"Crimson kisses in the half-cooled warmth
--Distant Thunder--
Dance like fleeting shadows, one night's play.
It's okay if you forget all about it as your heart knows
But your body can't erase this burning wound."
~Weiss Kreuz; "White Flames"~
The moon, covered by a veil of clouds that promised rain, held watch over the two lone teenagers as they made their way across the street towards the house on the far side. The pair ducked under the awning of the small but well-kept home, holding hands tightly and leaning their tear-stained faces against the wood of the door. Only then, cloaked by the shadows of night, did they allow themselves to sink to the ground, one of them still sobbing brokenly.
Kouran watched her beloved, reaching out a hand to brush away his tears. He shied away, turning his face from her like a beaten dog to its abusive owner. It wrung her heart, to see him so lost. The young woman persisted, cupping his chin in one of her thin hands. "Houjun, Houjun, please. You don't have to talk about...whatever. I understand. But you have to calm down. Whatever you saw, whatever horrible thing it was, it's all right. It's not going to happen. I'm here. And I'm not going to leave you. So please, please, Houjun, at least look at me."
Ashamed at the tears he could not halt, the young man turned his haunted eyes upwards until they met his beloved's soft, chocolate brown ones. He took a long, shuddering breath, trying to stop himself from crying. Above, thunder rumbled ominously, a sure sign of the downpour that was certain to come.
Houjun opened his mouth, tried to say something to ease Kouran's worries, to at least show that, physically, he was all right. But the image of her, locked tightly in the arms of his best friend, their mouths pressed against one another invaded all his thoughts, forced him to turn away again. A drop of water hit his foot, which was not fully protected by the awning above. He shivered, though it wasn't from cold. "Kou...Kouran..." he managed to say between his helpless, gasping breaths. "I need to get home. It's going to storm."
She looked at him hard for a moment, trying to figure out what had possessed him to say something like that. After all he had just been through, after the terrible forgotten memories she knew he must have viewed, he was concerned about getting wet? Kouran brushed away some of his tears, holding his head in her hands for a moment and drawing close, so her forehead was against his. "Stay here. We can talk. I can stay by your side, so if it comes again you won't have to bear it alone. So it'll be all right."
"No," he said quietly. He wanted to add, 'It won't be all right. It'll never be all right again. No matter how close you are to me, there's no way you can help me bear it. Not after that,' but all he said was, "My parents will be worried. They get nervous when I'm out late - that's the kind of people they are."
He pulled back, forcing himself to stand, forcing himself to shoulder his own pain, his own nightmare. Houjun stumbled, the fatigue from tears and emotions dragging heavily on his legs. Kouran jumped to her feet, reaching out an arm to help him stand; to help him live. "Houjun-"
His eyes widened in shock, hairpin he had bought for Kouran falling from his numb grasp and into the soft, spring grass below. Mouth open in a silent shout, he pulled back sharply, hiding himself behind a tree. He clasped and unclasped his hands helplessly by his sides, feeling his heart pounding in his chest, certain the noise would give away his location and not caring. It had to be some kind of mistake...some kind of sick joke...they couldn't have...they couldn't have...
Houjun jerked his arm free of Kouran's hold, wincing at the memory he had not known he possessed. "I can walk," he rasped harshly. The young man grimaced, seeing the hurt in his love's eyes and desperately wanting to apologize. But the visions were too clear in his mind, the betrayal too sharply etched on his heart. He straightened his shoulders, shaking his head to clear it of the wicked, taunting images, and focused on reality.
But what the hell was reality anymore...?
"Oyasumi, Kouran," he whispered, voice still husky from crying. Then, without word from the wide-eyed, guilt-stricken Kouran, Houjun took off down the street just as the first drops of rain began to speckle the darkened landscape of Kyokujitsu Village.
Kouran watched him go, pain and grief easily read in her chocolate-brown orbs. She had come so far, risked so much, and now it looked like her efforts were going to be swept aside as easily as the raindrops that spattered incessantly on the thin streets of her reborn village. Water built up in her eyes, but she quickly brushed it away. No. She would not weep. She was undeserving of tears.
The young woman clenched a fist at her side, turning her hurt into anger and shedding her hate vehemently on the three people in the world whom she despised more than anything. She threw invisible curses at Hikou, whose passion had destroyed lives; raged wordless threats at Tenshuru, the woman who had triggered Houjun's visions to reappear, now more violently than ever. Above all, though, she swore quietly into the night air all the cruel words and phrases she knew, all the tortures and punishments befitting the woman who had shattered her beloved's heart.
"Kouran, you bitch. You stupid, useless slut..."
***
Houjun, soaked from the steady downpour and not caring, quietly swung open the door of his house. Out of habit he slipped out of his muddy shoes, leaving them to dry by the door; then, pushing his drenched bangs out of his eyes, started silently through the house towards his room.
"Houjun?"
The young man didn't bother to hide his weariness as the door to the sitting room opened inwards, shedding light into the darkened kitchen. He squinted against the sudden brightness, mahogany orbs watching as his father's own, similarly-colored eyes widened in surprise. "Gods, you're a mess. Where have you been, anyway? Your mother's been going crazy."
"There was a cram session at Shigure-kun's house," he muttered, making his way across the kitchen and towards the hall that led to his bedroom. He had to get out of here, had to find some place where he could just be alone. "I'm kinda tired, so d'you mind...?"
Ri Shinsei was across the room in an instant, letting the door swing shut behind him and once again cloaking the room in evening shadows. "We heard about the cram session from the neighbors' kids, but that was supposed to be over a long time ago. What in the world took you so long?"
