Happy Easter everyone! (well to those of you who celebrate it!) Hope you enjoy it! And thanks to everyone for their reviews. You guys keep me going:-D

-Revan-

I didn't know how many days had passed. I stayed in my room, only leaving when I felt the necessity of heading to the refresher. My stomach was growing in protest from lack of food, but I continued to ignore it.

Sometime during the past couple of days, Mission had opted the assistance of T3 to unlock the door. She was now sitting next to me on my bed, stoking my hair, offering soothing words in my ear. Despite myself, I found her presence comforting. And yet, I still found myself wanting to be alone. Fear for myself, but mostly for the others.

Something was happening to me that I couldn't pinpoint. During my solitude, I took it upon myself to release my anger onto myself, with the help of a small dagger that I had found underneath my mattress. I felt it better to inflict pain upon myself than to accidentally take it out on anyone else. That was the last thing I wanted.

And Mission had taken it upon herself to administer to my self-inflicted wounds, without a word. And I silently thanked her for that. I knew she looked up to me, and I hated for her to see me like this, but I couldn't seem to pull myself out of this self-destructive path that I seemed to be on.

"Alora..." Mission whispered, shifting uncomfortably on the bed. "you need to eat something."

I remained silent. I wasn't worthy of such privileges.

"Seriously. You can't do this to yourself. Not over a man."

My eyes popped open. For the first time since the Leviathan, I spoke, through cracked lips. "I..." my voice came out hoarse. "this isn't about him. It's everything I've done...that I can't remember doing."

She continued to stroke my hair. "So, you don't remember anything about being Revan?"

I shook my head. "A few flashbacks. That's it." I paused. "But what I have seen...I don't like it. I don't want to be that person again. I...it just doesn't seem real. I don't want to put anyone in danger." I looked at her finally. "You...you should go."

"Nuh-uh. I'm not going anywhere, if Carth isn't going to provide you any comfort, then I'll be damned if I won't." she paused and gave me a half smile. "Although, I, um, lack the comfort that he could give you and don't even think about coming to me for that!"

I chuckled, despite myself and put an arm around her shoulders. "Don't worry, Mission. I love you, but you're not quite my type."

She laughed and leaned her head on my shoulder. "Thank the maker for small favors." she suddenly turned serious. "He still cares about you." she said, closing her eyes. "He asks about you when I leave your room. Asks how you're doing."

I sighed. "He hates me. He's just wondering if I've fallen to the darkside yet. He's just waiting..."

A knock on the door interrupted me and Jolee entered, a half smile on his face and a cup in his hand. "Hey, kiddo. Thought you could use some tea." he gave Mission and smile. "Mind if I have some time alone with our Sith Lord?"

Mission looked at me and I nodded. She gave my shoulder a squeeze and left the room.

When she was gone, Jolee shut the door and handed the tea to me. He gave me an exhausted look. "I was going to ask how you were doing but the gashes on your arms tells me what I need to know."

I sheepishly turned my head away from him.

He sighed. "Revan...Alora...whatever it is you want to call yourself now, you can't allow this pull you down to the darkside. The lad just needs time to adjust, as do you. We're all in this together, and sooner or later the two of you are going to have to talk this out. You're ruining what could be the your chance for happiness."

I looked over at him then. "I'm not the one who wanted pretend nothing happened between us, Jolee. That was Carth. I mean, I know why he doesn't want anything to do with me now, and frankly, I can't blame him." I sighed. "You of all people should know how he feels."

"I do."

I nodded. "I can't ask him to forgive me what I've done to his life..."

Jolee interrupted me. "Nor should you, my dear. You don't even know that you're the one who caused..."

I frowned. "Apparently I am. From what I've heard of Malak and Revan, I was the one who led him down to the darkside to begin with. It it hadn't been for me...none of this would have happened."

Jolee raised an eyebrow. "Do you really believe that?"

I shrugged. "I don't know what to believe anymore. But the feeling is still there. And I can't hide from my past." I laughed out of the irony. "And I don't even remember my past."

