A/N: Merry Christmas everyone. Last chapter. Please give me lots of reviews. It is Christmas. I hope my little gift has made you laugh and given you a few hours of entertainment.
For this chapter I tried to write a song but believe me I am no song writer. Poor Erik is stuck with what I gave him. Just try to pretend it is the greatest ballad you have ever heard even if it stinks like limburger cheese.
Chapter Twelve
An Angel's Message Jo
I don't want to wake from my lovely dream. Lying on my stomach I feel a heavy weight on my back. A moment later I feel a butterfly touch with only a slight rasp of something rough. With my hand I search beside me and come into contact with warm muscled flesh. Investigating further is my intention as I move from one area to another. A low growl reaches my ear when my hand comes too close to a place I know is especially sensitive to the owner of the growl.
"Any more of that and you will wake the beast again. He is a selfish greedy soul with only one thing on his mind."
Rolling over I teasingly retort, "What if I tell you I like selfish greedy beasts? What if there is a similar beast within me, one who only has one thing on her mind?"
Taking my hands and loosely holding them above my head he leans his chest across mine and throws his leg over mine as he returns my teasing, "I'd say the beast is a lucky fellow and will do all he can to make his lady a happy beast as well."
Our kiss is sweet at first then builds into a familiar firestorm. A simple touch can cause such amazing reactions when given by someone special in a certain way. As much as I'd like to carry on with this I must put a stop to it as the children will be waking soon. The clock on the bedside shows me that it is already five o'clock. Usually we would lie in bed for another hour or maybe two on a normal Sunday but today is Christmas. There are presents waiting and breakfast to be gotten through then off to church for an hour of worship then afterward home to enjoy the rest of the day in any way we wish.
"I want nothing more than to continue but really we should stop. You may not know this but on Christmas morning children become the early birds. The off chance of receiving a gift is an incentive they can't resist. If we don't go down they'll think nothing of coming up to roust us out of our bed. Wouldn't they be surprised when they didn't find me snug in my own bed?"
"Surprised? Amanda maybe but I'm not so sure about Jason. I believe he is a lothario in the making. I want nothing more just now than to stay in this bed and take us both to the heavens but as you say it is Christmas Day and what sort of Santa Claus would I be if there were no presents under the tree?"
As I slip from the bed the cold hits me full force. I can feel my nipples hardening. Dull-witted at this early hour I forgot that I have not a stitch on. I let out what would have been a shriek had I not remembered the children resided just a door down the hall. I cross my arms over my chest hoping to save myself some embarrassment. I realize how inadequate my attempt to cover my charms when Erik's eyes drop down to peruse what I have not been mindful to cover. A grin is slowly spreading across his lips showing his straight white teeth. For a moment he looks like a wolf anticipating his next meal. Could he at least pretend to have shame?
"Erik, you sir are no gentleman." Slipping back into bed with him negates any notion I am angry with him. I am not so bold as to prance around naked for his pleasure but if he takes a voyeuristic glance now and then I have to say I won't mind. To further prove he is not in disfavor with me I lean down and tease a path over his face with my lips.
Our coming together is swift, hard and powerful. We know we will have time later to take things slowly the next time. For now reaching a climax is what is driving us with such frenzy. Once passion has abated I get out of bed on my side and Erik gets out on his side. Distance is the only determent as we are still in the budding stage of our romance. Even if a hundred years shall pass I believe I will feel the same then as I do now. I will always want Erik and believe he will want me just as much.
Tonight I know he will tell what he needs to reveal to me. I think he is an honorable man, at least to me he has proven himself to be one. As a man of honor he won't gloss over the parts of his past he would rather not have me know. He has told me he wishes for me to really know him so that I may make an informed choice of whether or not to stay with him. My heart already knows that I cannot live without him. My body may still have life but my soul would die and shrivel without my Erik to feed my inner selfl with the power of his presence. It is a great responsibility I have placed on his shoulders but I know he is worthy of the task.
Erik is dressed first and slips quietly out to retrieve whatever presents he has hidden about the house. My own are hidden under my bed. As Jason and Amanda still have a childish fear of what lurks underneath a bed it is the only safe place to hide anything I do not wish for little prying eyes to see. As I pull out the wrapped packages I feel excitement coursing through me. It is the same every Christmas but especially this year I feel it even more. So much has changed for me, Jason and Amanda and Erik of course. When I stand and turn around the wooden box I use to hold kindling that had been empty last night is now full. Going over to the fireplace I can see my box of matches sitting there as they should be.
