Thanks to everyone who read or reviewed the last chapter, & a special thanks to those following this story. You're all stars!

I just want to briefly respond to a reviewers comments about Bella's ability to have children. Normally I don't take a reviewers opposing personal opinion to heart because whether they're for or against this story, they still took the time to share their opinion with me. But I cannot help but take the comment "She has no years left to have a biological child" personally.

I have many friends who, for either medical or personal reasons, were unable to have children until they were in their thirties/early forties. My own sister had here first child in her thirties after being told for years by doctors that she would never be able to have children. Yes, there is a greater risk of having a child with a disability the older the mother is, but I don't believe that 40 is too old &, as a mother, I believe that children are a blessing regardless of how & when they're born. I was in my late teens when my son was born, so I know what it's like at the other end of the spectrum too.

Off my soap box & on with the show...feel free to let me know what you think.

Quick thanks to my psychologist for helping with this chapter, I've changed the gender but, as requested, I've given Edwards doctor your surname because it always makes me chuckle.

:-D

Disclaimer: Not mine, not even close.

EPOV:

The room had a light homely feel, pale timber bookshelves line the far wall, pictures of family and friends carefully arranged on the desk. The room was unassuming, deceptive as to its purpose, and far less intimidating than the woman standing beside its small kitchenette.

"Would you like a drink before we begin? Coffee? Tea?" she asks, smiling warmly.

"Just water, thank you," I say, taking a seat in one of the plush leather chairs. Although I have been in this room, sat in this chair, many times in the last two months, I'm more nervous now than I've ever been, having more to say today than I have in the past.

Placing our drinks on the table, she takes her place in the chair opposite me, picking up her pen and notebook. Her demeanor now screams professional, she's in doctor mode.

Despite my reluctance to seek counselling, my desire to merge my past and present was beginning to affect my personal and professional life. I was zoning out, daydreaming in front of my students and colleagues, obsessively searching my surroundings for anything that may trigger a memory. Worse still, in my quest to reconnect with my past, I had neglected those around me that needed me now, in the present. It was my guilt that led me here, to this room.

Doctor Victoria Feely had come highly recommended, having successfully treated patients with similar injuries as mine, in similar situations. I was grateful for any help I could get.

"So Edward, how have you been since our last session?"

"Good...good," I mumble, nervously tapping my fingers against my leg. "I've started reading the journals that my Aunt sent me."

"And these are your old journals, yes?"

I nod my head. "From when I was in high school."

"And based on what you've read so far, what have you learnt from your journals?"

"So...so much," I say, waves of guilt washing over me. "She was right, everything she said was true. God...she was telling the truth all along."

"By she, you mean Bella?"

"Yes," I whisper, staring down at my hands, Dr. Feely quietly taking notes.

"Okay, well we can talk more about Bella in a moment, but right now I'd like to talk more about your reaction to reading about your past. For example, did it trigger any new memories? Repressed feelings?"

"I don't know," I say. "It felt very surreal. I knew they were my words, I recognise my own handwriting, but because I don't remember ever experiencing any of those things, nor writing about them, it just felt like I was reading about a character in a book...like it wasn't me."

"So you felt as though you couldn't make a connection or relate to the you from your journals?"

I nod.

"But you were expecting that you would?"

"Yes," I sigh. I had been hoping that all I would have to do was read a few pages and it would all come rushing back to me, but it had only left me more confused. "I guess I'm just disappointed, I thought for certain that these books would be the key to unlocking my mind, that I would suddenly remember everything. It was disheartening when it didn't happen."

The sound of pen scratching against paper stops as Dr. Feely places her notebook on the table, pausing to take a long sip from her mug before she begins what I am sure will be another lecture on my attitude to this process.

I had heard it all before. During our previous sessions, she had urged me to not look for miracles, that discovering the truth was more important than actually remembering anything, but after everything that has happened, I'm understandably wary of naively accepting information from others. I just want one memory from my childhood that is mine and mine alone.

"Have you considered hypnotherapy?" she asks, surprising me. "I have had patients in the past that have found it successful, but if you are interested, I would encourage you to fully examine the pros and cons of this type of therapy because although you may recover the good memories that you want, you may also recover unpleasant ones such as the accident and your parents deaths."

I nod again, solemnly. I had considered hypnotherapy in the past as it had seemed like the easiest solution, but there are still some traumatic memories that I would selfishly like to remain as they are now. Forgotten.

"Well, take some time to think about it and if you decide that it is what you want, I can refer you to a colleague of mine who will conduct the therapy, okay?"

"I will. Thank you."

"Great," she says, picking up her pen and notebook. "Now, let's talk about Bella. Have you attempted to contact her again since we last spoke?"

"No," I shake my head sadly. "Not since she told me not to. She...she still calls Alice every week to catch up, which I know Alice really appreciates her doing. Apparently she's having fun, she seems...happy."

"And you are upset that she's enjoying herself?"

"I'm not upset," I say defensively. "I understand why she's doing this, and honestly I want her to have fun. What I don't understand is why she wants to cut all ties between us, why I'm not allowed to contact her."

"Edward," Dr. Feely begins gently. "Bella obviously needed this time to focus on herself, to reassess her life, not unlike what you yourself are doing, and I believe that it is healthy for both of you. But sometimes in order to do that, we need to separate ourselves from any factors that may influence our decisions. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes," I say, because I do understand, because it does sound reasonable, yet it does nothing to calm my fears about what Bella's adventure might mean for her future, for mine. "I just...I mean, what if she decides that she doesn't want to return to Forks? That she doesn't want me?"

"Then you have no choice but to respect her decision," she says. My shoulders sag, I'd secretly hoped that she would take my side, tell me to chase Bella until she's mine again, but as much as I miss her, I know that would be wrong. I want Bella to come back because she wants to, not because I pressured her to.

Dr. Feely clearly notices the change in my demeanor, my acceptance of defeat. "Let me ask you something. Apart from leaving, did Bella ever give you any indication that she was not intending to continue her life in Forks? Or that her feelings for had changed since she has been away?"

I don't have to think hard about her question to know the answer. Yes, Bella had left, but still had the store, her house, her friends, and although she hadn't asked me to wait for her, she had assured me that eventually she would be back. The answer was clear.

"No."

"And there is your answer," she says, smiling sagely.

I leave her office moments later, armed with knowledge, options and more confidence than I've had since the day Bella left.

I didn't need to remember, I could find the truth myself another way.

I didn't need to harass Bella while she was gone, I knew she was coming back.

And I didn't require promises of love and a future with her, I could feel it in my heart.