Ok guys, I decided to do a little recap at this point. First I'll sum up the new characters aside from those on the show, and then give a short summary in notes form. I do this because I often get a problem with the time in my stories so this time I'll be extra careful because the timing's sort of important for the story.

Recap

Characters aside from the classic Jude, Tommy and Darius:

Nikki: I wrote her a little bit cliché and I know that. She's supposed to be the typical young star actress, partying and meddling and just having fun. She loves drama and considers Jude her best friend. She's not perfect and often nosy and goes on Jude's nerves and she sometimes doesn't get Jude fully, but her hearts in the right place and Jude knows that. With her careless and reckless attitude she helped Jude especially in the beginning to get out of her depression phase and start over for real. So Nikki resembles the crowd Jude hangs out with nowadays and even though she might not do it right every time, she'd do anything for Jude and has her back. Nikki's Jude's age and has natural black hair.

Nathan: Nathan's like Jude's best friend through it all. He totally gets her and the other way round and he's the first person she tells the truth about her past. He also is the one who can convince her to do the concert. Jude can always count on him and knows he has her back. That's the reason why she reluctantly came to New York and agreed to work with her ex-fiancé Ed in the first place, because she knew it would do wonders for Nathan's career as a producer if she and Ed had the lead parts in his very own first movie. They were also often rumors about them being more than just friends in the tabloids, though they never dated or anything. Nathan's a couple years older than Jude, about two or three I'd say.

Ed: Edward Newswick is Jude's ex-fiancé and the two have quite a history. Jude's half terrified half furious whenever it comes to him and similar to Tommy he's one of the few people who can make Jude lose her temper even though she's usually not that short tempered anymore. Ed has done something terribly wrong and tries to get Jude to talk civilly to him again but she get's upset every time. Up to now he's hopefully still a mystery to all of you ;)

Nora: (only comes into the picture IN this chapter, sorry) Nora's Jude's manager and used to be a close friend too, though during the last months they hadn't had much contact due to their busy schedules. Nora too is one of the friends Jude made in the very beginning when she started out as Jude Johnson and she had been sort of a "replacement" for Sadie.

Story:

After Tommy left Jude on their first date she finished her third album all alone in record time and left town directly afterwards. She changed her name into Jude Johnson and started out as an actress in London. Three years later she's a famous actress and leads a happy life. Though she had changed a lot and now has a new life and a new lot of baggage - including an exfiancé.

Monday: Jude arrives in NYC; meets Tommy and tells him off but is affected by the meeting

Tuesday: The first photo shoots for the movie; Jude's a little bit off; Darius shows up and asks her to do a concert for the fans and questions her new life

Wednesday: Jude has lunch with Nathan and tells him everything, asking him for advice and ends up deciding to do the concert; at night she wants to go to a party with Nikki but finds her friend bringing Tommy along; after a brief fight with Tommy Jude ignores him all night, but after a conversation with Ed she has a breakdown and cries herself to sleep in Tommy's arms

Hope I got it all summed up, it's really short and everything, but whatever ;)

So this chapter takes place on Thursday. I hope you liked the story so far. And thanks to ThunderChild, because she told me to look up the movie "The Ugly Truth" and even though I didn't find it on the internet, I got the gist from the trailers and it inspired me ;)

12. I Can Still Read You

"I won't be your winter
I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
We can be forgiven
I will be here

The old picture on the shelf
Well it's been there for a while
A frozen image of ourselves
We are acting like a child
Innocent and in a trance
A dance that lasted for a while"

Your Winter - Sister Hazel

"Hello, excuse me, I'd like to see Miss Johnson if she's in." Tommy asked the concierge politely. Giving the woman behind the shelter a charming smile of his', hoping to get another reaction than from her male colleague, who had had the last shift.

"Miss Johnson? She's in one of our suites, right?" The woman asked, while typing something into the computer. Tommy nodded and waited impatiently and nervous.

