Author's Notes

Well hello there. Glad to see you all back at this little piece of madness that continues to pour out of my head.

First of all I have to shout out to my girls at UU on Ravelry – you chicas give me happy face.

Enormous international hugs to my Sooper Secrit Fiance, Beta, friend and all-round cool babe – Catty-Wan.

To all my awesome reviewers, particular the high priestess of all things good, Hawk, you complete me.

Disclaimer: SM owns these characters. I own even more underwear than I did last chapter – but in my defense, it was on special...and very pretty...and it called me by name. *Shit, I seriously think I've developed a panty addiction.*

Enjoy!

Chapter 12 – Giney & Godzy's Big Day Out

BPOV

Edward rolled off me and we both gasped for air.

Damn, this has to stop. We haven't left this room for four hours, we've eaten all the snacks Alice supplied, we've been drinking water from the bathroom tap to stay hydrated and, well, we were nearly out of condoms.

Edward got out of bed and made his umpteenth trip to the bathroom to dispose of the condom.

Note to self: personally dispose of contents of bathroom trash to avoid hotel staff thinking I have been up here tonight with every single one of the New York Yankees...and their friends.

Edward jumped back onto the bed and sighed, placing his hands behind his head. I looked over at the sex God beside me. Sweet Jesus. I will never get tired of looking at his magnificent body. The way his arms were bent forced his biceps to bulge impressively. His gorgeous pecs sat there, taunting me with their muscly hardness. He panted lightly, and I watched in fascination as his rocking abs inflated and contracted. Pure magic.

He looked over at me and smiled. "How's Giney doing?" He had named my vagina.

Giney, as he affectionately called her, was actually getting a little sore. I shrugged at him. "She's a little freaked out that Godzilla seems to be completely obsessed with her, actually." I had named his cock also.

He frowned. "Godzilla is NOT obsessed with her. He is just the right amount of...sessed, thank you very much."

"Oh really?" I challenged. I bent over his cock and spoke directly to it. "Godzy? What would you do if I said the word...pussy?" Godzy perked up his ears. Edward rolled his eyes. "What about...tight, wet pussy?" He stiffened noticeably and tried to look me in the eye. "Godzilla..." I said patiently, "what would you do if I said 'fucking tight, wet pussy clenching hard around you, you goddamn sex-beast of a cock!!?" Edward growled as Godzilla lunged for Giney. I stood up quickly and held out my hand. "Oh, no you don't!" I yelled. "I think Godzy needs a time-out don't you Cullen? He is clearly out of control!"

Edward made a snarling noise deep in his chest and Giney immediately phoned Godzy to tell him she'd be right over. "I haven't heard Giney complain about him before now," he growled sexily.

I swallowed, hard. "Well, no, you wouldn't," I said, trying to maintain control. "She's shy, and wouldn't want to hurt his feelings."

He laughed sarcastically. "Giney? Shy? Jesus, Swan, she's practically raped him...several times! If anyone should be feeling weird, it should be him." He reached down and stroked his fully-erect cock lovingly. "It's ok, buddy," he breathed. "Don't let her get to you."

Oh, fuck me dead. He's touching himself. Jesus!

I watched in awe as his pecs and biceps tensed and contracted. He noticed my eyes darken and my breathing speed up. He smiled, and Giney went berserk.

I pulled a chair over, close to him and sat down, never letting my eyes leave the glory of Edward stroking himself. I scooted down in the chair and spread my legs, and whimpered slightly as I ran a hand down to my now wet folds. Edward moaned and leaned back on one hand, keeping the other one firmly grasped around his cock.

As I watched him I matched my pace to his, stroking when he stroked, pausing when he paused. His dark eyes burned into mine and I memorized every exquisite emotion that passed across his face.

Knowing that I was missing a spectacle of epic proportions, I dragged my gaze away from his face and stared dumbly at his lap as he masturbated. Ahhhh...Edward's perfect right hand – was there more glorious example of finely crafted, yet masculine hands, anywhere on the planet? His magnificent cock – perfect in every way. It was as if an erotic artist had rendered the penis that all others should be measured by. I truly pitied the men who witnessed the glory of Godzilla. They would never feel adequate again.

