Thank you to everyone who read and those who clicked the review button. I actually replied to some people and I will continue to do that. If you can review, I can reply and thank you, personally :o)
Chapter Twelve
"Seeley, this is not about you, or us. It's about me and what is best for me. So, you are going to have to accept it. "
He heard her words, however, he had a persisting thought needing to get out, "If I had told you sooner how I feel about you, would you have still had the procedure done?"
Her words seared through him, "Yes."
"Why? Why don't you want children?" His voice now a bit more tense along with his body and they remained in the same position, sitting facing each other on her bed, with a sheet wrapped around them.
A small, nervous smile formed on her lips as she prepared to tell him why. She shifted her body to separate a bit from him, as the position was becoming uncomfortable to maintain, both physically and emotionally.
"I look around at the children who were brought into this world, without much thought, who go without food, proper shelter and often, love. I had a good childhood, great in fact but, then, well, we both now how that changed. Parenting is for life, not when convenient. I have thought about what if I turn out like my parents. I couldn't bare to know that I was the one to leave another child I chose to bring into this world, to fend for themselves."
His heart once again swelled with emotions as her words actually made some sense. He knew Temperance Brennan would never abandon her child, however, she had doubts and they were her doubts.
"Tempe, if I could go back in time and change what your parents did, I would." He wrapped his arms around, and pulled her close to him.
"I know you would," Tempe replied fighting the urge to explain that going back in time is impossible. His gesture made her smile and she held him tighter knowing that in his arms, she would always be safe, and loved.
"I applied to be a Foster Parent last week," Tempe said as she lightened her grip on his back.
Seeley stopped his hand from moving up and down her spine and smiled to himself. He leaned back and softly cupped her face with his hands, leaned in and kissed her lips ever so tenderly.
"That is wonderful Tempe," he whispered into them.
"I have to be approved first. Anyone can bear a child but to become a Foster Parent, everyone but the CIA is involved.
Seeley laughed at her comment but knew it was true.
"I will need three character witnesses. I asked Angela and Jack, so I need one more person. Would you be a character witness for me Seeley?"
"Of course, Tempe. Any child will be blessed to have you as their foster mom."
Smiling inwardly at his comment she wasn't ready to acknowledge it and instead continued, "I called around and children over the age of ten are still the most challenging to place. Not much has changed," she said as she lay down on the bed and started to pull the sheets over her.
Seeley followed suit and pulled her close again, knowing that she too had been a challenge to place in the foster care system because of her age.
"So I could be a foster parent to a teenager." Tempe pondered the images in her mind seeing three people at her dinner table. Not now. Later.
She turned to meet his eyes and in that moment, she knew she was right where she wanted to be in life. A career she loved; great friends and a man whom she loved more than she ever thought possible. A week ago, she was alone and now. Now she was with Seeley Booth, her work partner, best (male) friend) and hopefully soon, her lover.
"I want to show them what no one ever showed me; unconditional love."
"I love you unconditionally Tempe," Seeley said as he stroked her with his fingers and watched as they slid through it with such ease. "When do you find out?"
"I was told at least a few months, and then they have to do a home study, which could take another three months. Who am I fooling, myself? I work long hours, have a father who is on death row, a brother in hiding. I can't even remember to water one plant. How am I going to remember to feed a child?"
"Hey, you won't forget to feed your child. You just won't, trust me. Just take things one step at a time and if it's meant to be it will happen. I'll be right here, supporting you."
His arms snaked around her pulling her close and they lay there for several minutes, silently, as thoughts of life and each other, poured through their minds. Seeley was the one who broke the silence, with words that both startled and perplexed Tempe.
"I envy you Tempe. You have a past you can talk about," he said and then closed his eyes wondering if he really should pursue this avenue of talk.
"You envy me for being able to talk about my parents abandoning me when I was fifteen?" Her voice was hard; her eyes even harder. Envy?
"Just listen to me okay?"
Tempe nodded as she saw the color rush from his face.
"You can talk about your past. Me? I can't. Not even to a doctor or a priest. If I had known the impact it would have on my life, I think I might have said no. I thought I could handle it and then when I realized it was slowly seeping into my core, I was in too deep. I was the one they called on. The one they trusted to get the job done. I couldn't say no. When I left the Rangers, I turned to gambling to distract me. It was a less obvious addiction, well, compared to alcohol or drugs. It wouldn't look good for an FBI agent to go to work drunk or high. It was more acceptable to go in broke."
Tempe held his hands in hers as she continued to listen with surprise and empathy realizing she wasn't the only one with a past of unpleasantness.
"I made a lot of money while on missions and managed to save most of it. Well that was until I left. Something was missing. The rush; the high. I know it sounds bizarre, almost non human like to have those emotions when stalking your prey. When I said it was inhumane for that sick bastard to do what he did to those girls, it brought back memories of how I have taken a life, of someone I didn't know. That I had taken orders from our government to take the life of another human being because theydeemed it appropriate. I could go on but it doesn't do any good. Tempe, I have accepted my past and moved on. It has been a big part in the making of the person I am today. Although I could live without the nightmares that come in random spurts." He gently outlined her lips with his thumb, taking the moment too appreciate the beauty of them, "And had I never left the Rangers, I most likely wouldn't have met you." A smile that would light up the city played across his face.
"Is that why you carry that poker chip around, to remind you that gambling is addictive?"
He grinned. "Something like that. After Parker was born, I knew I could never go back to that life style. Money isn't everything but my son needs to eat and have clothes on his back. And I don't ever want him to go without something because I couldn't deal with my past in a way that wasn't self destructive."
"IfIdivulge back into my past will you help bring me back to the present?" she asked.
"Of course," he replied as he bit his lower lip trying to keep his hormones from going insanely wild at that moment. Nice and slow Seeley. "How would you like me to do that?" he asked.
His lips touched hers as his hands moved up her spine until they reached the back of her neck. Tempe leaned back into it for support as his mouth trailed kisses across her neck and down her chest, stopping to nibble on her nipples. "Like this?" he whispered into the soft flesh.
"Yeah, just like that."
"Or, how about like this?"
Seeley laid her down gently on the bed, his mind and body only focused on her. He took his time to make a path down her body lingering at her inner thighs. When Tempe tightened them around his head, he gasped for a breath and instinctively pushed outwards and immediately made his way up and down, and around her aroused sex with his mouth. Pleasure swept through her. He was being far to soft and gentle to bring her to climax. He knew that as well. He reached up for her fingers and slowly brought them down to meet his mouth.
Tempe groaned, and then a wave of words propelled form her mouth and Seeley stopped his ministrations for a brief moment. Did she just say that? He dick hardened to unprecedented proportion as erotic images danced through his mind.
He was quickly brought out of his reverie, as Tempe guided both their hands to her opening. As they slid in and felt the tightening of her muscles around them, they heard a faint sound of knocking at the front door.
A/N: It took me forever to write this chapter and when the last line popped into my head this morning, I knew it was complete, the chapter, not the story :o)