Disclaimer : One Piece belongs to Oda Eiichirō.
Rating : K

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For worse or better

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When he came to he was on the ship, but things weren't as he remembered them. It should be Sanji's body tied to the mast, not Elaine's. Zoro had been in Bonney's drowning body, but now the captain's soaked form was grouped at the railing with the raccoons, holding onto a rope. It didn't make sense. And where was Sanji?

The instant he thought of him, Zoro was looking at him. Sanji was in the water next to the ship, twisting the end of a rope around his wrist. Zoro was distracted from wondering how he'd suddenly got there by the sight of Sanji's other arm around his body. Wait, if it was over there then where was- Zoro looked down at himself and saw only the sea. No body?! But he was right here.

He hadn't died, had he? If he was a ghost then that could explain how he'd been able to instantly move to where Sanji was, and how he was able to float up along the deck at the same pace the cook was hoisted up.

Sanji vaulted over the gunwale. It started raining.

'Oh no, he drowned!' Gaston gasped.

Zoro watched as Sanji lowered his body to the deck – even though he didn't have eyes, yohohoho!

Sanji put the lantern on the deck, but the lungfish was done glowing. He pressed his face against the glass casing, which Zoro could somehow see as if he was in the lantern with the fish.

'Light up, you rotten bulb!' Sanji's scary mug filled the animal's entire field of vision. No wonder it screeched and curled in on itself, trembling with fear.

Sanji grumbled and pulled out the cola-powered lighter Frankie had designed for him. A small dial allowed the user to adjust the flame, and in super style, provided one as strong as a blowtorch. Sanji gave the lighter to Bonney. The captain sat down on his knees opposite him with Zoro's body between them. It was raining harder.

Sanji placed his hands just below Zoro's ears and jutted his jaw forward. The three golden earrings jangled against his fingers. He placed his ear close to Zoro's face to listen for breathing, watching at the same time whether his chest moved.

'What are you doing?' Bonney asked.

Considering four of their crew were devil fruit users at sea, doctor included, Chopper had insisted they all learn how to revive a drowned person. Breaths, compressions, rinse and repeat.

Sanji slicked back wet bangs. Zoro had never seen both his eyebrows at the same time before. Devil fruit spirals facing the same direction. The light coming from the lighter was very kind to him, darkening the blue of his eyes. There wasn't a hint of worry on his face, only determination.

Strike three. And Zoro was out all right - out of body!

Sanji pinched his nose shut so air couldn't escape.

This was not how he'd imagined their first kiss would go. The life-or-death situation, that was par for the course, but he would have liked to at least have been in his body for it.

Again. Again. Sounds seemed to come from a great distance. All Zoro could do was watch as Sanji breathed air into him. He couldn't even say anything. Is this what Brook had felt like while his spirit had searched for his body in the Florian Triangle? Being able to do nothing but float, aware of everything but unable to interact with anything. You needed a body for that.

How long could Sanji keep this up with those smoker lungs of his? He'd suffered the drowning in Bonney's body too, it must have taken its toll on him.

Suddenly Zoro felt a sickening lurch, like he was in freefall. He tried to catch himself - and landed in his body. He jerked awake. Sanji quickly turned him on his side as he coughed up water and retched. He put a hand on Zoro's back, a touch that anchored him. Zoro's lungs hurt and his chest burned because of the vomiting, but the pain was welcome.

'How did you do that?' Bonney asked. 'Are you a miracle worker?'

'No miracle.' Sanji sounded out of breath. 'Just doing what our doctor taught us.'

'Can you teach our doctor that?'

'If your doctor was a pretty lady, not some flea ridden furball.'

'For the last time, we don't have fleas!'

Slowly the spots in Zoro's vision cleared.

'Here'. Sanji gave him the tissue from his coat pocket. Zoro sat up. He soaked the tissue in the rain and wiped his mouth.

He turned his head to look at Sanji.

'Thanks,' he said hoarsely.

Sanji's hand moved to cover one of the twirls back up. 'You're not going to make me find the crew alone, marimmph-.'

