Chapter 11: Death and Stillness
For a long time everything was blank, long and staring: a parallel between two worlds in which I was neither existent nor evident but transparent, as a ghost that floats between earthly life and beyond. I could feel no fatigue or pain in the space that I was, I couldn't decipher any sounds or detect any movement around me with my fuzzy brain. For a time I felt utterly at peace, as long as time could be in a place that was unmoving and devoid of change. I couldn't keep track of the minutes as they slipped passed me; I was an empty carcass of a body trapped in a subconscious place.
Eventually I did begin to realize the life that thrived about me, and I was awoken by the sound of Navi's soft whispering and the flutter of her wings as they pulsed in the air overhead. My eyelids slowly drew apart and the world around me came into vibrant view: lush, green foliage surrounded me in a circular clearing, and standing mighty and tall directly before me, the Deku Tree, unmoving in its limbs but staring at me with a fierce gaze that I met as I came to. I could hear Navi's urgent voice ushering me out of my weary state and forcing the cloudiness from my mind leaving nothing to occupy my brain but a clean state, slightly slow, but refreshed nonetheless. Nothing crossed my face as I moved a hand behind me to push myself up off of the ground and into a sitting position and my brain was jogged back into functional form like a low buzz, pieced together as though it were still missing a few key elements of thought. I managed to bring myself up and, staring head on at the great tree before me, I dropped my elbows to my knees and attempted to regain memory of what I had gone through in the past, how far away or how close I could not recollect.
Navi said nothing as I stared blankly into the eyes of the tree for a brief moment or two, seeming to sense my state of imperturbable silence. For a second all was utterly quiet, as the two spirits waited patiently for something in my body to react, a sunken face, or slump of the shoulders in realization perhaps. The change in me did not come visibly, however, for too long, and the tree before me began to creak and move after another few moments of patience, breathing life into the silent forest around me with strained breath.
"You have done well, Link the Kokiri," the tree spoke, its words sounding forced, as if they would break if pressured too much. "I had indeed chosen the right child to carry out my wishes; you have surely demonstrated your courage to full extent... the inhabitant of the curse within me is gone, however, it is strange, for I still feel as if death is taunting me..."
"Great Deku Tree!" I heard Navi exclaim from above me and float wistfully above me to face the ancient oak. "Do not jest so! Link has indeed done what task you have asked of him: the beast is gone, the shadows cleared; what once haunted is now lost, scared away by the very courage that lies within the boy, the strength of which I am now clearly aware..." she paused and I watched as she brought her eyes to mine, brilliant against the fading light of the sunset.
"There are no longer doubts labouring my mind," she mused. "The boy is indeed the hero of the prophecy."
It was as if the fuzzy blanket in which my mind was hidden was drawn away, and suddenly the light of the world outside the cave came flooding to my eyes and blinded me instantly, the memories of what had come to pass seething through my brain like a burn mark, threatening to spark. My face crumbled in pain as I brought right arm to my face, withering behind it as a flower touched by the frost of winter. I trembled from behind my arm as my eyes slowly adjusted to the light, the flashing effect easing away to a dull glow as the sun continued to inch beneath the pillars of hills that were silhouetted in the distance. As my eyes carefully adjusted to the brightness of light, I focused weakly in on the tight skin that covered my arm. My mouth suddenly parted in shock as I saw the stretched black lines that snaked like a bruise from pinpoint in my elbow, writhing away down my arm to lick the veins of my wrist and curling around the base of my fingertips. My breath was laboured as weakness in my body caused me to drop my arm, and a pulsing heat began to erupt from the scars on my arm. My skin was icy cold, a hard lump wedged deep in my throat as I thought back hurriedly to the incident with the spider, the memories of which I had, before then, tried desperately to block out. My mind stung as I quickly skimmed past the moment I had slayed the beast, and concentrated instead on the blows I had inflicted from the thing.
I remembered then the wicked grin of the beast's giant stinger, the ripping of muscle as it pierced the skin above my elbow and tore through my flesh, the burning of the venom as it seeped into my veins and milked my arm with numbness. I remembered all this, so fresh in my mind but seeming in a place so far away, and I abruptly looked up to face the injured expression of Navi and the sullen, mournful face of the Great Tree as it met my gaze with a stare as hard as the wood that was its flesh.
