Disclaimers: I do NOT own Katekyo Hitman Reborn! or any of its characters. But the plot and storyline is completely made up by me, so I DO own that.
REPLIES TO REVIEWS:
Zamsyzk: I know… Fran's been quite depressing lately -.- I find myself wanting to smack him, when it's actually my fault =_= And aww, once again, poor Mukuro gets blamed~ Heheh, he's really a troublemaker isn't he? And you like making Fran guilty? Me too~! I like torturing him, for some weird sadistic reason. I get satisfaction from seeing him show some emotion – lol. Anyways, THANK YOU~!! ^_^
shizu Fumikari: Cool method for reading fics when you're supposed to be sleeping~ I'll try that sometime ^^ And I LOL when you mentioned all those things about Mukuro being a creepy pedophile and a nappo fetish~ I got the same feeling when he did that in the manga -.- But unfortunately, as to keep the plot sort of accurate, I had to add that name-calling thing in… oh well ._. Anyways, THANK YOU~!! ^_^
Ying-Darkness: I know~ Fran is pretty much pissing everyone off at the moment, oh, except for Mukuro -_- And THANK YOU~!! ^_^
-akane-F4S-: THANK YOU~ ^_^ I really love making readers feel what I intended them to feel~
grawrgrawrninja: Lol~ XD and THANK YOU~!! ^_^
Evanescences Angel: Oh, how I LOVE your long reviews~ I just like reading them you see, and it totally makes my day~ ^^ So thank you so much for that~ And yes, I do like torturing my readers, heheh, it gives me motivation for some weird reason ^^;; About Gokudera and Yamamoto… they're really hard to fit in right now without making them look like an interruption of Bel x Fran, especially that I planned their conflict out to be huge ^^ So… I might just create a minor fic alongside this one as a special for all the 8059 fans, or maybe add a special at the end of this fic~ What do you think? Off-topic: M.M. was a total jealous biatch in that KHR chapter -.- ps. Amy Lee FTW!! XD And finally… THANK YOU~!! ^_^
Satii-de-Sange: THANK YOU~! ^_^ I feel really honored when people say my fic is one of the best when it's a part of all these fab fics~
zenny: THANK YOU~~!! ^_^ And I'm sorry for the cruelty of it, I felt so honored when you said it was one of the best things you've read in your life~ *cuddles* And oh YES, I would love it if this fic would be turned into a doujin! XD
KandiedTaikou: Ahh… sorry, I really love XS too, but I just can't fit them in with all the angst of Bel and Fran in the last chap… And THANK YOU~!! ^_^
Mayab: Thank you for reviewing~ Hope you get to this chapter soon ^_^
CSFlinxStalker: Heheh, yesh, I do realize how evil I am ^^;; But I guess that's part of what a good writer should be, to torture and keep their readers wanting more ;P Anyways, THANK YOU~!! ^_^
animaniac-aizel012: Yay, I made you cry~ ^O^ I mean… well, it's a good thing for me as a writer ^^;; And yes, I agree, it is mostly Fran's fault ._. And THANK YOU~!! ^_^ *noms on cake*
xx Mizz. Masquerade xx: Hehe, I was actually freaking out when I wrote the last chapter since it was near 11.00pm and I was just merely over half-way T^T But I'm really glad you liked it ^_^ And good luck with your story~ I will try to read it if I have the time :] And… THANK YOU~~!! ^_^
liloloveyou024: Yes, I have decided to pair Goku and Yama back up, but the plot to that is very complicated so I might not be able to fit it in the Bel x Fran issue. However, I will be writing that very soon either as another minor fic alongside this or as a special chapter at the end of this one ^_^ Finally… THANK YOU~~!! ^_^
fan girl 666: Wow, I didn't actually realise that until you mentioned the roller-coaster thing~ Heheh, but anyways, THANK YOU~~! ^_^
marsnmonkey: I know, Bel's scary and violent T^T But we all love him… and THANK YOU~~!! ^_^
BlackCatHikari: Lol, I always do that when reading fics and realize I have to wait for the next chap, haha. The real manga inspired the Mukuro part for me, and I'm so glad you read my fic ^_^ THANK YOU~!! ^_^
crimson-bell: You are one of those rare people who actually like Mukuro here ^^ It's cool to have so many opinions and views of the characters. And THANK YOU~~!! ^_^
AkatsukiSinx666: A new reader/reviewer!! ^O^ THANK YOU~~!! ^_^
Maschera di Miseria: Lol, I'm glad you like my story ^_^ especially since this is my first fic… and THANK YOU~~!! ^_^
Aya: Lol, the 'no next button' thing could really annoy people, couldn't they? XD Merry Christmas to you too!! And THANK YOU~!! ^_^
D: : Ahhh, I would like to say that I'm glad I made people cry, but that wouldn't sound too good ^^;; And I will SOON fix this… finally THANK YOU~!! ^_^
iFran: Hehe, I'm really happy when I saw your name, since I recognized it from 'The Hitman Dares' ^^ And yes, I do enjoy torturing my readers, even though it's unintentional ;P Anyways, THANK YOU~!! ^_^
Ms Random Freak: Ahhh, the grammar and English stuff T_T I really need a Beta now, since English is my 2nd language and sometimes I'm just completely oblivious to the mistakes… But I'm really glad you like the plot and was able to make you cry… it's one of the three major things I try to focus on when writing a fic (not the crying part though -.- that's just an extra bit I try to achieve). Finally… THANK YOU~~!! ^_^
shi-fuuun: Ah, I'm glad you like the story. In the last chapter I freaked out when writing it and got depressed since I was under pressure to finish it before midnight (that was the time I had to go to sleep in preparation for a singing competition the next day). I was practically abusing my keyboard -_- I'm also very oblivious to grammar mistakes, even when I read through the second and third time T_T I guess I really need a Beta. But THANK YOU~~!! I'll keep trying to make it right ^_^
To all readers and Reviewers (PLEASE READ!!):
1. I am looking for someone to Beta my story to get rid of all the grammatical errors and other mistakes I always fail to notice -.- If any of you are interested and are good at that kind of thing, please tell me ^^
2. For all 8059 fans, I have decided to bring that couple back together ^_^ So that's good news. But the thing is, I couldn't afford to squeeze them in between Bel and Fran's story – it would be too awkward to suddenly concentrate on them since I planned their relationship to work out in a complicated way and would take up too much space on this Bel x Fran fic. However, I am thinking of writing EITHER a special chapter for them all alone possibly at the end of this fic OR write a new minor fic alongside this one for them. Please help me decide! ^_^ (Dino will also be included in there, but I'll let you figure out why ;P)
3. I know I've always written the 'replies to reviews' for all of your reviews - and I really appreciate every single one of them – but now I'm struggling to find time to reply to every single one of them since life have suddenly gotten busier. So, I would like to ask you guys, could I just answer them as a whole and not individually? I value every single review (and I strongly encourage you to keep reviewing as to support me and keep me motivated ^_^) and of course, I will still answer specific questions and so on, but sometimes I feel like I'm repeating myself in the replies so I think it might be better (well, for me, at least) to reply in an overall reply kind of thing – since I saw other writers whom I respect do it as well. Therefore, I hope you guys wouldn't mind if I do that ^_^;;
4. The last chapter received an AMAZING amount of 26 reviews!! Andddd… the total finally went over 100 reviews!! XD I'm so grateful for every single one and I'm extremely happy to see both new and old names coming up. ^_^ Please keep up all the reviewing - I couldn't describe the feelings I get when I wake up the morning after I updated and am able to read so many reviews and what they have to say! XD You guys are truly AWESOME, and I really love you all~ *glomps reviewers* Thank you sooooo much for reviewing! I'll keep on trying my best!! XD
Pain.
