Hello hello! Thanks again for putting up with my horrendous updating habits 😅 And much thanks to all the kind comments yall left me on the previous chapter :') I made it a lengthy one for you!
Somehow, I was more anxious than angry about meeting up with Ikuto today. I had spent half the night mulling over how things could go and I was fairly certain we would be alright once we had talked things over. Most of my frustration had dissipated in the few hours I had slept and I was left wondering what would happen after we talked, and after he left. And where exactly he was planning on taking me.
"You don't have any idea?" Suu asked while I was deciding what to where.
I shook my head. "No clue, he hasn't said anything else about it since yesterday," I explained.
Miki giggled. "A secret date, how exciting."
My face warmed. "It's not a date," I countered, but I didn't sound very convincing even to myself. It wasn't a date, was it? "We're just meeting up to talk ," I clarified as I scrutinized my outfit of choice.
"Then why are you putting so much thought into your appearance?" Miki pried.
"I'm just changing my clothes!" I argued, looking over myself again. I wasn't thrilled with my shirt anymore, but I knew changing it would only fuel Miki's point, so I left it as is. I tied my hair up quickly to avoid any further comments and went downstairs. Ikuto would probably be here shortly.
"You look nice today," my mom commented when I got to the living room.
I heard Miki laugh behind me. "It's just my usual style," I said casually, lacing up my shoes on the couch.
My mom smiled. "What time are you meeting Ikuto?" She asked.
"He'll probably be here in a few minutes."
Sh nodded. "Where are you two going?"
"Hmm, I'm not sure yet. He hasn't told me."
"It must be somewhere fun if he's keeping it a secret," she giggled.
Why did everyone think it was a secret just because he hadn't told me? It's not like I had asked him about it, but I made a mental note to when he got here just to clear it up.
"Ami-chan, turn this way!" I heard my dad's voice coming from the backyard and I froze.
"Is dad still home?" I asked my mom with newfound fear. I didn't mind so much if my mom and Ikuto crossed paths, but my dad was an entirely different story.
"Yes, but he just went outside to take pictures with your sister, I'm sure he'll hardly notice if someone shows up," she assured me, but it didn't do much to help my anxiety.
There was a knock at the door a moment later that made me jump.
"Ah, I guess he's here," my mom said, standing up and heading for the door. I tailed after her, wanting to leave as as soon as possible now that I knew my dad was just a few steps away from walking inside and having a meltdown.
"Good morning, Ikuto," My mom greeted when she opened the door.
"Hello, Mrs. Hinamori," he acknowledged in turn. He peeked around her and looked at me. If he was at all nervous about today, his face didn't show it. "Are you ready to head out?" He asked.
I stepped out from behind my mom, chiding myself for feeling so apprehensive. "Yep," I tried to say nonchalantly. "Where exactly are we going?" I asked, wanting to prove to everyone that it wasn't a secret.
The corners of Ikuto's mouth twitch upwards. "You'll see when we get there," he said. My eyes widened slightly as he confirmed what both my charas and my mom had been expecting.
I saw my mom grin. "You two have fun," she said. I heard a door close on the other side of the house and I inhaled sharply.
"Midori? Is someone here?" My dad's voice called from the kitchen.
"Time to go," my mom whispered, ushering me outside and shutting the door after me. "Just one of Amu's friends, dear!" I heard her holler back.
"Oh my, was that your father?" Ikuto asked, looking like he was about to peer in through the window. I tugged on his sleeve and dragged him a few steps down the sidewalk.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," I warned him.
He followed after me down the path. "Why? You don't think your dad would like me?"
"My dad doesn't like boys as a whole," I reminded him and he just nodded.
When we got to the street I was surprised to see Aruto's car. "Did your dad drive you here?" I asked, amused at the thought of him dropping Ikuto off for our not-date.
Ikuto pulled out a pair of keys from his pocket and dangled them before me. "Nope, I drove myself."
I raised my eyebrows at him. "You know how to drive?"
"Of course, I just usually prefer to walk," he commented as he got into the driver's seat.
I sat down on the passenger side. "Does that mean we are going somewhere far?" I questioned, trying to get some hint of where he was taking me.
He smiled. "Not that far," was all he said. I glared at him, but decided I'd know soon enough.