"So, you seem to have remembered." It stated, and I only then noticed its bated breath, laced with a immense strain of voice and tell-tale, lacking the energy and authority I had heard from the tree when I had met with it earlier. How long ago was it? It seemed months, years away, hovering as a figment of the past in my life at a much younger time when my ignorance overruled my rationality. My face was tight in hard question as I stared back at the tree, who spoke again before I had the time to think of an answer to him.
"I would first like to apologize, very deeply, so the case may be, as Navi here has informed me of much that has come to pass while you have been asleep. My sorrow is profound and horror great as she has recounted the terrible events that the two of you have endured and the challenges you have overcome from within the very clutches of the most evil of places. I regret very much that I had asked for you to complete such a task, but I am yet glad that I had chosen the correct person to undergo such a thing, for only you, Link, would have had any hope in withstanding such a cruel place for such a long period of time."
"Deku Tree..." I spoke, my thoughts clear and voice full as it echoed throughout the clearing, the trees about me rustling in apprehensive response. "How long has it been since I entered the darkness? And since the beast was slain? I remember balancing on the very edge of death, and I remember feeling very weak and stained with blood. Where is all of this now?" I glanced to my arms as I raised my palm towards the tree, questioning with my arms. His gaze stiffened as his face furrowed in pity as I continued to speak in wonder. "And my left shoulder... it was broken, wasn't it? The beast cracked it when it pinned me against the wall... it went completely limp... And my elbow? The venom?" As I inspected my body for my many injuries, the realization finally dawned on me that my body was completely fine, totally free of all exhaustion and remainders of my injuries. In hesitation, I rolled my left shoulder in its socket, shocked that no pain rolled through it as I did. My skin was tight and new, slightly pink in places, but otherwise unharmed, besides the creeping shadow of ink that ran through my elbow and along my forearm. As I looked at it again the image of the spider's many eyes and sickly fangs flashed through my mind and I stiffened in remembrance, blocking out the images again with my subconscious.
The Deku Tree heaved a withering sigh from above me and spoke again, his voice yawning in apology and testing a smile towards me.
"You were drugged in a deep sleep for a long time, Link," the tree spoke and I listened attentively. "From within the cave where the monster lay Navi found you, body broken and blood glistening around you, the beast's pitiful corpse strewn close by." He moved his eyes towards the fairy, eyes full of admiration. "She was very weak herself, but knew that your injuries were dier and had to be treated to immediately with more magic than she could withstand, and yet with the last of her strength managed to transport you back to this very clearing one night's past. She was distrait when I found her, bent over your body like a mother grieving the loss of a child, and cried to me: 'Please! Please, Great Deku Tree, he is dying! You must save him!' and I did so, using the very last whisps of strength my own and transporting my energy to you, closing your wounds and washing your body away of all blood and struggle. I must admit that I then hoped you to awaken, for I feared for the near hour of my own death, but Navi again insisted that you rest, for at least until the sun had set in the next day's hour in which then, if you had not stirred yet yourself, she would awaken you so that I could speak to you once more-" With the last of his words the tree abruptly began to cough, a wrenching, horrible sounding thing that shock the tree from its very roots and shuddered some of the leaves from its mighty arms. I got to my knees as his hacking stopped in concern as the dry leaves fell upon me.
"Great Deku Tree, is something wrong?" I asked hopelessly. Suddenly, my face fell as I finally understood in sick realization. "The curse... Is it still alive? Did I not kill the beast?" My breath grew quick and paniced as my tone rose in height. Navi quickly turned with a look that quieted me and spoke to the tree softly, soothing with words like she would use to coo a child.
"It's alright, master. Take your time..."
I was silent as I watched their quiet exchange and the tree turned his sunken gaze upon me again. Unease jerked inside of me as I noticed the spirit in his eyes had weakened with my words.
"I have much to tell you, too much with such short time at hand." The tree spoke wryly. "Link the Kokiri, will you listen to my words, the words of the Great Deku Tree? Dost thou have yet even more abundant amounts of courage to believe my words and listen with patient ears?" I nodded quickly, and the old tree smiled, bark creaking and wheezing with the effort. "Very well. Listen carefully, child, for what I am about to tell you has not passed the air in these parts with word for centuries of old..."
