THIS CHAPTER IS ALSO NSFW BECAUSE I HAVE NO CHILL.

Thank you for reading; I hope you enjoy it! I'm always open to feedback if you have any!

Chi-Chi was knitting. It was something Yamcha had always known she could do, but it was kind of weird to see her actually doing it. According to Goku, who had dropped by the farm a few days ago to say hi, she'd been knitting nonstop since she found out Videl was pregnant. "Apparently, grandmas are supposed to knit," he explained. "I asked her if grandpas are supposed to do anything and all she said was 'focus on what fathers are supposed to do first.' I think she's still mad about those seven years."

Whatever Chi-Chi was knitting, it was white and fluffy. And enormous. She chatted amiably with Yamcha and Bulma while she knitted, pausing every now and then for a sip of tea. "So what exactly is that?" Yamcha asked her.

She held it up. "It's a baby blanket. Or it will be. I'm keeping the blanket plain, but I've also made some clothes and booties and hats with the family name on them. Goku wants me to make the baby a hat with the four-star Dragon Ball on it, but we'll see."

Bulma shook her head. "You're going to be busier as a grandmother than you ever were as a mother."

"Yes, but the difference is when the baby starts screaming I get to hand it to Gohan and walk away." She looked at Bulma. "By the way, dear, did you see the headline in the Gazette this morning?"

Bulma scoffed. "God, it's like these so-called journalists have nothing to do besides make up stories to make Capsule Corp look bad."

"Oh, I know," Chi-Chi sighed. Her knitting needles never stopped as she talked; she wasn't even looking at what her hands were doing. It was a bit unnerving. "It's almost as if they go out of their way to do it now."

"Sorry, I missed something here," Yamcha said. "What happened?" When Bulma gave him a confused look, he added "We don't get the Gazette out on the farm. And I can't say I miss it; I was thinking of cancelling my subscription anyway. That paper was a waste of trees."

Bulma's eyes glittered and Yamcha realized he'd slipped up. "We?" she asked. Her voice had that false sweetness to it that it got when she was about to pry into someone else's private business. "What's this 'we' I hear?"

Yamcha held up his hands, caught. "Oh, no. You dish first."

Bulma tapped a finger on the table and squinted at him, probably trying to decide if he was deliberately hiding something from her. He tried to look as innocent as possible. Apparently it worked, because she stopped tapping and squinting and folded her arms with a sigh. "So because the Gazette can't actually get any dirt on how Dad and I run the company, they've decided to have a go at our personal lives." Yamcha grimaced. The Briefs family was no stranger to ridiculous shit-in fact they seemed to be just as big a magnet for it as the Son family. But said shit was easy to twist into claims of illegal weapons testing, child labour, and on one memorable occasion rampant drug use. "According to this morning's article, my 'live-in boyfriend' and I are 'on the rocks.'" She snorted and poured herself more tea. "First of all, just because Vegeta and I had a paparazzi-free wedding is no excuse for forgetting I'm married."

"To be fair, it's not hard to forget about a guy who holes himself up in his training room until he's about to pass out from hunger on a regular basis." Yamcha sipped his tea. Bulma had brought out the good stuff for this particular get-together.

Chi-Chi's laugh was quiet and Bulma's glare was deadly. "Like I was saying," she continued, "they're only calling him my live-in boyfriend because they're trying to make me look bad to all the pearl-clutchers who read their garbage." She clutched at an imaginary strand of pearls around her neck. "Oh my stars!" she wailed. "A woman? Living with a man? And they're not married? What is this world coming to my delicate constitution can't take it!"

"Isn't this the same paper that put you on its list of Most Desirable Bachelorettes last year?" Yamcha asked.

Bulma winked. "Still got it. But yeah, they always seem to conveniently forget I'm married." She leaned back in her chair and shouted into the hallway. "It doesn't help that my husband won't even go to his wife's birthday party if there's not going to be a fight, let alone any of her official Capsule Corp functions!"

"Are you still on about that?!" Vegeta snapped, stomping into the kitchen. He'd clearly just gotten back from training-he was in a tank top with a towel around his neck and he smelled like a high school gym class. "I came to your damn party eventually, didn't I?"

