AN: Minus the Totomaru incident, the past chapter has been well-received. It's quite the honor that so many of you thought so well of of the rage and sadness. I'm always worried that I overdo it, or it seems cliche, so to know that some go back to read them or even shed tears is a... comfort? And to you who were confused (rosaji), no, Totomaru hasn't been in the manga since the Phantom arc, but it's a common headcanon amongst the fandom that he had some sort of emotions of our own Juvia Lockser.

And, who knows, perhaps at some point, you will all receive a Toto/Juvia fic. Probably something short and dorky. I really like Totomaru, so you can probably count on it, to be honest. And to rest your minds, Totomaru will be back in the story at some point. However, he's dead. Completey 100% crushed into a bloody pulp and buried in the ocean dead. His death serves a big purpose in the story, however. He becomes Juvia's weakness and strength.

FAIRY TAIL GUILD HALL

Gray twiddled his thumbs, resting his elbows on his knees. He licked his lips. There was a bad taste in his mouth. His head hurt. He hadn't gotten any sleep.

"Gray, you alright?" Warren sat down across from him, eyebrows quirked in worry. "You've been like this for almost two days now!"

"When does Juvia get back?" Gray muttered, tapping his forehead on his clasped hands.

"Tomorrow. Later today is when her train comes to get her," Lisanna said, bringing him a mug of coffee. The young woman twisted her lips with concern. "Cana stayed in your apartment last night. She said you didn't sleep. Are you o-"

"Lisanna, leave him be." Evergreen had snapped her book shut and stood up from her usual table, turning to regard them with her cold and bored eyes. "I understand your concern, but it won't do-"

"So what, you don't care about Juvia?" Gray stood up, marching over to her. "Cana had that vision. Something's wrong."

Evergreen stood up, alarming the rest of the Raijinshuu at the table. She tilted her head up to glare at him, queenly as always. "Of course I care. I simply believe that your concern will do nothing, and that you are acting overly concerned, completely out of your normal character."

Gray grabbed her by the collar of her shirt, yanking her closer. Warren and Lisanna moved towards them. Freed and Bickslow stood up, fury written on their faces. Laxus and Elfman yelled in warning and made their way towards Gray.

But she patted his hands as he squeezed her shirt, eyes still betraying nothing to any of them. "I understand that you're tense. However, will hurting me solve the issue?"

Gray slowly set her back on her feet, hanging his head.

"I can't say that Juvia is fine with any certainty. But I believe that if-"

"When."

"-she gets back, you shouldn't let her know you worried this much." She stepped back as Gray let go of her collar, adjusting her clothing back into a stately order. Bickslow gripped her elbow, slowly pulling her away from Gray. "After all, it's not polite to lead a lady on."

Something in his heart tugged uncomfortably.

JUVIA AND GAJEEL'S ROOM

Juvia sat up in the bed a few hours later, still not having fallen asleep. Gajeel shifted and pulled the blankets over his head. Lily curled up on the chair in the corner. She looked at them, then at the clock. Twelve hours until they had to board the train.

She blinked and stood, looking back over her shoulder at Gajeel. Bandages were wrapped around his stomach and arm, around his legs. She barely sensed magic from him. He'd used so much in their fight, to drain the ice from around her and thaw her out. He'd gotten them both out of there bruised and battered, but completely alive. A blessing and a curse, just like Gajeel was all-in-all.

The rain woman was severely drained as well. The drawers to the dresser slid open smoothly, revealing a different assortment of dresses. Juvia slid on a sky-blue one that brushed her toes and put a white sweater over it. Nodding to a groggy Pantherlily, she put on a sunhat, grabbed a basket, and stepped out the door.

Food shopping time.

The mundane task seemed abnormal as she walked through the market. The little kids running around seemed out of the world, the scent of baking cake and fresh fruit nauseating her. With vacant eyes, Juvia looked at all the people bustling about her.

Totomaru was dead, a bloody pulp buried in the ground. Jose was after her and trying to start the apocalypse. So why were they acting like everything was alright? It wasn't. Nothing was normal anymore.

"How much for these?" she asked an old woman, picking up a bundle of exotic fruits.

"Fifteen hundred jewel for one, twenty-two hundred for two bundles." The old woman smiled, her face wrinkling.

Had things gone differently the other day, this old woman would be dead. Drowned. Buried in rubble. Perhaps boiled to death. And it would have been Juvia's fault. Everything would be her fault had fate shifted to be a different way.

"My dear, are you alright?" The wrinkles sagged. "You look quite ill."