Throbbing. Burning. Clenching. Freezing.
Pain.
Falling. Losing. Consuming.
Pain.
Suffocating. Torturing.
Pain.
…killing.
One Day Later
"Ne, what's up with him now?" Ken whispered as he peeked inside the bedroom.
Chikusa was silent for a moment as he observed the situation before he replied quietly. "He's hurt."
Ken frowned, peeking once again before he turned around to look at his lover, a confused expression on his face. "Well, it's clear he's covered in blood, but he doesn't seem injured to me."
Chikusa blinked at his lover before he let out a long sigh – Ken just doesn't get it. The pale-skinned boy then stood up and started walking away from the area. Naturally, Ken stood up as well and followed the megane boy, even though he's still confused. "Oi, Kakipii~ I don't understand-"
"Just let him be." Chikusa cut off the part-animal teen, not even turning around to look, and continued to walk back to his room. Ken raised one eyebrow at the back of that white beanie, still not getting what's happening, before he decided to shrug it off and just mind his own business. On the way back to their room, the two passed Chrome, who was heading to the area they just left. Chikusa ignored the girl whilst Ken clicked his tongue in distaste of her presence. The female illusionist, used to this reaction, just kept on walking, until finally, she reached her destination - the room where Fran used to be.
Last night, Mukuro had entered her dreams and told her he would be away, and that he had taken Fran away with him. Mukuro had also told her to beware of Prince the Ripper whom he labeled as a 'dangerous mentally-disturbed killer'. That was one of the times Chrome felt like disagreeing with Mukuro; according to what she saw during the past days, the prince seemed to be nice and… caring even, to his kouhai. Nontheless, if Mukuro told her to beware, then she would be cautious, no matter what.
As Chrome stopped in front of the old, broken door, she saw that it had been left open slightly, a gap just large enough to look through, which meant that Ken and Chikusa must've came to take a look as well. The girl illusionist considered her actions for mere seconds, deciding, before she finally came to a conclusion. Even though it is incredibly rude, she was going to take a peek on Prince the Ripper.
The image she saw partly shocked her, but also partly saddened her. Prince the Ripper of Varia was covered in dried blood, similarly to the room, and he was sitting on the blood-stained bed in a fetal, crouching position. In his arms, hugged tight against his chest, was a pillow which Chrome assumed as Fran's. His face leaned into the pillow as if he could smell a scent from it, a soft looking posture in contrast to the bunch of knives he held in his two hands – both of them gripping so tightly and fiercely the blades cut that skin and fresh blood was dripping down the fingers and sinking into the white fabric of the pillow – so much blood that two sides of the pillow was soaked crimson red.
But what was sad was the expression on the prince's face. It was so blank, so empty, so lifeless it was as if someone had ripped away his soul - and yet those hands which gripped at the knives were fisting so violently they vibrated, showing how much pain Bel was experiencing. Chrome couldn't see the prince's eyes but she could tell that they were just as soulless as his expression – unblinking, pupils unmoving, staring at empty spaces and focusing on nothing. They were eyes of a corpse.
Not a single voice could be heard and not a single teardrop could be seen, and yet, that was even sadder than crying. At least sobbing or screaming would show pain, would be a sign of emotion, of life – but this blankness? Nothing. It looked like someone had torn away Bel's heart and soul, leaving just the body there. Dead. Apart from those shaking, trembling hands which were cutting itself and bleeding, the prince looked no different form a dead person.
Chrome took a few steps back from the door, her pupils quivering and her eyes filling up with tears. Mukuro had briefly described what happened yesterday to her, but seeing the consequences of it – the state Bel was in - that was too sad. In so much torture and yet so lifeless… and when she thought about when Bel was with Fran, smiling that unique, wide bright blissful smile of his along with snickering at Fran's blush… the comparison was just overbearing.
The illusionist thought of Fran, and she knew he would be no different from the prince right now. She saw it, when they were together, she saw it in their eyes, their tone of voice, their posture, how they talked to and handled each other… Bel and Fran were in love. But now…
Fran-sama… what did you do…?
"This is your captain speaking, welcome to our airway…"
The cracked voice of the captain came through the speakers, but a certain passenger didn't even notice the sound. To her, that noise was just like a buzzing in the background, blending with all the other things she ignored in this moment. All she concentrated on was looking out of the window, keeping her forehead glued to the glass even though she wasn't really looking at anything in particular. In fact, her emerald green eyes were so lifeless it was as if she was a porcelain doll. She didn't even notice the man who came and sat next to her – everything around her seemed to be nothing but a blur. All she could think of was one name and one name only…
Bel-senpai…
That girl was Fran.
After Mukuro had performed first-aid on Fran and took him to a hospital to get him treated and stitched up, he immediately booked Fran a plane ticket to Italy, creating a fake passport and ID with his illusions and refused to let Fran spend another night at the hospital as the doctor insisted. Then, he drove Fran to the airport. The young illusionist was recovering from his blood loss but he still didn't have enough power to create an illusion - therefore, Mukuro put an illusion on him instead before he vaporized and told Fran they would meet up in Rome.
The illusion Mukuro put on Fran was a girl in the same age as Fran, but with completely different looks: long straight black hair which goes to his waist, plush full lips, a slender waist and slim body in a thick white velvet coat which covers up the whole body to the knees, where it met glossy black leather boots. The only few things which were kept the same was Fran's emerald green eyes, pale pink tinted skin and his wounds. Fran thought of these things as ridiculous and felt downright weird wearing such clothes, but Mukuro reasoned that it would be troublesome if a camera caught a picture of him as himself. Fran argued that the wounds Mukuro left appearing would give it away anyways, but Mukuro said that he needed to look as injured as he is so that people could treat him correctly, and that it wouldn't be obvious since the coat was covering most of the cuts and bruises anyways. Fran shrugged it off and reluctantly agreed, however, needing to be a girl, and a very pretty one at that, still seemed like a stupid and ridiculous idea.
All the time Fran was with Mukuro, he was fine. The young illusionist spent his time complaining and keeping his mind busy bothering about every other tiny little detail. Not once did he let his mind be empty to allow the image of someone in particular to slip in. But, ever since Mukuro left him to travel alone, his world became like a blur. Nothing around him made sense and he couldn't take a grip on reality. It was a wonder how he actually got to the right plane. Fran didn't remember how he got there, and how many things and people he bumped into… all he knew was that suddenly he realised he was on board and that's it. Without Mukuro to distract him, all his mind focused on and kept on repeating was that name…
Bel-senpai…
It burned him. Every memory of the prince was killing him, torturing him just like how those knives cut into his flesh. Fran didn't even comprehend anymore… he was losing it, falling into his dazed, doll-like state where he didn't react, didn't hear and didn't own the five senses of a human anymore. He was like a fish without gills – unable to breathe. Like a body without a soul – unable to feel. A corpse. But what was different was that even though he didn't notice or feel anything on the outside, his insides were breaking. Burning. Shattering. Falling apart into pieces.