As I am about to leave something makes me pause. I feel a light touch upon my cheek. I swear I can smell Uncle Charlie's pipe tobacco. He hasn't been in the house to smoke for a long time and yet I smell it all around me. My dream comes back to me and I know that somehow he had come back to pay me a visit.
Feeling silly I nonetheless whisper an "I love you" just before I leave my room. This Christmas couldn't be more perfect if I had sat down and planned it out in detail. I can see Erik has paid a visit already as there are several packages under the tree that weren't there last night. I don't care if it is childish or not I riffle through the stack of presents until I find one with my name on it. It is square and heavy. My spirits plummet a little when I guess that this must be a book. Now I have nothing against books and it can be romantic to receive one if it is about romance or romantic poems. I had just expected something…well I am not certain what I expected just not a book. Because it is from Erik naturally I shall treasure it. I mustn't let him see my disappointment and really I shouldn't be feeling this way. A gift is special no matter if it is something you need or want and not something silly and romantic. It is a gift from the heart at least in most cases.
I have hardly placed the package back under the tree when Amanda comes flying down the stairs followed by Jason trying to act more grownup when I know all he wants to do is dive for the nearest present. I manage to curb their demand to begin opening presents until Erik has come down. When he does he has stolen my breath and I feel faint. No man has a right to look so handsome and perfectly turned out as he does when it is barely six o'clock. I feel frumpy in my one and only Sunday dress. I will be visiting the general store and inquiring about some cloth for a few new dresses. I feel the need to be more feminine.
Amanda gives me a kiss for her doll but the little carved figurines from Erik with moveable parts are more to her liking. The doll house with intricately detailed furniture and accessories probably would win the heart of any little girl. I do feel an urge to play doll house myself. For Jason Erik had carved a horse with a little replica of himself atop of it. Erik had given Jason an army officer's jacket with a sword drawn ready to do battle. Jason's figure is removable and has moving parts as well. Now I know what Erik did with all those bolts, screws and nails.
I can see Erik is hard pressed to contain his own excitement as a pile of presents are placed in front of him. His face is alight with such joy as he opens them one by one and shows great appreciation for each one. Amanda drew him a family portrait. It wasn't perfect but it was her way of showing Erik we are now one family. He is as much a part of it as the rest of us. Hidden in the picture so that it can only be seen by the discerning eye is a man dressed all in red with white fur trim peeking out from behind the chimney of the house in the background. To save Erik's feelings she had not colored his right cheek the angry red color we know it is. He will treasure this picture I am sure.
Jason had taken a discarded coffee tin and covered it with a piece of softened deer hide. He had used a nail to poke holes in the top. In each hole he had placed a paint brush or pen. The brushes and pen were his but he must care for Erik very much to part with them. I can tell Erik would rather have these simple gifts from the children than something costing more in coin than in love.
When he opens my gift to him for a few seconds all he does is run his hand over the silk of the robe and scarf. Using his finger he traces over the initials I had embroidered. Carefully he lays everything to the side then stands so he can come to me. Grasping my hands he pulls me up and brings me close enough for a deep kiss. There is nothing sexual in this kiss. It is a kiss of such purity and love I am nearly brought to tears.
Releasing me he whispers, "Thank you Jo. No one has ever given me a gift before and to receive such perfect ones as I have today is something I shall remember always." He reaches out with his right hand inviting Amanda and Jason into his arms to share in our embrace. We allow a few quiet moments to pass then go to prepare a meal as a family. Our meal was happily consumed with conversations about our gifts and what we will do once we return home. From the glint in Erik's eye I can expect to be lured back into his bedroom long before dark.
After clearing away Jason and Erik go out to hitch the horse to the wagon. I still feel a little disappointed but have to say the book is lovely. The deep burgundy leather cover must be very expensive and the book as well. Not many people can afford such a lasting treasure. It is something I can pass on to my children. The thought of carrying Erik's child warms my heart. I want his child but wouldn't mind having him to myself before I must devote so much time to an infant. Jason and Amanda take up a lot of my time but they are able to do much for themselves and will continue to do more with age.
The churchyard is filled with people and carriages, buggies and buckboards as well as a few lone horses at the hitching post. More are arriving even as we come to a stop. The church will be filled to bursting today. It always is the same. People who don't come to church at any other time of the year come for the Christmas service. Our dear reverend is wise enough to know that whatever day Christmas falls on the Christmas service is held on that day even if it is not Sunday.
