A/N: Hey everyone. I know I usually don't update during the week but I had the chapter ready and I don't know when I'll be able to get online again so I thought I'd just go ahead and post it now. I'm sorry it's been so long since I last updated. Things are not going real well in my life. My father is in the ICU and he is not doing good. So I'm not sure how often I'll be able to update my story after this. I'll do the best that I can.
Thank you to everyone that read and reviewed my last chapter. I was glad to see that most people liked it. This chapter is mainly about the girls adjusting to their new way of life. I didn't write a whole lot about their week of grounding because I am going to try to get the story back on track as far as the plot goes. I'm sure you're all wondering what's going to happen next with the whole vampire situation. This chapter doesn't deal with that yet but the next one will, and eventually you'll find out where the ring came from. Sound fun? I hope so! :-)
Okay well that's really all I can think to say. I probably wanted to say something else about this chapter but if I did I forgot what it was. I hope everyone likes it and as always please forgive any mistakes you may find.
"I don't ever remember being this miserable when I got grounded as a kid," Eden moaned to me as she dried the dish she was holding. It was the last evening of our grounding and it was just the two of us in the kitchen cleaning up the mess from dinner. I was washing the dishes and Eden was drying, because she hated to wash.
"That's because when our parents grounded us they started to feel bad about two days into the grounding and they let us off the hook," I reminded her as I rinsed off another dish and handed it to her. "This time we had to suffer through an entire week. No short term grounding anymore," I added with a sigh.
Eden made a face as she dried the dish off. "Yeah no kidding," she said with a pout as she set the dish aside. "And what's up with this crap about making us clean the kitchen up by ourselves after meals?" She added as she looked down at her fingernails. The week long, three times a day kitchen duty had not been kind on Eden's nails, which really annoyed her. She had, after all, just painted them and they had looked great. Now I had to admit that they looked like crap.
I shrugged as I washed off the last dish. I had been taking longer than I needed to because I was dreading going back to my room. "Well think about it this way," I told her as I gave her the dish to dry off. "We got to talk to each other while we cleaned everything up. Imagine if we had to come in here, eat, and then go straight back to our rooms. That would have made it worse."
"That's true," Eden admitted as she finished drying the dish. She placed it on top of the stack of the other sparkling dishes and then looked around. We were all done, and now it was time to head back to our rooms. Neither one of us moved.
"At least this is the last night," I reminded her. "Tomorrow we're free!" I added with a smile, trying to stay upbeat.
"I know, but in a way that makes it harder to go back to my room tonight," she said with a groan. Eden really, really hated to stay in one place for too long. It drove her nuts. During the week, every time she had come out of her room to eat she had pouted the whole time, and once she had even dared to get smart with Dean when he said something to her about her pouting. As soon as she had finished with her smart reply she had been promptly escorted out of the kitchen and to the living room, where Dean had given her five hard smacks on her butt.
I almost got into trouble that night too, because of course I had wanted to go in there and help Eden. But Sam had to only say my name once and give me that look to keep me in my seat. When Dean had brought Eden back into the kitchen tears were rolling down her cheeks and she had looked quite pitiful. She'd said nothing and had looked at no one for the remainder of the meal, and when it was time for us to clean up Sam had left to go do whatever he did for the evening, but Dean had stayed behind and watched us as we cleaned.
When we were done Dean had told Eden to stay for a moment, and I left the kitchen alone. I had moved slowly though, and I had caught a few of the things that Dean had said to Eden. I'd been afraid that he had made her stay put with the intention of punishing her further, but all he had wanted to do was offer her comfort, which she had gladly accepted. I had gone to my room that night feeling a bit better about the whole situation.
That's pretty much how the whole week had gone. Eden had tested Dean more than I had tested Sam. I often wondered where Eden got her nerve to be so daring. The spanking Sam had given me had been more than enough to keep me in line during my week of grounding. I did not want him to spank me again anytime soon. I knew Eden's spanking had been just as intense as mine, but still she tested Dean. And every time she did he'd pop her on the butt, and the blows had not been gentle.
Now I sighed deeply as I looked around the kitchen, trying to find a reason to stay a little longer. Indeed the idea of going back to my room seemed more terrible than it had in the past few days. Freedom was so close! I could literally taste it, and I wanted it right now. Not tomorrow. But there was nothing I could do about that, and it was irritating.
I didn't want to go back to the silence of my room because I knew the thoughts that had been haunting me all week would come back to visit me. During my time of bored isolation my mind had wandered freely. I had thought of all kinds of things. Some good, some bad. Most of it had been good though, because I had wanted to stay positive. But a very disturbing thought had broken through, and once it had it never left me alone. It was terrible. I knew soon I would have to talk to Sam about it, because it involved him. I just hadn't done it yet because it was not something I was eager to bring up. I hated the thought and was always running from it. But the day I would have to stop and face it was coming soon.
"Hey!" A loud voice suddenly barked out, and Eden and I jumped at the sound. Dean was standing in the kitchen door, his arms crossed over his chest as he gazed at us, his eyes stern. "What're you two still doing in here? You're done cleaning up," he added as he looked around at the clean kitchen. "As I recall, the rule is that you're supposed to go back to your rooms as soon as you're done," he continued as he locked his gaze onto Eden. "Right?" he asked her, raising one eyebrow.
Eden shifted nervously as she reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "Yes sir," she answered softly.
Dean stood there and stared at her for a moment before looking over at me. I snorted at him. "Hey, don't look at me like that," I grumbled at him. "You're not getting a 'yes sir' from me."
"How about me?" Sam suddenly said as he appeared in the door way behind Dean. "Do I get a 'yes sir' from you?" Dean moved aside and Sam stepped further into the kitchen, his arms crossed over his chest too.
I groaned silently. "Yes sir," I said with a sigh. I kept my eyes on Sam's for a moment before lowering them to study the kitchen floor. For a few moments nothing but tense silenced filled the room, and then Dean cleared his throat and stepped aside.
"Eden," he said, and she looked at him. "Back to your room. Now," he added, pointing at the door. For a moment she didn't move and then I saw her sigh quietly.
"Yes sir," she said again as she started to move. As she walked by Dean I wished I could warn her to cover her butt. I was surprised that she hadn't already. She kept going, still leaving herself wide open, and sure enough when she walked by him he delivered a sharp slap to her rear. She jumped and whimpered, and the swat motivated her to nearly run out of the kitchen and through the living room. Dean followed her and I was left alone in the kitchen with Sam.
He stood there for a moment and studied me before sighing. "You too," he told me as he moved aside. "Get going," he added as I bit down on my lower lip. Not leaving anything to chance, I dropped my hands behind me, covering my own butt as well as I could. I started forward, moving as quickly as I could. I approached him and for a moment I thought I was in the clear, but suddenly he moved to stand in the doorway, blocking the only exit.
"Move your hands," he ordered me quietly.
My eyes went wide, and then I shook my head. "No," I said as a stupid flare of defiance sparked to life inside me. Apparently I had forgotten my earlier desire not to get spanked again any time real soon. I watched in nervous silence as Sam's jaw clenched, and then my eyes went wide when that muscle in his jaw started going about one hundred miles an hour. He didn't even have to add a threat to that before I suddenly found myself doing as I was told. The tense silence continued as I stood there, and I felt my lower lip tremble as I stared at him.
He let me stand there and squirm for a few more moments before he spoke again. "Turn around," he ordered next.
I moaned rather loudly but did it anyway. Tears filled my eyes and started to fall as I turned slowly, and Sam said nothing as I did. Once I had my back to him he moved over to my side, grabbed my arm, and gave me six hard smacks on my still sore butt. I let out several howls as he landed each blow, and once it was done Sam forced me to turn and face him again. With my arms crossed under my breast I stood there and cried as he watched me.
"That was for not going to your room as soon as you were done with the kitchen," he told me, still speaking quietly. "It was also for being rude to Dean," he continued as I cried. "And it was for not listening when I told you to move your hands." He fell silent again for a few moments. "I strongly advise you not to push me again that much," he warned me. "Do you understand me, Rivan?"
"Yes sir," I choked out as the tears rained down.