Add those two unbelievable elements together, and you got what was currently sitting before me. Edward's long fingers wrapped around his thick hardness, beautifully. The muscles in his forearm and bicep were engorged, and he firmly stroked himself fully, up and down his impressive length. Incredible. I took a mental Polaroid and filed it away in my brain. I was never an overly religious person, but this man, those hands and that cock, did not fucking happen by accident.

"Good job, God," I whispered, as I ground my fingers into my clit. My center began to throb with pleasure.

Edward inclined his head to me and frowned, continuing his ridiculously hot strokage. "Did you say something, baby?" he breathed raggedly.

"Just thinking about how perfect you are," I panted as I rubbed myself harder. He smiled, and my breathing hitched when I saw the love in his eyes.

Memo to God – Dear Deity, I don't know why you have suddenly decided to shower me with an embarrassment of riches, but I promise to always be grateful. Please witness how reverently I will be screaming your name in the VERY near future.

Soon we were both breathing heavily and moaning in unison.

"Bella...seeing you touch yourself...Christ...it's the most arousing thing I've ever seen."

"Jesus, Edward, you have no idea how incredible you look...your hand around your cock is just...supremely fucking hot."

Our speed picked up and I felt electrical pulses start firing inside me. "Oh, Edward. I'm so close...are you close too?"

He closed his eyes and grimaced. "Yes Bella, God...so close. Talk to me baby, please."

I rubbed my clit harder and my toes curled as my orgasm started to crash through me. "OH GOD...YES! EDWARD, I'M CUMMING! GOD, YES! CUM WITH ME BABY...PLEASE!!"

He threw his head back and bellowed with ecstasy. "FUCK...ME! YES, BELLA...I'M CUMMING BABY! GOD, YES!!"

I watched in awe as his cum shot out of him. My own orgasm gave a final kick, thrilling at watching him spurt, and then started to abate. We both panted heavily and looked at each other with love-heavy eyes. Every part of me ached with pleasure, but I knew that I couldn't take much more.

"We REALLY need to leave this room, now," I said, breathlessly.

"You know what Swan?" he said, panting. "For once, I agree with you."

***

EPOV

Because of our complete inability to control ourselves around each other, we both agreed that we should shower separately, and by the time I emerged in my towel, Bella was already wrapped in a huge fluffy robe. I died a little bit when I saw her complete lack of nakedness.

Before she knew I was there, I saw her reach out and touch the huge cream-coloured dildo Alice had decided to includein her 'care package'. I stopped breathing as I watched her fingers graze gently over the latex length. I could feel my towel start to lift as my cock filled with blood for the innumerable time today.

Jesus. Surely it's not normal how intensely and CONSISTENTLY this woman can affect me.

I've never experienced anything like it, and although I wasn't exactly complaining, I wondered if the willingness of my cock to stand at attention, every time she even thought about sex, was going to bite-me in the ass eventually.

I reached down and rubbed myself through my towel. How is it possible that I have any semen left for God's sake. I can't even remember how many times I've cum tonight. That's a shit-load of spurting quite frankly.

Bella picked up the dildo and brought it up to her face for closer inspection. Christ, that thing is huge. Is that really what women want, just an enormous cock to pound into them? I pulled the towel from my hips, needing to give myself more...intimate attention, as I watched Bella run her hand over the soft plastic. I started to pump my hand faster, unable to control my lust around this extraordinary woman. I felt my release building and I couldn't help a low groan escaping my lips.

Bella spun her head to me. Her eyes widened as she saw what my hand was doing. I pumped faster, aroused even further by her look of lust. My knees were starting to weaken, but I couldn't stop, I was too close now.

Bella took in a ragged breath. "Cullen...you know I was joking before when I said you had sexual-superpowers, right?"

I nodded, unable to actually form words.

She walked over to me slowly, and my eyes raked over her hungrily. "Well, I'm now starting to think that I was right. You are superhuman. After everything we've done to each other tonight, the number of times we have made each other cum, you still have the stamina to stand there and fuck the hell out of yourself with your hand."

I groaned and closed my eyes. Her words washed over me like a giant tongue. "Ungh...Bella...please...keep talking." My balls started to tighten. I wouldn't last much longer.

