Distracted Chapter Twelve:
"Well, there you go, do your thing!" Lisbon told Jane. They were standing at the entrance of the victim's ward after they had driven up to the facility very early that morning. Lisbon waited for Jane to start analyzing clues since he had been so eager yesterday to go over Mary's stuff once more. Jane looked around the room and hesitated a moment before he stepped inside. It was true that he had wanted to go over Mary's room once more, but it had mostly been to keep his mind focused on this case. There really wasn't much to see in the room. It was small, with room for a single bed and a nightstand, a closet and a desk. The view from the small window showed the neatly-mowed lawn next to the driveway that ended with the large steel gate. The walls of her room were a soft white, the sheets on her bed a washed out pink. Jane had checked her closet yesterday. It only contained six of the same nineties style jeans she had worn on the day she was murdered, thirteen wide t-shirts and five hooded sweaters. The drawers on the bottom of the closet were filled with white socks and underwear, and just like the rest of the room, it didn't tell him anything about her.
He walked over to her desk. It was empty. On the desktop were some scratches and small indentations visible. Upon closer examination, they appeared to be letters. She had been writing behind her desk.
"Lisbon, could you get one of Mary's caretakers for me please?" he asked.
"Sure" Lisbon said and walked out.
Truth be told, Jane was glad he had found something that could tell them more about the victim, not in the least bit because he found it crucial to keep impressing Lisbon in hopes of at least making her forget Ardiles.
Soon, Lisbon returned with one of Mary's caretakers. The man looked nervous. Jane introduced himself.
"Hello, I'm Patrick Jane, and you are?"
"My name is Luke, I work at the ward where Mary lived…" he answered.
"Great! Luke, I have a question for you. Mary wrote things, am I right?" he asked.
Luke seemed to be getting more nervous.
"Not really…" he answered.
Jane sighed.
"Then what caused the indentations in her desk?" he asked.
Luke closed his eyes for a second and decided he should better come clean.
"Right, well, I guess she sometimes wrote letters…" he told them.
"To whom?" Lisbon asked, getting more curious.
"To her sister, Susan" Luke said switching his attention to her.
"Really?" Jane asked. "What did she write about?"
Luke hesitated and got even more nervous.
"I… I don't know..!"
Jane didn't buy it.
"Come on, she wasn't able to post a letter on her own. She would need paper, an envelope, stamps. And she wouldn't be able to mail it herself. So I think she had to give it to you, her caretakers, so you would take care of it. And you would read them, just to make sure she didn't write things that would unnecessarily upset the world. Tell me what she wrote" Jane asked again.
"Well, okay, okay..!" Luke said reluctantly. "She would write things about how she hated that we didn't understand her, and that she hated that the world was so stupid. And sometimes… sometimes she wrote about Red John. At first that she would like to meet him, but later she said she wanted nothing more to do with it. That it scared her."
Jane looked over at Lisbon. She had that look in her eyes when she got passionate about her job.
"Why didn't you report it to the police?!" Lisbon asked.
Luke looked at her and had to look down from the intense frown he got from her in return.
"Well, I don't think it really would have mattered. You should know it wasn't as simple as that with a schizophrenic. This is just my interpretation from what I've read. Nothing was what it seemed with her. She could barely understand herself. Her thinking was confused. At first I tried to take her serious. She seemed to be saying all kind of deep things, but they were meaningless most of the time. She had a lot of hallucinations and often thought people were out to get her. Her speech was like a word salad, she was very incoherent and often forgot what she had been saying. All that is very common in schizophrenic patients, so we didn't think much of it. Especially since she was send here because of her obsession with Red John."
"Really? What was that?" Lisbon asked, intrigued.
"Ehm, I don't know, I've just been here for four years. All I know is that she would mention him a lot. Us caretakers don't really need to know all the police stuff that precedes them coming here. All we care about is what her condition was and how far it had progressed. That's why there are only files here from the forensic psychiatrist and not from the trial."
"Right" Lisbon said, lost in thoughts. Jane decided he could take over from here without ruining her moment.
"So what did she do all day? I mean, when she was in her room?"
Luke shrugged. "I guess she would mostly just lie over there" he said, pointing to her bed. "She wasn't sleeping, she would just stare at the ceiling all day. But I wouldn't read too much into that, I mean, who knows what was going on inside her head…"
Lisbon didn't particularly like his uncaring attitude.
"Didn't you ever try to do something with her? Get her to leave her room for a while?" she asked.
"Sure!" Luke immediately responded, sensing her dislike. "We tried lots of things, but she never really wanted to do anything. Only when her sister came to visit did she leave the room willingly, but even then they would always spend hours in here as well."
"Did Mary happen to have a picture, or a card or anything from her sister in her room?" Lisbon asked.
"No, no, her room always looked like this…" Luke told them and the three of them looked around the bleak room, lacking any personal touches and sighed.
"Is there anything else I can help you with?" Luke asked eventually.
"Thank you, this'll be all for now" Lisbon said when Jane stayed silent. "But we might need you to give our sketch artist an description of what Mary's sister Susan looked like."
"Sure" Luke said and left the room.
Jane, in the mean time, had lain down on the bed, staring at the ceiling just as Mary must have done.
"So?" Lisbon asked.
"We have to read those letters she sent to 'the sister'" he said.
"I agree, but to be able to do that, we first have to find out who she is. You said you might learn more about her when you visited Mary's room again, so… Are those white, cardboard ceiling tiles telling you anything?" Lisbon asked sarcastically.
"No, as a matter of fact they don't" Jane responded while averting his gaze from the ceiling, but carefully avoided looking at Lisbon. He hated that he hadn't figured out more about this case yet, and not only because he wasn't getting any closer to Red John.
Because while all he wanted to do is cause a major breakthrough to make Lisbon forget Ardiles, he wasn't able to focus on anything else than them being together or not and it was frustrating as hell.
He jumped up from the bed and walked briskly past Lisbon to leave the room. Surprised by his sudden departure, Lisbon sighed and rolled her eyes before hurrying after him.
"So?" she asked
"So, what?" Jane responded without looking at her.
"So, what did you learn?" she asked.
"Well, if I had anything, don't you think I would've told you?" he responded harshly, frustration clear in his voice.
"It wouldn't have been the first time you 'forgot' to share your information with me…" Lisbon muttered.
Jane just picked up his pace, trying to ignore her, but Lisbon caught up with him and grasped his arm, bringing him to a halt.
He sighed annoyed and turned around to look at her.
"Jane, I know it is hard for you to work a Red John case and I know you want to solve this case more than anything – I do too…" she said and looked at him empathically, her big eyes looking straight into his.
"But running around like a madman isn't getting you anywhere. We have to think about how we're going to handle this case if we ever want to solve it."
Jane sighed again.
"Yeah, I know. So, what do you propose?" he asked, still not looking at her.
"Well, let's go back to the CBI. I'll see if I can find anything from her trial. You should do what you normally do, you know, think… about things" Lisbon said, hoping he would go back to being his usual self.
"Sure" Jane answered and together they walked towards the car.
"I did think of one little thing, by the way…" he said when they were outside.
"Really? What was it?" Lisbon asked curiously.
"Well, that 'sister' didn't really care for Mary, or else she would have given her a photo, or a postcard, or flowers… Anything really. But she didn't, so she must have had an alternative reason for coming to visit her twice a month."
"You think she was stealing drugs from the facility?" Lisbon asked.
"I don't know yet" Jane told her honestly.
They drove back in silence. When they arrived at the bullpen, Jane hesitated. He looked at Lisbon, hoping she would retreat to her office so he could follow and spend the afternoon with her. Instead, she walked over to the table Rigsby and Van Pelt were seated at, reviewing evidence.
"Hey, any news?" she asked them and noticed they were sitting as far away from each other as possible.
"Autopsy report is in" Rigsby said.
"And the tech guys have determined where the victim must have been killed" Van Pelt added.
Lisbon looked at the table that was covered with reports and files.
"I'll read those later. Van Pelt, were you able to find our Susan Chapman?" she asked, already knowing the answer.
"I'm sorry boss, it must have been an alias…" she answered apologetic.
Lisbon frowned and stared ahead, determining what to do next. She snapped out of it when Jane grabbed a chair and went to sit at the table as well, instead of throwing himself on his couch.