"A wicked man from far to the west of this place in a land riddled with shadowed winds of sand cast this curse upon me. This wretched man... eternally he searches and uses his violent powers to wreak destruction and ruin all in his wake. He uses these powers, derived from good, for his own selfish gain, searching tirelessly for the portal to the Sacred Realm that is directly connected to Hyrule, for within this realm, governed by holy spirits and watched over by the Gods of this world, lies the ancient relic, the Triforce, the very essence of divine power in this world: this is what that vile man seeks. As his quest for the Triforce goes silent and undiscovered by most in our world, a dark climate pervades the land, causing nightmares to haunt those sensitive to its demonic touch. Surely, you have felt it, for I have heard you once before speak of such matters to me, and I have felt the presence of such witchery as well. Dark forces, the likes of which you would be unable to imagine, follows this man wherever he goes, and it is here in the Kokiri forest, the last haven of peace and prosperity on earth, that that man has chosen to visit, to seek out the power in which the ancients of this world and the divinities themselves carry and to use them for his own selfish gain. I managed to fend him off for as long as I could, but he was still able to cast this dreadful curse upon me and sap me of my power, all for the terrible might of the Triforce, which he did not find in this place and still desperately seeks..."
"Before time began, before spirits and life existed, the three golden Goddesses descended from the heavens upon the chaos that was Hyrule and created all essences of life as we know it, by names I am sure you know well: Din, the Goddess of power, Nayru ,the Goddess of wisdom and Farore, the Goddess of courage. These were the three, sent messengers of the Gods to create the land of Hyrule and all that inhabited it. Din: with her flaming arms she cultivated the land and created the red earth. Nayru: poured her wisdom onto the earth and gave the spirit of law to the world, and Farore: with her rich soul produced all life forms who would uphold the law. With their labours completed, the three Goddesses departed for the heavens and the golden, sacred triangles remained at the point where the Goddesses left the world, each piece signifying the traits of each Goddess, and ever remaining the basis of this world's providence. The resting place of the triangles becoming the Sacred Realm, the very place that that wicked man seeks to conquer for his own wretched demise..."
The Tree faded out then, eyeing me carefully, awaiting for my reaction. My response was hesitant, questioning, and I wasn't exactly sure if I wanted it answered or not.
"But... what does all this have to do with me?"
The great tree drew a quick intake of breath and turned his gaze away from me, his eyes distant as if they were stuck in a place long past. As he spoke he took on a stronger tone, causing a cold sweat to break out across my body. My muscles were stiff with tension when he began.
"Some time ago a bloody war raged throughout our country, led by many people savaged by greed and lust for the mighty power of the Triforce. They fought mercilessly to gain access to the Sacred Realm, and killed many innocent people with the fires of violence that they ensued over the course of the war. These people were ridiculed in the eyes of the Gods, who were disgusted by such petty acts of war that they, again, sent down their messengers, the three Godesses, who again visited Hyrule and together bellowed a mighty verse, heard by all Hylians across the land from the skies of the Gods: a prophecy, which goes like so...
'A dark flame across the land will ignite
Binding them all under the spell of darkness
And from the shadow, some will rise to fight
But all will fall under the valour of the dark king.
When all is lost, and hope is weak with the dim scent of death
A hero will arise from the depths of the obscure world
In the most unlikely of times, he will appear with courageous strength
And the power of the holy ones behind him.
Clad in fields of green and the woodlands that grow upon them
Swift as the river that labours time upon its slender back
With hair of spun gold, eyes of brilliant azure and a triforce of three upon his left
He will come.
Bearing the blade of hero's bane
He will return the lustre to this world
And seal the dark one away.'
And so the Goddesses cried, and it was heard by all across the land, great Kings and Monarchs, warriors and even the most futile of enemies. With those final words the Goddesses once again descended to the heavens to leave the people of their world to puzzle what they had spoken."
"War waged on for awhile after, but eventually, peace was found between both sides and the prophecy was recorded in the Book of Mudora - which contains a collection of Hylian legends and lore - and was, for the most part, forgotten, except by those of old, such as myself, who have an appetite for such things. Many years passed, during time you were born and raised here in the forest, where I have kept closetful watch over you, watching you grow into the boy you have become today."
My body was stone cold as I stared at the tree with disbelieving eyes and a weak expression.
