*Warning: Highly mild mature content in this

Of Unraveling and Falling Apart

Two months flew by as the winter snow melted to make way for spring. Life once again flourished on the barren soil as the migrating birds returned to their homeland. The silent creek bubbled with newly-fed waters and the bees hummed their working tune. Life was joyful in this season.

Or so it seems.

While the natural world returned to its warmth, the mortals remained in the icy grip of tension.

Izayoi had been kindly resettled by Touga into a land near the Southwest. It was a hidden location where Touga could check on her frequently without arousing too many attentions. He would visit her once every week and provide her with all the daily necessities she needed.

On the other hand, Izayoi's father had sent out many men to search for his missing daughter. Although he was a harsh man, he still cared for his daughter in the deep labyrinth of his heart. And over the period of two months, he started missing her presence. Of course, he suspected that the woman's disappearance had something to do with the demons that have miraculously disappeared as well on that fateful night. But without concrete evidence, he could do nothing against the demons. In the end, he had reluctantly signed the treaty with Touga, thereby establishing a border between the human lord's lands and the Western Land. He was bitter over the whole event, knowing that it was his own fault that he could not call off the treaty without instigating even more tension. Silently though, he vowed that he would get his daughter back, regardless of the consequences.

One month after the incident, Touga's wife had returned from her parent's residence. Touga had visited her parents and asked for forgiveness. The parents, though disgusted by Touga's act of clemency towards the humans, have grudgingly accepted his apology and sent their daughter back. After all, Touga was still the Lord of the Western Land who held immense power. Sadly though, the invisible crevasse between Touga and his wife did not fully mend. The cold war between the two raged on.

As for Sesshoumaru, he was as silent as ever. However, he started taking more interests in observing his father's movements. Touga did not know that Sesshoumaru was trailing him whenever he went to visit Izayoi, nor did he notice that Sesshoumaru was present to watch the quarrels between him and his wife. The young youkai learned a lot through his observations and instinctively, he knew something unfortunate was about to happen.

He did not have to wait long.

"There we go," Izayoi smiled to herself as she finished her final touches on the painting. She placed the paper aside to dry while she prepared her morning tea. Life for the past month had been, at best, sedentary. It wasn't that she was unhappy, on the contrary, she felt more at home in this peaceful location. But she also hoped that she could do something more than make tea, paint, write and read the whole day. Call it her sixth sense, but she could feel that something big was going to happen in her life soon.

Touga had made sure that she was fully supplied with all the things she needed. He even found a capable and loyal servant for her to do all the chores around the place. She was truly indebted to that man.

As of late though, Izayoi realized that all she could think of was the demon lord. He plagued her thoughts at day and her dreams at night. Whenever he visited, she became happy. They would talk for hours about the most mundane things. Sometimes she would talk about her old life while he talked about the recent going-on in the outside world. There was a silent mutual agreement that they avoided any topics regarding her father and Touga's occupation altogether because to do so would bring unwanted anxiety and misery. However, Izayoi was no fool. She knew by her beating heart and blushing cheeks that she was in love with the demon lord who had saved her three times. But she also knew that it was not proper decorum to pursue after a married man. Nonetheless, she still hoped the painting that she did would let him understand just a little and perhaps…he could return the feeling?

Little did she know that Touga had been feeling the same turmoil. For the past two months, Touga had been restless at night. At first he thought it was due to the stress from the recent attacks from China again. However, he found his thoughts constantly weaving its way back to that one human woman. He would see her smiling radiantly or laughing at some petty joke that he said. Her presence would wash away all his frustrations and leave him feeling refreshed again. And as the attention grew, Touga realized that Izayoi was his intended, his mate. It was an ancient lore that all mortals have a soul mate and when they meet, they would be attracted to each other. It was such an old lore that hardly anyone gave a thought to it anymore. The lore didn't say that soul mates must marry each other; it only stated that they will be attracted to each other through an invisible bond. Anything after that depended upon the couple's initiative. For that, Touga was thankful. He didn't want to be 'forced' into a relationship with Izayoi because of the bond between the two of them. It was wrong. He still had a family to care about, although that family was slowly crumbling apart.