Jane noticed the surprised look Lisbon gave him, but didn't respond. The last thing he needed right now was to lie down on his couch, apart from the others, left alone with his thoughts. Nothing productive would come from that.
He wanted to explain to Lisbon that when he was alone he couldn't stop thinking about her… and Ardiles. That he had to work hard to keep his thoughts occupied with the case. He wanted to explain it to her, really, but on the other hand, he really didn't want to.
So he kept staring at the autopsy report in front of him, ignoring Lisbon's stare.
Eventually, she looked away.
"I'm going to see if I can find more information on the victim's trial, perhaps it'll tell us more about her connection to Red John" she said.
Jane looked at her, wishing the thought of her going to find that information wouldn't distract him so much. He hoped to catch a glimpse of her face, hoped that it would soothe his mind, but she had already turned to leave.
While Lisbon walked over to the D.A.'s office, her thoughts were racing as well. It had seemed like a good idea at first, but now she started to doubt whether this was a clever thing to do. It could lead to an important breakthrough, she told herself. She needed to do it, for Jane, she told herself. It was a clever thing to do, the right thing to do at least, but just thinking about Ardiles behavior with her yesterday made her hurt too much to appear brave when she entered the bullpen of the D.A.'s office.
She stood at the entrance for what seemed like an eternity, looking around the room in hopes of spotting Ardiles. When she walked up to stand in the middle, she glanced at Ardiles' office window and saw him looking back at her. They held each other's stare for a while, but when Lisbon prepared herself to walk over to him, he broke their eye-contact and pretended to be busy working and talking on the phone.
A little taken aback by his hurtful behavior, Lisbon decided she should find another way of getting information on Mary Chapman's case and turned to leave. Just then one of Ardiles' colleagues came walking up to her, a friendly smile on his face.
"Agent Lisbon, can I help you with something?" he asked.
Lisbon turned towards him, glad someone offered to help her after all.
"Stevens, hi. As a matter of fact, I think you might" she said while she handed him the sheet of information on their victim.
"This is our current Red John victim. She was sent to a mental facility in 2002, after her trial. She had confessed to being Red John, but it turned out she wasn't and that she was a schizophrenic. The mental institution didn't have the files from her trial, but I was wondering if maybe you could find them somewhere for me? Anything about her will do, really" she told him.
Steve scanned the sheet and nodded. "Sure, I'll see what I can do. It's a long time ago though. Officially, we have to keep most information for fifteen years, but I didn't even work here ten years ago, so I have no idea where to start looking. But I'll do my best" he concluded.
"Thanks, I really appreciate it!" Lisbon said gratefully. "Let me know when you find something, my number is on it as well" she said, pointing towards the paper Stevens was holding.
"No problem" he said friendly and walked away studying the information on the sheet.
Lisbon felt a little more at ease knowing she still had friends at the D.A.'s office and walked away feeling as if a little weight had lifted from her shoulders.
Just when she entered the corridor connecting the D.A.'s office to the CBI, she heard someone walking up to her in a fast pace. When she turned around she looked straight into a pair of dark brown eyes.
Lisbon noticed he must have walked fast. She also noticed they were completely alone.
His brow showed the same frown it had always had before last week.
They stared at each other in silence for a while, and she half-expected him to leave without ever saying anything, but eventually he did speak up.
"What did Stevens want?" Ardiles asked.
Lisbon wanted to sigh, shake her head, roll her eyes or maybe even walk away. She did none of that.
"I asked him to check something for me" she answered instead.
Ardiles noticed her reserved attitude nevertheless and averted his eyes.
"Hm. Okay. Right" he mumbled before he turned around and left as suddenly as he had appeared.
Lisbon shrugged and walked back to the CBI.
When she arrived back at the bullpen, she found Jane lying on his couch with the case file on his stomach. He seemed deep in thought, so Lisbon decided not to disturb him.
Jane had been shaken out if his reverie when the object of his pondering walked back into the bullpen. She went to sit at the table with Rigsby and Van Pelt when they asked if she managed to get anything useful from the D.A.'s office. He heard her answer that she hoped they would be able to give her anything by tomorrow, which Jane for some reason thought to be a good thing, because if Ardiles and she were back to being… 'friendly', he would have made sure she would get all the necessary documents today. This news led him back to the thoughts that had previously occupied his mind.
Because he had been deep in thought, but try as he might, he couldn't keep his thoughts focused on the case. Well, to some degree they were. But more so his thoughts were about Lisbon. And Ardiles. And of his own part in all this, and how everything seemed to be connected these days. It was all things all at once.
Lisbon didn't come over to him. She sat for a little while longer with Rigsby and Van Pelt before she retrieved to her office. It wasn't like he wanted her to come over to him anyway, because all he really wanted was to figure this case out to bring him closer to catching Red John. The only problem was that his mind couldn't stay focused due to the aching desire to be around Lisbon and maybe even ask her about her trip to the D.A.'s office, though he knew she hated that.
After a while he started to feel particularly lonely and frustrated by his inability to keep those thoughts from his mind. He figured he would go over to Lisbon and just plain tell her that her relationship with Ardiles was bothering him, or at least ask her what her relationship with Ardiles was at the moment. Or at least be around her for the remainder of the day.
He tossed the case file away and walked up to Lisbon's office. He entered without knocking, determined to get as close to her as possible, only to find that Ardiles had beat him to it, again.
Lisbon and Ardiles were standing next to each other in front of Lisbon's desk, bending over the case file she held in her hands. Ardiles leaned in so close their conversation was nearly whispered.
Both their heads shot up when Jane entered, but they appeared to have been semi-expecting him. Though the look on their face wasn't one of shock or shame, it didn't make him feel better one bit. Just seeing them together again made him feel agitated and unable to think clearly. And exactly that frustrated him to no end. If it were up to him, he would solely focus on catching Red John and not give a crap about what other people did. Lisbon and Ardiles could be inseparable for all he cared. But it was up to him, and somehow he did care about what Lisbon and Ardiles did. And somehow that proved to be more important than hunting down Red John every single time. For the life of him, he could not understand himself one bit and he didn't want to think about it. At all.
"Ardiles..!" he said somewhat surprised and not at all as sarcastic as he had hoped.
Ardiles turned away from Lisbon to face him. Before he could start, Lisbon quickly interrupted.
"Jane, you have to see this! This is the complete case file from Mary Chapman's prosecution!" she said enthusiastically, eagerly looking from him to Ardiles and quickly back to him.
Jane looked skeptically at the pair in front of him. Eventually, he averted his eyes from Ardiles to Lisbon, who was handing him the case file. He took it and started to read.
"They mention a sister named Susan as well, but her last name is covered, so it suggests that she has a different last name than her sister" Lisbon continued hopeful.
Jane looked up.
"Where did you get this?" he asked her.
"Ardiles just brought it to me, luckily they still kept this on file at the D.A.'s office's archive" Lisbon answered.
"Really now…" Jane mumbled while he tried to focus his thoughts on the text in front of him. Lisbon pursed her lips and waited for him to comment on what the file said. When it stayed silent in the room, she figured she owed Ardiles a thanks.
"Listen, Oscar, thank you very much. This is a really big help. I can't believe that you found this so quickly..!" she said sincerely and heard Jane puff or maybe just cough.
Ardiles didn't change his stoic expression.
"You're welcome. I figured it was rather important. Good thing they kept so much on file from this case. There's a psychological evaluation of the victim somewhere in there as well. I believe they built the case largely on the sister's testimony, so that makes the sister even more suspicious, I reckon" he said.
Lisbon nodded.
"Yeah, we definitely have to find out who she is. Perhaps she knows what Mary had to do with Red John" she said, trying to involve Jane in the conversation as well. It didn't work though. He kept staring at the case file, seemingly lost in thought.
And he was lost in thought. No matter how hard he tried to think all this new information through, it was to no avail. He knew if he could just focus on the case he could have some epiphany within the minute, but he couldn't. He heard Lisbon and Ardiles talk and talk and all he could think was that Ardiles was a much safer choice for Lisbon than him. With Red John still around and active again, his mind kept drifting to what would happen to Lisbon if he were to have feelings for her. But as soon as he drew the conclusion that Lisbon may really be better off with Ardiles, he felt a huge sting of jealousy.
"What I don't understand" Ardiles said, "is why Red John chose to kill her now, instead of all those years ago. I doubt that he felt that she was able to compromise his identity, because no-one believed her stories anyway…"
Lisbon felt relieved that they were able to work together again in a somewhat friendly manner.
