tada! hopefully, i'm not too late with this. i realize that the reception for the last chapter hadn't been much. do you guys not like it? well, i hope you like this one :)
happy new year! 2015, whew! time sure flies!
response to reviews
LaurenKnight13: wow, thank you for saying that. so glad that my fic could make somewhat of an impact. i hope your relationship with your dad will get better. again, thank you!
IloveDiannaAgron: oh, there will be a happy ending, i promise.
Quinn decided that she would wait to tell Santana about her kiss with Rachel. How was she supposed to let Santana know when she could barely grasp the idea herself. Despite all the wisdom imparted on her by Rachel and Mercedes the night before, she had still yet to find her way around the whole event.
Which was why she found herself indulging Santana in her complaints and in Brittany's innocent silliness and Puck's lechery instead of telling them about her. Halfway through Santana's complaint about her chemistry class, Quinn's mind drifted off to what she had seen that morning.
It was as though nothing changed.
Quinn awoke on time that morning, dressed, and went down to help Mercedes set the table for breakfast. Mercedes had gratefully nodded at her and let her steal a bite of the scrambled eggs she was making in the kitchen. And then Mercedes had given her meaningful look, indicating their talk last night had not slipped her mind.
Quinn rolled her eyes good-naturedly. When she'd set up the last of the table, her family began to pile in. Her sister and her father were mildly surprised when they saw Quinn in the dining room. Quinn rolled her eyes at them; she very nearly snapped that just because she was often tardy did not mean she was incapable of being on time.
She respectfully took her place at the dining table next to her grandfather, flanking her father's left. And then Mercedes began serving breakfast. As they ate, Russell asked questions about what they had been up to the last week while he and Judy had been absent.
As Quinn tried to evade his questions as much as possible, she also didn't fail to observe her parents' behavior.
Like she said, it was as if nothing had changed. But Quinn, being the observant little shit that she was, knew that something had changed. It wasn't just her parents' odd behavior. It was her own. Because last night, she had kissed Rachel Berry.
Quinn wondered when the hell she was going to stop being surprised at the thought of that.
Her eyes landed on her father first. He was eating slower than usual and the minor look of exhaustion on his face would have been easily missed by others, but not her; never her. As much as she loved to pride herself on not caring for her father, she could still see even the slightest bit of change in him.
And then she slowly turned to her mother. Judy would not stop sending Russell worried glances every other second. She watched the silent interaction between her parents where Judy would frown questioningly and then Russell would nod reassuringly.
Quinn still didn't think it was the right time to voice her thoughts, so she kept quiet. She decided that she would observe her parents more and try to find the right time to ask why the hell they had been acting so odd.
With that, she finished eating her breakfast. Her father, as usual, waited for her at the door while she grabbed her bag. As she got into her car and trailed behind him, she felt that even though she was initially taken aback when she saw her parents the night before, it felt good to be back in their usual routine. The familiarity was something she needed right now after all the unfamiliarity she had experienced since their departure.
"Quinn!" She snapped to reality to see her friends all staring at her. Finn had joined them, apparently. She hadn't noticed.
She blinked and cleared her throat. "Sorry," she mumbled. "What?"
Santana frowned. "Are you okay?" she asked.
Quinn stared at her, deliberately widening her eyes at her. "Yeah, sure, why wouldn't I be?"
The Latina's frown remained marring her forehead as she sarcastically said, "Well, I don't know. Obviously you're so fine that you couldn't hear each and every one of us calling you for the 10000th time."
Quinn had the decency to look sheepish. "Sorry," she mumbled again. "I just had something on my mind."
"Care to share?"
The blonde shook her head and smiled apologetically. "Not yet, San," she whispered.
Santana nodded understandingly. "Okay," she said.
"Wanna hit the docks?" Puck mentioned. Quinn turned to him, thinking he was joking. But he had a serious look on his face.
She smiled gratefully and shook her head again. "Nah, it's okay. Seriously, guys, don't worry about me. I'm fine," she insisted when she saw the unconvinced looks on their faces.
Quinn didn't miss the way Brittany pointedly narrowed her eyes at her as the bell rang, signaling for them to go back to class.
"Is this going to be our secret meeting place from now on?"
Quinn turned her head back as much as she could to watch Rachel walking towards her with a tender smile on her face. "It can be if you want it to be," she answered as she turned back to look back at the town beneath them.
