Julian spoke neither to his mother nor to Loki for the rest of the evening. He lay in bed, consumed with frustration and worry. It occurred to him that he found himself doing just that more and more frequently. He wanted to laugh at himself, to find humor in his failings, but he couldn't. Not this time.

Why was that? So much had happened during such a short time that Julian couldn't be sure whether it was himself or his circumstances that had changed. He had never had found it quite so difficult to make light of things he couldn't control. Of course, he took himself too seriously sometimes, but he was always able to walk away from conflict feeling superior, a smug sense of having made his adversary feel uncomfortable.

But, he mused, this was different.

First of all, this wasn't the type of problem he could walk away from. It wasn't like high school; he couldn't just keep himself busy and wait for it to come to an end. There were decisions to be made. For once, rather than feeling directionless, Julian had been presented with too many directions from which to choose. For the first time in his life, it seemed that everyone wanted him in their corner. He wasn't in the way. In fact, he was an integral component of multiple, conflicting schemes.

Secondly, this wasn't a situation that was out of his control. Perhaps this was why he couldn't bring himself to laugh. Things weren't funny until there was nothing more he could do to improve his situation. This time, he was sure he could do something.

But what?

He stayed up late trying to figure his situation out, but eventually, his eyelids became heavy and he drifted off to sleep. This didn't last long, unfortunately; sometime in the wee hours of the morning, Julian jerked awake at the sound of someone knocking on his window. He rubbed his eyes and squinted to see whose face was behind the glass. As he expected, it was Alexis, yet again.

He groaned, rolled out of bed, and went to let her in. She was poised at the top of a tall ladder extending from the ground up to the second floor, and through the window, she passed Julian the metal carrying-case containing his supply of injections.

"You're not exactly being discreet about this," Julian whispered.

"Whatever," she replied quietly as she made her way over the window sill and into Julian's room. "Just do the first injection so I can get out of here."

Setting the case down on the bed, Julian opened it and removed one of the syringes. He examined it for a moment, turning it around in his hand.

"Come on," Alexis urged. "Just do it."

"Uh… okay." Julian extended his forearm and balanced the tip of the hypodermic needle against what he hoped was a vein, but he couldn't bring himself to jam the implement into his own skin. He had no idea what he was doing. "Um… what's the best way to do this?"

Alexis sighed. "Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously," Julian spat, his voice still hushed.

Without wasting any more time, Alexis seized his forearm, stuck Julian with the needle, and pushed whatever was in the syringe into his body. In the space of a few seconds, it was over.

"I have to do everything myself, don't I?" she grumbled as she withdrew the implement. "You're gonna have to figure this out for yourself eventually, you know."

"Yeah, I know," said Julian. "Now get out of my room."

"Gladly."

As she made her way back down the ladder, Julian shut the window. He slid the case containing the syringes under his bed, resolving that he would find a less-obvious hiding place in the morning. He was much too tired to worry about it just then. He pulled the covers back over his body, laid his head down on the pillow, and went back to sleep. About an hour later, however, another series of knocks on the window woke him.

"What now?" he groaned into his mattress. Again, he forced himself out of bed and over to the window, but this time, his visitor's identity came as a surprise.

"Kiki?" He pushed the window open slightly, but not enough to let her through. "What do you want?"

"I found this ladder out behind the house," she answered loudly, tapping her long fingernails against the top rung. "Let me in."

"No way," Julian replied, still foggy-headed and half-asleep. "You gotta go home."

"If you don't let me in, I'm gonna stay out here all night," Kiki threatened.

"Why? Why do you even have to be here right now?"

"Oh my God, shut up," Kiki whined, rolling her eyes. "Just let me in!"

"Fine," Julian sighed. "If you promise to leave me alone and let me get some sleep, you can come in. Deal?"

"Uh-huh, sure."

Eager to get back to bed, Julian opened the window once more. Kiki pulled herself up and through, sliding clumsily down from the windowsill and onto the bedroom floor. For someone who had once made her living dancing, she was pitifully graceless.

"You okay?" Julian asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good," she said.