"I don't know, he may still have been angry with her for saying that she was Red John when she clearly wasn't. Maybe this was some form of revenge" she mused out loud.
Ardiles frowned. "No, I don't think so. I think if that was the case, he would have killed her much earlier."
"Well, maybe he wasn't able to kill her, since she was locked up at that mental facility almost immediately after she told the police she was responsible for the Red John murders" Lisbon said.
"Of course he would be able to kill her if he wanted to! He did it this time without any problems, and he could have done it then just as easily" Jane suddenly stated with annoyance clear in his voice. He looked up at Lisbon and Ardiles.
"I'm going to read this at my attic" he said and left the room without saying anything else.
Lisbon and Ardiles chose not to comment on his behavior but continued their conversation.
"Maybe he just felt like he didn't have to kill her back then, I mean, with her in a mental facility, everyone would take her even less seriously than when she was dead" Ardiles opted.
"That's true" Lisbon said. "So what has changed since then?"
Ardiles shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe you can find some clues in the file from her trial. And you should really try to find her sister, she might be in danger or maybe even working with Red John herself" he said.
Lisbon kept looking at him, lost in thought, already one step ahead trying to find a way to identify the sister. Only when Ardiles started to talk did she realize she had been staring.
"Something the matter, agent Lisbon?" he asked sarcastically, without breaking their eye-contact.
Lisbon shook her head and looked away. "No, sorry, I was thinking about the sister's last name. Do you have any idea who could have erased it from the file?" she asked without paying attention to the fact that they had been staring at each other.
Ardiles sighed inaudibly and looked down, almost disappointed that she only seemed to want to talk about work.
"I have no idea. I guess they would have to have a high security clearance, but I can't imagine why Susan's last name had to be deleted from the file…" he said.
"Yeah, me neither. Well, I guess I'll start by trying to figure that out. Thank you for the file" Lisbon said, ready to get back to work.
"Right. No problem, any time…" Ardiles said while Lisbon made her way to the door, planning on discussing this new information with the team. When she looked back at him, he seemed hesitant.
"Listen, there was something else" he started and Lisbon felt that familiar blush creeping up again.
"Look," he tried again and reached inside his jacket to fish something from his inside pocket.
"The D.A. wanted me to give this to you. I guess since you've worked closely with our department lately and because of all that stuff with improving the relationship between the CBI and the D.A.'s office… I haven't had the chance to give it to you sooner and I've already told the D.A. that you most likely won't be able to come, with it being on such short notice and the Red John case and all, but he said he would really appreciate it if you could stop by anyway, so…" he trailed off while he handed her a crème-colored envelope.
Lisbon looked from the envelope to him with surprise on her face.
"Well, anyway, you should just see if you can make it" he said plainly and with that he left.
Lisbon opened the envelope to find a personal invitation for the D.A.'s office's annual gala, which turned out to be that night.
She had no idea what to make of it.
Truth be told, she had figured that the biggest surprise of that day had happened earlier in the afternoon, when Ardiles entered her office with the case file she had requested from his colleague, only an hour after she had returned from the D.A.'s office. He had handed her the file, accompanying his actions only with the words: "it's the case file you asked for". His face had showed its usual stoic expression with just a hint of annoyance or boredom or arrogance, or all three combined.
Lisbon had been sincerely thankful and had therefore refused to play his game of who hates whom more. Maybe it was because of that that he had stayed. Lisbon had looked at him, awaiting his actions, but when he didn't move a muscle she decided she would have a look inside the case file. When she started reading, she noticed that Ardiles was slowly making his way to her until he stood really, really close. She felt his gaze on her face and it made her unable to concentrate on reading the case file. Just when she decided to look up at him, he averted his gaze to the page Lisbon had been staring at. He started to tell her about bits in the case file he thought were interesting until Jane had entered.
And now he had invited her to attend the D.A.'s gala. Or handed her the invitation, at least. Because it said nowhere that he wanted her to come. The fact that he had waited until this moment to invite her for a gala that night and the fact that he had told his boss that she probably wouldn't come said enough, Lisbon figured and went to see Van Pelt.
After she told the team of the new information she had received, they immediately started to search for ways to find out the sister's last name. They kept hitting security walls. Neither of their security clearances where high enough to get through them and Van Pelt had no luck bypassing them. Lisbon just started to fear that she might had to visit Wainwright to ask him to get her a higher security clearance, when Van Pelt had a minor breakthrough.
"Boss, I can't see what her last name is and I can't see exactly who has blocked that information, but I did find out that it is someone from the FBI" she told her. Lisbon was glad that they were making progress, although she hated it when other agencies turned out to be involved in her cases, especially if it was a Red John case.
"Good, Van Pelt, you keep trying to get us more information. Cho, Rigsby, I need you to go over to the FBI to find out what their deal is with this case. I'll go see Jane, maybe he has some ideas" Lisbon said.
She passed by her office and thought about the invitation she had put on her desk. It was probably best to just thank the D.A. for the invitation but politely decline and thereby save herself from a lot of last-minute dressing stress, let alone spend the whole night in the proximity of someone who might hate you and who obviously preferred it if she didn't show up.
But perhaps she had to read between the lines, perhaps Ardiles was just being himself… It wouldn't have been the first time that he had acted all indifferent, while he actually didn't feel so indifferent at all. Perhaps he did want her to come. The more she thought about this, the more excited she felt, which she could have written off as nothing more than nerves, were it not for the shy smile that had formed on her face.
When she reached the stairs to the attic, she put all those thoughts away, really not planning on having Jane interfere with all these things again.
Jane lay stretched out on his bed. One arm bended over the top of his head, the other clenching the closed case file on his stomach. Through his window, sunlight shone on his head, lighting up his blonde curls and accentuating the heartbreaking sadness on his face.
He looked every bit like an ancient Greek sculpture.
Lisbon opened her mouth to close it again. Would it be inappropriate if she would lay down beside him? Or would it solve everything? While she tried to come up with a better plan, which proved impossible as long as she kept looking at him, Jane spoke up.
"I don't have anything yet" he said and he sounded as if he was angry.
"Are you angry with me?" Lisbon therefore asked.
He turned his head to face her.
"No" he said softly.
Lisbon nodded and blinked while she broke their eye-contact. She stared out of his window. Jane kept looking at her. Eventually he reached out his arm and offered her his hand. Lisbon put her own hand in his and he carefully pulled her closer. She now stood directly beside his bed, looking down at his face while they were holding hands.
If he would pull her down beside him now, she would stay there forever and not even think about whether or not to go to the D.A.'s gala.
Five minutes later, she found herself in her office again, after standing next to Jane for another minute or so and eventually letting his hand fall back on his bed.
"I'm going home soon," she had said, "I'll see you in the morning."
She said Van Pelt goodnight and texted Rigsby and Cho, without explaining why she was leaving at six instead of ten, like she normally did when they had a Red John case.
She went home and ate dinner by herself. It wasn't until she came out of the shower that she started to feel nervous. While she put on the dark red cocktail dress she luckily had for emergencies like these, she tried hard not to think of Ardiles' reaction the last time she wore a dress. Off course, it was to no avail. To block the image of a stuttering Ardiles in court from her mind, she distracted herself by going over her plan for work tomorrow. She would hear what Cho and Rigsby had found at the FBI, she thought while she applied her makeup. Then she would go over every bit of detail in the file from Mary's trial with Jane. That is, if he had been able to focus his thoughts on the job at hand.
It was normal for him to withdraw when they had a Red John case, as it was normal for him to appear absent-minded. With Red John cases, he alternated between fits and starts of pure, rational brilliance, and all kinds of dark emotions and thoughts. In both cases, she would support him.
But lately, everything was different. Jane was different, she was different. He had been sad and desperate and alone, the brilliant epiphanies failed to appear, and she hadn't been able to support him.
She brushed her hair, put on her the diamond-like jewelry and decided to try again with Jane in the morning.
She took a cab to the party. The large classic building, with broad stairs leading op to the entrance, already buzzed with an air of high society people, looking for a fun night out. When she walked up the stairs she noticed there was already music coming from inside and a lot of the guests had already arrived. Once inside, the coat check girl took her coat and a waiter came to greet her and offered her a glass of champagne while he showed her the buffet and the bars. She thanked him and walked further into the room. It was a large hall, with the highest possible ceilings, largely covered with chandeliers. Large, expensive mirrors hung on the walls. Everyone was dressed sharply. A big band was playing at a stage in the back of the room. The bars were large and showed every possible sort of liquor.
