IOU: ForNever
I Liked You More Than You Knew
Days, weeks, months passed and our message got through to pretty much everyone in the game, and like we expected the news spread faster than the fact that we won our first game. Eventually more people, like our professors, found out and the news was like some big headline over the next few months. I personally thought we were good, I mean I didn't catch on until the last minute, but I still tied everything up. After that show on the field, pretending got a little more comfortable, even second nature to me; some perks of being in a 'relationship' is that you'll never be alone, never again will you be hit on by jerks (only happens when your special person is kind of known.), you'll save a lot of munny on dates, and the best part of it all we're not really committed to each other; I can ogle anybody I like and he could do the same without making a big mess about it.
The finals week for sophomore year was like the biggest, longest week ever made for every single second year student. First three days will be mostly made up of classes with the defense, or orals, then the last three days would be written reports, term papers, and exams. All of the time needed for preparations is given during the two weeks before the final week; therefore a thing such as 'spare' time is non-existent for now.
"So there's a difference between Delirium and Dementia?" I asked tapping my pencil on the coffee table. There was low 'hmm' and some scribbling followed afterwards. I waited a bit longer, thinking he was just taking his time in answering.
He looked up from his notes, "What were you saying?" Or maybe he just wasn't listening. I yawned, and took a glance at my phone: no new messages, 01:19 am.
I slumped over the table; my head was resting over my arms. "Aren't we going to sleep, yet?" My voice a little more muffled, and slurry than I intended it to.
He chuckled, "Sleepy?" Not really, Mr. State-the-obvious. I groaned and slumped further into the table, while hearing him move around, until his voice grew louder and felt nearer too.
"Wanna sleep in my room?" I raised my head just to stare at him.
"No! No! Not like that! sheez... I'm just offering a bed," He said, my stare turned to glare.
"Okay! Do you want to use my room to sleep in, while I stay here," he gestured at the place, "For studying and sleeping." He sighed. I think he's starting to regret offering me the room, in exchange for the sofa.
I smiled at him, "Hmm ... no need, I could always call Yuffie to pi—"speaking of 'picking-up', my line of sight changed and the next thing I knew I was staring at an upside down hallway. I tried to bring my head to level at least higher than it was being carried; it was no use—all I saw as a glimpse of my struggling legs, and more of the ceiling.
"There's no reasoning with you is there?" Even when I'm not looking, I know he's smirking. He threw me up lightly, "Right, right. I'm not complaining." I said finally content.
"That's what I thought." He retorted quickly, walking in a steady pace towards the narrow hallway, just before going through he stopped. "Aqua, could you ... uh not get in the way?" I don't know how I was getting in the way; he was the one that forced me here.
I flailed arm my arms until they found the nearest wall, and with enough force I was able to push myself up. "I told you I'd tell Yuffie to pick me up." I said a little annoyed at his fickle little mind.
A light tinge of red apparent in his face, "No, it's not that," he gave me a guilty smile. "If I'd go through the hall ...You'd hit your head, so ..." Oh jeez... is that all? I thought it was something serious too like, he was just offering because he normally offers and gets declined right away.
He still hadn't moved from where we were, and his mouth laid agape for some reason; I rolled my eyes and hung my unused arm over his neck, quickly followed by the (numbing) other. I could only stay in that awkward position for so long; noticing my movements, he moved his arm that was supporting my upper body, slightly higher.
With the leverage from his arm, and both of my arms around his neck I could finally see his face. I grinned, and leaned almost immediately on his shoulder; supposing he doesn't mind that is.
I could feel his breathing go a little fast; probably because his arms are getting numb, and his heartbeat beats twice as fast; Some secret in your room, you don't want me to find?. I smiled to myself as the thoughts went on, and on until he opened the door to his mostly black and white room.
"Hey!!" I yelled out, since he practically threw me to the bed. He chuckled and diverted his to the door, "You're going already?" I rolled over on my stomach watching him from his kept bed opening the door with little or no hesitation.
He sighed, and turned his head back, "What miss me already?"
I deadpanned, and raised my brow at him. "Please, don't flatter yourself. I was just ..." I set my sights on the nearest possible object in the room, "—surprised! That... you're leaving me alone in your room, yeah nice save, nice save..." I said the latter more to myself than him.
