Chapter 11: Baby Blue Eyes PT 2

Short Review for refreshers...

"What?! My baby is trying to come out butt first!? How is that even possible! She cant tell everyone to kiss her ass yet! Shes too small for that! Well maybe Andrew, never mind!" Jude was just as shocked as the rest. "Well sweetie evidentially it is, we need to prep you now, if we don't do this c-section soon or there will be some potential risks if you go into full labor Jude. Not saying that you aren't in full labor, I'm talking when you start to feel the unbearable need to push." Jude nodded at her words, letting the tears fall. Please god, just please! I can't handle no more. I just can't handle no more, she screamed from the inside. She just couldn't. She couldn't break down now, she needed to pull it together. Breathe Jude, Breathe, 1, 2,3, breathe.

Baby Blue Eyes PT 2

Jude looked around the room as if she were perfectly fine, but her mind was racing. People were running around her, saying a thousand things, talking about 10 different things that needed to be done before they could actually deliver the baby. A different looking doctor approached her with a fairly large looking needle and her eyes went wide. "OH HELL NO!" she scooted backwards on the bed, "NO freaking way! Where the hell do you think that thing is going!!" She shouted.

"Jude my name is Megan, I'm an anesthesiologist, I will be giving you your epidural for the delivery, it is better that you are awake during the delivery to minimize the effects of anesthesia on the baby. " The woman in the white coat told her. Jude looked at her as if she were the devil in disguise. "You wanna put that, that thing in my spine?! Oh no I don't think so, Now I'm seriously going home now. I don't do needles people!" Michelle approached Jude's side. "Listen honey, this baby needs to be born, and I don't mean to scare you, but if your labour progresses without this cesarean it could kill you both Jude, and I'm sure you do not want that." Jude nodded letting a few tears fall from her face, as Michelle helped her to sit up.

"Now Jude I need you to listen carefully, our nice nurse Michelle here will stand in front of you, I need you to sit Indian style and bend forward over your legs. You have to not move Jude, so if you have to scream anything just do not move, once we get this medication in, you will feel much better. You will go numb from the mid section down, and they can deliver your baby in no time." Megan told her moving behind her. "I think I'm going to puke," Jude muttered, she felt dizzy, nauseous very nauseous, why did she have to see that needle?

Michelle took Jude's hand in her own, giving her a small smile. She could tell by the look on the young girls face that this was hard for her; especially the needle. She looked up to see Megan waiting for approval to continue. Michelle looked back down at Jude and smiled gently. "Jude, hunny...Is it okay to continue?"Jude groaned. "Not by my standards, hell no!...But for my baby...yes. Continue..." She gave one nod, biting her bottom lip to prepare herself for the pain as Michelle took Jude's hands in her own again and gave her a hopeful smile. "Squeeze as hard as you need, sweetie." Jude was about to nod as she felt the needle enter her skin and a shriek shot through her body. She forced herself not to move or even tighten a single muscle, keeping her eyes shut as she squeezed Michelle hand hard. "Ohhh God I'm going to die! You people are going to kill me, I think I'm going to pass out," Jude felt the room spin around her. "JUST SHOOT ME NOW!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. "This is pure torture on the human body!" She began a stream of cuss words as the pain began to settle, before finally calming as it began to fade away, and for the most part, she didn't feel anything at all. She let out a long sigh of relief that it was over and looked at Michelle. "Thank you." "Any time sweetie, anytime," Michelle said helping to lay Jude back on the bed.

"I don't like not feeling my legs!!, I can't move my toes! What are you doing?" Jude asked, as she saw blue cloth being raised over the lower part of her body. "We have to keep the environment sterile Jude," A Nurse told her. Michelle looked down at her. "You're going to be fine Jude I promise." She moved a hand to wipe the hair out of Jude's face gently. "I wanna go home," She said softly as tears soaked the sides of her face. "I know sweetie, but it will be over before you know it,"

Jude felt funny as they lowered the top half of her body lower than her feet, she felt the blood rush to her head, another strange feeling, she could feel them touching and pushing on her stomach. Suddenly she felt short of breath. "I can't breathe," she said hushed. "I can-t breathe!" she said again. "Lets get 5 of volume into that IV of hers." She heard Megan say, as Michelle placed an oxygen mask over her face. "It's just from the epidural Jude, you will be just fine, there are a lot of people here, and if anything happens we will take care of it, we're not going to let anything happen to you." Michelle reassured her.

