I've just finished the longest day at work. Here's a little update for you all as promised! As always, your support (reviews, follows, favourites) means the world to me and I'm so thankful! Enjoy! x

CHAPTER 12

The shrill beeping of Cate's alarm woke her from her dreamless slumber, and with a groan she rolled over and switched it off before turning onto her back. She lay there for a minute and suddenly broke into a smile as she found herself thinking about the night before. Spending time with Juice had been wonderful, it had made her feel human again and for the few hours she was with him, she'd forgotten all about her troubles. A random laugh bubbled out from between her lips and she brought her hands up to cover her smiling face. She felt like an idiot for reacting in such a way, but she was pleased she'd woken up feeling happy for once. It was the first natural sleep she'd had in a long time where she hadn't had a nightmare.. She felt a little suspicious of the fact, but decided to pay no attention to it and be thankful for it instead.

Cate pushed her hands over her head, sweeping her hair away from her face before she sat herself up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. It was then that she grabbed her phone to see that she had 2 unread messages from Juice which instantly brought another smile to her face. She'd received them at night and she'd already been fast asleep at that time.

J: I hope u had fun tonight and got home OK

J: Ur prob asleep, sleep well Cate

She'd brought her finger up to her mouth and had been chewing on her nail through a smile as she read the message. He was really sweet.. Sweeter than any of the other men she'd met before.

C: Morning, sorry I was out like a light. I had a great time. Enjoyed the rideon your cool bike.

She let out a quick and quiet laugh as she sent the message, wondering how long the joke of 'cool bike' would continue. Cate put her phone down and then got up, it was almost 9 o'clock and she knew she had to get ready to head out; she had another session with her psychiatrist scheduled.. He'd recommended it and she was well aware of why.. An anniversary was quickly approaching and he wanted to make sure she was ok. She'd been trying to ignore it, and was still trying to. She planned on heading to the gym afterwards, knowing she'd need to vent her emotions in some way.

An hour or so later and Cate had gotten herself ready and had left the house. She'd gone out in her gym clothes, since she was going nowhere special and would be heading straight to the gym after she was done with Ross. Instead of driving, she decided that she would walk into town today.. It would give her a chance to clear her mind before and after her session. She disliked them, she didn't like talking about her issues and she often avoided the subject, which made the sessions hard for Ross as the whole idea of them was to help her control her symptoms and deal with her problems. She knew she was hard work, she'd always been stubborn but even more so now. All she wanted to do was tuck all of her memories and feelings that came with them away into a box and bury it in the deepest, darkest corners of her mind. But that wouldn't work and deep down, she knew that.

"Cate.. Good to see you." Ross greeted as she finally entered his office. She gave him a small smile and a nod of her head before she crossed the room and perched herself in her usual seat, sitting upright and tense as she always did. "So, how have you been?" He asked as she watched him cross the room to sit on the seat across from her, her notes in his hands.

"I've been good.." she told him confidently, nodding her head as if it were a extra form of confirmation. "I didn't have any nightmares last night." She added eagerly, wanting him to see that she'd at least had one form of improvement, since she didn't make improvements very often, not lately anyway. He raised his eyebrows and this and gave her a smile.

"That's great news, Cate.." He told her, briefly looking down to scribble his pen across her notes. She wondered what he was writing, what her documented about her during their sessions. "But you had them every other night?" There it was.. Almost as if she couldn't have one good thing without being reminded of the bad. She slowly nodded her head in response to his question. "What was different about yesterday then? Did you do anything differently? It will be interesting to see if there's a explanation for why you didn't have the reoccurring nightmares.." Cate immediately knew the answer, although she was concerned that it might sound a little silly.

"I went out after work last night." She informed him and he seemed to perk up at the news and nodded his head appreciatively, noting down what she'd told him down onto his paperwork.

"That's wonderful, Cate!" he told her enthusiastically, smiling over at her. She returned his gesture with a smaller smile and she nodded her head slowly. "Was it with Lisa? You said she'd been wanting to do something with you for a while.." Cate cleared her throat and fidgeted in her seat for a second before stilling.

"Uh, no it wasn't.. I went out with a guy I met last week.." She told him, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear. Ross' expression changed and he pursed his lips slightly and tapped his pen against the paper on his lap. It sounded awfully loud in the silence of his office. "He towed my car when it broke down.. my neighbour is a mutual friend so we kinda bumped into each other a couple of times and he asked if I wanted to go on a ride on his bike, and I did, so we just.. Went." She explained, cracking her knuckles. Ross gave a slow nod and glanced down at the notes before looking back over at her.

