It started out as a snicker, a friendly conversation, a hearty laugh. It was a peaceful time for the clan. Cloudstar led SnowClan well, and the clan continued growing in size and living peacefully.
At the time, a new clan had come to the forest called StormClan. Cloudstar had gathered the cats to discuss the new clan, claiming it was very small and would hopefully pose no threat and that they should act kindly at the upcoming gathering.
Blueocean sat with the others, flicking her silver-blue tail back in forth, catching as Pinethorn's eyes caught her own. He was a mucky brown tom with white patches, and Blueocean had caught him staring at her more than once. But she simply shook her head and continued listening.
Blueocean's beauty was envied throughout the clan. She was small in figure with her glimmering blue pelt and stunning green eyes. It was not rare for a tom to glance at her every now and again.
As nighttime fell and Cloudstar called for cats to go to the gathering, she was one of them. Her sister, Oceanfire, was asked to come along as well, and Blueocean padded alongside her as they headed toward a clearing between territories for their meeting.
"I'm excited to see what the new clan is like," Oceanfire admitted as their feet skipped over branches and loose pebbles.
"I don't think it'll be that interesting," Blueocean said. "The clan is small. They won't have much news anyway."
Oceanfire shrugged. "I suppose this is true."
The clearing was full of cats from all different clans-SnowClan, NightClan, BirdClan, StormClan...A full moon shone above as the cats gathered.
Oceanfire glanced forward, grinning at a small group of cats that were gathered at one edge of the clearing.
"I think that's StormClan," she said.
Blueocean nodded, not recognizing the cats. They appeared to be as normal as any other clan, though their scent was new and odd to her.
"I want to go chat with some other clans," Oceanfire said, disappearing into the crowd.
"Oceanfire, wait!" Blueocean called, but the gray tabby had already disappeared from view, and she was left alone in a swarm of cats. She stood there glancing around, hoping the gathering would start soon to end her embarrassment.
"Hey there," came a friendly voice from behind.
Blueocean jumped and spun around to find a white and gray tom with the most stunning yellow eyes she'd ever seen. She immediately knew he was a StormClan tom, just by the scent alone.
"Um...hi," she managed to say, glancing forward to see if Thornstar was going to start the meeting soon.
"I'm Gooseleaf, from StormClan," he said. "It's great we got to come to the gathering. Which clan are you from?"
"I'm-"
She was cut off as Gooseleaf got close and sniffed her. She stood there in horror as he moved his nose around her body.
"You're from SnowClan. I can tell," he said.
"Um, yes," Blueocean replied. Never had she met such an odd tom.
"I've been trying to familiarize myself with the scents of the other clans, that's all," he told her. "What's your name?"
"Blueocean," she replied.
"Nice to meet you, Blueocean," he said, dipping his head.
Blueocean did the same. Suddenly, a yowl sounded across the clearing, prompting the gathering to start.
"Want to sit together?" he asked.
Blueocean shrugged and nodded, not expecting to see Oceanfire anytime soon. The gathering began, and each clan discussed bits and pieces of clan life. It was all rather boring, though Blueocean could see the looks of excitement in all the apprentices who had come for the first time.
A broad gray tom stood up to speak, and Gooseleaf murmured, "That's our leader, Stormstar. Look at this face. He looks as if he's never smiled in his life. Not even a newborn kitten can end his grim face."
Blueocean chuckled slightly and watched as Gooseleaf's eyes lit up.
Stormstar began speaking, though Blueocean and Gooseleaf were quietly whispering now.
"Why did you join StormClan?" she asked.
"Just a way to have a sense of belonging, I guess," he replied. "We've all come from broken pasts, but we're ready to start anew in this clan."
Blueocean nodded, wondering what it was like to be a part of a new clan. SnowClan had been around for so many moons that she could not imagine what it had been like when it was first founded.
"That's Cloudstar over there," she said, pointing to where the white leader sat. "And that's the deputy, Thornfrost, at his side. And there's Pinethorn, a senior warrior. Everyone quite admirs him."
Gooseleaf chuckled. "If only we had good-looking cats in our clan. Are you an admirer yourself?"
Blueocean laughed. "Not at all! He's kind, but not my type."
"I see you have no mate or kits then?" he wondered.
"I'm young," she clarified. "I'm a bit hurt you think I'm older."
Gooseleaf laughed. "I didn't mean it that way. You're not a bad looking she-cat yourself. I just assumed..."
Blueocean felt herself blushing slightly. It was only friendly banter. This would probably be the last time she ever saw the tom.
The gathering started to come to an end, and the cats were beginning to break off. Blueocean was almost saddened to leave her new friend.
