Just Like Asthma

Stories of Seth, Ryan and Sophie through the eyes of the parents that love them

AN: Me need Seth prompts. If you have any ideas please let me know - I have a lot Ryan ideas, and some Sophie, but very little Seth. Thank you.

This is another inconsistency in the show that bothered me.

Enjoy.

Quitting

Season 1

It wasn't that simple, just demanding that he stop, Sandy knew that.

He had seen enough people go through it to know that there was no way it would be that easy. Hell, he'd gone through it himself.

And Sandy knew that Ryan was still new to the living situation and to being held accountable, but still he thought that the kid would at least make it through his first week without breaking the only rule he'd given him so far.

The first time he smelt the smoke before he saw it. Rather than walk through the pool house doors like he intended he quietly made his way around the small house to see Ryan leaning slightly against one of its walls, beside a few tall plants, smoking.

"Hey"

Ryan jumped slightly when he saw him but didn't attempt to put it out, instead glancing at Sandy before looking dead ahead and taking another long drag.

Sandy gave an awkward cough and continued.

"I don't know if you remember, but your first night here I said there's no smoking in the house"

The boy blew out the smoke through his nose, only letting a ghost of smile show as he replied.

"I'm not in the house"

Sandy rolled his eyes in amusement but then held out his hand. Ryan didn't make any protest as he handed the pack over.

"Got any more I should know about?"

Ryan turned away, taking the time to flick the ash off his leather jacket.

"No, not that you should know about"

Sandy had to bite back a grin. Only Ryan had the ability to make the comment sound completely innocent.

"Look, if you need help quitting… I can -"

"I don't need your help…. What I mean is… I got it under control"

Sandy looked skeptical but kept his mouth shut.

"We'll, Kirsten's got dinner waiting so we'd better get inside before it gets cold"

He could that Ryan was following quietly behind him by the smell of the smoke.

He didn't smell anything coming from the pool house or see any cigarette butts littering the yard, so for a while Sandy did think Ryan had it under control… until…

Sandy was in the kitchen talking to Seth, who was completely unwilling to deal with the next day's events and had no problems showing it. At some point during that evening, as he was half listening to his son's tirade, he was reminded that Ryan was sent to take out the trash and had yet to return. In search of him, Sandy found out why.

Sandy leaned against the wall beside him.

"I thought we talked about this"

"Yeah"

Ryan looked appropriately guilty but took another puff anyway.

The wind blew behind them making the swirling grey clouds float away from the house rather than towards them and Sandy was grateful.

But it also made the weather chilly and as Sandy rubbed his arms in an attempt to keep warm he realized that Ryan had been standing out here the whole time with no jacket.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?"

"It's just school" Ryan put out the last bit of his cigarette before tapping the carton to pull out a new one "Why would I be nervous?"

"Uh-uh." Sandy held out his hand a silent demand for the offending objects to be turned over.

Ryan looked annoyed but did what he was told.

"Look, kid. I know the idea of going to school with a bunch of spoiled rich kids doesn't seem very appealing"

Ryan scoffed.

"Ok." Sandy relented "It sucks, But… it's an opportunity for a really good education if you give it a shot. You graduate from Harbor and you can go to any college you want"

Ryan looked at him out of the corners of his eyes.

"You don't believe me now, but it'll be worth it"

His foster son finally turned to face him and only shrugged.

"Whatever… I mean you already signed me up right?"

Sandy sighed.

"You coming inside?"

"Well. Yeah. There's really no point in being out here now" Ryan gestured towards the pack in Sandy 's hands. It took him a moment to realize Ryan was teasing.

Sandy gave an unapologetic shrug

"You're just lucky Kirsten hasn't caught you yet. You'd be up to your neck in pamphlets"

Ryan gave him something that looked like a smirk.

"Come on"

Ryan was following him when Sandy stopped short just before the doorway.

"Wait. Give me your lighter"

He saw surprise flash quickly in his eyes before it disappeared again. He took his time taking the red Zippo out of his back pocket, turning it deftly between his fingers before handing it over to Sandy.

"I catch you smoking again, I'm putting you on the patch"

The blond child rolled his eyes but nodded his head followed him inside.

"Ryan's smoking"

Sandy looked up from his paperwork at Kirsten, surprised.

"Huh?"

"I went into his room to get his laundry for Rosa , and his clothes smelt like smoke and I found this" She hold up a plain green lighter "In his jacket pocket"

He felt this overwhelming urge to defend Ryan, but what was he supposed to say?

Uh… no he didn't?