"Edward," she breathed as she stood in front of me and started trailing her fingertips over my naked chest, "if there was a sexual Olympics, you would be the goddamn world champion. You are incredible. Your body is incredible. Your gorgeous, perfect, fucking huge cock is INCREDIBLE!!"

I roared her name as my orgasm ripped through me. "BELLA...OH, YES...BELLA...I LOVE YOU, BABY!"

I swayed slightly as the last of the tremors left my body. Bella picked up my towel and quickly cleaned me up, then she put her arms around me, and I buried my face in her delicious neck. "Bella..." I panted heavily, "the only reason you think I have superhuman stamina is because my body is completely out of control around you. I think...I think there may be something wrong with me."

She pulled my face to hers and kissed me gently. "Sweet boy," she breathed as she smoothed the frown on my face, "if this is you being wrong, I don't EVER want you to be right." She kissed me again and I sighed into her mouth.

When she pulled back I noticed she was still holding the dildo. I chuckled. "What is it about that thing that fascinates you anyway?"

She blushed slightly and my smile widened. God, I love it when she blushes. "Well...I...um...was kind of wondering how they did it?"

My brows furrowed. I looked at the ridiculously large fake-cock and said, "Did what, baby?"

She exhaled and an adorable look of embarrassment crossed her face. "I wondered how they snuck in to your bedroom one night, and took a mold of your perfect cock without waking you."

I gaped. I looked at the enormous thing in her hands. "Bella..." I sputtered, "how could you possibly think that...thing...looks anything like me. It's fucking massive."

Her eyes darkened immediately. "Edward," she said seductively, "I hate to break it to you honey, but THIS..." She held the thing up in front of me, "...is pretty much exactly the same size as you."

My mind boggled. "No...I can't be that...that thing would fucking hurt...wouldn't it?"

She smiled the sexiest damn smile I had ever seen, and all of a sudden Godzilla roared back to life. "Did it seem like I was in pain, baby?" She looked down and grazed her fingers over my rapidly hardening length. "Unbelievable," she breathed softly.

She quickly turned and threw the dildo on the bed. She swung open the bedroom door and called over her shoulder, "Now get some clothes on you freak of nature, I seriously need to eat something with a slightly higher nutritional value than your gorgeous cock."

I looked down at my now throbbing erection, then over to the door. I groaned and lay down on the bed as I grabbed myself and began to pump furiously. "Be right there!" I yelled, as I pounded myself into oblivion.

***

An hour later we both lay on the couch, unable to move or speak. It was 5.00am. We had pretty much consumed every item off the room service menu. Our bodies were exhausted and our stomachs were bloated. I heard Bella snuffle into my chest and I knew she was almost asleep. Carefully, I lifted her and stood up, walking slowly back into the room of heavenly pleasures.

As I stepped inside the door, I looked around. The floor was strewn with destroyed condom wrappers and ripped clothing. Empty snack packets lay discarded beside the bed, and various towels lay crumpled on the floor.

Jesus. It looked like a sexual war-zone, and we hadbothwon.

Bella sighed gently and snaked her arm around my neck, stroking my hair. I bent down and kissed her sweet mouth, trying desperately not to awaken Godzilla, who had finally succumbed to complete exhaustion. I laid her gently on the bed and crawled in beside her, pulling her to my chest and wrapping her in my arms. I stroked her hair and she murmured contentedly.

"Edward," she said, her voice drowsy, "thank you. For everything."

Emotion rose in my throat and I had to force back the sudden moisture that appeared in my eyes.

Why was she thanking me? When I had met her I was a complete mess - fighting addictions, frightened of young girls. She had calmed me down AND made me come alive in one fell swoop. She was the best thing that had ever happened to me. How did she not KNOW that?

"Bella," I said, my voice thick with everything this amazing woman had brought into my life, "you have nothing to thank me for."

She raised her head slightly and looked into my eyes. "Edward, I know you know a bit about how my life was...before you invaded my alley that night and turned my world upside down, but you don't know everything." She looked down. "I never want you to know everything...but I am eternally grateful that it is all behind me."