"Good luck in StormClan," she told him as he turned to leave with his clan.
"Nice meeting you, Blueocean," he replied.
She grinned and soon met up with Oceanfire once again.
"Where did you go? I couldn't find you with the rest of the SnowClan cats!" Oceanfire exclaimed as they began their return home.
"I was chatting with a StormClan tom," Blueocean explained. "Their clan sounds very interesting."
Oceanfire shrugged. "Yeah, well, I got stuck sitting directly next to Cloudstar and had to pay attention the whole time!"
Blueocean giggled at her sister, and the two chatted the entire way home, Gooseleaf's name never being brought up once.
Several sunrises passed, and one day, Blueocean was sent on patrol to remark the borders. Those on patrol kept some distance from each other as she went. She passed along the bushes, suddenly picking up the faint scent of StormClan.
She growled slightly, wondering why they were nearing the border. She bent down and sniffed the ground. The scent was fresh, but it appeared they hadn't crossed.
"Hey, Blueocean!" came a sudden shout.
She spun around, frightened, only to realize it was Gooseleaf. He stood there with a freshly caught squirrel at his paws.
"Gooseleaf, hush," she said, wondering if his call had alerted other SnowClan warriors.
"Oh, sorry," he replied.
"Why are you so close to the border?" she wondered.
"Because some of the best squirrels are here! You didn't think I'd cross, did you?" he asked.
"N-No," she lied.
"How have you been?" he asked.
"Gooseleaf, I don't know if you know this, but cats from other clans don't tend to casually talk," she explained.
Gooseleaf tilted his head. "What? So we're forced to talk to the boring cats in our clan forever?"
Blueocean giggled slightly, then shook her head. She had a job to do. "You should head back before the other SnowClan cats come this way. I know you haven't crossed the border, but some cats are weird about other clan cats being so close."
"I will follow your advice, o' wise one," Gooseleaf said, dipping his head. "But I'd love to catch up."
"I don't think-"
"Bye, Blueocean!" he called, padding away into the bushes.
She shrugged and continued on her way. She had not thought about the tom since the gathering yet...she found him so easy to talk to.
For the next few days, the StormClan scent lingered near the SnowClan territory. She never met Gooseleaf again, but she could tell he had been hunting nearby.
One afternoon, she set off alone to hunt. A plump bird sat on a tree branch, and she scrambled up it, ready to catch a tasty snack. Her claws dug into bark as she pulled her small body up the tree. She balanced on one branch and crept toward where the bird chirped.
"Hey, Blueocean!"
The bird gave out an alarming call and flew away, leaving Blueocean with nothing to take back to SnowClan. She glanced up, and in a tree across from her sat Gooseleaf. Despite his proximity, he was, technically, still on his side of the border.
"Gooseleaf!" she growled.
"Oh, sorry. I didn't realize you were going to catch that bird," he admitted.
She glared at him, and he laughed.
"I'm sorry! I'll send the next bird your way," he promised.
She shook her head and laughed slightly.
"How have you been?" he asked.
"I said before that-"
"Oh, who cares? What, we're talking? I guess I'm going straight to the Dark Forest then," he teased.
"Fine," she gave in at last, though it wasn't hard. She actually wanted to talk to the tom. Careful that was no one was nearby, they kept their voices low and discussed how their clan life was going. They gave no secrets of their clans, only discussed their lives and how they were getting on.
Blueocean realized she'd been gone quite awhile.
"I should head back," she said.
"Hey, can we meet up again?" he wondered.
Blueocean wanted to see him again, but she wasn't sure...
"We can talk just like this," Gooseleaf offered. "No cat is crossing their border."
"Okay, but at nighttime next time," she said.
"Got it. Three sunrises time?"
She nodded, and he went off. As soon as Blueocean arrived back to camp, with no prey anyway, Oceanfire rushed over to her sister.
"Have you heard?!" she exclaimed.
"What?" Blueocean asked.
"Pinethorn likes you," she whispered.
Blueocean was taken aback. "What? Me?" So those stares had not been for nothing.
"Oh, it'll be so romantic, Blueocean. I'm sure he'll ask you to hunt with him, and he'll be a proud warrior while your kits run around."
"What?!" Blueocean exclaimed. "Woah, hang on. I didn't say I liked him."
"But you must, don't you? Every she-cat likes him," Oceanfire explained.
"I mean, he's nice, but..."
They were interrupted as Pinethorn made his presence known. Oceanfire let out a tiny squeal and backed away, running off.
"Oceanfire!" Blueocean called. She turned, glancing at Pinethorn. He wasn't a bad looking tom, but he was too formal, too kind for her.