"Good morning, my lady, I see that the lively spring has lured you out into the garden. It is a wonderful day to be outside, is it not?" Touga greeted Izayoi in his usual way as he made his weekly visit. She was outside in the garden, basking in the sunlight.

Izayoi smiled fondly at the mischievous tone underlying his usual greeting. She would return his reply with a witty remark of her own, and the playful but polite banter would go on. Occasionally they would 'accidentally' brush their hands, or bump into each other when they navigate through the narrower paths in the garden. When they made a round through the garden and reached Izayoi's residence, she gestured for Touga to follow her and hurried inside to gather the painting she worked on earlier.

This is it. Izayoi thought to herself, I am fully undressing my feelings through this painting. Whether or not he will accept it is my own undoing. She exhaled the breath that she had been holding and pushed the painting into Touga's hands. He glanced curiously at the rolled up paper in his hands.

"I am working on a new technique of painting lately, and I thought I could give it to you as a present for helping me. It is not much considering all the things you have done for me. For that, I am truly grateful and when the time comes, I hope to repay you back in full." A blush flared angrily across Izayoi's face as she said this. She darted her head down to hide her embarrassment, though she did secretly peek from under her bangs to gauge his reaction.

Touga smiled at her innocence and unrolled the painting. On the paper was a picture of a lone lotus plant located in the middle of a vast lake. However, instead of one lotus flower, there were two lotus flowers blossoming out of one stalk, their heads facing away from one another. In the background, two birds were flying around each other, their tails twisting in a bright show of colors. His smile dropped significantly and Izayoi's heart dropped along with it.

"I…thank you for the painting, it is most wonderful." Touga replied tightly back. "But I think I need to return to my palace now, there is something I still need to do." He folded the painting carefully and placed it inside his robes. When he was about to exit the residence, he looked back and saw Izayoi's crestfallen face. He sighed, making his way back to the woman and placing a hand under her chin so she would look up at him. "I'm sorry. I just…needed some time to think. I will visit again when I take care of the errands back at home."

"Don't worry," Izayoi waved off his hand as cheerfully as she could. "There was no other meaning behind the painting; it is merely an attempt on my part at drawing new subjects. I had never drawn a lotus flower and birds before. But let me not dally you any longer, you need to return to attend to your government and…family."

The pause in the sentence had not gone unnoticed. Touga looked at her a moment longer and went away. The painting felt like lead in his robes, weighing his heart down. He knew what it meant. The two birds and two-headed lotus was a symbol of undying love between two lovers. He finally knew Izayoi's feelings towards him now, but he did not know what to do with his own.

"The casualties are rising…"

"We've barely made grounds in the port…"

"The mourning must be postponed due to the recent outbreak…"

The depressing reports were endless. After he had got back from his rendezvous with Izayoi, Touga had been swamped by reports from various scouts. He had placed the painting in his study room and proceeded to meet all the council men and generals. The war with China had taken a turn for the worse, and what worried him most was that there were news of opportunistic attackers from inland Japan too. One of them was Ryuukotsusei, a powerful dragon demon that resided in the North not too far off. Rumor had it that he was starting to become unruly.

"You look pale, my son," One of Touga's most trusted council men and cherished friend since childhood approached him after the meeting. He was an ancient demon that had served Touga's father before he was even born. Touga had always considered him as part of his own family. "Is there something bothering you?"

"I am fine," Touga mumbled, although he knew it was a lie. Everything was not fine. He was stressed from all the setbacks he had heard about his army, worried about Ryuukotsusei's movements, despaired over his relationship with his wife and confused about his emotions towards a certain human woman. Everything was not fine indeed!

His friend knew as well that he was lying but chose not to comment upon it. "I've actually came here for another business. I think we should keep an eye on Ryuukotsusei as a precaution since he is a formidable foe. I have a proposal for you: I volunteer to go and spy on him." He held up a claw to prevent Touga from speaking, "pardon me sir, while I understand that it is dangerous, someone must get the job done. We don't have a lot of spare men currently due to the war. Why not send someone like me who had been sitting idle around in the council? At least I could be of some use."

"Sir Ito, I appreciate your efforts, but you must not forget your old age!"

Ito smiled grimly and slapped Touga on the back. "I may be old and less able, but I have years of experience to back me up. I know about utilizing the geographical terrain to hide myself than anyone else."