I lifted her chin with my hand. "Bella, there is nothing...NOTHING...that you could have possibly done that would ever make me love you any less." I saw a haunted sadness flicker behind her eyes, and I knew that she didn't believe me. She lay back down onto my chest and I continued stroking her hair. "Bella," I began carefully, "have you ever...contacted Renee...since you left home?" I felt her stiffen in my arms.

"No."

Ok Cullen, take it slow. This is a really bad idea.

"Not even to tell her you were ok?"

"No."

Alright, drop it. She obviously doesn't want to talk about it.

"Why not?" Fine, don't listen to me, idiot.

She sighed heavily. I pulled away so I could look down at her. She wasn't happy.

"Why should I, Edward?" she spat. "She threw ME out, remember? She chose a violent, alcoholic, psychopath over her own daughter, remember?! She LET HIM beat me for years!" Fire blazed in her eyes and I knew this conversation was over. "What exactly do you think I owe her, Edward?" She looked at me intensely, and I once again had the overwhelming desire to hunt down Phil and hurt him in every way I could think of, and if Renee happened to be there, God knows what I would do to her. The madman had been conspicuously absent for most of the night, but now, knowing how much my Bella had been tortured by these two, he rumbled around in my brain, flexing his muscles and aching for revenge.

I exhaled and tried to calm down. "I'm sorry, baby," I breathed as I pulled her to me. "I was just...curious...that's all."

She sighed and brought her hand up to my face, and when she looked up at me, I forgot how to breathe. The fire was still in her eyes, but it was dwarfed by the immense love I saw there. "No, Edward...I'm sorry. Jesus, I just don't seem to be able to even think about Renee and Phil without flashing back to the night I left. I guess I still have some stuff there that I need to deal with."

I kissed her, drinking in her beautiful scent. Maybe Jasper could help her. She snuggled back into my chest and sighed. Well, that's another conversation for another time.

"Sleep, baby," I urged. "Alice will be home soon, and we have a flight to catch this afternoon."

She groaned slightly. "Do we have to leave this room?" she whined. "It's our magical love cave..."

I chuckled. "Bella, I promise you, I will make a magical love cave just like this back in LA."

"With condom wrappers?"

"With condom wrappers."

"And ripped clothing?"

"I'll rip every piece of clothing off your body, if that would make you happy."

She whimpered. "Sssshhh!" she said urgently. "Giney is almost asleep! You can't say shit like that or she'll jump Godzilla's bones and we'll be back to square one." At the sound of his name Godzilla stirred slightly. I grimaced and tried desperately to calm him down.

"Good night, Edward," she sighed as she pulled me close. "I love you."

"Good night, Bella," I sighed back. "Sweet dreams, baby."

***

BPOV

It was 11.30am. Edward and I had awakened about an hour ago and showered and packed, ready for our flight. Alice still hadn't come back and I was starting to get worried. Edward was dozing on the couch, so I decided to go down to the lobby to see what I could find out.

As the elevator doors opened, I could hear a loud commotion. I rounded the corner to see a huge crowd of people milling around the reception area, chattering excitedly. Wait, not people – men - and not ordinary men either. They were the most chiseled, buff and hairless group of men I had ever seen. I frowned in confusion.

"Look, we KNOW he's here ok? We just want the opportunity to say 'HI!'"

It was then that I noticed the tiny black-headed dynamo amongst the throng. ALICE!! I raced over to her and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned quickly, and seeing me, threw herself into my arms.

"Oh Christ, Bella, thank God you're here!" She squeezed me tightly and drew me away from the crowd. "This place has been insanity since I came down last night."

I gaped at her. "Alice, you haven't been in this lobby all night, have you?" She sighed and nodded. "What the hell for?"

Sudden anger flashed over her face and she brought forward a magazine she was holding. "Because my darling dumbfuck of a brother decided that last night would be the perfect time to get caught apparently giving one of the world's most popular movie stars a goddamn blow-job in an alley!"

She thrust the magazine at me and I gasped. The front page had a series of photos of Edward and Rob. The first one showed Edward kneeling in front of Rob. His hands seemed to be on his cock, and his mouth was open.

OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK!

My brain went ballistic, desperately trying to comprehend what it was seeing. The other photos were more of the same, but with dawning horror lighting on Rob and Edward's faces as they realized they were being photographed.