They were at the cliff. Quinn had come home from school and saw Rachel's car parked in the driveway. She avoided passing by the music room and went upstairs. When it was time for her daily run, she texted Rachel before she left to meet her when she was done tutoring Frannie.
And now here they were.
"I'd be happy with the sewers if it meant I could see you there," Rachel said as she sat down next to her. Quinn watched as she pulled her knees back and wrapped her arms around them, curling into a ball.
Quinn smiled. "What a noble sacrifice."
Rachel laughed and turned to her, her lips curled into a smile. Quinn's eyes flitted down onto those red lips and subtly gulped. Rachel eliminated her doubts when she leaned in to kiss her on the lips. Quinn's breath shuddered the instance their lips touched and leaned in almost immediately to taste more.
The kiss was slow and patient, as if they had all the time in the world. In that moment, they felt like they had an eternity ahead of them. Quinn tried to abolish those unrealistic thoughts from her head but she couldn't as long as the woman in front of her was kissing her.
"I love you," Rachel breathed against her lips.
Quinn's eyes screwed shut and she took the opportunity to insert her tongue into Rachel's mouth. She smirked proudly when Rachel gasped. Quinn tilted her head to gain better access and inadvertently moved in closer. However, with the exception of their lips, their bodies did not touch.
Eventually, they parted. Quinn's eyes opened slowly to see Rachel's eyes still closed and her lips slightly open, as if she was surprised by what had just happened and couldn't process it. Funny how just last night it was Quinn in her position.
Quinn waited until Rachel had opened her eyes to reply, "I love you too."
"So how did it go last night?" Quinn started, and turned to Rachel in surprise at her question. Rachel smirked. "Frannie told me your parents came home last night."
Quinn's look of confusion disappeared and she turned back to staring at the town before them. "Well, my father…hugged me," Quinn said slowly, frowning, still finding it hard to believe. Rachel's smirk turned into an amused smile when she heard Quinn's tone. "Don't laugh at me," Quinn admonished. "He is not a hugger, trust me."
"Oh, I do," Rachel said immediately. "I just think it's cute that you're surprised he hugged you."
Quinn frowned. "Why?"
Rachel raised her brows at the blonde. "Quinn, he is your father."
Quinn groaned and hung her head back with her eyes closed. "I am not having this conversation again."
The brunette chuckled and shifted her body so she could face Quinn fully. "Why? Who else did you have this conversation with?"
"Well, for starters, you." She looked at Rachel pointedly. Rachel gestured for her to go on. "Mercedes has been pestering me to make up with him. By the way, she knows about us." Rachel's eyes widened comically. Quinn laughed. "She did play a huge part in raising me. Don't worry, though. She won't rat us out."
Rachel hummed. "Well, I guess Mercedes isn't as oblivious as I thought she was." Quinn shrugged. "Who else?"
Quinn hesitated for a couple of seconds, wondering if she should tell Rachel about the other person. Then she decided to throw caution to the wind. "Miss Avery," she revealed. She saw the hint of recognition and panic in Rachel's eyes. "Miss Skye Avery," she elaborated.
Rachel froze. She licked her lips in a nervous gesture and blinked a couple of times. "Skye Avery's your teacher?" she asked. Quinn nodded, watching Rachel carefully. "Oh my god," Rachel whispered.
"Why do I get the feeling that you're not happy with this?"
Rachel was dumbstruck for a moment. Her gaze managed to stay on Quinn, though she stammered for a moment before releasing a nervous chuckle. "I told her about you!" Rachel confessed. Quinn raised an eyebrow. "I mean, I told her girlfriend about you! But the two of them have no secrets! They tell each other everything, so I basically told Skye about you!"
Quinn fought to remain stone-faced. "Oh yes, Jemma." Rachel gasped. Quinn's lips twitched. "I've met her. She's like the polar opposite of Miss Avery."
"Oh my god, you even met Jemma," Rachel mumbled pathetically as she carded her hand nervously through her hair.
"They're both very nice people," Quinn remarked with a smile.
"How are you and Skye even that close?" Rachel questioned.
Quinn winced. "Promise not to have a personal vendetta against her after I tell you?" Rachel narrowed her eyes. Quinn chuckled nervously. "Before I met you, I had a crush on her."
Rachel frowned. "Do you like have a thing for older people?"