We made idle conversation on the drive to our mystery destination, and even though the silence in between was laced with a bit of unease, I was surprised by how normal things felt for the most part. It was comforting to know things weren't completely estranged after the intensity of the other day, but knowing there would be a serious discussion on the horizon left me unable to relax.
After driving for about twenty minutes, I vaguely started to recognize where we might be headed. "Are we going to the aquarium?" I questioned.
"Ah, I've been found out," he said as he turned down a street that couldn't really have lead anywhere else.
"Why did you want to keep that a secret?" I asked.
He just shrugged. "I thought it would be more fun that way," he explained. I pursed my lips. Perhaps he thought having this conversation in a more lighthearted place would make it less difficult.
I sighed. I guessed I would have to be the one to bring it up. "Did we come here to have fun or talk about the other night?" I asked reluctantly, wishing it was possible to ignore the latter and focus on the fun aspect.
He turned into the parking lot, appearing to weigh my words. "I thought we could try to do both," he said, briefly glancing at me. "If things go well, then we have a fun day ahead of us," he said, and it sounded like he was struggling to keep his tone unconcerned. "And if they don't," he added, but let the thought die.
I stared at him intently. Did he really think things could go that terribly? As angry as I had been two nights ago, I wasn't sure there was anything he could do to push me away that far. "How do you think this is going to go?" I blurted out before I could keep the question to myself.
He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I've kept a lot of secret from you in the past, Amu. I wouldn't blame you if you got sick of being around the person who has put you in the situation time and time again," he confessed.
I couldn't believe how much worse he'd managed to twist this in his mind. Even if he was right about it to a point, I knew he'd grown enough to not make a habit out of it. "Ikuto…" I found myself wanting to reassure him, but I knew if I did now, we'd end up skipping over other things that needed to be said, so I bit my tongue. "Let's just get inside and go from there," I said, trying not to sound overly exasperated.
He seemed to resign to that as he pulled into a parking spot. "We could always go somewhere else, if you don't want to go here," he proposed.
I shook my head. "No, this is fine. It's been a while since I've been here," I told him. And I was starting to think that being in a cheerful place like this might be more important than I originally thought.
He turned off the car and started getting out. "I haven't been here since you stole my key and I had to hunt it back down," he said, his expression no longer so somber, to my relief.
I got out and shut the door. "Hey! That wasn't my fault, that was Yoru's," I said defensively.
For a moment his eyes were nostalgic. It had probably been a while since he'd talked about him. "Yeah, but you fed into his troublesome nature," he remarked with a slight smile.
We walked up to the ticket booth at the front, but Ikuto pulled two pieces of paper out of his pocket and waved them at me. "I already bought them," he said.
"How sweet," Suu commented quietly. I elected to ignore her.
"You didn't have to do that," I said, following him into the entrance. That made it seem more like a date.
He gave the tickets to someone at the front and turned to face me. "'Thank you, Ikuto. That was very nice of you,' would also do," he said before walking inside.
I flushed at his comment, walking quickly to catch up with his strides. "Well, thanks," I muttered.
"Of course," he responded casually. "So, where did you want to go first?" he asked.
This felt so unusual. If the situation had been different, I would have been beyond nervous to be at a place like this with him, but there was that nagging at the back of my mind reminding me what we were here for and that was keeping me grounded. "I'm fine with just walking around for a bit," I said. There really wasn't much else to do here besides look at the exhibits when you weren't hunting down x-eggs or chasing after troublesome characters. Although somewhere between here and the entrance, Ran, Mki, Suu, and Dia had flown off on their own, so I'd be hunting them down later.
"Works for me," he said.
We began to aimlessly wander through the aquarium, stopping briefly at each tank to examine whatever life was in it, and then moving on. The last time I had been here, I didn't really get a chance to look around as much as I would have liked, and I couldn't help but be childishly fascinated by all the incredible and strange creatures they had.
"Woah, is that a shark?" I said, stopping when we got to a large glass hallway where the fish could swim right over our heads.
Ikuto chuckled beside me. "That's three sharks," he said, gesturing a bit behind the first one, where two more were following right after it.
I watched them as they passed. "I wonder how they keep them from eating the entire exhibit," I asked, but Ikuto didn't appear to have an answer for me and moved on.