"Blueocean, I was wondering if you'd like to hunt together," he offered.
Oceanfire was watching from afar, eyeing her. Blueocean glared at the she-cat, then turned to Pinethorn. Would accepting the hunting offer be so bad?
"Sure," she agreed, not that it meant anything. She was looking forward to her meet-up with Gooseleaf more than anything else.
The hunt was as boring as ever. The two had little to talk about, and Blueocean felt awkward the whole time. They came back with lots of prey, but mostly because they didn't feel like talking much. When Blueocean returned, her sister was all over her, asking for details, though there was nothing to give. Blueocean hoped Pinethorn would not ask her to hunt again.
A few days later, Blueocean sat in the tree again, waiting for Gooseleaf in the dead of night. She felt guilty doing it, but they were only talking after all. She heard scratches against the bark, and soon, his yellow eyes were illuminating in the moonlight.
"Hey!" he exclaimed. "You came!"
"Keep your voice down," she warned.
"Sorry," Gooseleaf replied. "How have you been?"
"All right. The deputy apparently has a crush on me now and I've been annoyed both with his attempts to bond and my sister's obsession with our relationship," Blueocean complained.
"Ah, is this the famous Pinethorn we are talking about?" Gooseleaf wondered.
"The very one," Blueocean groaned.
"Do you like him?" Gooseleaf asked.
"Not one bit. I mean, I don't hate him. He's very nice. But in a romantic way, no. I could never like him like that. I feel like we could be good friends, but..."
"But what?"
She shrugged. "Guess I'm looking for someone else, that's all."
"Guess that's all you can do," Gooseleaf said. "Hey, do you mind if I..." He crouched, ready to leap.
"Gooseleaf, wait!" she called. He leapt through the air and landed on the same branch as her. She froze, having not been so close to him in a long time. She found herself staring into his bright eyes, and her breath quickened.
"Calm down," he said, sitting on the branch.
"But you crossed the border!"
"Oh, yeah, and now I'm going to attack," he joked. "It's hard hearing you from over there."
She shoved him with her paw.
"What was that for?"
"Fine, you can stay over here. But we have to be careful. If they catch your scent..."
"No one's out here right now. We could always go into StormClan border too. We don't have nearly as many patrols," Gooseleaf said.
"But that'd be crossing the border!" Blueocean gasped.
"You and crossing the border. I don't get it one bit," he said.
She laughed. "Maybe I'm just not that rebellious."
He poked her with his tail. "No. You aren't at all."
She laughed and continued speaking, and when they grew tired, they planned to meet up again.
And this is how it went for a moon or so. Blueocean and Gooseleaf spent their nights chatting away. For once, Blueocean connected with someone. She had friends in SnowClan, and her siblings were always at her side, but it was nice to talk on a personal level with someone for once.
Of course, Pinethorn's attempts to gain her affection continued. They were able to speak to each other enough to have some sort of friendship, but Blueocean still felt nothing for the tom. Pinethorn never went too far, never told her his feelings, but she knew what he really wanted.
One night, Blueocean sat near the edge of the StormClan border with Gooseleaf. The two were good friends now, and though Blueocean had once felt guilty about the whole thing, she knew they were only speaking. Was it that bad for there to be some allies in the other clans?
They spoke for a while, then Gooseleaf wanted to have fun. He poked her with his tail. "Tag," he said.
She narrowed her eyes, not wanting to play such childish games, but she found her feet moving away and began chasing after the tom. She rushed after him and poked him with her tail.
He let out a shriek, and she giggled, running away as he chased after her. He leapt at her from behind, knocking her into the grass. The two rolled over, laughing at each other. Gooseleaf had her pinned down, and she grinned.
Suddenly, they became silent, and Blueocean was suddenly aware of the sound of the crickets chirping and the brightness of the stars. When she turned to face Gooseleaf, his eyes were shimmering in the night.
"Blueocean, I...I think I love you," he said.
She froze and quickly pushed him off her.
"What? What did I say?" he said.
"No. Stop," she growled at him.
"What? I'm only telling the truth."
"It's wrong," she murmured.
"What? Can you honestly tell me you don't have any feelings for me?" he asked as she padded back toward the SnowClan border.
She froze and glanced down. Of course she felt something between her and Gooseleaf. Was it love? She wasn't sure. They were already good friends. Maybe there was something more...Still, she couldn't let this happen. She could not be banished from her clan...
"No. I don't feel anything," she replied, scampering off.
"Blueocean!" he called, but she refused to turn back.
The next day, Blueocean was as grumpy as ever, over what Gooseleaf had said, over how unfair clan rules were, over everything. Oceanfire found her in camp.
