Chapter 12 – Who Needs a Drink?

Adventures of the Melee

Nolan 16½, Ryder 12½, Olivia 9½

Annabelle 4½, Victoria 4½, Lucas 3

Friday, August 28

"This weekend is going to suck," Nolan groaned as he chatted with Lissa on the house phone. His cell, as he predicted, had been taken away along with his freedom. He was allowed to use the house phone but it was located in the kitchen where curious ears could easily hear him. Nolan wasn't sure if being able to call Lissa from the house phone was a privilege or a punishment of its own. In addition to confiscating electronics for a month and grounding him, Owen created a list of tasks to keep Nolan occupied until school began. The first day, Owen dragged him to the hospital and had Nolan arrange the books in his office library. The second and third days were spent painting an outside shed.

"Tell me about it, rebel. You just had to go mouthing off and ruin my plans to hang out with my BF," Lissa teased.

"You're not funny," Nolan responded dryly.

"I am too. Get over yourself," Lissa joked. "So does Owen have special tasks in mind for you all weekend?"

"You know it," Nolan responded as Olivia stood right in front of him licking a popsicle and listening in. Scowling, Nolan attempted to shoo her away. She grinned in response and stayed put.

"Mom! Can you help with this?" Nolan mumbled as he moved the phone away from his mouth and pointed at Olivia.

Amelia piped in, "It's as much her kitchen as yours, Nolan. She can stay right there if she likes." Olivia beamed with pride, pulled up a chair and sat down in front of her brother just to taunt him.

"What's going on in the background?" Lissa asked curiously.

"Olivia has decided to pull up a chair for the Nolan's On the Phone Show and Mom is condoning it," Nolan groaned.

Lissa laughed hysterically, "OMG, I so wish I could see that! Hilarious."

"You have no compassion," Nolan retorted sarcastically.

"So not true, Nolan Charles. So not true. So tell me about work camp this weekend," Lissa prodded. "If I'm not going to be able to kiss you and hug you all weekend, I should at least be given a description of how you'll be working so hard that you'll have to take your shirt off and go around bare chested."

"I really can't believe you. You have no conscience," Nolan chuckle.

Olivia pulled on Nolan's shirttails and asked, "What's a conscience? And why doesn't Lissa have one?"

"I'm on the phone, Olivia," Nolan grumbled. Turning his attention back to Lissa, Nolan continued, "He wants me to clean out all the loose brush by the treehouse and detail all the cars except the sacred No One Shall Touch Boxster. That should only take me a couple years."

"Crud. He's wearing you out. Poor smart ass baby," Lissa teased again.

"No compassion…isn't that what I just said, Blondie? No compassion," Nolan snapped playfully. He went on, trying to speak softly enough that only Lissa could hear, "I can't wait until you're here in a week. I don't know how I'm going to make it until then." In early August, Clarisse had called Amelia and asked if Lissa could stay at the Shepherd-Hunts over Labor Day weekend. Clarisse and Larry planned to take a mini-vacation, but they didn't want to leave Lissa home alone. Without hesitation, Amelia agreed.

"I miss you, too, Nolan. This is a bummer way to end the summer," Lissa mused.

"Don't forget it starts all over again for two more weeks after Labor Day," Nolan whined, hoping his mother would hear him and take on his cause.

"I agree with your mom, dropping the f-bomb in reference to the Army was probably the final straw for Owen. That's like driving his Boxster or telling him gingers don't have souls," Lissa weighed in.

"Yeah…but it was brilliant in its own way," Nolan boasted.

"Mom! Make Nolan talk louder. I can't hear what he's whispering to Lissa!" Olivia bellowed. Amelia shot Olivia a Mommy glare, snapped her fingers, and pointed toward the playroom. Grudgingly, Olivia shuffled off with disappointment.

"I know how to cheer you up. Want to hear the latest Larry the Loser story?" Lissa offered.

"Yes and no. How much is it going to make me sick?" Nolan grumbled with disgust.