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid there's nothing I can do with you. Without explicit invitation I can't give you any information nor let you through to her room." The woman replied with a apologizing look. Tommy sighed, and contemplated for a moment to try and charm the woman in front of him into doing what he wanted her to. "So she is in her suite right now, right?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't give you any information without-" The woman began again, but Tommy interrupted her, growing quickly tired of hearing the same thing all day.

"Yeah, yeah, I got that the first time thanks. Could you just let her know I'm waiting for her outside?" Tommy asked and then turned around to leave without waiting for an answer. He somehow doubted that it would make a difference if the woman called Jude, her colleague had claimed to have just done that earlier. It just seemed that Jude wouldn't talk to him. She wouldn't even see him. And that hurt.

He had gotten his hopes up after the party, he thought that maybe Jude would give him a second chance, but he had called her all day and she had ignored it every time. He had left her voice messages, but had gotten no answer. So now he had gone to her hotel to pay her a visit and force her to talk, but he was being rejected at the reception already.

Jude left the limo in front of a skyscraper, her cell pressed to her ear with her left hand, a Starbucks coffee in her right. She was tired and had rings under her eyes, but they were covered up perfectly with make-up. She had left very early this morning and had spent hours at Starbucks, sipping numerous cups of coffee while starring into nothing and thinking.

"Yeah Nora, I'm actually just in front of the building. I'm coming up now. I know, I know, thanks for squeezing me in on such short notice. I promise I'll make it quick, but I believe you'll want to hear about this. See you in a few!" With that she put her cell away and walked into the first free elevator, still drinking her delicious coffee.

She had been thinking a lot during the last hours and she had made a few decisions. For one she would do the concert. She would face the music and Jude Harrison again, which was the reason she was currently on her way to see her PR-manager Nora Duras. She also now knew on what conditions she would do the concert. Number one was that Darius would make it happen, that she wouldn't meet another person from her past. Last night and her encounter with Tommy had only showed her, that she wasn't ready yet. She had been so determined to make Tommy see that she had changed, that she wasn't his little, naïve girl anymore, and yet one stupid conversation with Ed had been enough to lead to her ending up in Tommy's arms, crying like a baby.

Jude felt a little bit guilty whenever she thought about how she had left Tommy in that abandoned room all alone and still sleeping, without even saying goodbye. It hadn't exactly been her finest moment. But she had woken up in the arms of her ex-love/producer/whatever and she had just panicked -and had run. She didn't know why she hadn't been able to face him, but she had just known she couldn't.

The blonde sighed when she left the elevator and walked through the busy hallways, heading for Nora's office. She knew that Nathan and Nikki would both only tell her that she wasn't over Tommy yet and that she should give him a second chance, that is IF she told them what had happened. But that was just it. She KNEW how it must look to every one, like some scene out of a movie with two people who were made for each other and what not ever else. But that wasn't reality. Because although Jude did still care about Tommy, she also knew that what she had told him was true. She had changed. She didn't NEED him anymore like she used to. She was moving on. And most importantly; she was content with who she was.

I might get lonely sometimes, but when I'm with Tommy, I feel that I'm falling back into old patterns and I don't want that. Tommy and I might have great chemistry and maybe it even really was true love, but maybe love just isn't enough. Ugh, I hate how cliché my life is lately. Besides, I have enough problems of my own without Tommy messing my life up once again.

"Jude! It's great to see you again!" Nora exclaimed when Jude entered her office and Jude banned all thoughts about Tommy from her mind and hugged her friend.

"I'm glad to see you too Nora. It's really sad that the first time I get to see you in months is only because I need to tell you something because you're my manager. Remember the times I wasn't famous and we were still friends who went for coffee every morning?" Jude asked with a sort of nostalgic smile on her face while both ladies sat down. Nora returned the smile and nodded, remembering the lazy breakfasts at Starbucks or other coffees in London.

