"With your breathing, filling up my lungs

I can almost believe that I'm almost enough

Spent all of my life emptied of anthems

And bracing for something that never did come

Sunshine, I'm beginning to like this"
"Suspended"

~Matt Nathanson~

Holy shit, Bella! Did you just invite Edward to stay the night?

When the elevator door whooshed open, I stepped inside the small metal box and didn't look back at him. How utterly mortifying. He must think I'm a complete lunatic. One minute I'm insisting we remain friends, the next I'm raping his mouth with my tongue at a bar and behaving like a hussy asking him to come up to my place.

God! You're ridiculous, Swan!

The door slid quietly closed behind me and I pressed my forehead into the wall, watching my breath fog up a small round spot on the metal.

The elevator started to move, even though I hadn't pushed a button yet. I turned very slowly, feeling every single drop of alcohol that I had consumed sloshing through my veins, causing my body to feel like it was floating.

Oh. Oh! Look what you've gotten yourself into now.

He was standing on the other side of the elevator watching me like a lion would watch his prey. Quietly assessing me. His eyes burned into mine. My skin crawled with awareness. His head tilted slightly to the right, his eyes never leaving mine.

A giggle erupted, starting in my chest and escaping before I even knew it was coming.

What a great time for drunk Bella to show up. Why did I have to drink so much tonight? Why did I allow Jake to keep plying me with alcohol?

I placed a hand over my mouth in horror.

Edward raised an eyebrow in amusement and a smile worked its way slowly across his handsome face.

I couldn't even bring myself to speak. My insides were warring with each other, to jump him or not to jump him... that my dears is the fifty million dollar question.

Oh, trust me, my hormones and my lady bits were definitely in agreeance with the jumping him part, but my brain, that was still somewhat functioning, was blaring a warning siren and flashing lights.

The elevator came to a stomach twisting stop, my eyes still glued to his face as the doors opened once more at my floor. Stepping out into the hall, grabbing my keys in a vice like grip, I started walking toward my door. My heart, thundering in my chest, was the only thing I could hear. It was amazing how Edward made no noise. I knew he was behind me, I could feel the intensity of his gaze on my back, but I couldn't hear him. Not his footsteps, his breathing, his clothing didn't make any rustling noises. It was almost creepy.

Twisting the key in the lock on the door, I turned to look over my shoulder at him. He was a lot closer than I thought. Edward's cologne tickled my nose, he smelled warm like clove with a hint of fresh citrus. He looked down at me, I couldn't tell exactly what he was thinking. His green eyes were clear, alert, but showed no hint of what he was thinking or feeling.

Pushing the door open, I walked in, kicking my boots off in the hall. The door closed quietly behind me with a soft click, I heard the lock moving into place and shuffling as he removed his shoes.

As I passed a small table at the end of the entry way, I dropped my keys into a bowl, emptied my pockets of my ID and credit card and turned in time to watch Edward take a final step toward me. His large warm hands came out to hold my face and he lowered himself, bringing him to my height, looking me directly in the eye.

"Bella," his voice, low and strong, caressed and stroked the flame building in my stomach, "I'm not gonna lie, I want to be with you. But if you want or need me to stop, we won't do anything you don't want to do."

And then drunk Bella joined the party again. Because she's just so much fun.

"When I saw you, before you saw me, on the street, all I could think was that a bus was going to run my ass over to get me to stop staring at you. I felt like a full on perv checking you out from behind my camera. I took pictures."

Oh god. Oh god, Bella! Shut up! What in the hell are you doing?

I groaned quietly and bent my head.

"Alcohol. Makes me all sorts of ballsy and chatty. You must think I'm an incredibly insane person." I shifted slightly, looking back at him, his hands still gently holding my face.

"Bella, you are not incredibly insane. You're not even insane. I promise." His features were soft, his eyes smiling at me. "There is nothing wrong with you. At all. You're allowed to look at people you find attractive. You're allowed to be attracted."

He was quiet for a while, just watching me. His hands holding me. I wasn't sure what he was looking for. If there was something specific he was digging for. He must have found what he was searching for because he leaned into me, his lips warm and soft, lightly brushed against my own. Sparks shot through my spine. I could feel my elbows and knees tingle, but I was completely immobile. I couldn't move.