There were probably a dozen good reasons not to do it like this, ranging from not even knowing if Sanji could like him that way to what was the normal, or at least somewhat acceptable way to go about this - but Zoro had never bothered with social niceties. As for figuring out how Sanji felt, pirates didn't exactly lead safe lives. No telling whether tomorrow would even come. He'd just escaped death. He wasn't going to waste this chance. Might not get another one. So the blunt force approach was the way to go. That way he'd know how Sanji felt. As for the consequences, worst that could happen was Sanji kicking him and rejecting him.

He'd pay that price gladly for this moment because right now this is what he wanted. Feel those lips for real this time, take more of his breath away, give breath back, thank him for saving his life.

It was awkward, because he'd never kissed anyone before and it was Sanji. It was awesome because he tasted cloves and salty seawater and it was Sanji.

Zoro pulled back. Surrounded by gaping pirates - Sanji included- with the only sound coming from the rain hitting the deck.

'Captain, is that you?' Gaston ventured.

Bonney squeezed his snout. 'I'm right here,' he growled.

'Ish id Elai-'

'It was me,' Zoro cut Gaston off in a tone that left no doubt as to who was talking. Cologne squinted.

'Maybe he came back wrong.'

'What are you implying?' Zoro glared. 'That I wouldn't kiss him unless there was something wrong with me?'

The words sounded absurdly loud with everyone being quiet. Sanji's eyes glazed over. He stood up and turned around to Elaine.

'Pretty lady,' he monotoned. 'Have to help the pretty lady.'

He walked over to her.

'Looks like he reverted to factory settings,' Gaston muttered. Meanwhile Cologne nervously assured Zoro he hadn't meant that at all.

'It just seems out of character,' the raccoon sweated. 'I mean, judging from his reaction…' He gestured at Sanji, who'd started untying the rope.

'I'm perfectly in character.'

'R-right.'

'So that's it then,' a grizzly raccoon with bushy eyebrows lamented. 'The lady will leave and we'll be stuck like this for another year.'

'I'm sorry,' Bonney hung his head. Zoro got to his feet. Woozy. Dying really took it out of you.

'Are you all right, Elaine-san?'

She'd woken up, good. Sanji helped her to her feet. Aside from taking Zoro's attacks she'd also hit the foremast hard. The cook's body was tough though.

'We're running out of time, so listen up,' Zoro said. 'The curse can still be broken.'

'What?' Bonney lifted his head. 'How, I…' He couldn't bring himself to say it. That made two of them. Zoro steeled his resolve, because this one would not go over well.

'You said it was love at first sight.'

'It was,' Bonney confirmed, with a certainty that would have been endearing if it wasn't misplaced.

'But you didn't fall in love with Elaine. You…' Zoro still couldn't believe he was the only one who'd realized it, him of all people. 'You said it yourself. Her fire is right here.'

Everyone followed Zoro's pointed finger. To her credit, Elaine cottoned on right away, maybe because she knew a little something about souls swapping and the horrible hybrid creatures it brought forth. She looked disbelievingly at Sanji.

Zoro winced at the sight of Bonney. The captain looked absolutely mortified. At times like this he could understand why they were called devil fruits. Surely it was the work of some kind of devil to twist love, an emotion already capable of messing you up on its own, by making you fall for someone who didn't exist. Moreover, Bonney had to realize he'd probably just really hurt Elaine, which to a man like him was an even worse thing to live with.

'You're wrong,' Bonney's voice was thick with emotion. 'I do love her.'

'Maybe you do. But not as much as you love…Sanjilaine.'

'Who the hell is Sanjilaine!' The cook's shark teeth snapped shut on the name. Back to form. Zoro shrugged.

'What else am I supposed to call it?'

'How about nothing at all!'

'So in order to break the curse, Sanji would have to be switched with me when you marry him.' Elaine said it so matter-of-factly it startled Zoro. The earlier surprise was gone. He scrutinized her face, but it didn't seem like she was pretending not to be hurt. Same down-to-earth practicality as Nami. He made another mental note never to let those two meet.

Elaine didn't look at Sanji. She knew by now that he'd take a mere look as a cue. A woman's wish was his command. But though she used people to save her own hide, she drew a line as well. She wouldn't force him to do this.

