Chapter 12: Guilt
Emily Prentiss could not believe what had happened in the last few hours. She was beside herself with worry. How could things turn out so wrong in such a small lapse of time? After so much work and hardship they had faced during the last weeks, they were finally going to be able to relax. She and Hotch were supposed to meet the rest of the team and fly home tonight, fate had decided against that. Right now, she was being taken to the nearest hospital, she had no clue how Hotch was doing. He had lost consciousness a couple of minutes before the rescue team had gotten to them. They had immediately started working on him, she heard words such as "shock", "blood loss", "internal bleeding" and "system is crashing" but they had taken him out of the wrecked SUV to treat him so she could not see what was happening to him. She could not see his face or hold his hand, not knowing was heartbreaking. She remembered that while this was taking place, there was a fireman trying to free her from her confinement, at all moments he was telling her to calm down. She wondered why he was doing that, she was not even making a sound, she was completely concentrated in listening what was going outside with Hotch. Hotch, her boss, the man that she respected, the man that she completely trusted with her life, the man that had slowly turned into her friend, the man who minutes ago told her that he cared. His statement should not have come as a complete surprise, she knew Hotch cared about all members of his team…but the way he had looked at her and how he had said those two short words had a deeper meaning. She was fairly sure of that, but at the moment she would not dwell on it, she only wanted him to be okay, to be safe. Suddenly, she had not been able to hear any voices and she had panicked. She had tried to move but had been quickly restrained by another pair of hands, this time it had been a paramedic.
"Please stay put ma'm, he is being flown to the hospital and as soon as we get you out of here we will transport you too! Don't worry, he is in the best of hands" a young man had calmly stated as he had taken her pulse.
It had seemed to Emily that it took forever to liberate her from the SUV, although in reality it was about 15 minutes. She had been placed on a gurney and transported by ambulance to the hospital. She had tried to make the paramedics understand that she had not been hurt at all, only had a few bumps but they responded that it was procedure after such an accident to place her on a gurney. Now, during the ride, Emily could not distract herself from her horrible thoughts. Thoughts of Hotch in terrible pain, thoughts of Hotch dying. God, she need to be by his side NOW!
When Emily finally was wheeled through the emergency doors, the rest of the team where waiting for her. She saw a red eyed JJ get near her and felt as her friend grabbed her hand for a few seconds.
"Em, you are going to be okay!" said JJ with a soft voice.
Rossi was right beside JJ, he looked tired and somehow older.
"Everything is fine, Emily, you did great!" he tried to cheer.
Morgan came up from the other side, he smiled at her but it came out more like a grimace. Reid was behind Derek, she was not able to see his face as the paramedics turned the gurney and entered a room. She had wanted to ask them about Hotch but had been too scared to do it. All their faces showed deep worry and sadness. She had expected that, although her heart had frozen when she caught a glimpse of something close to guilt written on their faces. As doctors checked and probed on her, she closed her eyes and wondered why would her friends be displaying guilt. She could only come with one devastating reason: Hotch was dead and they felt guilty for lying, for telling her that everything was going to be okay when things would never be fine again. That was Emily's last thought as the sedatives the doctors had administered took the desired effect.