"Mom asked him to move in with us," Lissa blurted.

"No f%^%$ing way!" Nolan yelled.

"Nolan Charles! Not necessary," Amelia snapped. "Say goodbye. You've been on the phone long enough."

"Crap, did you overhear that?" Nolan mumbled. "I gotta go. Love you, Lissy."

"Love you and miss you. And I wish you'd clean up your mouth so we could talk more. I'm kinda freaking out about my new roommate," Lissa responded as she blew kisses into the phone before Nolan hung it up.

"C'mon, Nolan, really? You had to go there in the kitchen where all the littles could hear you? I swear if one of them repeats that word having heard you say it…" Amelia snapped.

Charming his mother, Nolan walked over, put his arm around her, and kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry, Mom. Really. It was out of line."

"Do you think?!" Amelia exclaimed.

Nolan picked Amelia up and carried her to the couch, promising, "Mom, you work too hard. I'll finish cutting up that fruit."

"You think that's going to get you out of hot water?" Amelia quipped with a chuckle as she rolled her eyes.

"I don't think it will hurt," Nolan responded playfully as he patted Amelia's head and took over the work she'd been doing in the kitchen. "Would it help to tell you why I said it?"

"Mmmmm….maybe," Amelia smiled as she turned around to face the kitchen.

"Clarisse asked Larry the Loser to move in," Nolan shared with a half smile.

"No!" Amelia reacted with shock. "What does she see in that guy?" Amelia quivered as if she were shaking off the Larry germs. "Ewww."

"He's such a jerk to her too, Mom. He's bossy and rude. Sometimes he jokes about having Clarisse serve him as her king. It's really disgusting," Nolan commentated.

"How's he treat Larissa?" Amelia inquired.

Nolan paused thoughtfully then disclosed, "I swear I've seen him leering at her."

"Nolan…no. Are you sure you're not just imagining that? I know the guy is a loser, but that's an entirely different level of horrible," Amelia warned.

"I know. I've wanted to like the guy from day one. I've tried. The leering? I've seen it," Nolan described.

"Has he crossed the line? Done anything inappropriate?" Amelia questioned with seriousness.

"No. He's ordered Liss around a little. Things like, 'hey, get me a beer, Blondie.' I'm not sure what disgusts me more – that he's ordering her around or that he's translating one of my names for her into Larry language," Nolan explained as his mouth frowned. "A few times, he's told her Dad kind of things, like when to be home, ordering her to clean the kitchen, or screeching that she shouldn't go out in public in the shorts she had on. Other than that, he's too busy treating Clarisse like crap to pick on Liss." Amelia's stomach sank as she silently watched Nolan slice up fruit and slide it into a mixing bowl. The idea that anyone could treat Lissa horribly was beyond Amelia's ability to comprehend.

Coming home for lunch, Owen popped inside from the garage and took note of Nolan working in the kitchen. He walked over to Amelia and leaned over her so that his head was upside down in front of hers. They kissed as he mumbled sweet nothings to her and chuckled with a sultry overtone.

"Come sit by me. You're not going to believe what Nolan just told me," Amelia invited. Owen walked around the couch, sat down and put his arm around Amelia with a look of anticipation. She disclosed, "Clarisse asked Larry the Loser to move in."

"That's unfortunate," Owen responded thoughtfully and professionally, adding, "Could all of us refrain from labeling the guy, though?"

Nolan looked up, but kept his thoughts to himself. Hesitantly, Amelia whined, "Well, he is."

"Nice example for the kids, Miss Amelia," Owen chuckled as he gently moved her down until they were flat on the couch and he was on top of her.

"Ha! And this?" Amelia smiled as one hand grabbed the buckle of his belt and as she maneuvered the other hand to tickle Owen's one and only ticklish spot that was high up on the inside of his legs.