"Well, I have to study. I'm not exactly in the honours class like somebody I know." he opened the door wider, and averting his eyes back on the exit. "I'll be outside if you need something," he said before leaving and closing the door behind him.
--- --- ---
I sighed, having the room all to myself was something I didn't expect; he always had something that bites my behind every time he does something nice. Not that I don't like being with him, I suppose ... spending 9 months with him has been getting to me. Let's just leave it at that, mean there's only 3 days left of sophomore year and with the end of sophomore year also comes the end of the little charade we've (mostly I've) gotten used to.
I implied 'I', because ... I think it's safe to assume that things change after several months of being together, or rather pretending to be together with a person who is just terribly likeable in any way possible. I'm not exaggerating—okay maybe I am. Try acting all cool and collected after 7 or 8 months of fake relationship-ing! It's hard, really hard especially when he chose you specifically because of the reason 'you can't fall for him', and here you are trying to repress the bubbling squeal at the pit of your stomach, because you're in his room. Alone.
Unlike storybooks, and all that magical 'one-moment' and 'you fall in love' jazz; my current fix isn't because he 'saved' me, or our 'eyes met' and whatnot. It's composed of several long days, nights and waking moments that we're never really 'real'.
--- --- ---
It's because I tried to pry myself separate from the group that I was inevitable to be in, tested and was thrown into.
"I'll officially introduce you to the team!" What was he talking about? I knew the team. What introduction can you conjure up between two people who knew each other?
He called for the whole room's attention, which in fact was hard for any normal team member except for him, Roxas (no. 13), Sora (no. 10), Gippal (no. 21), and the newly added midfielder Axel (no.8). Anyway, they all grew quiet and turn their attention towards us. Although I know we're just pretending to be 'into each other', I still want the approval of team; I held on to his hand harder. To which he just smiles at me and turned his attention back to the team.
"That your girl Ventus?" the new midfielder said, faster than he could.
I turned towards him, looking at the grinning face of his, "Well ... you could say that." Some of the people seated on the table in front of were already sharing their fair share of looks and silent messages. It was horrifying: being judged like that.
Sora snickered, "Well is she or is she not? She can't possibly be both." Oh you'll never know, in this crazy world I've proven ABSOLUTELY anything IS possible. I covered my reoccurring glare with a short laugh.
"She's anybody's girl ..." Excuse me? "I mean that as, she doesn't belong to me ... but she's with me, but I don't necessarily own her." I have a GPA of 3.8 and so on, and I didn't understand what he said. My confused stare went back to his face, scrutinizing the flushed face he had.
"I've got a better idea," Roxas said smirking, while he set his eyes on me. Low muffled laughter escaped the lips of some of them, and I already feared his doppelganger. "Let's just ask Aqua," I rolled my eyes, involuntarily of course. "Are you two together or not?" Oh easy one, the answer is both yes and no; very simple huh?
I stammered, "Well ..." an idea formed. "What are we, Ven?" he caught the glint in my eyes, although faint.
He grimaced and started his script, "We're kindergarteners who just happen to like each other very much." Nice answer, so typically evasive. Just like and 'in-between' boyfriend would answer.
"If you don't want to answer seriously, then..." I bowed my head, and whispered incoherent things and asked Gippal—who was sitting at the end of the table—to move, and sat myself on his seat as he remained unmoved on the spot. A moment of 'looks' went on as he stood idly.
"It's okay; you don't have to answer it." I said putting the dramatic exit act on; complete with the pushing of the chair, distant look and voice, and walkout. A self-countdown went on, and at the end before I could even get 3 steps out of the door of the store; I already heard the expected footsteps behind me.
I saw the grin on his face from the glass door, "You're getting better at this." He commented chuckling; laughing at the lines we threw each other.
Like always, I pushed us out of plain sight before laughing at every cheesy line we said to each other, mocking ourselves after. "I'm just acting the real thing," I cooed.
He paused, and gave me a wondering look, "... Wait, are you ... did you—"
"No! I can't believe you even thought of that!" I laughed, and he didn't join in. I peeked at his face: a distracted look was over his normally happy face. "I don't feel anything for you, except of course the friendly kind. Don't ever think it'll change." I tried to assure him, but all I got was a light shake of his head.
