I think I lost some of my loyal readers/reviewers with the last chapter, sorry if it disappointed some of you. I'm hoping that maybe some of you just haven't got around to reading it yet, but are still reading. This chapter is very emotionally heavy and was difficult for me to write, I hate causing the characters pain but by the end of the chapter we are in a whole new place with lots of realisations. Also this is quite a long chapter, I hope you enjoy it!

It had been 3 days since the incident, that's what Caroline was referring to it as, anyway, and Damon was...different to say the least. He had compelled Bonnie to forget her involvement and convinced her that the bruises were from an accident at Cheer practice when the pyramid collapsed. He had insisted that he was fine and that he didn't feel anything, continually telling Caroline that vampires didn't have to feel if they didn't want to. He still had his swagger and the mischievous smirk she had grown to enjoy, so much, when his lips wore it. But, she knew something was different, she could see it in his eyes. On the outside he looked as handsome as ever but she knew on the inside he was torn up and in agony.

Caroline had tried everything she could think of, explicit sexual scenarios, her blood, and even talking to him about it, but nothing seemed to rouse him from his depressive state. She knew Damon was never a man of many words, only when he was threatening her or luring her into bed did they ever really indulge in conversation, but, she yearned for him to open up to her. She had sat with him every night, reeling off things about herself in an attempt to get him to share memories, his loves in life, anything about himself, but, he just appeared mute or changed the subject. They hadn't had sex, since, and Damon had pretty much cut himself off from the outside world, locking himself away in the boarding house and hunting and killing at night, refusing to see anyone but Caroline.

She didn't know why she was even bothering; the man had been willing to throw her to the wolves and yet still, she was reluctant to leave him. The thought nagged her mind daily and today was no different, her mind screaming at her just as she knocked on Damon's bedroom door.

"Hey, it's me" she said softly, but heard no response.

Caroline quietly opened the door, peering around it to find him sitting on his bed reading, a bottle of bourbon in hand as he flipped through the pages, just like she had found him every day since, the incident.

"You know, carry on drinking like that and you're going to drink yourself to death"

"I'm already dead" he replied bluntly, his eyes not leaving the book as she sauntered over and sat on the bed beside him.

He shot her a fleeting glance as the mattress shifted under her weight.

"What's on the agenda today?" she said brightly, looking over at the book.

"Gone with the wind, it's about..."

"I love that book" Caroline quickly cut him off "We read it in English class, Rhett is my favourite" she beamed.

"Hmm" Damon acknowledged her decent taste in men, having always seen himself among the Rhett's of the world.

"I brought you some blood, it's still warm" she offered him the mug full of her own blood and frowned slightly when he shook his bottle of bourbon to dismiss it.

Caroline sighed and sank back on the bed, she was starting to feel like a piece of furniture, never doing anything, used every now and again. It was like she was his best chair and it was beginning to wear her down. He owed her, he was meant to be proving that he wanted her around and indulging her with affection, not pushing her away. Why was it, that it was always her feelings that got hurt? She was alone without him but she was beginning to feel alone, with him.

"Let's go out, it's a nice day, we can enjoy the sunshine"

"I'm a vampire, I don't do sunshine" He continued to read his book, trying to block out the sound of her voice.

"But you have a ring; you can go out in it"

"Yes, but I won't enjoy it" His tone was dismissive and cold.

Caroline sighed and sank back into the bed for another couple of minutes, watching him flick the pages of the book and swig at his bottle of bourbon, and feeling herself become more invisible by the second.

"We could go to the movies? That doesn't involve being outside, we can watch any film you want. Or out for dinner" she smiled and turned to him.

"Do you ever give up? Why are you still here? I wanted you dead, does that not mean anything to you?" he spitefully spat at her, immediately regretting his outburst as he watched her eyes swirl with sadness, her strong nature fighting back the tears that were filling her eyes.

Caroline turned away from him, quickly sweeping her fingers under her eyes to catch the falling tears, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

Damon placed the book on the bed and reluctantly put his hand on her shoulder, planting tender kisses across her delicate skin. "I'm sorry".

"Don't" Caroline shrugged her shoulder to push his hand away.

