Why? Numbly, Gajeel sat under the shade of the broad tree just outside the cottage. He stared at his lap numbly, unmoving, his legs sprawled out limply before him. Why does something have to get in the way now?

Inside, Natsu was with Pantherlilly and Happy, getting last minute medical advice from Porlyusica before they left for Magnolia Town again. The last thing they needed was for Natsu to relapse on the way back. Gajeel, however, had chosen to step outside to be left alone with his tumultuous thoughts.

"If you mate and your feelings for each other fail, Fairy Tail itself could fall."

Those dreadful words kept echoing in his head, tormenting him relentlessly. He had never even thought about mating with Natsu, not until the healer had brought it up that morning. Hell, he hadn't had any interest in…in having sex with anyone for a while still. Despite what most of the girls in the guild seemed to assume, he actually had no experience in that area and had no desire to change that fact for the time being. No, as long as the dragon slayer had two hands to take care of himself and could blow off extra steam with training, he was satisfied, even if the few men that knew taunted him for it.

Now, with Natsu, the possibility of a heated romance didn't seem so far off, except for one unavoidable issue: if things did escalate to that degree, there would be no turning back for him. Natsu could always walk away, of that there was no doubt. Porlyusica had made it very clear that if the fire mage had no feelings for him, it would be a struggle to keep him faithful. Yet, Gajeel himself would be unable find no way to break the bond that would be made, would never be able to find love, or if he ever did ran the risk of potentially killing the person he found it with the moment the two of them became intimate.

Damn, no wonder those bastards laugh at me, he thought to himself, running a hand through thick, black hair. I'm startin' to think like a woman.

He heaved a great, troubled sigh. Did he really feel that strongly about the dragon slayer? Yes, he did have feelings for him; he couldn't stand to lose Natsu, nor did he like the idea of him with anyone else, particularly bunny girl. But was it really love? All he knew was that it made his head ache horribly trying to sort everything out.

"Gajeel?"

He started, snapping his head around quickly at the sound of the deep voice. Pantherlilly strode up to him with a furrowed brow, his expression one of feebly hidden concern.

"Lilly," Gajeel said, his body relaxing at the sight of the familiar cat. "What're ya doin' out here? I thought you were inside talkin' to the witch."

With a shake of his head, the scarred exceed came to a halt beside the metal dragon slayer. "She is talking with Natsu-san and Happy about the medications she gave the boy for the next few days. She only asked that I be there so we could discuss methods of getting back to Magnolia."

The metal dragon slayer cocked an eyebrow curiously. "Ain't we just walkin' back? It ain't that far."

Pantherlilly shook his head. "Porlyusica-sama feels it could be too much strain for Natsu since he is still in the midst of recovery, same with any form of transportation such as a train or car as much stress as they put him under."

"So what are we s'posed to do, then?"

"She asked if Happy and I would be strong enough to fly the two of you to Magnolia Town ourselves."

"Eh?" Gajeel pierced the exceed with an incredulous look. "Why do I have to be babied, too?"

"This way if something happens to Natsu on the way back, God forbid, we have more help on hand," came the feline's unfaltering response.

Grunting, the mage turned away, placing his arm on his now bent knee to block his features from view. "I ain't no babysitter."

Rolling his eyes, Pantherlilly came and plopped down crossed legged beside Gajeel. "You can't fool me," he stated calmly, giving the mage a sideways glance. "I know you're just as worried about the boy as I am, perhaps even more so."

Gajeel only shrugged in response.

"You only act like this," the feline added, "because you aren't sure what to make of the situation, and you're afraid."

Suddenly, the mage spun around angrily, sputtering in disbelief, "I ain't scared, ya got it!"

Unfazed, Pantherlilly turned to stare unwaveringly into the dragon slayer's blazing red eyes. "Are you certain?"

"Er…" The raven haired mage opened his mouth, but could find no words to deny the exceed's accusation. Instead, he leaned against the hard bark of the tree, one palm pressed against his forehead. "Shut yer trap. It's giving me a headache."