"Good girl," Sam said, and this time his tone wasn't as hard. Then to my surprise he reached out and pulled me into his arms. He held me close and for a moment I didn't move. Then finally I gave in and wrapped my arms around him and buried my face against his chest as I cried. He murmured soft words to me as he rubbed my back and in between that he dropped several kisses on my head as he held me. Finally after a few minutes I calmed down and he let me go and gently pushed me away from him so he could look down at me.
"You okay?" he asked softly as he wiped a few of my tears away with his thumb.
Well the blows had hurt like hell, because of course my butt was still pretty tender from my big spanking. But yeah, I guess I was okay now. As okay as I could get. I had to admit that Sam's hug helped a lot. "Yes sir," I whispered out my answer as I stared up at him with watery eyes.
"Good," he said, his tone still soft. He gently kissed my lips for a moment and then he gave me another comforting hug before letting me go and stepping back. "Time for bed," he told me, nodding toward the door.
I felt my shoulders slump but I nodded anyway. "Yes sir," I said again as I started forward. Sam said nothing as I left the kitchen, and he didn't follow me. I moved through the living room quickly and climbed the stairs. Of course Eden had already made it to her room and Dean was nowhere in sight. With a feeling of dread I approached my room and groaned out loud while I opened the door and went inside. I got ready for bed slowly and then crawled in just as slowly. I turned the light off, and instantly that thought that I'd been dreading attacked me.
It tormented me for most of the night, and finally around dawn it retreated, and only then was I able to drift off to sleep with tears still glistening on my cheeks.
Three weeks later:
Heaving a deep, heavy sigh, I pushed myself into a sitting position on the couch. I was in the den with Sam and had been there most of the morning. We had talked for a while but for the most part Sam had stayed quiet as he fiddled on his laptop, looking up article after article, still trying to find a way to destroy my grandmother's ring and end the many problems we were having. He still wasn't having much luck.
Dean and Eden were off somewhere else in the house, enjoying each other's company. It had been three weeks since we'd be grounded. Everything had pretty much gone back to normal. Sam and Dean had gone back to being the gentle and loving boyfriends that we remembered, and both Eden and I had been spoiled with a lot of attention from our respective men. But just because that was so did not mean Sam and Dean weren't willing to lay down the law and dish out punishment when they needed to. Over the last three weeks Eden and I had tested them in small ways, and we found that they were quick to respond in the way they had promised us they would. Smart replies earned us several smacks on the butt, and those smacks were not love pats.
Any kind of deliberate disobedience got us into even more trouble. Because she was so short Eden had gotten into the habit of climbing onto the kitchen counter and kneeling on it while looking through the cabinets for whatever she needed at the moment. I had tried to talk her into standing on a chair to reach what she needed, which was something I had started doing. But for whatever reason she wouldn't do it. She preferred to climb on the counter. Well one afternoon while she was up there she had slipped and almost fell on the hard kitchen floor. Thank God Dean had walked in just in time, and moving as only he could move, he'd caught her before she could hit the ground.
Dean had kind of freaked out, which in that case I couldn't blame him, and told her never to do it again. If she needed something out of the cabinets and refused to at least stand on a chair to reach it, she was to come get him and he'd get what she needed. Well, as stubborn as Eden was it annoyed her that she couldn't get something out of the cabinets herself so of course she climbed back onto the counter anyway. Dean had walked into the kitchen the very next day just as she was climbing back down.
Needless to say he had been pissed. Big time. He had marched her directly upstairs and to her room and had spanked her hard enough to make her shriek, and she shrieked loud enough so that I could hear her all the way downstairs and in the office slash library set in the back of the house. Sam had made me come in there with him while Eden got spanked. When I had attempted to run out of the office to go save Eden, or at least smack the crap out of Dean, Sam had gone after me and once he caught me he had picked me up and carried me back into the office. I had gotten a spanking that day too because I bit him while he had been carrying me.
Adjusting to this new way of life was proving a bit hard for us, and I knew it would take a while to get used to this new Sam and Dean. We were used to the Sam and Dean that only yelled at us when we did something we weren't supposed to. Now we had to get used to the Sam and Dean that would yell at us and spank us when we misbehaved.
But I have to say that even though we got our butts blistered more often now, we were always given the tenderest and most wonderful comfort once the punishment was over. Our men made sure that we knew without a doubt that we were loved and forgiven for whatever we had done. It was times like that when I thought this new way of life wasn't so bad after all. But in between these times of insane testing and dedicated attention I found that I was still plagued by something. That thought that had found me during my week of being grounded was always with me. Even when Sam held me and kissed me it tormented me still. Actually during these times it was worse than ever.
I had been fighting against it for three weeks now, and I knew I couldn't hold out much longer. It was killing me. I knew Sam could tell something was wrong, and many times he had asked if I was okay or if I needed to talk to him about anything. I always said no and though I could tell he wasn't convinced he didn't push me.
So when I sat up on the couch that afternoon to find him sitting across from me on the other couch and watching me, I knew I could no longer hold it back.
"Can we go for a walk?" I asked him softly. "Just you and me? Do you think it would be safe enough? I'd love to go walk along the beach. I've never been to a place where I had a private beach," I added, aware that I was beginning to ramble. I forced myself not to say anything else as I waited for Sam's answer.
He sat there and studied me for a moment before taking a deep breath. "I'll take you for a walk on one condition," he told me, and I waited to hear that condition. "That you talk to me while we're walking and tell me what's going on with you. And don't tell me nothing is going on because I know something's up, Rivan. You've been acting odd for weeks now," he told me as he leaned back slightly. "I need to know what's going on, baby. I know whatever it is, it's upsetting you. You need to talk to me about it."
I bit down on my lower lip and swallowed hard. "Okay," I told him, still speaking softly. "I'll tell you about what's going on," I promised.
Sam said nothing as he watched me, looking thoughtful. Then finally he sighed and sat up. "Okay," he said as he started to shut down his laptop. "Good. We'll take a walk then."
I brightened. "So you think it's safe enough to go?" I asked him as I watched him close his laptop.
"It should be," he replied as he placed the laptop on the coffee table and got up. "But I don't think we should stay out too long," he added as he moved toward me and offered me his hand.
"Okay," I said as I took his hand. He pulled me off the couch easily and smiled down at me. I smiled back, feeling rather good. Though I would soon have to talk about something I dreaded I still looked forward to going outside. I hadn't been out of the house in such a long time. A long, long time.
Suddenly feeling very excited about our walk, I grabbed Sam's hand and did my best to pull him out of the den as fast as I could. He laughed softly at my excitement but tugged on my hand, making me pause. "I have to let Dean know where we're going," he told me when I gave him an impatient look. I made a face at him but nodded, and he leaned down and kissed me before moving to the living room. Dean and Eden weren't in there so I figured they must be upstairs.
I guess Sam figured the same, and rather than going up there and running the risk of interrupting something important, he pulled his cell phone out and just called Dean. Oh yeah, side note here. Eden and I still haven't gotten our phones back yet. Aggravating. Anyway I stood there and tapped my foot impatiently as Sam talked to Dean and told him where we were going. Thankfully the conversation was short and a few minutes later Sam and I were outside and walking toward the beach.
"It's so pretty out here!" I said as we walked. I looked all around, trying to take everything in at once, and because I wasn't paying attention I stumbled over a root sticking out of the ground and would have fallen flat on my face if Sam hadn't caught me.
"It's not going to stay pretty if you fall and hurt yourself," Sam said as he caught my arm and held me steady.
"I'm okay," I said, brushing aside the incident. I had just spotted the water ahead of us and my heart leapt in excitement. I loved water. Be it lakes, beaches, ponds, or just little streams, I loved the water. "Come on!" I urged Sam. "You move too slow," I added as I pulled on his hand. "You can do better than that. What good are those long legs of yours if you don't use them? Come on, come on!" I groaned impatiently before he could answer. "I thought you were twenty-six, not eighty-six!"