Laughing, Owen giggled, "Stop that! Mia." He wiggled around on the couch attempting to extricate himself from her grip, then added in his own tickling fingers so she was laughing and begging for mercy.

Nolan just looked over and grinned. While he would never admit it to them, he loved how playful his parents were with one another.

Bumbling down the stairs, Lucas yelled out, "Daddy's home!" He ran over to Owen and jumped on top of him, stretching his arms as wide as he could in an attempt to hug all of Owen's body at once. "I miss you when you bye bye, Daddy."

Owen smiled softly and played with the curls on Lucas' head. "I miss you when I'm bye bye, too, Luke. Tell me about your morning," Owen encouraged.

"Me and Why-der, we pwayed bad guys an we pwayed caws (cars) and he weeded (read-ed) me a book," Lucas listed. "Tell me bout yo moaning."

"I met with a new group of residents and told them a bunch of hospital rules, then I taught a class to the brand new interns about suturing, then I helped in the emergency room," Owen detailed. "I think your morning sounds like more fun than mine."

Lucas cocked his head and wondered with awe, "What's choo-choo-ing? Do you take dems on a twain?!"

Laughing gently, Owen clarified, "Su-chur-ing. It's how doctors sew up really bad cuts."

"Oh," Lucas grimaced with disappointment. "Dat doesn't sound fun wike choo-choo-ing."

"Lunch!" Amelia hollered as children ran toward the table from all directions.

"An wash yo hans!" Lucas yelled as he ran to the bathroom sink. Owen stood up and walked into the kitchen, pausing behind Nolan and inquiring, "Are the inside windows done upstairs?"

"Mostly. Three rooms left. I've been helping Mom," Nolan responded without mentioning the break he took to call Lissa.

"Hustle to get those done right after lunch so you can move on to changing all the smoke detector batteries and replacing the light bulbs I wrote down. I want that all done by the time I come home," Owen ordered in a matter-of-fact tone and then continued walking to the fridge to grab a Gatorade. He opened the fridge and growled, "C'mon you guys, who drank the last cold Gatorade without putting more in the fridge? Ryder?"

Ryder was just arriving at the table when he heard Owen call out his name. "Yeah?"

"How much Gatorade have you had today?" Owen snapped.

"None," Ryder shrugged, "but that sounds great. Could you grab me one?" Nolan attempted not to laugh aloud at his clueless younger brother who was likely only angering Owen even more.

Owen snarled as everyone else was filtering to the table, "No, I won't because somebody drank the last one without restocking."

Without any idea what the interaction between Owen and Ryder was about, Anna piped up, "Daddy?"

"Anna?" Owen grumbled.

"Is dare any-moe of dat gween juice?" Anna inquired.

"Green juice?" Owen asked as he sat down at the table.

Anna clarified, "Yeah, da gween juice dat's in de bott-toe."

"Gatorade. She means the Gatorade," Ryder declared with joy. "Anna, did you drink the green juice with the orange lid?"

"Uh huh. I had dis many of dems," Anna held out three fingers.

Ryder stood up and raised his arms in a stance of victory, exclaiming, "Yes! It wasn't me. It was the electrolyte queen! See? It's not always my fault! Woot woot. Uh huh."

"Sit down, Ry," Amelia requested with a laugh, relieved that she'd spoken before her suddenly cranky husband. Then she turned to Owen and inquired, "How about a big glass of chocolate milk? Yummy and good for your bones."

Owen's mouth turned up on one side, "Yes, please." He caught eyes with Ryder and apologized, "I'm sorry, Ryder. I shouldn't have assumed it was you."

Amelia called over to Nolan, who was still in the kitchen, "Nole? Could you please make Dad a chocolate milk since you're in there? Who else wants one?"

Lucas, Anna, Ria and Olivia all begged, "I do!"

Clarifying her drink order, Amelia stated, "Make that one large one, one regular sized one, and three sippy cups, please."

"I'm on it," Nolan confirmed, actually relieved to not have to sit down at the table while Owen grumbled.