11. Close Call
His face lit up as he saw me walk through the bushes to meet him. Jason smiled that very smile that made my heart melt. I felt like if I wanted to right now that I could fly and sore through the sky. Study hall did not come as quickly as I had wanted it to, but at last it was here. I don't think I have ever been this long without touching my Jason. I studied his features once again making sure I could not miss anything.
His eyes were still that same shade of a dark hazel, his honey-blonde hair was still curly at the very bottom and he still had those muscular calves-that he never used I might add. His brown shirt made his eyes pop out and I swear there is nothing more beautiful than Jason did in his blue Levi's. His arms still had those muscles that could knock someone out and he had a ring that I never noticed before. It was on his wedding finger. His face was still angular and round at the same time. His cheeks were still that red that made it look like he was blushing. Jason's skin seemed to radiate and it made him glow. He was perfect, for me at least. I don't think I could ever want anything more, other than Cody-my Cody-being dead.
I took that last step and our hands touched as I pulled him close to me. The warm touch of his skin seemed to send a slight vibration up my spine. I leaned into his chest, as he was taller than I was. He put his arms around my waist and back, straining me as close as he could to him. I saw the Goose bumps rise on his arm and neck, but he did not release his grip.
"I missed you." he breathed. I knew we both didn't want this moment to end. I backed up a little bit-still hard in his grasp-and looked into his eyes. They held my awed gaze and he smiled.
"Missed you more." I sighed. I could feel him shaking his head, debating on whom missed whom more. I heard Skylar walk away giving us some room and privacy.
"I love you so much, Claire. I really don't know how much to express how much I love you." he stopped dead. I knew he was worrying if he was becoming one of those boyfriends that said too much, or had too much feeling.
"I love you too." I was still staring into his hazel eyes, peering into his soul. I couldn't find one bad thing about him in there. It seemed like he could say the same thing about me. I could also see in his eyes the urging to kiss me again. I stepping on my tip toes and he leaned down and I felt his warm lips on mine. My hand clutched the back of his head, pulling his hair. He kissed me back eagerly, but this eagerness was too much. I pulled away and looked into his apologizing eyes.
"Sorry." He mouthed.
"There is nothing to apologize for so I cannot forgive you." I smiled and pulled him close again, inhaling his semi-perfect scent. I shuddered and he looked at me with a curious gaze. I took in one deep breath preparing to answer.
"Your scent. It confuses me so much. It smells so good, but at the same time it repulses me." I shook my head at how ridicules I sounded. I looked at him quickly making sure I hadn't said anything that would cause him pain.
"Does that mean there is something wrong with me?" his voice was anxious now. I'm sure he thought if there were something wrong with him that I would no longer find him attractive or love him.
I rolled my eyes. "You couldn't be anymore perfect for me than you already are. I love you, Jason. And by some miracle you love a monster." I flinched.
The bell rang and I knew students would be fleeing the classrooms. "At home." I whispered and disappeared through the trees. I felt his eyes still on my shape as I ran for the hills, literally. Cody was in his new room now and Angel was with Nick in "their" room. I didn't even want to think about what they were doing. Ew, my thoughts said. I laughed and I was in my room.
Skylar appeared with Jason coming through my window. I glared at his smiling face. "What?" he knew this look. "This is the only fun way to come up here." I checked to see Jason's reaction, and he too was smiling so I couldn't be mad.
Jason pretty much ran to me. I grabbed and wrapped my arms around him, feeling more relief now that he was here with me. Skylar made a small gagging sound and I threw one of my pillows at him. He dodged it and left my room.
"Did you have a good day?" Jason looked at me seeming startled and then looked down with a hurt expression. "What?"
"Your eyes." he sighed. I took in a deep breath. I stepped away and went to sit on my bed. He still stood there seeming frozen to the spot.