Morning twilight began lighting the sky. The sun was just below the horizon. It wouldn't be long now, a few minutes tops. Bonney's chance would soon be gone, dooming him and the raccoons to another year of this miserable existence. Zoro wasn't sure how they would take that, having come closer than ever to being saved, only to have it snatched away. That would solicit sympathy from anyone safe the most cold-hearted bastards. But however much symp-

'Switch us.'

He did a double take when he heard Sanji choke out the words. He couldn't believe it. And yet he could. This was exactly what Zoro had come to expect from him. What Elaine wanted was a husband who would protect her. That's what Bonney would do, protect her when Sanji couldn't. That's what mattered, more than anything. Helping a woman was his pride. Whatever it took to keep her safe, he'd do it. And help a bunch of cursed raccoons to boot.

That didn't mean it was going to be easy. Sanji looked at Elaine as if he were about to walk the plank.

'You don't have to do this.'

'Just…get it over with.'

Elaine hesitated, but dawn was so close to breaking. No more time. For her own sake, for the sake of Bonney and his crew…

'Switch!'

Slender fingers searched the maroon coat for a cigarette that wasn't there. Sanji stuffed both hands in his pockets. He looked at Bonney, but his eyes didn't go higher than his collarbone.

'Get on with it.' he gritted between clenched teeth. Ah, the romance.

Gaston didn't need to be told twice. 'Do you, Ela- eh…San- Sanjilaine-' Sanji flinched. - 'take Thomas Bonney, to be your partner in life?'

'I…I…guh…' Sanji coughed, blood spurting from his mouth.

'If you're struggling this much then stop!' Cologne shouted anxiously.

Sanji wiped his mouth with his sleeve. 'I do.'

He looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him up. Zoro couldn't blame him. This was the icing on the crazy cake.

'Do you, Thomas Bonney, take Sanjilaine to be your partner in life?'

'I do.'

'Good, you're married!'

Nothing happened.

'No…No!' Gaston cried desperately. 'It has to work!'

'How can anything work if you keep calling me Sanjilaine!' Sanji snapped hoarsely.

'That's not it.' Elaine's brow furrowed as she thought out loud. 'The curse breaks when you marry your true love. So either it's not true love or-'

'The ceremony is valid!' Gaston protested. 'I'm a certified minister!'

She shook her head. 'No…It's-' Her eyes widened. 'Ceremony…That's it! That's got to be it!'

'What?' Bonney wasn't the only one giving her a confused look.

'The ceremony's not over yet. Not until you kiss!'

'Wh-What..?' Sanji swayed.

'The kiss seals the deal!' Cologne exclaimed.

'Well, that's not how I would have put it but…'

Elaine put a hand against the back of Bonney's head and Sanji's head and pushed them together. Once again the deck went quiet as a whisper.

Bonney pulled back a heartbeat before the first rays of sunlight spread across the sea. The crew of the Lady Glaive suddenly disappeared in flashes of green light. On the other ships, more flashes could be seen, until startled humans crewed the decks instead of the raccoons. Thankfully the curse was thoughtful enough to resize their clothes or there'd be a bunch of pirates running around half-naked wearing tatters and nobody wanted to see that.

'I'm human again!' Cologne's disbelieving cry broke the silence first. 'I'm human again!' He threw up his arms. 'The curse has been broken!'

Exhilaration spread like wildfire. The sea was suddenly loud, cheering and roaring bouncing between the ships.

Gaston clapped Bonney on the shoulder with a huge grin on his face. 'Captain, we're free! We're free! You did it! You really did it!'

A slow smile worked its way across Bonney's face and into his eyes.

'We're free,' he repeated. 'It's over.' He smiled, a bit sadly. 'Thanks to- Sanji-san?'

The cook stood stock-still. His eyes didn't blink once.

'Is he breathing?' Gaston asked worriedly.

'Quick, switch back,' Zoro urged.

A word and Elaine was back in her body and Sanji in his. It didn't help.

'Maybe we should-'

A loud, ominous creaking interrupted her.

'The ship!' Cologne gasped. A crack tore across the deck, up the main mast.

Bonney looked up. Above them, the crow's nest started crumbling. All around them, the other ships suffered the same fate.

'They're breaking apart! It's the curse! It was the only thing keeping the fleet together. Abandon ship! Abandon ship!'

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tbc