The blonde chuckled and shrugged. "I guess, yeah," she said. "I mean, I really do find older people more attractive than people my own age, to be honest."
Rachel had a wary look on her face but Quinn, knowing Rachel, could easily see that she was faking it. "Should I be worried?" she queried.
Quinn rolled her eyes. "Oh yes. I mean, McKinley High is not short on handsome or pretty teachers. Also, who knows about the hundreds of attractive older residents in New Haven once I move there? You should definitely be worried."
"I guess I'll just have to install a tracking device on you to ease my worries," Rachel joked in return.
They burst out laughing. When they sobered, Quinn looked at Rachel fondly. "You know, Rachel, I don't think I'd be able to move on from you even if I wanted to," she confessed.
Rachel breathed deeply. She reached out to cup Quinn's face. "Me either."
How long they spent staring at each other, they didn't know. Once upon a time, Quinn had thought it wasn't possible for a person to love someone so much that they would be willing to ruin their lives to be with the other. Now that she was here with Rachel, the feelings she had felt like that once upon a time fairy tale. She felt like she could just leave her entire life in Lima and elope somewhere with Rachel and build a new life with her.
"So, tell me," Rachel shattered the glass of silence, "how exactly did you and Skye grow so close? A crush can't possibly be capable of forging such a strong friendship that you can tell her about me."
So Quinn told her about the day Miss Avery noticed her and her intellectual achievements. She told Rachel about how Miss Avery gifted her a book in appreciation of her efforts to boost class participation and make it more interesting. She told Rachel about how Miss Avery was the only teacher who seemed to understand her at an almost spiritual level, out of all the teachers at school.
"Wait, you actually told her about what happened in the music room the night we met?" Rachel asked, almost horrified.
"Well, not exactly. I just asked her, hypothetically, about what I should do if someone tried to drag my past back into my life."
"I most certainly did not try to drag your past back into your life, Quinn Fabray," Rachel defended.
"Well, excuse me for being completely terrified when someone I literally just met practically yelled at me to play the piano after five years of musical isolation!" Quinn stuck her tongue out. "Besides, I honestly didn't even know that much about you back then, despite the attraction I had towards you."
"I'm really glad you decided to play again," Rachel remarked. "I know I've said it a million times before but you are truly one of the most talented pianists I have ever met – in all ranges of age."
Quinn smiled but it drifted away as she recalled what happened last night after her talk with Mercedes. "Frannie asked me to play last night," she told Rachel. Rachel's smile disappeared as well and she stared at Quinn, waiting for her to continue. "She heard me play for you the other night. She asked me to sit next to her, and then she asked me to play for her. She thought I lied when I told her I wasn't ready."
"Were you?"
"No!" Quinn claimed. "I wasn't ready!" She swallowed a mouthful and she sighed. "Yes, I played. Yes, you've heard me play. But, you're the only person who has heard me play in five years! I wasn't ready to play for anyone else. I am not ready to play for anyone else."
"Why?"
Quinn turned to look at Rachel. She shrugged. "It's our thing." She gestured between the two of them with her finger. "You were the one who put me back on this path. You were the one who told me to play. You were the first one to listen to me play. And I'm just not ready to change it."
"Quinn." Quinn's heart stuttered a bit. It was just the way Rachel had spoken her name. She often wondered what Santana was on about when she said the way Brittany spoke her name always flustered her. Now she understood. She had no words to describe it; only that the way Rachel spoke her name made her feel so special in her own rights.
"Rachel," Quinn replied.
Rachel gave a helpless smile and shook her head. "I'll always be here, Quinn," she declared. "You don't have to hold back just for me. You can play for me anytime. I'll always be here to listen. I wouldn't dare miss out on it." She reached out to cup Quinn's hand over her knee. "Your sister…your family deserves to hear you to play after going so long without."
Quinn just nodded.
"So, now that's solved. Will you play for your sister?" Rachel asked. Quinn considered it for awhile before she sighed. "Quinn, what is holding you back?"
It took a long moment. "Honestly?" She turned to Rachel with a perplexed look. "I don't even know myself," she whispered.
Brittany cornered her in the bathroom. She actually locked the door after checking that all the stalls were empty before she backed Quinn into the sink, her hands bracketing her in. Quinn was slightly terrified and mostly thankful that Brittany had locked the door because who knows what hell would rain down on them if Santana burst in.
Not that Quinn intended to do anything inappropriate with Brittany at the moment. Sure, she loved Brittany to death but not in that way. Ew.
