Chapter Eleven

Carlisle had heard the distaste in my voice. Perhaps that won't be necessary. Let's see what happened, shall we? It sounds like I have a patient to check on.

"Please," I found myself say, "I'm worried that I hurt her.". His face had then brightened up and he ran his fingers through his hair. His hair wasn't much lighter than his eyes but I could tell the difference. He then laughed.
It's been an interesting day for you, hasn't it? In his mind I could see the irony and humour. He was right. In the parking lot when I skidded to save Bella, I had turned from a killer to a protector. But the funny thing was that she needed to be protected from her protector. There was a new edge to my laugh that I couldn't actually understand or read.

I had waited alone in Carlisle's office for an hour, the longest hour of my life. I had spent the time listening to the thoughts of the hospital patients and staff. Tyler-the driver- looked worse than Bella. He had a bandage around his forehead-You could practically see the blood, even in human sight- and he had to use crutches. I guess I was too focused on Bella that I forgot about his injuries until the very end. Bella had just get her X-ray. Carlisle kept to the background because he had to trust the PA's results that she only had been slightly injured. One glance at him, he would remind Bella of me. She would know something was off about my family since she can pick up things more easier and faster than normal humans. She had a willing partner to talk with, though she didn't like that fact. Tyler was consumed by guilt and kept apologising to her. He couldn't get over the fact that he almost killed her. I could see through his mind that Bella's eyes wished he could stop. He couldn't see that but why? There was a tense moment when he had asked her how she had gotten out of the way so fast. I had to wait for her answer and I didn't breathe.

"Um…" He heard her say. She had paused for so long that Tyler thought that the question had confused her. Of course, he would think that. He thought that she had some short-term memory loss. "Edward pulled me out of the way.", I exhaled. Then my breath spiked up at the thought of her saying my name. I like the way it sounds- even through Tyler's eyes, it sounded perfect. I just wanted to hear her say my name in person…
"Edward Cullen," She had said when Tyler didn't realize who she had spoken of. I found myself at the door with my hand on the knob. My desire to see her had grown at an expense. I had to remind myself of self-control. I was too eager.
"Cullen?" Huh. That was weird. "I didn't see him." I could sworn… "Wow, it was all so fast, I guess. Is he okay?".
"I think so. He's here somewhere, but they didn't make him use a stretcher.".

I saw the suspicion in her eyes tighten. These little changes didn't seem to bother Tyler, actually, he hadn't noticed it. She's pretty, he thought, Even all messed up. Not my usual type, still… I should take her out. Make up for today…

I was at the hallway by then, halfway to the emergency room. I hadn't realized I had done it until then. I had done it without thinking, by reflex. Luckily, the nurse had gone in before I had. Bella had to get her X-ray done. I hid in a dark corner and kept really still with no breathing. It was easy enough. I had to hide many times in my life so this was no different. I watched as they wheeled her away. It didn't matter that Tyler had thought she was pretty, but it did. I had felt pain in so many ways before in more ways than one but this was new and it hurt worse. But anyone would notice she was pretty, even I did. There was no reason to feel so… so … so what exactly? What was this feeling? How did I feel? Annoyed? Angry felt somewhat closer to the truth, was it? None of this made sense to me. I had stayed in my little hiding spot but impatience had gotten the best of me. I walked around the radiology back and forth to spend the time. She had already been taken back to the ER but I had to see the results. I decided to take a peek when the nurse had her back turned. I was relieved. She was alright. I hadn't hurt her, not that bad. Carlisle had caught me there. You look better, he had thought. I looked straight ahead, there were visitors. Ah, yes, He showed me her results but I didn't, I see. She's absolutely fine. Well done, Edward.

The approval wouldn't be worth much when he found out what I was going to do. At least, if he knew my real motives…

"I think I'm going to go talk to her-before she sees you," I murmured. "Act natural, like nothing happened. Smooth it over." All acceptable reasons. He nodded as he looked at the results more closely. "Good idea. Hmm.". I had to see what kept his interest on the sheet.

Look at all the healed contusions! How many time did her mother drop her? He started to laugh at his own joke.
"I'm beginning to think the girl just has really bad luck. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Forks is certainly the wrong place for her, with you here.

I flinched at his words, ow!

Go ahead. Smooth things over. I'll join you momentarily.

I walked away quickly. I had felt guilty. I had to be too good of a liar if I could fool Carlisle. When I got to the ER, Tyler had been mumbling apologies to Bella. She was trying to escape his guilt by pretending to sleep. Her eyes were closed but her breathing was uneven.