Flashback - 3 Months after Jude left Toronto

Jude was waiting on the street in front of an apartment building in the suburbs of London. She had pressed the ring button minutes ago and was now impatiently waiting for Nora to finally come outside and meet her. The good thing was that it wasn't raining and the sun was actually shining, so Jude was giving her friend a genuine smile when she finally emerged out of the front door.

"Sorry I kept you waiting, I know you hate waiting for your coffee, but I totally overslept!" Nora greeted her with an apologizing look. Jude just grinned and linked arms with the brown haired woman and they walked down the street together chatting casually.

"Apology accepted. Lucky for you the sun's shining today, that's nearly as good as coffee in the morning in this city." Jude said and chuckled when she thought of just how much this city had changed her. Or maybe the people had.

"So, tell me about last night? How did it go?" Nora asked, not wasting any more time. Jude smiled coyly, and both women began to laugh. Last night Jude had had her first date with Dave. An actor that had a minor role in the same movie Jude was playing in too. The two had been flirting on the set during the last weeks, ever since Nikki had literally pushed her to finally open up and loosen up a bit too.

"It was alright. He's funny and really nice." Jude began, and then stopped because she didn't know what to say. Nora hadn't met Dave yet and Jude found it being difficult to describe him. He was nothing like a certain someone she didn't want to think about, but he was nice and Jude really liked him. "He took me out to a little diner and it was great. He knew the owner and waiters and they gave us the best table and it was different, but in a good way. All in all it was pretty romantic, I guess. And he's a good kisser." Jude added in the end, not able to hide the broad grin any longer. Before Nora had been looking ahead, just like Jude did, but at her last words she stopped and looked at Jude more closely.

"He kissed you? And does that mean you're going for a second date?" She asked sounding somewhat proud and excited. Jude nodded and grinned at her friend. Nora had become like a bigger sister to her and was sort of replacing Sadie, or at least she filled most of the gap that there had been in Jude's life without her sister.

"Oh I so need to meet him! So much to your "he's just being nice, he probably doesn't even want me and only asked me out because Nikki kept making jokes about it". I told you he'd be crazy to not want you." Nora claimed forcefully and started walking again, pulling Jude with her. "Oh, what I wanted to tell you, I asked a few people and listened around and I think I got a job for you. They are searching for a female lead for a romance/comedy-thingy and I think you'd be perfect for it. The producer thinks so too and if you want I'll arrange an audition for you. In Paris."

Jude remained silent and looked ahead without reacting to Nora's words. She didn't know what to say or what to feel. Sure, she was excited and happy about the oportunity, but it also meant that her time in London and at the set was coming to an end. After everything had changed when she had left Toronto, she had just gotten out of the depression and the funk she had still been in because of Tommy. She was just starting to move on and had found friends and even a really nice guy. But the movie would be all done in a few weeks and then everyone she had gotten close to would go and hunt for another job at a different movie. Jude hated thinking about going to a new set once again.

"Hey! Jude, did you even hear me?" Nora asked and smacked Jude's arm playfully.
"Yeah I did. I just don't know what to say." Jude admitted, feeling stupid for her thoughts but found herself unable to just pretend that everything was alright. Besides, this was her new big sis she was talking too, she had no reason to hide anything.

"Look, Jude, I know that you're probably worried about the future. Don't think I haven't noticed how you've changed and slowly opened. I know that you must feel like things are finally falling into place and now every thing's going to be over again, but it's gonna be alright, I promise. I've been working with so many actors and actresses and I know that in the beginning it's hard, but you'll find new friends and the true ones will stay. I'm sure that you and Nikki for example will manage to stay friends, even if you might won't always be in the same city. And you and I will stay friends too, I promise you that. Especially when you will finally cave in and make me your official manager, then we'll have no choice but to hold up the contact!" Nora laughed and placed her arm comfortingly around Jude's shoulders. It reminded Jude once more of Sadie and the good times they had. She really missed her sister.

"Alright, I'll trust you with this then and won't worry. So tell me more about that movie. Where will be the shootings again? Because I just heard Paris, as in Paris, France?!" Jude asked after she had taken a deep breath and the smile was back on her face again.

