Just Another Day At The Office
The Sequel-TO THE EXTREME Revenge of the Sue
Chapter one
Riker rolled over in his bed. There was a lump of a woman next to him, who was, in fact, the ship's head medical office, Beverley Crusher. He curled his body around hers and smelled her hair. At least she always smelled nice. They had ended up seeing each other at least once a week, argued, and then end up in bed with another. The walk of shame would start in the next moment or two, when she realized what she had, yet again, done. Riker didn't really care. Women were women. Except Troi. She was the one that got away. She was getting better at the whole, being a lover thing. It was still like making love to a dead fish.
"Am I better?" Crusher asked mumbling into the pillow.
"Like a Catfish," and of course he had a shit eating grin, "That died a horrible death."
"I hate you."
"Is that why you come back for more? I mean, you have move up to two visits a week now. Captain," Riker stretched his arms out to pop his back. "Is clearly blind. He has no idea that we-"
"Are nothing, you pig." She said, getting up out of bed, and getting dressed in a hurry.
"Oh, so all the sex is just-"
"You are a real asshole, you know that right?"
"And you love it." She threw his jacket at him, and began to storm into his bathroom. All part of the walk of shame. All part of the way it always played , Riker never liked to cuddle. "You still seeing the captain for breakfast?"
"FUCK YOU!"
"I am ready for round two."
"You!"
"Oh Bev, don't be that way! You know I love it when you play the fish! It's the best part!" He called after her.
"What the hell does that make you then? A fucking necrophilia addict?" She shouted over the sonic shower.
"Such harsh words."
"Oh right you're just a sex addict so you'll fuck anything. What competition do to I have to be your bed partner? Maybe you think a power conduit is sexy enough for you?"
He had entered the bathroom and debated joining her in the shower. "Oh, but it won't be as firey as you."
"Fuck you." Riker had the feeling that he if joined her, she would scratch his eyes out. And he was turned on again. Damn my raging limbo.
"You are so sexy when mad." He was giving her that smile. She could feel it through the glass.
"Really?"
"No,"I lie. I so lie. Riker began to tapped the glass of his shower. "But I need you out of there, I need to shower before my shift."
"YOU ARE A PIG!" She shouted.
"YOU LOVE IT!" He matched her volume. She opened the door and stared at him, long and hard. Right as she was about to pull him into the shower, Riker's com went off.
"Commander," It was Data. I am going to take him apart. Riker thought to himself. "Riker, there has been indent with Ensign Mary Anne Sue Emily Lizzy Johnson, in science lab 6. We request your presence."
"Very well Data." He said, "Riker out." He looked at Crusher, "Well, duty calls. And it is hot duty."
"ARG!" She slammed the shower door shut.
"What?" Riker called as he went to change.
"I wanted-Never mind. You ruined it. Go see that Hussy."
"You are just mad she has a better rack than you!" He called, as he finished dressing and heading to Science lab 6.
The Lab was in a bit of chaos, as all the men who had been in a three room radius were surrounding Ensign Mary Anne Sue Emily Lizzy Raven Johnson, who was holding on to her wrist. Data was in the corner of the room, and Riker could have sworn that he would have looked annoyed, if he could. The only male in the room that wasn't looking at Ensign Mary Anne Sue Emily Lizzy Raven Diana Johnson was Ensign Ricky. Huh, Riker thought, Must be gay.
"Well, what happened?" Riker asked Data.
"Ensign Mary Anne Sue Emily Lizzy Raven Diana Donna Johnson, was looking at the artifacts she got from the away mission when," Data looked like he couldn't be more bored, which seemed to be the standard look for him. "They reacted to her. She started holding her wrist and-"
"Tried to get me to look at it. Then all the men showed up." Ensign Ricky finished.
"Okay any idea why they showed up?" Riker asked.
"No. It is not like they are actually helping." Data answered, "Can you get them to leave now?"
"Fine. I will clear them out and then we will talk to her."
"Great..." Data said, rolling his eyes.
Riker clapped his hands together, "Alright Ensigns, I need you all to clear out that are not involved with what happened with Ensign Mary Anne Sue Emily Lizzy Raven Diana Donna Lee Johnson." The large group of Ensigns turned on Riker, murder in their eyes. Dammit. "I mean, someone should get her some ice." The large group of males looked at each other, then rushed out of the room.
Riker looked at Ensign Mary Anne Sue Emily Lizzy Raven Diana Donna Lee Lucy Johnson and looked into her perfect face, and her perfect Blue eye like a warm summer day and her dreamy green eye like a forest lost in a thunder storm, "Now tell me what happened?"
"I was looking through the artifacts when a little spider bit me," Ensign Mary Anne Sue Emily Lizzy Raven Diana Donna Lee Lucy Lily Johnson said with her voice sounding like a bird singing during a beautiful sunrise, "I hope it's not radioactive."
"I doubt it is, Ensign Johnson," Captain Picard said, entering the lab, "Though you would remember that scanning the artifacts before walking around the ship with them is part of your duties." Ensign Anne Johnson looked down at her perfect hands, the left the one with a perfect pulsing spider bite. "You should get to sick bay, and have it looked at."
"Yes sir," Ensign Anne Lily Johnson meekly said sounding like a sweet singing mouse as she walked to the door, "Bye Ensign Ricky."
"Whatever," Ricky went back to work. He seemed to be glad to see Ensign Anne Lily Diana Johnson go.