The room beyond the transparent hallway must have been a new addition because I would have remembered seeing something like it when I was here last time. It was a stark change coming from the bright exhibit to this darkened room. The only source of light came from about a dozen or so cylinder tanks that were in rows across the room, extending from the floor to the mirror covered ceiling. Each tank was illuminated with either a blue, purple, pink, or orange light and it gave the exhibit and otherworldly feel to it, almost like we were deep beneath the ocean's surface with only scant rays of a sunset breaking through the water. I walked forward and examined the contents of the tank and realized they were filled with jellyfish, each one appearing to contain a different species. I was beaming as I took it all in.
"Did you know that they built this?" I asked Ikuto, but when I turned around to face him, he wasn't there. I spun around and met only the eyes of strangers. I guess I must have lost him when I bee lined over to the first tank, I thought. I backtracked to the doorway and looked around for him there, but still couldn't see him. The dimness of the room wasn't as appealing when you were trying to look for someone. I weaved in and out of the first few rows of tanks, periodically stopping to look at the most peculiar looking jellyfish, and after a few minutes I spotted him absentmindedly reading a sign at the east wall of the room.
"Where did you get off to?" I asked when I was within range of him.
He turned his attention to me when I hollered. "I was just wandering around since you seemed to be on a mission," he explained, returning to examining something on the display.
I crossed my arms. "You could have wandered with me," I pointed out.
He shrugged. "I didn't feel like trying to keep up," he said without looking at me.
I frowned at him. It seemed like he was descending back into that negative headspace I had glimpsed when we were driving over here. Letting out a sigh, I pulled my phone from my bag and went to the camera. From where Ikuto was standing, the lighting from the display and the tank his right was casting a him in a blue and purple glow and it almost made him look like a model with that overly pensive gaze of his. Angling my phone properly, I snapped a picture of him, hoping such a forward act might bring him out of his slump.
At the very least, it caught his attention. "Did you just take my picture?" He asked, almost smiling.
"The lighting is really cool in this room," I told him.
"I see," he said with a nod, but no sly comment, to my disappointment.
I huffed at him but he either ignored it or didn't notice. "We should take a picture together," I suggested.
Still, not even the hint of an amused smirk. But he agreed to it nonetheless. I directed him over two a spot in between a blue and pink tank and snapped a portrait of us. Despite the negative atmosphere, I still managed to muster up a smile. Ikuto on the other hand was merely pursing his lips, and not in a happy way.
"You could try to look happier," I complained, reaching the end up my patience with him.
Ikuto just shrugged. "At least the lighting looks cool," he said, meandering over to a nearby placard. That comment pushed me over the edge. He said he wanted to come here to have fun, but he was making it just the opposite by acting like this.
"Hey!" I finally snapped at him, and that seemed to catch his attention, along with a few bystanders. "You said you wanted to come here so we could enjoy ourselves and talk, and right now we are not doing either of those," I told him. "I know we still need to talk, but right now I want to have fun spending time with you, not watch you mope around the exhibits." He seemed a little startled by my assertiveness, so I kept it going. I pulled out my phone and showed him the time. "It's twelve thirty right now. You have to stop being so depressing for the next thirty minutes, at least. You being stuck in some self-deprecating mindset isn't helping anything so just put all those negative thoughts aside for half an hour, please," I requested. He looked like he was debating it, so I added, "For me?" For good measure. That seemed to do it because he sighed and that alone seemed to release some of the tension from his face.
"Fine, you've worn me down," he conceded with slight smile that seemed genuine enough.
"Good. Now, I saw most of the exhibit while I was looking for you so I'm ready to move on if you are," I said.
He gestured towards the door. "Lead the way."
I felt much more at ease as we walked up a stairway from the jellyfish room. When we got to te next exhibit I had to squint at the sudden change of lighting. This room was as bright as it was outside with a sizable rocky enclosure at the center. There were a lot of people laughing and chattering in the room, but over all the noise I heard a distinct sound that could not have been anything other than…
"Penguins?!" I blurted excitedly. "Since when have they had penguins here?" I turned to Ikuto, who was looking much livelier now.
He appeared to be trying to conceal a grin, which only made me happier. "They've always had this exhibit, it's on their sign at the entrance," he explained.
"Really? I must have missed it," I said. "Come on, let's get a closer look," I urged him to follow me, but for half a heartbeat I almost started reaching for his hand.
