Disclaimer and story notes in first part of this story

Additional author notes: Okay, so I lied… this ended up being much longer than I figured, more like "hours of Faith and Buffy" rather than a "moment" with Faith and Buffy… so this will be posted in four parts, not three.

Story 8: Season's Greetings pt 3

Faith was almost sorry when the others started to leave. As much as she would have preferred the entire evening to have been Giles-and-Scooby-less, for the whole time to have been just her and Buffy and Mrs. Summers, she had actually enjoyed being around them, actually enjoyed herself nearly the entire time. Even Queen Cordelia hadn't been up to quite the bitch level she was usually at…

Besides the fact that she had had fun with them, Faith dreaded the others' departure, because she knew that she would have to go too. She would have to go back to her motel room sooner rather than later, back to her sinking mattress and the lukewarm shower, the badly painted walls and the annoying toilet with the loose handle, and the stupid cheap TV that didn't even friggin' work… she was going to have to spend the rest of the night, the whole next Christmas day, alone, with not even the option of taking some guy back with her for company. What kind of guy would be out on Christmas Eve or Christmas day and ready to jump in bed with a stranger?

Faith's mouth tipped sardonically; the answer was pretty obvious. Any guy who was in a bar. So she had that option if it came down to it. But she wasn't so sure that she wanted that after all this… to lug back all the gifts she'd been given and to have them sitting right there, stark reminders, as she fucked some drunk loser from the bar… it depressed and angered her even to think about it.

She found herself dawdling, hanging back, apart from everyone, as they left. In a way she was subconsciously trying to escape their notice, as if by being quiet and keeping apart from them they might forget that she was there. Right… like the Summers women wouldn't notice if she started sleeping on their couch or something.

Faith didn't really know what she was thinking that her hanging around a few extra minutes mattered; she knew she really ought to just go on, just make herself leave 

before it was obvious to everyone else how unwilling she was to go back to her "home". And yet she continued to do so…

Too soon even Xander and Willow were leaving, neither who seemed too eager to return home themselves, to their families. From what Faith had gathered, neither exactly had Mike and Carol Brady for parents. Even knowing this, she couldn't help but feel a sharp swelling of envy in her chest… for they at least would not be alone.

And then Xander and Willow were gone too, and Faith was the last one left… her stomach knotted, and she found herself tensing, knowing what was coming. She had to leave… but dammit, she didn't want to go.

"Well… guess I'll head out too," she muttered to Joyce, who she had been standing across the room from in the kitchen. She turned with jerky, forced movements to walk into the living room, starting to make herself leave as quickly and inconspicuously as possible. "Thanks for having me over and everything…"

Faith started to pick up her gifts as hurriedly as she could, but both Joyce and Buffy were looking at her now, seeming surprised, even dismayed.

"Faith, honey, why don't you stay with us tonight?" Joyce asked her, her tone of voice showing her concern. "We'd love to have you."

Faith paused in her movements, her expression freezing briefly as she digested Joyce's words. She'd just asked her to stay… Mrs. Summers had just put voice to what Faith had been wishing for fervently for the past two hours. She'd asked her to spend the night… for at least tonight, and a good bit of tomorrow- for the entire Christmas holiday. Faith would not only not have to be alone in that motel room… she would be with Buffy.

Her first impulse was to jump at the chance, to quickly agree before Joyce changed her mind or Buffy spoke up to protest. But after those first few eager, incredulous moments, the cool, pessimistically realistic thoughts kicked in, and Faith knew she couldn't say yes. For one thing, there was her pride. She didn't want to make 

herself any more of a charity case then she'd already been today. It was bad enough that Faith had already accepted their gifts for her, considering the terrible ones she'd given them in return. No way could she make herself look even more pitiful by staying with them like a foster kid or street orphan or something.

She didn't want to put them out or make them feel obligated or guilted into anything. Besides, she had seen the pile of presents under the tree… the huge majority no doubt bearing Buffy's name. It would be way awkward for all of them tomorrow morning… for Faith to be there, the entirely gift-less outsider, just watching like a kid outside a candy store window or something. Nope, no way was she signing up for that.

And besides- and this, ultimately, was what cinched it for her- it hadn't been Buffy who asked her to stay, but rather her mother. Her mother… Buffy wouldn't say it out loud, Faith knew, but she probably wanted her to leave so she could start in on whatever normal-family, normal-daughter Christmas traditions she might do. There was no way Buffy would want her to stay… and so there was no way Faith could.