"I got... held up a little. D'you think we could talk about this in the morning?" Houjun asked, praying that he could keep the edge out of his voice. "I really need to get some sleep."
His father cleared his throat, trying to find a delicate way to talk about this. "Ano... listen, Houjun, I know what it's like to be a kid. What with exams, and the future, and girlfriends, it can be a little overwhelming. I dealt with the same kind of thing."
"I seriously doubt that you-"
"Ah, Yukari, you shouldn't have made me get into this with him..." the older man, clearly uncomfortable, rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, that with the pressure you're feeling... if you feel the need to go out and, oh, I dunno, hit the bars or go off with Kouran someplace... well I won't exactly be happy but I'll understand. Just make sure you let us know when you're going to be out late, so you're mother won't worry about you, all right?"
Houjun felt his quick temper sparking. All he wanted to do was be left alone, left alone to cry or curse or whatever it was he needed to do to relieve himself of the ache in his heart, and he couldn't even be allowed that one simple luxury. He barked out a laugh that sounded more like a sob. "You're kidding right? You think I'm into that thing? You think I have time for that shit?" Shinsei jumped, surprised by the uncharacteristic vulgarity. The young man whirled on his father, putting a defensive hand to his chest. "All I've been doing is studying for school, so I can get perfect grades and get a perfect career so you can be perfectly happy with your perfect son! I haven't even thought about sex, much less had it! Now can I please just go to my room!?"
He whirled to head to his room, but Shinsei's disgustingly calm and worried voice made him pause. "Houjun... what's wrong? Did something happen at school?"
Outside, thunder rolled like a warning. Houjun gritted his teeth, trying to keep himself from unleashing the pressurized feeling in his chest. "Everything's fine. I'm just wet and tired and overworked. Now would you-?"
"Your mother told me about those headaches of yours," he remarked quietly, almost as if he had not heard his son. "She said they were pretty hard, on you and the family. She also said they were probably induced by stress, and-"
"Dammit, Otoo-san, this has nothing to do with stress!" Houjun snapped impatiently, stomping down the hall with his father close on his heels. "The only problem is that I'm getting rattled with questions that aren't even important!" Nothing was important anymore, after all. Not after what he had seen. Not after that premonition, that memory, that wrenching betrayal of trust, love, and friendship. Everything else was nothing compared to that. "Now, I'm going to bed. Why don't you do the same thing? Okaa-san's missed you for the past couple weeks, you know."
Shinsei put a hand lightly on his son's damp shoulder, attempting one last time to connect with the obviously distraught young man. He meant well with his words, but he still wound up misreading his son's bedraggled state. "If you're working too hard, if the kakyo is putting too much pressure on you... it's okay if you want to take a break. I mean, you don't have to study twenty-four seven for that thing. Heck, I worked half as hard as you do, and I still managed to slip by, so-"
That was it. Houjun flared bright crimson for a split second, so fast that he wasn't even aware of it. "Fuck the damned kakyo!" He put a hand on the door of his room, opening it sharply and flinging his father's hand off his shoulder. He snapped one last, vicious remark into Shinsei's well-meaning but oblivious face. "Why didn't you just stay at the damned capital!?"
Outside the window, a bolt of lightning cracked dangerously close to the house; at the same time, all the nearby shutters slammed open, sending blasts of rain-spattered air into several of the rooms. Houjun slammed the door of his room shut tightly behind him, noticing the shutters flapping against his windows. The young man tossed off his wet clothing onto a nearby chair, waving a hand at the windows as if to shut them with the action alone; he was too distraught to notice that the motion had done just that.
As the storm raged on outside his room he angrily got into a loose shirt and pants - his basic sleepwear - dried out his soaked hair, and slipped the almost never-used latch on his door into place. He wasn't going to be disturbed tonight, come hell or high water. By the time he crawled dejectedly under his covers, however, still shivering at the clammy cold that clung to his skin, his anger had evaporated and been replaced by a feeling closer to shame.
The problem with his bad moods was that they never lasted long. Yukari used to compare his temper to a firecracker: quick to light, burn and explode, but fizzling out soon after. Except Houjun doubted that firecrackers ever had to deal with the regret and pain their explosions might have caused.
He sighed, pulling the thick, quilted blanket tightly around his body and closing his eyes. He almost never fought with his father, and he could never remember a time when he had snapped at him so fiercely. But Shinsei had been so insistent, just kept after him as if he had done something that needed to be talked over, as if he had never stayed out past sunset before! And it wasn't like he hadn't warned him, wasn't like he hadn't asked numerous times if he could just go to bed... gods, he was going to get it in the morning, if not from his father than from his mother. If there was one thing she hated, it was disrespect, and he had just given Shinsei a full dosage of it.
If they knew his reasons, maybe they wouldn't be so quick to deal out punishment. But how could he ever explain to them his reasons...?
Houjun shivered again, pulling the quilt closer to his thin, tired body and deciding he just needed to rest. Rest to calm his heart, to clear his head, to force those horrible memories out of his mind. He'd make up some excuse for his behavior in the morning. After all, he never acted like that, he reminded himself sleepily, already drifting lazily into slumber. He never talked to his father that way, never got angry and said those vicious things. As he fell into a state somewhere between slumber and consciousness, he tried to remember the last time he had done something like that...
Houjun slammed open the door to his home, storming across the house in a flurry of quick, enraged footsteps. Now that the shock had worn off, now that the disbelief and self-pity and blame had passed him by, he felt nothing but anger - anger, and a need for retribution.
