Leopard Shits in Snow (author 2)

'I AM HELLFIRAH! I AM REBOOORRNN! HEAR MA VOICE. HEAR MA HOLY NAMMEE-AH!' Quinn roared to his new congregation. The roared back in unison and delight. Quinn was back. He had centre stage once more.

'BROTHERS! And sisters... NOW IS OUR TIME. NOW IS OUR TIME TO CLAIM WHAT IS OURS!'

'YEEEEEASSHH!' the crowd cheered.

'I AM THE NEW MESSIAH! YOUR NEW GOD!'

'Yes... huh?'

'TOGETHER WE SHALL WALK FROM THE DARKNESS INTO LIGHT!'

'Ya a... eh? Ghjjdhj... hhvv... why?' the crowd of vampires mumbled in confusion.

Chad and Brad, two dhampires, stood at the back of the ruined church.

'Who dafuq is that idiot?' Chad whispered.

'Seagul's latest lover,' Brad relied sarcastically.

'Lolz!'

'He was turned recently So, he's still adjusting.'

'Dafuq is up with him and light?'

'dude… you're an idiot!'

'what? Vamps don't like too much sun!'

'have you been like paying zero attention to what's been happening?'

'No… well. I mean. Seagul and the Master hanging out is weird. I don't get it. They hate each other!'

'Bro… seriously. Think it through… who else has the Master become pals with lately?'

' Eh?'

'THE FUCKING BON. .. sorry. The Bonaccon guys.'

'So?'

'Dude. Seriously. Good thing you're cute!'

'Fuck You!'

'LOLZ. But ya… the Bonaccon guys make soap and skin care stuff. Seagul has used his alliance with the Master to order a consignment of factor 50 plus sun cream.'

'Ohhhhhhg…. Now I get it…'

'WORSHIP ME! We Will Worship THE SUUUUUNNN!' Quinn roared.

'Alright. Alright. That's enough talk for NOW!' Seagul interrupted as Quinn was losing the crowd,' I'll take it from here.' The crowd cheered to see their true leader shut up the lunatic Quinn and listened attentively to what he was saying. Soon they all knew and understood the sun cream plan.

…

'Shit!' Bajie stared at Henry, 'Oh fuck me! Shit! This can't be happening. Shiiiiit!' Bajie picked up the screaming baby, unsure how to comfort him. Bajie was consumed by dread. Things just got a hell of a lot more complicated.

Sunny pulled the caravan door open. He stepped inside and dropped his bag of supplies on the counter, just in time to notice Bajie's breakdown.

'AAHJHH SHHHIIITTT!'

'What's wrong?' Sunny asked.

'Why dafuq didn't you tell ME?'

'Tell you what? Is Henry okay?' Sunny went to grab Henry from Bajie. Bajie stepped back, shielding the child.

'No! You can't hold him yet. Fuck ME!'

'BAJIE!' Sunny became impatient, 'What the fuck is wrong?'

'We're already up to our arse in shit, now this has gone and fucked up rightly!'

'What …. the fuck…. happened?'

'Is it you? Or was it Veil?'

'Was it us what?'

'Don't fuck with me Sunny! You damn well know!'

'No I don't! All you keep saying is fuck and shit! I asked you to stop swearing in front of Henry!'

'The darkness! The fucking DARKNESS!'

'huh?'

'It's hereditary, asshole!'

'Why? What? I don't understand!'

'Well…' Bajie held Henry out for Sunny to see. Henry's eyes were black, just like the abbots, like m.k. Sunny grabbed the crying child. Henry instantly settled. His eyes turned white, then sleep took over.

'I… I don't understand…' Sunny was confused and terrified.

'SO! I ask again. You or Veil?'

' neither… I mean. The hell!? Veil never , I never…'

'What about your parents?'

'Quinn killed Veil's family. He never mentioned any darkness. They didn't put up a fight.'

'and your family?'

'I don't know.'

'Dafuq you mean?' Bajie grabbed Sunny by the arm.

'I don't know anything about them. The first 7 or 8 years of my life are a blank. I think I had a brother… I remember a dead boy, the Azra compass and chain…'

'BROTHER? WAS IT A TWIN? OH FUCK. FUCK A DUCK! SHHHHIIITT!'

'Can you help Henry? Stop swearing!'

'DUCKING chosen ducking one! Duck me right up the canal… we need to find Pilgrim and fast.'

….

Chau licked her fur coat. She had killed a dozen of Widow's clippers and left a nice pile of shit on her front door. A large snow leopard had been terrorising the lands lately. Several of Widow's clippers and cogs had fallen victim to it. Efforts to catch and kill the creature had failed. The snow trickled down softly in the night's breeze. Chau purred in delight, lapping up the last of clipper blood on her paw. She turned to go home. They would never know that it was her.