He smiled lightly, "I know, but if you are ..." he trailed and I met his azure eyes in an intense stare, "... just tell me, I don't want you to get hurt. Okay?" everything in his voice was light: genuine concern, and worry. His blue eyes usually full of impish ideas, and carefree sketch of the world, now disquiet and anxiety were taking its place.
I beamed; trying to take those unusual look in his eyes away, "I promise, I'm not—and never will I ever have anything to tell you in like that." I said with more cheer in my voice.
He grimaced, "Okay, do you want to go back?" again with the muted tone.
"Not if you don't want to." I replied, noticing he wasn't really up for the after party they deserved for winning the championship. I grabbed his wrists, pulled him out of the hiding spot, and dragged him across of the district, and away from the team and the rest of the night.
-8-
"Where are we going?"
"Somewhere we don't have to pretend!"
That somewhere I've mentioned happened to be in the farthest reaches of the 3rd district. It's quite far from where we were before, but the atmosphere is just so boundless—like everything doesn't exist that everything was back to just how everything was, before I agreed to that damned favour. I'll mull over that some other time.
"The White Room, huh? I've heard of this place from Cloud." Well I've heard of this place cause of Yuffie babbling all about it during lab.
I grinned, "Nobody ever comes here during this time, so I figured maybe sometime not pretending would be good, you know?" He laughed and continued on to the maze of bright star-like lit path.
"Okay so we're not going to have to pretend?" he asked smiling, feeling actually relieved, I nodded. "Hmm ... so no holding hands in public or anything like that?"
"Nope, just plain old Ven and Aqua." I guaranteed.
The corners of his lips twitched up, "So when did holding hands become a plain Ven and Aqua thing?" I turned my head down, looking at where my hand was; and indeed it was entwined with his. I quickly let go and turned the other way.
"Sorry... I guess, I was just used to it." He laughed at me, and took the hand captive again.
I looked up, seeing him smile sweetly. "Then let's make it a Ven and Aqua thing, nothing bad about that right?" he lifted both our hands to eye level.
I was gaping, no not like a live fish, more of a frozen on the spot one. "Are you sure about that? I mean, we're already borderline 'in a relationship', you want to make it more complicated by crossing that?" I reasoned, tugging the crossed hands back down.
"I wouldn't mind, it's you anyway." He was blithe with his words.
It took a long minute before the words sunk in, "What do you mean by 'it's you anyway'?" the walk was becoming more hyped up than it needs to be.
He chuckled, "To put it simply, falling for you isn't the least bit of my worries."
I could only reply half-heartedly, "We're not performing for anyone. You don't have to act right now." I said trying to jerk of the words that were repeated in my head.
"Oh right, there aren't people around..." He grimaced at his unaccounted effort.
I took it in stride, "We're just both so used to acting that we're already mixing it with what's real, maybe we should take a break." I tried.
He sighed, "Maybe ... so want to get some cakes down at the White Room?" I could only nod at his suggestion and follow him out of the starlit maze and down the path to the little white cafe I've been hearing so much about.
I don't know if it was the cake, or the after-effects of the night stroll. I was literally in half; a part of me loves the attention, and the other half of me knows it's just an act.
--- --- ---
And that's where tonight comes in. Only three days of sophomore year, and the act will have to end soon. Having discussed that we should talk about how, and what would be an effective way of breaking up, but still being friends afterwards. We can't practice in my room—Yuffie would be sure to listen in, so I suggested we study and practice in his place.
So tonight, like every other night we had alone: we act like we're friends, so we focused on studying till twelve and by one I was distracted as hell, and went on to excuse myself for the night. That was until I decided it's better to have somebody to talk to rather than having flashbacks that makes things worse.
"Hey, you still up?" I peeked at the figure sitting on top of the sofa.
He moved a little, and started to wake up. I leaned in closer inspecting his face from a closer point. From the first time after the first day of class, I was actually the one who leaned in closer, "Ven ... hey, wake up." I poked his cheek.
He groaned, and finally woke up for real this time. "Oh ... what morning already?" he muttered.
"No, I just needed something," I said trying to wake him up more.