He whispered quietly over my lips, "Il vostro cuore canta al mio."

That's when things took a giant step toward weird, because that's when I decided to pass out.

~xOx~

Her breath whooshed out across my face as her eyes fluttered and the weight of her entire body slouched into my hands. I quickly moved to grab her around the waist, one hand moving swiftly to cradle the back of her head.

"Shit, Cullen. You really know how to liven up the party."

I lifted Bella easily into my arms and turned toward the hall to find her bedroom. I walked past the bathroom and eyed the last two doors, nudging the closest one open with my big toe.

Bingo!

Using my elbow, I flipped the light switch and blinked once as the room lit up.

Holy shit. I'm in Bella's bedroom.

Fifteen year old Edward was giving me a giant fist bump and props. Going where we'd always dreamed of going. I looked down at Bella's pale face. She looked so peaceful. I was going to have to ask her if this happened often, or was it just me who sent her crashing to the floor.

I laid her gently on the large bed and took a good look around the room. It was definitely not what I expected. I found myself smiling at the princess-like headboard. White carved wood that swooped and dipped with intricate details leading to a point at the center. It was padded and covered in a shade of golden yellow. The foot of the bed was the same white carved wood, the detailing was pretty awesome and it all rested on four claw style feet.
Yellow curtains pulled back, gave view to city lights twinkling across the night sky like stars.
There was one nightstand with one very girlie looking chandelier lamp perched front and center. A glass half full of water sat on top of a photography magazine.
Bella sighed quietly in her sleep, calling my attention back to the woman in bed.

Should I change her into something not so.. constricting? I knew first hand that sleeping in jeans all night is never fun the next morning.
Moving quietly, I unbuttoned and unzipped her pants, pulling them down over her hips. My tongue about fell out when I saw the pink lace panties underneath. They were the kind that looked almost like shorts, but not. Jesus. This woman was going to give me a heart attack.

I quickly pulled her white comforter up over her bare legs to her waist. I folded her jeans and placed them on top of a plain looking white dresser.

Deciding it was a good idea to find some motrin, just in case she happened to wake up, I made my way back to the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. My heart sank as I took in the many prescription bottles. Anxiety, depression, sleeping... and a few others. I knew in my heart of all hearts that I couldn't "save" her. She didn't need rescuing. But she did need a friend to listen. I just couldn't decide if it would be a conflict of interest if she didtalk to me.

I grabbed three motrin, closed the cabinet and wandered back into Bella's bedroom. I set the pills on the magazine next to the glass of water and then turned the light off.
I crawled gently into the bed next to her and laid on my back, staring at the ceiling. My thoughts wandered to what she had said earlier, about watching me from across the street, that she felt like a perv. It made me laugh. At the same time, I felt sorry for her. That she felt she had to stop herself from being with someone because of her past. A past we shared and viewed in very different ways. Something we experienced together, at the same time, but in such different emotional capacities, that had us dealing with the demons in our own ways. I was very certain she was still struggling, though I wasn't quite sure how to broach the subject with her.
Funny, how though my job is to council people, I couldn't figure out how to open a discussion with Bella. Perhaps it was because I was emotionally attached to her. I didn't want to see her hurt. Or suffer. But here I was, laying next to her as she slept, knowing she'd most likely taken two of those prescribed medications today.

Just as I was allowing my eyes shut, Bella mumbled in her sleep, rolled over and caught me off guard when she dropped an arm across my stomach. Her slender fingers dug into my side, gripping my shirt.

"Don't go. Don't.. " it was all I could make out before she began mumbling again. I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her closer and whispered, "I'm not going. I'm not leaving, Bella."

She pushed her face into my side, breathing heavily and then heaven to my ears, she spoke again,

"Stay, Edward."

As if I had any choice.

I woke slowly, very aware of the heavy warmth pressing me into the mattress. It took me a few minutes to completely swim out of my sleep fog.

My eyes opened slowly and took in my surroundings. Yellow curtains, grey sky, fuuuuck, I slept in my jeans and they had twisted very uncomfortably around my waist. My wallet had made, what I hoped was not a permanent indenture, in my right ass cheek.

Warm breath fanned across my neck and throat. I glanced down, Bella's head was resting on my shoulder, her nose touched the side of my neck. Her arm was still around my chest, but now her bare leg was on top and twisted between both of mine.