Alice sighed angrily. "It all over the fucking press. TMZ picked it up first, and within hours Perez Hilton had posted the pics, and this morning, every trash-mag in the country is running it as their front page story. Christ, Edward is such an idiot!" She gestured to the growing crowd. "Now, every gay man in New York wants to have a chance to woo the 'outed' Edward Cullen, and the paparazzi are lined up around the block."

I barely heard her. I was still staring at the pictures, unable to tear myself away. My brain gave up trying to comprehend them and went straight to fuming over them.

What the hell IS this?

Hmmm...it looks like two very sexy boys having a gay old time together, wouldn't you say?

But that can't be right...

Why not? Think about it. Edward is gorgeous, has a perfect physique, has great taste in clothes, and knows all the words to 'Papa, Can You Hear Me?' by Barbra Streisand. I don't know why we didn't realize he was gay before now...

HE'S NOT GAY!! Were you not present for the frigging fantastic fuck-fest that we've been involved in for the past few hours?!! There is no way on God's clean, lovely earth that Edward, Jedi-Master-of-sex - a man who has made us cum in every way imaginable - is fucking GAY!!

Yeah he is. He's a queer, gay, butt-stuffing ass-bandit.

SHUT UP!!

I put my hand in my hair and pulled hard, just to make sure I wasn't actually having a nightmare. The extreme pain told me that, unfortunately, I wasn't. I turned back to Alice to ask her what the hell was going on when I heard a huge uproar in the crowd. I haven't actually heard grown men scream like girls before. It was very off-putting.

I looked over to the noise and saw Rob push through the crowd, desperately trying to get to us.

"Bella! Alice! Christ, what a fucking nightmare!"

I scoffed. "If only."

A small group of reporters pushed to the front of the crowd and yelled at Rob.

"Robert! When did you and Edward Cullen start this relationship?"

"Are you two dating, or was it just a one night stand?"

"How did you meet? Are you here to see him now?"

Alice held up her hands and yelled. "Alright, just settle down, ok?! As I have been saying ALL NIGHT - these pictures are NOT what they seem. The whole thing has been completely blown out of proportion!" She pulled Rob forward. "If you don't believe me, then ask Robert himself."

The crowd hushed as they waited for Rob to speak. He swallowed uncomfortably. "Um...right...well...you see, last night, we were running away from...um...some fans." He looked around nervously at Alice and I. Alice urged him to continue. He leaned down to whisper to her. "Alice! I can't tell this story. I'd look like a complete pussy. I'd rather everyone thinks I'm gay. Then at least the screamers might leave me alone."

Alice glowered at him dangerously. "Pattinson," she seethed, "either you set these people straight, or, believe me when I say, I will end you."

Rob's eyes flashed. "Fuck me, shorty," he breathed, "you're a little firecracker when you're angry aren't you?" He cracked a crooked smile at her and I could almost see the steam coming out of her ears. Rob turned back to the waiting crowd.

"Look," he said loudly, "all I can say is that, despite what these pictures seem to say, Edward Cullen was NOT blowing me in a back alley, ok? Edward is a wonderful, talented man, for whom I have the utmost respect...and I would NEVER ask him to blow me in such a seedy location." Fast as lightning Alice's hand whipped out and grabbed Pattinson's ear. "OW! Fuck! Alice!! Let GO!" She roughly dragged him to the elevator and I followed mutely behind.

When we got back up to the apartment, Alice shoved Rob into a chair and ordered him not to move. He looked terrified and just a bit turned-on by dominator-Alice. He rubbed his now swollen ear.

Edward was still snoring softly, completely oblivious to the uproar that was happening below. Alice

strode over to him and lowered her mouth to his ear. I cringed in anticipation.

"WAKE-UP, COCKSUCKER!!" she bellowed at the top of her lungs.

Edward exploded off the couch, lurching around like a prize-fighter who'd just had the shit beaten out of him. "What?" he said drowsily. "Who died, what's wrong." He finally focused on the thunder-cloud that was Alice's face. "Uh-oh," he said under his breath.

Alice started towards him. He retreated. "So, Edward," she said sarcastically, "when exactly were you going to tell me about you and lover-boy here, hmmm?" He ducked behind the couch. She followed. "Did it not enter your TINY, PEA-SIZED brain, that if you had TOLD me, I may have been able to diffuse this whole fucked-up situation BEFORE the shit hit the fan!!?"