People were all talking in little groups and she noticed that there seemed to be only a handful of people who weren't older than her. Not spotting someone she knew right away, she felt a little out of place. While she walked further into the room, she brushed her hands over her dress, whishing she would have gone for a black or dark blue dress, anything that wouldn't stand out so much. She figured it wasn't helping that she was standing in the centre of the room, so she searched the place for more covert spots. She found a bar at the back of the room and decided that even though she was still sipping from her glass of champagne, it would be the best place to survive this night without feeling all too uncomfortable. She would stand there for a while, watching the crowd, maybe make a few courtesy chats and if she didn't spot anyone familiar, she would leave after an hour. That should be doable, she thought while she neared the bar and asked herself why she even had bothered to come in the first place.
The answer to that question presented itself when Lisbon had almost reached her safe place for the evening. The tuxedo-clad, dark-haired man standing at the bar turned around with two cocktails in his hands she remembered from their night out. She stopped dead in her tracks, only a few yards away from him.
He hadn't spotted her though and the cocktails turned out to be for the two blonde girls at his side. They giggled and played with their hair while they started sipping from their drinks. He smiled and turned back to the bar to grab his glass of whisky. When he turned around again, he immediately spotted her. They held each other's stares for what seemed like an eternity, and Lisbon started to fear that she had misread his intentions with the invitation earlier today. Though a lot less obvious than the last time he saw her in a dress, she eventually noticed him looking her up and down, which gave her the slightest hint of hope.
But he didn't come to her, he didn't speak up, he didn't even smile at her. At that moment she had no idea what he did or didn't want from her and frankly she had no idea what she did or didn't want from him. Uncertain of what to do with the situation and already starting to feel like an idiot to dress up and come here when he clearly wasn't expecting her, she hesitantly waved at him, hoping to find out how he felt about her tonight.
In return, he nodded at her and broke their eye-contact, focusing his attention on the blondes beside him. She felt hurt and insecure and decided to leave right away. Her only reason for being her tonight was… was to improve the relationship with the D.A.'s office once more, but if… the D.A.'s office acted so indifferent to… the CBI, she was out of here. Leave it to him and his mood swings to be… abysmal. Though he had been horrible to her the last few days, he seemed to have come around this afternoon when he brought her that file, but apparently she had been mistaken when judging his intentions with the invitation.
While she made her way to the exit, the D.A. himself came to greet her.
"Agent Lisbon, it's so good to see you!" he said cheerfully and Lisbon managed to smile.
"You look beautiful, doesn't she darling?" the older man asked his wife. His wife nodded friendly.
"Mr. Jackson, it's good to see you to!" she said enthusiastically while she shook his hand.
"This is my wife Meredith. Meredith, this is agent Teresa Lisbon with the California Bureau of Investigation" he introduced them and Lisbon politely shook the other woman's hand.
"Ah, with the CBI, wow… So do you work closely with the D.A.'s office then?" the D.A.'s wife asked her.
"Yes" the D.A. said, still very cheerful. "Agent Lisbon has been work shadowing with one of our guys over the last few weeks," he explained to his wife, "and it was a pleasure to have you, agent Lisbon" he said, directing his attention back to her.
Lisbon hated these kind of social networking chit-chats, but knew that that, in fact, was the true reason she should attend this gala, so she played along.
"Thank you, it was my pleasure. And thank you by the way for tonight's invitation" she said a little over the top, although the D.A. and his wife didn't seem to notice.
"Thank you for being here!" he laughed. "Although we should really thank mr. Ardiles. He suggested it to me yesterday, since you had been working together so closely, and I thought it was a wonderful idea!" he explained.
Lisbon couldn't help but look over her shoulder at Ardiles who was still talking to those girls, who seemed to be laughing about everything he said and she wondered what on earth it was that he wanted.
She made some small talk with the D.A. and his wife who were soon joined by a man slightly older than the D.A., accompanied by his wife and presumably their son. The two wives happily greeted each other and soon distanced themselves from the group to chat some in private. The D.A. patted the older man on his back and shook the son's hand.
"Wow, look at you Jason, a real Colonel! Congratulations, my boy!" he said, seeming genuinely proud and impressed. The guy, almost eight inches taller than his father and the D.A. smiled friendly and shook the D.A.'s hand.
The D.A. then turned to Lisbon.
"Agent Lisbon, may I introduce you to my old friend John Stuart and his son, Marine Corps Colonel Jason Stuart. Jason, John, this is C.B.I. agent Teresa Lisbon."
Lisbon shook both their hands and smiled friendly.
"God, John, it is good to see you! How have you been?" the D.A. asked his old time friend, who started telling him all the news he had missed. Lisbon was only able to get half of the stories, as they were mostly inside jokes, but it didn't go unnoticed by her that the D.A.'s friend hated that his son was still single. The colonel tried to smile it away and waited patiently beside his father, but Lisbon saw that he felt really embarrassed.
"So, did you become a colonel recently?" she asked him, mostly out of pity, but when he smiled a broad smile she noticed that he wasn't so badly looking. He had the standard marine haircut, with graying blonde hair, a sharp jaw and perfect teeth. His friendly, light grey eyes were looking straight at her when he spoke.
"Not really, I've been a colonel for almost four years now, but it's the first time since then that I saw Derek again" he said friendly, referring to the D.A. "It sure is good to see him again."
Lisbon smiled. "So how do you know our D.A.?" she asked, mostly to make a polite conversation.
"He's been a friend to our family ever since I was a little boy. I think I can honestly say that from all the people my father supports, he likes what Derek here does with the D.A.'s office best. That's why he always makes sure that whenever the D.A.'s office is planning a party, or a fundraiser, or whatever, they get the very best there is…" the colonel said and took a sip from his drink.
Lisbon couldn't help but raise her eyebrows at little. Was he bragging about his father bribing the D.A.? She decided it was best to leave it and opted for another conversation topic.
"So, colonel, I guess you must be very dedicated to the Corps?" she asked.
"Yes, of course. The Marine Corps is my life," he started with a serious look on his face and continued to orate about his life as a marine colonel. Although his work was obviously very impressing, after listening to him for almost fifteen minutes straight, Lisbon started to wonder how long he was planning on continuing. When her glass was empty, she nearly interrupted him to get a refill, when he suddenly lowered his voice to a more intimate level.
"The only problem is that it's hard to combine work with a personal life," he said, "but I guess that goes for you and me both…" he trailed off, smiling slightly while looking her in the eye.
Lisbon didn't really know how to respond, so she decided to laugh it off as a joke.
The colonel laughed with her, leaving her still clueless as to what he had meant with his previous comment.
The two older men had long gone elsewhere, and Lisbon wasn't really planning on spending an entire evening with the colonel, so she took this opportunity to get away.
"I'm going to get something to drink, can I get you anything?" she offered, already having checked his half full glass.
"No, thanks, I'm good. But I'll walk with you" he answered with a smile on his face, while Lisbon forced a smile of her own.
Lisbon made sure to lead them to another bar than she previously had spotted Ardiles. After ordering, she tried to keep a friendly conversation going, waiting for the right moment to leave without offending anyone. While Lisbon sipped from her drink and tried to have a conversation with the colonel they both would enjoy, Ardiles was watching them closely, not liking this new development one bit.
He took a sip from his drink and thought about how the evening had started. He had arrived a little early at the party, to make sure he would spot Lisbon when she entered. He had decided against picking her up and making it seem like a date, to avoid any disappointment, but as more and more of his colleagues had entered and Lisbon still hadn't arrived, his mood had started to drop.
After a while, he went to talk to his friends to lift his spirits. They soon noticed his foul mood and started asking questions, if not to find the truth then at least to tease him a little.
"So, Oscar, did anything happen between you and agent Lisbon?" Marc asked.
"Yeah..!" Stan agreed. "Tell us what happened!"
They all laughed, but waited for him to answer, which he obviously wasn't planning on doing. So he laughed along and drank from his glass of champagne.
His friend were watching him closely and he knew that whatever he said or did wouldn't matter, because they would decide for themselves what had happened.
He shrugged, almost uncharacteristically shy.
The others took their time to interpret this shrug, but eventually started laughing again.