"Oh"

He wasn't sure what shocked him more; the fact that Ryan was still managing to smoke even though he was watching him like a hawk, or the fact that Kirsten finally noticed and actually seemed concerned. He remembered what she said last week at Thanksgiving about Ryan being like part of the family, but from what he'd seen over the past couple of months Kirsten was taking a lazier-faire approach to parenting their foster son.

"Sandy this is serious"

"I know, Honey"

"So… Are you going to talk to him?"

"I will… I will. I promise"

He didn't want to tell her he'd been trying to kick Ryan's habit for months. That he smelt in on his breath and his clothes and it was getting harder and harder to catch him in the act.

"I mean a real talk Sandy . Not like the one you gave him about girls in the house. Now I have to make a quick run to the store. He's in the kitchen waiting for you"

Sandy walked into the room to see Ryan sitting at a barstool looking incredibly dejected with a empty carton in front of him.

"Kid? You got something you want to talk to me about?"

Ryan looked down, tracing invisible circles on the counter.

"I wasn't smoking at your house"

Sandy eyebrows met as he frowned in confusion "Ryan-"

"I swear, Sandy . I know Kirsten thinks I did, but I'm telling you since you caught me that the last time I haven't smoked in the pool house or even outside of it."

"Ryan. Ryan, I don't want you smoking. Period"

His foster son ducked his head letting his hair shield his eyes "Why?"

Sandy tried to give him a reason that he'd believe.

"For one thing you're not eighteen yet. So I can pretty much guess your getting these cigarettes illegally which is a violation of your probation. We can't risk loosing you over something like this.

"Most places don't check for ID Sandy"

Sandy tried to hold back his frustration.

"I mean, we don't want to have any incident that would give reason for you to leave. You get what I'm saying, Ryan?"

Sandy watched as Ryan's eyes cleared in realization and his foster son nodded.

"Yeah. Sorry I let Kirsten catch me. I promise, I'll be more careful"

Sandy recalled his statement the last time he caught him and shook his head.

"No. That's not it"

Then Sandy heard the front door open and shut harshly and soon after Kirsten appeared in the kitchen with a small bag.

From it she pulled out a box of nicotine patches, the gum, cinnamon flavored toothpicks, herbal tea and a stress ball and placed them in front of Ryan.

"I wasn't sure what method works best for you so I got a little bit of everything. We'll try them out and see which one works best."

Huh. No pamphlets.

Ryan stared at the items in front of him and didn't say anything at first.

Kirsten took a deep breath.

"Cigarettes are a really bad habit, especially for someone your age. They can destroy shorten your breath and yellow your teeth, not to mention lung cancer, emphysema and the numbers of illness you can get from the toxins in them. Nobody in this family smokes, and we don't expect anything less from you. "

Ryan fumbled with the package of patches but wouldn't look at Kirsten.

" Sorry, Kirsten… I'll quit"

Ryan tugged on the packaging finally giving up on his shaking hands and trying to use his teeth to tear the wrapping open.

"Yes you will."

Ryan flinched at her tone and Sandy watched as Kirsten face softened and she tried again.

"Ryan, I know it's difficult, but we need to kick this habit now, so you won't get sick later. It's our job to keep you healthy. We're just trying to help you."

"I don't need -"

Kirsten gently pulled the package from his hands, opening it and pulling out one of the desired items before placing it in the palm of his hand.

"I think you do"

Sandy put a hand on his foster son's shoulder "Kid, I've been trying to get you to quit for months and this 'letting you do it on your own' thing isn't working"

If Kirsten was shocked to know Sandy knew about Ryan's smoking all along she didn't show it. She straightened her shoulders with a determined expression.

"Ok. First thing we need to do is get rid of all the cigarettes and lighters that you have and that includes the pool house"

Kirsten made her way to the patio and Sandy quickly followed. The look she gave him told Sandy they'd be having a conversation about his knowledge of Ryan's habit soon enough. But for now he wrapped his arm around her in a supportive hug. Looking back he saw Ryan still standing by the kitchen island gathering up the supplies.

"Come on, Kid. I want to see the look on your face when we uncover your most secret hiding places"

He thought he saw a hint of a smile coming from his foster son as he caught up to join them.

Sandy lay back on the couch with a full belly and smiled. Despite his strong Jewish pride, he had to admit he loved Christmas. Or Chrismukkah. Good food, good movies, good presents and great family. Seth was upstairs breaking in his new video game, Kirsten was in the kitchen warming up the previously delivered meal and hopefully not burning it and Ryan… Where was Ryan?

Sandy made his way to the pool house.