"Alice...I.."

"'DON'T YOU FUCKING 'ALICE...I...' ME, EDWARD ANTHONY CULLEN!!! There is a mardi gras of gay men waiting downstairs to pound your precious asshole into oblivion, so you and the annoyingly hot Brit had BETTER START TALKING!!"

Rob sat up straight in his chair. "You think I'm hot?" he asked mildly.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, PATTINSON!!" Alice screamed. She was starting to hyperventilate. I grabbed her and pulled her onto the couch with me. I held her hand and rubbed it gently. Edward looked at me. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Well, Edward," I said, venom dripping from my tongue. "You heard your sister. Start...talking."

***

EPOV

I took a deep breath and did my best to explain the bizarre, but completely blow-job free circumstances that led to what Alice was now calling "Edward and Rob's Royal Fuck-up". I watched Bella carefully while I talked, desperate for her to understand that the pictures showed nothing but two heterosexual men in a really unfortunate position. I saw the inferno behind her eyes fade as I spoke, and I thanked God that she believed me.

As I spoke about The Screamers, I noticed Rob put his head in his hands and break into a light sweat. He pulled out his cigarettes, but quickly put them away again when Alice inferred that she would rip his dick off if he lit up.

As I finished, Alice stood up and started pacing. "So...let me get this straight...you two GROWN MEN - both of you packing decent muscles and standing around six foot two – ran away from TWO teenage girls and hid, like the enormous pussies you are, behind a dumpster?"

Rob ran his fingers through his hair. "Well, when you put it like that, shorty, it sounds pretty appalling." Alice glared viciously at him. "See, Alice, I really think the gay angle is more flattering for us." She upped her intensity. He made a small strangled noise and sank back into his chair. She advanced on him.

"Pattinson, I expect this level of fuck-uppery from my brother, it's one of his many talents," - Bitch - "....but you? How on earth have you managed to carve out a career for yourself while being a completely clueless dumbfuck?"

Rob shrugged and sighed. "It hasn't been easy, love."

Alice huffed a frustrated sigh. "I really don't know what the fuck to do with you two. I'm so angry with you both, I can't even speak anymore." She flopped down onto the couch and put her head in her hands. I felt like a piece of shit.

You should have told her, Cullen.

I know.

She would have bitch-slapped you but at least she wouldn't have been blind-sided.

I know.

Despite the fact that she constantly breaks your balls, most of the time she does it for your own good.

I fucking know, alright!

I walked over to Alice and pulled her up into my arms. She resisted at first, but eventually she wrapped herself around me and squeezed. "Alice," I wheezed, "just a little too tight, sweetie."

She squeezed tighter. "I know." I closed my eyes as my lungs screamed for air. How the fuck is such a tiny woman so strong? She finally let go and the air rushed into my lungs.

I gasped as I looked down at my sweet, infuriating sister, and she smiled at me like an angel. God, I loved her, and I really didn't deserve her. "Alice, I'm sorry," I puffed. "I should have told you." She looked up at me and sighed.

"Yeah, you should have," she said resignedly, and kissed my cheek.

Rob walked over to us. "Um....Alice, I'm sorry too. Can I get in on some of the kissing action?" Alice laughed and punched him in the arm. He cringed and yelped. "OW! Jesus, woman, don't bruise the merchandise!"

Bella stood up and walked over to us. "Yeah Alice," she said with a smile, "the boys downstairs will want their meat fresh and unblemished."

Rob glared at her. "You're not funny, Swan."

She ruffled his hair playfully. "Yeah, I am, Pattsy." She came over to me and put her arms around my neck. I immediately felt all the tension leave my body as this incredible woman – MY woman – looked at me with love in her eyes. "Honey," she breathed, "I don't care if you do like punching the chocolate starfish, I still love you."

I pulled her roughly against me. "You know what Swan?" I said, trying to suppress my smile and my erection, "Rob's right. You're really not funny."

She giggled and I kissed her delicious mouth. Rob coughed loudly, and we broke apart. "Christ you two, get a room!"

"Pattinson," Bella laughed, "this IS our room."