Bel-senpai…
Fran remembered the feelings during the times they spent together clear in his mind – so clear it was too real. His first embrace, the time they spent in that room in the base. His first kiss, after Bel lost himself to insanity when his victim was a Mammon look-alike. His first time – drugged - ever so unnaturally sensitive; a painful yet pleasurable experience. His first feeling of jealousy, when Gokudera was crying in his senpai's arms. The promise that warmed him when he was sick. The first feeling of love. The first time he cried in years. The feelings he felt when he saw the prince's face at Kokuyo land that morning. The time Bel was ever so gentle with him. That plaster, that breakfast, that sweet embrace, that goodnight kiss… then, Bel's pain, felt by him through abuse. And then… when Bel whispered those words…
'I love you.'
Fran felt his breath caught up with him, his throat drying up – it felt like a tight ball was caught inside his throat. He couldn't swallow and he couldn't breathe… all he could feel was pain. Endless pain which kept on increasing and repeating with every phrase he remembered Bel saying. That smile, that snicker… Fran could hear Bel's signature laugh ringing in his ears and his eyes pricked.
No. Stop thinking about him. It's over. Done.
But even though Fran kept convincing himself, the pain didn't go away. Fran always thought those feelings he read in a romance was over-expressed and fake, but when he felt it for real, he couldn't even describe it. It's like a part of him was missing… a significant, important part of him wasn't there. And it hurt. It hurt, so, ever so much. Missing that part was too much… No. It wasn't just a part. It was a half.
Fran lost half of his life.
"…miss?" That voice from behind Fran suddenly stood out from everything else, and Fran realised how long the voice had been calling him for. He turned, and…
…
It was like de-ja-vu. The person who sat next to him was so much like Bel that for a moment, Fran was speechless. That same messy blonde hair but without eye-covering bangs, those very same earphones Bel used during the flight they took to Japan, and that smile… that wide slightly wild smile was so similar Fran saw Bel's face overlap the teenager's.
"Uh… miss?" The blonde spoke again.
Fran shook his head before he replied, his eyes still wide with shock. "Yes?"
"Um, I just wanna tell you that we're taking off, and you need to fasten your seatbelt." The blonde was around nineteen - the same age as Bel… "Miss?" He repeated once again when Fran just stared at his face. The illusionist quickly snapped back into reality and fastened the seatbelt. He didn't even realize the aeroplane was moving until now.
Fran stared straight forward, trying his hardest not to think about anything. But the memories were crashing down on him now that he was reminded. That voice, that touch, that face, those fingers, that tiara…
'Froggy…'
'Don't leave the prince.'
'I want you back.'
'Froggy…'
'No. I won't let you go.'
…
'I love you.'
"Ah—! Are you okay?" The blonde guy beside Fran suddenly looked very worried and concerned. Fran turned to him once again, a blank expression on his face. That guy then handed him a tissue, and Fran just stared.
What?
"Um… you're crying… I just thought…" He blushed and scratched his head shyly.
Fran lifted his hands and touched his cheeks… and sure enough, there were tears streaming down his face. He looked at those clear droplets on the tip of his fingers.
I didn't even know…
I already have master. It's over… what is wrong with me?
…I should never have met you, senpai.
I never should have… loved…
Fran pulled up his knees and hid his face before he closed his eyes, letting the tears fall without stopping them anymore. When Fran started crying like that, the blonde guy didn't know what to do, so he awkwardly patted Fran's shoulders, unsure of how to handle the crying girl beside him. But that touch was similar to Bel's, and the tears kept coming… but Fran will let it go. Today would be the last day that he would cry like this in front of anyone…
Let the tears drop, until none is left.
Let the pain burn, until I can no longer feel.
Pain.
Squeezing. Tormenting. Aching.
Pain.
Repeating. Gripping.
Pain.
…hurting.
One Week Later
"Where the fuck is he? Has he really got himself killed this time? That maniac…" Squalo mumbled whilst he drank his soda, sitting stretched out on the sofa, one leg hanging over the top, and staring at his cell phone – as if that would make it ring.
"I don't know… Bel-chan is a genius at combat, but he has been gone for quite some time now…" Lussuria tapped his lips lightly with his index finger as he thought.
"That brat too. Bel said he's found him, now what? They both disappear. Useless trash…" Squalo took another loud sip from his soda, those pale blue eyes still glancing at his mobile from time to time.
Lussuria noticed that action - and sighed. "Just call him, Squa-chan."
"What?" Squalo turned.
"Boss. Sitting there staring at the phone won't make him call you. If you miss him, just call, no big deal…" Lussuria said easily, crossing his legs.
Squalo rolled his eyes. "Che. Whatever. What makes you think I miss that bastard?"
"Checking your phone for miss calls or texts every five minutes?" Lussuria teased.
"Shut up, you Gaylord." Squalo mumbled, turning away and hiding that ever so faint blush.
"Aww, Squa-chan, there's no need to be shy about it~" The Gaylord continued to tease, wagging his finger in that typical motherly way.
Squalo turned back, looking annoyed. "VOII~! I said shut the fu-"
CLICK.
The two Varia assassins quieted down when they heard that click of the door, before they both stood up at the same time. Squalo put down his big soda glass and slowly walked towards the door.
Suddenly, the door swung open, and there he was, standing right in the middle of the door – Prince the Ripper, covered in dry blood and those hands and arms bleeding, dripping fresh red liquid from countless number of cuts as if his whole flesh was made up of gashes.
Squalo, being the closest to Bel, started rambling. "What the fuck, Bel? Where the hell have you been all this time, and what about the-" Squalo stopped mid-sentence when Bel weakly walked over and silently rested his head on the elder's shoulder. This kind of intimacy was never shown by the prince to Squalo before, and immediately, he knew something was wrong. From the first day Bel joined the Varia the prince had been like Squalo's younger brother, and he could tell straight away when Bel needed help. Squalo lifted the hand on the side of the shoulder where Bel's head was resting before he roughly stroked Bel's messed-up hair. "Voi, what happened, Bel?"
Lussuria moved closer and stood by Bel's side – it was rare to see the prince vulnerable like this. It was a wonder what could've been the cause. One phrase answered it all.
"I love him."
There was no need for explanations after that. Bel didn't need to say who he was talking about, didn't need to say what happened, didn't need to talk about any details… that phrase explained it all. It was obvious who Bel was talking about, and it could be seen by the state of him what had been the result. Fran didn't come back with the prince. That only meant one thing…
However, Lussuria frowned. There was one conflict…
Fran loved Bel. At least he did before he ran away.
Then why would he…
That was the only thing he couldn't understand, but he didn't dare ask, seeing the condition Bel was in. So Lussuria just kept quiet whilst Squalo used one arm to hug and squeeze Bel's shoulders whilst another smoothed Bel's hair. The Shark of Varia wasn't good with comforting people, stringing nice words together wasn't something he would do - but he knew how to support the people close to him. Bel just remained silent, but he leaned into Squalo as the elder took him to sit on the sofa. Eventually, the prince fell asleep on Squalo's shoulders.
"Oh, poor Bel-chan," Lussuria quietly spoke when he was sure the prince was asleep. "He must have been lacking sleep for so many days. And those hands and arms…"
"Mmm." Squalo murmured as he slowly lowered the prince's head off from his shoulders and rested it on the pillow instead. "Take care of him, Luss. I'm gonna call boss – report to him."
And not waiting for the Gaylord to add any inappropriate comments, Squalo picked up his mobile and walked into his room, closing the door behind him. As soon as the door closed, the Shark of Varia dialed the number of his boss/lover which he memorized.