The young man turned the corner of his kitchen sharply, heading on a beeline for his room, and ran straight into his father. Houjun frowned, looking down at the floor so his father wouldn't see his red-rimmed eyes, and tried to push his way past.
Shinsei chuckled a little, grasping a strong hand to his son's shoulder. "Woah, Houjun, what's the hurry? Going somewhere special?"
Yeah, he thought, fuming silently. I'm going to confront the bastard who had the nerve to call himself my friend. Out loud, he kept his voice as calm as possible, searching for the best answer he could give. "Not really. I'm just going down to the market to meet Hikou, Shigure-kun, and some other guys."
Which wasn't a complete lie, he reminded himself. That was where that bastard usually hung out during the spring holidays, and he was going to find him, even if the meeting would be a surprise.
"Well, you might want to change your plans," Shinsei remarked. He glanced out the window at the dark black clouds rolling their direction. "Looks like there's a big storm coming in. Everyone's saying it could get nasty. We're preparing for the worst, anyway. Come on, you can help your brother board up the windows..."
"I don't exactly have time for that," Houjun explained, pushing past his father and stalking going through the open doorway of his room. "It's getting late. I have to get down there before they leave." No way was he going to get away with this. Houjun wouldn't let him get away with this.
Shinsei frowned, standing in the doorway of his son's room with one hand placed skeptically on the frame. "If they've got any sense, then your friends are back home helping their families get ready for this thing. You'll have plenty of other chances to talk to them."
"This is important," he insisted, rummaging around in his drawers for... he didn't know what he was looking for, now that he thought about it. An answer, maybe? Something that would assure him that none of this could possibly be happening, that Kouran hadn't just told him... that she and Hikou weren't...
Damn it, why couldn't they have just told him from the beginning!? He would have been envious, perhaps, and certainly disappointed that she had chosen his best friend over him, but happy for them nonetheless. He would have even understood. But when it happened this way... when they made him think he had a chance with such a perfect woman, and then ripped out all his hopes and beliefs...
Houjun's hand came into contact with the smooth, wooden handle of a knife. He had bought the weapon a few years ago, after he had obtained an interest in fishing, but had soon gotten too busy to have time for the relaxing habit. He vaguely realized that the knife had other, more dangerous purposes; scarcely knowing what he was doing, he pulled the weapon out of his drawer. Making sure his father couldn't see, he stuffed the blade viciously into his belt, a prelude of the violence that would occur that evening. By gods, he'd make Hikou pay for this betrayal with blood if he had to!
The young man turned to leave, but found his father blocking his path. Houjun met the older, taller man's eyes, setting his jaw stubbornly. "I could be out for a while," he said. "I'll come home if the weather gets really bad."
Shinsei frowned curiously at his son, trying to figure out what in the world could be so important. After a moment, he chuckled a little, eyes alight with understanding. "Oh, gods! Don't tell me the boys are holding some kind of impromptu party for you? Celebrating your engagement down at one of the market bars, hm?"
At the sound of the word "engagement," Houjun lost whatever self-control he might have possessed. His eyes brimmed with tears of anger and frustration. "Damn it!" he snapped, voice breaking on his next words. "There is no engagement! That bastard ruined everything! Everything...!"
The young man pushed roughly past his father, breaking into a fast walk and going for the front door. Shinsei tried to open his mouth to speak, tried to follow his son across the room and figure out what was going on, but he found himself powerless to move. His entire body was frozen to the spot, gripped by a force neither father nor son were aware of. He watched helplessly as Houjun opened and slammed the door behind him, leaving the place of his birth for the final time...
Houjun came awake with a start, blinking in surprise. "Where...?" he asked thickly, unable to get the rest of the words out, unable to explain his confusion to the night air.
He should not have remembered that, he thought numbly, shivering in spite of his blankets. How could you remember something that had never happened? More importantly, he added desperately to himself, more like a plea than a fact, how could you remember something that was never going to happen? And what had he meant when he thought to himself, with a hint of regret, 'Those were the last words I ever said to him.' The last words!? But his father wasn't... surely, his father wouldn't...
The young man felt a shudder trace its way up his spine. He pulled his covers even closer around his chin, as if he could block out the rainy chill and the icy memories with the soft, warm material. Houjun closed his eyes tightly, trying to shake away the feeling of nostalgia that he seemed to be getting so often these days. It wasn't just nostalgia, though, he reminded himself. In fact, it was a lot more than that. It was more like a feeling that something was terribly wrong in his life, that things shouldn't be happening like this. But why would he be getting that feeling in the first place...?
The violent wind struck sharply against his shutters, causing them to rattle in an eerie rhythm with the rain outside. He frowned, ducking his head under the covers. He used to like the rain - or, at least, it had never bothered him before. Tonight, however, it seemed to almost heighten his sense of disquiet. Without meaning to, he felt himself straining to gain back the things he felt he had lost-
Lightning flashed across the sky overhead, followed shortly by several sharp cracks of thunder. Rain pounded mercilessly to the ground and into the swelled river, torrents of water striking the land and homes of Kyokujitsu Village, as well as the figures of two young men grappling on the waterbank.
One of them was clearly taking the defensive, not even attempting to fight against the other. He had a strong hand on the other man's wrist, trying to keep the seeking knife away from his body. His eyes shone with the regret of a man who had lost everything and had only himself to blame, and the desperation of a man who wanted to live, even if he knew he did not deserve it. Blood ran freely from a small cut on his cheek - no doubt the work of the blade - though he barely seemed to notice it.
He gasped out the name of his old friend and new enemy, trying to bring his former companion back to himself before they were both destroyed. "Hou... jun..."