"I don't know how not to live like this without killing people." I explained. "I've tried to hunt animals, trust me I have tried, I just-it didn't help at all so I didn't know what the point was. I am I monster aren't I?" I tried to make it sound like a joke, but we both knew it wasn't.
"It's your way of life. You're not a monster and I love you. Nothing will ever, ever change that." His eyes glowed and his words were strong, a promise. He walked and sat next to me. Trying to make a happy mood I jumped up.
"I got you some stuff." I said with a cheery smile.
"Oh no." he groaned. He smiled a little bit; showing me it was a joke. I went to my closet, not daring to take my eyes off him for even one second, and got the big bag of clothes out and showed him everything.
"You got me clothes? You really didn't have to do that. I hate to think you guys are wasting you money on me." But I didn't let him say another word. I lunged for him as he gasped and tackled him to the ground. His face was wide with shock, but then it was calmer. I could hear Angel and Cody snickering downstairs from my episode.
"I'm not wasting one damn thing. What's mine is yours and that counts for money too. Besides I have more money then Ben Gates so I think I'm good." We both laughed at the comment and then he went silent.
"What?"
"You were looking at my ring earlier weren't you?" his eyes still held my gaze as my eyes flashed to the ring then back to his.
"Yes." How could I lie to him? "I just never noticed it before and so it caught me off guard, but I know what it is now so there is no need to worry."
"Then what is it?" he smiled weakly in his challenge.
"I believe you call it a promise ring." I knew all about these things they had.
"My dad got it for me after the first night you took me to your favorite place to "think". He even did air quotes with his fingers.
"Oh."
"I see you don't have one." Then he stopped and looked away. I pulled his face close to mine and I breathed out.
"No I don't, because it wouldn't matter to me anymore would it?" I laughed. I knew I could joke about this.
"Yeah I guess it wouldn't" his own laugh was fake.
"You really don't have to feel bad about bringing that up. It's my past and it doesn't matter to me anymore. Cody," I flinched at speaking his name and Jason noticed, "Was just a sick boy. He was something I never knew existed. And it was my fault that I believed every word he told me. There is one this I believe about him though. I think he did love me and that he didn't mean to make me a monster," Jason was about to object, but I held up a finger, "But I knew he meant to…to-" Jason put a finger to my mouth this time and I didn't stop him.
"Please don't." he whimpered. "If you're in pain I'm in pain. If you cry I'm gonna cry too, so your own suffering is mine too. You even said what's yours is mine."
"I didn't mean it like that." I instantly regretted saying those exact words.
"I know, but still."
"And I can't cry. When someone is changed into a vampire you become immortal. That means I'm frozen forever at the age of 18. It means that my body can't change at all. I can't have children, my hair cant grow, and I always be five foot five." The reality hit me again like the first time I realized it.
"Oh." He said as his stomach rumbled. He was going to say something, but I jumped up, alarming him.
"Your hungry. I'll fix you something."
"I can do it myself." He grumbled like I was his mom. Cringing I put on a fake smile.
"I always did the cooking for Sam so I'm used to it. Besides I love cooking. Even though whatever I make repulses me into the fiery pit of Hades." I smiled weakly at my own Joke and went downstairs to fix supper.
The days passed by without incident and now it was a nice Saturday. Jason was in his room packing his stuff. I walked in and opened the door so quietly he couldn't hear me. I found him looking at an old picture of his mom. He was smiling and a few tears trickled down his face.
"Need any help?" I croaked. He looked up and his tears were stronger now. He walked over to me and I put my arms around his neck. The water splashed onto my shirt but I did not care at all.
"I'm so sorry." I breathed. His hands slid down my back and pulled me close again. He lifted my chin to look at him. Jason tilted his head and lowered his mouth to mine. He was so soft, so warm, and so fragile. He pulled away and pulled me into his chest and held me there. I don't know how long we both stood there, but he let go and smiled at me.
"Love you."