"Caroline" he spoke softly and frowned slightly as she pulled away from him and stood from the bed.

"If you don't want me here, I'll go, but you don't have to be so mean about it" she sniffed and swept the tears away from her cheeks. "I know you're lonely, I'm lonely too, so I know what it feels like. You're hiding behind books, bourbon and killing, but, I can see you're hurting and soon you're going to lose me too. You're killing me, Damon."

"What do you want me to say, Caroline?" Damon lost his temper and stood to join her, his hands clutching the tops of her arms in a tortuously tight grip "I'm hurting, is that what you want to hear? I lost the only person I ever loved, I'm alone and the person I loved never loved me back. Do you know how that feels?"

He turned away from her and ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

"No, but I'm beginning to" She whispered, her voice cracking with emotion as she picked up her bag off the floor and walked towards the door. She hesitated for a second, hoping he would stop her, but he didn't, she knew he wouldn't.

Day 1: Denial

Damon's eyes flickered as the sun crept through the crack in the curtains and beamed around the room. He grumbled, pulling the sheet over his head, cursing the sun for rising and wishing for the night to return. The sun was his enemy; it was bright and cheerful and spoke of new days to come, everything that Damon was not. He yearned for the night and how it spoke to him, the cold chill a match to his icy porcelain skin, the darkness parallel to the monster that lurked within him and the black inky recesses of his mind. He wanted the night to live forever and strangle the sun, never wanting a new day to come. He yearned for Katherine and his mind ran over the night at the tomb over and over again. What if he hadn't searched properly? What if she had been set free years ago and he wasn't there to greet her? Would she think he didn't love her and leave? Was she alive? Was she killed back in 1864? Was she ever really in the tomb? What if he had waited too long and she had desiccated into a pile of dust? It was love, he knew it was love, Katherine loved him, he was sure of it, and he had not wasted 145 years of his life longing for her. They would be together again.

Damon rolled over, a soft groan escaping his lips as his eyes fell upon the small amount of bourbon that filled the bottle. Drinking eased his pain but his head was pounding. His eyes were heavy and the sunlight ate into them like a razor against his skin, oh, how he longed for the night. He clutched the bottle of bourbon and quickly unscrewed the top, not bothering to sit up before he took the necessary swig he needed to start his day. A low moan sounded from deep within his throat, whispering past his sumptuous lips as the pain eased and satisfaction of intoxication began to take over. Alcohol helped him forget, the deadly elixir took him back to happier times, his memories with Katherine floating around in his clouded mind, swig after swig making them seem all the more sweeter. Katherine loved him, he knew she did, he just had to find her.

Caroline lay in her bed, her eyes fixed on the small red digits of her alarm clock, a sadness filling her eyes as the number changed and her alarm sounded. She yanked it from its plug socket and pulled the covers back over her head, she was not in the mood for school today. As soon as the duvet tented over her head she was with him. Her eyes flickered shut as she imagined him there, the soft cool touch of his velvety skin against hers, the chill of his breath against her heated lips, the feel of his heavy body on top of her fragile one, they way his eyes pierced into hers, the slight curl of his lips as he smiled at her and she smiled back. He wanted her, she knew he did, he was just sad at the moment, that's all, he would come around.

She wanted to stay in her bed forever more. It was safe here, under her duvet in her imagined world with Damon. He would join her soon and they could be together. The world was cruel and evil but her bed was warm and comforting and smelled of him. He would knock on her door and scoop her up and make love to her, he would, she knew it.

Day 2: Anger

Why is this happening? Why isn't she here with me, now? The thoughts collided around Damon's mind as images of Katherine flashed before his eyes. He had thought of her all day the day before and hadn't managed to come up with answers. He was being punished for what he was and the innocents he had killed. Anger ebbed through his body as his mind jumbled with endless scenarios, his memories mixing with a distorted reality. Maybe Katherine was punishing him? Maybe she had seen how cruel he was and all the pain he had inflicted upon others, maybe she didn't love him at all. A low growl emanated from his lips as sat on the floor, a picture of her held dearly in his hands. Why, why, why? He yearned for the feel of her skin against his, to thread his hands in her thick raven locks and to feel his lips against hers. He wanted to hear her moan again, wanted to hold her in his arms forever and hunt for and with her. They were predators and they were destined to be together, forever. So why wasn't she here with him?