"Blueocean, did you hear the news?"
"What now?" she groaned.
"I heard from Sparrowslash that Pinethorn is going to ask you to be his mate!" she exclaimed.
Blueocean sat up. "What? Why would you believe something that Sparrowslash said, of all cats?"
"Why not? They're friends. Oh, this is so exciting!"
As Oceanfire rambled on, nerves fled through Blueocean. She couldn't be Pinethorn's mate. She didn't want to be Pinethorn's mate. He was kind, but he'd never make her happy enough. He didn't make her feel as Gooseleaf did.
She froze. So it was true. She was in love with Gooseleaf. How long she had been denying herself the fact. She stood up.
"Blueocean, where are you going?" Oceanfire asked.
She ignored her sister and padded away into the forest. She had to find Gooseleaf and tell him how she really felt. After all the cruel things she'd said the night before, she hoped he'd forgive her.
She walked up and down the border for what felt like hours. Finally, she heard footsteps. The tom was stalking a mouse, completely unaware of her presence. She sat and watched, and once he had caught it, she called out to him in desperation.
"Gooseleaf," she begged.
He looked up and froze. "Blueocean, I'm so sorry what I said last night. I didn't mean to hurt you. It wasn't wise what I said and-"
"Gooseleaf, I love you," she confessed.
He froze, and his mouth slowly opened. "What?"
"I said I love you, too. Forget what I said last night. I didn't mean it at all. I was just protecting myself, trying to protect you," she explained. Before she could stop herself, she was running across the border to him.
He greeted her, and the two collided, falling into the grass together. Blueocean giggled and licked his cheek.
"Is this true?" he asked, staring at her with those dreamy yellow eyes.
She nodded her head.
"Oh, I love you, too, Blueocean," he murmured, nuzzling her.
"But...how can it work? It's not allowed, Gooseleaf," she said.
"Come to StormClan. We can be happy there," he begged.
She shook her head. "You know I can't. All my life has been in SnowClan, all my family is there. But I want to be with you."
"I'll have to join SnowClan then," Gooseleaf decided.
"You can't. You've told me all about how excited you are to be in StormClan. We'll have to keep this secret, that's all."
Gooseleaf groaned. "It'll be so hard. I want to tell every cat I know about you."
Blueocean giggled. "Me too. Then everyone could get that Pinethorn stuff away from me."
"He...he still likes you?"
"Yes, but why would I accept him when I have you?" she murmured, brushing her head against his soft fur.
"So...secret mates then?" he asked.
She nodded and licked his cheek once more. "Secret mates," she agreed.
It was hard to part from the tom, but they had already agreed when they'd see each other again, and Blueocean could not wait for the day. Despite Oceanfire's beliefs, Pinethorn did not confront Blueocean that day to ask to be mates, nor in the days following.
In fact, Pinethorn kept his distance for a little while, probably focusing on warrior duties. Oceanfire sure seemed down in the dumps about all of it.
Meanwhile, Blueocean spent many nights with Gooseleaf. They talked and expressed their love for each other and ran around playing silly kit games. She only wished she could feel his chest rise and fall beside her every night, but it could never be. If any of their clanmates found out...Blueocean wasn't sure what would happen.
For three moons they kept their secret relationship up. Pinethorn and Blueocean still talked some. They were good friends, yet no one had made a move, and Blueocean certainly wouldn't do it. She supposed Pinethorn was waiting for some affection on her part, but she would not give it.
As the days passed, Blueocean's appetite began to soar, though she wasn't sure why. She was not hunting or patrolling any more than normal. At night, she found it harder to fall asleep, though she blamed this on her thoughts of Gooseleaf and her longing to see him.
One day she went hunting alone and tripped over her own paws. She landed hard and rolled to the side, checking the damage. It was only then that she noticed her stomach looked bigger than normal. She had always been a thin she-cat with a thin frame, but her stomach had been swollen lately, not enough that any other cat would think too much of it, but enough for her to notice.
At that moment, fear rose in her more than any moment in her life.
I'm expecting kits, she realized. Tears began rolling down her face, and she isolated herself the rest of the day, not knowing what she could do.
When she met Gooseleaf that night, she was solemn and depressed and greeted him without the same enthusiasm.
"Blueocean, what's wrong?" he questioned.
"I'm expecting kits, Gooseleaf. Our kits," she replied.
Gooseleaf's eyes widened. She had expected him to bounce with joy, but he seemed to be hit with the same severity as her.
"What do we do?" he asked.
"I don't know!" she wailed, placing her head into his shoulder.
