Title: Commander Shepard, You've Got Mail
Summary: Every day, starting when Garrus rejoins C-Sec up until the destruction of the Normandy, Shepard and Garrus exchange emails. After all, good friends stay in touch.
Rating: K+
Pairing: Garrus/Shepard friendship, flirting
Spoilers: All of ME1
Timeline: post-ME1, pre-ME2
Commander Shepard, You've Got Mail
Part Twelve
Received: 8:07 a.m. 12/16/83
I slammed my face into a bulkhead this morning. Hurts like a bitch.
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 8:40 a.m. 12/16/83
What happened to your shields?
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 8:45 a.m. 12/16/83
I'd just got out of bed. Wasn't wearing anything.
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 8:48 a.m. 12/16/83
Armour, I mean. I wasn't wearing any armour.
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 8:52 a.m. 12/16/83
Right.
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 8:58 a.m. 12/16/83
Anyway. I've got a black eye now. Joker decided to get smart with me about it. Would have given him one to match, but I didn't want to break his skull.
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 9:07 a.m. 12/16/83
That must be inconvenient.
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 9:14 a.m. 12/16/83
You'd think a guy with glass bones would be more careful about pissing off marines.
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 9:20 a.m. 12/16/83
Turians usually sleep armoured in space. I was surprised to see that humans don't.
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 9:23 a.m. 12/16/83
You're still thinking about that?
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 9:29 a.m. 12/16/83
You're right. I should stop thinking about it.
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 9:35 a.m. 12/16/83
It's uncomfortable for us to sleep clothed, let alone armoured. Soft and squishy, remember?
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 9:41 a.m. 12/16/83
You don't seem very squishy, Commander.
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 9:46 a.m. 12/16/83
Compared to a turian?
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 9:50 a.m. 12/16/83
Soft, maybe. But not squishy. Hanar are squishy. Humans aren't.
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 9:57 a.m. 12/16/83
Well, okay. Now that we've established a definition of "squishy."
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 10:05 a.m. 12/16/83
Plus, turians are squishy in certain places. All species are, I think.
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 10:11 a.m. 12/16/83
Oh? Such as?
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 10:17 a.m. 12/16/83
Under the fringe. Beneath the arm. Instep of the foot. The waist is... not squishy, exactly, but sensitive.
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 10:23 a.m. 12/16/83
That's it? I'm disappointed. Humans are squishy in way more places than that.
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 10:26 a.m. 12/16/83
Well, you don't have plates.
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 10:29 a.m. 12/16/83
Really, though. Soft thighs, abdomens, necks, cheeks, bust... we're not much better than hanar.
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 10:36 a.m. 12/16/83
I am perplexed as to how humans evolved without some form of natural weapons or armour.
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 10:39 a.m. 12/16/83
I wonder about that, too. We're not fast or strong or durable... I suppose that's why we evolved to be clever. We had to make up for our disabilities somehow.
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 10:45 a.m. 12/16/83
That would explain all of the fingers.
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 10:49 a.m. 12/16/83
What do you mean, ALL of them? I only have ten.
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 10:54 a.m. 12/16/83
Four more than I have.
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 10:58 a.m. 12/16/83
Our fingers are... dextrous, I suppose. And having a lot makes it easier to build things.
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 11:08 a.m. 12/16/83
A necessary skill. Your ancestors would have built their own weapons.
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 11:17 a.m. 12/16/83
Yeah. Swords and bows and that sort of thing. Did turians ever have that? You know, medieval times, castles and stuff?
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 11:22 a.m. 12/16/83
We used to have wings.
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 11:27 a.m. 12/16/83
You're kidding. That's incredible. So your ancestors flew?
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 11:34 a.m. 12/16/83
Yes. We had physical structures similar to your flying dinosaurs. Pterodactyls, I believe.
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 11:37 a.m. 12/16/83
All humans dream of flying. It would be amazing if we actually could.
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 11:42 a.m. 12/16/83
You do fly. You have your own starship.
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 11:46 a.m. 12/16/83
I guess you're right. I always wanted to be captain of a ship. When I was younger, I wanted to be a pirate.
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 11:52 a.m. 12/16/83
A pirate? That seems terribly... bloodthirsty of you.
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 11:57 a.m. 12/16/83
Not that kind of pirate. It's... hard to explain. I'll have to show you some Earth vids.
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 12:01 p.m. 12/16/83
We can watch those after the comedies.
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 12:04 p.m. 12/16/83
That reminds me. Have you ever seen a rom-com?
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 12:08 p.m. 12/16/83
No translation, Commander.
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 12:14 p.m. 12/16/83
Romantic comedy. It's a time-honoured tradition back on Earth. Friends watch them together.
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 12:19 p.m. 12/16/83
Huh. Any in particular that I should download?
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 12:33 p.m. 12/16/83
When Harry Met Sally is a classic. So is Knocked Up.
Might give you some insights into human behaviour.
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 12:37 p.m. 12/16/83
All right. I'll find decent copies on the extranet.
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 12:41 p.m. 12/16/83
What about turian vids? We haven't made plans to watch any of those.
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 12:45 p.m. 12/16/83
For good reason, Commander.
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 12:48 p.m. 12/16/83
They can't be all that bad. Promise me we'll watch at least one.
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 12:55 p.m. 12/16/83
Turians never cultivated the performing arts to the same standards as other races. You'll be disappointed.
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 1:14 p.m. 12/16/83
With millions of years of evolutionary history, you can't tell me turians never came up with one good movie. Find something.
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 1:17 p.m. 12/16/83
Is that an order, Commander?
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)
Received: 1:19 p.m. 12/16/83
Yes. It is. Find me a good turian movie or I'm putting you on dish duty for a month.
(Sent from private terminal of Commander Artemis Shepard, Alliance Navy)
Received: 1:23 p.m. 12/16/83
Aye aye, Commander!
(Sent from private terminal of Officer Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security)