"It's in Paris, France, yes. And the producer and I are old friends, you'll love it in Paris and I'll even come with you for a few weeks since I'll be there for business anyways..."

Flashback End

"Yeah, it's really sad to see what we've come down to. But now that we're not only on the same continent and in the same country, but also in the same city for some time, I'm sure we can make up for some of the lost time, huh?" Nora asked and winked at Jude. Nora was about five years older than Jude and she had felt a connection to the younger girl from the very beginning. She now couldn't help but be proud of the woman Jude had become in the last three years. When they had first met, Jude had been naïve in a good way and inexperienced in the film business, but now she had not only matured but also this new attitude about her. Back then in London Jude had been obviously sad about something and everyone had seen that she was trying to get over something. Now she was more self confident and she looked truly content and happy.

"That would be great." Jude agreed, but then she grew more serious again, remembering what had brought her to her old friend. It was somehow weird to think that she knew Nora for only three years and was yet calling her an old friend. "Ok, since I know that you don't have much time for me, I'll just get straight to the point. There are some things you don't know about me and about my past that I probably shouldn't have kept from you." Jude began without further stalling. She knew that Nora, just like Nikki, had been curious about her past from the very beginning, but she hadn't bugged Jude about it and Jude had always been grateful for that.

"My real name isn't Jude Johnson. I changed my last name into Johnson three years ago, shortly before I came to London and we met. My real name is Jude Harrison and I've won a singing contest called "Instant Star" in Canada when I was 15. I got a three album contract with G-Major, a record label in Toronto and I worked there before I came to London. I had personal issues back then and it's a pretty long and complicated story. But the thing it all comes down to is that I couldn't take it anymore as Jude Harrison, so I left town and changed my name the day I had fulfilled my contract and was free to go. I hadn't had contact with anybody from my past life before I came to New York a few days ago. I had actually hoped to never have to face the person I was ever again, which was why I had always refused to do movies on this side of the ocean cause I didn't want to risk recognition. Well, just as I had feared, my old manager recognized me on some photos and visited me in my hotel room three days ago. He offered me a new contract and when I refused he asked me to at least do one last concert, you know, for the fans and everything since my last album seems to have gone multiple platinum and it must have gotten some awards too. The thing is, that although I didn't want to admit it, he's right. I need to do this concert for my fans and for myself. To make a clean break you know?" Jude paused and took another deep breath.

"What I'm trying to say is that I wanted to inform you of everything and talk to you about that concert. I was wondering if maybe, since you're my manager and everything, maybe you could arrange and organize the whole thing together with Darius? It would really mean a lot to me, because I really don't want to deal with him and everyone else I used to know. Please?" Jude finished, sounding kind of breathless since she had spoken pretty fast. She tried to shield herself mentally from whatever reaction Nora would show. If she'd hate her or forgive her the lies as easily as Nathan did, Jude knew that she just would have to deal with it. And even though she didn't feel ready, she would do whatever she could to make it up to Nora.

"So you're actually a professional singer? And you changed your name?" Nora asked slowly.

"Yup, that's me." Jude answered somewhat sheepishly, still not sure what to expect from her manager/friend.

"Alright, then I assume that from now on I can look for musicals and other parts that involve singing too, right?" Nora questioned, but didn't really expect an answer and started typing something into her PC.

"Ehm, Nora, is that all? No comment, no nothing?"

"What did you expect? That I'd hate you because you didn't tell me you were a singer once?" Nora looked up at Jude with an amused smile on her lips. Jude felt stupid but nodded. "Pretty much something like that, yeah."

She couldn't yet believe that she was once again so easily off the hook. She either had really good but strange friends, or she had somehow missed an important fact that made all the lies unimportant.