We manage to find our usual seats are still empty. Most of us have particular seats we sort of laid claim to even though everyone can sit wherever they wish. Habits are hard to break and this one is comfortable and familiar. Uncle Charlie had sat in this pew with me for years and then with Jason and Amanda. A couple of times Uncle Charlie had cajoled Erik into coming and sitting with us. I feel as if Uncle Charlie is sitting with us today especially after my dream last night.
The service is beautiful as usual. Reverend Farnsworth is wise to keep repeating this same message every year at this time. It has become a sort of tradition along with asking at the end of the service if anyone would care to share a blessing they received. I was puzzled as we sang hymns Erik did not so much as let out a peep. I know his voice is nothing to be ashamed of and he did not sound hoarse or ill this morning, far from it.
Curiously after the last prayer was said and we were being dismissed Erik stepped forward and leaned in to whisper something in Reverend Farnsworth's ear. It must have been something agreeable as he smiled broadly and patted Erik on the shoulder. Raising his hands he draws everyone's attention when he calls out, "Praise be, Erik has requested that he play the piano and will also be treating us to a song, one he wrote especially for his wife Jo. All you romantic's out there will want to stay and listen to this and everyone else will stay because we know how heavenly he sounds."
I am caught in Erik's fiery green gaze. He has written a song for me and is going to play and sing, for me? I am overwhelmed to say the least. Feeling giddy I plop down on the pew. The buzz of voices quiets around me as Erik takes the piano bench. He makes some adjustments then takes out some sheets of paper from his inner pocket and places them in front of him on the piano. Cocking his ear he plays a few keys and grimaces as the piano is slightly out of tune and the man who tunes it is not due for another two months. I have a feeling Erik could tune the piano with his eyes closed.
When all is quiet Erik begins to play a hauntingly beautiful tune. The notes are at first soft and sweet just as his words are. He is telling me of his love in a song. In front of God and the congregation he declares I am his saving grace, his redemption for earthly sins. His words tell of how I gave him reason to believe not only in himself but in God once more. Whatever in his past filled him with despair he found relief in me. I want to shout "Erik my love, we saved each other. Without you I could not be complete. I would go on but as an empty shell." I want him to know this and I will tell him later. For now I will sit and drink the pure magic of his voice and the music he is playing on an old broken down out of tune piano but nothing has ever sounded so sweet to me.
Once a broken lost soul drifting on the tide of life cast out to sea left to sink in misery until a light came to lead me home. Darkness claimed me until she came to me. She set me free now I am the man I was meant to be.
She is my light, my hope, my love. She is my everything. My light will always lead me home.
No more darkness tearing at my soul no more fear of being alone. It is for her my sins I will atone. Safe in her loving arms is where I long to be, holding tight she will never let me go. Without her hell on earth is all I would know.
She is my light, my hope, my love. She is my everything. My light will always lead me home.
I can face the future where before I could only see despair. Now I know she will always be there. Her love lifts me higher than I have ever been before. She has set me free, there will be no chains holding me down anymore.
She is my light, my hope, my love. She is my everything. My light will always lead me home.
As Erik's voice drifts into silence he continues to play. Each note feels like a touch on my skin. Every nerve is thrumming and my heart has taken on the rhythm of the notes. If this continues much longer I fear I may do something not fit to be done under God's roof.
The last tinkle has gone silent and still no one makes a noise. We are spellbound and need time to recover. I am not the only one affected by Erik's performance. I can see women and a few men wiping at their eyes and blowing there noses. I am proud to have Erik share my gift with everyone but also I am selfish enough to be glad he will be going home with me.
Erik is surrounded by everyone wanting to give him praise. I can see the determined choir master speaking to Erik. Before he knows what hit him Erik will be leading the choir every Sunday or at least those Sundays we can make it to town. I have a feeling that we will come more often. Erik must miss playing his piano at home. Maybe now that he is well we should think about moving into his home. We are comfortable in Uncle Charlie's home but perhaps Erik would like for us to live in his house with his things. It doesn't matter to me as long as Erik and the children are there with me.
The last to thump Erik's back and bless him have finally left so that we can now head home. Erik had not seemed nervous when he sang and played but now that he is closer to me I can see the sheen of perspiration on his upper lip. When I take his arm I can feel him trembling. It hadn't occurred to my until this minute that Erik may not yet be used to so many people in close proximity for any length of time. He is alright if it is a few people with a quick hello or goodbye. He braved this for me, yet another reason to love him, as if I needed anything else.