Sam's eyes went wide and then he laughed. Oh Lord, I loved the sound of his laughter. But at the sound of it I realized I hadn't heard it in a long time. I couldn't even remember the last time I heard him laugh. Mesmerized, I paused and watched him as he smiled so wonderfully. I loved the way his entire face lit up when he was that happy. He didn't get much opportunity to be this relaxed. It made me sad that I couldn't see him shine like this more often.
Before I could mourn anymore about his stressful life Sam suddenly grabbed me, picked me up, and slung me over his shoulder. I shrieked and then laughed as he started toward the beach, his long legs getting him there quickly. "This fast enough for you?" he asked me, and I could tell he was still grinning.
"Eh, I guess it's okay," I said, rolling my eyes even though he couldn't see me. "Grandpa," I added in a wicked tone.
Without pausing in his stride Sam reached up and gave my butt a good slap. I shrieked at the little sting it left behind and whined good naturedly as Sam laughed at me. Moments later he stopped and set me down on my feet. "You're such a brat," he told me as he smiled down at me.
I shrugged. "I know. But I'm your brat."
"Very true," he replied, and then he leaned down to kiss me. The kiss lasted for a few minutes, and then the sound of waves on the water behind me had me stopping and turning to look. "Hey!" Sam said, tugging on my hair gently. "Is the water more important than me?"
"Yep!" I said as I looked back at him. "At least right now it is. Don't worry though. It'll only have my attention for a little while," I added with a grin.
Sam sighed and rolled his eyes. "Fine, whatever," he said with a smile. Propping his hands on his hips he looked around and spotted a good sized log a few feet behind him. "We can sit there and watch the water. And talk," he added in a more serious tone. "You promised me we would talk while we're out here."
I sighed. In my excitement I had forgotten about that for at least a few minutes. "Well, we have been talking," I said, keeping my tone light and cheerful.
Sam let out a slightly exasperated sigh before folding his arms over his chest. "Rivan," he said, his tone still serious, along with a slight hint of warning.
I made a face at him. "Okay, okay. We'll talk in a minute. I want to go look at the water a little closer than this. Please?" I added, looking up at him with big eyes.
Sam took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "Okay, fine. But I want to know what's going on before we head back to the house," he told me, and now his tone was firm.
I nodded quickly. "Yes sir," I told him. He stood there and studied me for a moment before leaning down and kissing me again. Smiling, he wandered over to the log and sat down.
Trying not to think about the talk we would soon have, I left Sam sitting on his log and wandered closer to the water. There was a bit of a breeze on this sunny day, enough to make small waves on the surface of the lake. I stood at the very edge of the shoreline and watched as the waves lapped softly onto the sand, and at one point a good size wave came up, nearly causing the water to wash over my shoes. Giggling like a little kid, I jumped back quickly, avoiding the wave. Then the water pulled back and I moved forward again and stared down into it. The lake was so clear that I could see little minnows swimming in the shallow water, being rocked gently by the currents.
I moved closer, my shoes now touching the wet sand. I was just entertaining the idea of kicking them off and wading in the water a bit when I heard Sam's voice. "Don't get so close Rivan," he called to me from his perch on the old, sun bleached log. "You're gonna fall in," he added when I turned to look at him.
"Would that be so bad?" I asked with a smile. "The water's not cold. And I know how to swim well enough that I wouldn't drown in the shallow water."
He frowned at me. "Rivan," he said, and now I could easily hear the warning in his voice.
I sighed. "I guess that means I can't even take my shoes off and wade in the water for a while?" I asked, giving him a pleading look.
He shook his head. "I don't want you out of reach."
"I won't go far," I promised.
"No, Rivan."
"Come on Sam, please? Just a tiny little ways out? I won't stay in long."
His frown deepened. "I said no, Rivan," he told me, and I could hear the irritation quite clearly in his deep voice. Since I had no longing to turn this little outing into an argument any sooner than I needed to, I sighed and backed down.
"Yes sir," I said, and looked back out at the water. If I hadn't thought the talk we were going to have soon would anger Sam I might have fought a little harder on the whole wading in the water thing. But I was pretty sure what I had to say was going to make Sam mad, or at least upset him to some degree, and like I said I didn't want to get into an argument just yet. So I tried to stay content just standing there and looking out at the water before me. I had only been doing that for a few minutes before Sam suddenly called out to me again.
"Rivan," he said, and I turned to look at him. "Come here," he told me, holding out his hand. I noticed that he didn't look happy, and I wondered if he was still mad about what just happened. I cringed. Had my arguing earned me a scolding? Ugh. My shoulders slumped as I started toward him, my arms crossed tightly over my chest. I approached him, instinctively stopping just beyond his reach. He looked up at me, exasperation written all over his face, and then leaned forward.
He hooked one finger through one of the belt loops on my shorts and used it to pull me forward. I yelped in surprise as I was jerked toward him faster than I thought possible, and my hands flew out to rest on his shoulders as he guided me to stand right between his long legs. I kept my hands on his shoulders as his own hands circled my waist. He sat there and stared up at me, and I felt myself blushing as I studied the golden highlights that the sun had brought out in his hair.
"Sit down," he suddenly told me, patting his right knee. I could feel the color in my cheeks blossom to a full bloom, and for a moment I didn't move. Usually when he wanted me to sit on his knee he was mad at me and planning to chew me out. Or worse. I looked at him with a frown, and he raised one eyebrow at me, waiting.
Resisting the sudden urge to stick my tongue out at him, I gritted my teeth and turned slightly. I sank down onto his knee with a loud, dramatic sigh, which at least seemed to amuse him for a moment. But that serious look crept back in his eyes, and I sighed quietly and turned my head to look back at the water. I knew he was waiting for me to say something, but I wasn't quite ready yet. So we sat there quietly for several minutes, and I watched the water and Sam watched me. Then all of a sudden I found I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to ask the one thing that had been plaguing my mind. I realized I'd been holding back for way too long now, and I found I couldn't hold back any more.
So I looked back at him and he gazed at me, an expectant look on his face while he watched me with calm eyes. "Sam," I began uncertainly, and then I figured to hell with it. "Are you…do you…" My voice trailed off, and I was annoyed. I had meant to spit it out, and here I was still stalling. I took a deep, determined breath and then looked him right in the eyes. "Do you hate me at all for any reason?" There, I had finally said it! Ha!
But the look that stole over Sam's face took the wind from my sails of triumph quite quickly. "Excuse me?" he replied, his tone laden with disbelief. "What did you just say to me?"
I swallowed hard. "I just…I just asked if…you hated me at all for any reason," I repeated, though my voice was nowhere near as confident as it had been the first time.
Now Sam was staring at me in confused outrage. "Do I hate you for any reason?" he echoed, as though the question would sound better if he said it too. "What the hell Rivan…why would I hate you?" I didn't answer and he stared at me. "Wait, is this about that spanking I gave you a few weeks ago?" he asked, struggling to get a grasp on what was going on. "Do you think I spanked you because I hate you?"
My entire face was now bright red. I knew that without a doubt. No longer sure of what I had just opened myself up to, I attempted to look back out at the water, but no dice. Sam caught my chin quickly and forced me to look back at him.
"Answer me," he demanded, his tone firm. "Do you think I spanked you because I hate you?"
He wasn't going to let go until he got an answer, so I saw no reason to keep quiet. I swallowed again and took a deep breath. "No," I told him softly. "I don't think you…did that because you hate me." I gritted my teeth again and took another deep breath. This was going to cost me. "I think you did that because…because I did something really stupid and almost got myself killed. I think you…spanked me because I deserved it." Oh yeah. That had cost me a lot to admit, as I knew it would. Thoroughly embarrassed now, I reached up to pull Sam's hand away from my chin, but he refused to let go.
He was sitting there staring at me in wide eyed disbelief, and he continued to do so for several minutes. I squirmed slightly on his knee as I waited for him to get his voice back. My squirming seemed to help him find his voice, thankfully, and he now frowned at me. "Okay," he said slowly, staring at me intensely. "So why do you think I might hate you?"
"Well I just…I…I don't know. I've been thinking lately. About Castiel."
Sam narrowed his eyes in confusion. "Castiel? What? Why?"