"I don't know how you can, but I love you too." My face was just inches from his and I pulled him back to me. The scent of him had me intoxicated from it. I wanted him, but yet I knew I could never have him to myself. I couldn't get married like normal, but who would want to marry a monster. Especially one who the other knew their life could end at any moment because of that monster. It was so stupid.
"Listen if you two are done I would like to talk to you, Claire." Skylar's voice came from the door that stood wide open. He was smiling that perfect smile of his, and I knew that Jason would be feeling sick right now. The only thing wrong with this picture was that Skylar's eyes were closed.
I looked at Jason and then I followed Skylar out the door. He walked out the door and led me to a tree that was taller than the rest. He stopped at the top and looked at me. I didn't notice that his eyes were still closed. He turned away from me and took in a deep breath.
"What did you want to talk about?" I asked, getting to the point. I tried to get him to face me without being too forceful, but this suspense was killing me, literally.
"Something happened." He said. I was suddenly anxious. "It doesn't have anything to do with Jason so you can calm down." I relaxed a bit, but I knew there was something big that happened, that was the only reason Skylar would tell me in private, out of everyone else's hearing.
"Well?"
He took in a deep breath and then he turned to face me. He opened his eyes and a low hiss escaped my lips. His eyes were a bright red and I knew what he had done. How could Skylar do this? He looked at me with those pleading red eyes. Skylar looked down.
"I'm s-"
"If you value your life don't you dare say you're sorry. I know you didn't mean to. Its not like you hunted like this on purpose." I knew this wasn't his fault. He was the strongest here in his diet, but even the strongest mess up so I could never blame him. He smiled one of those rare thankful smiles at me and I jumped about 100 down to the ground. I was a whistle in the air and I heard Skylar's own feet thump as soon as mine did.
We walked back to the house, Angel, Cody, and Nick were a little shocked at his eyes, but they dared not to make a comment or they would have to answer to me. I walked to Jason's room, where Jason was sitting on his bed humming to himself.
"Would you like to go for a walk?" I asked. He looked at me like that was the stupidest question I could ever ask someone like him.
"Of course." Jason told me. I walked t the window, opened it and took Jason's hand, swinging him on my back. I jumped out the window and landed with a soft thud. I pulled him off and took his hand and began to walk down the sidewalk.
"So what did you and Skylar talk about?" he asked nonchalantly. I smiled and squeezed his hand a little.
"We talked about his misfortune in his hunting today." I waited for some kind of astonishment and when I heard none I glanced at his face.
"Oh. He uh hunted a human a guess."
"You say that like your not one yourself." I teased. I was laughing a bit.
"Well I guess I am turning my back against humanity." He joined in on the laughter.
We walked for about 5 miles. "Some small walk." He muttered under his breath. I laughed.
"If you want to turn around…"
"Don't be ridiculous." Jason's smiled almost blinded me for a small second.
We made our way to a small little park and we were walking down a trail.
"Can I ask you something?" Jason's voice filled the empty silence. He looked at me raising one eyebrow.
"Sure."
"Why me?"
"Excuse me?" I wasn't expecting that kind of question. It was so out of the blue.
"I mean you could have any guy you wanted you could have even gotten Skylar." He slurred his name. I knew there was a fight between them, but there was absolutely no competition between them for my love what's so ever.
"I chose you because you are the one my heart has been waiting for these past thousands of years." I can't believe how old I sounded. I wasn't paying any attention to where he was walking so I didn't know he was about to walk into a huge thorn bush until he already had.
"Ouch." He jumped out of the bushes but it was too late. Blood was dripping down his leg like a faucet of water turned on. He looked at me and for the first time he looked terrified of me.
The smell was so good that there was no way I could hold myself back. Jason tried to run and that's what triggered my predator instincts. I ran after him cutting him off. He ran the other way, but he slipped and fell. I growled as he cowered into the bushes. I had no control of my mind as I lunged for him. There was a loud crunch as one of his bones snapped in half. It was completely shattered. He shrieked in pain.