Damon stood from the floor, rage bubbling to the surface of his being, angry tears stinging in his eyes as his mind haunted him of memories past. Red spidery veins webbed under his eyes as a primal glow took hold of his eyes, he had never felt so alone and he blamed the world for it. He pulled the drawers from his dresser, launching them across the room and indulging in the crashing sound as they hit and shattered on the hard floor. Growls spilled from his lips as he tore his room apart, smashing mirrors and lamps, punching holes in the plaster of the walls, ripping his sheets from his bed, his blood smearing across the crisp whiteness of them as his bloodied rage engulfed him. He was vicious and angry, why him? Why did he not deserve love?

Caroline sat on her bed, hugging a pillow. Why hadn't he come for her? What was wrong with her? She was always second best, it was never her, but she thought things were different with Damon. For all the pain he had caused her, for all the sadistic assaults he had inflicted upon her, the sweet moments outweighed them. He made her tingle whenever she was around him and smile like never before. He made her cry but he also made her happy, she was herself through and through when she was with him and she felt every emotion under the sun. Her life wasn't fake with him, it was real and she needed it, missed it.

Caroline hopped off of her bed and wandered into her closet, picking up photo albums, hoping that memories of her old life would make her realise that she didn't need him, that she could be happy without him. She settled on the floor, her legs crossed, tucking a curl behind her ear as she flipped open the album. Caroline glanced over the photos of her and her friends, memories of cheer camp coming back to her, her birthday parties, school dances and summer holidays. To anyone else it would appear that she looked happy in the photos, but, as she looked closer, she could see the sadness sparking in her eyes, captured on camera, forever immortalised as the girl who never had love. Tear flood her eyes and her lip quivered as her thoughts returned to Damon. He was the only one who had ever made her feel any different but, he didn't want her. He wasn't here, and he wouldn't come for her. Anger radiated within her, feeling her body pulse with rage. Tears rolled fluently down her cheeks as she tore the photos from the album one by one and ripped them into tiny pieces, sobs pouring from her opulent lips as she rejected her old life and yearned for her new one. She was angry with the world and everyone in it, nobody had ever understood her, except Damon, so why wasn't he here?

Day 3: Bargaining

Damon stood in the shower, steam clouding the room and frosting the mirror as hot, soothing water pelted Damon's milky skin. He laved soap over his muscular form, suds forming along his pelvis as the water washed away his anger. He knew what he had to do, he had to pray to God and tell him that he would be a good vampire as long Katherine was returned to him, a deal so to speak. Damon allowed the water to creep into his raven locks and dribble down his face, splashing onto the ceramic base, desperate to clear his mind so that God would hear his plea. This was a onetime thing, he needed to get his words right, he needed the big guy to listen.

Damon pressed his hands against the tiles, indulging in the feel of the warm water, praying for it to wash away his sins so that God would answer his prayer. He bowed his head in respect and allowed his mind to fill with thoughts of Katherine, believing that if he spoke with love and sincerity then he would be answered. Whispers spilled from his lips as he began to speak, devotion accompanying his words as he prayed.

"Dear God, I know I'm a vampire and an abomination to all things pure and good. I know I have killed and been cruel and taken pleasure in causing others pain but I'm willing to do whatever it takes for forgiveness. I seek atonement for my actions; I ask nothing in return but for you to return her to me. I love her, I need her and I promise that I will never cause another human, harm. I will never kill again and I will forever pay penance for my wrong doings. Just, please" Damon looked to the heavens, a pleading tone to his voice as he spoke "Please, return her to me".