Now and then, her fingers would twitch in irritation. I stared at her face for a long moment through the place I stood, no one could actually see me. This was the last time I would see her. That fact triggered a major aching feeling in my chest. Was it because I hated leaving a puzzle unfinished? But that didn't make any sense. Finally, I took a deep breath in and came into view. When Tyler seen me he started to speak but I put my index finger over my lips to indicate him to stop talking. "Is she sleeping?" I had to ask. Bella's eyes flutter open and slowly focused on my face. They widened and narrowed in anger and suspicion. I had to play a role so I smiled at her-though I think it ended up as a smirk-and acted as if nothing had happened except the blow on her head. "Hey, Edward," Tyler began, "I'm really sorry-". I raised one hand to make him halt.
"No blood, no foul," I said. I had just realized I had made a joke and smiled widely at it. I don't have blood so he wouldn't have anything to worry about. It was amazingly easy to ignore Tyler-who was covered in blood. I never known how Carlisle did it. Wouldn't the constant temptation be… dangerous? But, now… Now I understand. If I concentrated on something else, I would hardly know it was there. The fresh blood of Tyler's held no candle to Bella's. I kept my distance from her so I sat at the foot of Tyler's bed. "So, what's the verdict?" I asked her. Her lower pushed out a bit and I could swear that her cheeks flushed really lightly in embarrassment.
"There's nothing wrong with me at all, but they won't let me go. How come you aren't strapped to a gurney like the rest of us?". Her impatience matched mine and it made me smile. I could hear father in the hallway in the distance.
"It's all about who you know," I said, "But don't worry, I came to spring you.". I watched her reaction as Carlisle came through the doors. She raised her eyebrows and blinked a few times as her mouth opened a bit. I had to groan, she had noticed the resemblance

"So, Miss Swan, how are you feeling?" He asked. He had a soothing voice that would calm down anyone, even when they had a near death experience. It had worked. But I really hadn't a clue what effect it had.

"I'm fine," She said in a quiet voice. Carlisle clipped on her results to the light board.
"Your X-ray looks good. Does your head hurt? Edward said you hit it pretty hard.". She sighed, getting attention again.
"I'm fine.". Impatience had passed in her voice, this was probably the result of Tyler's constant nagging. She then glared at me. Carlisle ran his fingers through hair on her scalp until he found a bump. I was caught off guard by the waves of emotions hitting me. I knew that Carlisle had worked with humans for many years. I had once assisted him in his work years ago but this was different. He was working with the girl I had revolved around but she was going to be fine. I was jealous of his self-control, knowing that he didn't care much for blood in his line of work. But there was more. I envied the difference between my father and I. He would touch the girl, gently, without any fear and could still touch her. She winced and I had twitched in my seat, I was worried. I had a role to play so I had to control it so I stayed still. "Tender?" Father asked.
"Not really." Another thing for her puzzle and my list, she was brave. She didn't like to show any sign of weakness. She was possibly the most vulnerable creature I had ever seen but she didn't want to be weak. A small laugh escaped my lips. She shot me a glare.
"Well," Carlisle said, "Your father is in the waiting room-you can go home with him now. But come back if you feel dizzy or have trouble with your eyesight at all.". Her father was here? I swept through the thoughts in the hospital and found one concealed thought, her father, definitely.
"Can't I go back to school?". Most people would pounce at the idea to skip school but this girl…

"Maybe you should take it easy today," Father suggested.
"Does he get to go to school?" Her eyes flickered over to me. Act normal… smooth things over… forget the feeling when she looks you in the eye… forget the feeling of- Aahh!
"Someone has to spread the good news that we had survived," I said.
"Actually," Carlisle corrected, "Most of the school seems to be in the waiting room. I waited for her response- her hate on attention should not disappoint me.
"Oh no!" She moaned. She had her hands on her face. I liked that I finally got it right, I'm starting to understand her. The more I fill in the puzzle, the easier it gets.

"Do you want to stay?" Carlisle asked.
"No, no!" She said quickly. She swung her legs over to the side of the mattress. She lowered her feet until it reached the ground. She staggered forwards and Carlisle caught her and steadied her. Again, envy flooded me but for another reason. "I'm fine," She said before father could say anything else. She gently let herself go from my dad but he helped her to balance.
"Take some Tylenol for the pain," He instructed.
"It doesn't hurt that bad.". Carlisle smiled as he signed her chart.

