For the Love of Emmett

Chapter 12—Too Late

I love him.

Even more terrifying was the thought that immediately followed.

What the hell do I do now?

*****

Bella froze inside the doorway, paralyzed with shock over her realization. The shuffling of students entering snapped her out of her daze, reminding her that she still hadn't moved. Slowly, she walked to her seat, keeping a watchful eye out for tripping hazards that tended to appear whenever she was inattentive. Sitting down, she pondered her new insight.

I love him. I am in love with Edward. Now what? He hates me. He won't even talk to me. It's useless; I'm too late. She peeked over her shoulder at him and saw him lost in thought as the teacher droned on. He looked achingly beautiful to her. How could I have not seen it before? Taking a shaky breath, she turned towards the front again. I have to make it up to him. I don't know how, but I have to do something.

Edward noticed Bella's glance towards him as he ignored her. As usual, his pulse jumped whenever she looked at him. He wondered if her influence over him would ever go away. Then he wondered if he even wanted it to. What do you mean you wonder if you want her influence on you to fade? Of course you want it to go away! What kind of masochistic moron are you? Despite his protests, his body would not obey his mind, and his heartbeat stuttered again a few minutes later when she looked towards him again, this time under the guise of retrieving something from her bag. Again he outwardly ignored her, but he was acutely aware of her every movement, watching her from his periphery.

He was so caught up in trying not to notice her that he failed to notice that the bell had rung until he saw students filing out the door. Grabbing his bag, he started following his peers when a small voice behind him halted his feet.

"Edward?" Her voice was tiny, so quiet that he could have pretended he hadn't heard her. When he didn't move, she continued.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry," her voice broke.

Her words ignited something inside him. Whirling around angrily, he glared at her, barely registering that they were now left alone in the classroom.

"You're sorry? Huh, let me think of the last time I heard you say that. Oh that's right, you said it after you freaking said my BROTHER'S name! When you were kissing ME! Gee, Bella, I wonder what you have to be sorry for."

For a moment, she was shocked. This was not the kind of behavior she was accustomed to see from Edward. With his blazing eyes, he seemed almost frightening. Pausing, she took a moment to regroup before continuing with what she knew she had to say.

"I know. I know I was an idiot. You didn't deserve what I did to you, and I'm so sorry that it happened." Her voice began to grow a little stronger through her admission.

Edward growled at her. "Damn right you were an idiot. And no, I didn't deserve what you did to me. Nice of you to finally realize that fact."

"I know you didn't. I didn't want to hurt you, Edward. Please believe me, that was not my intent."

"What did you think was going to happen? That I'd just hand you over to Emmett and we'd all live happily ever after?" he snapped at her.

"I don't know," she huffed, exasperated at herself. "I don't know what I expected to happen. All I know is that I didn't want to hurt you." Tears were now streaming down her cheeks, and Edward felt himself unwillingly softening slightly. A tense pause settled on them as he watched her, gauging the truth of her statement.

"Well, you did," he whispered.

Turning around, he walked out the door, leaving her to crumble into the nearest chair and dissolve into tears.

It was not until the bell rang that she realized where she was. Slapping the tears away from her face, she stumbled toward the parking lot. Slumping into the driver's seat, she attempted to regain enough control over herself so that she could drive home.

Pulling into her driveway a quarter hour later, she noted disinterestedly that her father's car was parked outside. Must be here for his lunch break. Hearing the front door close behind her, her father's voice called out from the kitchen.

"Bella? Is that you?"

Bella peeked into the kitchen, where he was busy making himself a sandwich.

"Yeah, it's me. I wasn't feeling well, so I came home early."

Not looking up, he grunted and continued his food preparation. Sighing, she turned and trudged to her room. She hadn't really been expecting a reaction from him, but still, his indifference hurt. What kind of a parent doesn't even raise an eyebrow when his only child comes home early from school claiming to be sick? Mine, apparently.

Flopping down on her bed, she stared at the ceiling for what seemed to be only a few minutes until her phone began ringing, pulling her back to the world of the living.

Unsurprisingly, it was Alice. Answering her call, she was immediately grilled for information about why she had skipped her last two classes. With a little prodding, Bella responded by telling about her revelation and her unsuccessful interaction with Edward after class.

When she finished, Alice was silent for a moment. With effort, she restrained herself from chanting 'I told you so!' when Bella confessed to being in love, knowing that it would be incredibly unhelpful to do so. Instead, she prodded her for more information until she was satisfied that she had been told every word and every nuance of their conversation.

When the scene had been fully deconstructed, Alice asked the question that was weighing heaviest on Bella's mind.

"What are you going to do now?"

Bella sighed. "I have no idea. I've tried apologizing, but he won't listen."

"Try again," Alice stated as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"What? I just told you, he wouldn't listen to me. What do you want me to do, grovel?"

"Well that all depends, is he worth it?"

Bella's mind flashed to shared moments of laughing, of talking, small moments that were so precious to her now that they were impossible to repeat. She remembered the feel of his arms around her and his lips against hers. She remembered how her heart would speed up whenever he stole her away for a private moment. She remembered what she only now recognized as a feeling of completeness she had felt whenever she was around him. So was he worth it?

"Yes. Yes he's worth it," she murmured.

Alice was glad that they were conversing over the phone, because she had a feeling that the sight of her bouncing up and down in joy was probably not the best reaction to hearing that her best friend was about to intentionally humiliate herself for the man she loved. As it was, Alice could barely contain her excitement enough to ask her if she knew what she was going to do.

"Honestly, I have no idea. I guess I'll just keep apologizing until he finally believes me." She thought for a moment. "I hope he doesn't end up getting a restraining order or something."