At his pleading look, Touga had to relent. His friend used to be a good warrior before being wounded critically in a past battle. While Ito had recovered tremendously, he was never as able as before. For fear of his friend's life again, Touga had assigned him to a seat in the council and made sure that he was not sent on too many difficult missions. Now that they are lacking in personnel, his friend was an ideal choice.

"You may go, but please be careful. Return immediately if anything seemed wrong, don't be stubborn and stay in the danger zone." Touga consented finally.

"Thank you very much for granting my wish. I will not disappoint you." Ito bowed, ready to leave. "Touga, if you wish to talk to anyone, feel free to talk to me when I come back." He left to prepare for his mission, leaving Touga alone in the chamber.

"My lord, another village has been desiccated by the youkai. This is the fourth one in one week."

"I understand, you may leave," Izayoi's father waved his hand in dismissal as he watched the messenger exit. He turned his eyes upon his council men. "As you have heard, my fellow men, the youkais seemed to have forgotten their side of the treaty and attacked us. Youkais are malicious creatures that cannot be trusted whatsoever. We have placed our trust in them by establishing a treaty with them properly, and yet they return our kindness by destroying our villages. What do you propose we do?"

"We declare war with them." It was the unanimous answer from the members.

"Then so be it, let us declare war. Gather all the human clans from near and far." The lord nodded his head in approval. He had been seeking the chance to attack the youkais for his daughter's loss, and now the time was ripe for it.

Unfortunately, what he did not know was that the youkais that have been attacking them were foreign youkais from China. A part of the Chinese youkai army had broken off and circled around the Western Land, intending to attack them from the back in a 'sandwich' style ambush. Some of the stray youkais from the army decided to feed upon the nearby human village. The humans could not distinguish between the different types of youkais and thought that it was Touga's subjects that were attacking them.

After Touga went to meet his council men, a servant was sent in to clean up his room. She busied about sweeping the floors to make sure it was spotless. While doing so, her broom accidentally bumped against the table and a painting fell to the floor. It unrolled across the floor to reveal a two-headed lotus and two intertwining birds.

"Oh my," the servant picked up the painting and studied it. "This certainly is exquisite. I hope I didn't ruin the painting." She scanned the painting carefully to make sure there were no blemishes on it.

"What do we have here? A snooping servant?"

The cold voice brought the servant out of her examination. She turned around to behold the Lady of the Western Land.

"I-I'm terribly sorry, my lady. I was cleaning the floors and accidentally upset one of Lord Inu no Taishou's painting. I was merely checking for any blemishes on the painting." The servant quickly explained herself, not wanting to face the wrath of the Lady. She bowed low on the ground, hoping that her humble attitude would appease the demoness or at least lessen her punishment.

Luckily for her, Touga's wife was not paying attention to her rambling. The Lady was more concerned with the painting in the servant's hands. "Give me that," she snatched the painting away from the servant. Upon seeing the painting, her eyes narrowed dangerously.

"So this is why he refuses to apologize."

The next two days were quickly turning from bad to downright nightmarish for the dog general. He had not slept at all in the past few nights since he was busy with war meetings. Not only was Touga overwhelmed by all the reports of the battle nearby, he had also received bad news that the humans were declaring war. He knew that the humans were mistaken, but he did not know how to settle the issue. All the messengers that he had sent had either came back dejected or wounded since the humans would not hear his explanation. But he did not want to confront Izayoi's father on the battlefield either. The human lord was not a bad man, just slightly deluded and stubborn. If he had harmed the human lord, how was he ever going to explain it to Izayoi?

Suddenly there were voices outside his room. He could hear his servants saying to someone that he was busy, but the female voice brushed them aside. The shouji slid aside to reveal his wife. Her expression spelled trouble.

"I am glad to see that you have decided to return after your…nightly absences," the Lady gave a sinister smile. The emphasis in her words escaped Touga's notice. "And how are you feeling? You must be stressed from all the work as of late."

Partly confused about his wife's sudden concern over his health, but also extremely jaded from his work, Touga did not suspect his wife at all. He merely answered her truthfully, "indeed, I have not slept for the past few days. Did you know that the human lord had just declared war on us? It was over a trivial mistake! They thought that our youkais were the ones that were attacking them!"