Gooseleaf wrapped his tail around her and sat down. She leaned against, wetting his fur with her tears.
"Is it too late for me to join the clan?" he asked.
"Gooseleaf, you can't!"
"Well, what can I do? What can we do? It's not fair, Blueocean. I should be thrilled to be a father, but now I'm just terrified what the clan will think, what your clan will think."
"Let's run away," she suggested.
He shook his head. "You know we can't. That's a coward's way out. We're both built for clan life."
"Then I don't know..." She froze, a wild idea suddenly hit her. It could work, only if her suspicions that he was loyal to her were correct.
"Blueocean?"
"I have an idea," she said.
Gooseleaf was not thrilled at the idea that her and Pinethorn pretend to be mates. It was a wild idea, but it was the only way Blueocean could be sure that she could raise her kits without shame.
"I don't like it," Gooseleaf murmured, even though it had already been settled.
"Look, I trust Pinethorn, and I think he'll agree. I know him well enough to know that."
"Will I get to see them? The kits?" he wondered.
"I don't know, Gooseleaf, I don't know. We'll have to see what Pinethorn thinks first," Blueocean told him.
He glanced down, looking disappointed. She leaned forward and licked his cheek, and immediately, light was brought back into his eyes.
"I love you. You must know that. Whatever happens," she whispered.
He looked deeply at her. "I love you, too. I pray to StarClan that everything will turn out okay."
She nodded, and after some time, they parted their ways. As she headed back toward SnowClan camp, she suddenly caught the scent of Pinethorn.
She ducked in the bushes and peeked out. Her nose had not mistaken her. Pinethorn was heading toward the bushes, obviously on the lookout for prey. He lifted his nose in the air, and Blueocean knew immediately that he had caught her scent.
He got closer to the bush and sniffed it, then froze.
"Blueocean? Um...hi," he murmured.
Caught, she stepped forward, guessing there was no better time to talk to him than now.
"I need to talk to you right now," she spoke sharply, glancing around to make sure no cat was nearby.
"Sure!" he exclaimed, then glanced down, obviously embarrassed. "I mean, yeah, sure, whatever."
"This isn't easy to say," Blueocean began. "I-I know how you feel about me, and...I'm sorry. I don't feel the same. Don't take this the wrong way, Pinethorn," she said, noticing the disappointment in his eyes. "You're a very sweet and charming tom. You must know that. It's just...I'm in love with another tom...from StormClan."
Pinethorn's eyes suddenly widened.
"I know. Another clan. It's against the rules. But I couldn't stay away. And then," she began choking on her voice. "I'm expecting his kits, and I know how you feel about me. If the clan found out, I'd get in huge trouble. Could you...could you pretend to be the father? Could we pretend to be mates?" she asked, sickened with worry.
"Yes. Yes, I shall," he spoke calmly. "Don't fret over this. Everything will be fine. Nobody will know the truth," he said, laying his fluffy tail on her shoulder as she stood there, breathing rapidly and holding back tears.
"Thank you so much," she purred, licking his cheek. "I don't know how I can ever repay you. This is so much to ask. When the kits are born, I'll make known that they're yours. I don't want them knowing they're half-clan. I hope you're ready to be a father," she joked.
He purred back in response. "I will try my best," he promised.
Blueocean suddenly heard the sound of rustling bushes and fleeing feet.
"I heard another cat!" she gasped, zipping around. Suddenly, all her fears had returned. She'd been discovered for real this time.
Pinethorn spun around and sniffed the bush that had moved. He pulled away, then turned to Blueocean. "I believe Sparrowslash came and went with our secret."
Blueocean nearly collapsed to the ground. "No, he can't know!" she gasped.
"Blueocean, please don't be upset," he told her. "I'll tell him straight away not to say a word."
"Thank you," she responded.
"No worries," he replied.
Things began to fall in place after that. Sparrowslash never spoke a word, as Pinethorn promised. A few sunrises later Blueocean announced that she and Pinethorn were mates, and not long after that, she explained she was expecting his kits. Blueocean's whole family was proud of her new relationship with Oceanfire wailing that she'd never thought it would happen.
In the evenings, Blueocean would visit Gooseleaf. They were shorter periods, but he was thrilled to know that Pinethorn was assisting her. Still, Blueocean made clear that their visits would be less when the kits were born.
There were some arguments, when Blueocean said she would not tell the kits of their true father. He was angered at first, but he agreed it was for the best. As long as he still got to see her, that was all that mattered.
While at night Blueocean spent time with Gooseleaf, her days were spent with Pinethorn. They had to make the act believable, not that Blueocean minded. They were already good friends, and she liked spending time with him. That was to say that she had no romantic feelings for him, but she was glad to have his loyalty.