With a sigh, the exceed realized this would be the closest he would get to an admission from the stubborn mage. Rather than press the issue, he wisely chose to stand and say, "We'll be leaving just as soon as Natsu and Happy—"

"Lilly! Are you ready?"

The two beneath the tree glanced up to see the blue exceed and pink haired dragon slayer standing at the doorway to the cottage, staring at them expectantly. For a brief moment, Natsu's eyes searched out Gajeel's almost desperately. They locked eyes, and the fire mage stared deeply into the metal dragon slayer's, vivid green into brilliant red, almost pleadingly.

Uncomfortable, Gajeel hid behind his arm again. The two had not spoken since that morning's quick conversation when the fire mage had been cradled in his arms. At the memory of how perfectly Natsu fit there, the pierced mage's heart beat painfully. Would they be able to do anything like that again?

Pantherlilly sensed the palpable tension between the two. He called out in reply, "We're coming now!" Turning back to the somber boy beside him, he said, "We're leaving now, Gajeel. Come."

~NGGNNGGNNGGNNGGN~

An hour later, the group was soaring over the road leading back to Magnolia Town and Fairy Tail, the wind at their backs, making incredible time. Happy carried Natsu who held the medicine and the reward tucked away in his pack, and Pantherlilly carried a much heavier Gajeel. Ever worried for his friend, Happy made sure to stay a bit behind the others, keeping Natsu away from the strained atmosphere. Porlyusica had warned that too much stress could bring the sickness back worse than before, a thought that sent shivers up his furry spine.

Though, Happy noticed his efforts didn't seem to be helping. The fire mage had not smiled since this morning. In fact, his head drooped low even now, cloaking his features in shadow. The exceed was beginning to worry.

"Natsu," he began tentatively.

"Yeah, Happy?"

The exceed hung back a bit to keep Gajeel and Lilly from hearing. "You haven't seemed like yourself since this morning, Natsu."

"Oh, really?"

"Aye." His ears flattened against his head hearing the apparent sadness in the mage's voice.

An uneasy silence hung heavy between the two. Nothing could be heard but the wind whipping past their ears, flinging Natsu's hair and Happy's fur this way and that. Happy tried to ignore the uneasiness thick in the air, easily swooping past low, fluffy clouds and small birds here and there, but it soon became nearly unbearable.

Finally, the dragon slayer spoke in a soft and sad voice. "I don't wanna hurt him."

The blue exceed peered down at the boy he held inquisitively. "Who?"

Slowly, Natsu tilted his head up so he could look his friend in the eye. Happy held back a gasp as he took in the complete and utter sorrow in the mage's eyes. Disappointment, despair, confusion—all lay there within those green pools as he gave an answer.

"Gajeel," he whispered. "I…I can't hurt Gajeel. What she said—what Porlyusica said…" His breath caught in his throat at the memory of her words.

"…just a single chance to find their perfect mate…"

"They are driven mad…"

"…the guild might have things to say about the two of you as a pair."

"Happy…if I did that to him, I'd never forgive myself."

"Natsu…" Never had such an overwhelming sadness emanated from the proud dragon slayer before, not even during his defeat by Gildarts on Tenrou Island. It broke Happy's heart to see this. "I don't understand what's wrong. When Gajeel and Lilly partnered with us before you kept talking about how much you couldn't forgive him."

Again, Natsu dipped his head down but not before the blue exceed caught a glimpse of the guilt hiding in his eyes. "Yeah, I guess I did say that, huh?" He shook his head wearily. "I didn't mean it. I…I lied, to you and to myself. The truth is I've had my eyes on Gajeel since not long after he became a Fairy Tail wizard. He was always so strong and unafraid, protective of the people he cared about, and he wasn't so damned annoying like Droopy Eyed-Gray." He chuckled at his own little joke, but it was only half-hearted. "I lied to myself because, after the horrible things I'd already said to him during Phantom Lord's raid, I figured he'd never want anything to do with me.

"Then, I got sick. I heard Porlyusica say I might die, and I got scared. I didn't wanna die without telling him how I really felt about him, but I didn't wanna die with him hating me for those feelings either. I knew I couldn't tell him how I felt, so…I did the next best thing and finally gave him a real welcome into our guild, into our family. I never expected him to save me."