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a moment and then opened them. "I've been thinking about what he said, back at the hotel the night you and Dean rescued us," I told him, and suddenly I was on the run to spill my guts about the secret fear I'd been harboring for weeks now. "Remember how he said that God had plans for us? For me and Eden? Remember he said that God had made Eden for Dean…and that he made me for you?" I asked softly.
He frowned at me. "Yeah, I remember," he said as he stared at me.
I swallowed hard. "Well I couldn't help but think that if that were true…if God was going to make a certain woman just for you…why wasn't it Jess?"
Sam's eyes went as big and round as saucers. "What?" he asked quietly. Too quietly.
Stupid me failed to notice. I was swimming in my ocean of misery and the dark waves were all that I could see and feel. I kept going, forgetting about the risk of making him mad. "If God had a woman planned for you, one that was meant to be with you forever, why wasn't it Jess? Your first true love? Why didn't he pick her, and keep her protected for you? Surely she was more suitable for you. I mean, I'm sure she never caused you as much trouble as I have. And I've seen her pictures. She was so pretty, and I could tell she was strong and brave. I'm not really all that strong or brave. And I'm a serious pain in the butt. Don't deny it."
In the back of my mind I was vaguely aware that Sam had slowly let the hand that had been holding my chin slip away until it was resting on his leg as he stared at me. I continued with my rant, completely oblivious to the storm I was stirring up in the man whose knee I was still sitting on.
"It should have been Jess," I told him quietly, staring down at my hands. "If God was going to pick a woman for you, it should have been her. Not me. That's what I've been thinking about lately," I added. "And then I figured…if I was thinking about it…surely you were too. I was sure the thought had already crossed your mind. You loved Jess. And you lost her in a terrible way. And then when Castiel said that God had made me for you…I'm sure you wondered why he hadn't made Jess for you, and why he hadn't made sure she stayed safe and was around for whatever plans he has for you and me. So that's why I figured there might be a part of you that hates me. Because you got me instead of Jess," I finished, and looked up at Sam.
I only caught a brief flare of shock, hurt, and anger in those hazel eyes before I suddenly felt myself being pitched forward. I let out a shrill scream as I went flying off Sam's right knee and then directly over his left knee. My stomach made rather rough contact with said knee, but I gave that no more thought as one hand clutched Sam's leg while I braced the other one on the hot, sandy earth beneath us. I stared at the glittering grains of sand in horror and opened my mouth, ready to let out an almighty screech, when Sam's hand came cracking down across my butt.
I let out that almighty screech then, but it had no effect on Sam at all. His hand rose and fell rapidly without any pause, and I started to wail as the heat sunk through my jean shorts all too quickly. The denim was not blocking the blows at all like I thought it would, and I cried out in dismay as my still tender rear started to throb a lot quicker than I cared for.
"Sam, nooooo!" I howled desperately. "Please stop!" But my pleading got me nowhere, and to my complete embarrassment he continued to give me a spanking right there on that little beach in the middle of Dedham, Maine. I prayed that no one suddenly came along, and prayed that Dean and Eden hadn't heard my shrieks. We had walked quite a ways from the house though, so I really didn't think they had. As far as anyone else coming along was concerned, we had no neighbors for miles.
The spanking was fast and furious, and I wasn't sure how many smacks I got, but just when I thought it would never end it actually stopped, and then I was pulled off his knee and plopped back down on his other knee, where I had started off. My head spinning, I reached out and placed a hand on Sam's shoulder, trying to steady myself. Tears were streaming down my cheeks and I trembled as I looked at Sam with wide, horrified eyes.
"Don't you do that," he snarled at me, and I cringed. "Don't you dare look at me like that. Not after what you just said to me. This is what's been bothering you? This is what you've been thinking about all this time? How could you even think that, let alone say it? What the hell is wrong with you, Rivan?" he bellowed, and I jumped. "It's true that I loved Jess! I loved her a lot! And there's a part of me that still loves her, and always will. But you're in my life now! You're here and you're real and you're mine! After what Cas said, I never, not even for a second, wished that I had Jess instead of you! Jess is dead, and there's nothing I can do about that! But you're here, and I love you! And you can bet that I sure as hell don't hate you because you're here instead of Jess! Good God Rivan, how can you—I would never—Damn it! I've got half a mind to peel off those skin tight shorts of yours and wail on your butt until it blisters!"
I jerked as though he had touched me with a live wire. He looked dead serious. "NO!" I wailed, clutching his shirt with both hands. "No, please don't! I'm sorry, I didn't mean— "
"Yes you did or you wouldn't have said it!" he growled at me. "I don't know why you can't get it through your stubborn head! It's you I want, and no one else! Are you hearing me, Rivan? Are you understanding me? Don't you remember what I told you that night I spanked you? Don't you remember what I told you I was before you came along? I was a solid wall and that's pretty much it! I refused to let myself love anyone for years after I lost Jess. There were women I was interested in, but I never let myself love them, because I knew nothing could come of it! Because of what I do, because of the life I live, I thought I could never have anyone like that again!" He stopped for a moment and seemed to be trying to calm himself, but it didn't work, because when he continued with his rant he still sounded just as mad.
"But I was wrong to shut myself down like that. I had no idea how bad off I was until you came along and I actually fell in love with you. You saved me from myself. You pulled me out of the darkness that I had trapped all around me. Don't you get it? Jess was made for me all those years ago, just for that one time. It was wonderful and I loved her. And like I said, there's a part of me that will always love her. But you…you were made for me forever. And damn it, I'm going to keep you forever! I am tired of letting this life ruin things for me! I'm tired of sacrificing everything! I deserve at least one good thing, and baby, you're it. And don't you ever doubt it again!"
With that he suddenly grabbed me and jerked me to him, and then his lips were crushing mine. For a moment I resisted, because I wasn't sure how I felt about being spanked and then passionately kissed. But all too soon the whole passionate part kicked in. He kissed me in a way that nearly took my breath away. My head spun, my heart soared, my body celebrated, and my soul was set on fire. I melted into him and kissed back, desperate to give back as much passion as I was getting. But despite my intenspasse love for him, there was no way I could match what Sam was doing. His own desperation, determination, and passion had consumed me completely, and he was wielding it like no other could even hope to.
The kiss lasted a few more fiery minutes, and just when I thought Sex on the beach was no longer going to be restricted to the name of a drink, Sam pulled back, breathing heavily. I nearly collapsed against him, resting my cheek on his chest, breathing just as hard. I clung to him as we recovered, and then he spoke.
"Look at me," he said, his tone soft but rough, both with left over passion and left over anger. Too bad it wasn't all just left over passion. I whimpered slightly and for a moment did not move. Sam ran one large hand down my back, and then griped my upper arms. "Look at me, Rivan." This time it was a demand, and with a sigh I leaned back and looked up at him. Tears were still falling down my cheeks, and he leaned down and gently kissed a few away.
"Don't ever talk like that again," he told me as his warm lips roamed over my face, removing my tears slowly and precisely. "I don't want to ever hear you saying anything like that again. Because if I ever hear you talk like that again…" His trailed off, and with a deep sigh he carefully pressed his forehead to mine. "Please," he whispered, and there was a tremor in his deep voice. "Don't say it again. Don't think it any more. I love you, and I want you. Please Rivan…please tell me you understand that. Please tell me that you believe that." He was like a man starved for water, begging for a drop of the precious, life giving liquid. Only this form of life giving liquid was…love.
I shivered in his arms for a moment, and then my lips found his. "Of course I believe it," I murmured softly between kisses. "I know that you love me, Sam. I definitely know it now. I'm sorry. Sometimes I just get…scared. Scared that I'll lose you. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. But I just had to know. I had to know how you felt about what Castiel said. I had to know that you…were okay with me being the one. I know it was stupid!" I added hastily as Sam pulled back and gave me a hard look. "But you never said anything about what he said, and I couldn't help but wonder."
He studied me for a moment and then sighed quietly. "No more wondering," he told me. "Now you know for sure how I feel. So no more wondering. Do you understand me?" He caught my chin again and made me look at him, and I nodded.
"I understand," I promised him, and after he studied me for a few more moments we shared a calmer, sweeter kiss before I rested my head on his shoulder. We sat there for quite a while and looked out at the water, and for the first time in several weeks there were no worries praying on my mind.