Houjun's mahogany orb snapped open, cutting off the vision. He stared hard into the shadows of his room, trying to confirm what he had just seen. It had been Hikou, on the riverbank. During a flood, it must have been. And he...he had taken a knife to his friend... attacked him, even... even hurt him! Just like in that image before, the one from the night when Hikou had slept at his house! Except this time it was so much worse, so many times worse.
The memories were no longer void of emotions. This one reeked of anger, hate, perhaps even something borderlining madness. They were all just cover-ups, though, just forms of the predominating feeling that filled his heart and mind, that made his chest ache. It was the overwhelming sensation of unbearable pain. Pain, and betrayal.
"Hikou..." he whispered, needles shooting into his heart at the name and the visions that came with it. "Kouran..." the lance drove deeper, burying itself into the very cavity of his soul, and taking the image of a passion-filled kiss along, to be implanted forever in the depths of his being.
The young man shuddered heavily, caught between the two points of his truths. He refused to believe what he saw, yet he couldn't deny it anymore than he could deny himself. They were imbedded too deeply in his mind, fused too closely to his heart for any of these new memories to be fake. The emotions were too vivid, too real to be a product of a failing mind. Somehow, it was all true. Somehow, it could never be true.
Houjun buried his head into his pillow because he could find no other answers and tried to fall asleep.
There was no sunrise over Kyokujitsu the next day. Rain still poured like weeping from the dark clouds in the sky, blocking out any real sunlight and forcing children and adults alike to bring whatever kind of clothing they had out of storage to use on their ways to work and school. The schoolyard was full of people splashing through the puddles, wide hats or hooded cloaks keeping their heads dry from the chill, autumn storm. Others who were not so lucky to have protection from the rain could be found ducking in and out of the awnings of houses, trying to prolong the inevitable soaking.
Hikou, who was one of these unlucky few, had learned a long time ago that trying to stay dry without a hood was like trying to stay warm in a snowstorm without clothes. He gave up on the ducking technique long before he reached the secondary school, sprinting for the doors and waiting for Kouran and Houjun to meet him there. The three of them had an unspoken agreement on rainy days, which was quite simply that it was every man for himself and they'd catch up to one another once they got inside. Unaware of the events of the night before, he leaned against the wall and waited for his friends to show up.
Well, maybe it would be better to say friend, he thought, wishing his clothes would dry faster so he could stop shivering. He couldn't really put it into a plural, seeing as how Kouran loathed him so much. Maybe he couldn't even call Houjun a friend. After all, with his memories wiped he had no reason to hate Hikou, but in the real world of the living, who knew? It certainly wouldn't surprise him - gods knew he probably deserved it - but he had always hoped...
Hope. Ach, now there was a troublesome word. He had hoped his father would just go to bed when he came home drunk, instead of turning his anger on his young son. He had hoped that Kouran would pretend that one, passion-filled kiss had never happened. He had hoped that Houjun would pull him up from the river before the current took him; hell, he had even dared to hope that by some strange mix-up he would be allowed into heaven after everything he had done. Yeah, hoping was a nice way to screw yourself over. It was better to prepare and work things out, so you wouldn't have any need for hope.
Hell, he thought with a wry chuckle, preparation hadn't worked either. Didn't seem to matter what he did, he always wound up with the short end of the stick. Hikou ran a hand through his midnight blue hair, remembering the one time he had managed to succeed, even if it had been in defeat. In losing to Chichiri - sometimes he wondered if he hadn't done it on purpose - he had somehow managed to save his soul from an eternity in Hell.
But even that was a lie, wasn't it? Really, hadn't it been Houjun - Chichiri - Houjun - damn it - hadn't he been the one to save his soul? All Hikou had done was attempt to ruin his friend's life again, but somehow Houjun had still loved him, and had been willing to sacrifice himself to save his friends: including Hikou. That last, desperate action had been the only thing he had been able to comprehend; death was the only thing the damned understood. Suzaku, had he ever been a fool...
But none of that really mattered anymore. That Angel had gone to Kouran, asking for her help and his; and Kouran, in turn, had gone to Hikou. Had actually come to him, the man whom she had spoken to perhaps once in all of their fifteen-odd years in the afterlife together. She had practically begged him to help Houjun, to save Houjun, as she called it. Hikou had never been able to say "no" to her pleading eyes.
Besides, maybe this would be a good way to make up for everything that had happened, if that were possible. Maybe Kouran would finally look at him with something besides blatant disgust. Maybe he could wipe that sad look out of Houjun's eyes - eye - eyes - damn it - once and for all. That look, the day of their last meeting, had really hit him. The way his best friend had cried for his death -actually cried, for the sinner who had screwed it all up! - gripped his hand right up until the end; the way love and sorrow seemed to pour from his single mahogany eye...
'If this helps him, then it'll be worth it,' he thought to himself, nodding decisively. He bit his lip, wishing he could shake off his feeling of reluctance about the whole thing. 'But gods, Houjun, you seemed pretty close with those seishi friends of yours. Has it really gotten so bad for you that death is now a blessing...?'
"Hikou! Hikou-senpai!"
The young man jerked his head up, surprised by the call from a familiar, young voice. He peered through the steady downpour, watching as the second-oldest Ri child splashed his way to the doors of the building, keeping his eyes on Hikou the whole way. Mitsuru pulled to a hasty stop, pulling off his hat and bowing politely to the older man. "Ohayou, Hikou. Okaa-san told me to let you know that Nii-san isn't coming to school today, so don't bother waiting up. He's sick."
Hikou blinked in surprise. "He is? What's wrong?" he chuckled a little. "He stay out drinking last night or something? I can't leave that boy alone for a second, can I?"