" '...With hair of spun gold, eyes of brilliant azure and a triforce of three upon his left...' I stated, shifting my eyes to the scar that shone brightly from the crevice of my left hand. My face was twisted in shock. "It's... me isn't it? The prophecy, it describes me!" I threw my eyes up towards the tree, fear coursing through me, my eyes begging him to tell me otherwise, or his expression to narrow in confusion at such a ridiculous statement. The tree did neither, but instead closed his eyes slowly and opened them again, offering me a weak smile.
"It was hard for me to even consider at first as well," the tree said as my face fell at his words and I swallowed the bitter truth. "But the longer I spent watching you, seeing the way you reacted with the world around you, waiting for the tendencies of a normal child to come out, the more sure I was: Link, you are the Hero of Legends: the Hero chosen by the Gods!" His voice became excited as his words came to me, sharp and piercing in my ears. No. No, this couldn't be true... Could it?
"But what about Navi?" I suddenly asked, my thoughts coming to me in a rush. "What does she have to do with all of this? And why wasn't I given a fairy when I was younger?" Navi looked at me from behind her shoulder and met my gaze as I asked, the Deku Tree smiling as she turned to face me and speak.
"I'm not like other fairies, Link," she spoke sadly, nearly bitter as I listened to her in wonder. "That day that we met for the first time... do you remember it? We had a connection that day, and I actually felt something... I didn't know what it was for a long time and I didn't understand it, I didn't want to understand it. But something drew me to you from that day on, I followed you and watched you live in secret and I grew to hate what I felt inside of me for you. I envied the other fairies, envied the lives that they had, free of the emotional ties to their partners and I grew anxious, years passing as I waited and waited and was not given a child to mentor. I waited, each day feeling something new and stronger for you that I had ever felt before, and as the darkness began to fall over the land I felt what you felt and grew weary of it as well. Then came the day that the Deku Tree called me and told me to bring you to him to speak of something of very grave importance, and I knew in the pit of my stomach that we were set to be partnered, from that very day so long ago when we had that connection, and all of these emotions just came crashing back..." she drifted off as she looked away from me, ashamed. I stared at her for another moment before turning my eyes back to the tree as it began to speak again.
"The fairies of this forest are not born with human emotions, nor do they feel them." The tree explained softly. "Navi is the first that I have come across that feels the emotions of a human, yet it is only around you that these feelings are evoked inside of her. From her experiences that she has described to me, I can only come to the conclusion that the two of you were meant to be partnered, since the very day the two of you first met. The Gods have chosen her to help you fulfill your destiny, and to guide you along the path of righteousness with her wisdom and knowledge, and to be a friend to you when you desire it. She will follow you to wherever it is that you must go, and help you to the best of her ability, for the two of you are bound together by the unfailing ties of fait..." Our eyes met once again as he finished: blue on blue, exchanging thoughts that neither of us had the courage to say. Fear gripped our gazes, eyes furrowed upon our faces in a grim disbelief that confused both of us. My brain was a haze of new information, both realistic and unbelievable, more than half of which denied my former beliefs about the world as I knew it.
The two of us were connected: that much was painfully obvious. It was in the way that we understood each other – knowing exactly what the other was thinking without saying a word. I guess I should have realized earlier that the two of us were connected on a level deeper than that of the norm of the other fairies and their partners in the forest, but the realization that came to me now hit me like a stone, punching me through to my very gut instinct. I could tell that she felt the same way: we were bound to be together for a very long time after this. And with all of the new things that Deku Tree had relieved to me, it was clear that my life would not go back to the way it was with her as an addition. No... this was something bigger. Much bigger than I ever would have guessed days ago, when she had made an entrance to my house in the blaze of the morning. This was something old, entwined with the pages of old books and prophetic legends, kings and queens of ages long past, muling over a passage sent down by the very gods themselves, describing me. Me, the boy without a fairy, the outcast from the Kokiri Forest.
It was so near ridiculous that I almost contradicted myself directly afterwards thinking it, and yet somewhere deep within me, I knew it was true.
For years I had grown accustomed to my humble, uncomfortable life, ridiculed by the others of my kind and living with the own weight of my thoughts - the realization that I was different from the rest. I was never given a reason, no-one ever came right out and said, "Hey, kid! You're different, weird, a freak. Get over it!" No... This burden, it was merely thrust upon me, a weight that I, over time, became accustomed to carrying, going about my life with little thought of the future and trying not to dwell on how exactly I was different from the others. All this time had passed and such things were kept from me for years, whispers passed from ear to ear, unheard by my own.