Ryan didn't even seem to notice Sandy 's presence as he continued his search, moving from drawers that held his clothes to the cabinets.

Looking through another cabinet in his kitchenette and finding nothing Ryan let out a low growl

"How the hell does she keep finding them?!"

"Well, I think Rosa helps"

Ryan turned around startled at the sound of Sandy's voice, looking very much like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar before adopting a blank facial expression.

" Sandy "

"You alright?"

"Yeah. Sure. I was just looking for my headphones"

"Yeah? 'Cause it looked to me like you were looking for a cigarette"

Ryan scratched the back of his neck and didn't answer, and Sandy tried to hold back his frown.

They were having their problems with getting Ryan to quit but they were managing to keep his habit at bay with the patches and Kirsten's watchful eye. Since Kirsten found out their dirty little secret she'd been keeping a close eye on their foster son, restocking him with anti- smoking supplies and printing out online tips for Ryan to read. And Ryan actually seemed willing to try and stop smoking for good, if only to keep him and Kirsten happy. Sandy knew his cravings tended to come back in stressful situations but he'd had hoped they'd managed to keep Ryan's first Chrismukkah stress free. It seemed as though he was having a good time earlier so when he saw his foster son like that Sandy was concerned.

" 'M Sorry" Ryan mumbled after a few moments of silence.

Sandy shook his head "You don't have to be sorry, Kid. I just thought you were having a good time"

"I was"

"Then what? You thinking about all the long lines you'll have to wait in returning all your crappy gifts?"

Sandy nodded towards the pile on Ryan's bed.

His foster son shook his head.

"No, no. All your gifts were… fine. Its more than I've ever… they're great. Thank you"

"I'm glad you liked them, Ryan but I'm not looking for another 'thank you' here"

Ryan stared.

"I want to know what's got you so stressed out."

Ryan looked away and for a second Sandy thought he wasn't going to get an answer.

"I got presents from my mom and Trey, you know"

'Yeah, I saw 'em" Sandy tried to keep his voice neutral. When Ryan did say anymore Sandy asked.

"Did you open them?"

Ryan nodded.

"And?"

"And now… Now I need a cigarette"

Sandy could tell the subject was closed so instead of pressing forward he gave him a sad smile.

"Sorry, kid. I don't have any"

Ryan smirked back at him "Would you have given them to me if you did?"

"Nope" Sandy shrugged "Why don't you come on inside. We're watching another movie and I bet you can get Kirsten to make you some of that herbal tea"

Ryan raised his eye brows.

"Another movie?"

"Hey! It's a Cohen family holiday tradition."

He slung an arm around his foster son's shoulders and he could feel the patch he was wearing though the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

"We're watching 'The Nightmare Before Christmas'. Seth's pick"

"Why am I not surprised"

"Well, tomorrow it'll be your turn to choose"

"Ryan!"

Ryan looked up at him with pure defiance before raising the cigarette to his lips for another puff.

"Give them to me"

Ryan didn't move.

"Now"

Ryan didn't hand the pack to Sandy but stood and put them on the nightstand within his reach. Sandy ran a frustrated hand through his hair and tried to remain calm.

"I thought I said you weren't to go anywhere or do anything unless you had permission from Kirsten or I"

Ryan looked away before blowing out the smoke in little rings.

"I didn't"

Sandy's voice rose.

"Don't lie to me"

"I'm not"

"Then where did you get the pack, Ryan? Nobody smokes in this house but you"

Ryan looked up his eyes flashing angrily.

"Right. Nobody smokes in this house but me, nobody fights in this house but me, nobody in this house causes problem but me, everybody in this house is trustworthy but me"

"Don't take it like that"

"How am I supposed to take it? You didn't believe me when I tried to tell you about Oliver and you don't believe me now"

Sandy sighed.

"I'm sorry I doubted you. I should have listened better"

Ryan stubbed the cigarette out on the sole of his boot

"You didn't listen at all"

"You're right. I didn't listen, but you didn't exactly make it easy, kid. You went about exposing Oliver all the wrong way"

"He was after Marissa. You saw what he tried to do to her"

Sandy walked to the front window and then back again.

"You should have came to me sooner"

"I tried to tell Seth at first, he wouldn't believe me"

"So you break into the file room and beat Oliver up in the school lounge"

"Works for me"

"Ryan, you know that's not how you handle things"

"No. That's not how you handle things, Sandy "

Sandy finally stopped pacing and settled himself in a chair opposite his foster son.

"This isn't a 'my way vs. your way', Ryan. This is a right vs. wrong and the way you handled it was wrong. And I know you're better than this"

It was Ryan's turn to stand.