The smile disappeared from his wife's face as she regarded him with a superior attitude. "And did I not warn you before not to show mercy towards those lowly beings? See how they repay your generosity."

Perhaps he was tired of his wife's incomprehension or perhaps he was too stressed, but Touga's patience finally snapped. "Keep your words to yourself if you cannot appreciate the efforts that I have made! I worked hard for the coexistence of the two races and yet you cannot understand all that I have gone through just to keep this fragile relationship up! Then again, when had you supported me fully? When had you lent a tiny ounce of understanding to my cause?"

Not to be spoken down to, the Lady also hissed back. "At least I am not the one cheating behind one's back!" With a quick flick of her hand, she sent a gust of wind towards the table, strong enough to knock the painting off the ground. It fell to the ground and unrolled to reveal the picture.

Touga's face paled as he saw the painting, but anger quickly overrode it. "Is this the whole reason behind your strange behavior today? You thought that I was seeing another woman!"

"Explain the painting then," suddenly the Lady was calm again, but the sneer on her face did not disappear. She knew that she had the upper hand since she had the concrete evidence. "If you were not seeing a woman, explain to me the meaning of this painting then. And perhaps you could also explain your unannounced absence once per week."

"I-" Touga was at a loss of words. Technically speaking, he was indeed seeing a woman, but not in that way. He was merely helping someone in need of help. Or at least that was what he thought he was doing. His heart, however, was beating a different tune. It was saying that he saw the woman because he was attracted to her. "I have personal things that I have to attend to."

"I hardly think that there is anything more personal than the needs of your family." His wife scoffed haughtily. "Your avoidance of the topic has just confirmed my words and suspicions. You are such a disgrace."

"Enough! Sometimes I wonder what I see in you," Touga growled and made his way across the room, ignoring the indignant sputters of his wife. "I will no longer tolerate your insolence. Until you learn your place, I suggest that you refrain from talking to me." He slammed the shouji shut and went into his council room. It was better to meet up with his generals right now than talk to his infuriating wife.

If Touga had not been so angry and guilty over being caught, he would have noticed Sesshoumaru outside his room, watching him with narrowed eyes. Perhaps if he had not been in such a hurry to escape the situation, he would have noticed the disappointed look and bitter tone when his wife spoke the last words.

Unfortunately for Touga, the council room was an equally bad choice. When he entered the room, he was met with the grim faces of his generals. They were sitting in a circle discussing something in a hushed tone. When they saw Touga, they rose and bowed unanimously.

As they settled down again, quite a few of them averted their eyes. There was a tense moment of silence.

"Is something the matter?" Touga glanced around at the uneasy generals, his apprehension rising.

After what seemed like an eternity, one of the older general finally spoke. "My lord, I am afraid that we bear bad news for you. We just received words that the honorable council man Ito, whom you sent to observe Ryuukotsusei, passed away this morning."

Time seemed to stop as the news slowly sank into Touga's mind. His long-time childhood friend, who had always been by his side through thick and thin, was dead. It was only two days ago that they talked. "How did it happen?"

"We are not sure, but he was attacked by someone on the way. We had only been able to retrieve part of his body, the other half was gone…"

The rest of the conversation was drowned out as images of his friend lying broken in a barren field kept on replaying in Touga's mind. A ton of 'what ifs' circled around like annoying flies. What if he had refused his friend's request? What if he had allowed his friend to join the battle as an official rather than send him on a one-man's quest? What if he had been the one to spy on Ryuukotsusei instead? He was in a daze and ignored the concern voices around him.

When Touga finally became aware of his surroundings again, he found himself in his feral form cruising through the sky. Although he was in a daze a few moments ago, his body acted naturally and guided him towards Izayoi's residence. That was the only place that he knew would calm him down. He needed some time alone, far away from the strives of the world, and calm the blood pumping in his veins. He did not know how to describe his emotions at the moment: anger, sadness, depravity, helplessness…

He landed none too majestically in the garden and stumbled a bit like a drunken man. What did he want? What should he do? He tripped on a stone and fell down, but did not get up. He was content to lie amidst the roses and stare blankly at the sky.