Time passed and Blueocean's stomach grew. Their leader, Cloudstar, eventually passed, and Thornfrost was named the new leader. Thornstar declared Pinethorn his deputy, to which Blueocean congratulated him on his success.
Very shortly after his naming of deputy, Blueocean went into labor. Pinethorn was one of the first to the medicine cat den while her brother and sister and mother came shortly after.
She let out a yowl of pain as the first kit was born. It was a white tom. The next was a gray tabby she-cat. With her last cry, Blueocean gave birth to a silver-blue tom. She sighed in relief when the pain was over and glanced down at her three kits with a loving expression.
Her mother purred and rubbed against her. "You did great," she said.
"Thanks," Blueocean replied, licking her kits. "I wish Dad were here though," she whispered in her mother's ear. Her father had perished recently, and the whole family was feeling the loss.
"Me too. Why don't you name them?" her mother suggested.
Blueocean glanced at Pinethorn, then looked away. These were not his kits, even if she told them he was their father. "The white tom will be Marshkit. The gray tabby she-cat, Ripplekit. And the silver-blue tom..." She hesitated. No, it was the right decision. "Goosekit," she said.
"Way to let the father name them," her brother, Milknose, laughed. He then turned to Pinethorn. "Congrats. You've got new kits, ad you're the deputy."
Pinethorn grinned.
Her family left, leaving her and Pinethorn alone.
"You can come look at them, you know," she told him. "They're your kits," she lied.
He grinned and glanced at them. "They're so small," he murmured.
"Will you visit?" she asked quietly.
"If that's what you want," he replied.
"Yes. That's what I want," she told him.
It was Pinethorn who gave her time to leave every once in awhile. After nursing the kits for a moon, she was finally granted leave from the nursery for a little bit.
She headed out to the forest at night and found Gooseleaf anxiously pacing around. When he saw her, his eyes lit up.
"The kits?"
"Yes, they were born," she replied. "I wouldn't have just left for a moon."
She crossed the border onto StormClan's side and laid down beside him.
"How are they? How many? Are they beautiful?" he asked.
"Two toms and one she-cat," she told him. "A white tom named Marshkit, a gray tabby she-cat named Ripplekit, and a silver-blue tom named Goosekit."
"G-Goosekit? You named our son after me? What if they find out?" Gooseleaf gasped.
She laughed. "They won't."
"What are they like?" he wondered.
"Marshkit's the bossy one, but I think he just gets that from you," she teased. "Ripplekit is kind and caring. One of the sweetest she-cats I've ever seen. And Goosekit is shy, but I think he'll come around. They've already made friends in the nursery."
"I'm glad to hear it. And...they think that Pinethorn-"
"Yes," she replied. "Pinethorn is doing well. He comes and plays with them and checks in on us." She watched hurt flash in Gooseleaf's eyes.
"Gooseleaf, there's nothing going on between Pinethorn and I. He's just fulfilling a duty, that's all," she replied.
"It's not that. I know you love me. But, I just wish the kits..."
"Maybe one day," she said, though she knew it'd never be true. And it wasn't like they'd have a second litter. She could not ask Pinethorn to cover for two litters with Gooseleaf.
She left Gooseleaf, promising to visit him once a moon. It was tough on both of them, but he agreed.
And so Blueocean spent her days in SnowClan watching the kits grow. They were very fond of Lifekit, a rambunctious she-cat. Goosekit and Lifekit seemed to be inseparable.
Sometimes, they'd boast about their father being deputy. Blueocean would kindly remind them to be kind, but all she could think of was the lies she was spewing to her kits.
They loved Pinethorn though and played with him when they could. He was busy as a deputy, but he loved to see the kits. She and Pinethorn had a mutual understanding now. They were close friends, and his feelings for her were never once expressed, unless they were trying to fool others.
When the kits reached six moons, Blueocean met Gooseleaf that night.
"They're apprentices now," she purred.
"Growing up so fast," Gooseleaf realized. "I just wish I could be there to support them."
Blueocean glanced down, not sure how to reply. It felt unfair that he could not see his kits, but she couldn't risk it. They were SnowClan cats now, and that's what they would be.
"You'd be so proud of them," she told him, nuzzling him.
They began their apprentice training, and Blueocean became bored again. Pinethorn kept her company, but not the same way Gooseleaf could. She felt like her connection with Gooseleaf had been altered somehow. They didn't seem to possess the same feelings they once had.
They still kept up their monthly meetings. Gooseleaf asked about the kits, Blueocean told him, and then they'd just talk, tell each other they loved each other, and leave.
