A/N: To submit prompts visit my tumblr page demi-selenalove

Call

I look at the phone ringing in my hand, and recognize the number immediately. I scramble to reach my phone on the desk beside me, but I don't pick up. This is it, I think. This is it.

The call only lasted a few minutes but the tension I felt from before is still present. My hands are shaking as I bury my face into my hands. I must still be in shock mode, because this isn't how I'm supposed to feel. I'm not supposed to feel this empty.

I go through my contacts and click on 'Demi'. The phone rings a few times before she answers hesitantly.

"Hey, Sel…"

I cut to the chase "I got the call." Silence.

"And? What did she say?"

"Come home" I say. I don't want to have this conversation on the phone, and she knows this.

"Sel, I can't right now, you know I can't." I know she can't, but I really hoped she would put me first for once.

"I need you here right now." I shudder at my shaky voice and clear my throat.

"I know, babe, I know. But I'm halfway across the country, I can't right now." She sounds desperate, and I almost feel bad, until I remember our circumstances.

"When can you be here?" I ask.

She sighs. Bad news. "I can't leave for at least another week. I'm sorry."

It's my turn to sigh, but I don't say anything. I could feel the sobs rumbling up to my throat and I cover my mouth to silence myself. The last thing I want is for her to feel guilty right now, but this isn't something I can control.

"Sel, please don't cry. You know I want to be there for you right now, you know that. I just…I need to be here too. I'm trying to balance everything at once. Just, please don't hold this against me."

I really don't mean to, because I know how hard she's working. But sometimes it hurts when she's not here, especially at a time like this. I don't say anything again, because I'm afraid my voice is going to betray how hurt I really am, and I don't want to hurt her. I pull the phone away from my ear and hold it at arms lengths. I choke on my first few breaths and stick my head between my legs to keep myself from hyperventilating.

I can faintly hear my name coming through my phone but I ignore it and continuously mumble under my breath. In two three. Out two three. The last thing I need is to have a panic attack right now. The tears fall out of my clenched eyes regardless, but I manage to steady my breathing, enough to talk at least.

"Sorry," I whisper "I'll just see you when you get back." She tries to say something, but I hang up quickly. That's when I finally break down.

I let the guilt build up in my stomach, to the point where I start clawing at my arms, my stomach, my face, wherever, with my sharp nails. Anything to physically show what I'm feeling emotionally. The pain is gushing out of my body in the form of tears and mangled sobs. I kneel onto the carpeted floor and bang my closed fists against it, pressing my face into the carpet.

It's impossible to even think clearly and I don't even bother to stifle my sobs at this point. I think I could cry all night.

I manage to pick myself off the floor and walk towards our bedroom. Yeah, our bedroom, even though I'm basically the only one who is ever here to sleep in it.

I groan and flop onto my bed, this really isn't her fault, and it's not her fault she isn't here right now. I knew she would be away for a while, and we agreed that it would be best for her career right now. This isn't her fault, stop blaming her, no wonder she's never home with you.

I let my thoughts consume me and wrap myself in the covers before falling asleep.

I'm woken up by my alarm clock early in the morning and I remember all the things I had to do today, but I call and cancel. I roll over and cuddle into my covers more. I fall asleep before I have a chance to even think about the phone call I received the night before.

When I wake up I spend the day in bed watching old shows on tv. I'm barely even paying attention to whatever is playing in front of me and I still haven't eaten anything today. I turn to the window on my right and realize it's quite dark outside.

I groan as I get up to walk to the kitchen to grab something to eat. As I look through the fridge, my stomach grumbles in protest and I feel nauseous. I look down at my stomach, lift up my shirt, and place my left hand over it, rubbing lightly. I physically shake my head to dislodge the nasty thoughts attempting to claw their way back into the foreground.

I climb back up the stairs, and catch my breath at the top, astounded at how tired I am even though I spent all day in bed. I guess they were right when they said emotional distress is just as bad, and maybe worse than the physical.