"No! He didn't do it!"
"Nooo, of course he didn't!"
"Ahh, poor guy..!"
"Well, too bad, eh?"
Ardiles forced himself to smile for a second before he took off to talk to the two young blondes at the bar.
Not long after, Lisbon had arrived, looking more beautiful than ever. She waved at him and he felt the urge to go talk to her and leave the two girls at the bar behind. But at the same time, his hurt feelings stopped him from doing just that. He had no idea what she did or didn't want from him and frankly he had no idea what he did or didn't want from her. So he nodded and focused his attention back on the girls, hoping that he would find an answer to those questions later that evening.
Well, he hadn't yet, but judging by the looks of it, there was someone else in the room who knew just exactly what he wanted from Lisbon. And they were enjoying themselves, judging from the fact that they had seemed inseparable ever since they met.
In reality, Lisbon wasn't enjoying herself all that much. Though she thought the colonel was nice, he was also absolutely not her type. And even if he was, the last thing she needed was another man in her life to complicate things further. So when he excused himself after a while to deliver a speech on stage, Lisbon felt utterly relieved. She looked over at the exit, and with most of the people gathering around the stage, it seemed like the perfect moment to sneak out early and just go home as she had planned earlier. That wouldn't be rude at all, she thought to herself. Even better, no-one would notice… And she had said hi to Ardiles. She figured that there was no chance of her quickly chatting with him before she left, so she should just go.
While she was still weighing her options, Ardiles' friends had already spotted her, standing alone. They joined her, offering her a drink, which she declined friendly. She smiled at their slick attitudes, which they seemed to take as a compliment. And even though they were a little slick and over-the-top, Lisbon couldn't say they weren't nice company. They chatted about all kinds of things and Lisbon really enjoyed herself. Much to her surprise, they managed to refrain from bringing up Ardiles until half an hour later.
"Teresa, you're gonna have to tell us what it was like to work with our Oscar..!" Marc Stevens asked.
"Spare no details!" Victor Goodman added.
"I mean, he went with you on an actual field case, right? I can't imagine what that would've looked like!" Joe Velasco laughed.
Lisbon laughed, more because how hard the others laughed, but also a little bit because the memories of working with Ardiles made her smile.
"Well, I can say that he seemed quite impressed by our field work, the closer we came to the crime scene, the more modest he became..." Lisbon joked.
The others laughed.
"Our tough little man, always the biggest mouth in the office, being put in his place by agent Teresa Lisbon! How do you like that!" Marc laughed.
"I can't believe how you managed to work with him, I mean, did he even cooperate at all, or did he have to be Mr. Know-it-all all the time?" Joe asked.
Lisbon laughed because she knew the others meant no harm talking about Ardiles this way, they were just trying to tease him a little.
"God, you have no idea how many times I asked myself how on earth I was going to manage working with him!" Lisbon answered, unaware that the subject of their conversation had actually started listening in from the first moment they dropped his name and was now standing right behind the group.
"But eventually it did work out for some reason…" Lisbon added, thinking back at the time when they were finally able to work together somewhat decently.
"Yeah, how did you manage to do that?" Marc asked, and Lisbon wondered if he was implying something.
Lisbon hoped she wasn't blushing to obviously.
"I guess we both decided to just act professionally…" she answered, quickly taking a sip from her drink.
"Really?" Joe asked sarcastically. "Professionally, huh?"
Lisbon nearly choked on her drink and wondered what exactly Ardiles had told them. Luckily, right then Ardiles decided that it was time to make his presence known and thereby saving them both.
"Yes, professionally" he stated, drawing the attention of the surprised group. "You guys should try it too" he said, effectively ending their speculation and shutting them up.
Lisbon was quite impressed by the way he handled this, but felt a little ashamed that she had talked about him behind his back. Ardiles didn't seem to mind though.
"Agent Lisbon and I got instructions from higher up to work on the relationship between the CBI and the D.A.'s office and we did our jobs the best possible way we could. Both our bosses were satisfied, so now we can go back to doing our own jobs with more insight in each others', isn't that right, agent Lisbon?" he asked, looking at her.
Lisbon was even more impressed. This was the most professional attitude he had shown her since… since… ever! It seemed as if he finally had gotten over the whole thing and just acted as a good colleague. Lisbon had expected that this would make her feel better and relieved, but somehow it didn't.
"Yes" she said, a little taken off guard by his sudden change in attitude and therefore far from convincing.
Before she could start to think about what her lack of relief meant, Ardiles made sure she had no reason to believe he had gotten over anything, at all.
"As for my personal opinion on the whole work shadowing thing, I'm glad it is over. You might think that I'm hard to work with, but agent Lisbon isn't one to cooperate with easily as well. It may have been fun at some point, but it shouldn't have lasted any longer" he said somewhat bitterly and not as all as cheerful and teasingly as the atmosphere had been earlier. He gulped down his drink and put his glass down at the bar, before walking away from the group, leaving a stunned Lisbon.
After Ardiles' display, there was an awkward silence among the group. No-one really knew what to say. Lisbon fought hard to keep a smile on her face, trying to dismiss Ardiles' behavior as teasing, but failed.
Marc noticed it. "Ah don't take it personally, he's probably just pissed off that you didn't sleep with him..!" he joked, trying to lighten the mood. The others laughed half-heartedly.
Lisbon didn't. She frowned and kept thinking about all the times he had hurt her for no apparent reason. She had had it with him and his maladjusted behavior. He had no right to hurt her the way he did.
She looked up at the men standing around her.
"Excuse me" she said and without awaiting their response stormed off in the same direction Ardiles had.
She found him at one of the most crowded bars. He leaned against the bar, trying to get the barkeeper's attention. She could just spot the smug look on his face when he looked sideways to see if there were any attractive women around. Lisbon stopped right behind him and frowned. He didn't seem to notice her or didn't seem to care to turn around, which annoyed her even more. Grabbing his arm, she turned him around and looked straight into his shocked/annoyed face. She pulled him away from the bar to a more quiet corner.
"What the hell are you doing?" Ardiles asked.
Lisbon's eyes flared with anger.
"I could ask you the same question!" she spit back.
"What are you talking about?!" Ardiles responded, getting more worked up.
"I'm talking about that scene you made just now" Lisbon answered.
"I made a scene?! That's precious!" he laughed sarcastically.
"Why do you have to insult me every time we meet? Why do you act like a jerk around me all the time?!" Lisbon asked, visibly upset.
Ardiles looked up, an annoyed smile on his face, sighing audibly. "I have no idea what you're talking about… I don't know where you would get that idea" he responded.
Lisbon got even more annoyed. "Cut the crap, Oscar!" she nearly yelled.
She didn't know whether it was the yelling or the use of his first name that got his attention, but he was now looking her in the eyes and his smile had faltered.
"Was it because of what I said about working with you to your colleagues?" Lisbon asked. "Because if so, I'm really sorry, I was just joking…"
Ardiles cut her sort. "No, it's not that! It's nothing. It's…" he started, but eventually broke their eye-contact. "I just wasn't planning on acting all sugar sweet just because we completed Wainwright's assignment…" he said while looking right past her.
Before Lisbon could respond, he continued. "Anyway, there comes your new friend. Have fun, I'll leave you two alone" he said before he walked away.
When Lisbon turned around, she nearly bumped into a uniform-clad man.
"Miss Lisbon!" he smiled friendly.
It cost here all the effort in the world to force her to smile back and she decided that her foul mood was caused completely by the fact that the colonel kept calling her 'miss' Lisbon.
"Colonel, hi. Actually, it's agent Lisbon" she said much more harshly than she had intended. "But you can call me Teresa" she quickly added when she noticed the startled look on his face. She cursed herself inwardly for encouraging him, because he was now smiling as if he had won the lottery and she feared he may never leave her side.
"Okay. Teresa. You can call me Jason" he said, smiling at her as if this was a really intimate thing.
Lisbon just smiled a fake smile back at him. She couldn't stop thinking about Ardiles and the way he behaved around her. Ever since their work shadowing ended, he had been rude to her. Only two weeks ago she would have dismissed it as him being his normal self, but over the past week she had experienced a much nicer side of him. Only thinking back of their nights out-
Her thoughts were cut short by Jason.
"Teresa? Are you okay, you seem distracted?"