"That's just it, Sandy . You only see what you want to see. I know you want to make me your 'special project' and 'improve me', but it isn't going to work. I'm not any better than this. This… is me. I fight. I smoke. I don't get good grades. I get in trouble. No fancy prep school or nice pool house is going to change that about me. The sooner you figure that out, the sooner you can let me - it go"

Sandy shook his head.

"I don't believe that for a second."

"Believe it. Seth wants a good best friend. You and Kirsten want a perfect kid that'll stay out of trouble to go to some Ivy league School. That's not me. So you can stop acting like you care"

"And you can stop acting like you don't"

Ryan started to stay something and then stopped.

"You're scared. You screwed up and now you're afraid it's over. Guess what, Ryan? I'm not … we're not going anywhere. Seth, Kirsten and I want to keep trying to make this work. We care about you. We want you here. There's a family and a life waiting right here for you. But you gotta want it and you gotta be willing to fight for it. It's up to you"

Sandy went to bed hoping and praying that Ryan took some of what he said to heart.

The next morning he found the pack of cigarettes on his dresser.

The smell of smoke led him further down the private beach to a little spot of sand near a life guard tower. Since the incident with Oliver, Sandy hadn't so much as seen an empty carton or smelled a whiff a smoke from Ryan and a couple of months ago Kirsten had stopped buying the patches. He thought his foster son's habit was kicked for good when his mother came to visit and threatened to kill him if she ever caught him with a smoke. Seeing him with one now seem unreal, but he guessed every thing seem surreal now a days.

"I thought you were off those things for good" Sandy stated as he settled down beside him.

"Yeah" Ryan looked down at the freshly lit cigarette in his hand "Me too"

He put it out and turned to Sandy.

"That's what you're supposed to do though, right? When you find out you're having a baby? Have a cigarette"

"That's cigars. And not until the baby is born"

"Yeah" Ryan returned his gaze to the ocean and gave a small smile "I figured it was something like that"

"You know we can drive down with you to Chino . Help you get settled at Theresa's"

"That's ok. We got it"

"You're not going to be able to get all your stuff down in Theresa's car. Plus, I think Kirsten's planning on picking up a few things for the baby-to-be"

"Already?"

"Never underestimate my wife's ability to shop"

"Thanks, but I think we should get settled in ourselves. Figure the whole thing out."

Sandy nodded.

"Ok. But I want you to give us a call by the end of the week, and we'll bring the rest of the stuff down. Maybe we can have dinner, celebrate your first day on the job"

"Ok."

"And we need to figure out how we're going to do the school thing come September"

" Sandy- "

"That's part of the deal. You may not live in Newport anymore, but you're still a part of the family and that means you're getting your education. I said it before; we're not letting you go"

"And that means…"

"Baby showers, christenings, ridiculous amounts of baby clothes, the works"

Ryan groaned

Sandy laughed "Hey, anything for little Sandy Jr."

Ryan raised an eyebrow "Sandy Jr.?"

"Just a thought"

Sandy looked at the un-smoked cigarette in his foster son's hands.

"Anything else?"

"One more thing. When the baby is born. And Kirsten and Seth are weeping over it. You and I will have that cigar"

Ryan shook his head in amusement

"I don't think I'd want one. I mean you worked so hard trying to get me to quit cigarettes. I'd hate to start on cigars. Plus, I think it's bad for the baby"

Sandy nodded "Glad you feel that way, because I was referring to the bubble gum kind"

Sandy watched as Kirsten pulled both boys into a hug, feeling great joy and relief. They were both home, safe and sound. And for good.

He took Seth in his arms and turned to his other son. His eyes looked sad and guilty and relieved all at once. He could smell the cigarette smoke, strong on his clothes. Sending a knowing glance in Kirsten's direction, he pulled Ryan in for a handshake.

As the boys moved towards their respective rooms, Sandy wrapped Kirsten in a hug, the scent of Ryan's brand still on his nose.

"Ryan's smoking again" Kirsten stated.

"I know. It's been a long summer"

"And we're probably going have to put him on the patch again"

"I know that too"

"We still don't know why he's back. We have to deal with Seth and his little vacation. And it's going to be hell getting Ryan to quit a second time"

"M-hm" Sandy agreed, but wasn't concerned.

Quitting smoking was much easier than quitting your children.

It was kind of long, but I hope you liked it. A thank you to my wonderful beta igloos.

On a side note, is anyone else watching SouthLAnd tonight? I saw the preview on ONDemand and Ben McKenzie looked so good!