Caroline paced up and down her room, her phone in hand. She stared at the screen, flicking from Elena and Damon's numbers, she needed to do something, would do anything to get him back, she needed him, her life was meaningless without him. An exasperated sigh departed her lips, her hands shaking as she began to type out a txt to Elena. Elena was the last person, who was likely to help her, but she was her best friend and she was counting on that fact. Caroline sat on the edge of her bed, her foot absently tapping as she sent the txt and waited for a reply, her fingers fumbling with each other as she bit her lip nervously. Thoughts collided around her mind, she would do anything for Elena if she could get Damon to talk to her, bring him back to her. Caroline knew that Damon had a soft spot for Elena; hopefully he would listen to her, although she wasn't so sure after their spat at the Founders Party. Maybe Elena could get Stefan to talk to Damon? The thought buzzed in her mind and she began to bite her nails as the seconds seemed to take longer to pass.

A few minutes later Caroline picked up her phone and dialled Elena's number. She hadn't seen or spoke to her since the Founder's Party, but she had deduced that it was Elena and Stefan that had gotten her home and locked Damon in the cell. She could convince them that Damon was better and that he needed her, she knew she could.

"Elena. Hi!" Caroline said with urgency.

"Hey, Caroline, how are you feeling?" Elena spoke softly down the line.

"I'm fine; I just need your help with something"

"What is it? I picked up the work you missed in class yesterday; I can drop it round if you like?"

"No, No, it's not that. I need you to talk to Stefan for me and get him to persuade Damon to talk to me"

"Caroline are you insane?" Elena's tone instantly changed and she sounded as though she was about to go into a rant.

"Elena, please. You don't understand I need him" Caroline begged.

"You don't need him. Can't you see what he has done to you? You used to be this strong girl who loved cheerleading and would never miss a date with her friends. He has turned you into some clingy girl who can't live without her boyfriend."

"Sounds familiar" Caroline retorted angrily and referenced Elena and Stefan's relationship.

"Caroline, this isn't about me, but if you're going to be like that then I'll talk to you when you're feeling more yourself"

"No, No. Elena please, just get Stefan to talk to him, please"

"I'm sorry, Caroline, but you need to stay away from him."

Tears welled in Caroline's eyes as Elena hung up, and she sank down to the floor and pulled her knees into her chest. If there was a God, he clearly wasn't listening to her.

Day 4: Depression

Alone. The single thought revolved around in Damon's mind. The love of his life never loved him, he had lost her forever and now he was alone. He stared into space, the flickering flames of the fire reflecting in the tears of his eyes. He had wasted his entire life, everything he had lived for was a lie and he had caused misery for nothing. He missed his human life, being a vampire only reminded him of her. He had drank her blood willingly, hoping that one day they could be together, but it was all part of her manipulative game and he had fallen for it and ended up alone. Damon took a swig from his glass, his face void of emotion as he continued to stare into the burning embers of the fire. He felt as though they were scorching him, the smoke choking him of his life and leaving him in a dark hole of misery. How was his life ever supposed to mean anything without the one he loved? He didn't want to be alive without someone to love, even Caroline had left him.

His thoughts turned to Caroline and more tears glazed his eyes. He had been so cruel to her and she didn't deserve any of it. No wonder he was alone if he treated people the way he had treated Caroline. She was innocent but fiery and reminded him a lot of Katherine if he really thought about it, although she was a lot nicer than Katherine. He was so wrapped up in Katherine that he hadn't really noticed it before, but, she was, beautiful and lovely wrapped in one. Why oh why had he forced his evil ways onto her? Why had he pushed her away? He didn't blame her for not being here, he had done things to her he was not proud of, but, he missed her. If he let go of Katherine, it was Caroline that plagued his mind, the smell of her, the feel of her heated skin, her adoring features, her innocence, her feistiness, her annoying qualities and her laugh. The way her hair curled in the morning when she woke and the scrunch of her nose when she smiled. He always knew it was there and he was aware that he enjoyed her but he wasn't prepared for how alone he would feel when she wasn't around. He had lost Katherine and now he had lost Caroline too.