Lisbon blinked. "Yes, yeah, I'm okay, I'm sorry…"
Jason tried to look her in the eye. "You sure? Does it have anything to do with that man that just left? Who was he? Did he want anything from you?"
"Yeah, no, it has nothing to do with him, he's nobody, I'm sorry" she quickly responded.
Jason didn't really buy it, but decided to change the subject.
"So what did you think about my speech?" he asked and Lisbon realized she hadn't listened to his speech at all.
She smiled her most charming smile. "Yes..! It was really good, perfect!" she said and downed her drink.
She knew he must have thought that she was an alcoholic, but frankly couldn't care much. In all honesty, it wasn't that he was such an awful guy, but tonight she just couldn't use his company. She needed some time alone to figure out what to do with Ardiles.
"You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to" Jason said, "but I can tell there's something bothering you."
Lisbon offered him an apologetic smile.
"Then can I get you anything to drink?" he offered friendly.
"Thank you, I would like that. I think I'll just take an orange juice, please" she said and smiled thankfully.
As soon as Jason tried to make his way through the crowd to get to the bar, he encountered some people that seem to recognize him. He greeted them and immediately waved for Lisbon to join them. She knew she must have looked sad, standing alone in a dark corner, but frankly she wished she would get some time alone tonight before Ardiles would leave.
Eventually, she walked over to the group of three, which consisted of a man and two women. Jason introduced them but Lisbon didn't pay much attention. They sounded like a bunch of wannabe's to her who were hoping to look interesting by being seen with a Marine colonel. The women took a special interest in him, as she soon found out and she didn't mind one bit.
After a little while she excused herself from the party and walked over to the storey-high, open doors that led to a large stone balcony. When she walked outside she noticed that the air wasn't as hot anymore as it had been a few weeks ago, but she still found it pleasant enough. She walked over to a stone bench just around to corner and sat down. There was a slight breeze that made the hem of her skirt tickle against her knees and made her hair graze her face every now and then.
All in all she decided she shouldn't have come tonight. It had been an insensitive thing to do, going out partying while Jane was suffering because of the Red John case, and karma had come to bite her in the ass.
But still, Ardiles didn't care much for Jane's feelings, so he had no reason to behave with her like he did. She came here because he had invited her, and he had been nothing but rude to her the whole night. She knew she should just go home and never think of him again, but somehow she wished she could talk to him one more time and maybe have a good time like they had had as well.
From afar, Ardiles had been watching her when she walked away from that obnoxious military guy. After his falling out with Lisbon, he had decided to avoid thinking about it for the rest of the night and had found one of the two girls he had been chatting with earlier again. She hadn't been too pleased about his absent-minded behavior earlier, to be topped by him walking away from them to join another group of people, but he had promised her it was all sorted now and that he would very much enjoy spending the rest of the evening with her. It seemed that she had forgiven him, as she started to gossip about her friend leaving the party with a guy they just met. Ardiles had tried to pay attention to her story and completely ignore every possible thought of Lisbon, but it was impossible for him to ignore the image of the most beautiful woman at the party making her way to the balcony alone and seemingly sad. As soon as he spotted the petite woman in her red dress in the corner of his eye, all his attention was focused on her. She seemed so alone as she hesitantly stepped onto the balcony. She went to sit on the bench and looked down. Her dark curls waved in the wind, softly caressing her pale face. Her arms were bare and even though he was standing fifty feet away from her he swore she had goose bumps. He wanted nothing more than to apologize and make up with her so he could hold her and make her feel warm and happy again.
"Oscar!" he suddenly heard and he snapped his head in the direction where the sound was coming from. He was greeted by Lindsey's angry face.
"Oscar! What is it with you? Am I boring you? Is that it? Because if it is, I will go..!" she said theatrically.
He apologized quickly. "No, Lindsey, of course not! I'm sorry, you were saying..?" he said, urging her to continue. But even as he said it, he turned his head to look at Lisbon.
"What is going on? Ever since that woman entered you've been nothing but distracted!" Lindsey huffed aggrievedly.
Ardiles turned back for a second in an effort to excuse himself as a proper gentleman, but he failed miserably. "Excuse me" he mumbled while he started walking towards the lonely, red figure outside, never averting his eyes from her.
With only ten feet to go before he would reach the balcony, he halted for a moment to think about what he was going to say. He inhaled deeply, but just when he knew what to do when he reached her, he saw the marine intercepting his course and reaching his goal long before him. Ardiles watched him putting on his marine hat before walking over to Lisbon.
Ardiles sighed a long sigh. He watched the other man talking to her and when she talked back, he turned around and headed for the bar, his shoulders slumped, where Lindsey was of course no longer to be found. As if he cared, he thought while he ordered himself a whisky.
Meanwhile, Jason had walked up to Lisbon and was standing in front of her.
"I'm sorry I didn't get you that orange juice" he said.
Lisbon smiled slightly. "That's okay" she responded.
"So how about we'll get one now?" he asked.
Lisbon sighed.
"Or do you want to stay out here a bit longer?" he quickly added.
Lisbon looked up at him.
"Are you cold? Do you want my jacket?" he offered.
"I think I just want to go home" Lisbon said
Jason stayed silent for a while, but nodded.
"Okay. Would you let me escort you to your cab?" he asked.
Lisbon smiled. "Yes. Thank you."
He offered her his hand, which she took and he guided her back inside. They walked to the exit together, where Lisbon asked the coat check girl for her coat. Jason waited with her, while an awkward silence ensued.
"I'm sorry I can't escort you back to your house, believe me, I would love to, but I promised my father I would escort my mother home when she wants to leave" Jason said.
"That's alright, I can handle myself" Lisbon smiled.
"Right" he said.
Just when the coat check girl came back with Lisbon's coat, she heard Ardiles calling her name while he came walking up to her in a fast pace.
"Teresa!"
"Oscar?"
He came to a sudden halt in front of the pair.
"Hi" he said while he looked at her, sounding suddenly very shy.
"Hi" Lisbon smiled a little insecure smile.
"So, you're leaving?" he asked, looking from Lisbon to the colonel. Not long after he had started sipping his whisky back at the bar, he saw Lisbon and the colonel leaving together. Somehow that upset him enough to shut his stupid pride up and before he knew it he had started to walk towards them. As if the idea of Lisbon leaving wasn't disappointing enough, it now seemed that she was leaving with another guy.
He awaited her response to his question with much suspense. He noticed that she seemed hesitant.
"Sir, the lady is going home. I'll make sure she'll get in the cab safely, if you would excuse us" Jason told him sternly.
Even though he was a great deal taller than him, Ardiles didn't seem impressed at all. He turned to throw him an annoyed look for just a second before focusing his attention back at Lisbon.
"Are you not feeling well?"Ardiles asked tentatively, knowing full well that her leaving early had everything to do with the way he behaved.
"No, not really" Lisbon softly answered, leaving the colonel wondering why she didn't just ditch this guy.
Ardiles saw the hurt in her eyes and cursed himself for thinking that hurting her the way she had hurt him would solve anything.
"I'm sorry" he said. "I was actually hoping that you might do me the honor of dancing with me before you leave…" he asked, as always surprising everyone with his boldness.
Jason was just planning on saying something when Lisbon noticed that for the first time tonight she felt good.
It was ridiculous. He was a jerk and a douche bag who deserved to be ignored for weeks after tonight, but somehow she wanted nothing more than to dance with him.
She looked at Jason, who looked back at her with an incredulous expression. Then she looked back at Ardiles, whose hopeful eyes made her decision so much easier.
"Okay" she said, her wounded pride telling her to hold back her smile.
Ardiles did smile and grabbed her hand so when they walked over to the dance floor they were holding hands, leaving the colonel flabbergasted.
The band had started playing Charles Aznavour's classic She when they arrived at the dance floor and Ardiles went to stand in front of her. They stood still for a moment, looking at each other as if it was the first time they met.
Without averting his eyes, Ardiles slowly but steadily reached for her hand and placed it at the top of his chest, quickly slipping his arm behind her back, pulling her closer while their other hands found each other.
While they danced, all they wanted was to be close to each other, but there was still so much lingering hurt. They saw it reflected in each others' eyes and it killed them both to see it, so they averted their gaze.
As Lisbon looked down at their simultaneously moving feet, she was glad that they were now able to spend time together without arguing and she wished it would never end.
They had been moving together slowly for a few minutes when she heard Ardiles inhale as if he was about to speak up loudly, but when he spoke it was just barely above a whisper.