Bulma wrinkled her nose as her husband passed her. "Only because you were trying to get Beerus to leave." She slapped his hand when he reached over her to grab a danish off the plate on the table. He actually recoiled, and not for the first time Yamcha wondered what kind of hell they'd avoided by Bulma never taking an interest in martial arts. "Oh, no, big boy," she said. "Shower first."

He scowled. "I'm hungry."

"Shower first," she repeated, "then you can have whatever's left on the plate."

There was a brief staredown, but eventually Vegeta huffed and relented, rubbing a hand through his wife's hair on his way out. "Ass!" she yelled after him, fixing her hair.

Yamcha and Chi-Chi had both watched the whole exchange with amused expressions. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," Bulma said. "Honestly, things've been pretty good since the whole Beerus thing. Vegeta actually, like, spends time outside the gravity room." She leaned forward conspiratorially. "Don't tell anyone, but he's talked about having another kid, too."

Chi-Chi's eyebrows shot up and Yamcha choked on his tea. "Really?" Chi-Chi said. "Are you sure that's-"

"Look, I know I'm not getting any younger," Bulma snapped, "but if we're going to have any more, we'd better do it soon. Anyway, like I said, things've been great in between bouts of disappearing to train." Chi-Chi nodded understandingly and Yamcha squirmed guiltily. He used to do that all the time too...but now that he was going out with Tien, neither of them would have to disappear to train. They could train together.

Bulma leaned back, eyeing Yamcha. "Alright, skippy," she said, "so about this 'we' thing you mentioned."

Yamcha groaned. It had just slipped out. "Fine. I've started living with Tien. Happy?"

Apparently Bulma was, because she absolutely beamed at him. "When? Where do you sleep? Where does Puar sleep? Details!"

He held up his hands. "Last week, none of your business, and where she's always slept-with me."

"He definitely sleeps in Tien's room," Chi-Chi declared. Yamcha flushed. "You can see it in his face."

Bulma slugged him in the arm. "Why didn't you tell me, you jerk? I wondered why I could never reach you at home!"

Yamcha shrugged. "It was kind of sudden, honestly." Thinking back on it, though, it wasn't really. Yamcha had already been spending so much time at Tien's over the last four months that he practically lived there already. When Puar had joked that they should just move in with Tien and Chiaotzu, the look Tien had given him...part dumbstruck disbelief, like he was surprised neither of them had thought of it earlier, part nervous anticipation, part raw hope. And Yamcha had to admit, at the time it was hard to see any downside. In fact, a week had already gone by and he still couldn't find any downside. Their lives had already been fitting together for so long that it just seemed like a natural progression.

"But what about your business?" Chi-Chi asked. "Your freelance bodyguard one? How's that going to work if you live outside the city? Even at Nimbus's top speed it takes me an hour to get into town from Mt. Paozu."

He tapped his finger nervously against the side of his teacup. "I, uh, might be quitting that."

"What?!" Bulma squawked. "You can't quit that! It's your business!"

"Oh, please, it's been going downhill since it started. We hardly get any clients, the only employees we can afford are just me and Puar, and I still had to rely on working at Tien's to pay for anything that wasn't food and groceries." He sighed. "Yes, I'm upset because yet another thing that I invested a lot of time and energy into is falling apart. But it's not the end of the world." He grinned. "I should know; it's happened like...twice now?"

Chi-Chi glared at him. "We don't joke about that. I got turned into an egg. An egg, Yamcha."

Those knitting needles looked decidedly sharp. Yamcha decided to drop it. "Anyway, it's fine. As it turns out, Tien is terrible at the business of running a farm, and Chiaotzu isn't much better, so Puar and I are going to take care of that. Besides, I'm going to be living on a farm. It's not like there won't be anything to do." Chi-Chi snorted in agreement.

Bulma had leaned her chin on her hand and watched him talk. She smirked. "You're totally sticking this out for the long run, aren't you?"

Yamcha blushed. "What do you mean?"

"You guys've been going out for what...three months?"

"Four."

"Four months, and you're living together and running a farm together and probably picking out curtains and shit together. If you were anyone else, I'd say you were moving too fast." Her smile turned gentle. "But it's you and Tien. I think a little fast is good for you guys-gotta make up for lost time and all. Kami, it's only a matter of time before you-" She broke off abruptly and ran a hand through her hair, still messy from Vegeta's tampering. "Well. I guess maybe it's still a little soon for that."