After that life was a lot better. I was happier than I had been in a long time, and it seemed the same way for Sam. Dean and Eden seemed just as happy. Of course we were all aware that our lives were not completely full of roses and sunshine, but we were all handling things pretty well. It had been a while since Eden and I had tested Sam and Dean's patience, but as I had learned long ago perfection was difficult to hold onto. A month had passed since I had gotten my first serious spanking from Sam. All the spankings that had occurred after that had been very small compared to that one. I had to admit that I was doing rather well considering how stubborn and bratty I could be.
Then one day it kind of went down the pot. One late afternoon found me upstairs in my room, trying really hard not to swear as I dug through my bag for what was probably the tenth time. And for the tenth time I didn't find what I was looking for. This time I really did swear.
I couldn't find my little pink bag, the one that carried my more personal items, the most important being tampons. I didn't absolutely need them right that second, but I figured any day I would, and having them close at hand would make me feel better. But like I said, after much searching I still had not found that bag. At this point the only place I could imagine it would be is in the Impala. How I managed to get out of the car and in this house without it I don't know. I sat there on my bed for a few minutes, trying to think how I was going to do this. I would have to ask Sam to go get it for me. An embarrassing thought, but you gotta do what you gotta do. So after heaving a heavy sigh I got up and left my room.
As I stepped into the hall I saw that the door to Eden's room was still closed. She had gone upstairs a few hours ago, looking rather sleepy. We had not heard a peep from her since then, and Dean had checked on her several times. I'd heard him muttering to Sam about her still being asleep, and now I frowned. Apparently she was still asleep. It would be dinner time soon, and I decided if she wasn't awake by the time I got back upstairs with my bag, I'd go check on her.
After standing there for a few more moments I sighed again and walked down the hall and hurried down the stairs, intent on finding Sam. But a little while later, after checking the living room, the kitchen, and the library slash office, I still hadn't found him. Standing in the entryway, I stomped my foot in frustration.
"Oh come on. Don't tell me you're standing there having some kind of tantrum!" Dean's voice startled me so much I jumped, and then I whirled around to glare at him. There he was, leaning against the door jamb that led into the living room, watching me with that annoying smile on his face.
I took a deep breath and clenched my fists. "I was looking for Sam," I told him, trying to sound civil.
"Why, so you can have an audience for that temper tantrum you're having?" Dean asked me dryly. "Not a very good idea to pull one of those on Sam, is it? You know he doesn't put up with your crap anymore. My guess is, if you stomp your foot at him just once, you'll find yourself marched upstairs to your room and bent over his knee before you could even start cussing."
I stared at him, wide eyed, as the color quickly rushed to my cheeks. Dean grinned. Oh, damn him! For a moment I seriously considering slapping that grin off his face, but I knew I'd pay a big price for that. There was no doubt about that. So, using all the restraint and patience that I had left at my disposal, I fought back that urge and looked at him.
"I just needed him to get something for me," I told Dean. "Where is he?"
"Last time I saw him, he went outside to take a walk."
I blinked. "A walk? Why would he do that? I thought it was too dangerous to go outside alone!" I added, not able to hide the annoyance in my voice.
Dean smirked. "It's dangerous for you. And Eden. Sam will be okay. What was it that you needed him to get for you?"
The color in my cheeks intensified. "Well, I think I left something in the car. It's a little pink bag, and I need it."
"What's in it?"
I gritted my teeth. This is exactly why I'd wanted to ask Sam to go get it. He knew what the thing was and he wouldn't have asked questions. "Just some stuff I need," I told him, narrowing my eyes at him.
"What kind of stuff?"
"Damn it Dean!" I finally exploded. "Just stuff, okay?"
"Hey, watch your mouth!" he warned me, the smug expression melting into a look of warning. "Just because Sam isn't here doesn't mean you can cuss at me."
"Oh don't be such a dick head," I snapped at him, and the look that flashed across his face was very amusing.
"Not funny," he told me darkly, straightening and starting toward me. The expression on his face was no longer amusing. "And I think you're lying, by the way," he added.
My eyes went wide. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me. I think you're lying. I don't think there's anything in that car you need. You're just trying to get me out of the house so you can sneak out the back way."
For several seconds I just stood there and stared at him. "Are you insane?" I finally demanded, rather loudly. "Do you really think I'm that stupid?"
Dean shrugged. "No, not stupid. Just stubborn and wild."
"Dean…that doesn't even make sense! Why would I sneak out of the house by myself? Sam would go ballistic on my butt if I did! I've already experienced that, thank you very much! I don't need another reminder!"
Dean stopped and stared at me for a moment, and then a smile spread across his face. "Go ballistic on your butt, huh?" he said, still grinning. "That's a new one. I like that. I'll have to remember that one."
"Geez, you can be so annoying!" I told him, running my fingers through my hair. "I don't know how Eden stands you sometimes!
Dean shrugged again. "It's just a part of my charm, sweetheart."
I snorted, but decided to let that comment pass by. "Look, are you going to go get my bag or not?"
"Not," he replied casually.
"Why not?" I nearly shrieked at him.
"Because I don't trust you!" he growled back at me. "You're planning something. And I gotta say, it's a pretty weak plan so far. You need a pink bag out of the car? Come on, surely you can do better than that."
"It's true, Dean! I really do need it!" I insisted, feeling my temper start to spike dangerously.
"Why?" he snapped. "What's in it that you suddenly need so badly?"
Okay, I had had enough. Screw being embarrassed. "TAMPONS!" I shouted at him. "TAMPONS, TAMPONS, TAMPONS!"
A sharp, ringing silence filled the entry hall for many, many seconds. The angry look had slipped off Dean's face to be replaced by a look of horror. And suddenly I was the one who was smiling. He found this more uncomfortable than I did! Ha! It was wonderful to see Dean suddenly squirming and not meeting my eyes.
"Okay!" he said, his voice a bit higher than usual. "I'll go get your bag." And with that he pulled out his keys and practically ran out of the house, leaving me to stand there laughing my head off. Minutes later he returned, still looking horrified, holding my pink bag between his thumb and forefinger as though he were holding something awful. The sight sent me into another fit of hysterics, because here was the almighty hunter of all things supernatural and disgusting, which never seemed to bother him, yet he couldn't carry a pink bag with tampons in it without looking freaked out. It was just too good, and I kept laughing. Dean glared at me as he came in and closed the door and then he shoved the bag at me.
"That is not funny!" he snapped. "It's not…stop laughing!" he demanded. But I couldn't help it. "You know, I don't think you'll find it very funny when I tell Sam what you did," he added, and I have to admit, that stopped the laughter right then and there.
"What are you talking about?" I asked him, feeling my heart pick up speed. "I didn't do anything wrong!"
"Oh no? Who was it that called me a dick head?"
I flinched. "Okay, I shouldn't have done that," I admitted. "I'm sorry, okay? Please don't tell Sam," I pleaded, annoyed that I had to plead with him at all.
"Nah, I think he needs to know," Dean told me casually. "Wasn't that one of his rules? No more calling Dean a dick head? I'm sure it was," he added, pretending to think.
I was willing to bet even pretending to think caused him pain. I kept that thought to myself though, and stood there looking at him with wide eyes. "Dean…please! I really am sorry, but you just got me so frustrated! You can hardly blame me!"
"But I do blame you," he said, grinning at me. "I'm telling on you, sweetheart. Deal with it."
"That's not fair!" I wailed loudly as tears sprung into my eyes. "Sam will get mad at me!"
"No joke?" Dean's eyes went wide with fake astonishment. "How about that. Hmmm. Guess you should have thought about that before you opened your smart mouth, huh?"
Aggravated beyond belief, I let out a scream of rage and desperation. "You're such an asshole, Dean Winchester!" I shrieked, unable to help myself by this point. "If you tell Sam what I said, he's going to spank me!"
"Good," Dean replied, his tone flat. "You deserve it. And guess what? He'll spank you for calling me an asshole too. Have a great afternoon," he added cheerfully, and with that he turned and walked off, leaving me standing in the entry hall as tears rolled down my cheeks.