Happy listened diligently, a small smile warming his face more and more with every word. "You really do care about him, don't you, Natsu?" he whispered.

"Of course I do," the mage replied. He peered back at Happy, piercing him with a broad grin, but as soon as it came, the smile went to be replaced by a defeated expression. "That's why I can't be with him."

"What?" Happy shouted, nearly dropping the mage in his shock.

"Shut up!" Natsu hissed through gritted teeth. "I don't want them hearing this!"

"Sorry." The exceed quickly readjusted his grip and lowered his voice as he said, "But if you care about him, why can't you be with him? I thought it would be okay if both of you liked each other."

"And I like him," the fire mage replied. "But I won't be the one to hurt him if he ends up not feeling the same."

"But I thought he—"

"You heard Porlyusica," Natsu interrupted, his voice somber and hushed. "The guild'll say something about the two of us, and if they do that, there's no way Gajeel is gonna wanna stay with me. It's…it's better this way."

Out of the blue, Pantherlilly called back to the soaring duo. "I see the town just up ahead. Be ready to land, Happy."

"Aye, sir!" Said feline turned back to Natsu for a moment, ignoring the sight of Magnolia Town rapidly unfolding beneath them. "I don't understand. How is this better than you and him being together? Isn't that what you just said you wanted? I thought you cared about him…I'm confused."

"I do care about him," the dragon slayer said. Blinking back tears from the wind whipping in his face and the sheer emotion weighing down his heart, he took in the sight of Magnolia Town, scanning the ground until what he searched for came into view: Fairy Tail, beat up from their seven-year absence, but still there. "That's why I would rather miss this chance to make myself happy than make his entire life miserable when he realizes I'm not the one he wants."

Finally as he begun to descend towards the guild, Happy understood, though he wished he didn't. "Natsu…" he murmured, his heart in his throat. "Please, I want to see you happy."

"To see a smile of true happiness on my nakama's face one day—on his face one day…" Simply thinking of such a wonderful thing gave the fire dragon slayer the strength to smile, if only a little. "I'd walk through hell and back to see that just once."

~NGGNNGGNNGGNNGGN~

"Pipe down! I know things were going according to plan." The old healer rubbed a throbbing vein bulging on her temple. She stood outside her cottage tending to a year-old doe with a twisted ankle.

But the tiny blue bird continued twittering angrily, flapping hard and fast enough to make the loose pink strands of Porlyusica's hair to flutter about her face. How could she tell those two something like that? The two boys had just come to grips with the idea of being with each other, and she scared them away from everything again!

"I know!" the healer snapped as loudly as she dared with the timid doe lying there. Not bothering to turn, she testily added, "But things escalated too quickly."

Again, the bird twittered, this time flying directly in her face. Too quickly? It was going perfectly!

Attempting to calm the now startled creature she was helping, the healer patted the deer on the haunch, cooing comforting words to her. To the bird, she gave a withering scowl and said, "Yes, too quickly! If those boys rush into things, there is no telling what might happen. The entire guild is fragile enough as it is. What they need is stability from all of their members, not tension between two of their strongest fighters."

Stubbornly, the little blue bird that had watched over the boys so eagerly squawked in her face before landing beside the calming doe's back hooves. He hopped up and down on the ground impatiently, demanding to know what all his hard work could possibly amount to now.

"Patience," the healer scolded, returning to the doe's injured leg. "Nobody said that your work would be wasted." At that, she smiled to herself hopefully. "They'll figure out what is supposed to be soon enough, and I fully believe you will be satisfied with the results."

Hello again! I know I usually don't update so quickly, but an inexplicable writing mood hit me this weekend. =^.^= Also, I was afraid that some readers might go to jail for attempted (or successful) murder if I didn't update soon…as for those who have asked me if they will be together or if they love each other, have I steered you wrong so far? Maybe they will, maybe they won't. You'll just have to wait and see what my mind has tucked away in the vault. Those of you that have been dying for lemony goodness, bear with me for just a few more chapters. It'll get there. Anyways, read, review, enjoy! =^.^=