The conversation on the way home is sparse as the children are tired from their early morning and Erik is still recovering from his ordeal while I am content just to admire my handsome husband as he holds the reins in his capable hands. As soon as we pull into the yard Jason jumps down then helps Amanda from the back. Erik insists he is recovered enough to lift me down. Hesitantly I place my hands on his shoulders. He is looking up at me steadily. What I see there in his face nearly stops my breathing. If I had any last reservations about Erik's total commitment to me after today and at this instant there is no room for any reservations.
For the rest of the day I drift on a cloud. Erik and I sat quietly by the fire. I read my book and quit honestly I think Erik only pretended to be interested in his as he constantly leaned over to nibble at my neck or my ear. He ran his finger over the back of my hand and then up over my arm causing me to shiver and break out in gooseflesh. I know he is deliberately trying to distract me as I caught the sensual tug at the corner of his mouth as I snuck a peek out of the corner of my eye. Knowing I'll not be able to hold him off much longer I feel now would be a good time for us to have our talk. The children have gone upstairs and all is peaceful. It is just the two of us. He can speak freely without fear of interruption or of someone overhearing him.
Snapping my book closed decisively I turn to him and say, "Erik I do believe we are due for a talk. You have things you wish to get off your mind and I want to hear about them. I'll sit here quietly and not interrupt. This may be your one chance to speak without me adding my two cents so you had better take advantage while you can."
Erik has ceased to move and I fear he may even be holding his breath. Surely what he is to impart isn't so awful it causes him this much stress? He begins hesitantly at first then the words seem to come forth in a tidal wave as he imparts all he can remember of his life and much I am certain he would rather have forgotten. What he tells me brings me to tears as well as indignation for how everyone treated him.
He speaks highly of this Madame Giry person and rather too fondly of that Christine Daaé person. This must be the infamous Christine of his delirium. All he speaks of her gives me the impression she led a very sheltered life despite growing up in an environment that is usually of loose morals.
Shame fills his voice as he speaks about his duplicitous actions toward the very young Christine. There is enough blame to go round for all that took place. She may have been innocent but all girls grow out of their childhood fantasies sooner or later. Her adoptive mother, this Madame Giry, may have contributed to her continued belief or pretense to believe in the Angel of Music. Perhaps the woman hoped that a soul of such purity would save Erik from himself.
It is hard to imagine him as the cold hearted person he describes. Clearly he is repentant for all he did. The person he described has no resemblance to who Erik is now. If he still had any of those old urges to destroy all around him if everyone did not do his bidding I would pack our bags and be gone before another sunrise. The truth of the matter is that Erik is…well simply Erik, the man I love and the man who has shone me nothing but gentleness and consideration. Yes, at first he was difficult but then so was I.
When he has been silent for a minute or two I grasp his hands in mine. He raises his head and it breaks my heart to see so much grief contained in one person. Erik has made others suffer but none so much as he has made himself suffer. It is time for him to know he has shed enough tears and ask for God's forgiveness and to forgive himself.
"Erik, I love you. Nothing can change that. The person you spoke of is not the person we know. That man is some stranger. That man would not have gone out into a blizzard to keep a promise he made to a dying man. He would not have even made such a promise."
He is listening but I can still see doubt clouding his green eyes so I continue as I implore him, "Erik would that man have let two children carry on in their belief that he is Santa Claus? Would he have let bible thumping Christians force him into taking on a wife and her sister and brother? Would he have not laughed then burned the church to the ground? Erik my love would that man have set foot inside a house of worship and sang so gloriously about redemption and love? You Erik are no longer that man. You are Erik Delacroix, a man with a family that will love him for as long as he walks among them and then into the great beyond."
Still he is uncertain so I will show him in the only way I am sure will convince him of what he means to me. Giving him no time to protest if that indeed would be his response, which I doubt, I lean forward and kiss him deeply without any restraint. I let my lips and hands tell him of what I am seeking. I am Jezebel luring my man into my wanton clutches.
"Let us go upstairs Erik. I want more than can be accommodated on the settee." I kiss him even as I am speaking. It is as if I cannot bear to part for even that short span of time. Erik's response is all I could hope for it to be. He scoops me up into his powerful arms then heads for the stairs. I want to protest but fear hurting his manly pride. When we reach the top of the stairs and are at the door to his bedroom, now ours, I sigh in relief. Without letting me down he leans over and opens the door. He does not even pause in his stride once the door is closed. We are at the bed and I am being gently deposited on the coverlet.