Eventually, the sound of footsteps approached, followed by an inaudible gasp.

"Touga-sama?"

It was her again. The woman who had brought so much trouble into his life, and yet filled it with a satisfaction that he had not felt before. Without looking at her, he could imagine her face. He traced invisible lines in the air as he drew out her facial features. He was dimly aware of her frantic voice and her hands shaking him gently, trying to bring him out of his stupor. It would be so nice to just close his eyes and let everything disappear.

"Touga-sama, Touga-sama!" Izayoi worried as she saw the handsome demon closed his eyes and laid still. "Someone, help me! Touga-sama is in trouble!"

Eventually the servant came out, saw Touga's form and quickly came to help him up. Together with Izayoi, they half-dragged, half-carried the demon inside the house. They lay him down on one of the futons. The demon hardly budged at all to acknowledge his consciousness.

"What do you think could have happened to him?" Izayoi asked as she pressed a wet cloth to his forehead.

The servant examined him slightly before pronouncing "I think his lordship is in shock. My brother fell down from a cow before and fell into shock. The symptoms seem to be the same so far."

Izayoi nodded as she listened to the servant. A thousand questions swam through her mind: what could have gotten a strong demon like him into shock? She glanced down at the handsome demon and brushed at his bangs gently.

Please be fine.

Touga awoke to the incessant crickets in the background and the stifling heat. His head was pounding and he felt a headache coming on. Where was he? He attempted to sit up and realize that what had caused the unbearable heat was a thick blanket draped across his body. His armor had been removed and stacked neatly on the side. His hair had also been released from the binds of his hair tie and lay scattered about his body. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he realized that he was in Izayoi's residence. That was when the memories of what happened hit him full force.

All of a sudden, Touga felt like a small child again, helpless and desperately searching for security. It had been years since he felt the burning sensation of tears behind his eyes. Tears were something that he had forfeited long ago when he inherited the title of Lord of the Western Land. It would do no good to display weakness in front of his subjects and enemies. He learned how to bury his emotions within a mask of power and confidence, and how to become the figure that led people. Not once did people consider the fact that he needed to rely on someone too.

Finally, things were starting to crumble, one disappointment after the other. The portrait of the happy family that he had been trying to construct for so long was non-existence. His childhood friend was no longer at his side, which was entirely his fault. He had to find a way to face Izayoi's father, whom he did not want to hurt. He met a woman whom he felt an unnatural attraction towards. His people were suffering from the war…

It was all too much for Touga. Sure, he had been in tight situations before since China had attacked more than once. But he had not been in a situation where he was physically, mentally and emotionally drained.

"Sir Touga, are you alright?"

Touga whipped his head around to stare at the woman before him. She was looking back at him with genuine worry. Perhaps she thought he could not see her clearly in the darkness, but she was wearing a thin nightgown. She looked like an angel with just the plain white attire on.

"I am fine, lady Izayoi," he grouched out as he bury his face in his hands, willing everything to disappear. He stiffened when he heard shuffling and felt soft hands engulfed him in an embrace.

"It's going to be alright. Even if the world seem to be falling apart right now, just know that there will always be someone supporting you," Izayoi whispered soothingly as she stroke his hair. It took a lot of courage for her to overcome her shyness and approach the demon to hug him, but she felt that he needed some emotional support right now. He looked so lost…

The embrace was such a simple gesture, without ulterior motives or romantic notions. It was just a simple embrace that was meant to sooth him, to wash away his worries. It was an embrace that was filled with understanding and acceptance. And because of this, Touga finally allowed the tears to escape his eyes. Without thinking, he buried his head against Izayoi's neck and hugged her tightly as if she was his lifeline. His body shook as silent tears ran down his cheeks.

To say surprise was an understatement for Izayoi when Touga hugged back. She could feel his warm tears soaking through her nightgown. It was unnerving to watch such a strong man break down, but somehow she understood. She understood the need to bottle up one's emotions; after all, all those years living in her home, she was molded by her father to become the standard image of an upper-class lady. That was why she had the forest to help her calm down and be herself again. Only in that forest can she express herself fully.