I felt as if I were just part of some sick, cruel joke. I half expected someone to start laughing at me and saying that I had all made it up, brewed in this crazy mind of mine.
And yet the scar on my left, the traces of poison that scarred me were all too real; it was them that confirmed the brutal truth.
I was suddenly wrenched from my thoughts by another set of spluttering and coughing that ruptured from the great tree, and Navi's desperate whispering as she tried to sooth him.
"Enough, Navi." I heard him hiss through frail breath. "The time has now come. It can be evaded no longer..." Cold fear lumped in my throat as I came to grips with what was going on before me.
"...Go forward with haste, and do not delay, for I fear that I may not have much time left..."
My voice came in a choke, eyes wide, fingers spreading towards the ancient deity in horror.
"No..." I managed. "It can't be true! Great Deku Tree? What's going on? Tell me!" My voice grew to a roar as I finished, tears rattling my words with shock.
"The end is nigh, child." The tree hissed, eyes fading with his very intake of breath and the effort this seemed to cause him. His voice grew ragged as he spoke to me, with much effort now, as the tears poured freely from my eyes.
"You must never allow that man in black armour to gain hold of the triforce," the old tree groaned, dry leaves crackling in the wind. "You must never let his evil heart penetrate to holy world of the Sacred Realm; That man who cast the death curse upon me and sapped me of my power, because of him I must leave you now with the all that you now to face the scrimmages of this pitied land..."
"But Great Deku Tree!" I cried, eyes sunken in grief and fear. "What shall I do? Where shall I go? How can I stop such a powerful man from gaining hold of what he seeks?"
"Courage, child." The tree sighed, closing his eyes and smiling at me weakly. "I know now that it resides within you, for you proved it from within the very heart of darkness within the lair of the beast, and you show it now by accepting my knowledge with open ears and trusting me enough to recite it to you properly-"
"But I cannot do it alone!"
"No!" the tree cried, voice small but drenched in hope and spirits. "Yet you will not be alone! You will have Navi the Fairy to guide you, and you will meet others who will agree to help you for the goodness of Hyrule!"
I brought my eyes to him wildly as Navi watched me from high above, silent and still. "I thought my efforts to rid you of the curse were successful... Did I not achieve what you asked of me?"
The tree managed another test of his lips. "Your efforts were more than successful, but you must know that I was doomed before you started. A test - though with more elegant words I would use to describe it, but a test nonetheless - of your strength, your courage and your wisdom: each element of the sacred triangle, for you have a pure heart within you, Link, for each task was completed to an outstanding degree, and there are no more doubts in my mind that you have the goodness that is needed to purge this world of darkness and grasp the triforce with a strong heart."
I quieted then, realizing that there was nothing that I could do and that he had made the choice himself from the very beginning. It occurred to me then that perhaps the tree cared more for my own well-being than his own, despite sending me into the portage of shadow, but doing so because he knew that I would emerge in one piece after all. The thought caused more tears to spring to my eyes.
"What will I do without you?" I asked desperately, wondering aloud my own pointless misgivings.
"You will not be without me, for I will always be with you, in spirit and in heart, watching from the heavens above; and I will also leave you with a relic formed with the last of my strength which you will carry with you on your journeys; this is the very thing that that man wanted so badly that he poisoned me so wickedly upon my refusal to allow him to have it. I bestow it to you now, oh great Hero of Destiny, in the hopes that you will bear it well and harbour its strength for your own and allow it to lead you along the path of the greater good!"
And from the dark canvas that was the bark of the tree, a light suddenly emerged, engulfing the forest around it in an emerald shine. The light grew in strength until its tint fell upon my face and I could see through tear-soaked eyes that a stone was hovering towards me, kept afloat by the last remnants of the Deku Tree's power. It hovered before me, circular in size with a thread of gold twining around it in a swirling pattern, and I held out my hands to grasp it, eyes dry due to my wonder of the stone. The energy that it emitted was very powerful, and I could see, even as the light that it emitted began to fade away, the spirit that it held: for the stone shone brightly even in the dim of the sanguine world around me, glinting like a jewel but with an energy that I had never see inhabit a stone before. As I held it I noticed the triforce etched into my left begin to glow very faintly.
I moved my eyes from the stone held in my to in front of me where the Deku Tree again struggled to speak with me again.