"It sounds like you were extremely lucky,". She turned her head to face me.
"Lucky Edward happened to be standing next to me," She was actually lying for me.
"Oh, well, yes," Carlisle agreed quickly. He had heard the suspicion slowly leaking into her voice.
All yours, Carlisle thought, Handle it as you seem best.
"Thanks so much," I said. It was barely audible for humans. Carlisle smiled a bit at my sarcasm.
"I'm afraid you'll have to stay with us a little bit longer," He said to looked at his bandages and his other injuries. Well, I had made a mess of things. I hadn't really thought of the aftermath properly, had I? Bella moved closer to me and wouldn't stop until she was a few inches away from me.

I remembered in all the of this mayhem that I wished she would come talk to me and she had…
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" She hissed at me. Her breath waded towards my face and I staggered back one step. Every time I was with her and smelled her scent, it had triggered my worst instincts. But, fortunately, my mind was stronger than my body. Just by a bit.

"Your father is waiting for you," I reminded her. She glanced towards Tyler and Carlisle. Tyler had no intention on paying attention to us but father was monitoring my every breath.

Carefully, Edward…

"I'd like to speak to you alone, if you don't mind." She said in a low voice. I wanted to tell her I did mind and come up with an excuse. But she didn't give me much of a choice and I knew it would have to come to this someday. I stalked out of the room and I could hear her in the background to try and keep up with me. I had to put on a show- be rude and be the villain. I would have to lie to her and disappoint her. It went all against all my human feeling and impulses- the feelings I had clung onto all these years. I used to want trust from her but by doing this I would have had destroyed all traces of it. It made it even worse that this would be the last memory she would have of me. This would be me saying farewell. I turned on her. "What do you want?" I said coldly. SHe cringed away in disgust of my hostility. Her eyes had surprise in it.
"You owe me an explanation," She reminded me. Her voice was quiet and slightly less confident. It was very hard to keep my voice quiet.
"I saved your life-I don't owe you anything.". She flinched away and it hurt to watch her be in pain by my words.

"You promised," She whispered.

"Bella, you hit your head, you don't know what you're talking about.". I think I made it look like she was insane.
"There's nothing wrong with my head." She was angry now. I didn't want her to be angry at me but it was easier to sound cold to her this way. I met her glare and made mine worse.
"What do you want from me, Bella?".
"I want to know the truth. I want to know why I'm lying for you.", I see. She's got fed up. It was fair to tell her but it infuriated me to deny her.
"What do you think happened?" I nearly growled. Her words came out in a rush.
"All I know is that you weren't anywhere near me-Tyler didn't see you, either, so don't tell me I hit my head too hard. The van was going to crush us both- and it didn't, and your hands left dents in the side of it- and you left a dent in the other car, and you're not hurt at all- and the van should have smashed my legs, but you were holding it up…" Suddenly her eyes were glistening with unshed tears and she clenched her teeth. I stared at her, my face was defensive.

"You think I lifted the van off you?" I asked as if she was scary. She nodded stiffly and her jaw tightened. My voice grew more mocking.
"Nobody will believe that, you know?". She made an effort to control her anger. When she spoke, her words we slow.
"I'm not going to tell anybody." It looked as if her voice was slow from irritation. She had meant it, I could see it in her eyes. Even furious and betrayed, she would keep a secret for me. But why? For half a second, it took me by surprise and messed up my expression. I quickly recomposed myself.

"Then why does it matter?" I asked.
"It matters to me," She said intently, "I don't like to lie- so there better be a good reason why I am doing it.". She was asking me to trust her like I did earlier. But this is a line I could not cross. My voice stayed cruel.
"Can't you just thank me and get it over with?".
"Thank you," She sounded irritated and didn't seem like she meant it but she did.
"You're not going to let it go, are you?".
"No.".
"In that case…" I didn't want to break a promise. I didn't want this to be the last words I say to her… I didn't want her to be the reason I exposed my family… I didn't want… I'd rather her make up a story so I wouldn't have to tell her- anything would be better than the truth. I was living a nightmare. "I hope you enjoy disappointment.". We scowled at each other and it was odd in some way. Her anger was kind of cute. Like a kitten trying to be a tiger. She flushed pink before asking her next question.
"Why did you even bother?". That was the one question I wasn't prepared for. I felt my mask dissipate and I lost control of the role I was playing. I told her-this one time-the truth.
"I don't know.". I mesmerised her face one last time. Her face was fumed with anger and betrayal. I then walked away.

Goodbye, Bella…