"Thank you." At length, Touga stopped his tears and untangle himself from the petite woman. For a moment he was worried that she would laugh at his weakness, but all he saw when he looked up was her gentle smile. His felt his heart lurched and he knew in that moment that he loved her regardless of whether she was his mate or not. Without preamble, he leaned forward and kissed Izayoi.

Izayoi was shocked. She was unable to move as she felt Touga's lips on her. The kiss was neither passionate nor gentle. It was firm and filled with conviction of a decision made. When he pulled away, she was breathless. "Sir Touga, this is indecent!" Deep down though, she felt the tingle that went between them when their lips touched. It was a pleasant feeling and she craved for more.

"I apologize for my sudden behavior," Touga explained sheepishly, "but I thought that I could perhaps affirm my feelings for you, as you have in the painting. However, if you wished to take back that…" Before Touga could finish his sentence, he felt Izayoi kissed him on the forehead.

"Thank you, thank you, Sir Touga, you did not know how much this meant for me." Izayoi closed her eyes as she felt tears of happiness roll down her cheeks. "I knew not when, but my heart gradually belonged to you over the time we spent together. I was terribly afraid because you already had a family that loved you."

Touga sighed when she mentioned his 'loving' family. "Lady Izayoi, you misunderstood. While I strove for a complete family, it was never within my grasp. I have failed to become a proper father and good husband." He smiled bitterly to himself. He started when he felt Izayoi hugged him again.

"You are not a bad father or husband; it's just perhaps fate dictating your path." She smiled up at him and kissed him again on the lips.

"Lady Izayoi," Touga started as his eyes glazed over.

"Izayoi, just call me Izayoi tonight. And let us be a pair of normal woman and man for the night." Izayoi whispered.

"Izayoi…" Touga closed his eyes and let fate direct his decision…

A gust of wind blew outside the residence as it shed the trees of their early blossoms. Flower petals rained violently down in a shower. The petals dance amidst the air as it fell down, twisting and turning, flashing its brilliance for one more time before landing on the ground. Fireflies mimicked the petals as they weaved amongst the grasses, darting in and out, in and out in an endless dance. Complementing the beauty of the firefly dance was the din of the crickets chirping. Their song rise in ecstasy and grew in volume to a deafening roar before dying out again.

Up in the heavens above, a comet flew across the sky, leaving behind it the swirling masses of clouds. Finally, all one could see were the stars and the grand Milky Way.

A/N:

Wow, it's been quite awhile since I updated this story. But writing this chapter was like pulling teeth out for me. I have already trashed 4 previous copies of this chapter, and I finally said to myself "if I trash one more copy, I am never going to update this chapter." And so, I decided to stick with this version, even though I am really unhappy with the transitions, plot and writing in this chapter. It did not help either that lately all the writings I have done are only academical or scientific writing, so the writing style is very different from writing a fiction.

I've also written this chapter while listening to this song 'Fate' by Kokia, so perhaps you could listen to it while reading to get more of the mood? Haha

On the one note, the idea of the lotus and birds come from the Chinese proverb "在天愿为比翼鸟、在地愿为并蒂莲", which symbolize undying love between two lovers. I've always loved this proverb since it is very poetical.

I'll also give you special kudos if you know what the last two paragraph was referring to and if you can make that connection between the images and the underlying meaning.

...

...

And if you don't, here's the answer: they are having sex. Now try to re-interpret the words again from this perspective (hopefully you can see the connection between certain images and certain...actions). The whole idea is based off one of the most well-written sex scene I have read in a Chinese literature. Whereas I notice most people like to write about sex either explicitly or pass over it briefly in a short sentence (e.g they had sex. Next morning she went to work etc etc.), I have never read someone who manage to combine aesthetic images and write about sex explicitly without being technically 'explicit'. It is up to the readers to make that connection. And I have to admit, it is by far one of the most beautiful and well-constructed sex scene that I have read. (No wonder that author was famous...). Now you finally get why I place the warning at the start of the chapter no?

Anyhow, enough of my running commentary on sex scenes...

Queen Emily the Diligent and Death2society: Thank you for the reviews and glad you guys find it interesting so far!

ALiC.P: Yeah, I find it more interesting to differentiate the demonic system from the human system. And yes, things definitely turn sour in this chapter xD But there was tadbit of sweetness in the end too :)