Furious, I threw my pink bag across the room and watched as it smacked into the wall and then fell on the floor with a dull thud. As soon as it did a few tampons spilled out of the bag and rolled across the floor, one making it all the way to the front door. I made a face. Apparently the stupid bag had been open just wide enough to spill its hidden objects. Swearing, I bent and snatched up the bag and began stuffing the contents back inside. Every once in a while I paused to swipe at my streaming eyes and sniffle pitifully. Damn that Dean! Because of him I was going to get another spanking. No, you're going to get a spanking because of what you said, that irritating voice whispered in my mind.
"Oh shut up," I snapped at it as I stomped over to the door to get the tampon that had rolled over there. I snatched it up viciously, and as I did I glanced out of one of the windows beside the door. Something caught my eye, and I blinked and took a step closer.
"Ah hell," I muttered when I saw what it was. A tampon had slipped out of the bag as Dean had carried it in, and it was now resting on the ground, just a few feet away from the door step. For a moment I just stood there and stared at the little cylinder wrapped in pink plastic. If I left it there Sam would see it when he came back and pick it up. That was just too embarrassing to think about. I could call Dean back and have him get it, but damn if I was going to endure him again. Swearing again, I dropped the bag on the little table by the door and, after another moment's hesitation, very slowly and very carefully opened the door. I paused for a moment to see if Dean had heard it, and when I didn't hear him come running I turned back and looked out at the tampon lying on the ground.
You shouldn't be doing this, that little voice whispered again. I knew that of course, but still. I just could not stand the thought of Sam coming home and finding one of my tampons there on the ground. So after taking a deep breath and thinking it through one last time, I stepped forward, right into the limited space between the indoor salt line and the outdoor salt line. Right in the doorway. I stood there for another few moments and thought. Studying the tampon from where I was standing, I figured I should be able to reach the stupid little thing. And technically I wouldn't be going outside, I assured myself. I knew that was a load of crap, but I knelt down carefully anyway and stretched out my left hand toward the tampon. I quickly found that I could not reach it. Not in the position I was in.
Muttering, I shifted around until one knee was on the ground and I leaned over again, closer this time. With my right hand clinging to the door jamb, I stretched out as far as I could with my left, trying to reach my target. I still couldn't quite get there. Gritting my teeth, I leaned over even farther. My fingertips brushed the plastic wrap, and I tried to close them around the thing. Still not quite close enough. Annoyed, I made a little lunge toward it. That was my undoing. My right foot suddenly slipped out from under me. It shot back behind me, hit the line of indoor salt, and I found myself falling out the door. Wishing more than anything that I had worn jeans today instead of shorts, I winced as my bare legs slammed into the concrete door step and skidded across the outdoor salt line. I let out a little wail as I felt the large chunks of salt embed themselves in my skin.
Whimpering, I finally hit the ground. My chin bumped the hard concrete a bit, and I could feel blood suddenly run down my chin to my neck. Horrified, I stayed where I was for a few moments. Oh yeah, this was just perfect. There I was, lying in the door way with my right leg sprawled out behind me and my left leg tucked under me in a painful way. I could feel more blood oozing from the cuts on my legs, and my chin was throbbing.
Then something finally dawned on me. I had broken both of the salt lines. Though no demons could posses me and Eden, or Sam and Dean, we still didn't want any to get in the house. Gasping, I pushed myself up, grabbed the dumb tampon that had caused so much trouble, and staggered back into the house. Right next to the door was a bag of salt, and I grabbed it and began fixing the lines again, closing them. Finally it was done, though I scattered an awful lot of extra salt both outside and inside. Not caring, I pulled the door closed and stumbled back away from it. I stood there for a moment, listening, fearing Dean had heard all the commotion. But there was no sound of footsteps, and I relaxed a little. Then I looked down at my legs.
They were all scratched up with blood running down them. Moaning, I lifted my head and caught my reflection in the mirror above the entry hall table. My chin was bleeding too and swelling right before my eyes. I stood there and stared at myself and watched as my lower lip began to tremble. This was just great. Just wonderful! First I had gone and cussed at Dean and called him a dick head and an asshole. He was going to tell on me about that. And now I had gone and opened the door, went outside, which is the biggest no-no possible, and hurt myself in the process of breaking Sam's most serious rule.
My lower lip began to tremble harder as Sam's warning came back to me. From now on if you go near the front or back door, if you even open either one, there will be hell to pay. And if I ever catch you outside by yourself again, or with Eden again, for any reason other than the house is on fire or I told you to run, it will earn you an automatic spanking with my belt. No questions asked, no explanations. Just the belt.
I closed my eyes and shuddered. I was going to get another spanking with the belt. The thought alone was enough to make me start sobbing, but I held back my tears as something occurred to me, and my eyes flew open. Maybe Sam didn't have to find out. No one had seen what I'd done. I would probably still get in trouble for calling Dean those names, but at least that spanking would only be with Sam's hand. That was more than enough, but the belt would be worse. If I could avoid that, I could stand the other spanking. I flinched when I remembered how strong Sam's hand was, and how hard he could hit. Okay, so maybe I could stand that spanking.
But how would I explain the scrap on my chin? I frowned hard as I thought but nothing came to me. All I was doing was wasting time just standing there. I'd think of something later. Right now I needed to get myself moving. Trembling, I picked up my pink bag and moved as quickly as I could toward the stairs. All I had to do was make it to my room, get cleaned up, change into some pants, think of a good story to explain my chin, and everything would be okay.
I had only made it half way up the stairs when I heard the front door suddenly bang open. I froze.
"DEAN!" Sam roared. "What the hell happened?"
"Sam?" I heard Dean call back from the living room, and I heard him running to the entry hall. "What're you yellin' about? What's wrong?"
"Dean, there's blood on the door step!" Sam told him. Oh damn. I had left blood on the door step? Crap. In my panic I hadn't even thought about that. "And it looks like someone broke both salt lines and then filled them back in!" I heard Sam continue. "They were pretty messy about it too," he added. "It almost looks like someone fell out the door." Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes. Why did Sam have to be so damn good at his job? So good at putting things together?
"What?" Dean said sharply. "You're kidding me."
"I'm not Dean, look!" There was a moment of silence during which I assumed Dean was looking at the evidence.
"Well I'll be damned," I heard Dean say.
"Apparently you didn't do that," Sam said.
"What? Of course I didn't do that!" Dean replied, sounding indignant. "I don't lay salt lines down like that. You should know that. This is a mess."
"Well if you didn't do it…" Sam's voice faded off. "Was it one of the girls?" he asked next, and his tone was intense.
"Well, no, not that I know of," Dean told him, but he didn't sound sure. "Eden's in her room asleep. She's been there since before you left."
"Where's Rivan?"
"She was down here, but I guess she's not anymore. Hey, where are you going?"
"To check on Rivan." Sam told him. Stifling a gasp, I got my butt moving and made it up the rest of the steps in record time. I forced myself to move faster, despite the pain in my legs, and I made it to my room and closed the door quietly. Dropping the pink bag on my bed, I hobbled into the bathroom, grabbed a wash cloth, ran it under some cold water, and hobbled back out. I moved over to the rocking chair, sank down onto it, and slapped the cold cloth over the worst of my wounds, which were on my right leg. I'd only been sitting there for a few seconds when I realized I should have locked myself in the bathroom. But it was too late to correct the problem.
My bedroom door was suddenly shoved open and Sam came charging in. He froze when he saw me sitting on the rocking chair, my legs bloody and dripping. I froze too, watching him with wide, horrified eyes. He blinked, took in my injuries, and took a quick step toward me.
"Rivan, are you okay?" he asked me sharply as he studied the swelling lump on my chin.
I swallowed hard, unable to speak for a moment. I felt my lower lip begin to tremble again. "Yes sir," I finally answered in a whisper. Behind Sam, Dean suddenly flew into the room and stopped short, staring at me.
Sam ignored him. "Did you go outside?" he asked me quietly.
Suddenly feeling exhausted, I slumped back against the rocking chair. I opened my mouth to answer, and then all of a sudden I burst into loud, horrible sobs.
