Cas pushed Dean away, holding his hand to his mouth. His eyes burning, "Cas- I- I'm sorry- I didn't mean–" Cas cut him off by holding his hand up. "Dean, please go." Cas said, dropping his hand. Dean reached out but Cas backed away, "Cas–"
"Stop it." Cas said, the tears had started falling. He knew this wasn't right, he was confused. "Dean, go, please." Cas wiped the tears away with his hands. Dean's eyes began turning bloodshot, "Cas-" His voice cracked. Cas cut him off, his voice harsh, all of his pent up anger was being released, "I don't need you coming in here and confusing me. I'm not a little plaything, okay? I don't want you to just leave me like I'm nothing, because that's what guys like you do, you hurt nothings like me. I can't be hurt again, Dean. No one cares that I'm broken..." His voice trailed off, his throat had a knot in it, and his chin was quivering. "I care." Dean said softly, Cas felt a pang in his chest. "If you do care," Cas said, "then walk out that god damned door and let me think." Cas put his head in his hands and Dean walked out the door, and slammed it shut. Maybe he would end it soon.
He stared into the mirror and saw the horrors. The horrors of which his mind created. His mind was a dark place, filled with his own demons looking for him. It was black, there was no hope, there was no peace, it was just his inner turmoil and signs of his own demise. The creator of all these dark things was hideous, it was a monster. It had created an ending that was tragic to no one else, but him. He had always hoped that someone, someday, would be there and shoot a flare, giving the signal that he wasn't alone in that place, that he would feel hope, but it never happened. His mind was an abyss that he would never escape from. But he realized that he had seen the horrid creator, and it was his own reflection.
He heard the voices get louder, telling him to end it all. They told him that him his story was over, that it needed to end, continuing it would be pointless.
But finally, he felt it. A spark.
There was a soft voice being drowned out by the harsh ones. It said: "I care."
That spark was hope.
Cas could hardly see, he had been crying so hard, but he knew where he had to go.
He looked over and seen the Impala and knew Dean was here. This was Dean's favorite place to go, they would come out here often and hang out. Play some music from the Impala and start a fire, maybe Dean would have a few beers.
He walked through and saw Dean sitting down, looking at the murky water. "Hello Dean." Dean looked up at him, his eyes were puffy. "Hello? Really? That's it?" Dean stood up, he was slightly angry. He then relaxed his shoulders and closed his eyes, "Cas, I shouldn't have kissed you... I should have known that you didn't like me back, I should have-" Cas cut him off by pressing his lips against Dean's. He pulled away, a dark flush appeared on his freckled cheeks. "I'm not good with my words, Dean, but I can't ignore you. I can't not talk to you, not hear about your day, not hear about your jokes, not even hear your voice. I can't go a day without seeing you." Cas laughed a little and put his head in his hands, "I'm so cliche and stupid. I'm sorry..." He lifted his head and gave a sad smile, "I'll leave you alone. You and Lisa are great for each other..." He turned around and began walking away.
"I don't want Lisa."
He stopped and turned around, "What?" Dean smiled and began walking to him, "I don't want Lisa." Cas felt his cheeks warm up, he grabbed Cas's hands, "I found someone better." He laughed a little, "Look who's being cliche now." Cas lightly pushed Dean. "So, what's going to happen with you and Lisa?" Dean shrugged and pulled Cas close and began walking with him, "I don't know yet. Plus, I'm pretty sure she was cheating on me with Todd." Cas looked down, "I'm sorry for ignoring you." Dean smiled, "It's okay, Castiel." Cas felt a shiver go down his spine, he liked it when Dean said his name. "Why didn't you grab a jacket?" Dean shook his head, "C'mon, lets get you some cocoa." Cas brightened.
They walked into Cas's house and went upstairs to his room. "I found my mom's Polaroid camera." Cas said while smiling. He grabbed it and showed Dean, which he took from his hands, "I call this one 'Blue Steel'." He stuck his lips out slightly and took a picture. Once it came out and you could see the picture, Dean handed it to Cas, "Treasure that forever."
Cas and Dean sat on the couch, Cas looked over at Dean, "Can I- can I hold your hand?" Dean laughed a little and grabbed Cas's hand, "Of course."
I'm sorry this is another short chapter, I just didn't want to get too involved with the relationship parts yet. I hope you enjoyed! I'll see you in the next one. - Glassie