"U-um." Juvia wiped a hand across her forehead, shutting out the images in her mind. "Y-yes, Juvia is fine. Could she buy two of these? And maybe this flat bread?"

The old woman gave it to her for half the price, such was her worry. Swallowing and rubbing her throat, Juvia walked briskly through the crowd, heading back for the resort. Toasted fruit and flat bread, she'd make that really fast to see if it made Gajeel and Lily feel any better.

Through the corner of her eyes, she saw a hulking man and an interesting head of green hair. Juvia turned swiftly, following Aria and Sol to the entrance of the beach town. They did not notice her until they were walking past the gates.

"Juvia," Aria said, sweeping aside his trench coat. He was not crying.

"Ah, mon petite," Sol shifted awkwardly.

"You're leaving." Juvia said this numbly. "Just going, like nothing happened. Like Toto isn't-" She bit her lip, letting blood drip down her chin.

"Of course we're grieving!" Sol said, waving his arms. "Totomaru was our dear, dear amie. Such a brave, honest man. Non, non, non, we are not forgetting him."

Juvia covered her mouth with her free hand, swallowing back vomit. Totomaru, a blood spatter and one intact arm somewhere far away on a ruined island, maybe in the ocean. Who really knew?

"Juvia." Aria knelt down in front of her, patting her arm quickly. "We're truly sorry for what we put you through, but our families-"

"Juvia understands."

"-we didn't know what Jose was planning. We just knew that it would keep our loved ones safe." Aria's eyes filled with tears. "But it led to Totomaru's death. I-it's so sad!"

For once, no one disagreed with him.

Juvia turned her back to them. "Juvia understands, but she does not forgive you. If she forgives you, that does not bring Toto back, does not stop Jose. It's just her lying."

They went almost without a word, but Sol turned and said, "Ah, the monsieur always said that you were his soul mate. He said it like a joke, but I believe he was serious. I just... believe that you should know exactly how he felt."

She has to choke on her sob to keep them from hearing it. Leaving her with such a statement… How utterly horrible.

JUVIA AND GAJEEL'S ROOM

"Juvia is back."

Gajeel shifted in the bed, signaling that he was awake and had indeed heard her. Lily looked up from reading a book (that was twice his size) and looked back down. The room radiated gloom and pain and gave off the iron scent of blood.

Juvia placed the basket on the table and took off her sunhat, setting it on the table. She tied an apron around her waist and began chopping the fresh fruit. Gajeel watched her, trying to sit up.

"Let me help."

"Gajeel-kun has helped enough."

Gajeel pursed his lips and scratched his arm, maneuvering his way around the iron studs with ease. He watched Juvia working quietly and stiffly. Normally Juvia was happy while cooking, smiling a little, a skip in her steps. There were no such things in her now. Her face was blank when she turned to grab something. Her feet dragged. Her eyes were dull and apathetic.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked. Hadn't Levy told him once that that was a nice thing to do? Ask if someone wanted to talk?

Juvia slammed her knife down, back straightening while she breathed deeply. She picked up the chopping knife again and went back to work. Fruit juice leaked over the counter due to her messy cutting. "No, thank you."

"I'll start packing," Gajeel said, getting up and wincing.

"Don't hurt yourself."

He left the room and she could hear him moving around in the one over, pulling drawers, shoving clothing into bags. There wasn't much packing to be done. After all, they'd spent the majority of their vacation fighting for their lives. Their puny, insignificant lives.

The knife passed through her watery finger. Juvia growled and reformed it, sliding the cut fruit onto the miniature grill the room had provided.

"Miss Juvia?" Pantherlily said.

"Yes, Lily?"

"Gajeel and I… When Jose comes back, Gajeel and I will absolutely protect you," he said formally. "It won't happen again."

She closed her eyes. Black-and-white hair, a big grin, tattooed face. He said he'd help her, protect her, too many times to count, always like some charming knight in shining armor. In the end, he had done that. Juvia had not been able to return the favor.

FAIRY TAIL GUILD HALL

"Hey, Juvia!" Cana rushed to them immediately, taking up her pale hands in her own dark ones. "I thought I had a premonition; what happened?"

She flinched back as Juvia's dull gaze wandered to hers. Her dark blue eyes were vacant and unfeeling, and only a small something flickered, as though realizing Cana was there only then.

"Cana-san…" Juvia mumbled, like there was cotton in her mouth.

Gajeel looked uncomfortable and stiff in the background, with his bandaged head and arms and everywhere else. He looked at Juvia, then looked at a concerned Levy, then at the ground.

"Juvia, what happened?" Cana shook Juvia. "I saw Jose!"