"Why did you leave without saying anything on Sunday?" he asked, sounding sad and insecure. Lisbon didn't have to think about what he was talking about, even though he hadn't put it into words. Suddenly, she totally understood where all his behavior had came from and she felt the pain it had caused him.
"I… I don't know…" she responded. She felt like she had been utterly insensitive with him the last few days so she should be able to give him more of an explanation than this. "I guess I was afraid that it would be awkward… and then I saw what time it was and I still had the initial case report to write…" she rambled and found herself being really nervous. "I just didn't know what to do at the time…" she concluded.
They were both silent for a while, trying to get their nerves under control. Eventually Ardiles spoke up.
"Frankly, it was quite a disappointment…" he started, trying to sound casual and light, but Lisbon heard him getting emotional. "…When I woke up and you where gone. Because I had wanted to see how things would go and I thought you felt the same…" he said and Lisbon suddenly felt the overwhelming desire to hug him, so she let the hand that had previously rested on his chest wander to the back of his shoulder and pulled him closer to her.
Ardiles noticed it and tried to make a joke to ease the tension, hoping he wasn't upsetting her too much. "As you know I'm a little sensitive about people leaving me without telling" he joked, but even as he said it, his smile faltered. Lisbon remembered what he had told about his parents and it made her feel so, so stupid.
"Oscar I am so, so sorry" she said, "God, I'm so sorry!"
She had never been so glad to hold this man in her arms.
He said nothing but Lisbon heard him swallow loudly.
"I'm glad you're here now" he responded after a while. "And I am really sorry for being so cold and mean to you. I didn't mean it and I shouldn't have done it and I'm sorry" he told her, which made her feel warm and happy.
They danced closely for a while, basking in the feeling of being at peace with each other for the first time since their sleepover. The band had started playing more upbeat songs. After some time, Ardiles spoke up softly.
"It was hard for me, being a jerk to you, you know" he said and looked at her with his smile firmly in place.
"I doubt that" Lisbon teased.
"No it's true, when I'm being mean to you, you look like a little bird that fell out of its nest" he said and tried to look as sincerely as possible, secretly enjoying this conversation to no end.
"No I don't!" Lisbon responded.
"I mean it, I felt like I was kicking a little puppy!" he joked, and Lisbon laughed at the ridiculous idea of her looking like a little bird or a puppy.
"Earlier tonight, when you came to greet me and you looked so beautiful, I just wanted to go after you and hug you" he added, unable to stop himself from getting serious again.
Lisbon blushed from his uncharacteristic sweet talking.
Ardiles smiled. He got a mischievous glint in his eye and without warning he twirled Lisbon around so when she turned back she landed against his chest. He put both his arms around her and started dancing more like they had on their previous nights out. While he moved them around, holding her close to him, Lisbon felt her face redden.
"I don't think we're suppose to dance like this in here…" she whispered, not knowing where to look, afraid that all the eyes in the crowd were fixed upon them.
Ardiles smiled and looked at her bowed head, trying to see her face. He placed a finger under her chin and lifted her face up so he could look her in the eye. He noticed the redness in her cheeks and the shyness in her big, beautiful green eyes. She smiled nervously. His face was now so close to hers and she knew that even though she already felt embarrassed dancing like this in this crowd, she wouldn't stop him if he kissed her.
Luckily, Ardiles had noticed her discomfort. After staring into her eyes for a moment longer, he just mumbled "yeah, you're right" and he started moving them towards the balcony. They danced until they reached the end of the dance floor and after that Ardiles held both her hands while they made their way to the open doors. He kept looking at her, walking backwards and never letting more than a few inches of space between them.
They were alone on the balcony and Ardiles used it to pull her close and dance like he wanted to. Lisbon laughed at the total disinterest he showed for the appropriate manners at his own office gala. They danced freely for a while, completely disregarding the people inside. Though it was just innocent twirling and dipping at first, Ardiles soon added a little more hip movement and his hands started to wander. Lisbon acted as if she found it embarrassing, but when he immediately took a step back as not to overstep any boundaries, she pulled him close to her. When he immediately started dancing again, holding her body close to his, Lisbon smiled a broad smile. Secretly, she had always loved the lack of self-restraint he had shown around her. It had something genuine and passionate and it made her feel special.
Not long after, he moved them around the balcony so they were just around the corner of the doors, out of everyone's sight. When he softly pushed her against the wall, Lisbon had an idea of what he was about to happen, but she couldn't believe he would actually dare to kiss her with all his superiors being able to walk in on them any minute. She had never seen herself as the kind of woman to be pushed against a wall before kissed passionately by a bold man, but there she was, with absolutely no idea what to do next.
Knowing that her face tended to look even more vulnerable and helpless than she felt in these situations, she started to look around, carefully avoiding looking at Ardiles in hopes of distracting herself from the simmering tension between them. She noticed Ardiles didn't feel so uncomfortable and kept looking at her with an amused smile on his face. She smiled back shortly and hoped against hope that it would look casual and not as nervous as she felt. Checking his response, she immediately noticed him smiling to himself, trying to refrain from breaking out a full blown grin. Slightly annoyed and embarrassed, she quickly averted her eyes again.
It was when she was just studying the vines of ivy growing beside her on the wall that Ardiles stepped even closer to her, their bodies nearly touching. The action drew her attention away from the plant and to his face just long enough to see that his amused expression had been replaced with a look of want, before he kissed her.
And she enjoyed it. He placed his hands on her waist and she put her arms around his neck. They kissed so passionately that neither of them thought about whether this was such a good idea. If it were up to them, it would last forever, but the only few smokers at the party hadn't taken their wish into account when they decided that this was a good time for a cigarette. Ardiles and Lisbon broke off their kiss abruptly when they heard the group approach. Ardiles quickly took a step back and looked away from the party that had entered the balcony, to avoid looking conspicuous. Lisbon looked down for the same reason, while she felt her heart racing and her face redden. The men greeted them nevertheless and Lisbon found herself greeting them back, suddenly being able to sound convincingly casual. This made Ardiles look back at her with a highly amused face, which caused her to laugh out loud. Even when Ardiles joined her, the smokers didn't seem to pay any attention to them and it became pretty obvious that they were way too drunk to have noticed anything compromising.
To not take any risks, Ardiles remained on a decent distance from her. They looked at each other, trying to decided how to go from here. When a smile started to form on Ardiles' lips eventually, Lisbon knew he had come up with something.
"If I remember correctly, the lady was going home?" he asked, referring to what the colonel had said to him earlier.
Lisbon laughed, having completely forgotten that awkward moment.
"Yes, that's right," she said after pulling a serious face, "but you held me from doing so."
Ardiles showed his most earnest face. "I'm very sorry about that. Then please let me make it up to you by escorting you to your cab in safety" he said, mocking the way the colonel had tried to impress Lisbon. He offered her his hand, but Lisbon smiled and pushed him aside, walking away herself. Ardiles quickly followed suit. While they made their way through the crowd to the exit, they tried not to attract any attention, since they were leaving, early, together and Ardiles knew that the son of his boss' best friend had shown an interest in Lisbon. He knew they had failed miserably though when he heard the loud laughter of his colleagues behind them. Without turning around, he threw his hand in the air to wave them goodnight, which caused another round of laughter that ended long after they had arrived at the exit. Lisbon went to get her jacket from the annoyed coat check girl, who had been holding her jacket for nearly half an hour without knowing when or if Lisbon would come back.
Ardiles had waited for her and grabbed her hand when she was ready. They couldn't wait to get away and go somewhere private, so they nearly ran down the stairs in front of the building. There were taxi's waiting. Ardiles held the door for her and got in quickly after Lisbon. When they were seated, they were both grinning like idiots.
"Where to?" the driver asked, not sharing their giddy mood.
Lisbon didn't hesitate for a moment and told him her address, to prove to Ardiles that she wouldn't leave again.
They couldn't keep their eyes off of each other. After a while, Ardiles moved over to her so his face was less than an inch away from hers. They kissed again and Lisbon thought to herself that she loved his kisses. They weren't interrupted by anyone, so when their kiss ended, Ardiles smoothly went from kissing her lips to kissing her cheeks and her nose and her eyes. He showered her face with kisses until her lips reclaimed his again. They wanted to pull each other closer, but the seatbelts prevented it. A deep yearning to feel all of each other's bodies started to form inside them. Knowing full well that that want wouldn't be satisfied during the car ride, they tried to cool themselves down and take it slow, which meant soft, slow kisses and only letting their hands touch each other's hair and neck. But that, combined with what they saw when they opened their eyes, just added to their burning desire.