Alice laughed. "Well if he does, at least there will be truth in one rumor about a Cullen having one against you."

"Thanks a lot," Bella shot back sarcastically. She didn't know how, but she felt lighter than she had in months. Edward may not have forgiven her yet, but she wouldn't rest until she made every effort on that front.

Let the groveling begin.

*****

The next day began much like usual for Edward. After arriving at school, Jasper ran off to find Alice, and Emmett and Rosalie headed off to have some private time before class. Edward usually used this time to read in his first classroom, but before he could reach it, he was accosted by Bella.

She had arrived early to school and was leaning against a wall, watching for his arrival. She had never felt like such a creeper in her life, but she kept reminding herself that he was worth it.

"Hey, Edward."

Edward ignored her and continued walking. Refusing to give up, she followed him.

"Edward, please talk to me." When he again did not acknowledge her, she reached out to touch his arm. "Please. Edward, please. This has gone on too long. Please just talk to me."

Realizing she wasn't going to give up, he reasoned that he might as well let her say her piece and then carry on. Sighing resignedly, he turned around to stare at her.

"What is it, Bella?" His impassive face made her wince involuntarily.

"I…I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for what happened."

"You said that yesterday."

"Yes, and you didn't believe me."

"Fine I believe you. Can I go now?" he huffed exasperatedly.

"Just talk to me for a minute, Edward. I'm sorry, okay. I'm sorry I hurt you."

"What could we possibly have to talk about, Bella? The entire time you were with me was a lie. I don't even know you. Now, I need to get to class. Maybe you should do the same." Once again, he left her alone, staring after him with damp eyes.

She tried again after his first class. He was very surprised to find her waiting for him as he left the classroom, but there she was, like the proverbial cat that would not stay away.

"It wasn't all a lie, Edward." It took him a moment to recall his last words to her from earlier in the day.

"What are you talking about? Of course it was a lie. You were just using me to get to Emmett."

"Not everything was a lie. Yes, I used you, and I'm sorry for that. But the times when it was just us, you need to know that those were real."

He scoffed. "Sure they were. You were probably just trying not to blow your cover."

"I'm being serious here. Look, maybe it started out that way at first, but I had no reason to pretend when it was just us. Those times when we were alone, those were real. At least they were to me," she finished, slightly defensive.

"What is that supposed to mean?" his anger snapped and he whipped around, unconsciously pinning her up against the wall by doing so. "'At least they were to me.' What do you mean by that? Did you think they weren't real for me? Did you think I was pretending? Those were some of the best…no, they were the best moments of my life when I was with you. Do you have any idea how much it hurt to realize that you had been faking all of those moments? To know that they meant nothing to you at all when they meant everything to me?" The anger began to fade, revealing the pain behind his façade.

"They meant something to me too," she whispered. He was so close she could have tilted her chin up and connected their lips, but she didn't dare.

Locked in each other's gaze, he asked the question that had been plaguing him. "Then why? Why, if those moments meant something to you too, did you do that to me?" he whispered back.

"I didn't know." She shut her eyes against the penetrating green that seemed to stare right down to her soul. "I didn't know how much they meant to me until it was too late."

Edward snapped out from her hypnotic gaze as she closed her eyes and was brought back the reality of where they were and how close they were standing. Drawing in a shaky breath, he stepped back. "I'm sorry Bella, but you're right. It's too late." They looked at each other for another moment before he gave her a sad smile and continued towards his next period.

Despite the pain that stabbed through her, Bella didn't dissolve into tears this time. Drawing her last reserves of strength, she squared her shoulders in determination. I'm not giving up that easily.

Edward didn't see Bella again until lunch. He was oddly disappointed that she wasn't standing outside his classroom again, but he brushed it off as more masochistic foolishness. Walking into the cafeteria, he was again accosted by a brunette, but this time it was Jessica.

"Hey Edward. Want to eat lunch together?" Her eyes were so full of hope that he felt a momentary twinge of guilt for having not thought of her since lunch the previous day.

"Um, sure. Do you want to come sit with us again?"

She nodded enthusiastically, following him towards his usual table. She and Rosalie started babbling about some new cheer routine that they had been learning, or something like that. Edward was not paying attention. Instead, he was attempting to surreptitiously watch Bella without looking like he was watching her.

Bella was where she always was: seated across the room next to Alice. She seemed to be sitting up a little taller today than she had in recent weeks, and once when she caught him looking, an expression of firm resolve settled on her face. By the end of lunch, he was satisfied with the thought that he had successfully evaded the notice of those sitting with him, but a knowing look from Jasper revealed otherwise. As they rose to leave, Jasper leaned forward so that only Edward could hear and told him in no uncertain terms that "we'll talk later." Edward made a face. That was one conversation he was not looking forward to.

He walked Jessica to her class again, much to her delight, before heading towards Biology. Once again, they chatted amicably, but he couldn't seem to keep his thoughts fully on the girl walking next to him. Rebelliously, his mind kept wandering to a certain brunette with chocolate eyes and an infuriating talent for making him long for her even while he wanted nothing to do with her. Class started just as he sat in his seat, leaving no time for conversation. After class, he left as soon as possible, not giving Bella a chance to corner him again.

Leaving his last class at the end of the day, he thought that he had successfully evaded all further interactions with Bella. That thought lasted only until he reached his car and saw a note tucked under his windshield. Turning it over, he saw four words that, against his better judgment, created a bubble of hope in his chest.

It's never too late. -B

AN--Almost 100 reviews! Woohoo! Thank you so much to all of the great reviews that you have been sending. They truly do keep me going!

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