"Alright," said Julian, inserting himself between the bed sheets again. "I'm going to sleep. Just… don't wake anyone up, okay?"

"Wait!" Kiki exclaimed, pulling herself up and sitting herself down on the foot of his bed. "I haven't seen you in forever."

"Yeah? So?"

"So, like… what's up?"

"Seriously?" Julian moaned, grasping at the crown of his hair. "You came over at five o'clock in the morning just to ask me 'what's up?'"

"I was just trying to be nice."

"It would be nice if you'd let me get some sleep," said Julian. "Why are you here right now, anyway?"

Kiki shrugged and sighed. "I just…" She paused, turning to look out the window. "I don't know, I wanted to talk to someone, I guess."

Something was off about her, Julian noticed. Her childish tone was replaced with the voice of a very tired grown woman.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Julian asked.

"I just wanna talk to you," she said. "Can I do that?"

"Why me?"

"I don't have anyone else to talk to," she admitted. "I'm quitting."

"Quitting what?"

"Everything," she said, inching closer to Julian. "I'm getting clean, and I'm not gonna work for Loki anymore. I don't even wanna see him again."

Julian was a bit surprised. "Seriously? That's… not what I expected."

"Uh-huh," Kiki confirmed, nodding. "I'm done with all this drug shit. Unless you count pot, but that's, like, not even a real drug. Actually…"

She began fishing for something in her cleavage, as she had a tendency to do, and extracted a small, glass pipe – shaped something like a spoon and only a bit larger than the lighter that came along with it – and a little plastic bag containing what was either marijuana or dried oregano. Julian guessed that it was the former.

"So, like, I realized when I was coming down the other day," Kiki said as she packed the pipe, "I was being a total bitch to you before, so… can I make it up to you?"

"Wow," said Julian, "you really are different when you're, uh… when you're not on coke…"

She put the pipe to her lips, flicked her lighter, and took a long, slow drag. She held her breath for a few seconds, then exhaled contentedly. "Here," she said, offering the pipe and the lighter to Julian.

"Oh, um, uh-uh, no thanks," Julian stuttered. "I don't really wanna get into that kind of thing."

"Aw, come on," Kiki whined, flashing her devilish smile. "I can tell you're all stressed out, honey. You'll feel, like, a ton better, I swear."

On any other night, he wouldn't have considered it, but he wasn't feeling quite himself, and even if Kiki was wrong, he didn't see how this could make things worse.

"Fine," he breathed as he took the pipe from her.

"Hold it like this," she said, leaning forward to reposition his hands.

He inhaled and tried to hold the smoke in his lungs, but he started coughing and couldn't stop himself.

Kiki giggled. "You don't smoke much, do you, sweetie?"

"Never," Julian wheezed.

"So, like, why now?" she asked, taking back the pipe. "Bad day?"

"The worst," he answered, regaining his breath.

"Aw, sweetie," Kiki cooed as she passed the pipe back to him. "What's wrong?"

He paused to take another hit. This time, he didn't cough. "I, um… I don't think I should talk about it."

"It's about your dad, isn't it?" she guessed, pouting slightly.

"Sort of," Julian replied with a shrug. "It's… complicated."

"He can be a royal pain in the ass to live with," said Kiki. "Like, no offense, but he's actually crazy. That's why I'm trying to get out."

"Yeah, I'm starting to get that," Julian agreed. "But he's still my dad, you know?"

"That doesn't mean you have to like him. You don't even have to love him."

"Maybe," said Julian, "but if it weren't for him, I'd probably be homeless right now. My mom would still be in prison, too."

"What's even going with them, anyway?" Kiki inquired before lighting the pipe again.

"I guess they're back together," Julian groaned, reclining to rest his head on a pillow.

Kiki rolled her eyes. "I kind of figured." She was speaking slower now. "But like, I don't get it."

"I know, right?" said Julian. "She didn't even wanna look at him a few days ago, and then I get home today, and she's just like, 'it's none of your business, I'll do what I want.'"

"Right," said Kiki, "but I get that. What I don't get is, like, the other way around."