"And you had a good time?" He asked her softly after a moment of silence.

"I did.." She admitted and found herself smiling a little which she tried to hide with a bite of her lip.

"That's great.." He didn't sound too enthused about the news, he sounded more excited when he'd thought that she had maybe gone out with Lisa. "Bike, you say?" he questioned and she nodded. "A motorcycle?" he asked and again, she nodded.

"Yeah.. It was fun." She replied and couldn't help but notice a brief look of concern flash across his features.

"Just be careful, Cate. You don't want to rush into anything with the wrong type of.. people." He informed her and she felt herself frown then.

"Ross.. For a few hours last night, I felt happy.. I felt like my old self. I woke up this morning smiling.. Smiling!" she stressed the fact, sitting forward in her seat now. "I spoke about my brother.. Willingly. I almost had one of my 'attacks' and he dealt with it so well.. He didn't treat me like I was a nutjob when it happened, either." Cate explained, almost as if she felt like she had to defend Juice to her psychiatrist who'd sounded quite judgemental about him. All because he rode a motorcycle.. What was so wrong with that? Ross sighed and then gave a nod, sitting further back in his seat.

"I'm really pleased to hear that, Cate.." He told her with another smile, however this one looked a little more forced. Cate didn't understand why he was being so weird about it.

"What's the problem here, Ross?" she questioned, finally losing her patience and not wanting to act like she hadn't noticed his behaviour.

"Cate, it's just these biker types have a reputation.. In fact I'm surprised you've not heard. They're known to be menaces, and I want what's best for you. And I'm not really sure if being around that is going to be good for you in the grand scheme of things." He explained, being totally honest with her now that she'd called him out. Cate frowned again and shook her head; she'd not heard anything of that sort.. He was probably just being presumptuous or listening to the small town gossip like everybody else.

"He's a mechanic, Ross. He and his colleagues like motorcycles, what's so wrong with that?" the question was rhetorical, and sarcasm leaked into her tone, she didn't like that he was being judgemental.

"Ok, Cate.." He sighed and she hoped he would drop the topic now that he knew what she thought about it. "We're getting off topic.." he continued, shuffling through his papers. "The one year anniversary of your accident is coming up next week and you've been avoiding the conversation." He came right out with it and she felt her breath catch in her throat. She had been avoiding it. Ross had warned her during the first few months that a lot of people in similar situations found the anniversaries of the events were quite difficult times, some of the most difficult perhaps. The thought worried Cate.. She'd been so awful in the earlier months and she was scared that she'd be like that, or even worse. So she simply avoided it and tried not to think about it, hoping that perhaps one day she would forget about the date completely. "You can't just forget about it, Cate.." It was as if he'd just read her mind. "It'll creep up on you and it will be even worse to deal with.. You need to acknowledge it." he concluded and she finally swallowed the lump in her throat.

"I have.. I am" she lied.

"We both know that's not true.." Again, it was as if he was in her mind, reaching into all the corners she left untouched. Cate sighed and reached her hands up, tucking her hair behind her ears.

"I'll deal with it when it comes, Ross. I don't want to spend all my time worrying about it. It's a date in a calendar.. One normal day out of 365 other days.. I'll be fine." She told him matter-of-factly, really not wanting to talk about it anymore.

"Ok.." He didn't seem convinced, then again, neither was she.

40 minutes later and their session was finished. Cate had escaped the room full of negative energy and had made her way outside. She hated the sessions.. Simply hated them and all the feelings they dragged up. She often wished none of this had ever happened, that she'd never gone into the army, and then none of this would have come to be. She wouldn't be suffering with PTSD; she wouldn't be all fucked up. She'd be normal.. Normal, boring and mediocre. Cate pulled her phone from her drawstring gym bag to check the time, but found she had a text from Juice, he must have replied during her session when her phone was on silent (which she'd now turned off).

J: Hey, u busy today?

He was very much a straight to the point kind of person and she couldn't help but smile as she looked down at his text.

C: Not much, just heading to the gym. You?

She replied and began to make her way down the street towards her gym, phone held in her hand down by her side. It didn't take long for her to get there and she was pleased to see that it was relatively quiet. With no reply from Juice, she popped her phone back into her bag, stored it in a locker and got to it.