I dropped my head back on the pillow and stared at the ceiling.

Fuck me, I wanted to wake her up with kisses in inappropriate places and listen to her moan.

I glanced at my watch, eight thirty. I would have woken her, but I got the feeling she rarely slept so soundly, I didn't have the heart to disturb her.

I drifted in and out of sleep for another twenty minutes before I felt her begin to stir. She scooted closer, rubbing her entire body up the length of mine. Her leg moved up and down over my own. Just when I thought I would lose my shit, her lips touched my neck, right under my ear. I could hear her soft breathing and my pants grew impossibly tighter.

I screwed my eyes shut, barely breathing, attempting to keep my hands to myself.

Bella's hand patted my chest once... twice.. a third tentative time. I heard her breath pull deep inside her chest and her body became absolutely still.

"Good morning." My voice barely above a whisper greeted her.

I heard her squeal and felt her attempt to pull the comforter around herself. As she pulled, her grip slipped and she rolled straight to the floor with a loud thud.

"That's gonna leave a mark. Ouuuuchh." Her voice seemingly coming from thin air as I tried hold back my chuckle.

"Edward."

I watched as first one hand and then another appeared on the bed and then her face peered over the edge, eyes wary.

"Bella."

Fuck, she was beautiful. Hair in disarray, wide brown eyes gazed at me, framed in long heavy lashes. Lips full, almost pouting.

"Close your eyes." She muttered at me. I kept watching her, a grin moving across my lips.

"Why would I want to do that, Bella?"

She huffed a breath and I watched as the hair that fell across her forehead flopped up and then back down.

"Do it! Just.. close your eyes. Or turn over and look at the other wall." She arched an eyebrow my way.

"The way I see it, and trust me, I did see it, is that after you just spent the last, ohhhh.. twenty minutes rubbing up on me, you have nothing to be shy about."
She was going to think I was an absolute pig. I couldn't help the short bark of laughter when she glared at me.

"I can't help what I do in my sleep. I thought you were Chris Carrabba." She smirked.

"Who?"

Who in the fuck is Chris Carrabba? What the shit.

She laughed.

She laughed at me.

I leaned over the bed, grabbed her arms and dragged her back up to the mattress, pinning her under me. Holding her hands at the sides of her head.

Between fits of laughter she finally explained.

"He's a singer. Dashboard Confessional."

Her eyes, so alive, her face radiated happiness. It was the first time that I had seen her this way since we had been reacquainted. I never wanted it to end. God that her smile didn't do it for me.

Her laughter stopped suddenly and she pushed her hips tighter against mine. Her eyes darkened, her breathing became shallow. And my body became absolutely rock hard.

~xOx~

Waking up to Edward was delicious. Until I realized what I was doing and freaked out. I honestly thought I was a dreaming that he was there. That he was warm in my bed. Solid against me. Arm around me.
The fact that I was truly rubbing up on him with wanton abandon just about sent my entire body up in flames from the heat of my blush. Of course it couldn't end there, I just HAD to fall out of bed. I just had to. And he had to laugh. I would never recover from this. If there truly was a monster under the bed, I prayed that he would pick this moment to reach out and grab me, pull me under and put me out of my misery.

Feeling up on Edward in my sleep, was nothing compared to having him on top of me, holding me down. Heat. All I could feel was his heat and something very very hard between my legs. I couldn't stop my response to him. My body moved of its own volition. I wrapped a foot around his lower leg, a shaky breath leaving me.

My fingers wiggled, just one touch. His hands tightened around my wrists and his eyes closed. I watched his face contort as he struggled with his composure.

"Bella, are you sure?" The words came slow and quietly in a soft breath that made me ache to the core.

Was I sure? I was definitely very certain that sex with Edward would be absolutely hands down the best experience of my life. Was I sure though that I was ready for what sex with Edward would bring?

His mouth caressed mine, his tongue swept leisurely over my top lip. And then he was moving away.

"Let's go get some breakfast, Bella."

I didn't know what to say. I was grateful that he seemed to be able to read my mind, yet, at the same time, god I wanted him.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter 3

Il vostro cuore canta al mio "Your heart sings to mine."