I saw Sam sigh. "Okay. I'm going to take that as a yes," he said, moving across the room. He got the chair that was sitting at the desk and pulled it over and placed it in front of me. Without looking at me he went into the bathroom and was in there for several minutes, rummaging around. While he was in there Dean, who was still standing in the middle of the room, continued to stare at me.
Finally Sam came back out, his hands full of first aid stuff and more wash cloths, some damp and some dry. He placed most everything on the floor by his chair, hung the damp wash cloths over the arms of the rocking chair I was sitting in, and then went back into the bathroom. I heard him turn the water on, and I could tell he was washing his hands. I caught a glimpse of him through the door, drying his hands, and then he came back out.
Without looking at his brother he sat down in the chair in front of me. "Let me see," he told me, reaching out to take the wet wash cloth I had slapped over my leg. Still crying, I let him take it, and for a moment he studied my injuries.
"What the hell did you go outside for?" Dean suddenly demanded, and I started to cry even harder.
"Dean," Sam said, sounding slightly harassed. "Don't worry about it right now. I've got this, okay?" Before Dean could reply I heard a door open down the hall, and seconds later Eden was in the room.
"What's going on?" she asked as she came in to stand beside Dean. Her eyes fell on me and my torn up legs, and she gasped. "Oh my God! Rivvie! What happened?"
"I fell," I moaned pitifully between my sobs. "I fell outside!"
"You fell? Oh Rivvie I…wait, you fell…outside?" she asked, her eyes going huge.
I squeezed my eyes shut and whimpered loudly. "Yes!" I wailed as I covered my eyes with my hand.
"You…you went outside?" she asked in a tiny voice, looking from me to Sam, who hadn't bothered to turn around. Oh yeah, she knew what this meant for me.
I let out a little wail as I let my hand fall from my eyes. "I didn't mean to!" I howled, completely beside myself.
"What do you mean you didn't mean to?" Dean snapped at me. "How could you not mean to go outside? Sounds like a bunch of crap to me."
Suddenly Sam whirled around in his chair to look at his brother. "Dean! Enough! You're not helping matters any by yelling at her!"
"Well what the hell am I supposed to do, Sam?" he demanded. "Yeah maybe I shouldn't be yelling at her. Because that's your job! You're the one that should be chewing her out right now! Not me! She went outside, Sam!"
"I know," Sam said as he turned back to me. "I told you, I've got this. Get Eden out of here, will you?"
"You need me to take her out of the house completely?" Dean asked, ignoring Eden's loud protests at being removed.
For a moment Sam said nothing. I knew what Dean was asking. If Sam was going to punish me for going outside, Dean needed to know so he could toss Eden in the Impala and give us some time alone, just like the last time I got spanked. I whimpered again as I looked away, waiting.
"No," Sam finally said, and I looked back at him in shock. "Not right now. Just…just, I don't know. Take her on the other side of the house or something. Or for a walk. If I need you two to leave later, I'll let you know," he added, pulling his cell phone out of his shirt pocket and holding it up for Dean to see.
For a moment Dean said nothing, and then suddenly he grabbed Eden's arm. "Fine," he snarled. "But if I were you Sam, I'd follow through with the promise you made her. If you let her get away with this, she'll never listen to you. You know that." Still ignoring Eden's loud protests, he turned and pulled her toward the door. "Oh by the way," he tossed over his shoulder as he left. "She called me a dick head and an asshole."
"That's because you are a dick head and an asshole!" Eden suddenly shrieked, which of course was a mistake. A second later Dean had her picked up and thrown over his shoulder. Eden howled and began beating on his back with her small fists, but Dean didn't pay her any attention as he stomped out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. Outside the door though, I distinctly heard a loud popping noise, and Eden started to cry. I heard Dean chewing her out as he carried her down the hall, and seconds later the sound of his voice and Eden's cries had vanished.
Now left completely alone with Sam, I looked at him and he looked up at me. As soon as his eyes met mine I started to cry again, for I could see the anger he was holding back.
"I didn't do it on purpose!" I wailed at him. "I didn't mean to! I wasn't trying to sneak outside, I swear Sam, I swear!"
"Alright," he told me, his voice calm. "Okay. Calm down. You're getting yourself worked up. You're gonna make yourself sick if you don't stop carrying on like that." He stood up then, and much to my surprise he leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. "Calm down now," he murmured softly to me. "Just calm down." He gave me another kiss, this time a quick one on the lips, and then he went into the bathroom again. From where I was sitting I could see him get one of the glasses that were in the bathroom. Yeah, we've got glasses in the bathroom. Kind of like a hotel.
Anyway, I watched as he filled the glass up with water and set it aside. He got another wash cloth and ran it under the cold water, wrung it out, and turned the water off. With the glass in one hand and the cloth in the other, he came back out and sat down in front of me again. I was still crying, but not quite as hard.
"Here," he said, handing me the glass of water. "Drink this and try to calm down." With a shaking hand I took the glass from him and slowly took a drink. Due to my crying and the fact that I had inhaled a bit of dirt when I had fallen outside I found my mouth was dry, and the cold water felt good as it went down. It soothed my throat, which felt a little sore, and I took another drink, trying hard to calm down. It was easier said than done. I knew Sam was going to spank me with his belt, and it's kind of hard to calm down when you know something like that is going to happen to you. Especially when you already knew how badly the belt hurt.
When half the water in the glass was gone and I showed no more signs of wanting any, Sam took the glass from me and set it on the desk beside me. Then he took the wet wash cloth he was still holding and very carefully and very gently he began to wipe my face off. Still not completely calm, I whimpered every now and then and sniffled. A few left over tears made their way down my cheeks, and Sam wiped them away with the wash cloth.
"Sssh," he soothed as he wiped some of the dirt from my face, and then focused on getting the blood off my neck. "Sssh. You're okay. Everything's going to be all right. Stop crying, baby."
Swallowing hard, I closed my eyes for a moment, enjoying the feel of the cool cloth and the gentleness of his voice. I opened my eyes again and looked at him. "Are you…are you going to…s-s-spank me?" I stammered out my question, which brought forth new tears.
"Don't worry about that right now," Sam told me as he gently tilted my face a little to the right so he could see my bruised chin better. "You did a pretty good job on yourself, didn't you?" he added as he sighed and looked down at my legs. Placing the cloth he had been using on my face over the arm of the rocking chair, he took the other one I'd had on my leg and very carefully began to clean the blood off.
I winced a little but did my best to hold still. "I didn't mean to do it," I said again, fighting back more tears. "Please don't spank me, Sam. Please, please don't. Don't use your belt. Please!"
"Rivan, that's enough," he told me, his tone firm now. "I'm not going to promise you anything right now. I want you to calm down now and hold still. I'm going to put some medicine on your cuts and while I do that you can tell me what happened." Encouraged by the fact that he was allowing me to explain myself, I held still and finally calmed down enough to speak normally. Or somewhat normally. My voice was soft as I told him everything, watching as he cleaned the blood from my legs, and then wincing and flinching as he began to apply the medicine.
"No, don't pull away," he said at one point when he put some medicine on a particularly nasty cut. He reached up and patted my arm gently, and then went back to doctoring my wounds. Clutching the arms of the rocking chair, I continued on, explaining how I had fallen outside. I finished my story before Sam finished with my legs, and I watched quietly as he put the last few band-aids on my many cuts.
Then without a word he reached up and began to tend to the scrape on my chin. This stung like crazy, and before I could stop myself my hand flew up and grabbed his wrist in protest. "It hurts," I told him when he looked at me with both eyebrows up.
"I know," he said. "But you need to let me do this." Sighing, I let him go and tried to be cooperative as he finished. He insisted upon putting a little band-aid on my chin when he was done and I wasn't pleased, but for obvious reasons I didn't argue. I watched him nervously as he began to throw the trash away in the little waste basket by the desk, and then he came back and sat down in his chair again. Sighing, he leaned back in the chair, but only for a moment. With a frown on his face he leaned toward me again, resting his elbows on his knees while he placed his chin on his clasped hands.