"Really? What do you mean?"

"It's just… no offense, but, like, he's hot." She gestured at her own body. "He can get with this. Eileen… I mean, Elise – whatever she's calling herself now – it's not that she's not pretty, she's just, like… I don't know."

"Don't you think there's more to it than that?" said Julian, somewhat disturbed at the frank discussion of his parents.

Kiki rolled her eyes and lit the pipe again. She exhaled, then said, "It just makes me kind of mad, you know?" Her speech was becoming increasingly incoherent. "I don't even wanna be with him or anything anymore, it's just, like… I don't even know. You know?"

"I don't even know what to say to that," Julian said, running his fingers through his hair. He wasn't feeling the effects of the drug, and whatever Kiki had been talking about, it seemed to be devolving into gibberish.

She sighed dramatically and flopped onto her back to lie perpendicular to Julian, close enough for her hair to sweep against his cheek. "Do you care, though?" she asked.

"Huh?"

"Do you care that they're together?"

Julian rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. "I don't know how to feel about it," he groaned. "They're not good for each other. I just… I think it's a stupid decision."

"Yeah." Kiki turned onto her side to face him. "Like, to be honest, I'm kind of mad at them."

"So am I, a little bit," Julian agreed quietly.

There wasn't much more to say on the matter than that – at least not between the two of them – but rather than moving on to another topic, they just lay still. Julian stared at the ceiling, but he could feel Kiki's eyes on him, and in the silence, he was strangely aware of the rhythm of her breathing. He glanced at her, and their eyes met briefly. She smiled slyly and inched closer, draping her arm over his abdomen and resting her head between his chest and his shoulder. She exhaled slowly through her nose, and her eyelids fell gently shut.

"You're a good kid," she mumbled. "I shouldn't have been so mean to you."

"Thanks," Julian said. "It's okay."

Again, the room was silent. Julian's hand found the back of Kiki's head, and tenderly, he stroked her jet-black hair. She moaned softly, almost humming, and dragged her fingers gently down the length of his torso. Despite his inexperience, he knew what was happening; he just wasn't sure that he was prepared to let it happen.

"Kiki, um… maybe we should just…"

He lost his words when she slipped her hand under the elastic band of his shorts. He inhaled sharply as she curled her fingers around him, and his attempts at organized thought failed.

Kiki was still asleep in Julian's bed when he rose in the morning. He was equally ashamed and confused, and he decided against waking her. He watched her for a few moments to make sure she was deeply asleep – her deep, quiet breaths suggested that she was – before he knelt down to retrieve the case containing his treatment from under the bed. Moving slowly so as not to make a sound, he tried to imitate the way Alexis had administered the injection the night before. He had to shut his eyes as he emptied the dose into his vein. A droplet of blood escaped, and he pressed his shirt against the tiny wound to stop the bleeding. He then shut the case and carefully slid it back into its hiding place before getting dressed and heading down the stairs.

He reached the kitchen and found his mother clearing dishes from the table. She looked up, smiling slightly, the creases at the corners of her eyes deepening. A ponytail of her dry, dense hair rested against her back, lifeless even as she turned. She seemed tired, but content, and the affection in her face made it hard for Julian to stay upset with her.

"Good, you're up," she said. "You missed breakfast."

"I figured," Julian replied.

Elise shrugged. "You didn't miss much. I would've come up to get you, but I thought you might still be mad."

"I wasn't that mad," Julian lied.

"If you were, I understand," she said, pulling up a chair at the table. "This whole… situation probably doesn't make much sense to you."

"It doesn't," he replied, "but it's like you said. It's not up to me."

"Right," said Elise, lowering her voice, "but I just want to make sure you understand this. He and I went through a lot together. Things weren't great between us – things weren't even good between us – but he's still the father of my son."

"You're not doing this because of me, right?" Julian asked.

"Honestly? A little bit," Elise answered. "I thought you'd be happy."

"Would it change your mind if I said I wasn't?"

"No," said Elise. "There's other reasons, too. Besides, do you wanna be the one to break that news to him?"