It wasn't long before Xanxus picked up.
[What?]
That deep, slightly rage-filled and sleepy voice came through the line, and Squalo lips curved into a faint smile – barely there, but definitely a smile.
"Voi, Xanxus, it's me."
Bed. Table. Sofa. Chair. Kitchen. Fridge. Bathroom. Sink.
Mirror.
Fran stared himself in the mirror, seeing those emerald green eyes staring right back at him. Two pools of green which had lost its spark. So dull. So lifeless. Beneath those eyes were dark shadows – eyebags – tainting that perfect pale skin. Skin. That changed as well. The usual pretty pink glow it always held disappeared. Just like how those cheeks didn't hold that healthy shade anymore. Only pale, dry, white skin – like a sick person, infected by a life-risking disease. So weak. So vulnerable.
The illusionist lifted his hands and touched the surface of the mirror with his fingers, staring as the real skin met its reflection. The sleeve of Fran's over-sized shirt slid down his wrists in that motion and revealed the dried cuts of a piece of fabric. Fran stared at the cuts, mesmerized by every detail.
A week. A whole week.
It had been a week now that Fran stayed at this hotel. It wasn't a particularly good one, but it was good enough, and it was cheap. Mukuro wanted Fran to be kept as unnoticed as possible, so he left Fran here and insisted that he does not leave the place unless during an emergency. Every meal was to be ordered and delivered through room service. Then, Mukuro disappeared, leaving Fran here alone for the rest of the week.
But ever since Mukuro was gone, Fran turned into a wreck. His days consisted of only sleeping and eating. He woke up in the middle of the day and only ate a maximum of two meals per day – pushing his food around the plate, taking only a bite or two - before he would lie down and try to sleep once again. He hardly bathed, and only changed from night clothes to night clothes. Plain long sleeved shirts and loose boxers that hung on his pale and even skinnier body. Fran tried to sleep as much as possible, because when he's sleeping, he could escape from the thoughts and memories of his senpai. But nightmares kept coming, even worse than when he was in Kokuyo. Mukuro no longer had enough power to visit him in his dreams, and the nightmares took over - creeping at him, leaving him panting and gasping. Sometimes, Fran would scream. Scream so loudly and in so much pain that the person in the room beside had to call the security to check in on him. It was the worst situation. Fran tried to sleep, but couldn't. And when he does, nightmares didn't leave him alone. Images of his senpai haunted him.
The wounds on his body only acted as a reminder, and they weakened him, both physically and mentally. Fran refused to eat the medicine the Japanese doctor gave him, and he ripped off the bandages. The white bandages stood out too much, it reminded him too much of the person he left. But getting rid of the bandages was not a good choice – those red gashes and cuts along his pale body stood out like red paint splashed on white canvas.
Fran kept staring at his own reflection, looking into his dull eyes. Then, he looked at his lips. It was dry, chapped and cracked, holding no colour whatsoever. Pale and drenched of life. It yearned for care and it yearned for the warmth someone used to give to him every day and every night. That kiss. He longed for the prince so much.
It was true. Fran had lost half of his life. His first love.
Why? He kept questioning himself. Why am I here?
What is the point of doing this?
…what is the point of living without him?
Fran didn't cry anymore - no tears were left to be shed. But the pain didn't go away. It didn't get any better. Living through it was worse. It was too torturing, especially when Fran knew it in his heart that it was his fault.
I was the one who left him.
I was the one who said it was too late.
I was the one who chose somebody else.
I was the one… who killed the both of us.
…and now what? Fran wanted to know. What am I doing here?
The illusionist turned towards the small clear glass vase on the sink which held a single flower inside. The flower was dying, drooping sadly from the lack of water. Fran didn't leave the room, so no one had come in to clean up and change the flower, and Fran didn't care about things like a stupid plant. But now, since he saw the dying flower, he thought of himself. The flower was dying because it didn't have water.
Bel was Fran's water. Fran was dying without him.
With that thought, Fran smacked the vase off from the sink, causing it to shatter into many sharp pieces. The illusionist then walked over to the largest piece - stepping carelessly on the rest, not noticing it cutting into his foot - before he picked it up. The glass gleamed and reflected the light of the bathroom whilst the dying flower lay there, flopped on the floor – Fran stared at both, glancing from one another before he slowly pressed the piece of glass on his small wrist.
Then, Fran violently slashed the glass through his flesh, aiming directly at that largest artery. Blood squirted and dripped from the gash as Fran dropped the piece of dirtied glass onto the floor. Those dull eyes watched as fresh, red blood oozed and dripped from his wrist. He didn't even flinch. In fact, he didn't even feel the pain. The illusionist was absorbed into looking at himself bleeding and draining of blood. For a few moments, Fran stood there, staring and unblinking, until he finally looked up from his cut. He then walked over to the shower, stepping all over the broken glass on the floor, and turned on the shower tap without even thinking about anything in particular. Fran felt the cold water wash over him and his clothes, and he slowly closed his eyes.
It felt like such a relief, as he had been released from all the pain. It was washing away in the shower as the blood drained from his body.
As darkness gradually and eventually consumed Fran's mind and that petite body fell over, Fran had only one image in his head.
The image of Belphegor, smiling at him.
Pain.
Pulsing. Numbing.
Pain.
…continuing.
One Month Later
Gokudera stood by Lussuria infront of the airport, in his hands there was Bel's luggage. The two of them watched as Squalo dragged Bel out from the car. The prince hadn't improved much – he was still corpse-like and lifeless and it was rather disturbing to anyone who knew him. Even Gokudera was shocked when he saw the state of Bel. The prince only spoke when he was spoken to, and in a very short one-worded reply. Lussuria briefly explained to the bomber of what had happened, and Gokudera felt sorry for Bel. The state of the prince was just as bad as when he realised Yamamoto's feelings for Hibari – it was a state of torture and pain. Even though the two storm guardians showed it differently, the similarity could be seen. It was the first time Gokudera and Bel didn't try to provoke each other when they met. Bel just simply nodded at him before he went back to cleaning his knives – a habit he had taken up as a distraction from his feelings. It was good that Bel also had Squalo and Lussuria with him to keep him busy and never alone. Bel had cut himself too many times when he hid himself in the bathroom, and the two elder Varia assassins could save the prince just in time on every occasion. No, Bel wasn't attempting suicide – not exactly. Bel didn't slit his wrists and he never aimed at any significant spot or artery. In fact, he chose the safest parts to cut - the flesh on his arms, his thighs, his calves – but when those parts were being sliced repeatedly and deeply, Bel might as well have died from blood loss. Soon enough, Squalo and Lussuria had enough of Bel cutting up himself, so they never left the prince alone on any occasion and quickly organized a flight back home to Italy. Bel needed to get some sense back, and he was going to get it slapped back into him by all of the Varia.
Therefore, Gokudera was reported that the Varia was going back to Italy and was assigned to be the one to send them off safely and securely. The bomber was partly happy that the chaotic lot will soon be gone, but also part of him was also worried about the issue that now he had no excuse but to return to the base and meet his ex-lover. All this time he hardly stepped his feet into the base giving reason that he was looking after and observing the Varia, and he only went into the base to talk to his boss, the Tenth. Gokudera had avoided all contact with Yamamoto and Hibari – but now, he was going to have to face the two of them. It was going to be hell, he was certain – especially that Yamamoto had no idea that he already was fully aware that their relationship was well over. The naive swordsman must have probably assumed that his ex-lover was on a very busy mission and didn't have time to call or answer his calls.