"Okay," he began, eyeing me. "Let me get this straight. You…decided to risk your life by going outside to pick up a tampon, just because you couldn't stand the thought of me coming home and seeing it out there?" His tone was a mixture of sever exasperation and anger, and I cringed.
"Well I just…I just thought…I didn't actually go outside, you know. Not all the way," I finally said, my voice growing a little stronger.
"Rivan," he said in a terrible give-me-a-break tone. "You know better. And you know I know better. According to you, you were standing in the doorway, leaning out the door. You weren't even supposed to open the door to begin with. But you did, and you were leaning out. There was more than enough opportunity for someone or something to grab you." He stared at me for a moment. "Please tell me you realize this."
I looked down at my hands, which were twisting away at the edge of my shirt. "Yes sir, I realize that," I whispered.
"And please tell me that you realize that I would rather you were embarrassed over a tampon being out in the yard than have you dragged off by God knows what."
I continued to stare at my hands, suddenly blinking furiously. "Yes sir," I said in an even tinier voice. "I know that, but—"
"But what, Rivan?" Sam cut me off. "What could you possibly have to add that would make what you did okay?"
I started to blink even faster, and I began to sniffle. "I just…I didn't mean to fall…"
"Well I should hope not," Sam said, now sounding not only exasperated and angry, but tired as well.
My lower lip started to tremble again. Damn. As I continued to stare at my hands, a tear suddenly fell from my eye and splashed onto my hand. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm so sorry, Sam."
"I know you are," he said, and I looked up to see him run a hand over his eyes. I watched, and I didn't look away when he dropped his hand and looked at me. "Is it true what Dean said?" he asked next. I blinked in confusion. "Did you call him a dick head and an asshole?" Sam clarified, his eyebrows shooting up again.
My eyes went wide and I felt a blush spread across my face. I had forgotten that Dean had told on me about that. "I…well I…I…yes sir. I did," I finally said, looking down again.
"Why?" Sam asked. "That was one of my rules. No more calling him a dick head. You got into a bad habit of doing it. I never said anything about not calling him an asshole, but I thought I made it pretty clear that you weren't allowed to call him names like that anymore. Be it asshole, dick head or whatever else might fly out of your mouth."
"You call him stuff like that," I said in my defense.
"I'm his brother, Rivan. Brothers do that sort of thing. He calls me a bitch. I call him a jerk, among other things," he added. "You don't have any right or reason to call him those things. Does he call you names?"
I was quiet for a moment. "No sir," I finally said, reluctantly. "Wait, no! He's called me a brat before," I said quickly.
"Rivan!" Sam said, almost groaning. "You know that's not the same thing." I didn't know what to say because I knew he was right, so I kept my mouth shut. We were both quiet for a few moments, and then Sam spoke. "Okay. You're going to apologize for calling him those things, and you're going to promise him that you'll never do it again. Do you understand me?"
I jerked my head up sharply, causing a pain to flare in my lower face due to the scrap I had on my chin. "What?" I half shrieked. "No! No way I'm going to tell him I'm sorry! All he'll do is gloat and lord it over me the whole time I'm—" I suddenly stopped myself in the middle of my own rant and cringed at the angry look Sam was now giving me.
He let the terrible silence sink in for a moment, and then he spoke in a quiet, scary voice. "I strongly suggest that you back off with the attitude," he told me as he stared at me. "You are in a lot of trouble already, and right now all you're doing is digging a deeper hole for yourself. Am I making myself clear, Rivan?" he asked, raising one eyebrow at me.
I bit down on my lower lip and then swallowed hard. "Yes sir," I answered softly.
"Good. Like I said, you are going to apologize to Dean and promise that you won't call him names again. Do you understand?"
"Yes sir," I said quickly, sniffling.
"Good!" Sam said, straightening and slapping his legs with his hands. "Great." He sat there for another moment and then suddenly he got up and picked up the chair he had been sitting on. I watched as he returned it to the desk, and once he had he came back to stand in front of me. He stood there with his arms crossed over his chest and stared down at me, his face dark and thoughtful. Then he spoke.
"Get up," he told me.
I looked up at him again, horrified. "No," I moaned. "No Sam, please, oh please don't spank me!"
"Get up," he repeated, and this time he held his hand out to me. Unable to control myself, I began to sob again, but I took his hand. He pulled me out of the rocking chair, gently, and away from it. Still holding my hand, he sat down in the rocking chair himself, and then pulled me toward him. Miserable, I didn't fight him but I started to cry harder. But instead of pulling me down across his lap for a spanking, he pulled me down and guided me to sit on his lap. Surprised, shocked, I sat very still as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close.
"Relax," he told me quietly as my entire body shook. "Relax. Calm down. I'm just going to hold you for a while. Sssh," he added as he encouraged me to lay my head on his chest. Once I was settled comfortably he began to rub my back and then slowly he began to move the rocking chair back and forth. All too soon the soothing motion began to make me feel drowsy, and I cuddled up closer to him, eager to feel his warmth all around me, eager to enjoy this wonderful moment of tender soothing while it lasted. I had a feeling that my troubles weren't over yet, but I was at least going to enjoy the comfort that Sam was giving me right now.
We stayed that way for quite a while, and that was more than okay with me. But all good things must come to an end, and Sam stirred a little and spoke. "You awake?" he asked me softly.
"Hmm mmm," I murmured as I stretched a little and sat up. The slight movement aggravated the cuts on my legs and I flinched, reaching down to rub them.
Sam caught my hand quickly and brought it to his lips. "No touching," he told me, and brushed his lips across my knuckles. I said nothing, and he sat there for a few minutes and watched me. "How are you feeling now, baby?" he suddenly asked me, his voice full of concern as he frowned at me.
I shrugged. "Okay I guess. Kind of tired."
"You don't feel bad?"
I shook my head. "No sir."
"Do you hurt anywhere other than your legs and chin?"
"No sir," I told him softly as I watched him.
"Hmmm," he muttered. "You're pale." Suddenly he moved, placing one arm under my knees while his other came to rest around my shoulders. He stood with me in his arms, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, a little surprised by my position. "I want you to rest for a while," he told me as he carried me to my bed. I really didn't want to but I wasn't going to tell him that. So I stayed quiet as he placed me gently on my bed. Once he had he turned and went back into the bathroom. I heard him open the medicine cabinet and then I heard him pull a bottle of pills out. Seconds later he came back out with something clutched in his hand. He walked over to the desk where he had set my glass of water earlier, got that, and then approached the bed and handed me the glass. He held his other hand, still clenched in a fist, out to me and waited.
"Aspirin," he told me when I made a face and looked at him. "You're going to need it. You'll be sore after that fall." Without a word I opened my hand and he dropped the two small pills into my palm. Quickly I popped them into my mouth and used what was left of the water to wash the pills down. I hated taking pills. Don't ask me why. It just bugs me.
When I was finally done Sam took the empty glass from me and placed it on the table by the bed. "Lay down," he told me gently, and with a soft sigh I did as I was told. There was a throw on the back of the couch and I watched as he got that and brought it over to me. He covered me with it in a sweet, tender way before leaning down and dropping a kiss on my lips. "Dinner will be in an hour," he told me as he brushed a strand of hair off of my forehead. "I want you to rest until then."
I tried real hard not to make a face at him. "Yes sir," I said with a sigh. "But I really do feel okay," I added.
"Good. But you don't need to push it right now with too much activity. Got it?"
I let out another sigh, this one deeper than the first. "Yes sir," I answered.
"Good. You're going to apologize to Dean at dinner, by the way."
Ugh. "Yes sir," I muttered.
He almost smiled at me. "Okay. If you need anything just come get me. I'll be in the kitchen." Instead of my usual "Yes sir" I merely nodded at him, because suddenly I began to feel very sleepy. I was barely aware of Sam giving me another kiss before he left the room, and before my bedroom door closed completely I was out like a light.
A/N: Well that's it for now. Seems Sam has a bit of a problem. He hesitates to spank Rivan because of her injuries and the fact that she doesn't feel well. Should he go ahead and spank her anyway? I'm curious to know what you all think, so if you have a moment let me know what you think in a review. Hope everyone liked it well enough and I'll do my best to get the next chapter up as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!