"Please, I always knew you were hiding something about your past. But I also knew that you'd tell me whenever you're ready, so I didn't pressure you. Admitted, I didn't expect something as crazy as this, but whatever. This changes nothing between us, does it? And from what you said, you'll still have me as your manager, so as long as you'll tell me that complicated and very long story of yours, I'd say we're still friends. You're like my little sister, and sisters are for life." Nora told the younger woman, now smiling warmly. Jude began to grin too. This was nearly too good to be true.

"Aw, thanks big sis, I love you too. And no, it of course doesn't change anything between us. But about musicals, god no. I won't do something cheesy like that. But these movies about singers, like Coyote Ugly, I'm all for it. But no musicals, please!"

"Alright. About the name thing, do you still want to go by Jude Johnson, or do you want to change it back?" Nora asked, sounding more businesslike again.

"Ehm, I honestly haven't thought about that yet. Until a few hours ago, I hadn't even decided if I wanted to really do the concert..." Jude trailed off, thinking about all the other stuff she would have to decide now and all the questions she would have to answer. Nothing to look forward too was the press, for sure.

"Well, the media will have a field day of course, but there's no reason why it should end up badly for you. You've got nothing to hide, after all. If I were you, I'd stick with Jude Johnson though. I mean I don't know how famous you were, but "JJ" is like your trademark. And it sounds good too."

"Yeah, yeah you're right I guess. When I think about it, I don't wanna be Jude Harrison again anyways. I'm just not that person anymore. I'm Jude Johnson and I don't want to let people doubt that even for one minute." Jude paused and thought about what she had just said. She really liked her new name and her new life, so why change anything about it?

"Alright, Nora, thanks for being so great about this. I gotta go though, I have a meeting at the set in a few hours and I've been up for hours already so I need to go to the hotel and get ready. Ehm, could you maybe call Darius Mills, or rather G-Major, and tell them that I'm doing the concert, but only if they make it happen before Tuesday, since the shootings start then. Today's Thursday, so maybe they could make it happen on Sunday night? That would be great." Jude told her manager while standing up and walking over to the door.

"Sure, I'll talk to the guy. I heard a lot about him, they say he's kinda bossy?" Nora asked with raised eyebrows. Jude chuckled and answered while she was slipping into her jacket.

"Oh trust me, he is. But he really wants me for this concert so he shouldn't make any problems. Just tell him that I'll ask another label if he can't manage it. Oh, and tell him that I don't want anymore surprises from the past. I don't want to see Tommy or anyone else."

"Tommy?"

"Don't ask, it's part of the very long and very complicated story. Darius will know what I'm talking about. Thanks again for doing this. Call me, alright?"

"I will, Jude. I'll see you, and don't let them get you down." Nora called after her friend and client before she reached for the phone and made some calls. This really promised to be one hell of a week.

When Jude climbed out of her limo and headed for the entrance of the hotel, she was so occupied with typing a SMS on her blueberry, that she didn't even notice Tommy approaching at first. But when he suddenly stood in her way and a shadow fell on her face, she looked up.

"Hello Jude." He said in a low tone that made Jude's heart beat faster. She hated that he still had that effect on her, but it probably was mostly the guilt, or so she figured. She knew that she would have to pay eventually for just leaving him like that in the morning.

"Hey Tommy, what a coincidence." Jude began and tried to act casual, but her voice sounded fake even in her own ears. But what she hated the most was Tommy's knowing smile.

"You know, you might have changed, but I still can read you like an open book, girl." Tommy said and chuckled at Jude's pouting expression. He could literally see how annoyed she was that she couldn't argue with that.

"Yeah well, then why are you here? I mean even if you couldn't read me like an open book, you should have got the hint this morning. When someone sneaks out without saying goodbye or leaving a note, it usually means that they do not want to talk. Same thing goes for not answering the phone or the million messages on voice mail. What else does a woman got to do to get rid of you?" Jude asked challenging and crossed her arms in front of her chest. She saw Tommy look her over and was suddenly glad that she hadn't just put on something this morning when she had left the house for coffee, but had spent some time on choosing a cute outfit. Not for Tommy of course.