We made our way to the edge of the open cage where one of the handlers was feeding sardines to a group of very vocal birds. I was almost expecting them to start ganging up on her to get her to dump the bucket on the ground, but they waited their turns, albeit impatiently. She was also offering fish to people collected around the edge of the tank so that they could throw them to the penguins. It probably also helped her keep some of them away from her for a few seconds, I noted with amusement. Eventually she passed one to me and a group of chubby birds waddled in my direction and started squawking at me expectantly. I giggled to myself. They were more keen towards sardines than Yoru ever was. Trying to keep a straight face, I offered the fish to Ikuto.
He shook his head. "It's all yours to throw," he declined.
I waved the fish around by its tail. "I was asking if you wanted it," I clarified, jokingly appealing to his catlike tendencies. He looked momentarily confused but I saw the correlation dawn on him after a moment. His face fell and he looked annoyed but mildly entertained.
"No," he said bluntly with the beginnings of a grin.
I laughed out loud and tossed the sardine into he tank, one of the penguins snatching it right out of the air with practiced ease.
We walked around the edge of the room and found a cluster of penguins happily skidding down a slide at the top corner of the enclosure. I clasped a hand over my mouth, overwhelmed.
"They're like little kids," I whispered fondly but winced when one made a particularly loud sound. "And as loud as them," I added, rubbing my ear. I looked at Ikuto and was surprised to see him just staring at me with an endearing smile. I blinked and cleared my throat. "Are you ready to go to the next room?" I asked, not prepared for that kind of expression when just a little while ago he was captain sadness.
"Sure," he said, stepping ahead of me, and I tailed after him.
The next room wasn't as exciting as the penguins, but it was extensive and filled with all sorts of exotic fish. As we roamed the exhibit, we came to a tank that had a school of lanky indigo fish and the first thought that came to my head made me laugh.
"What?" Ikuto asked, looking puzzled.
I pointed to the group of fish I had been looking at. "Those ones back there look like you," I said, trying to suppress a grin.
He looked perplexed, but he was wearing a crooked smile. "How do those look like me?"
"They're blue and skinny," I pointed out.
He rolled his eyes at me. "Good to know those are the two words you associate with my appearance most," he said, then he peered around the tank. "Well, then that one looks like you," he said, pointing to an ugly pink fish at the back of the tank with two strange looking horns protruding from its head.
"What!" I said, getting ready to hit him but he was already walking off to the next exhibit.
I caught up to him as he was peering at the last glass in the hallway. A school of yellow fish with black masks swam by. "Looks like this is it," he said.
His tone was more somber than it should have been if he had simply been regarding the last tank at the aquarium. I glanced around and saw a clock on the far wall read that it was a few minutes after one. I guessed he meant there was no more putting this conversation off.
There were only a few people in this part of the building, and there was an unoccupied bench at the end of the hall. I walked over to it and sat down and he slowly did the same. We were both silent for a while. Although I had initially planned to let him do most of the talking, after hearing him speak so seriously when we first arrived, I felt compelled to clear up my side first.
"So," I started, and saw him look over to me. I sighed. "The other night I kind of went off and maybe let my emotions speak too much for me. After thinking things over, I realized that you were in a tough spot. I'm sure you spent a lot of time worrying over how to tell me you were leaving, but you still shouldn't have kept it from me for as long as you did. Learning that you were hiding that from me honestly hurt worse than knowing you were leaving. I felt like after everything we've been through… I thought you would have trusted me more," I paused for a moment. "I don't expect you to share every single aspect of your life with me all the time. It's normal to want to keep certain things to yourself, but something like that was important for me to know, maybe not as soon as you found out, but at least soon after, you know? Because this wasn't something that affected just you," I tried to explain as objectively as I could.
Ikuto's expression was very serious as he took in my words. I decided I should say something to alleviate the air a bit. "I've mostly gotten over it, but if you ever pull something like this again, you're gonna end up on my mom's bad side," I added in a lighter tone. As I had hoped, his worry lined face softened.
"You told your mom about what happened?" He asked, sounding both guilty and slightly amused.
I crossed my arms. "I consulted her a bit about it, yes," I replied.