"I wish I had the time to rejoice with you and tell you of the full power of that stone," the tree spoke, his voice now only a mere whisper that was brought to my ears by the tumbling winds. "But I fear that the time for passing has come; I have only mere minutes left..."
"No!" I cried again, the stone in my hands tumbling to the ground in silence, seeming only a mere object to me now and meaning nothing. "You can't leave us, Great Deku Tree! What will happen to the forest, the trees, the Kokiri?"
The old tree was so weak now, and I was shocked when he still managed to smile at me and speak in a happier voice.
"I suppose it is the only thing that I am not afraid of leaving," the tree sighed. "Yes, the forest will go on living as it has for years before I had been born, and it will stay the same for centuries after I have passed away. The forest will never change, neither will the inhabitants in it; Child, you are young and may not understand such things, but when things seem at their worst now, remember that they will always get better and a new generation will rise to take the place of old, along with it changes will be made – of good and evil alike – and the world will adapt to make way for those changes. The forest will again be a peaceful place, someday when my descendants have risen and taken my place on this very spot, and the children will go on living, forgetful of me and my teachings and be given the gift of mortality, thriving peacefully in this place and never daring to venture out into the world, for this is where they belong and this is where they will stay, until the very essence of time is erased and the world has passed so many years that the very first have been forgotten, and the past will be swept from their minds in their own quest to remain peaceful. Yes... this forest will remain the same, and the people who inhabit it will as well, for they are very silent and humble beings only merely searching for comfort in their lives. But that is not the life that you will lead, Great Hero! Oh, not at all! For after all this time, your hunger had risen for adventure: do not deny it for I have seen it!" The tree cried as I shook my head weakly. "And your thirst to purge this world of evil will not abide to you! Within you resides the last hope for this world of ours, for you were the one chosen for this task, and only you can complete it, for the sake of all that is good in this world, and the only way in which this forest will remain unchanged..." The tree abruptly began to struggle and cough dryly, a sound lacking its former energy and composure, dead leaves shaking from the tips of its branches and dropping silently to the ground as I watched hopelessly, not understanding why this had to happen now. I opened my mouth to speak, but the tree hissed at me through bared teeth, a thin sound that was reminiscing to a soft breeze that blew briefly through the trees.
"I have no regrets, for I have been able to speak to you of such matters." The tree groaned, bark creaking and snapping with effort and dangerous strain. "I am looking death in the face, however I am resisting for the sake of the new world! Link, listen to my final words: Once I have passed you must leave this place, for your future does not lie here, it resides far away to the north where it is you must go next. Do not fear, for you will not die once you leave the forest as the others of this place, and travel quickly to the castle that stands, surrounded by a great city made of stone; there you may surely meet the Princess of Destiny, and it is she who will guide you to where you should go next on your journey..." A shudder rippled through the old tree, and I reached a hand out towards him in pity, although there was nothing I could do. He seemed too swallow deeply and closed his eyes before speaking for the last time.
"The future of this world depends upon you, child." The tree hushed. "You are courageous enough... Navi the Fairy: help Link to carry out his destiny, and guard him to the best of your abilities! Shower him with your knowledge and wisdom, for he is the future of this barren world!" From above me I could see Navi nod faintly out of the corner of my eye.
"I entreat ye... Navi... Good-bye..."
And with a final exhale, the great tree's bark faded and instantly petrified; dry leaves showered from above and tumbled to my feet, branches gripping the air like thirsty skeletons, stock still in their last frame of clinging to life.
The tree never spoke or moved again, but instead stood still as a statue of the past, petrified in time and forever melding into forgetfulness, unheard and unseen.
Tears engulfed my eyes in hot liquid as the loneliness gripped me; although I had never met the tree until a few days ago, I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness and grief, shadowing my thoughts and snuffing out my hopes to make room for grievances. He was gone, and there was nothing I could do: and yet, I still felt as if it were somehow my fault, not killing the spider quickly enough or sleeping too long without helping him to make a recovery.
I wept more deeply than I had ever before, cries racking through my body as I mourned for the life of the old spirit, feeling more lonely and misunderstood than I ever had before in my life. Where was I? Who was I? There was no way I could believe even half of what the tree said... was there? It was all so sudden and changing, and with him gone, now I was the only one left in the world who bore the same thoughts.
What the hell was I going to do?