More people had gathered around them now, mostly the Tenrou group. Evergreen tried to block Lisanna from approaching the woman that seemed obviously traumatized (at least, it was obvious to Evergreen), but failed. Lisanna reached for Juvia, then halted and pulled back.

Juvia's teeth clenched. "Jose… That's right, there was Jose, wasn't there, Gajeel-kun?"

Gray pushed through the crowd, fully clothed, amazingly. He'd been much too anxious to strip. "Juvia! What in the world happened?"

The rain woman's body stiffened up. "Oh… S-sorry, Juvia seems to have let her mind wander." She looked down, looking confused. "Juvia… Juvia…"

Not receiving any answers from her, Gray and Cana looked to Gajeel, who shifted back, squeezing his fist.

"It's… a long story."

Makarov walked to the front of the crowd, parting the onlookers with ease with his powerful air. "If this has to do with Jose, Gajeel, you know I must hear it." He looked with pity at the mumbling Juvia. "I want only the Tenrou group to follow me into my office. Everyone else, please stay here."

MAKAROV'S OFFICE

"Why bring in only us? That's not very considerate of everyone else out there," Freed said, pressing against Evergreen.

Oddly enough, the stunning brunette, who normally did not seem to care about anything, wouldn't stop studying Juvia.

"I brought only you in here because you are all strong. You all know Juvia best. All of you… You can all be of comfort to her." Makarov stood on his chair behind the desk, watching all of them.

Lucy tried to offer Juvia, who was sitting in a chair in the middle of the room, a glass of water. Juvia merely shook her head, and Lucy pulled back, immensely worried. Nobody had seen Juvia look so dejected and just… just blank before. Gray and Gajeel flanked the chair, refusing to leave Juvia's side. Gajeel shot Gray a pointed look, but he didn't seem to care.

"Juvia." The rain woman looked up, still looking confused, at her master. "I'm sorry, but you need to tell me what happened. If this has to do with Jose-"

"I assumed Jose was dead," Laxus said bluntly. Evergreen swatted his chest, mouthing a "no," and he glared at her and continued. "I mean, you used Fairy Law on him, right?"

Makarov hummed and looked down, folding his arms. "Fairy Law doesn't necessarily kill unless that's the true desire of the user. I did not wish to kill Jose; that is not my way. I merely wished to incapacitate him for a long, long time." He looked up, right at Juvia. "And it's been a long, long time for him."

"I-it was all fine," Gajeel started, lifting a hand imploringly. "We never thought about Jose, or the Element Four."

His best friend put her clasped hands against her chest and keeled over in the chair. She made no sound, but everyone was still worried.

"Toto," she whispered too softly for anyone to hear.

"We weren't there for the attack," Bickslow said. "Baby, you gotta tell us about it. How dangerous are Jose and the Element Four?"

Erza considered the Raijinshuu and closed her eyes, thinking. "You three, or four, including Laxus, are considered our strongest team, behind mine. However, at the time of the attack, before our reputation spread, you were still considered the strongest. The Element Four, they are your equivalent. Four immensely strong mages, all collected under one Wizard Saint, that's what they were. While you were off doing who-knows-what, they ravaged our guild hall, hurt our members. Phantom was merciless, and we almost didn't make it."

Lucy whispered a barely audible, "sorry." Natsu stroked her arm briefly in comfort.

Evergreen closed her eyes. "They broke up, though, right? Why band back together?"

Mirajane put a finger to her lips, looking up at the ceiling. "Reunion, maybe?"

Gajeel snarled at her, "Don't joke about it!"

Mira jumped, surprised at his harsh tones. She'd merely been trying to lighten the air, the air that was thick with gloom and apprehension. Lisanna hugged her big sister, looking at her dear friend bent over in the chair.

"We were… just taking a walk on the beach after our first day. It was normal. The beach was empty, there wasn't anyone. We were talking, just talking, and they came out of nowhere." Gajeel narrowed his eyes, sighing. "Now that I think about it, Jose always did have that spell. Some sort of spell that allowed travel through shadows. They nearly choked me to death, and while Juvia was distracted, Tot- well, they got her and took her to some island."

Natsu shuddered. "Kinda sounds like what happened in the Tower of Heaven!"

"Wouldn't know.. Anyways, Lily and I tracked her to some island a ways off the coast. Once we were there, Juvia found us. She told us a"-Gajeel thought for the right thing to say. Should he mention the legend of Aquamarina and Tempest, of the Locksers?-"story. Juvia told us a story about why Jose might want her-"

"So, Jose captured her for some set goal?" Gray asked. His grip on the chair tightened.