Faith shook her head quickly, faking a casual smile. "Nah, that's okay, Mrs. S, I think I'll just go home… merry Christmas and all."

"Well, at least let me drive you," Joyce persisted, still regarding Faith with a motherly concern that made Faith's stomach twist even more painfully; Faith couldn't meet her eyes. "You have all your gifts to carry, and I hate to think of you walking back alone when it's so late-"

"No, no, it's okay, Mrs. S, I'm good," Faith cut her off quickly, almost panicking when she heard her voice falter slightly. What the hell was wrong with her?! She covered hurriedly, making her voice more assertive, assured. "I'm one of the slayers, remember? It's five by five."

"Well, if you're sure, Faith- but we'd be glad to have you stay with us, honey. Wouldn't we, Buffy?" Joyce asked, turning towards her daughter, who had rejoined them a few minutes ago. Buffy nodded, echoing her mother's words.

"Yeah, of course. Of course we want you to stay, Faith."

Faith hesitated, her former resolve wavering… for it was a whole different matter, now that Buffy had asked her.

But then, of course she had she'd had no choice, the way her mom had put her on the spot like that. Buffy was just being polite… it wasn't that she actually wanted Faith to stay. So of course, there was no way she could say yes.

"Nah, thanks and all, but I gotta get goin'," Faith said quickly.

She turned towards the door abruptly, knowing that the Summers women were watching her, and feeling her throat constrict once again with bitterness and suppressed depression. She didn't even want to imagine what they must be thinking about her.

"Okay, well, are you sure you won't at least let me drive you?" Joyce asked doubtfully, and Faith glanced back at first her, then Buffy quickly, throwing off another insincere smile.

"Nah, like I said, I'm five by five, Mrs. S."

"At least let me get you a bag to carry your gifts in-"

"No, look, I'm fine, Mrs. S!" Faith cut her off, her tone louder and more aggressive than she had intended. Wanting to hit herself, feeling her neck burn, she couldn't bring herself to meet either Summers woman's eyes. No doubt they were hurt, confused…



"Well, if you're sure, Faith…" Joyce said slowly, giving Faith a clearly uncomfortable smile, "then have a good night. Merry Christmas, sweetie. And if you feel like coming by tomorrow, you're more than welcome to."

She came towards her, giving Faith a hug, then a kiss on the cheek, in such a warm and motherly fashion that Faith almost choked. She swallowed several times, needing to clear her throat but afraid to do so where they would hear. Even as she felt a frantic urge to push Joyce away from her, she simultaneously wanted to stay in her embrace for just a moments longer; anything to prolong her stay, to prolong the feeling of belonging she'd had for this evening.

She could feel Buffy watching as she finally extracted herself a bit suddenly from Joyce; the other Slayer's eyes were narrowed, her expression unreadable to Faith. What was she thinking? But it didn't matter- none of it mattered. Faith was leaving, so it didn't matter either way.

Faith threw a quick, insincere smile in Buffy's direction as she opened the door.

"Night, B. Guess I'll see you December 26 or something, unless you're busy or-"

"Faith, wait a minute," Buffy interrupted, her voice quiet but firm. "Can I talk to you a minute?"

Faith's brow furrowed slightly as she looked back at Buffy, wary, confused. What was this all about? Something demon-related? But then why hadn't she mentioned it during the party? Why hadn't anyone else? Maybe Buffy was mad at her- maybe she thought she was being rude to Joyce. Maybe…

Faith didn't know. She met Buffy's eyes quickly, giving her another meant-to-be-casual smile.

"Yeah, sure, B, whatever."

"Let's go outside, okay?" Buffy pressed, her eyes flickering in her mother's direction with clear implications. Obviously this was supposed to be a private talk. Seeming to get the message, Joyce backed off into the kitchen.

Still puzzled, Faith shrugged. "Yeah, whatever, B." She started to go through the door, but Buffy stopped her with a hand on her arm.

"Set your things down for a little while, Faith. Just come talk with me, okay?"

Now thoroughly lost, Faith looked at the blonde with a little frown. Why did she need to leave her stuff? Just how long was this 'talk' going to be for? She needed to leave… the longer she dragged it out, the longer she was with Buffy, the harder it would be for her to go.

"Okay…" she muttered. She set her things by the door, following Buffy out on the porch. To her surprise and slight unease, Buffy had not released her hold on her arm. Not exactly hating that, and yet wondering at it, a little discomfited, Faith glanced from Buffy's hand on her arm to her face, still frowning.

"So, what's this all about, B?" she said, trying to sound unconcerned.

To be continued