By the time she'd finished her session, she was covered with a thin and glistening layer of sweat. She'd worked out to her 'angry playlist' and let out some of her frustrations and negative energy into her workout. She'd spent a lot of time on the boxing bags, and now her hands felt sore, despite having them wrapped. She didn't mind it though. After using a small towel to dry her face and chest, she made her way over to her locker and retrieved her bag, grabbing her phone from inside of it. Another text from Juice was present on her phone and she grinned.

J: Just working. So boring! Need a break soon.

Cate checked the time, it was almost midday now and she pondered on a thought. She would be walking home; perhaps she could wander by Teller-Morrow on her way back? She could do with the distraction after her session a little while ago.. He might not even be free though; he was probably super busy working on some unfortunate souls broken down vehicle. However, she wondered what the harm in asking would be? She could make it seem casual, like it was just a quick idea.

C: Need some company for that break?

She sent it and instantly felt anxiety bubble up in her gut. Why had she done that? She didn't want to seem eager or desperate, they'd only seen each other last night. But she would like to, she enjoyed their conversations and his company. She just wasn't used to all of it.. She knew girls had rules such as 'don't send the first text' but she didn't believe in all that. Cate was a firm believer in doing what you wanted. Within minutes, her phone made a sound, alerting her of a text message.

J: Only if you bring coffee

It buzzed in her hand again

J: jk, if u want to, that would be cool

Cate smiled then and she found herself walking a little faster down the sidewalk. She was so distracted in her thoughts that she didn't even think of replying to him. Instead, she carried on with her path, reaching up to pull her messy ponytail tighter. She knew she looked scruffy, but she didn't really mind.. All he times he'd seen her she'd been scruffy, apart from the one night at Gemma's barbeque where she'd made an effort to look a little nicer. Cate stopped off in a café on the way to Teller-Morrow and picked up one ordinary coffee and one decaf iced latte for herself.. Normal coffee made her heart race and triggered her anxiety, so she had learnt to avoid that.

As she neared the garage, she felt her stomach tighten and her heart race within her chest, almost as if she had drunk some coffee. She cleared her throat, drew in a deep breath and made her way through the entrance. It was fairly busy, similar to how it was the first and last time she'd been there. As she walked up towards the garage, she noticed a number of bikes parked up, her eyes falling on Juice's cool one.. She smiled at the thought.

"Cate!" She heard someone call and she looked away from the bikes towards the garage, to see Juice stepping out from the inside where a couple of cars were parked up. He was smiling widely in her direction and so she gave him a smile back, she didn't even have to think about whether to smile or not, it just happened.

"Hey Juice.." she greeted once she'd neared him, he had walked towards her too and they'd met somewhat in the middle. He was wiping his hands clean of grease with a cloth. "Here you go" she said whilst extending the coffee towards him.

"Oh man.. I wasn't being serious.. You didn't have to get me anything.." He stammered, looking down at the cup before returning his gaze to hers. Cate rolled her eyes and pushed it out more, closer towards him.

"I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to. So take the damn coffee!" she laughed as she finished her sentence and he finally relented, taking the coffee from her hand.

"Thanks, doc.. You're a lifesaver.. Literally.. Inside the hospital and out of it." He told her and then nodded towards the picnic bench and moved over to it. Cate followed.

"Don't worry about it.." She began with a laugh, sitting down on the bench opposite him, resting the plastic cup of her iced coffee down on the table. "So how're you?" she asked and Juice smiled at her and shrugged his shoulders.

"Not bad.. The boys are keepin' me busy, keep givin' me the crappy jobs.." He gave a playful scowl as he cast a look over his shoulder towards the garage before looking back at her. Cate took a brief moment to look past him and over to where he looked, she caught eye with the curly-black-haired man she'd seen before, Tig, if she remembered correctly, who winked at her when she saw him look. She ignored it and looked back at Juice's face, smiling. "What about you? You ok? How was the gym?" he asked, one after the other and Cate chuckled.

"Yeah I'm fine and the gym was good.. Think I went a little too hard on the bags though.." She said, rubbing at her knuckles which still looked a little red. She noticed Juice looked down at them, briefly looking a little concerned, before he met her gaze again. "I had a lot of negative energy to take out on them." She explained, answering the question she knew he was probably about to ask her.

"Why all the negativity? I thought you had a good time last night.." He almost sounded disheartened and Cate suddenly sat straighter and leant forward a little.