Thinking about Yamamoto pained his heart, and Gokudera tried his hardest to ignore and endure the constant clenching in his chest. He will never show his weaknesses to anyone, not even the Tenth. But having to face Yamamoto and act like it was all okay? No. That was too much, and the more Gokudera thought about it, the more he depressed himself.
What should I do if he brings it up? How should I act if I walked in on him and Hibari together? Will I be able to control myself? What should I say if he asks for a break-up? And how would I-
"Ne, Gokudera-chan." Lussuria's voice interrupted his thoughts. "We're ready to leave now. You can send us off here."
"Ah--" Gokudera snapped back into reality as he passed Bel's luggage to the owner who silently took the bag. "Sorry, I spaced out for a second."
Lussuria looked at the younger, silver-haired boy before he decided to say, "Hey, relax~ You look so tensed and depressed, Gokudera-chan."
Gokudera flinched at the 'chan' after his name, but he nodded and mumbled back a reply. "I'm fine."
"Voi, so we're leaving brat." Squalo said as he swung his bag over his shoulders. "Tell that boss kid we're still not supporting him, but we thank him for finding us a place to stay and whatever."
Gokudera resisted the urge to yell at the swordsman for not supporting his wonderful Tenth before he nodded, his teeth gritted as he produced a very fake smile. "Have a safe good trip back to Italy, Varia."
"Yeah, yeah… see ya brat. Don't get yourself killed." Squalo finished before he started heading into the airport, dragging Bel with him. "Oi, Bel, put away those knives, you're scaring people."
Bel absently did as he was told, which was stange, before he kept on silently walking with his head down. Lussuria followed the two shortly behind, giving a very flamboyant wave as he blew a kiss at Gokudera. The Storm guardian flinched, feeling disturbed, before he got back into his car and started driving back to the base, silently preparing himself for what's to come.
I'm going to face you, baseball-freak, and I'll show you I don't give a damn.
It was a lie, but at least Gokudera could pretend that it's true when he's alone.
As for the Varia, Squalo and Lussuria were trying to keep Bel distracted and talking, but the prince did nothing more than replying in 'Mmm's and 'yes's and 'no's. Bel had been rather depressed in the past month. Squalo and Lussuria took extreme measures to make sure he doesn't go out mass-murdering innocent people – not like they really cared, they were rather more worried that Bel will disappear again and then the Boss will be mad at them – now that was something they seriously didn't want to happen.
So therefore, since Bel could not kill others, he brought his knives down on himself. He wasn't sure why he did it – he was in the spur of a moment, and the next minute his arm was entirely covered in blood, his flesh looking like nothing but a bloody piece of violently sliced up meat. The same thing happened to his legs. Bel knew it was dangerous, but somehow, it felt like a stress-relief. All the thoughts about Fran and how he is living with Mukuro right now caused the prince to be under so much pressure he literally lost who he was. He hardly thought about anything anymore, and for most of the time he seemed to be caught up in his own world. But this world was different from that mad, insane mess he usually slipped into. This world was a dark and depressing world – a world where stress consumed the mind and made people lose their ability to think clearly. Bel would cut himself when his mind was floating in this particular world. The blood draining out of him was like the bad memories flowing out of him; the flesh being ripped and sliced was like the stress being released. The prince rarely ever did his signature smile or snicker anymore. The only times Squalo and Lussuria heard it or saw it, was when Bel cut himself.
But ever since the two elder Varia assassins kept a sharp eye on the prince after a few near-death experiences, Bel had been more stressed out that ever. It was difficult, because Bel had never felt such strong feelings before, and then all of a sudden this emotional dump landed on him; crashed onto him in one great slam. The most torturing part of it, though, was that Bel had realised his feelings for his kouhai. He told Fran he loved him, and he believed it – but the moment he realised it, everything broke down; shattered to pieces.
'It's too late.'
That phrase of Fran's was like the killing blow. Bel was blowing up his balloon of happiness and love, and when the balloon finally reached its maximum, perfect point… Fran popped it with the sharp strike of a nail, destroying everything. Then, the boy went off with Mukuro – probably living a happy and romantic life whilst Bel was left to suffer.
All of a sudden Bel felt like slicing right through that small, pale body of Fran's. Oh, how he should have done so much more than just a few slices that night. His rage was great, and Fran's betrayal was unforgivable. The prince could have used a wide variety of methods to make the kouhai feel his pain. He could have beaten the crap out of the body, break a few ribs, snap a few fingers, slit that throat, strangle him… there's so many things, so many choices… and since Bel was going to lose Fran anyway, he should've just raped the younger, right then and there. It would've been so easy – the young illusionist was in the perfect position, tied to a bed and weak from blood loss. Then why didn't Bel do it?
Bel couldn't find an answer to that. In fact, this was probably the thousandth time he had questioned himself the same question during the past month – and once again, he failed to find an answer - similarly to the other questions Bel kept asking himself. The prince had also tried searching for trails of Fran too, of course, but there were no evidence of him being anywhere. It was as if the illusionist had mysteriously disappeared altogether. Bel used Lussuria to call up every clinic and hospital, the prince confident that he had injured Fran enough that the kouhai would definitely need the help of a doctor, but every place refused to give any information, and that didn't help in the very least.
The prince slid the sleeve of his shirt up his arm and stared at the scars of his cuts along with the healing gashes. It was a scary sight – it looked like his flesh was torn up everywhere and there was no area where his skin actually looked un-damaged. Stitches became another part of his skin, and they were everywhere along with the bandages which were wrapped around him. Then, Bel stared at the scar on his wrist. It wasn't a scar from recent actions – but it was a scar from when Bel had sliced himself when he saw a Mammon look-alike. All of a sudden, Fran's words came back to his mind.
'Don't you ever do that again, Bel-senpai. You stupid, reckless, idiotic, fallen prince… do whatever you want, rip out whoever's organs, but don't you ever cut yourself again.'
The prince looked back at all the recent gashes on his arm.
The prince failed his kouhai once again…
But that froggy betrayed me. He failed me too.
And he made me become like this. I can't escape from it.
That feeling in my chest never left me alone… it's painful, even more painful than when I sliced my own flesh…
And it's all because of him. ALL BECAUSE OF HIM.
"Bel!" Squalo shouted his name in the prince's face as the swordsman gripped hold on his wrists. Bel looked at himself, and realised that in his hand was his knife – about to slice at his forearm. The prince didn't even realise that he was shaking – trembling ever so slightly but definitely causing enough movement to be noticed. Squalo quickly pulled the knife out of Bel's hands with his own gloved one before he pushed it into Bel's bag. Those blue eyes were practically glaring the life out of the prince. "Voi, snap out of it Bel! Stop trying to cut youself for gods' sake!"
Bel didn't reply. Squalo didn't understand how he felt, how could he say that? The feeling of realizing you love someone before they left you – it was one of the most torturous feelings in the world. The prince looked down, keeping his eyes locked on the floor, refusing to meet Squalo's glare.
The swordsman turned away in annoyance of the prince, but he still didn't let go of Bel's wrist. He was worried about this younger assassin, of course, but it was getting very irritating that Bel failed to realise that and kept on attempting to cut himself. Squalo was also mad that Bel lost who he was – that blood-obsessed, manic snickering prince had disappeared and Squalo didn't like that. The swordsman partly blamed Fran for it, for wrecking Bel like this, but he wasn't sure if it was his fault. Squalo didn't actually know what had happened – all he cared about was making the prince turn back into the person he used to be.