Caroline sat staring at the wall. These last few days she had experienced a whirlwind of emotions but now she just felt empty. Maybe she could take something to numb her? Her thoughts turned to the pain meds she had in the cupboard in the bathroom from when she had broken her arm in a cheerleading accident the year before. How many pills would it take before she felt nothing? No pain? No loneliness or feelings of inadequacy? How many pills until she blacked out? How many pills until she never woke up? Or maybe she could replace this emotional pain with a physical one? She gave a fleeting look to her nightstand, glancing at a pair of scissors, until the book under the scissors caught her attention. Twilight; still open on the page where Damon had stopped reading. She grabbed the book and glanced over the page "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb. What a stupid lamb. Sick masochistic lion" Her eyes drank in the words. She was both; the thought entered her mind and plagued her for a while. She was a masochist for wanting to be with someone who continually hurt her, but, she was his lamb and he was her lion. No, he was her Edward, a dark version, and she so desperately missed him. She felt empty without him, like a part of her was missing and she could feel herself spiralling into depression. She needed to do something; she needed to let him go.

Day 5: Acceptance.

Damon hadn't been able to stop thinking about Caroline since she entered his mind yesterday. He paced his room, allowing his mind to indulge in every inch of her. He could see it now, Katherine was a manipulative bitch who never loved him, she was a cold hearted beauty who had played him and he was better off without her. Caroline was warm and inviting, he had seen it in her the first time he laid eyes on her and the more he thought about it, the more he wanted that warmth. She accepted him for who he was, she was the only one who ever had. She was there for him when he needed her and had only left because he pushed her away. She was beautiful and kind, ditzy and fun and he wanted that. He had started to feel for her before the night of the tomb, he had been jealous and possessive and he knew he was falling for her, he had just been blinded. But, now he saw clearly, he really did want her and he wanted her to want him too, he just had to prove it to her.

Caroline rolled the material of her dress down her petite form, peering at her reflection in the mirror as she smoothed her hands over the fabric of her dress. She had decided something, it had taken all the strength she had, but, she had finally decided. As much as she wanted to be with him and as much as he made her feel alive, he was bad for her, and this last week was proof of that. No man should have such control over someone's emotions that they would think about hurting themselves. He was like her drug and she had an unhealthy addiction that she needed to shake. It would be the hardest thing that she ever did, but she needed to tell him, needed to tell him she didn't need him anymore and that she was going to move on. She was tired of being second best and as much as it pained her to admit it, that was all she was ever going to be. He needed to know that she wouldn't settle, that she deserved more and that her future wasn't with him, she just needed to tell him that.

He would tell her, as much as he hated saying how he felt, he would do it if it meant he could keep her and make her his. He would be hers eternally, as long as she would be his. He was scared, but he wouldn't let her slip through his fingers. If Katherine taught him one thing, it was that love doesn't wait around. He may not be in love with Caroline but he knew he could grow to love her, he was sure of it, he just needed to tell her.

Damon grabbed his jeans and pulled them, rolling a shirt down his muscular form, slipping on his boots and jacket as he quickly exited his room. This was it, he would admit how he felt and make it up to her, she would be happy and she would be his. He smiled as he descended the stairs two at a time and hastily made his way to the front door, taking a deep breath before he opened it.

Caroline quickly got in her car and sped off to the boarding house, driving with speed so that she didn't go back on her word. She would end it, tell him she was moving on without him and she would be happy. She swallowed thickly at the thought of being alone and tightened her grip of the steering wheel as she drove, desperately trying not to turn back. A nervous feeling crippled in the pit of her stomach as she pulled up at the Boarding House, her hands shaking slightly as she prepared herself. She could feel her palms getting sweaty and she felt sick. She was giving up on him and it was killing her, but wanting him was killing her more. Caroline glanced into the mirror, taking a deep breath as she checked her reflection before exiting the car. This was it, the thought revolved around in her crowded mind, the door opening just as she was about to knock.

"Damon" she said surprised, feeling her resolve almost breaking as she feasted on his gorgeous appearance, but she couldn't let it affect her, she needed to do this.

"Caroline" Damon gulped, drinking in her beauty, making him surer than ever that he wanted to be with her. Seeing her made him realise just how much he had missed her and he couldn't wait to hold her in his arms once again.

"I need to tell you something" Caroline spoke softly, lowering her eyes from his intense gaze.

I hope you liked it and that it didn't disappoint. So Damon wants Caroline but Caroline wants to move on. How will Damon woe her? Let me know what you thought and please review.

See you next chapter.