He raised his eyebrows and looked around, then shrugged and sat back down in his chair. "Oh...well...carry on then." He leaned back and mimed eating popcorn.

We all cracked up at that, only stopping when Alice brought us back to our dilemma.

"All right you guys," she laughed, "this is all well and good, but we still have the small problem that most of the world now thinks you two pretty-boys are gay. Now, personally, I don't give a shit, but realistically, especially for you Edward, the majority of your fans buy your crap because they think you're a hetero-hottie."

I bristled slightly. "Alice, don't you think it's possible they buy my so-called crap because they actually like my music?"

Alice scoffed. "Edward, I love your music honey, it's fabulous. But do you really think you'd sell as many albums if you didn't look like you do, and the screamers didn't think they actually had a chance to bone you?" I groaned loudly.

Rob stood up and went over to Alice. "Look, why don't we just ignore the whole thing and hope it goes away. I mean, if we come out with our denial guns a-blazing, people will just think we're hiding something, right, so what's the point? People can make up their own minds about us. I really don't care what they think."

Alice ignored him. "Edward, you are going to lose a whole packet of screamers if you don't do something about this."

Bella stroked my hand, feeling my tension. She turned to Alice, an idea dawning on her face. "Alice, do you think that the fans he may lose MIGHT be balanced by the new gay fans he will gain?"

Alice crossed her arms and thought about it. "Hmmmm....perhaps. It's hard to tell."

Bella looked at me. "Well then is there any point making more out of this than we need to?"

I saw relief pour onto Rob's face. "Thank you, Swan, for agreeing with me," he breathed. "There's NO point in denying it, just let people make up their own minds and move on."

I could see the wheels in Alice's mind turning as she said, "Bella, are you suggesting we don't try and deny this, and just let people make up their own minds?"

Rob huffed. "Am I fucking invisible? Didn't I just say that?"

Alice patted Bella's shoulder. "Good idea, honey."

Rob rolled his eyes. "It was MY idea," he cried petulantly.

"Ok listen up," Alice said decisively, "I'll go back down there...I'll reiterate that the photos have been taken out of context....blah, blah, blah...and we never speak of it again." She turned to leave. Rob huffed again and began an epic sulk.

Alice turned to him and beckoned him with her finger. "Pattinson, come."

He blushed and sprang out of his chair, following closely behind her. "I fucking love it when you tell me what to do, shorty."

I saw Alice's evil grin. "Get used to it." She opened the door and turned back to us. "You two - get your crap together and I'll meet you downstairs in fifteen minutes. I have a limoorganized to take us to the airport, and then we'll get back to LA and face the mayhem there." The door closed, leaving Bella and I alone.

I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her against my body. I instantly became hard and I saw her eyes widen. "Bella, are we ok?" I asked gently.

She traced her fingertips over my jaw and I sighed deeply. "Yes, Asstard, we're ok." She took a deep breath. "When I first saw those photos I thought I had landed in BizarroWorld, but I have to say, I also found the image of you and Rob together...um...kind of hot."

I laughed and cupped her face in my hands. "Swan, if you're suggesting that you and I and the Brit should have a threesome, the answer is 'no fucking way'. You're mine now, and I don't share." I suckled the delicate flesh of her throat, and she whimpered softly as she wound her fingers through my hair. God, I love it when she does that.

"I don't want to be shared," she breathed sexily, "I just want you...always." I came back to her mouth and she kissed me with fierce intensity. I reached down and grabbed her delectable ass, lifting her up to my waist. She wrapped her legs around me and I strode quickly into the bedroom and slammed the door.

"So," I said, breathlessly, as I bent my head to ravage her breasts, "fifteen minutes?"

She ripped my shirt off and started on my jeans. "More like twelve now," she panted.

I undressed her in record time and threw her on the bed. "Plenty of time."

***

Chapter End Notes

So you know the drill peeps – if you're feeling the love, send it my way and the next chapter gets pumped out faster.

*snort* Sorry, can't say the word "pumped" without thinking of Edward's hand around his...um...ahem...well....gotta go...um...yeah. Bye. *Slaps forehead* Sheesh, stop talking. Everyone will think you're a fucking pervert. *Slinks into the bathroom and shuts the door*