A/N: Our next chapter comes from Serenitychan13. She requested and I quote, "Thank you SO MUCH for not giving Reno lice. Borrowing a line from Elena - if you give Reno crabs, I will gut you. Reno either needs a stomach virus, a migraine (Excedrin will mess you up and you KNOW Reno would take like 8 of them and be on a caffeine rush for godknowshowlong) or a hangover." I have decided to take this request and see you...hangover shits. Reno drinks like a fish (never did understand that saying, but that's beside the point). The point is...Reno drinks...a lot. So, after a night of heavy drinking (see previous chapter), he wakes up with a migraine from hell, hangover shits and...well, just read it. You'll see. Again, the first two rows will get wet.

Disclaimer: I do not own FF-VII, Pepto or Imitrex...thank GOD! That is some messed up shit!

"Get your ass up! You're gonna be late for work!"

Must...kill...perky...ninja, his throbbing mind goaded him. EMR...zap! Done.

But then he would have to deal with the smell of burnt Wutain flesh on top of this nasty feeling in his gut. No. Bad. Get up. Get rid of her.

"Ugh."

"That...was intelligent," Yuffie giggled, leaping onto the bed. "C'mon. Tseng'll have your ass if your late again."

"Don't...fuckin'...care," he grumbled, rolling over to look at her. HISS! Light! "Why aren't you hung over? You drank as much...uh...you drank last night, too."

Yuffie reached into her pocket and produced a bottle of pills, rattling them at him. Reno winced and snatched them. "What are these? Your happy pills?"

"Imitrex," she explained. "Migraine medicine. Knock one back and your headache is gone in fifteen minutes."

Reno opened the bottle and poured five into his hand, popping them in his mouth and swallowing them down. Yuffie balked. "Holy shit, Reno!" she exclaimed. "Those are powerful pills! You're not supposed to take more than two in a 24 hour period!"

"Yeah, and you're also not supposed to drink until you need a blood transfusion either," he grinned sheepishly.

"True."

His stomach started rolling and he pushed her off the bed. "Move it," he growled, stumbling into the bathroom. "My ass is about to blow."

"Charming," she mumbled rolling her eyes. "Pepto's on the table. I'll see you tonight, okay?"

She was answered by a very disturbing noise that sounded much like water pouring into water. Yuffie scrunched her nose in disgust. "Good luck with that!" she giggled.

"Blow me!"

"No fuckin' way!"

"Love you, too, Ninja Bitch!"

Yuffie laughed. "Later, my Turkey Sandwich!"

"I'm trying to take a shit!"

"I'm trying to be nice!"

"Then come wipe my ass!"

"Wipe the come off your own ass!"

"Bitch!"

"Love you!"

Yuffie closed the door to Reno's apartment and laughed. She really did love him.

"You're late."

"I'm hung over, you sadistic bastard," Reno grumbled. "And only by...fifteen minutes. That's good for me!"

Tseng arched an eyebrow in warning. "Reno..."

"Look, Tseng," Reno sighed. "Give me about ten minutes and I'll be fine. I took some headache pills Yuffs had. Pepto's working nicely on the hangover shits. My ass feels like it has rug burn, but other than that, I'll be fine as soon as these pills kick in."

Tseng shook his head. "Ten minutes," he said. "Go get some coffee."

Reno saluted him and made his way into the break room. Elena was uncovering a dish of what looked like turkey rollups. Reno pointed to it. "What the fuck is that?" he asked.

Elena shrugged. "I was experimenting with some appetizers last night and brought them in for everyone to try," she said. "I was bored. It's a flour tortilla with turkey, gouda cheese and ranch dressing. They're pretty good. Try some."

Reno's stomach was starting to feel a little better so he reached for one, taking a hesistant bite. "Hmm," he said, chewing and swallowing the first one. "These are pretty good, Laney."

She beamed. "Thanks Reno," she said. "Help yourself, okay?"

Reno poured himself a cup of coffee and plopped down in front of the tray. "Don't mind if I do," he said, stuffing another one into his mouth.

Tseng glanced down at his watch and frowned in disapproval. Ten minutes had come and gone and Reno was still not in his office. Rising from his seat, the Wutain exited his office and ventured down the hall.

"Elena," he said when he spotted his blonde lover. "Have you seen Reno?"

"Last I saw him, he was in the break room eating those appetizers I brought in," she said. She smiled. "Have you tried them yet?"

He returned the smile. "I will when I check to see if he's in there," he said offering her his arm. "Care to join me for a coffee break?"

She blushed. "I'd love to," she answered.

They entered the breakroom, stopping and staring in horror at the writhing mass of red hair on the floor. Reno was twitching, drool oozing down the side of his face. His eyes were wide opened, but it was clear he wasn't seeing anything.

Tseng dropped to his knees, grabbing the redhead by his shoulders, shaking him slightly. "Reno!" he exclaimed. "Reno, answer me, damn it!"

"My drop box needs armed," Reno muttered, his hand trying to grasp at Tseng's jacket. "Blue sand eat feet."

"What's wrong with him?" Elena asked, looking down in concern.

Tseng shook his head. "Call Yuffie Kisaragi and see what he took this morning," he ordered. "He said something about taking some headache pills. It looks like he's having a reaction."

Reno heard all this coming from the blurry figures in front of him. Get me to the Medical Facility, his brain screamed. All that came out of his mouth was, "Whipped glass paper iPod."

"Right. Thanks Yuffie," Elena said, closing her phone. She turned to Tseng. "She said he took five Imitrex this morning."

Tseng nodded. "Call the Medical Facility and have them send someone up to get him," he said. Reno grabbed onto Tseng's neck, pulling himself up.

Finally, you stupid mother fucker, he thought. What came out was, "Bunny suma beaded lullaby."

Reno fell back against the floor, rolling over to face the tile. He then proceeded to vomit up the coffee and the half tray of Elena's appetizers he had consumed. The half digested ranch and turkey rolls came up with a vengeance, the smell so sour and foul that Tseng had to stand up and take a step back, covering his face with his handkerchief.

The Medical Facility staff arrived shortly, taking the blabbering Turk to the Facility. Tseng turned to Elena as they stood outside the breakroom. "I apologize," he said with a grimace. "But there is no way I'm going to try that stuff."

Elena nodded, watching the janitor clean up the mess.

Yuffie looked up from her magazine and smiled as Reno walked through the door of his apartment. "Hey Babe," she said cheerfully. She cocked her head at his disheveled appearance and crinkled her nose at the smell coming from his clothes. "What happened to you?"

"Your damn voodoo pills, that's what!" he snapped, throwing himself down on the sofa. "They fucked my brain up something fierce."

"Yeah, I was wondering why Elena called me," she said, scooting away from him. "You need a shower."

He nodded and stood up. "Remind me never to drink that much again or take any more of those things...ever," he said, making his way into the bathroom.

"What do you want for dinner, Turkey?" she called returning to her magazine.

She was answered by a very disturbing noise that sounded much like water pouring into water as Reno, once again, threw up at the mention of turkey.

A/N: This actually happened to me. The BC pills I was on triggered severe migraines, so the doctors gave me Imitrex to counter them. I was helping make appetizers for a friends wedding (yes, THOSE appetizers) and I was sampling them. I felt a migraine start up, took an Imitrex...it didn't touch it. Took another one and the above scenario occurred. I was thinking what I wanted to say, but it would not come out that way. It was like all of my synapses unhooked and resnapped to something totally different. Very bizarre. And ranch dressing puked up is the worst smell ever. I promise you that. Okay, now that we've had an intimate portrait from AmazonTurk...REVIEW!!!