A Couple more people entered the room, as she heard the doctor say they were ready to make the first cut. More monitors were hooked to her chest, and a pulseox placed on her index finger. Jude felt like her muscles were going to come from her body, Jude looked around the room wildly, becoming more freaked out by the minute. She hated things being like this. She felt more alone than ever, and everyone had the upper hand in the situation here but her. She didn't like being open and vulnerable to anyone, especially at the hospital. She squeezed Michelle's hand tightly, and she turned to Jude with a small smile on her face. "It'll all be fine in a moment, sweetie. We're just getting final preparations going. It'll be done in no time."Jude nodded, though she didn't really care what they were doing. She wanted to be done, period. She wanted them to get away from her now. She wanted a lot of things she wasn't going to get.The doctors moved around so that there was a bit of space around them.

as they finally lifted the scalpel up. Jude's eye widened as she saw it, though the doctor probably hadn't meant for it. "NO! NO NO NO! Get it away!" She shrieked, glaring at everyone staring at her. "I don't care! You aren't slicing and dicing me! Not now, not ever!!!!!" Sadie chose that moment to rush into the room, practically dropping over the side of the door as she looked at the various doctors, and Jude tipped haphazardly on the bed. "Oxygenating your brain, eh sis?" Sadie teased lightly as she made her way over to Jude, not caring about the looks on the doctors faces."Shut up , Sadie. These doctors think they're going to turn me into a block of cheese with that grater he's got in his hand!!!!"Sadie struggled to hold back a laugh as she shook her head, taking Jude's free hand in her own. She nodded to the doctor that he could continued as she talked to Jude. "No hunni, focus on me. The doctor's not going to turn you into cheese, and its not a grater. Its a scalpel, and he needs to in order get the baby out."

Jude began to feel some pressure as she squeezed her eyes tightly shut. She wanted the world to go away right now. She felt them pushing on her stomach, and she hearing the suction to keep the blood away.

"Making incision into the uterus now, and we see a little butt Miss Harrison. It's definitely a girl! And man is she a fighter!" The doctor gently wrapped her hands around the babies hips, tugging, when the baby slipped from her fingers and managed to go right back inside. She chuckled and repeated her motion as a male doctor helped, this time tugging hard. Jude felt like her lungs had collapsed and in that moment the baby was out of her. She heard a small wailing signaling the baby was definitely not happy as they clamped and cut the cord, moving her to clean her up. "Oh my god, it feels like I can't breathe," Jude huffed. "Its normal hunni just relax you will be fine in just a few minutes," Michelle had reassured her for about the thousandth time that night.

Jude looked to Sadie for the same reassurance, and Sadie simply nodded. She had quite the smile on her face. She'd never planned to see cesarean done, but it was amazing, even though it had merely only lasted minutes. She was more amazed than anything. Jude looked over at the table where they were cleaning off her baby. She still had a bit of trouble breathing, but seeing that little girl made her feel so much better. Her baby girl had made it all these months and now, no matter what happened, she'd always have a part of Tommy with her. No matter what happened, they'd always have each other. Sadie wiped Jude's head off with a cloth before kissing her forehead. "I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner, Jude. I should have been..." Jude shook her head at Sadie, far too exhausted to say anything. In return after the nurses finished cleaning off the baby they brought her over so Jude could see her, as they sewed her up from the incision.

"She is perfectly beautiful!" Michelle smiled at her taking the baby from the nurse to place her onto Jude's chest for a few moments before they would whisk her away to run routine tests and clean her better. "She weighs 2.7 kilo's and she's just perfect," The nurse told her. Jude moved her head to look down into her daughters face, who had now quieted, she has her father's eyes, she thought, letting more tears fall but this time out of joy. She watched as her daughter settled into her chest, her own heartbeat soothing the baby.