He yawned, "Okay ... so what?" he sat up, I retracted myself to the other side of the sofa, giving him more space.
I breathed in, "So in three days we're finally going to be incoming juniors."
"Yeah, I can't believe college is going so fast." He sighed, and rested his head on the backrest. I gawked at him; I was kind of hoping I wasn't the one who's going to open the topic, so dropping hints was all I could do.
"So junior year, huh? Lots of changes... new things, and the end of old things," If I wasn't being clear enough, I don't know how else.
He smirked, "End of old things? Like the normal mix of teachers for the sophomores and freshmen?" I groaned out of frustration.
Do I have to smack your face to the topic I want to talk about? "No! Something personal; like the end of some bet ..." that distant look on his face cued it; of course I had to just say it. "What about the team's bet with the squad, it's going to end in three days right?"
He 'oooohh'-ed, and laughed, "Sorry ... I haven't been thinking about that, lately." He chuckled some more.
I just let out a sigh, "Oh ... you haven't?"
"Everything just comes naturally; like I don't have to think about being nice, being sweet, or even saying nice things about you. I just say what I mean." I stared, maybe not into his eyes or his face, but I simply stared. If what he saying is actually true then, would that imply that... the act got to him too?
I struggled into asking, "... Do you ... like me?"
He choked, even gasped for breath before laughing, "What? Where did that come from? And no I don't." He couldn't stop laughing; I find really insulting. It's not really a funny question at all.
"Somehow I took that badly, am I not likeable?" I wondered.
He grinned, "No, you're very attractive." Why don't I feel like what he's saying is true? I narrowed my gaze; he averted his eyes, "Well not to me of course," one word: Ouch.
"Okay you're doing a good job at crushing my ego," I said particularly livid at his answers. He stood up and went to the kitchen, getting water for both of us and then setting them down on the coffee table.
He drank all of his before speaking, "What has gotten into you in the room?" he stared at me like I was some delirious person. "I left you alone for about 15 or 20 minutes, you come out like you've had an epiphany or something." Mhm... Does realizing something that was there for quite some time now, yet it's only recently I've took notice of it all as an epiphany?
"It's what you call the effects of over thinking, do you know how many guys I've missed out on cause I was 'dating' you," he shrugged. "Well I'll tell you mister, quite a lot!" Although many, I never really liked them anyway; like nothing in them rubbed me the right way. They were just so ... so easy to read, predictable, unlike him.
He sighed, "If you really liked someone, I would've allowed you to date him; all you had to do was tell me." he smiled at me innocently, "And you have nothing to worry about missing out on more guys next year, we're going to break up in 2 days so just bear with it." Bear 2 years of not being together, or bear the possible heartbreak when I confess—I choose 2 years.
"Right, about that ..." he had a questioning look on his face, "I kind of ...." don't want to end it, cause I really like you now and for god knows why I don't want to let go.
He grimaced, "You kind of what?" he repeated, with a light implication that he had no clue to what I was going to say. He smiled to himself, "You like me don't you?" or maybe he had everything about me figured out.
I stammered, but it wasn't that obvious, "No! What made you think that? That's a stupid question, why would you even go there ... hah! Me like some like you, you wish." I ended with a cross of nervous and bitter tone.
He smirked, "O-kay" he scooted closer to my side of the couch, "You don't mind do you?" I shook my head, even if I know the result of this would be very bad. He sighed, and rested his head on my lap, "You don't mind, right?" I had the urge to push him off and storm out of the room, but my joints wouldn't let me.
"Aqua, why's your face so red?" Oh, no I'm not playing as the big bad wolf in your distorted version of little red riding hood.
"Because I lack sleep, and I'm in terrible deprivation of it." His eyes narrowed, and the devious grin was back on his upside-down face.
"Aqua, why are you always so distant when you talk to me?" I just knew he's not going to let this go. I gave in anyway, nothing better to do, and too lazy to move.
"Because I'm thinking about the test tomorrow." Rather the day after tomorrow.
He sat up, and lean in closer to my face, which automatically back away. "Aqua, why are you backing away?" cause there's too much of you? That's too cheesy—ugh. Stop teasing me!
"Because—because ... you are too close, and we don't want that to happen again."