Erik stands before me waiting I suppose to see what boldness will now be forthcoming. He cocks his brow and a smile tugs at his mouth. He is doubting that I have the courage of my convictions. Well he had best learn I am nothing if not one willing to go boldly forward especially when I know just what waits for me at the end of my quest.
Keeping my face devoid of any expression is very hard to do with Erik standing over me like a hungry animal about to pounce. He is hungry right enough but not for food. With an innocent look on my face I begin to undo my buttons one at a time. My dress may not be silk or some other slithery seductive material but as my fingers work free the buttons Erik's face suffuses with color and his eyes darken to an even more brilliant green. I don't have the nerve to look down to see if he has a more visible reaction to my teasing.
It is my intention to slowly remove my clothing but apparently Erik has other ideas. I am standing naked in short order and Erik as well has discarded his clothing without me being aware of it. Perhaps that is because my attention had been focused on smooth skin and hard muscles. I know for sure my hands were engaged in a close study of his form. We are still not well learned in the art of love but we know enough to have us at fever pitch without much effort. I want this time to be for Erik's benefit. He will know for certain that I see him as a man and only as a man, one I adore and lust after wholeheartedly.
When he would have laid me back I stay him with my hands on his chest. Pushing on him slightly he gives way and allows me to have my way. My body may be redder than a woodpecker's feathers but I'll not let shyness deter me. Kissing Erik on his lips I run my tongue over them and he is quick to open his mouth. When I nibble his bottom lip he grasps me by my waist and drags me across his chest. I can feel the rasp of his chest hair on my breasts. I can feel my nipples harden and the jolt of sensation all the way to where Erik taught me is more sensitive and responsive to touch. Without him touching me I can feel the pooling of my feminine response to him.
I don't leave out one inch of his skin when kissing his firm flesh. His groan when I take his male nipple into my mouth fuels my own passion. Slowly I work my way down his body to the place where his manhood is hard and twitching with every touch upon his flesh. Daringly I kiss my way closer to that hard shaft wondering if I dare taste him or if he would think me perverted. Perhaps this time is not the time for such things. When we are more sure of one another we can explore the different ways that we can make love. For now what we have already done has my head spinning and my body ready to go up in flames.
I must have taken Erik too close to the flames for he groans pulling me up and straddles me over him. He is not asking but demanding that I take him in and I have to say I am eager to have him fill me. Rather clumsily I fumble but manage to work things so he is within me before his passion could come to an abrupt end.
There is no pain this time. It is still a new sensation to be filled this way but one I feel I will like very much. Tentatively I move bringing forth another groan which someone might mistake for a cry of agony. I pray the children remain sleeping for I don't have the heart to shush Erik. It is gratifying to know it is because of me he has lost control and does not care who knows it.
"God Jo you are going to kill me. One touch from you and I am ready to spill within seconds." He must not mind for he places his hands on either side of my hips and guides me in a rhythm guaranteed to bring us both over the edge. My control by now has slipped and I have to bite my lip to keep back my cries as wave after wave washes over me. With one last frantic push upward Erik releases into me and I am right behind him. The ripples afterward leave me quivering inside. I can feel my womanhood pulsating around Erik's now flaccid flesh. All I have strength to do is drop onto his chest limp as a rag doll.
Later I am able to tell Erik in words what he needs to hear most. I suppose my complete acceptance of him without any reservations is the best gift I could give to him on this day which represents rebirth, salvation, and forgiveness and most of all love. Erik has all of this and more.
Outside there in the darkness a light is glowing where no light should be. The light takes form of an old man. He is looking up at the window where Jo and Erik are now sleeping peacefully in one another's arms.
"Well Jo I have done what I came to do. You'll be safe in Erik's hands. He'll be able to curb that little devil Jason right enough. That angel Amanda will have him eating out of her hand like as not. My one regret in all of this is that I'll not be around to see your children, lest wise not personally but be assured I'll be watching over you all and come Christmastime I may pay a visit. Until then Jo I leave you in Erik's capable hands."
The man's form became diffused light that faded away until not a single ray could be seen. He had left a house filled with love and many years of joy to come. No phantom or opera ghost would ever haunt the man Erik had become. Family gave him the courage to leave all the old baggage safely locked away in the past where it belonged.
Peace on earth goodwill toward men. May you all have the merriest of Christmas'.