"Do we have a name for her Jude?" Michelle asked her. Jude nodded. "Yes, Aniyah Lynn Quincy," Jude smiled and moved her arm that was released to touch her daughters soft face. She wanted to kiss her, which she did right before Michelle lifted her away. So they could clean Jude up and transport her to the recovery room.

"The baby won't be gone long sweetie, they have to run some normal tests, and you my dear have to go into the recovery room for at least an hour so we can be sure everything is fine, then they will bring her back to you when you are placed into a room." Michelle told her, and Jude nodded.

Jude nodded sadly, squeezing Sadie's hand lightly as they wheeled her out of the room and in to the recovery room. They got her changed into a different gown with new sheets and a fresh warm blanket before she she was placed back into the bed. She yawned sheepishly, settling onto the bed. She felt like she hadn't slept in years, though it was probably because she'd been asleep when she went into labor. Michelle smiled sadly at Jude and shook her head. "I'd love to tell you to get some sleep, but we have to have you get some fluid into your system and make sure every thing's working alright before that."

Jude pouted and nodded, pulling the blanket up around her. Michelle smiled again and walked to the door. "I'll go grab your sister , and then I'll be back with a drink for you..."

Jude still couldn't feel the lower part of her body, as much as she wanted to sleep she still felt as if she wanted to crawl right out of her skin, she wanted so badly to get up and walk, but she would probably fall. Her body was exhausted form the labor and the panic. Michelle had returned rather quickly with some ice water, which felt like heaven the minute she sipped at it.

Jude felt like time had flown by she was a little, no maybe a lot loopy from medication, but the minute they had settled her into her room she wanted her baby, feeling as if she were too good to be true she wanted to make sure no one would take her away. A nurse had come in to ask her some questions, and all she could say was "please bring my baby to me, I want to see my baby." This nurse wasn't as nice as Michelle, she decided she didn't like her right away. "Miss Harrison you need to calm yourself, we will bring your baby to you when we are finished up here. There is no need for impatience." The nurse said, she sounded cold and heartless to Jude. "But she's my baby..." Jude trailed off closing her eyes, she finished up her questions also signing some papers they needed for the baby. She wished Michelle had been the one doing this, just as the thought crossed her mind, Michelle entered her room to check on her. She had a likeness for this nurse that she just couldn't describe, she wasn't even sure why.

Jude put on a smile as Michelle walked over to her, seeing the look on her face. "You look upset?" She asked softly, straightening Jude's pillow behind her head. Jude shrugged. "Just one of the nurses was being...I don't know. Rude.."Michelle shook her head. "Some of the nurses aren't as happy working down here in Maternity. I'm sorry you had to deal with that." "It's okay, can I see my baby?" She asked quietly. "Sure you can they are bringing her in now. Jude turned to see a nurse wheeling the baby into the room, she smiled softly and placed the baby into Jude's arms. " I think little one here is hungry, we didn't give her anything because we were never told if you were going to breast feed or not," the new nurse looked at her softly. "I think I want to breast feed her, I was always told it was the best, and I want nothing but the best for her," Jude told her smiling down at the now crying baby, who'd lost her pacifier. It apparently wasn't satisfying enough.

Michelle held the baby for a moment as Jude situated herself into the bed, and unsnapped the side of the maternity gown so she can feed her daughter for the first time. The nurse showed Jude how to help the baby latch on, which she did quickly. At this moment, this very moment was possibly the very best moment of Jude's life. She nudged up the little pink hat her daughter worse to touch the side of her head gently, then clasped her small fingers with her free hand.

"You look just like your daddy Aniyah, he would be so happy if he were here right now. I wish he could see you. He would love you too so so much. We will be okay wont we little one," Jude continued to talk to her doctor, completely unaware of anything else around her. "We're going to be a team, and I promise you I will never ever let anyone hurt you, I promise I will always protect you." Jude let tears slide down her face at the thought of that. She was scared wasn't she? She didn't want to take Aniyah back home to Andrew. If he hurt her what would he do to a baby that wasn't even his.