A warm bath would be nice right now, I think, as I go into the bathroom and fill the tub with hot water. I drop in a lavender bath salt and wait for the bubbly water to rise. I sigh and feel somewhat content. I grab my phone and blast my 'calm' playlist, which mostly consists of Thomas Newman.

I undress quickly and slide into the bath. The water is noisily rushing into the tub and along with the music playing I can hardly hear the thoughts in my head.

I place my head against the edge of the tub and curse myself for not putting a towel there; my neck was going to be sore. After what I guess was half an hour, I lift my head and turn to reach for the towel rack. But my eyes trail to the door and I see Demi leaning against the frame. She smiles lightly at me and I sink into the water to cover my exposed body.

"Hey, don't cover up on my account." She winks and I melt, she would skip out on her obligations to come home to see me.

"You know, you're guna get a kink in your neck just leaning against the tub like that." She giggles. I look down and rub my neck a bit.

"Yeah, I realized after I got in." She smiles at me again and lets her coat slide to the bathroom floor. She rolls her sleeves up and gestures for me to lay back down. I do as she asks and she starts rubbing my neck and shoulders. I moan in satisfaction.

She's been home for five minutes and she's managed to calm me down already.

"I'm sorry I'm a little late," she whispers in my ear "This was the earliest flight I could take home." I moan as she hits a particularly painful spot on my shoulders and my head lolls back onto the tub again. She takes this as an opportunity to place a kiss on my forehead and I smile.

"I'm just glad you're here," I whisper as she brings her lips to mine.

"Yeah, me too."

She keeps massaging my shoulders and eventually moves down to caress my chest and then my stomach. Her hands halt there and she sighs.

"Are you okay?" I place my hands on top of hers and nod as she places her chin on my shoulder.

She quickly pecks my cheek and says," The water is getting cold. Come on, let's go to bed." She pulls me out of the bathtub and I step onto the carpet, slightly shivering. She pulls a towel off the hook for me and rubs my body to dry it. I look at her determined face, and I can see how hard she's trying not to break down. It literally breaks my heart when she looks up at my face and attempts a smile.

As hard as this is on me, I know it's just as hard on her. I know being away from me all the time hurts, and I know not being here to hear the news hurt her even more. I pull her into a tight hug but she pulls away from me, shaking her head.

"I'll, uh, see you in the bedroom." She stutters as she walks away and I can hear her sniffling through the door. Clearly this hit her as hard as it hit me, and I feel bad for thinking the bad things I thought of her before.

After getting dressed in my pajamas I walk back into our bedroom and see her huddled under the covers. I slip into bed next to her and try to pull the cover off her head but she holds on tight and I can feel her body shaking next to me.

I dive under the covers and look at her tear-stained face. I open my mouth to say something but she shakes her head. So I put my arms around her and hold her close to me. She continues to sob into my chest and I can feel tears prickling my eyes but I hold them back.

"I'm sorry," she stutters out "I'm supposed to be comforting you right now. I don't have the right to accept your comfort, you're the one…" I shush her and lean back to wipe the tears off her face. I place a chaste kiss against her trembling lips and I can feel the tears start to fall down my cheeks.

"Hey, look, we both have a right to be upset right now. Both of us have been trying for this for so long. This was our dream, together. You have every right to be as upset as I am right now." I try to comfort her, but the dread fills my stomach regardless.

"I'm still sorry. For everything. For not being here to support you, for not being here in general, for our loss. I just want you to know that I'm sorry." I nod into her shoulder and whisper it's okay, we'll get through this, we're stronger than this, and whatever combination of words it will take for us to get through this.

"We'll try again," she whispers against my lips and I nod. "We're going to make it stick this time, I promise." I nod again as I bury my nose into her neck. She let's me cry for a bit, and when my tears slow down and pulls me out again to kiss my forehead.

"This time next year, we'll have a little baby waking us up at ungodly hours with its crying okay? I know it, I just know it, and we are going to be the happiest we've ever been. I promise you okay? I promise." And strangely enough, having her next to me, and hearing her certainty is all it took to make me feel okay again.