Yamcha had an idea of what she meant-something he'd wanted for as long as he could remember, something that at one time he thought he wanted with her-and agreed: best friends since forever or no, marriage was still a distant dream. He could see it happening, though, much more easily than he ever could with Bulma. The vision had been there, but it was never quite right, there was always something off about it, but with Tien...

"Here," Bulma said, interrupting his thoughts as she pushed the plate of danishes towards him and Chi-Chi. "Help me eat all of these before Vegeta gets back."

"I wanna try something," Yamcha panted.

Tien looked up at him from where he was lying flat on his back on the bed-their bed, that was still so strange and new and wonderful-and drank him in. Holding himself over Tien, naked, hair spilling over his bare shoulders, chest heaving, out of breath because Tien had stolen it, and honestly that was the thing that Tien was still having the hardest time believing, that Yamcha was with him and this was all real. He reached out and brushed some of Yamcha's hair back and nodded, giving his silent consent.

They hadn't had sex a lot since they'd started, and Tien knew that was mostly because of him-sex was something he'd never really needed, and for the most part as far as he was concerned beds were for sleeping, not sleeping. Yamcha had never complained, for which he was grateful. He knew there were people that had sex every night (Bulma and Vegeta did, he unfortunately knew, and he wouldn't be surprised if Krillin and 18 had before they had a baby to keep them up instead), but he'd never wanted to be one of them. What they had done so far, though, he'd always enjoyed, and he trusted Yamcha to know what would feel good for both of them.

Yamcha smiled, almost wickedly, and Tien swallowed as Yamcha leaned down to leave a trail of kisses from Tien's jaw to his neck, neck to collarbone, collarbone to chest. He moved back the farther down Tien's body he went, sliding a hand to caress Tien's inner thigh as well. Tien's eyes fluttered closed and he sighed contentedly. If this was what Yamcha had had in mind, it was nice.

Yamcha's trail stopped when he reached Tien's hips, both hands on Tien's thighs, sitting between Tien's legs. Tien sat up a little to see what Yamcha was doing and watched his tongue dart out to lick his lips nervously. "I've never done this before," he warned. "I mean, I've had it done to me, but I've never done one and...look, if I do something wrong or you don't like it, tell me and I'll stop, okay?"

Tien blinked and nodded again. He had no idea what Yamcha was doing, but he was sure it was fine.

And then Yamcha ducked his head and sucked the tip of Tien's dick into his mouth and Tien's eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed back onto the bed.

Immediately Yamcha pulled off and Tien whined and if he'd been more himself he would've been embarrassed because he was an ex-assassin for Kami's sake he didn't whine. "Not good?" Yamcha asked, worried.

"Yamcha," Tien said, and it came out sounding very choked, "whatever that was, do it again."

Yamcha grinned. "Well. If you insist." And his mouth was back on Tien and Tien clutched the bedsheets and fought to keep his hips still. Yamcha's head bobbed, one hand on Tien's hips to keep them from moving too much, the other wandering across Tien's thigh again. Tien couldn't form coherent thoughts; everything was a cloud of pleasure and there was no way this was lasting very long. He clenched his jaw and hissed when Yamcha pulled off again. "Let me know if you're getting close," he said, working his jaw a bit before diving right back in and oh what did he just do with his tongue because it needed to happen again.

He was already getting close. "Yamcha," he gasped, and after that first one he couldn't stop talking, "Yamcha please I'm so close I'm almost there please Yamcha please..." Tien interrupted his own ramblings with a noise that sounded an awful lot like a boiling tea kettle because Yamcha had pulled off again with a slick pop sound and replaced his mouth with his hand, pumping Tien hard and kissing his thighs and

By the time Tien could think properly again, Yamcha had gotten a few tissues and was cleaning them both up. He reached out to help, but Yamcha pushed his hand away. "You still haven't-" Tien started to say, but Yamcha just grinned wolfishly and winked.

"Trust me, sometimes just watching you is enough." He tossed the tissues in the trash and snuggled up to Tien like he hadn't just said something incredibly provocative. "Roll over, big guy, it's my turn to be big spoon."