"No, you can't," a new voice interrupted. Kouran marched up to the two young men, brown eyes hard with anger and determination. She forced a smile at Houjun's brother. "Thank you for delivering the news, Mitsuru. You'd better hurry to class, or you're going to be late."
He nodded and took off into the rain, on his way to the section of the secondary school that housed the younger students. As soon as he was out of hearing distance, Kouran whirled sharply on Hikou with hard eyes and a nervous voice. "He isn't sick - at least, not in the way most people think of sickness. I went over to his house this morning to check up on him, because of what happened yesterday, and his mother told me he said he didn't feel well. He won't get out of bed, and-"
"Wait, wait," Hikou held up a hand, ducking out of the way of the stream of students and gesturing for Kouran to do the same. "You're talking in riddles. What happened yesterday? He didn't have another headache or anything, did he?"
"There's a new teacher," Kouran explained as briefly as she could. Hikou knew how much she hated talking to him, even if it was about their close friend. "Tenshuru Asashi. I think it's the Angel's sister, the one she warned us about. She's trying to get Houjun to remember. I'm not sure how, but she managed to trigger one of his memory attacks. She got the whole thing started again. And then last night..." Kouran choked on her words, leaning her head against the side of the building. "Oh, gods, I thought he was going to lose it, that time. The look in his eyes, it was so horrible, like someone had just torn out his heart...and I helped do that to him...!?"
"What was it?" Hikou asked, almost afraid to know.
"What do you think!?" she snapped angrily. "What else could it have been but us!? He didn't tell me, but it had to have been. He must have seen, he must have remembered... that," she spat the word as if it were poison.
The young man resisted the urge to remind Kouran that, at the time, she had enjoyed the kiss just as much as he had. This was no time to be getting technical, after all. "Suzaku. Was it that bad?" she nodded, hugging herself tightly. Hikou put a hand to his forehead. "Maybe we should just call this off. This was supposed to relieve Houjun's pain, not cause him more pain..."
Kouran punched a fist into Hikou's chest in a movement so swift the man barely saw it coming. The young woman's eyes flared raw hatred for a brief moment as she drew close enough to hiss in his ear. "You would say that, wouldn't you? You ruined everything else he ever had; why not ruin this as well, right?" the young man winced as if she had slapped him. "Well, here's an interesting bit of news, Hikou: I don't care what you think anymore. You lost all say in my life twenty-one years ago, when you destroyed my future and Houjun's heart."
His own eyes turned downwards in defeat. She was right, after all; what right did he have to determine Houjun's fate, when he had already done so much harm? Still, he couldn't just stay silent and let his friend suffer. "What are we supposed to do, then?"
She took a step back, pulling her hand away from his chest and taking a deep breath. "We are going to start taking shifts, so we can keep an eye on Houjun at all times. I don't want him getting one of those attacks without one of us close by." She straightened her dress, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "We'll start doing that after school. In the meantime, I'm going to have a little chat with Tenshuru." Her brown orbs flashed dangerously. "Hopefully, it will help us solve a few problems."
The young man nodded, flashing a small smile. "Your wish is my command, Koujo-sama."
His former friend scowled. "Save the jokes. Don't think that just because I'm doing this it means we're friends again. This is for Houjun's sake. I don't give a damn what happens to you." And with those final words she turned on her heel and left him amid the throng of students, off to complete her own private tasks.
It was so strange, the changes twenty-one years of regret and self-loathing could bring upon a person, Hikou mused. Kouran used to be such a kind-hearted, forgiving woman, before all of this had happened. Perhaps, more than anything he had taken away from his friends, he wished he could give the woman he loved back her innocence. She deserved at least that.
'That's not possible, though,' he reminded himself, frowning and trudging to his classroom. 'So I guess, the best I can do now is just keep this act up. For both of their sakes. I just hope I'm not making the wrong choice...'
Ah, but it was foolish to hope, wasn't it?
Koji stared out one of the many windows in the Reikaku stronghold, sighing at the heavy downpour of rain that had decided to grace the mountain that day. The bandit co-leader had never particularly liked rain. It kept a person from going out and doing what they wanted to do, a feeling he had not experienced in large amounts since his days in school, years ago. And he had always hated school. Already, the tanned thief was starting to feel a little cooped-up.
"Well, so much fer goin' inta town an' pickin' up s'me supplies," he remarked to himself. "Guess we'll have t'work with what we got. No doubt Genji-kun'll still manage t'put t'gether a decent meal." The young bandit had recovered with surprising swiftness from his alleged "brush with death" from the day before, and was once again bustling about the kitchens with hardly a care in the world. Sometimes Koji wished he could be more like the youth, where his biggest problems were finding good recipes and pleasing his idols.
"On the bright side," he said to no one in particular. "At least we won't have t'deal with those Akutsuki members t'day. Ch, you'd have t'be crazy t'go out in any rainstorm, 'specially one in th' middle-a winter."
"You gotta be crazy, goin' out in any rainstorm, 'specially one in th' middle-a winter!"
Koji blinked, putting a finger to his chin in confusion. "Eh, didn't I jus' say that...?" The bandit turned around, following the familiar voice to the familiar figure that owned it. Tasuki was stomping across the main room of the stronghold towards Koji, following a very determined-looking Hikaru. The Reikaku leader had a look of disbelief written clearly across his face; Koji wondered what was bothering him now.
"You can argue with me as much as you want, Tasuki, but it won't do any good," Hikaru was saying as she neared the window where the tanned bandit was standing. "I told you yesterday that I would do this for the stronghold, and I don't plan on holding it off any longer. Suppose there was an attack sometime later today, and no one knew about it until it was too late? I can handle a bit of rain for the sake of everyone's safety."