Xanxus might be able to do that.
Squalo sighed at the thought of his boss/lover.
A moment later, Lussuria was done checking in with their tickets and passport, and the three of them headed off to the gateway – Squalo having to literally drag Bel along with them. Lussuria managed to sneak Bel's knives and Squalo's sword through the security check and it didn't take long before they were all seated in the plane, ready for takeoff.
Bel was seated in between Lussuria and Squalo, and he wasn't very happy about it. He felt trapped and captured – there was no freedom whatsoever. The prince kept on fidgeting in his seat, feeling more uncomfortable by the second. By the time the plane took off, Bel felt as if something was pressuring him so much that he could barely stand it. He wanted to do something, but he didn't know what he was supposed to do. All his knives were taken away from him and were secured away from his reach… but Bel still secretly managed to keep a piece of wire. It didn't take long for Bel to decide on what to do – he needed relief, he needed to release it and the only way to do that was…
"Ah- Bel-chan!" Lussuria turned around just in time to see Bel wrapping a piece of wire around his neck, crossing it over and the front and holding it with his two hands. If Bel were to pull on those, it would definitely cut deep into his throat and would most likely strangle him to death.
Squalo turned as soon as he heard Lussuria too, and the swordsman acted fast. He quickly gripped hold of the wire and tried to take it away from Bel, who refused to let go of the wire until Squalo finally managed to pull it out of his hands, cutting the prince's skin. As soon as Squalo put the wire away as far from Bel as possible, he turned back around and wrapped his fingers around Bel's neck instead, in that strangling position. The swordsman was so mad.
"What the hell were you trying to do, Bel? Were you trying to get yourself killed?!" Squalo yelled at the prince, his hands starting to strangle Bel's neck, not caring at the staring eyes of other passengers. Lussuria tried to calm Squalo down, but he cut the Gaylord off even before he could open his mouth to speak. "If you are so desperate to die I can do that for you! I could kill you right here! Is that what you want?"
Bel stared at Squalo with wide eyes beneath his bangs. He didn't expect Squalo to be so mad, and it actually brought some sense back to him – like a wakeup call. He choked with Squalo's hands, but he managed to speak. "The prince didn't mean to kill himself."
"Oh yeah? Then what are all these scars?!" Squalo kept yelling at the prince. "You're not even yourself anymore! You're wrecked by that brat!" The swordsman slammed the prince against the back of his seat and Bel let out a strangled noise. However, those blue eyes of Squalo's were still glaring at him, and Bel couldn't hide away from it. "Right now, you're nothing more than trash, Bel," Squalo spoke with a low voice through gritted teeth. "You don't even deserve to be in the Varia."
That hit Bel hard. It was like cold water was splashed all over him. Squalo might as well just slap him across the face with that sentence. Lussuria silently lifted a hand to his mouth – what Squalo said was harsh, and it was one of the worst things which could be said to a Varia. It was a phrase which made Bel realise how far he had fallen and let himself be broken; and that was unlike him. Bel had lost himself and he had finally relised it. The prince looked down and his feet and stayed there, and for a moment everyone was silent, even the other passengers. Then all of suddenly, Bel's head snapped back up and he looked right into those blue eyes of Squalo's - Bel had decided.
I'll forget about him. I'll go back to being Prince the Ripper.
Froggy… that name does not exist in my life anymore.
And as soon as Bel decided, something happened to his mind. It was no longer depressed, and the prince felt freer than he ever did in the past month. He rose up his slightly bleeding hand and - still looking right into Squalo's eyes - Bel moved his hand close to his mouth and licked at his own blood. Squalo's eyes widened. After that, slowly, and to Squalo's and Lussuria's amazement, a wide smile crept up Bel's face, that spark of insanity shining through him once again.
And like a sound of a glass bell ringing, Bel snickered.
"Ushishishi… "
Light. White, bright light.
Fran slowly opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was that white ceiling he had become so familiar to. Then, those white walls, and then, that blood bag and that IV. Fran was in hospital. Again. For the fourth time in the past month.
First time, he attempted to commit suicide by slitting his wrist and letting the blood run in the shower. Fortunately, he was found by the maid who was delivering his breakfast and was brought to hospital. If he was found any later than that, he would've died. Fran was on the verge of death.
The second time, he tried the same method, but this time he let himself rest in a filled up bath tub. The water in the tub was bloody red by the time Mukuro found him – the illusionist just gathering enough energy and appearing in just the right moment. The doctor nearly couldn't save Fran, but finally managed to keep that heart beating. Mukuro was devastated.
The third time was a desperate struggle, Mukuro never left Fran alone after the he knew of the first and second attempt at suicide, and he hid away everything which could cut through skin. Fran found his way, however, and managed to force down his throat over 20 paracetamols in the short period of time that Mukuro went to the bathroom. It was a rather desperate attempt, and Fran should've known that Mukuro will eventually find him soon enough, but he did it anyway. Mukuro brought Fran to hospital and had the young illusionist's stomach washed out before that overdose could kill him.
But Mukuro couldn't be there forever… soon, his powers ran out and he had to go back and rest once again. The illusionist didn't leave Fran alone this time, however. He assigned one of his contacts to come and take care of Fran, but the young illusionist managed to sneak out of his locked room before that person came. Fran then chose to jump off the balcony. But fortunately, he also failed to take away his life with this method. As the illusionist scanned his body, he realised that he only managed to break his left leg and his right arm. The floor he was on was the third floor – it wasn't high enough to kill him, and he must've landed with a safe position.
Why is it so hard just to take away my life?
I don't want to live anymore… there's no point in staying here anymore…
Fran thought as he stared at the ceiling with his green eyes which had become so clouded the colour no longer seemed as bright as it was before. The illusionist really had lost the meaning in life, and he didn't feel like there was a reason in living any longer. Fran then looked around the room and noticed his clothes, folded up neatly, resting on the sofa on the side of his bed. On top of his clothes was also that frog-head-shaped hat, but it did looked off, like something had pushed in one of its sides or something.
Bel-senpai told me not to take it off…
Bel-senpai…
"Do you think he would attempt another suicide?" suddenly, a sweet yet sharp voice was heard through the door, interrupting Fran's thoughts before it was followed by another one.
"Yes, I do believe that is so. This is his fourth attempt now, and I strongly advise you to contact a psychologist."
"Hmmm… I'll think about that."
"Well, shall we go in?"
There weren't any more voices but the door clicked open. Fran didn't even bother to turn and see who it was. Soon, a young nurse walked up to him and smiled a warm sweet smile, but Fran knew what that smile was - it was sympathy; pity, even. "Good morning, I see you are awake now. How are you feeling?"
Fran didn't care to reply, he just looked at her face before he went back to staring at the ceiling, wondering how long it would be until he could finally walk and use his arms properly again. But then, that sharp sweet voice caught his attention. "Ne, you're Fran right?"
Fran turned to see a girl, probably older than him, looking at him. She was wearing the same uniform Fran remembered Chrome wore, but her skin was slightly healthier – not as pale as Chrome's. Her eyes were a brilliant, intense colour of purple and it sparked with determination. Her face, a typical girl's, was framed with bright red hair which length's was level with her mouth. She wasn't particularly pretty, but she gave off that vibe of confidence and a certain degree of bitchiness. The girl's aura was bright – something Fran lacked.