"I see," he nodded thoughtfully. "Well, even so, I should have figured out a better way to explain it to you. Having you find out from my dad was… It wasn't okay for me to hide it from you just because I was afraid of seeing you hurt, especially since that ended up just making it worse than it could have been. I should have trusted you to be able to handle it, because I know you are strong enough to deal with these sorts of things. I just wish I had been strong enough to be honest with you about it from the beginning," he explained and the intensity of his words made my face heat up.
"Well, as long as you understand that now," I said, not knowing what else to say to that. I glanced at him and saw something in his eyes that hinted he wasn't finished.
"From now on, I promise I'll make more of an effort be completely honest with you," he continued. "I love you, Amu. You know I do, and the last thing I want to do is leave you again, but it's important for me to do this, and to embrace this part of myself. Do you understand?" He finished, fixing me with a steady gaze.
I stared back at him, feeling my face turn a deeper shade of red. I had not been prepared for him to say something like that so abruptly. I turned away from him, feeling overwhelmed. "O-of course, you have to follow your heart, so I understand," I replied nervously.
Ikuto leaned over and rested his chin against his hand, angling his face to look at me. "Hmm, but my heart is also telling me to stay here with you," he said, giving me a calculating look.
"Well you can't do both, so you have to pick one," I stumbled out, his sudden confession dissolving any remaining anger I might have been holding onto.
Ikuto sat up, still looking at me. "What do you think I should do?" He questioned.
"Huh?" I asked, unsure of what he meant.
"Do you think I should go or stay here?" He clarified.
I was surprised by his question. "Why are you asking me that?"
"I value your opinion," he said matter-of-factly.
Did he really want to know what I thought? Would it somehow change his mind? I looked at my knees as I considered it. I was upset that he was leaving again, and I would have been happy if he stayed, but in my heart I knew I couldn't ask him to do that. It wouldn't be fair. As I was right now... Even if I was confident enough in my feelings for him, I knew that I wasn't sure enough of myself to even think about the prospect of being in something as serious as a relationship. As much as it pained me to think about, I knew it was better for him, for both of us really, if he left. It was like Dia had said, perhaps we both needed to grow before we could be together. It would be hard being away from him, but if it would be better for both of us in the end, I was sure it would be worth it.
I finally looked back at him. "I think you should go. Even though I'll be a little lonely while you're gone, you're on a journey to discover yourself and follow your dreams. What kind of person would I be if I tried to hold you back from that?" I answered, happy to have come to that conclusion myself.
He looked at me with an awestruck expression that faded into a smile so sincere it made my heart skip. "Thank you," he said.
I looked at him, wondering what was going through his mind. I decided I may as well ask him, while we were putting everything on the table. "You're wearing a stupid grin, what are you thinking about?"
"Having your support means more than you know," he said. I had a feeling it was more than that but I didn't press. I placed my hands on my knees, not sure where to go from here.
"So when do you leave exactly?" I asked.
"The day after tomorrow," he replied, sadness and anticipation mingling in his tone. "It's hard to believe it's happening so soon."
I rolled my eyes. "Imagine how I feel," I said, but there was no bitterness as I spoke those words. Ikuto shot me a worried look, but I waved it off. "Are you and your family doing anything special tomorrow before you go?"
"Not really, but I think the Tadase and his parents may be coming over for dinner. Why?"
I shrugged. "Just curious," I replied. A part of me wanted to spend more time with him before he left, but I'd feel bad about imposing on his family.
"Well, you are welcome to come over too, if you'd like," he offered casually, but I thought I glimpsed some expectancy in his eyes.
I smiled, relieved by the invitation. "I think I could probably swing by for a little while," I said non committedly.
"You think? You don't want to see me the day before I leave?" He pouted, even though I was sure he knew I fully intended to go.
I crossed my arms at him. "Just let me know what time to go over and I'll be there," I rephrased and he looked pleased at that.
"Great," he said, then he stood up and offered me his hand. "Are you ready to head back?"
I blinked at him and turned my attention to his outstretched hand. Of course I wanted to take it, but the thought of reaching out and grabbing it made my heart flutter. Thankfully, I didn't have to make the decision myself, because after a few painfully long moments Ikuto leaned over a took my hand himself, lifting me off the bench. "Come on, I don't want to be here until they close," he teased. I frowned as I followed after him but I didn't say anything, happy enough to just be holding his hand.
We backtracked through the exhibits without lingering for too long at any of them until we got back to the jellyfish room.