My weeping was short, as I felt as if my tears had already been spent earlier on in the cave, and my tears were dry as I was still very weary. Guilt instead wracked my chest as I sat with my head down, breathing heavily. I was ashamed under the dead stare of the tree, as I could not cry despite my grievances. Weakness snaked my muscles as I sat, head fuzzy with thoughts and emotion, and I felt utterly lonesome.
She did not come to me in those moments post his passing, but instead hovered silently above me, not facing me, eyes locked onto the distance.
She was too far away for me to see the tears drop from her eyes.
The days that passed were long and slow as they happen to be in the presence of one who is dying. I watched, feeling more sickly and heartbroken with every hour, in anticipation for him to signal to me to wake Link up, or try to help him, or something of the like. But I knew in my heart that it would have made no difference. His body was dying, bit by bit, numbing from the outside in under a wicked spell that I could have done nothing to stop.
I think he spoke to me once during that time, as speaking then was so painful a thing and lessened his time so much, and I suspected he was saving his words for when the boy woke up. His words were sore and bitterly forced, but still rung true to his wisdom.
"Watch," he said, at a time seeming random. "Watch and listen with ears wide open."
For the first time in all of my years of serving him, I had never questioned his word or thought otherwise of his orders. This was the first time where I truly doubted his sanity.
But still, I followed his word. I spoke nothing throughout the next few hours, wincing at his every cough, ears straining on his every word. Finally, at the end of the second day his voice came to me and told me to awaken the boy.
I stayed silent throughout the time that they talked. My eyes darted from each speaker, listening, questions foaming at my lips, but remaining contained within my body. I said nothing of the affairs of the boy or the new information that I learned about his past. My anger surged unbearably as tree spoke of the dark man that put him under such a curse, but words remained locked under my sealed lips. It wasn't until the Deku Tree had introduced me into the equation of his speech that I chose to make an oral appearance.
I wanted to explain to him exactly what I felt when I was around him. Perhaps if I was more controlled I would not have said anything at all, but I took that one moment in which I was even the slightest bit important to him to explain to him what I felt. Because I felt exactly what he did, even if I was a fairy. It was all very confusing to me as well, and half of it II still didn't fully understand, but I just wanted him to know. Maybe because I knew we had a connection deeper than that of the normal between a fairy and her partner, maybe because I longed for the comfort of another, I don't know.
But that was all I said. And I stopped when I had had enough, when those strange feelings started to overwhelm me and lap up my words and replace them with that strange liquid that seeped from my eyes. I stopped before I gave myself the chance to succumb to it: I wanted show the Deku Tree that I was still stronger than them, in his last minutes.
And I watched, screaming internally like some wild, carnivorous animal, forcing the liquid away from the pools of my eyes, biting my cheek to keep from screaming, as his breath laboured and his bark began to petrify, he exhaled for the last time, and that light of wisdom that had guided me for so long faded from behind his eyes.
The pain didn't come to me in a crashing wave as I thought it would: instead, it hung about my body, attacking it in small doses, a dull aching scar that was more unbearable than a crash would have been. I closed my eyes as my ears picked up the sound of him weeping behind me and my heart skipped in the moments that the loneliness rolled through me in convulsions. Never before had I felt so utterly alone.
He continued to cry, and I slowly opened my eyes as needle after needle of pain was injected into my veins and pumped through every inch of my body. The needless tears fell from my eyes without hesitation: It was too painful to put in the energy to try and stop them.
I realized then, the reason that he asked me to watch in his final throes. He wanted me to learn as much as I could without explanation individually to either the boy or myself; he cared so much that he asked me to be silent so that he could explain as much to us as was possible in his short amount of time.
I wrenched my teeth together as I realized his bravery. He put off death as long as he could on our behalf, threw away a gentle passing in the hopes that we would learn and carry his wish into the new generation.
It was all he could leave us.
What a terrible, terrible, fantastic creature.
I gave up the effort it took to keep me afloat. As the cold breath of the wind echoed mournfully against the nape of my neck I slowly fell into the soaking pool of my own tears, capping the blades of grass that covered the forest floor like dew drops of grief. His great roots were a pillow to my cheek, strength towards me even in the cold, dull aftermath of death.
Time was irrelevant. A minute was only a mere number in the presence of death.
Minutes became hours. The sun sank ever-lower in the sky, drowning in the red sea of blood that stained the sky above the hills in the west. The cold chill of night crawled lazily out of hiding and drew in breath around us. Dry leaves rattled like skeletons in the breeze.