And this was the way it was until one afternoon. Blueocean was out hunting when she heard a "Psst," from bushes nearby. She froze and spun around. Gooseleaf was hiding in the bushes of SnowClan territory.
"Gooseleaf! What are you doing?! You can't be here," she hissed. "It's light out."
"I never get to see you anymore," he complained, coming out of the bushes.
"I-I know," she admitted. "But the kits."
"I want to see them," he begged.
"It's too dangerous, Gooseleaf. You can't," Blueocean told him. She saw the pain in his eyes, but there was nothing she could do. It was the right decision, wasn't it?
"But, Blueocean," he began.
"Hey!" came a sudden shout.
Blueocean spun around to find an entire SnowClan patrol approaching.
"What's this StormClan cat doing here?" a tom called out.
"Why were you talking to him, Blueocean?" a she-cat wondered.
"Nothing. It was-"
"I'll head back," Gooseleaf offered.
"You're not getting away that fast," a ginger tom growled. "I've been picking up your scent a lot around here. You're coming with us."
"No, just let him go! He wasn't doing anything!" Blueocean begged.
But the cats had already surrounded Gooseleaf in a huddle and were heading back to camp. Blueocean called out, but they refused to listen to her. She slowly trudged behind, unsure what would happen. She knew they'd be discovered eventually, but not now, not here.
As they entered camp, the cats threw Gooseleaf forward. He collided with the ground and slowly stood up.
"No, please!" Blueocean called. "Don't hurt him!"
Her heart pounded as Thornstar approached, a concerned look on his face.
"Who is this? What's going on?" he asked.
"We caught this tom trespassing on SnowClan territory," Speckledfoot told Thornstar.
"Trespassing?" Thornstar inquired, glancing at Gooseleaf. Blueocean stood there, shuddering. In the distance, she could see her kits glancing at her curiously.
"That's not all," added another tom. "We caught him and Blueocean together, talking."
Thornstar turned his gaze to Blueocean.
"Do you know this tom, Blueocean?" he asked.
There was a pause, and then she hung her head down, ready to admit. "Yes."
"And who are you?" Thornstar asked Gooseleaf.
He remained silent.
"Who are you?" he asked again.
"He reeks of StormClan," a calico she-cat growled.
"I'm not going to ask again. Who are you?" Thornstar demanded.
"Gooseleaf!" her mate spat.
"And you're a StormClan tom, aren't you?"
Gooseleaf nodded.
"How did you ever come to know a StormClan tom, Blueocean? Why weren't you chasing him off the territory?" he asked.
At that moment, Blueocean watched Pinethorn dart by.
"Pinethorn, come here!" Thornstar called.
Blueocean's heart sank. She didn't want Pinethorn involved in this.
Pinethorn turned and obeyed, though he seemed to be nervous too. He stood next to Thornstar.
"Yes?" he asked.
"Did you know your mate knew of this tom?" Thornstar wondered.
Pinethorn did not reply, only shuffling his paws.
"Just tell him, Pinethorn," Blueocean sighed.
"Tell me what?" Thornstar asked.
"Pinethorn is not Bluoecean's mate," Gooseleaf spoke up before either of them could. "I am."
A collective gasp sounded around the cats, and whispers of exile were thrown about.
"Leave Pinethorn out of this," Blueocean begged. "He was only protecting me."
Suddenly, Goosepaw strode forward, confusion in his eyes. His siblings followed behind.
"Oh, kits. I didn't want you to find out this way," Blueocean said, tears coming to her eyes.
Goosepaw glanced at Gooseleaf, then back at his mother. "Is he..."
"Pinethorn is not your father. Gooseleaf is. You are half-StormClan," Blueocean admitted.
"No, I can't be!" Marshpaw shouted, snapping his white tail across the air. "I'm SnowClan through and through."
"You're StormClan," Gooseleaf told them. Blueocean let out a sob, not expecting Gooseleaf to meet his kits for the first time in this way.
"I'm sorry kits. I did not want you to learn this way either," Gooseleaf said.
"You're not our father! Pinethorn is!" Ripplepaw hissed.
Pinethorn moved aside from Thornstar and rested his tail on Ripplepaw's shoulder. "Gooseleaf is your real father, but I have enjoyed raising you kits."
"You knew of this Pinethorn?" Thornstar asked.
Pinethorn dipped his head. "I did, but I did it only for Blueocean and the sake of the kits. I truly do love you, Blueocean, and I know you never truly loved me, but I was happy to know you and the kits were safe from secrets. I pretended to be their father to protect them, and I have only brought shame to the clan. I wish to resign from my deputy position," he insisted.