"Claire…" he pleaded, whimpered. "Claire, I love you, please stop." His voice was strained. Just as I was bout to bite his leg something hard crashed into me. The thing pulled me to the ground and flung me through the air.
"Claire!" Skylar growled. "Claire stop this now! Can't you see what you're doing?"
I couldn't think. Jason's scent was consuming every corner of my mind and it was all I could think about. And there was no way that I was going to let Skylar get in the way of this treat. I got into my crouch and leaped to get around Skylar, but he was there to stop me in a flash. He pinned me to the ground and I kicked him of with a thunderous crack. I turned to face my prey, my eyes wide with hunger.
As I looked into his eyes he reminded me so much of his mom and that day I killed her.
Thirst drove me as I ran through the woods. Skylar would be home soon and I had to hunt before he returned with Sam. Flashes of green went by me like a bullet. The wind changed direction and I caught the scent of something that made the venom in my mouth stir. I wheeled toward the aroma and I came across a campsite of a woman.
Her blond hair and her beautiful blue eyes were shocking to see. She was wearing a nice camping shirt and by the little luggage she had I suspected she was alone.
I stepped out of the trees and I looked at her. When she saw I was there she gasped. She backed away and I knew she knew what I was.
"Please." She asked. "I have a son. He's only 11. I'm begging you." I didn't respond at first.
"I really am sorry for this. I hate for being what I am, but I can't help that now." And then u killed her.
He looked at me with scared, tortured eyes. My mind was mine once again. "Jason…" I breathed. It was cracking from the pain of what I had done. I walked to him hoping he would forgive me.
"Stay away!" he screamed at me. I debated with myself and I was at his side in a flash, holding my breath.
"I'm so sorry." Then I ran. I ran all the way to Canada.
I sat there on the ground in Canada for a few hours. I couldn't believe on what I had just done. I had almost killed Jason, my only love. What could I have been thinking? I couldn't not face it any longer so I ran home.
The door was wide open as I walked in. Nick was at my side with Cody behind him. They put their hands on me, comforting me. I shook my head and jumped up the stairs. Jason and Skylar were both in the room.
I opened the door and looked in. Skylar turned his head and Jason looked at me with the same fear he had shown me earlier. He shrunk into his bed and Skylar walked up to me, rubbing his arm. I must have bitten him when I was trying to bite Jason.
I didn't even want to look in his face so I fell on my knees. I put my face in my knees and made no movement. Skylar came to sit next to me and wrapped his arms around me. I leaned into him and I sobbed tearlessly. This pain was so bad I didn't know what was happening. He rubbed my shoulder and my back. We sat there for a little but until I heard deep snores coming from Jason. I looked up to Skylar was watching me intently. His eyes were that same shade of red, but they weren't judging, they understood.
"I'm-" I couldn't even get it out before Skylar stopped me. He snapped my mouth shut.
"If you value your life at all don't you dare apologize to me." He growled. "It wasn't your fault Claire."
"But how did you get there in time? You were at home and we walked about 5 miles…" I was trying to figure it out in my head, but it hurt so badly I stopped.
"I followed you two." He admitted. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, but I'm not sorry that I did. I got to be the hero this time." He beamed like he won every award you could possibly get.
"He must hate me now. Did you see his eyes and how he looked at me? What have a done?" I leaned into he chest again while Skylar spoke. He held me close, but only the way a protective brother could. He rubbed my hair and twisted a strand of it.
"I talked to him while you were away. Yes he is afraid of you. He told me that he has never been more afraid of you until now," a low tortured hiss went through my lips. Jason shook, but he did not awaken. "Let me finish. He finally gets it though, what you were always trying to tell him. He gets that you're a monster and you could kill him at any moment. I believe he realizes it now. He also realizes that his love for you can never, ever change." He got up and walked out of the room without another word. I walked over to Jason's bed, making sure I was in control and sat next to him.