Jude shook her head, she shouldn't be thinking of Andrew right now, this is supposed to be the happiest moment of her life wasn't it? Jude tried to force the thoughts from her head, just as Michelle pulled a chair up to her side. "Jude can I ask you something?" she was snapped form her reverie at the sound of the kind nurses voice. Jude looked at her smiling. "Isn't she beautiful?" "That my dear she is, she is an angel." Michelle looked at Jude sympathetically before continuing with her question.

"Jude I noticed some bruises, when I was looking you over, bruises in places that just don't happen by accident, and I wanted to offer you some help, you don't have to agree if you don't want to, but I think I know why you don't want your husband here." Michelle felt a bit uncomfortable asking this question, but she couldn't help but think that if she didn't do so no one else would.

Jude bit her bottom lip, looking up at Michelle. The mere thought of talking about that scared the hell out of her. Michelle squeezed her hand lightly. "Its okay, Jude. You can tell me...Whatever you say is confidential..." Jude let tears fill her eyes once again, nodding her head. "I don't remember or even know what I did wrong to him, he was so adamant on marrying me, saying he loved me so much and it didn't matter if I still loved Tommy, but I think it does, and its all my fault." Jude tried not to break down while feeding the baby. She couldn't scare her, hell she was merely a few hours old. "He gets angry really easy, and I'm scared. I'm sorry I'm really scared, he made me promise I would not tell, I shouldn't be talking about this."

"Jude listen to me sweetie, no one deserves to be abused no matter what, not only is it dangerous for you, but it is for this little one also, and neither one of you deserve this. What happened to her father was not your fault, nor is your husband getting angry and hitting you. People like him like to use power to keep control over people, and there is something wrong with his head. This is not your fault." Michelle felt tears of her own emerge, feeling pain for this young girl, she felt extremely close to Jude and she'd only known her for a night.

"He knew I was pregnant when he asked me to come live with him, he knew about Tommy, I just really wish Tommy was here, I wish none of this has ever happened," The baby had fallen asleep at Jude's breast now, Michelle laid the precious bundle back into the small bed to let her rest, as Jude finally broke and began to sob.

"Jude I know the last thing you would want right now is to go to a shelter, especially with a newborn baby, I have plenty of room at my house, I would really like it if you and Aniyah would come and stay with me for a while, it would be good for me too, I would have someone to keep me company, and you and little Aniyah would be safe," Michelle looked at Jude trying to read her reaction to her question. Jude looked away for a moment, then back to Michelle, I couldn't do that, I don't want to be a burden on someone else." Jude chewed at her bottom lip out of nervous habit. "You and that beautiful little angel could never be a burden on me Jude, and like I said it would be good for all three of us. Think about it sweetie," Michelle squeezed her hand gently, as Jude looked at her. She was scared, but she could tell by the look on Michelle's face that she was serious about this. "I'm sorry, but are you sure I mean, if I did I promise not to be in the way." Jude asked almost in a whisper. "I'm positive Jude never been more sure, I would really like it if you would, we could make up a nursery, and it would be a lot of fun, as soon as you are healed that is, don't want you painting walls in pain, but I have two extra rooms, that aren't being used for anything else, the baby would sleep in a bassinet anyways for now, so she could room with you until you're feeling better from the c-section...No one would even have to know." Michelle finished. Jude looked her in the eye for a moment, before nodding. "Okay, yes. If you really want us we will come and stay with you. I don't want Andrew to hurt me anymore, and You're right I don't think I can handle a shelter right now. I can't tell anyone else either..." Jude trailed off again.

Michelle squeezed her hand gently again smiling, the released Jude's hand patting her leg she stood up. "Great!, we will make plans, but first you have to get some sleep while the little one is asleep, you wont be getting much of it now." Michelle said. She leaned down and gave Jude a hug, before leaving the room to let her get some sleep.