"No!" shouted Goosepaw. "Father, er, Pinethorn, you're a great deputy!"
"But I have lied to my clan. I can no longer be trusted," Pinethorn sighed.
Thornstar paused for a moment. "No, Pinethorn, you do not have to resign."
"He broke the code!" cats shouted.
"And so have I," Thornstar admitted. "Was it not I that became mates with a medicine cat who gave birth to our kits? Tawnyheart is dead now, but because of my stupidity, her life was ruined. Cloudstar assigned me deputy because he knew a good leader made mistakes. Therefore, I will give you a second chance, Pinethorn, and I know you will not fail me."
"Thank you, Thornstar," Pinethorn said. "But I ask you to please be kind to Blueocean too."
Blueocean winced as Thornstar approached. "I only did it for the kits. Exile me if you wish, but not the kits."
"I will not exile you either, for Tasha too mated with a MoonClan tom. Her kits do not possess SnowClan blood at all. Of course, Blueocean, if you do not refuse to cut off all ties with this tom, I must exile you."
Blueocean nodded, tears gathering in her eyes. Gooseleaf quickly ran to Blueocean. She ran to meet him, gazing into his yellow eyes one last time.
"I am sorry," he told her. "I did not mean for my actions to hurt so many cats. I love you, Blueocean, and I wish things had been different. If only we lived in the same clan."
"But we don't. I am loyal to SnowClan, and you to is our kits' decisions where they are loyal to."
"I'm staying here," Goosepaw growled. Marshpaw nodded beside him.
"Me too," Ripplepaw agreed.
"I did not expect them to join me. They've been lied to and don't know their true father. Even though I've only just met you, I've heard so much about you. I beg you kits to forgive me. I truly do love you. Maybe we will meet again someday," he purred.
He took a step close, but the kits stepped back.
"Don't touch us," Marshpaw growled.
Gooseleaf nodded, then turned to Blueocean. He gave her one last lick, then turned to the cats.
"Please escort me home now. I'm willing to take the punishment from my own leader," he sighed.
Blueocean stood in pain. She knew they could not see each other again, not ever. Oh, how it would pain her when she noticed him in her own kits.
"How dare you?!" Marshpaw growled at her. "Lying to us?"
"It's not that simple," Blueocean began.
"You could've just told us!" Ripplepaw exclaimed.
"ENOUGH!" came a shrill cry. Blueocean turned to see Lifepaw, her kits' friend, step forward.
"I've had enough of you being so cruel. Blueocean loves you three very much, and she did so much to protect you. So what if you're half-StormClan? You're loyal to SnowClan, and that's what matters! My mother is dead, so how can you be so angry at a cat you are blessed to have? And the way you spoke to Gooseleaf! He truly did love you and wanted your forgiveness, but you turned him away. But yet you are not mad at Pinethorn, who also lied to keep you safe. I know you don't want this to be the truth, but it is! And it's makes me so mad that you don't see the blessings in your life and the love of others!" She then ran off, leaving Blueocean alone with the kits.
"I didn't think of it that way," Goosepaw muttered.
"I did not do it to harm you. I wanted to protect you from humiliation. I am very sorry, kits," she said.
"What about Gooseleaf? Would we ever be able to speak to him to forgive him?" Ripplepaw asked.
"I'm afraid that's not possible," Blueocean admitted.
"We're sorry, Pinethorn," Marshpaw said, staring at the tom. "You were just protecting us."
"I truly do care for you all. Even if I'm not your real father," Pinethorn said.
Blueocean's kits nudged against her, and she wrapped her tail around them.
"I am so sorry to lie to you. But I am proud of you. You will all make good warriors," she promised.
They too had tears streaming down their ears. She glanced at Pinethorn and motioned him forward, and all three sat their, embracing for a bit. Her kits went off, leaving her and Pinethorn alone.
"Why don't you get some rest?" Pinethorn offered.
She nodded, and he led her to the warriors den. She curled up in her nest, though she wasn't ready for him to leave yet.
"Could you stay?" she wondered.
Pinethorn looked surprised. "Yeah. Yes," he replied, settling down next to her.
Even if her kits would accept her, she had lost Gooseleaf forever. Their relationship had been falling apart for quite some time, but she had not expected it to come so soon, so suddenly.
She wept quietly as Pinethorn laid down beside her. He wrapped his tail around her, and she buried her face into his side. His presence comforted her as she lay there.
"Can we still be friends?" she asked.
He laughed. "Yes. Of course," he promised, licking her ear.
She grinned and fell asleep behind him. The tears soon ceased, and at last, she could rest once more.