He looked so calm on the face. His arms were bruised and his right arm was broken. How could this poor boy still love the thing that did this to him? I rubbed his left arm and looked at him prepared to bed for forgiveness. His eyes flashed open and he jumped a bit. I leaped to the corner and just stood there.
"Jason I'm, I'm so very sorry. I didn't know what I was thinking. I heard you plead with me and I didn't react to it. I should have seen you walk into those bushes, but I didn't. I-I just can't believe I did that. I guess even creature of pure perfection isn't perfect." His eyes were still trapped on my face and I looked at him again. They weren't afraid, as much anymore, they were more of an understanding nature this time.
"Claire let me tell you a few things I learned today. One, you're a terrifying monster. Two, you almost killed me. Three, I pleaded with and you and it took on no effect." As I waited for the last one I realized that this must be Jason's way of saying goodbye. "And four, I could never be more in love with you then I am now." The words that came out of his mouth surprised me. He was still in love with me? Me? The monster?
"It wasn't your fault, what happened today. It wasn't mine either. You are what you are and I just didn't seem to want to believe that you could kill me. It awoke me today, so I'm going to be even more careful around you. I'm not going to make this any harder on you." He wasn't lying at any part of his mini speech. He was right and I was going to have to believe that.
"Ok." I said. I leaned over and very carefully kissed his forehead. He sighed in pleasure and closed his eyes. The dried blood had no effect on me so I was in control around him. I lowered my head so I could really kiss him. Even through all the pain, Jason managed to get his left arm around me and kissed me back. His sweat breath was warm and inviting to me. I knew what I had to do. I pulled away and looked at him with a great big smile.
"What?" he finally asked when he realized I wasn't going to tell him right away.
"I can make the pain stop."
His eyes went wide with horror. I gasped seeing where his thoughts must have taken him. Did he really think I would kill him?
"No." I said in an urgent tone. "My gift can give life. It restores things as well. I can make the pain stop and you would heal faster."
He breathed in softly and nodded his head for me to get on with it. I thought about how much I loved Jason and how I wanted to his paint o end. It may have been seconds in Jason's eyes for me to heal him, but to me it felt like I couldn't do it fast enough. Like I was taking all eternity. He gasped and he looked at me with exultant eyes.
"I can't feel it that much anymore. Great job." He praised me. I smiled as best as I could and sat next to him again.
"Claire?" Jason looked at me once again. I turned my head to see his face. It was serious again.
"Yes?"
"Did you ever think that this feeling with have for each other, did you ever think it was just a crush and were both teenagers who think were in love?"
"Yes I have thought of that, but in my defense I don't think the word "teenager" applies to me anymore." He laughed and I began again. "The thing about me is I have been through this life for a long time and I know that it is no where near over. I have looked for a mate without really looking. And then when I least expect I meet you, Jason Greenfield. Which is an amazing name let me tell you. I thought my life was already complete, but I didn't want to look for I already had everything I wanted in my life, I wonderful family. I never even loved someone besides…
"Have you ever thought you loved someone, but you realized that the girl you were with wasn't for you?" I shot his question right back at him. It took him a minute to think about how he was going to explain.
He opened his mouth then closed it again. His words rang clear and there was no mistaking his voice. "Before you came there was another girl, her name was Cindy. I thought I loved her and vise versa, but that was not the case. I caught her cheating on me with Trevor. At the time he wasn't my friend, but he didn't know about her and me. We both dumped her and that's how we became friends. Besides I am glad she cheated on me, because I'm positive that if she hadn't that we would still be together and then my life would be off by not being able to love you. I do love you, if I haven't said that enough." He cracked a smile and chuckled a bit. I took his soft warm hand.
"I don't want to hurt you anymore, Jason. I never wanted to. What you saw back there was an instinct when I smell human blood. I was also foolish for letting myself go this long without hunting. I am so very sorry." He held my gaze once again and said the last words that I deserved.
"I. Love. You."