Julian was still preparing a counter-argument when Loki entered the kitchen from the living room. He passed Julian and went directly to where Elise was sitting, placing a hand gently on the back of her neck and kissing her forehead.

Elise looked up at him and asked, "What do you have to do today?"

"Alexis will be arriving soon to help me sort that out, my dear," he replied calmly. "Now, would you please go upstairs and wake Kiki?"

Julian felt his face reddening.

"What are you talking about?" asked Elise. "When did she get here?"

"Last night," Loki replied matter-of-factly. "She crept in through our son's window. Strange little creature, that girl…"

"Um… how did you know?" said Julian.

He chuckled. "Do you think I am unaware of what happens in my own home? I see everything, my son."

"You can't see everything," Julian replied, more to reassure himself than to argue with his father.

"Is there something I am missing?" Loki asked.

"Um… I don't know. I, uh… I don't think so."

"You sound a bit uncertain," Loki laughed.

"What did I tell you about 'um' and 'uh,' Julie?" Elise interjected jokingly.

"You said…" Julian paused while he thought to avoid using those filler words. "You said it makes people sound..."

"Less credible," Elise concluded. "Loki, he's not keeping anything from us," she assured him, smiling. "Public speaking skills just skipped a generation, that's all."

Loki neither laughed nor smiled. "Go and wake Kiki, Elise."

Without another word, she left the kitchen and headed upstairs, leaving Julian alone with his father.

"I do not have time to play this game with you, son," Loki said, the way Julian imagined a parent might scold a younger child.

"There's no game," Julian replied. "There's nothing going on."

"I am not convinced." Loki sat down in the chair Elise left behind. "Julian, I am both more perceptive and more forgiving than you may think. Why are you so afraid to tell the truth?"

Julian said nothing.

"Or is it that you do not trust me?" Loki continued. "Is there someone you trust more than your own father?"

Julian had to think about that one. He found himself weighing S.H.I.E.L.D.'s willingness to kill against Loki's; the threat to his own life against the threat to his mother's; the certainty of the world Loki promised against the vague justice S.H.I.E.L.D. seemed to believe was achievable only through sacrifice on Julian's part. He remembered Alexis' cruelty and the experiments he had been subjected to as an infant, and he remembered the tender kiss Loki had placed on his mother's forehead just moments ago.

"If someone has threatened you," said Loki, "I swear to you, my son, that I will protect you. I will stand by your side to protect your mother as well, should it come to that."

"But you said the other day that you'd kill her," Julian recalled, playing devil's advocate against his own inclination.

"And I will, if I believe that that is what it will take to persuade you to act in your own best interest, but I hope that I will not need to make that sacrifice. I hope that I will rule this world with her at my side, and that you will inherit this world when that time comes."

Julian was more or less convinced, but he knew he couldn't tell the truth. Not in the house, where S.H.I.E.L.D. could hear the whole thing. But, he thought, if he could be subtle, if he could carry on the conversation so as not to arouse suspicion, perhaps…

"And yet, you still tell me nothing," Loki sighed, the creases in his forehead conveying his despair.

As he spoke, Julian pantomimed the act of writing on a tiny notebook in the palm of his hand. "There's nothing to tell," he said.

Loki straightened, the concern on his face replaced with keen interest. He stood slowly and searched the drawers under the counter for a pen. He located one and tore a piece of paper towel off the roll.

"I suppose I have no choice but to believe you," he said as he slid both items across the table to Julian. "After all, you would never put your own mother in harm's way."

"Obviously, of course not," Julian said as he scrawled his confession on the paper towel: S.H.I.E.L.D. IS LISTENING. He slid the note back to Loki.

"Perhaps we should discuss something else," Loki said as he penned his response in skinny, tall font: HOW? He passed the note back to Julian. "Have you decided whether you will be attending college?"

Julian started writing again. "I probably won't. Turns out that scholarship only covers tuition."

HOUSE IS BUGGED. CAR TOO, PROBABLY. TALK SOMEWHERE ELSE?

Loki grinned as he read Julian's response. "Perhaps we should take a walk. You sound like you could use some fresh air."