"Oh god no!" she rushed out, shaking her head. "I had such a fun time, Juice!" Cate continued, not wanting him to think for a second that she had any negative thoughts or feelings which came from their little outing the night before. "I always get a little.. meh.. after my psych-.." she stopped suddenly, as she noticed she'd basically let slip about her appointments. Juice had noticed as his brow dipped as he watched her. She could try to dig her way out of it but it would just look weird.. And strangely enough, she felt inclined to tell Juice the truth. It was a weird feeling, because she hadn't known him very long.. But he just had such a trustworthy vibe to him; it was something she couldn't particularly explain. All she knew was that she didn't want to lie. However, instead of explaining what she had just been about to say, she decided to simplify it in an attempt to perhaps avoid more questions until she was ready. Cate moved in a little and reached a hand up to rub awkwardly at her collar bone. "I have PTSD.." She told him quietly, glad that nobody else was around to hear her. Juice's features softened then and he gave a slow, single nod of his head in understanding.

"I see.." He began in a thoughtful voice. That was it, she'd blown it. He'd decide that he wouldn't want to converse with a mental case anymore and stop texting her. "I uh.." he started and Cate lowered her gaze, preparing herself for the inevitable blow. "I have OCD.. If that helps.." Cate's eyes suddenly flickered back up towards his face, a small smile evident on his lips as she met his big brown eyes with her own bright blue ones. Cate suddenly felt herself smile involuntarily, and she wondered why she'd felt so worried about him reacting badly to the fact she had some mental health issues. Here he was, trying to make her feel less uncomfortable with her revelation, by revealing one of his own person issues. Now it made sense, why he was always scrubbing the grease and grime away from his skin both times she'd seen him there at the garage.

"You do?" she asked softly and he nodded at her in response. "You didn't have to tell me that, Juice.." she informed him, almost feeling bad, like she'd somehow forced him into it.

"I know I didn't have to.." He began and she could immediately see where he was growing, her smile returning in full force. He was repeating her teasing words to him which she'd said not long ago when she gave him the coffee. "But I wanted to.." he finished, quoting her word for word when she gave him his coffee before, returning her smile. Cate was still grinning like an idiot and she rolled her eyes in a playful gesture, shaking her head.

"Well.. Thank you.." she told him honestly and she hoped that he'd realise how much she meant it.

"No problem, doc.." He replied with a wave of his hand before taking a large mouthful from his coffee. She watched as he suddenly struggled to swallow the mouthful, bringing his fist up to rest in front of his mouth. "Jesus, this is hot!" he hissed, coughing once he'd swallowed. Cate was laughing at that point, tears coming to the corners of her eyes.

"Oh i'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh.. But it's hot coffee, what did you expect?" she laughed, reaching up to wipe beneath her eyes, sighing contently once she'd calmed down.

"I don't know.. I was distracted, ok?" he laughed as well and it set her off again so that they were both laughing together.

"JUICE?!" She heard someone call and they both looked over to the source of the voice. It was Tig. "I need your help, bro!" he shouted over and she turned her attention back to Juice, watching as he slumped and groaned deep within his throat.

"You literally just got here.." He grumbled, turning back to face her. A small smile spread across her lips and she shook her head.

"Honestly, don't worry about it. I was heading home anyway.." She assured him but she couldn't help but noticed the disappointed look on his features and his reluctant attitude. "Go on, before he gets mad.. He looks a little crazy." She commented and he laughed at this, breaking him out of his disappointed slump.

"You're not wrong.." He replied, and followed Cate's movement as she rose to her feet. "Well.. I'll see you around, right?" he asked and Cate nodded.

"Of course.. Now go before he shouts at me next.." Cate laughed and watched as Juice nodded before he turned and made his way away from her, towards the garage. However, her stopped and turned back to face her, walking backwards now.

"Bye Cate.. I'll call ya!" He shouted with a grin on his face before he turned back around, and from somewhere Cate swore she heard a wolf whistle. She rolled her eyes, still smiling, before turning around to make her way out of the compound herself. However, as she made her way out, she found herself having to step aside to make way for a cop car. She noticed Unser was driving, and then caught each other's gaze for a moment. A look of concern crossed his features but all she did was flash him a little smile before he drove past completely. She did wonder though, what he was doing at Teller-Morrow. Once she reached the exit, she turned slightly to look back over at the garage where she noticed Wayne getting out of his car, to be greeted by Clay, who grinned as he shook the Chief's hand. Weird. Cate stored it into the back of her mind, and left Teller-Morrow Automotive completely.