"Shut up, Stripper! But yeah, that's what happened. We met… Totomaru-"

"Didn't like that dude much," Natsu muttered.

Juvia clenched her hands harder.

"Salamander! Ugh, doesn't anyone here know how to not interrupt? But Totomaru was always Juvia's close friend. He helped us get past Aria and Sol. Juvia fought Jose. I only came later." Gajeel blinked down at Juvia, then continued his tale. "I don't think we beat him. I think we only managed to wound him a bit, because of his letdown guard and old age. But Juvia… Juvia nearly sacrificed herself to get me out of there. I… managed to save us both. I'm still exhausted from it, though."

Cana looked angry, putting a foot forward firmly. "Juvia! What did I tell you about sacrificing yourself, all that time ago? I-"

"It wasn't like that!" Juvia shrieked, startling everyone in the room. Gray's hand almost went to her shoulder, but he thought better of it. "I… shouldn't be alive. Juvia absolutely should not have come out of that alive!" She shook her head and straightened up, covering her face with stiff and shaking hands. "It would have been for the best if Juvia hadn't made it… Then all of this wouldn't matter, and-"

"We don't want you to die!" Gray shouted.

No one spoke. Juvia merely shook and scratched slightly at her face.

"You're life is precious, Juvia. We don't want you to die. Why would it be best if you died!?" Gray was fuming.

Juvia removed her hands from her face, revealing to everyone a pain-filled and heavy expression. "This story… It may not leave the room. This is why Jose was after Juvia, and why he will come back. This is why Juvia is a menace to the world."

Everyone was silent as Juvia told the story she'd told Gajeel and Pantherlily, the story about Aquamarina and Tempest and her ancestor, Lily Lockser. That story about the water magic and the dragon that were passed down through the generations. That story that sent chills down everyone's spine.

"That's why your family is so proficient in water magic," Levy said. "It runs in your blood. It's part of your very essence and soul."

"At least, in the case of the women," Wendy chipped in. "Juvia-san said something about it running more strongly in her clan's women. Probably because the dragon is passed down into the first-born daughter of the first-born daughter?"

"Yes." Juvia rubbed the bridge of her nose. "That's right."

"So, you've got that… thing inside you?" Gray asked. He didn't sound disgusted, and Juvia was grateful for that.

"Yes. Juvia is the only girl of her generation, so the magic… it runs strongest in her, and she is the holder of Tempest."

"That's why Jose was after you. Why he still is," Freed observed. "If he can drag that monster out of you and manage to control it, he really can-"

"-bring about the apocalypse," Ever finished flatly.

"We won't let that happen," Makarov said, hopping down from the chair. He walked over to his child and put a hand on her knee. "Juvia, I'm sorry you had to go through that. All that horror, all that pain. It's such a burden."

Juvia didn't talk, but gave a barely noticeable nod.

Elfman squirmed. "If you don't mind my asking… Whatever happened to the Element Four? You only ever said that Jose escaped."

A dead body, blood streaming from its eyes and nose. Messy black hair. A limp arm the only thing intact after being crushed by a falling ice boulder, the rest of him a stain on the ground.

"I'm in love… I'm in love with you."

Juvia clapped her hands over her ears, mouthing words, like it could get block of the sound of her memories.

Gajeel looked at her in pity."Aria and Sol… They got away. They actually helped patch us up and get us back to the resort after they thought their families weren't in danger anymore. But Totomaru…"

"He-he-Oh, Toto…" Juvia whispered.

Natsu seemed to choke on thin air, remembering his earlier words. "Didn't like that dude much."

A grimace formed on Laxus's face. Mirajane clapped a hand over her mouth. Gray's eyes widened shock, staring at Juvia. She looked mortified, sickened, pained, angry. If the word had a negative connotation, she was feeling it.

Gajeel cleared his throat, blinking rapidly. "He, uh… He saved Juvia from a spell. Unfortunately, it killed him." He, like Juvia, remembered Totomaru's final words. He didn't expect Juvia to say anything about it. She probably didn't expect anyone to hear her when she said:

"He said he was in love with me."

Nobody spoke at all.

Gray cleared his throat. "Juvia…"

But Juvia was inconsolable, hypervenilating into her hands, tears rolling down her face. Gajeel rubbed her shoulder. Gray rubbed her other one. There wasn't any time to be tsundere or cold.

Juvia was in pain. Raw, unadulterated pain.

A man, one of her dearest friends of her life, whom believed she was his soul mate was dead, she and Gajeel had almost died, and there was a mad man after her, bent on using her power to start the apocalypse.

It was almost too much to bear.