Time slipped by.
Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
In time with a pulse.
Tick
Each heartbeat measured a second.
Tock
Blood squeezed throughout the body.
Tick
Tingling the tips of dead limbs.
Tock
It all comes back. And then...
A gasp of breath, the heat of tears. Grasping the blades beneath my hands, fine hairs on the heads of dirt.
A realization.
Death came and went. The souls of those who were lost have left, the bodies of the dead lie in cold remembrance.
But those who survive live on.
The sounds of the forest come back.
And all is not lost.
The moon is high when I awake. I don't know how much time has passed, how long I'd been laying there, below the eery skeletal structure of the Deku Tree, upon grass freshly painted with dew by nature's soft touch. A few stray strands of grass kiss my face as I open my eyes, mixing dew with tears as though in a quiet attempt to wash my face. As I sleepily look around me, I notice that fresh flowers have sprung up from about the dry roots of the Deku Tree. Navi lays somewhere away from me, head buried into patterns of wood in the tree's trunk. She looks so forlorn, so defeated that new tears come to my eyes. I wipe them away hurriedly. I'm tired of crying, tired of living as an example of a weak young boy. If the Deku Tree is really gone forever, if what he told me is what really shall come to pass, I have to learn to be strong and fight for the life of this forest, fight against the evils that infected the inside of the tree himself, the one diety I had thought had obsolute power in our world.
The world has changed drastically, I suppose.
Navi glows a faint blue, almost purple in her grief. And as I stare at her, a wind begins to pick up and sweep past me, whispering, soft to the touch.
"Go," it seems to be telling me, "Go to her, child of courage."
It takes a bit of effort to stand, but I manage to do so with a heave, shaking water droplets from my hair. I smooth my tunic, and as I do my fingers catch upon the hilt of the sword at my belt. Memories flood back, and my eyes absently travel back to the inky scar that's left as a reminder on my right hand. I stare, unthinking for a few minutes as I try to remember why the wound had hurt so much, and why it was gone now. The memory of my toils with the monster in the tree remain as the faint, bruiselike scar etched into the palm of my hand.
I take a final breath and turn my gaze back to the fairy that lies in front of me. Her head has risen up now, and she watches me with pale, milky eyes. An unspoken notion passes between us. My eyes seem on fire with electricity.
And again that strange wind blows past, picking up my hair in its touch and dancing with my tunic. I remain unmoving for a last second as that sullen voice comes to me again.
"Go..." it whispers, "Go, boy."
That's when my feet start to move under me and the distance between her and I dissolves. In a moment I stand above her, tall, serene, and my lips don't move but my words become clear to her as the wind is to me.
She blinks a few times, wonders at the pool of tears around her. She seems disoriented, strange, for her, as she's usually so on top of the world around her. It's then that I realize she's wise beyond her years, even in this bottomless state. This is probably the worst I'll ever see her again.
Slowly, as if bringing blood back into a wound, her wings start to move. She gently floats up, her face rock solid with undetectable sadness. Slowly, slowly she reaches my height, and then she keeps rising higher and higher until she's heads above me, in front of the petrified face of the tree. Drops of water fall from high above onto my face as I watch her. They're salty, totally unlike rain at all.
She hovers there for a moment, and she's so far away that I can't see her face. I can hardly hear her voice from the ground, but I can make out the weakened tone of it, broken with grief and crackling with inaudible tears.
She says only one thing,
"Good-bye... Deku Tree..."
And then, in a flash of blue light, she's gone over the gentle slope of the clearing, flying at top speeds away from me. Strands of light are caught in the air for a moment as she speeds away. I stand for a second, blinking until it occurs to me that I should run after her. I'm surprised at this urge in my legs to sprint after sitting still for, how long was it? A day at least. I faintly remember the glow of the sun as it fell under the hills, dying as the Deku Tree did. The memory causes me to wince, and I forcefully block it away.
With a clear head, my movements seem fresh, renewed. My thoughts are calm, questions numbered. I don't realize the extent of the journey I'm about to undertake, nor do I know exactly what lies in store for me in the future, but I do know that right now, I need to get as far away from this place as possible.
So I sprint after her, sword clanking at my belt, shield rustling behind my back, eyes focused on what seems the only direction right now: forward.
And I don't look back.