"The first day?" No not really, the 73rd one—of course the first day! "Who said we don't want it to happen again?" he said cheekily.
I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming; this is not happening, this can't be happening, "You have got to be kidding me." I said slightly ticked off, pushing his body away from mine.
He laughed, "Okay, Okay I'll stop," I let out a sigh of relief, finally being able to breathe back on my own pace. "You're really cute when you get flustered." He added.
I glared, "If you don't stop now, I swear—you'll wake up tomorrow missing an organ." I said seriously. He moved back still staring at with those 'what?' like expression on his face, "Yes, Ven. THAT organ." I finished walking off back to his room, and I even have the face to lock him out.
--- --- ---
The break up went well, so to speak. It was pretend so I had my silver lining backing me up on something; an honest relationship is always better than a fake one. I entered the halls of the school, looking for Yuffie, Yuna, or Rikku anybody would suffice I just wanted to end this miserable alone time I had enough of during summer break.
This being the first day of Junior year is like having a flashback of what happened during the first day of sophomore year; Yeah, it didn't end up too good. But who cares now right? It's a new year, a new day, and a new—is that a picture of me and Ven?
Right down, down, down the hall was a large (if I say so myself) picture of me and him from the first game last year, beside it were other couple pictures I couldn't see so clearly. I quicken my pace towards the bulletin board, practically running towards it, upon reaching the end of the hall the other couples became clear, and the captions too. Oh the dreaded captions.
"First Game Jitters for the New Campus Couple," First game what?! Jitters? Who the heck printed this, or even more who in the world took a picture of it? How are we the Campus Couple, I didn't even know such a thing existed!?
"Oh god, whoever got this has got to be insane, right Ven?" I turned my head the other way, like I always do last year ... but this time there was no one to answer, or even stand beside me while took a look at this. "Oh that's right ..."
I caught my breathing, and decided to ease away the unwanted thoughts away from my mind; looking at the other pictures. There was one with Xion, Roxas and Naminé in 7th Heaven: Xion looks like she was offering Naminé a Banoffee Pie, and she was glaring at her, while Roxas was just standing beside Xion with his arm over her waist. The caption says, "The Singer, The Girlfriend and The Bitter Songwriter." Ouch, whoever posted this is asking for trouble, not just that—he or she is asking to be killed.
Another picture was of Tifa and Cloud, they looked like they were dancing the waltz of some ballroom dance from the looks of it. The caption for them was, "Reigning Campus Couple Ends Rule." Oh so what we succeeded them now? We're not even 'together' anymore; we never really were anything more than friends.
"There you are! You left too early, why didn't you wait for me?" Yuffie yelled panting away beside me. I smiled and apologized to the tired girl, "Jeez... Eh?" I turned my attention back to her. "Where's your boy?"
"Hmm ... I don't have a boy, we broke up." I stated, indifferent about it.
She took it bad though, started wailing, "No! That can't be! I even got terrific pictures of you guys into the yearbook!" Oh so it's her we have to deal with. I pointed at the bulletin board, and she beamed. "Yeah! It took me days and nights just to buy off those pictures from other people and edit them to turn out like I wanted them to!" the powers of a hyper black-hair girl that has nothing better to do, truly amazing.
"Well I guess you have to edit it again," I said happily; thoroughly enjoying her disappointment. "Cause we're nothing, anymore but fri—"
My sight darkened, and I could feel a presence behind me, a familiar voice rang through my ear, "Guess who?" I sighed and felt around the person's arms and face. But then, I thought—Roxas is the kind of person who'd do such a thing too, besides me and Ven are like not an item, and he knows I like him so he wouldn't do this on purpose.
"Yuffie ... have you seen Xion anywhere?" I said ignoring him; the hitched breathing and the gloomy aura took effect. "Good morning Roxas, where's Xion?"
He sighed, almost out of life. "Don't mention her, we're still friends ....but, because of her ... I think I broke somebody to point that she just plainly gave up on me." Oh ... sore topic, never mind.
I was about to open my mouth for another topic other than what was going on, but Yuffie the great photographer Yuffie just had to butt in, "She? You're playing another girl?" She just doesn't get the meaning of 'gauging' does she?