Tasuki rubbed the back of his head. "Well, yeah, but..." he glanced out one of the nearby windows at the torrents of rain, wincing at the sight. Like his friend, he did not particularly care for rain, though for different reasons. "D'ya really think anyone's gonna attack in this shit? Ch, if we weren't on a mountain I'd think this storm'd flood us out..."
Koji, curious as to what the pair were debating about, walked over to where they stood near the entrance to the stronghold. "Eh, what's the problem Genrou, Hikaru-san? Anythin' I c'n do t'help?"
"Yeah," Tasuki agreed, jerking a thumb at the Asatenshi sister, "try talkin' some sense inta this nutcase's head. She actually wants t'try an' build that barrier thing in this weather!"
"If I don't do it now I'm going to get busy and forget," Hikaru shot back. "I'm terrible about remembering things, even important things like this. And I'd never forgive myself if something happened to the stronghold because of my stupidity."
"Well did it ever cross yer mind that I'd never fergive myself if you got drowned tryin' t'help us?" Tasuki growled, too deep in his favorite activity - fighting - to realize he had just said something very kind.
The remark did not pass by Hikaru, nor Koji. The Asatenshi woman blushed a little, looking downwards in embarassment. The bandit co-leader's eyes flashed angrily for a brief moment, but he regained his self-control quickly. "I see where yer both comin' from. Genrou's prob'ly right, though. No one's gonna try an attack in this weather, an' even if they did it isn't worth riskin' yer life over. Jus' wait until it clears up a little, then you c'n take care of whatever it is you need."
Hikaru looked up, smiling a little at both bandits. "Thank you for your concern, both of you, but I really don't think I should. This morning, I did a quick search of the mountain and found enemy presences not too far from your territory, and I'm nervous that they'll move in without my noticing it. I really must set up this barrier now, before anything happens to the stronghold. Please, Tasuki, Koji-san. I want to at least give a little back to the two of you."
Koji opened his mouth to attempt another protest, but his bandit friend, who seemed to have realized it was a useless battle, cut him off with a shrug. "Ah, hell, fine then. But if yer gonna be like that..."
Hikaru eyes shone hopefully as she envisioned the scene that was certain to come next. Tasuki grabbed her hands in his own, drawing her close and insisting that he come with her. He wouldn't dare allow her to risk herself in the harsh elements alone! He would come and be there to protect her, always! She smiled, holding out a hand and shaking her head fiercely. "Oh, Tasuki, no, you really shouldn't, I don't want you to be miserable on my account! You're too kind! Honestly, I'll be quite fine on my own!"
He raised a questioning eyebrow, watching the sister's display of imagined affection. "What th' hell're ya talkin' about?" the bandit took off his golden-yellow jacket and tossed it at the Asatenshi sister. "Wear this: it doesn't have a hood, but at least it'll keep some-a th' cold outta ya."
She opened her eyes, blinking as the garment flopped unceremoniously over her head. Hikaru smiled a little, but was unable to keep the disappointment out of her eyes as she wrapped the cloak around her thin form. "Arigatou, Tasuki."
"Yeah, well, I don't want ya comin' back half-drowned and whinin' t'me about how yer cold 'n' sick 'n' it's all my fault," he explained in his typical, grumbling way. "Jus' don't get it all muddy 'r anythin' - that's th' best jacket I got."
Hikaru nodded, bowing quickly and flashing a smile of appreciation. "Mata arigatou [Thanks again]. I'll be extra careful with it, I promise."
"Right, right," he remarked with a shrug, turning on his heel and beginning to walk to where some of the bandits were gambling. "I got a lotta stuff t'do, so I'll see ya when ya get back, I guess. Talk to ya later, Hikaru, Koji."
Koji watched him go, sighing a little. "Genrou, yer hopeless." He turned back to the sister. "Wait here; I'll be back in a minute." Hikaru did as he said, watching as he jogged down a short corridor of Reikaku towards his room. The bandit was back shortly, toting a flexible, straw-woven mat under one arm. He flashed a smile at the young woman. "Now this will keep ya dry!" he proclaimed, holding the material out like an offering.
The young woman smiled, bowing to show her gratitude once again. "Arigatou, Koji-san. Between this and Tasuki's jacket I'll be as warm and dry as possible. I really hate getting wet," she admitted, "so this is a blessing for me."
The co-leader frowned a little, opening the main door a small crack and peeking outside. The rain still came down heavily, flattening the dead, winter grass that surrounded the stronghold. The clouds that hung overhead were thick, too, and it may as well have been dusk rather than the middle of the day. Koji shivered as a harsh breeze whipped through the door, ruffling his dark hair and seeping into his clothes. "You sure you don't wanna reconsider?"
"I couldn't," she told him bluntly. "Once I start something, I have to finish it right away. I'm too single-minded for my own good, I guess."
"Too stubborn, too," he remarked under his breath. The bandit opened the door wider, smiling and unrolling the makeshift umbrella. He held the mat above their heads, drawing close to the young woman so they would both be sheltered. "Well, all right then. Shall we get started?"
Hikaru blinked. "Eto...'we', Koji-san?"
"Sure," he agreed, stepping out into the storm and gesturing with his head for her to follow. "It ain't jus' wet 'n' cold out here, y'know; it's dark, an' yer a newcomer t'the mountain. Ya might get lost, tryin' t'find yer way around the place in this weather. Not t'mention those enemy presences you said ya felt." He frowned in mild embarassment, looking away from the young woman. "Anyway, I'm comin' too. Someone's gotta protect ya, after all."