Jolee matched my shrug. "So change it. Don't let it change who you are now. The Jedi Council may have wiped out your old identity and programmed you with a new one, but you chose your personality. Hell, for all the Council knew, they could have programmed you with an identity that could fall to the darkside as quickly as anyone else. But you are the one who chose to do good deeds, care about your companions, made them care for you. And that goes for the wrinkled old coot sitting beside you."

I smiled and took a sip of the tea. It burned a little on my dry throat. "Thank you for having confidence in me, Jolee. It means a lot to me."

He gave me a lopsided grin. "Bah. Think nothing of it, my dear." he turned serious again and patted my knee as he stood. "You need to have confidence in yourself. Keep in mind, you and Carth made promises to each other. He promised to protect you, and you promised to help him find his son." he looked me directly in the eye. "Prove to him that you've changed. Help him find Dustil. We'll be arriving at Korriban tomorrow, the two of you are going to need all the help you can give to each other during this time." he paused. "And I have a feeling, that once things are finished that you both will find a way to keep your promises to each other."

And with that, he left me alone again to let his words seek into me as I took another sip of my tea, determination and hope settling over me.

I had to keep my promise to him to find Dustil. That may be the only thing that can save the possibility of Carth and I being together again.

-Carth-

I stepped out of the refresher to find myself face to face with a very angry Mission. She jabbed a finger in my chest. "She thinks you hate her."

I sighed and tried to side-step her, but she blocked my path. "Mission, please just...go away."

She shook her head so hard that one of her head-tails nearly took one of my eyes out. "No! Not until you listen to what I have to say, nerf herder!"

She pushed me into the cockpit and into the pilot's seat. "Mission-" I started.

"Shut up!"

I took the time and looked at her in the face. Her nostrils were flaring in anger and she was clenching and unclenching her fists, as if to try to stop herself from hitting me. She was strong for her small build.

"She thinks you hate her." she repeated. "You should see what she's done to herself because of you!"

My eyes widened. "What has she done?"

Mission crossed her arms over her chest. "What do you care?"

I scowled at her and asked again. "What has she done?"

"Besides the mental beating and scaring she's giving herself over bantha crap that she can't even remember doing, she's given herself quite a few physical scars with a dagger she had hidden under her mattress." her eyes hardened again. "All because she thinks you hate her."

I rubbed my hands over my face and cursed softly. "I don't hate her."

Mission snorted. "Could have fooled the rest of us."

I rested my elbows on my knees, my head still in my hands. "I don't, and not for the lack of trying. And the lectures I've been getting from everyone aboard this ship is making me try to hate her very difficult."

"You shouldn't hate her. Alora doesn't deserve that. Revan might, but not Alora."

"They're the same person." no sooner did the words leave my lips, I wanted to retract them.

The little twi'lek through her arms in the air. "Like hell they are! Revan would have never saved our butts from Taris. Revan wouldn't have taken care of a stowaway child. And Revan sure as hell wouldn't have fallen for a Republic nerf herder like you. If you ask me, she would have that in someone like Canderous. At least he wouldn't have cast her aside because of a dark past like you did."

The thought of Alora being in the arms of that heartless Mandalorian made my skin crawl. The image of her kissing him, the way she had me so many times made my stomach turn.

Mission's voice softened. "You made a promise to her on Manaan. You promised to protect her. From herself and the darkside, and it seems to me," she said. "the only thing that's pushing her down that path..." she paused.

"Is me." I sighed. I snorted a laugh and looked at her with a smile. "How'd you get to be so smart at your age?"

She shrugged. "You don't survive the Lower City of Taris without learning a few tricks."

I stood and hugged her. She seemed a little caught off by my actions, then hugged me back.

After a few moments, I released her. "How am I going to apologize for the things I said?"

She thought for a moment, then a mischevious smile crept on her young face. "I think I have an idea."

I listened intently as she told me her plan.

It was devious, but I felt myself smile. "This could work."