"Um…Brittany?" If they asked her about it later, she would deny it. But she actually squeaked.
Brittany's face was only inches away from her and not that she wasn't flattered, but she didn't think Brittany would be interested in her in a more than platonic way. That would be preposterous.
"Is everything okay?" she asked again.
"I should be the one asking you that question," Brittany replied quietly.
Now, she was really creeping Quinn out. "Um…everything's okay," Quinn replied slowly. She leaned her head back a fraction and reminded herself that Brittany was not a serial killer.
Brittany tilted her head a little. "Is it?"
Quinn blinked a couple times and she gulped. "Brittany, sorry but you're freaking me out." She put her hands on her friend's shoulders and pushed her away. Well, she tried to, only Brittany seemed to have the strength of a freaking dinosaur and she couldn't move her at all. "Brit, what is it?" she whined.
She watched Brittany observe her for the next god-only-knows-how-long before Brittany finally let her go. Quinn released a relieved breath as she pushed off the sink and stepped as far away from her friend as possible.
"Seriously, Brittany, what is up with you today?" she complained, her hand on her chest.
"You've been acting weird lately."
Quinn gave her a look. "Me? Weird? Did you even see yourself just now?"
"Did you kiss Rachel?"
Quinn froze and she stared at her friend, dumbfounded. Shit. She wasn't that obvious, was she? Wait, no, she wasn't. It was only that Brittany was slightly more perceptive than others. That was probably how she knew. No point denying it now.
"Yes," she admitted. "But you can't tell anyone. Not even Santana."
"Why not?"
"Brit, come on," she breathed. "I just…started this whole kissing thing with Rachel. We're not even sure what we are just yet. How am I supposed to tell Santana about it?"
"You told me."
Quinn released a helpless chuckle and leaned her head back against the wall. "You practically forced it out of me. I certainly did not volunteer that information on my own accord."
"What does this have to do with guitar?" Brittany asked, frowning.
Normally, Quinn would have smiled and patted Brittany's shoulder. Normally, Quinn would have been amused by Brittany's quirks. Normally. However, now, she wasn't the least bit amused. "Brittany!" she snapped. "Just…pretend I didn't say anything to you. Pretend this never happened. God knows what Santana's gonna do to me if she knows."
"Were you even planning on telling us?" Brittany persisted, ignoring Quinn's previous words.
Quinn sighed and feebly rubbed her forehead. She could already feel the impending headache. "You guys were bound to find out one way or another. It's just a matter of time."
"Then why hide it from us?"
"I just told you!" Quinn snapped. "Look, you're making it into a bigger deal than it is. Rachel and I kissed. I fell in love with a woman who happens to be twelve freaking years older than me and I kissed her! Is that enough for you? Or do you want to hear all the intimate details? Huh?"
Quinn made a sound of frustration. She shouldered past her friend, unlocked the door and stepped out of the bathroom.
Honestly, she was disappointed when she didn't see Rachel's car in the driveway.
"Today's an off day," Frannie said when she asked. Her eyes narrowed. "Shouldn't you know that?"
Quinn appeased her sister's curiosities by saying she had a bad day, which was true.
"Are you okay?" Frannie persisted.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."
She then saved herself from Frannie's further questioning by escaping into the kitchen. Mercedes wasn't there and Quinn was glad for that. If Mercedes saw her in her state, she would go into yet another interrogation. So she poured herself a glass of milk and went upstairs to her room with it.
She drank a quarter from the glass and set it down on her desk, then started stripping as she headed towards the bathroom, leaving a trail of garments at her heels. As she stood under the shower head, she reflected on her confrontation with Brittany earlier today and winced.
As crazy as Brittany was acting today, it hadn't been the first time. Quinn shouldn't have snapped at her. She didn't know what had put her so on edge today.
She was fine when she came home for dinner last night. She observed more weirdness from her parents and made mental note of it. Then she chatted with Mercedes about random stuff for about fifteen minutes before Sam came to pick her up. She avoided the music room and went upstairs to her room. Everything was fine when she had gone to sleep, albeit a bit earlier than usual.
When she woke up she just felt so frustrated and on edge the second she opened her eyes. She couldn't figure out what was causing it. She had yet to figure it out, and it all just collected from a small pile into a bigger pile of frustrations. Brittany had only become a victim of it.