The young woman smiled warmly, the first real smile she had ever presented to him. "Mm! Mata mata arigatou, Koji-san!"
He chuckled at her enthusiasm, waiting until she stepped under the small shelter before heading off down the muddy slopes. "So, what do ya need t'do? Jus' go t'the four corners of th' stronghold to weave a spell, 'r somethin'?" She nodded. "Okay, great then, we'll hit th' west side first, then head on over t'the north corner...oh, watch yer step here, Hikaru-san, it's a little slick from th' mud...ach, y'almost fell! C'mon, put yer hand on my arm fer balance...there, all right!" He smiled happily at the feel of the young woman's grip on his forearm, a pleasant shiver that wasn't from the cold racing up his spine. Odd sort of first date, but he'd take what he could get, he thought with a grin. "And we're off!"
Houjun knew he should have gone to school that day, if only to prevent his friends and family from worrying about him, but in spite of his exhaustion he had slept little the night before and just couldn't find the strength to get out of bed that morning. Everytime he had tried to fall asleep, those images had come back to haunt and torment him time and again. No matter what he did, he just couldn't erase it; couldn't erase the picture of Kouran and Hikou wrapped in a lover's embrace, couldn't force the vision of he and Hikou fighting on the riverbank out of his head. So, he had remained sleepless, and had decided to take the easy way out of getting through the day.
That wasn't the whole reason, of course. As much as Houjun hated to admit it, he was also a little afraid of facing Hikou and Kouran so soon after the visions. How could he stand to talk to his beloved, when she had seen him break down like a little kid just the night before? Gods, he hadn't done that since he was a child, and he had certainly never done it in front of his friends... How could he possibly laugh and chat with Hikou, when the picture of the pair of them fighting, his best friend with desperation in his frightened eyes, was still so firmly etched across his heart? Above all, though, how he could bear sitting between the two of them in class, hearing them exchange friendly jokes with each other, when all his thoughts would be centered on that passionate kiss...
"Houjun?"
The young man did not react to his mother's call. He had been dozing off and on all morning, and decided to let her think he was still asleep. It was easier that way, and seeing him "peacefully sleeping" would probably ease any worries she might have had. Not to mention, it would keep him from receiving punishment from his behavior the night before.
"Houjun, you're a very bad actor. I can tell you're awake." He swore inwardly. Yukari chuckled. "Well, you don't have to talk to me if you don't feel well enough to do so. I figured you might be hungry, so I brought you a late lunch. I'll leave it by your bed; you can eat it when I'm gone, if you want."
Yukari hesitated for a moment, then took a seat on the edge of his bed. She patted his shoulder, smiling gently at her son even though he couldn't see it. "I'm not mad at you, you know. Neither is your father. Oh, don't worry, he told me all about what happened last night, and you won't be seeing your friends outside of school for the next week or so, but we aren't angry. Kouran came by this morning to check up on you, said you had had those headaches again during and after school, yesterday. She explained the whole thing, as best as she could. Told us you were real shaken up. I suppose that explains the way you acted last night."
Houjun, whose face was turned away from his mother, frowned. Kouran had come by, huh? She was probably worried, too, and his staying home wouldn't have eased that worry. Stupid, stupid.
"Anyway, like I said, we aren't angry with you. Shinsei admits that he was a little pushy the other night, when you made it pretty clear that you weren't in a good mood and needed to be left alone. Don't think I'm saying that what you did is okay - like I said, you'll be lucky if you get to see the light of day for the next week - but we understand, more-or-less."
The young man opened his mahogany orbs slightly, knowing his mother could not see it. His parents had always been so forgiving and easy-going, sometimes it drove him insane. It was a lot harder to stay angry or indignant at people who admitted their mistakes almost immediately. Mostly, it just made him feel guilty for his own actions.
Yukari was still talking, knowing perfectly well that her son was listening. "Your father thinks it's stress over the kakyo. Personally, I think this has something to do with women. Whatever the case, feel free to stay in bed and rest until you're feeling well enough - physically and mentally - to get back out in the world. You've been working so hard that you deserve any break you can get."
His mother paused thoughtfully, rubbing at his tense shoulder as she gathered her next words. "Listen, Houjun... whatever's happening to you... I'm not going to push you into telling us about it. You're practically an adult, now, and if you think you can handle something on your own than I trust your judgment. But Shinsei and I are here if you want to talk. Never forget that." She stood, turning and smiling at the back of her son's head. She patted the mess of light blue hair gently. "Try to get some rest. I hope you feel better."
The young man listened as she started across the floor of his room, heading back out the door. He hesitated for an instant, then quietly said, "Tell Otoo-san I'm sorry. About last night, I mean. I didn't... I'm sorry."
He could practically see the fond smile on his mother's lips. "I think I can handle that."
The floorboards squeaked as she turned to leave once again, and once again his voice stopped her. "...And, Okaa-san?"
"Hai, Houjun?"
"...Arigatou."
Yukari chuckled. "Well, you didn't think parents were put on this earth just to make your life hell, did you?"
Tenshuru Asashi was so engrossed in her flute playing that afternoon that she did not notice the woman in front of her for several minutes. As she finished twiddling the final notes to "Shinjitsu no Chizu [Map of Truth]," she finally opened her eyes and ears to the world around her. The young teacher glanced upwards, surprised to find one of her temporary students standing above her, hands placed angrily on her hips. Tenshuru smiled, standing to face the student. "Ah, Suzunami-san. I'm sorry to make you wait. You were supposed to pick up the classwork for Ri-san, weren't-"
Kouran slapped Asashi sharply across the face, cutting her off before she could finish her sentence. The young woman glared at her enemy and rival, watching with moderate satisfaction as tears of unexpected pain sprung to Tenshuru's eyes. The new teacher blinked in surprise, putting a hand to her stinging cheek and trying to get her mouth to work out her words. "Su... Suzunami-san..."