"Oi, answer the question." The girl spoke with a sharp voice, her purple eyes looking at Fran with distaste. When Fran still didn't reply she frowned, before she clicked her tongue in annoyance. "Tch, fine, brat. Be that way." She crossed her arms and looked away for a moment before she turned back around to look at Fran once again. "I'm M.M. okay? Mukuro-sama sent me to look after a suicidal brat like you."
M.M. ? Master sent her?
Fran observed the girl slightly, before he went back to staring at the ceiling. M.M. was pissed off by Fran's ignorance, but she didn't say anything else and walked off to sit on the sofa, crossing her legs. She sat there, glaring at Fran, but he didn't even notice her. His thoughts were on Mukuro and what he actually meant to him.
Mukuro was his illusion master, the one who taught him how to actually use his illusions properly and most convincingly. He was also the one who took care of him, and was the one who always appeared when he was in pain. Mukuro was the only person who was able to make the pain go away, even for a while. When Mukuro didn't leave Fran alone, the thoughts of suicide didn't even appear in his mind. But that little moment when Fran was left alone caused him to snap and suddenly force down the tablets of medicine. Fran did love Mukuro – he was one of the two people who were able to cause Fran to blush and feel that tiny swirl in his heart. But the love for his master was nothing compared to the love for Bel. Fran only realised that when he had lost the prince. He didn't know that the love for his senpai was so great to break him. Mukuro's love for him helped, but it wasn't enough to keep him going – especially that Mukuro couldn't be there all the time.
"Oi, brat, you know how lucky you are that you survived this time?" M.M.'s voice interrupted Fran's thoughts. "Your head was supposed to go CRACK on the concrete floor, but no~ you had that weird hat on and it protected you."
Fran looked at M.M. at that, before he finally spoke. "What do you mean?"
M.M. – smiling in satisfaction that she had caught Fran's attention – picked up the hat before he spoke. "Well, your head did hit the floor, but this hat acted like a helmet and kept your head in one place."
So that explains why it looks different.
Fran realised, before suddenly, another thought hit him.
Bel-senpai gave me that hat… it protected me…
"Hey, you look all suicidal again," M.M. observed, "Don't do all that crap again, Mukuro-sama was worried sick about you. It's making me jealous you got so much attention from him."
Fran glanced at the girl, before he nodded absently.
"But I guess you couldn't do much now with your arm and leg in a cast like that. Good. Save me some work from trying to keep you alive." M.M. continued. "Oh right, and Mukuro told me about your story, just so you know - and really, all this for a guy who abused you? Seems pretty stupid to me." Fran glared at her, but allowed her to continue. "I mean, hey, you're in love with him, but now you've got Mukuro-sama too, you know. It's not like I want you two to date or anything, but you should start thinking about how Mukuro-sama feels too. You already left the other one, so move on for god's sake."
Fran didn't like the tone of this girl at all, but a part of him knew she was speaking the truth – though not in a very nice way. He was being very selfish to his master, and Mukuro must've felt like nothing when he did all those suicide attempts. Fran knew Mukuro loved him, and to some extent he did love his master too. But when he compared that feeling to the feelings he felt with Bel…
"Yeah, so the other guy's like, your first love, right? Big deal. You're probably trying to forget him and everything, but you know what, that's just dumb because you could never forget your first love." Fran stared at M.M. – how did she know all about that? "Really, and all that effort you put into killing yourself? That's just stupid. Really stupid." Fran was about to bite back at the girl, but she gave him no chance to butt in. "You think you have no point in living anymore because you don't have the other person, right? But what about Mukuro-sama? He took you here and paid for you and took care of you and everything. You're just gonna throw all that away?"
The young illusionist was partly amazed at this girl. She was being arrogant and it was none of her business, but Fran could see that she was talking some sense into him, and all of a sudden he could feel himself almost agreeing with every point she made. M.M. seemed to be one of the bitchiest girls he ever met, but what she said was true. He was being stupid trying to kill himself like that – and he hardly cared about Mukuro at all. Now that he actually really thought about it, he could just imagine the look on Mukuro's face if he actually died and the guilt was starting to build up inside of Fran.
The young illusionist didn't even realise it when M.M. walked up close to his bed and looked into his eyes with those unblinking, brilliant purple ones. "Wake up, Fran. This is the real world – you lived without him before, so you could live without him now. " After she said that, M.M. bent over and picked up Fran's unbroken arm and pointed to his bandaged wrist – the place where he slit himself. "It's time you realise you can't escape by doing this; it isn't the end of the world, you have to get on with your life," Then, she pointed at the frog-head-shaped hat of Fran's she was still holding in her hand. "And get rid of what's weighing you down."
Fran stared at M.M., and suddenly, he regretted every attempt at suicide. His life could improve, and it was true – he lived without Bel-senpai before, so he could do it now. It was as if his world had just cleared up, and all that mess had fallen into place once again. The half of him which was lost still felt like it wasn't there, but Fran knew he could bring it back in time.
M.M. picked up a mirror, and put it in front of Fran. "Look at yourself. Is that person you?"
Fran did what she told him to, and what he saw shocked him. His face was so pale and looked so unhealthy it was as if he was dying. His lips were cracked and held no colour. He cheeks were flat and his cheekbones showed. His eyes were dull and those eyeballs bulged out from their sockets. His reflection looked so weak, so vulnerable and so breakable.
Who is that? Fran found himself wondering.
No. That isn't me.
The love for himself came back to Fran, and he realised that his life had more value than just to be thrown away like garbage just because of Bel. All of a sudden, he felt like something heavy was lifted off his chest and everything was better than before. It would be painful, but he would live on and finally become the person he used to be and even better.
That spark came back to Fran's emerald green eyes, and M.M. smiled when she saw the look on Fran's face. The look which was of a person who had a hope in living, a face of someone who was actually alive.
Mukuro-sama would be so proud of me.
Pain.
…soft but everlasting.
One Year Later
"VOIIII~!! Bel! Where the hell are you?!" Squalo's voice echoed through the Varia HQ as the swordsman paced quickly down the stairs.
"Ushishishishi~ Squalo~" Bel's child-like voice came from nowhere before suddenly, the prince jumped on Squalo, glomping the swordsman as he snickered and showed off his bright smile. "What's up?"
"Oi, get off me, brat!" Squalo yelled before he peeled the prince off him and dragged him over to the sofa. "I got you a new assignment. Boss gave it to me yesterday."
"Oh?" Bel cocked his head to one side, before he snickered with a blissful expression. "More killing for the prince I guess~"
Squalo sighed tiredly at the insanity of the younger assassin before he used the assignment pack to smack Bel's head – pretty hard – before he handed it to the prince. Bel snickered, receiving the pack without opening it. "Ushishi~ Thank you. And oh yeah, Squalo, Boss's looking for ya. You better go quickly, he looks rather… pissed."
"Boss?" Squalo sweat-dropped, before he quickly headed off to his boss's office, leaving Bel behind alone.
As Squalo made his way to the office, he thought about Bel and how much the prince had improved in the last year. Just only a year ago, the prince was cutting himself, being all depressed and wrecked by the hands of Fran – a young illusionist who replaced Mammon for a while. That person was now no longer a Varia, and nobody had the qualities to take the place of the Varia illusionist so far. But that didn't matter; the Varia could manage to do exceptionally well enough all alone. Prince the Ripper himself had become one hell of a better assassin since he overcame his phase of sadness – it took nearly seven months for Bel to fully recover, but he finally got there with the help of all the Varia - including being kicked around by Xanxus.
KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.
Squalo knocked loudly on the door to his boss's office, and the rough voice of Xanxus came from the other side.
"Come in, trash."
The Shark of Varia opened the door, and saw Xanxus sitting behind his office table, his legs rested on the table itself whilst he sipped at the wine in his glass. The expression on Xanxus's face was hard to read – it was neither angry like it always was, and it wasn't pissed off either. Squalo was a little intimidated. The anger and pissed-off one he was used to handling… but this expression was sort of... teasing as those blood-coloured eyes observed Squalo from head to toe. The swordsman felt like he was being undressed by those eyes, and he didn't like it.
"W-What do you want Boss?"
Oh damn it, why is my voice shaking?
Xanxus smiled, and Squalo felt creeped. It wasn't normal for Xanxus to smile. Something was up – and something not good for Squalo, judging by the look on that scarred face. The boss of Varia took another long sip of his wine before he slowly spoke. "I've been getting kind of bored with all these papers to sign…"
Squalo could feel himself panicking. "Uh… and what does that have to do with me?"
Xanxus sighed, before he moved his finger, signaling Squalo to come closer. As soon as the swordsman was close enough, the boss gripped hold of that black jacket and effortlessly pulled Squalo over the table and on top of him in mere seconds.
"Ah- boss?" Squalo breathed, feeling that hand going up the back of his shirt.
"Amuse me, trash." Xanxus murmured seductively before he pulled that head down and sealed his lips on Squalo's. The swordsman tried to struggle, but soon gave in to the boss's touch.
This is going to be a long day.
……………….
Outside of Xanxus's office, a certain prince was keeping in his snicker as he heard Squalo's moan. Bel smiled, thinking about how sweet Squalo could be when he's with the boss. After a while, the prince finally got bored of being able to hear but not see, and went back to his room instead. As soon as Bel was back in his room, he jumped onto the bed and laid there before he rolled around childishly, enjoying the luxury of his bed. Then, the prince saw the brown pack of his next assignment, and he decided to take a look at his next victim.
Those long fingers of the prince untied the pack and opened it before he pulled out the stack of paper inside. Then, the prince scanned the first page.
Name: Unknown.
Age: 18 (approximately)
Sex: Male
Last seen: Italy, Milan. 21st November.
History: An advanced illusionist who is an expert at disguise. He is able to trick even the sharpest eyes with his illusion - a dangerous one who threatens Vongole, and had murdered many of the other mafia leaders/families along with another strong unknown person.
Task: Kill OR Capture and make use of ability.
Bel snickered as he finished reading the first page. This assignment seemed to be rather a challenge for him – he had never been assigned to kill or capture and illusionist before, and not an advanced one at that. He glanced at the names of the Families and Family bosses which had been brought down because of this illusionist and his smile grew wider. This was a challenge, indeed.
The prince quickly read through all the other pages with detailed information about how this person attacks, and about his victims until finally he came to the last page which contained some photos which had been captured from surveillance cameras.
Then, Bel froze.
The person he saw through the black and white blurry photo was of a teenager who had pale hair framing his face in the length which was the same as someone in particular. That skin was pale, and that body was petite and thin with slender arms. The face was not seen, but Bel would recognize this person anywhere.
An illusionist in the age of 18.
His assignment… the person Bel had to face…
It was Fran.
"Here master," Fran spoke in mono-tone as he handed Mukuro a cup of coffee before he sat down next to his master, who was lying on the bed. The two of them had just finished their second murder in Milan, and Mukuro had succeeded once again in getting rid of a nasty mafia with the help of Fran, his apprentice.
"Thank you, little one," Mukuro smiled as he sat up and took a sip of the warm coffee, before he wrapped his arm around Fran's shoulder and pulled the younger illusionist in so that he was rested on his chest.
"You'll spill the coffee," Fran murmured mono-tonally.
Mukuro ignored the younger and planted a soft kiss on the top of his head. "It doesn't matter. I'm going to have to go back into that place again anyway, so I'd better make the best of it."
Fran looked at his master, who was looking at him with those meaningful mismatched eyes, and he sighed. "Okay fine, master."
As soon as Fran said that, Mukuro brought his lips down on Fran's, who allowed his tongue to slip in and steal that sweetness of his mouth. Mukuro tasted of sweet yet bitter coffee, and Fran let out a slight gasp when that gloved hand went up the front of his shirt.
"Nnnh- no master, I'm tired…" Fran murmured between the kisses.
Mukuro smiled. "Is that so? Then we'll stay with only kisses and embraces today."
Fran pulled away slightly as Mukuro's hands still roamed around his body underneath his shirt. "Your hands aren't saying that."
"Kufufu…" Mukuro chuckled, before he ran his hands through that pale hair. "Okay then, I understand." The older illusionist murmured before he wrapped his arms around that slim body, holding Fran against his chest lovingly.
Fran sighed, before he snuggled up to Mukuro. He had come to loving this person in the past year. Mukuro took such good care of him, and he found himself slowly feeling his heart beating once again. Even thought this love was not as strong as the first one, but it was love nonetheless. With Mukuro, Fran felt protected and safe, and there weren't any moments of insecurity or fear of being alone. Mukuro was always there for him when he could, and when he wasn't, M.M. kept Fran companied. The two had become somewhat friends, even though they bickered most of the time - M.M. with her bitchy comments and Fran with his deadpan insults. Mukuro felt like both an older brother and a caring lover. He was mature, and he taught Fran so many things. Fran both loved and respected him with his heart, even though he hardly showed it.
"Master…" Fran started, and Mukuro looked at him. "When you go back, could I stay in Milan for a while? I like it here."
Mukuro considered this before he nodded, "Yes, ofcourse. But do be careful, people will be hunting you out. Don't stay for too long, and you know you just need to call M.M. when you want to go back."
Fran nodded. "Okay, thank you, master." And as a little show of affection before Mukuro had to be gone in the morning, Fran wrapped his arms around his master's neck.
Mukuro smiled at that action, before he pulled the younger illusionist closer and murmured softly into that ear. "Goodnight, little one,"
"Goodnight, master." Fran replied in monotone, but his allowed himself to smile a little before he closed his eyes.
As the two illusionists drifted off into sleep, Fran had a dream about Bel.
It had been months since he had dreamt about the prince, and the dream wasn't particularly a good one. In fact, it could be called a nightmare even.
In his dreams, Bel was all around him, so many princes all smiling freakily with knives gleaming dangerously in their hands. Then, they all snickered at the same time as they drove their knives at Fran's heart, all speaking in unison. That child-like sing-song voice haunted him and echoed spookily, the voices overlapping each other…
'Froggy~'
Fran woke up screaming.
Ahh… nearly didn't make it in time ^^;; Phew! One of the longest chapters in here~ And it was very enjoyable to write as well ^_^ I just want to tell you that next week's update will be 1-3 days late as I will be out of town and away from all internet connection. But I promise I would update ASAP.
Also, since you guys have been so great in giving me over 100 reviews, I would like to do something for you~ I will write a one-shot, and you guys can vote on the pairing~ It would not relate to this fic in any way and it could be any pairing AT ALL, with the exception of 8059 (since that will be written very soon) and Bel x Fran.
Please review~! And see you in the next update~! ^_^