By the time she exited the shower, she had decided to make a point to apologize to Brittany first thing in the morning. The guilt was hard to bear, especially when Brittany was on the receiving end of it.
She changed into a loose shirt and a pair of boxer shorts. She downed the rest of the milk and went to turn on her laptop to get started on this week's assignments. For the next two hours or so, she managed to keep her mind distracted and focused on attempting to achieve satisfying grades.
There were still two hours until dinner when she was done with her homework. She locked her hands and stretched out on her chair, groaning as she did so. She stood up, fetched the empty glass and went downstairs to put it back in the kitchen. By habit, she passed by the music room and heard the distinct sound of the piano. She sighed and resisted going in, instead continuing on her original path to the kitchen.
Mercedes wasn't there. The door to the wine cellar was closed. Quinn frowned. Where else would she be if not in the kitchen? She washed the glass and put it back where it came from and set out to look for her housekeeper.
"Don't force your sister." Quinn stopped in her tracks and stared at the door leading to the music room. "She's been having a rough patch. It's not easy for her," Mercedes continued to say.
"I know, 'Cedes, I know," Frannie's voice drifted out of the room. "I don't even know what I was thinking that night, honestly."
"You miss hearing your sister play," Mercedes said with a tone of certainty. "Who wouldn't? I do too. She had never looked as beautiful as she did when she was playing."
Quinn felt an ache in her heart when she heard Mercedes' words.
"I know!" Frannie agreed.
"But she's still not ready to play for an audience." Quinn closed her eyes. Mercedes was wrong. She was ready to play an audience, only the audience was comprised solely of Rachel. "You can't blame her after what happened all those years ago."
"You know who I blame?"
"Your father."
There was a moment of silence which Quinn assumed Frannie was staring at Mercedes in shock.
Mercedes chuckled. "Honey, I know how you feel, okay? I blamed him too."
"Blamed?"
"It's not healthy to carry a grudge, Francine."
Frannie sighed. "He is not a good father."
"He may not be the best father," Mercedes said. "But he wasn't the worst either. I told Quinn the same thing. Your father may be the most infuriating man in the universe. He may be stubborn. He may be utterly oblivious to his children's desires. But he loves you. I am telling you, he loves you two to the core."
"It's a real shocker that Mom actually stayed with him all this time."
Mercedes chuckled. "I know."
Quinn was about to leave when she heard footsteps approaching the door. But then Frannie asked, "Do you think she didn't want to play because of him?"
"I think Quinn is afraid of a lot of things, mainly because of your father. But Quinn has got to overcome all those fears herself. No one, not even Russell, can help her get through them."
She found Brittany at her locker the next morning. She took a deep, nervous breath to prepare herself. She cleared her throat when she was beside Brittany to get her attention.
Brittany turned to Quinn with a curious look. It was as if everything that happened yesterday was forgotten. "Quinn, is something wrong?"
"I'm sorry," Quinn whispered, an apologetic look on her face.
"For what?"
"You know, what happened in the bathroom," Quinn elaborated.
Brittany narrowed her eyes, still blank. "What happened in the bathroom?" she asked.
Quinn blinked. Did she really forget? "Brittany, you cornered me in the bathroom and kind of interrogated me."
"What does 'interrogated' mean?"
Quinn was about to go ahead to explain before she waved her hand between them. "It doesn't matter. The point is, I'm sorry."
"I don't think I understand what you're talking about." For the love of god, Brittany still had a confused look on her face.
Quinn frowned and stared at her friend for a second before she remembered. "Britt, you don't have to pretend that whatever happened yesterday never happened." Brittany's face changed as she dropped her act of ignorance over yesterday's events. Quinn couldn't help but think that the girl deserved a freaking Oscar. "I'm sorry," she reiterated.
Brittany smiled sympathetically and she reached out to pat Quinn on the shoulder. "It's okay, Quinn. I don't blame you."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
Quinn grinned and she leaned forward to wrap her arms around Brittany. "Thank you so much. I love you," she declared.
"Are you trying to steal my girlfriend from me?"
Quinn smirked and drew back from Brittany but kept her arm slunk around Brittany's shoulder. "Depends. Are you willing to share?"
Safe to say by the way Santana chased her down the hallway, Santana Lopez was unamused.
"Lucy my precious, keep in mind that your friends are important. Keep an eye out for the truest among them all. And never lose them. Never."