"Wait," I stopped Ikuto from walking any farther. My hand slipped out of his and I instantly missed its warmth. "You owe me a picture here. That one from earlier was terrible," I told him.
"I suppose I do," he replied. We found the spot where the pink and blue tanks were and took a much more cheerful picture. I would need to collect all the photos I could before he was gone.
"Is that one going to be your new wallpaper?" Ikuto questioned with a smirk. I rolled my eyes at him, getting ready to start towards the exit again when I remembered that Ran, Miki, Suu, and Dia were still roaming the aquarium somewhere.
I let out a sigh. "We have to hunt down my charas before we leave," I said reluctantly.
Ikuto peered around the exhibit and then pointed to a spot near the door. "They're over there."
"What?" I said. Sure enough, they were making faces in an orange tank on the other side of the room. "How did you know where to look?" I asked.
Ikuto let out a laugh. "They've been following us the entire time, you didn't notice?"
My mouth fell open a bit and then I groaned into my hands, feeling the heat radiating from my cheeks. "I should have guessed as much."
I felt a hand on my back push my gently forward. "Come on, let's got gather them up and you can decide what to do with them," Ikuto said.
After collecting my charas up and nearly drowning them when they laughed at my expense, we left the aquarium. Ikuto drove me back to my house, the drive free of the tension the ride there had been laced with. When we pulled up outside my house I saw Ikuto getting ready to get out of the car.
"You don't have to walk me to the door," I told him, worried my dad might be lurking around somewhere.
Ikuto gave me a curious look. "You really don't want me to meet your dad, do you?" He guessed.
"It's not that I don't want you to meet him, I just don't want him to meet you," I explained as I unbuckled myself.
Ikuto shook his head. "One of these days he's going to have to."
"But not today," I said, opening the door and swinging me legs out. "Um, thank you for today, by the way," I added as I stood up. "I'm glad it worked out like it did."
Ikuto gave me a genuine smile that shifted into a more devious one after a pause. "It was a fun date," he said.
My charas cackled behind me as a I blushed. "I-I'll see you tomorrow," I stammered out before shutting the door with unnecessary force. I could hear him laughing through the glass before he sped off, leaving me frazzled on the sidewalk. I scratched at my head. "Jeez, he's already back to joking around," I muttered.
"I don't think he was joking, Amu-chan," Suu said with a small grin.
I started towards my front door not knowing what to think. Had it really been a date?
I walked inside and saw my mom reading a magazine on the couch. "I'm home," I said, unlacing my shoes.
"Welcome back," she said with a smile. "How was your date?" She asked in a softer voice.
I hadn't decided yet if I was going to deny it was a date or tell her how it actually went before I heard the sound of my dad exclaim hysterically from somewhere else in the house. I stared wide-eyed at my mom. "Why would you say that out loud?" I whispered harshly.
My mom looked apologetic as she said, "I thought he was upstairs with your sister."
I stood rigidly next to the couch as my dad entered them room. "You were on a date?" He asked, looking heartbroken and exasperated all at once.
I waved my hands and opened my mouth to deny it, but once again I was interrupted, this time by Ami. "Were you with Ikuto-niisan?" She asked excitedly.
"Ikuto? Midori, isn't that the older boy you told me about?" My dad turned to my mom with a devastated expression. If I hadn't been in this situation, I would have been curious to know when my mom had mentioned Ikuto to him.
My mom tried to wave off his concern but I could tell even she was unsure if she would be able to throw him off. "I was only teasing her, honey. The two of them went out with some of their other friends," she lied and I quickly built off of it.
"Utua, Ikuto, and I went to the movies together! We were just hanging out," I added to the deception.
"Amu-chan, he's so old, please, my heart couldn't bare it," he said over dramatically, leaning against the couch for support.
"I promise it wasn't a date," I feebly reassured him. I felt a little bad for lying, but since my mom had gotten me into this situation I didn't feel that bad.
He looked like he didn't quite believe me, but he seemed to have accepted defeat for now. He muttered something incomprehensible as he went back to what he was doing in the other room, Ami tailing after him. I prayed to whatever powers that be that she didn't say anything to undermine me anymore than my mom just had.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly, putting her hands together.
I let out a long sigh, glad that the chaos was short lived. "It's fine, and it was fine," I said, addressing her previous question. "We went to the aquarium and we talked everything out, so that's a lot of stress off my shoulders. And tomorrow his family and Tadase's are having dinner together, so I was probably going to go to that if that's okay," I asked.