"Maybe she shouldn't break down and fall asleep, crying, in my arms. Maybe she shouldn't be so obviously affected by it and so easy to read, and that even so she's said to be a great actress. And maybe she shouldn't make me act so insane around her that I always say and do the wrong things and regret it terribly afterwards." Tommy told her quietly, leaning in more closely while speaking so that he whispered the last words into her left ear. Neither of them failed to notice the shivers that ran down Jude's spine.

"Tommy, don't do this. I never said I was perfect, I never said my life is. But I'm happy with the way things are, and maybe, if you hadn't made such a mess out of everything and kept bringing up the past, maybe I wouldn't have had a break down in the first place. I have a new life now, and you're not a part of it, god how often do I have to tell you this?! You always said that BoyzAttack was in another life for you, and you're sort of my BoyzAttack. You always said that you're a guy with a lot of baggage, well guess what, I'm a woman with baggage now too." Jude said and finally pushed Tommy away.

Tommy sighed, realizing that he wouldn't be able to change her mind right now on the street in front of her hotel. He would need more time to prepare and more time in general, he couldn't afford making her run from him and stay hidden for another three years.

"Alright, I'll stop for now. But there's another thing I wanted to talk to you about. Just give me five minutes somewhere where we can talk in private and I'll stop showing up on your doorstep or calling you all day. Please, I promise I won't bring up the past." Tommy pleaded, hoping that she'd go for it. If she didn't, he didn't know what else to do. Because this was an appeal to their old friendship, to everything they had shared besides the obvious chemistry. To the friendship neither of them had been willing to give up, even though they had hurt each other often enough.

Jude locked gazes with Tommy for about a minute, trying to figure out what he was planning and if he was saying the truth.

"Alright. Five minutes." She said and sighed, knowing that she'd probably regret it. But she couldn't just say no to him when he was so sincere. And if he did start talking about them again, she could just leave and at least say that she gave him a chance to be something like a friend.

The two walked into the Plaza, Tommy following Jude with a wide grin on his face. When she turned around to him in the middle of the lobby, he quickly changed his expression and looked nearly neutral at her. She shook her head knowingly but gave him a weak smile.

"I have to go up to my room and change first; I got a meeting at the set in a hour. But if you could wait down here for 20 minutes, we could talk then for five minutes. Just wait at the bar and drink a coffee on my bill, alright?" Jude asked, signaling the concierge that was coming over to them that everything was fine. Tommy gave the concierge a triumphing smile before he answered Jude.

"Ok, I'll wait. But I'll pay for my own coffee." He smiled his typical reckless and cheeky smile that reminded Jude of the hell of a mischievous boy he once must have been and of all the stories she had heard about his rebel times in BoyzAttack.

"Do whatever you want, but I think by now I have about as much money as you do, if not even more. Especially since now I can finally access my Jude Harrison accounts again without being afraid of you showing up on my doorstep. From what I heard there must be quite a lot of money now, since my last album seems to have done pretty well." She winked at his stunned face and walked away, now smiling herself. It was true, she really hadn't gotten any money from her old accounts since she had left Toronto, even if she had just realized that this morning. She had taken quite a chunk of money in cash with her to London and afterwards the movie had gone so great and her pay had gotten better with every movie, that she had never really had money troubles. Hence no need to access her old accounts when her new ones were filled enough.

Tommy looked after the beautiful blonde even though she had already vanished into a elevator. Then he suddenly snapped out of his daze and shook his head amused at Jude's words. It was so typical Jude. Though he hated to admit that she might even be right. Sure, BoyzAttack had been popular and pretty big, but it's been years since then and though Tommy didn't have any money troubles and was well paid by G-Major, he hadn't forgotten that Chaz and the others had been broke quite a few times during the last years.

So, please review. I know that some don't regulary review, but it would be nice to just get a certain feedback. And even if it's just "keep going" or "good work" or whatever. It's what keeps me going.

Hope you enjoyed it. ;)

Kathy