"No ... no! And I never play with a girl!" He denied furious at the heedless girl that still branded him as a 'player' in many ways more than one. I shook my head at the two's bickering, and moved away as stealthily as I can.
When did the hallway become such a tight spot? "Sorry! Sorry, I shouldn't have walked backwards!" I apologized catching the blue eyes of the person I just bumped into.
He gave a toothy grin, "Don't worry about it Aqua, I wasn't watching where I was going too." I focused my gaze at the boy, and noticing his spiky brunet hair and identical eyes to the blonde before. No wonder I thought he was the guy that should not be named.
"Oh, hey Sora, where's Kairi?" Why was I bringing up girlfriends to the people I've been bumping in to? He flushed, "Oh okay ... never mind. Touchy topic or not?" I asked.
"No, no ... I just heard about you and Ven..."
I sighed, "It's alright ... Ven and I are still good friends, at least I got him out of the catch of the bet, right?" I beamed; the brunet stared at me with wide eyes.
"What bet?" I looked at the confused Sora in front of me, and laughed a little.
"Oh you know the one that the team made with the squad." I informed him a little lost as to why he doesn't remember the bet at all.
He chuckled, "There was no bet, ask Roxas he's on the same team with me and Ven, there was no bet made." I stared at him, with eyes that can be mistaken as dinner plates.
I stuttered, "No ... no ... bet, then why would ... what's the ... what was I doing?" He shrugged and walked off. Maybe the freshmen part of the team weren't the ones making the bet, so they were never told anything; the one I should be looking for is an upperclassman, or Gippal. But before I could go on a mad hunt for the said types of people, the bell rang and I proceeded to my class like everyone else.
--- --- ---
In 3rd period there was this distinct feeling of either it's happy or just plain sad. I took an empty seat at the last row, and apparently no one was sitting next to me yet. The silence from all the seniors and juniors (we're like 8 in the room) was different from the joint class of last year (sophomore and freshmen), no one would yell for no reason (or so I would assume), and there was no helpful brunette beside me. It's funny, I think I miss sophomore year. 3rd period is normal quota course, and the fact that made me happy here is I might get to see some of my friends like Yuna and Rikku who didn't show earlier this morning, and on the other hand there's a chance I might get to see Ven.
"Aqua?" I raised my head, seeing the redhead smiling down on me, "You're taking this class too?" She sat on the empty seat next to me.
I nodded, "You too I see," there was that happy aura that she always carried. All the doubt for whatever happened to this class I think I'll manage.
She laughed, "Well I didn't want a class with Sora this year, and he said his taking Calculus." I 'ooh'-ed and focused back on the board.
"So I hear you and Ven broke up, what happened?" can't say I wasn't waiting for that.
I sighed, "Well ... there was—"
"Aqua!?" I stopped in mid-sentence, and averted my sight on the owner of the panicked voice by the door. "We need to talk."
I turned back to Kairi, "Uh ... I'll be right back!" I stood up and walked towards the door. She yelled out 'take your time!' before engaging another person into conversation.
I slowed my pace as soon as I was 3 meters away from the door, and the blonde. The excited feeling was back in my system again, and I was looking happier than when I first came into the room.
"You need something?" I asked sincerely happy.
He stammered, "Well ... I was ... just, thinking ... uh..."
I smiled, "Thinking of what?"
He took a deep breath, "Well there's this unusual feeling that started this summer, you know. It's like I know I'm alone but since today, I've called Terra 'Aqua' when I was making fun of something, and I was talking to myself thinking that you're going to answer."
"Ah ..." Well what do you know? It affected him too. I beamed, "I think it's because we're so used to being around each other that this happens." I concluded.
He paused, "So you're saying we'll get used to it eventually?"
I nodded, "Yeah, maybe a few months apart should fix our problem." Weeks apart, that sounded longer than I wanted, but if it's for the better than I think its okay.
He shook his head, "No. I think we're going about this the wrong way. You think we should try to be like before?" What the ...
"So we're going to pretend to be together again?" I sighed, a little frustrated.
He paused, "Or we could just be together, no faking this time." He grinned.
I grinned, "As friends!" and offering to shake his hand on the deal.
He took it, and returned the same look. "As friends!"
A/N: For the FINAL ending for everyone's story, please read Indemnity (Chapter 13)