My mom smiled. "I'm glad to hear it. Please give Ikuto my best wishes if I don't see him again before he leaves," she said. I told her that I would and went up to my room.
"What a day," I sighed, letting my hair down.
"It seemed like it went well though, considering how things were just a couple days ago," Miki pointed and I agreed with her as I dropped onto my bed.
"I'm relieved everything is back to normal," Suu said contentedly.
I wished I could have agreed with that, too, but I couldn't. Even though Ikuto and I had thankfully managed to work out our issues without too much trouble… He was still leaving. In two days. And then what would happen? I knew that it was best for him to go because it was what would make him happiest, and that meant everything to me. It didn't stop it from hurting though. My heart clenched at the thought of him being gone again. I had grown so accustomed to seeing him all the time this summer and readjusting to his absence was going to be hard even with school starting soon to distract me. And how long was he going to be gone for? I had to remember to ask him that tomorrow.
What would happen once he left? What if the distance proved to be too much and he forgot about me? Or found someone else? It didn't happen last time so it seemed unlikely, but the future was so uncertain, especially with him being so far away. I didn't even know where he was going this time! I'd have to ask him that, too. Maybe I should write down a list of questions that need answering.
"Is everything okay, Amu-chan?" Dia's voice disrupted my runaway train of thought.
"Just the uncertainty of the future eating away at me again," I muttered. My relief from earlier had been so fleeting.
"What are you worrying about?" She asked.
Everything. But that was too much and too ambiguous to drop on them. "I just wish things were easier," I settled on.
Dia tilted her head. "Things will get easier, and they'll also get more difficult," she reassured me in an oddly discouraging way. "Remember what your mom said when you first told her about your feelings for Ikuto? 'Even if everything seems complicated now, you're still so young.' You have all the time in the world to figure things out, Amu-chan. You shouldn't try to will it to happen faster than it is supposed to. Wish as you may that things were easier, this is how life is going to be right now, and it's better to follow it than wonder what could have been," she explained thoughtfully.
I vaguely remembered that conversation with my mom, and it made me feel a little better. "I just can't help but think of everything we are going to miss out on by being apart again," I added.
"Then you gotta try to squeeze in what you can while you can!" Ran said.
"But without rushing it," Dia reminded.
"That sounds about right," I complained at their contradictory advice.
"You could tell him how you really feel," Ran suggested.
"A confession before you part ways would be quite a romantic scene," Miki pointed out.
I blushed at the thought. You'll tell me when you're ready. Those words Ikuto had spoken at the beginning of summer rang in my ears again unbidden. Was I ready to tell him? And tell him what exactly? Saying something like 'I love you' seemed too intense, even if in my heart I felt it. So what was there to say?
"How do I tell someone I love them without actually saying that I love them outright?" I asked, not sure that any of them would have an answer for me.
"You could show him," Miki cackled. I looked at her and she was making a kissy face at me.
I glared at her and resisted the urge to throw something in her direction. "Absolutely not."
"You could write him a letter," Suu proposed. "We could help you!"
"After the last time I let you guys help me write something to the person I liked? That's also gonna be a no," I said, cringing as I thought back to the sappy love note they had written to Tadase for me.
"Hmm, maybe you could just tell him you care about him and you are confident in those feelings? That seems pretty close to an 'I have feelings for you'," Ran offered.
I weighed her suggestion. It actually sounded like a pretty reasonable way to go about telling him, so long as he didn't ask me to specify those feelings.
"I think I might try to do that," I replied.
"This should be exciting to watch," Miki commented.
"I have half a mind to leave you all at home with Ami after what the four of you pulled today," I threatened. The look on their faces assured me they'd be on their best behavior, but that was always prone to changing with the four of them. But at the very least I'd come to my own conclusion.
Tomorrow I'd make my feelings known.
Yay! I'm so excited to be moving on to the lighter parts of this story. Drama is fun but fluff will be a nice change ^_^ I only have two chapters left that are actually plotted out, which is a little scary because after that I'm gonna have to sit down and plan out the second half of this story :|
I also apologize for the pacing of this chapter... Once again, I felt as thought I was rushing some parts and over extending the others. But thank you once again for reading! See you soon :)