"Stay away from him," Kouran ordered dangerously, the fists that were clenched at her sides aching for violence. "Don't ever go near him again, you hear me? Just leave him alone. Leave us alone."
Her mysterious emerald eyes were wide with confusion and surprise. She took a cautious step backwards. "Him? What do you mean? Stay away from who?"
"Oh, don't bullshit me, Tenshuru," the young woman growled, closing the distance between them with a step of her own. "You know damn well who I'm talking about. Houjun was perfectly happy here, much happier than he could ever be in that nightmare world of his, and then you had to come along and try to destroy everything?" Kouran scowled, grabbing the teacher's collar in one hand. "Just what are you, anyway? Some kind of rogue Angel? Or a Demon?"
Asashi met Kouran's accusing gaze stare for stare, emerald eyes looking fearful but sure of themselves. "I am no different from your parents or anyone else in this village. My origins just happen to be different."
"And what is that supposed to mean!?"
"What do you suppose it means?"
Kouran slapped her again, brown orbs brimming with violent anger. "I'm getting really sick of your little riddles, Tenshuru. Quite frankly, I could care less what you are or where you came from, so long as you stay the hell away from him. I'm not going to let you have him, you understand that? I won't let him suffer that kind of pain anymore! By gods, as long as there's a breath of life in my body, I'm going to protect him from you and anyone else who wants to drag him away!"
"'A breath of life in your body,' hm? Well in that case, I'd say you've already lost him, wouldn't you agree?" Asashi asked quietly. Kouran brought up her hand to strike her once more, but the young teacher managed to catch her wrist this time. Tenshuru stared levelly into the other woman's burning, protective eyes, choosing her next words with careful precision. "I have a strict policy with all of my students, which is quite simply that I will not give help unless help is requested. If Ri-san does not come to me, I'm not going to make an effort to go to him. Your friend sought out my classroom of his own accord yesterday; what else could I do but give to him what he wanted?"
"Liar!" Kouran snapped, becoming increasingly frustrated at the woman's serene nature and mysterious answers. "Houjun never asked for what you gave him! He never asked for that pain, for those... those... memories! He never asked for that! He wouldn't ask for that, not after the hell that reality put him through!"
"Didn't he?"
"Of course no-" Kouran stopped, eyes widening as she realized that she had no argument to give. Houjun had acted as if he wanted to find answers, as if he wanted to remember the mysterious teacher and the events that went with her. As if a part of him actually desired to go back to that place... but how could he want that? The Angel had said... the Angel had told her...
Kouran gritted her teeth, releasing her hold on the Tenshuru woman's collar and taking a couple of quick steps back. "I'm leaving. Talking to you makes me sick. But remember what I said. I have a chance to finally save him from all the pain he's been forced to endure, and there's no way I'm letting that chance slip away from me. I'm going to rescue him, and I won't allow anyone to stop me. I want to give him his happiness back."
The young woman blinked her eyes, wondering when they had filled with tears and her heart had filled with questions. "If I can't do even that, then I really will just be a stupid whore, after all."
*****
Hao, minna-san!
Haha, these Author's Notes are starting to become part of the 'fixperience, aren't they? Anyway, I'd like to dedicate this chapter to the parents of the world. This is probably the most screentime/lines Ri Yukari and Shinsei will be getting during my fic, so it seems fitting. By the way, I based Houjun's parents a little off of my own. I'm really starting to like his mother, she's pretty laid-back and understanding, like mine. His dad's a bit like my own, too: well-meaning but oblivious. Seems to me a lot of father's are like
that...well, Shinsei isn't home a whole lot, so at least he's got an excuse. Heheh.
Dialogue Credit (Because plagiarism is bad, mmm'kay?)
I have to cite Cherry, from the amazing animé, "Saber Marionette," for Hikaru's little fantasy-scene of Tasuki protecting her. Cherry had a tendency to wildly fantasize about her dear "Otaru-sama," and I probably unintentionally borrowed that theme when producing the love-struck Asatenshi woman's inner thoughts. So, domo arigatou, Cherry-san!
Random Chapter Comments This verse was pretty short compared to a lot of my other ones, and nothing really happened in it. *Sweatdrop* This is what I like to call an "inner monologue" chapter, or a CDC (Character Development Chapter), as well as something of a prelude to the rest of this Movement, when the poo really hits the fan. That's part of the reason I chose the song "Enrai (Distant Thunder)" from "Saber Marionette" for the title: this verse sets the stage for the storm (literally and figuratively) that's going to be appearing in upcoming verses. So, yes, it actually is going to get worse.
Oh, and just on a side note, I finally wrote a Hikou monologue scene in this verse, and may I say it was loads of fun! I really like writing for him; I'm gonna have to do it more often. ^_^
I ran out of useless FY questions for the moment, so instead...
~~~Quote of the Week!~~~
"Holy naked old people!" - Jonathan, a drama buddy
Verse Preview? Another CDC, this one involving an evening shower, a bandit with a big mouth, and Houjun's worsening hell. Also... Genji reveals his true feelings! (Or... something like that... *Sweatdrop*) Stay tuned for the next riveting episode to this endless saga!
Your Melodramatic Author,
Dee ~_^