Eventually, they found themselves standing in front of Lisbon's door, the taxi long gone, with a whole night ahead of them. Ardiles looked at Lisbon, at her bright green eyes, filled with desire; her parted lips, still swollen from their making out; the blushes on her cheeks that contrasted with the light skin, only covered up by the sexy dark red dress she was wearing. When she took a step closer to him and planted her hands on his chest, he swallowed audibly. Very aware of the fact that during the whole night they had never actually talked about him spending the night with her, he didn't dare to make the first step. He was just seriously beginning to fear a kiss on the cheek and a 'goodnight', when her fingers stared to go through his already disheveled hair. When she also licked her lips slightly, he couldn't contain himself any longer.
Pulling her body close to him, his kissed her feverishly until he was sure she wouldn't be able to say goodnight yet. And she wasn't. She tried to fish her keys from her purse as quickly as possible and wished she had cleaned up inside before she had left. Already smiling apologetically at him, he kissed her while she fumbled with the key in the lock until it opened. As soon as the door swung open, Ardiles swept her up in his arms and moved them inside, trying to kick the door shut but not really caring whether he succeeded or not, because he was finally where he wanted to be. He doubted for a second whether he should take a moment to see how her house looked from the inside, but decided he could always take a look in the morning so he could now focus all his attention on the gorgeous woman in his arms. They stumbled further inside while he kissed her neck and she stroke the back of his head. He let his hands wander over her bare arms while she fumbled with the button on his jacket.
With every bit of each other's body their hands touched, their kisses became more passionate and intense. They yearned to feel each other, to be close to each other. It felt as if their love making had to make up for all the hurt they had caused each other. Lisbon tried to guide them towards her bedroom, but felt somewhat disoriented by the feeling of Ardiles loving her like he did. Eventually, they fell down on a couch, which seemed to do fine for the moment.
It was dark in the house, but since the couch stood next to the window and the curtains were open, some light managed to shine inside. Ardiles lay half on top of Lisbon while he looked down at her body and face. He smiled because he felt so happy to be able to hold and kiss her again. Lisbon saw it and smiled as well, for the exact same reason. She was just planning on kissing him again, when she saw his smile falter.
"Promise me you will still be here tomorrow?" he asked and though it was hard to see with only the dim light coming from outside, it seemed as if he felt embarrassed by his own question.
Lisbon smiled lovingly. "Yes, I promise, of course! Promise me you won't leave tomorrow to get back at me?" she asked, and though she meant for it to come out jokingly, it sounded far more serious.
"I promise" he whispered right before he kissed her.
They continued their making out on the couch for some time longer before they finally made their way to the bedroom for a night of passionate and tender love making.
During that same evening, Jane had been laying on a couch as well; completely and utterly alone.
After Lisbon had left that afternoon, he had come down from his attic to seek some company. Van Pelt had been there and had tried to make conversation with him, but as he soon found, the things that were occupying his mind weren't things to be discussed. They were thoughts of Red John, and how it was possible that he wasn't able to crack this case, even worse, how it was possible that he wasn't even able to focus on this case. And then there were thoughts of Lisbon. Thoughts of his feelings for Lisbon. Thoughts of her feelings for him. Thoughts of her feelings for Ardiles and there you go, the vicious circle was round. So Van Pelt had quickly gathered that it was no use trying to talk to him, because he wouldn't say what was bothering him, but he wouldn't talk about anything else either.
She had gone home as well. Cho and Rigsby had returned and left, after which he was completely alone. And for the first since a long time, he actually felt that way. Hours went by and he felt lonelier with every minute that passed. His thoughts remained the same, no matter how hard he tried to change them. What if Lisbon would actually fall in love with Ardiles? Would he curse himself for not telling her how he felt? Should he let them be happy with each other? Did Lisbon have feelings for Ardiles? Did she have feelings for him..?
Eventually, he got so frustrated with his own mind and the pettiness of his thoughts that he jumped up from the couch, determined to distract himself. As he started wandering around the bullpen, he saw nothing that could take his mind of those unanswered questions in his head. He walked to Lisbon's office, hoping it might still be open so he could snoop around a bit, which would both distract him and maybe answer some of those questions. The door was locked.
He figured he might as well go back to his attic, perhaps it would make him feel less lonely, even though he already knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. Luckily for him, when he walked over to his bed, he noticed the current Red John case file lying on it. At least he didn't have to try to fall asleep the entire night, he thought. So he threw himself down on his bed and started to read it again.
Who was she? Who was Mary Chapman? What happened to the rest of her family? How did she know Red John? The onset of schizophrenia mostly occurs after a traumatic, stressful event. Was her family murdered by Red John? Could be. Why did she say she was Red John? Survivors guilt perhaps…
God, now he was just guessing..! He threw the file on the ground next to his bed and got up, annoyed and frustrated.
"That still doesn't explain the mystery sister…" he mumbled to no-one.
Why was she the only one to come visit her?
Perhaps because Mary was a bit unorthodox, rubbing people the wrong way, but was Susan the only one to see behind her charade and care for her for who she really was… It's obvious that Mary became who she was because of certain traumatic things from her past. Susan must have been the only one that cared for her unconditionally.
That makes no sense at all.
Would anyone come to visit me if I ended up in the looney bin?
No! Back to the case, Susan Chapman,…
Lisbon would come. I'm sure she would. No matter what.
Well, maybe not if she and Ardiles would be dating… Damn!
Probably not. He hates me and she would have other stuff on her head than visiting a lunatic. No need to be so theatrical, I'm not even in the looney bin..!
But she might be dating Ardiles for all I know…
This wasn't working. His absent-minded behavior was getting him nowhere. This issue needed to be settled if he ever wanted to solve this case. He should just go and tell Lisbon about his thoughts and feelings, so he would know her answer for once and for all. He would tell her what was bothering him, what was keeping him from solving the case and just see how it went from there. It was the only option he had at this point.
The question was, would he dare to?
Getting a bit hyped up, he jumped up from his bed and started walking around the room. Truth be told, he had been playing with this idea for a few days. So far he hadn't actually dared to tell the Lisbon the full truth, but that had just made things more complicated. Perhaps this was to solution to it all. Perhaps this wouldn't just solve the case, but un-complicate their entire relationship. It would be best for all parties involved.
He should just do it, he thought while he hurried down the stairs for no particular reason. How would he do it? He would get in his car and drive up to Lisbon's house. Would that be inappropriate? He checked the clock on the wall. Eleven twenty-five. Meh, that shouldn't be a problem. When they worked late sometimes, she didn't even get home before this time. Okay, then what? Then I'll walk up to her front door and ring her door bell. She will open it, with probably that annoyed look at first, mixed with just a hint of worry, he thought and smiled to himself just thinking about it.
He felt good; good about his idea and good about his preparation so far, so he decided to stay in the flow and just start driving to her. He would think about the rest on the way. So he made his way outside, to the parking lot and got in his car.
While he drove, he wondered if he should bring her something. Flowers, or chocolates. But when he thought of those cheap gas station flowers, he decided he'd rather give her nothing. That was probably best too, he thought, because now he would get to her sooner, which was best for both of them.
Not long after, he arrived at her street. Parking his car at the side of the road, he stayed put for just a little while longer. So this was it. The moment that would change their relationship for good. He knew if she wouldn't return his feelings, they would never be friends like they had been. Perhaps he should have brought her something, to show her he meant it. As if a small bunch of cheap flowers would change her feelings for him.
He stared outside his car window to her house. The lights were off.
Perhaps she was already asleep and he would disturb her. He knew she hated that. And even if she didn't, it was hardly the perfect way to tell her how he felt.
None of this was the perfect way to tell her how he felt. In the ideal case that she felt the same way as him, he didn't exactly know how they felt. He didn't even know what to say after she had opened the door. He shouldn't do this. Not now and not like this.
He took one final look at her house and thought about how she might be in there. As he drove away, he tried to comfort himself with the thought that as least she was still his best friend, but secretly he hated himself for chickening out.
Unaware to Jane, someone had been filming him and was planning on making him hate himself even more than he did now...