Chapter 12 – I'm A Monster

Hey everyone so this is the last chapter before I go on holiday…..so excited : )

Thanks to everyone that reviewed the last chapter and/or added it to their favorites and/or alerts : )

So nothing left to say enjoy!

'Interesting she seems to have let them back into her life without much of a fight….no matter she soon will see that she cannot be around them….she'll want to protect them the selfless bitch that she is….soon she will be mine once again…..soon I will get to finish what I started…..I cannot wait to taste her creamy flesh….I cannot wait to take her precious innocence… what's left of it.' A figure thought to themselves from the shadows of the woods, they could see the white house….near enough mansion from their place leaning against one of the trees. They could see the vampire's inside…..they could hear them discussing her….they could hear them discussing what she was…..what had happened to her and they wanted to laugh at some of the things they were suggesting.

They let their ears wander and heard her in one of the bathroom….they could hear the shower being turned on and then the small light footsteps stepping under the shower head…their mind pictured her body….they remembered what she looked like but they could just imagine what she was like now…..oh how they could wait to get her back in their clutches.

They wanted to finish what they started all those months ago and they would succeed.

The figure turned around slowly and started walking deeper into the forest, the vampires none the wiser that they had been there.

They would have Isabella Swan again…..they would just have to be patient.

Cullen House

Bella squeezed her eyes shut tightly as she stepped under the shower head….she let the practically scolding water wash over her body, burning it in many places, making her hiss…she deserved this pain…..she deserved to feel this….she couldn't believe what she had nearly done, it didn't matter that the Cullen's had continuously reassured her that it was alright…..it didn't change the fact that it had still happened.

She grabbed the shower gel and a nail brush that was in the corner of the shower in a basket and proceeded to scrub furiously against her skin….she thought if she scrubbed hard enough then the monster underneath her skin would show and she would be able to tear it out of her but a part of her knew what she doing was pointless but she didn't stop.

She didn't stop when her skin started to turn a nasty red color.

She didn't stop as tears made their way to her eyes and a sob escaped from her lips.

She didn't stop when she felt her skin start to burn.

She didn't stop when she saw her blood start to seep through a couple of nasty scrapes that she had made with her furious scrubbing.

She was sure she would have carried on if it weren't for the fact that as soon as she started to draw blood the shower door opened and her wrists were grabbed in a slightly tight cold grip.

The tears that had gathered in Bella's eyes started to fall as she didn't say anything but turned to her right her legs giving out from underneath her along the way making her fall into Alice's arms as the scrubber feel to the shower floor forgotten.

The pixie didn't say anything but slowly lowered them to the shower floor, her arms pulling Bella closer to her body as she did so and placing her shaking brunette in her lap as soon as they met the floor.

The shower was still running soaking through the pixie's clothes and making her hair flatten and fall around her face but she didn't care…..the only thing she cared about now was her crying and bleeding love who had buried her face into Alice's chest.

The psychic vampire didn't know how long they sat there, Bella in Alice's lap as the pixie softly ran her fingertips up and down her love's back, her lips pressing gentle kisses into Bella's wet hair her arms never loosening their hold on the younger girl.

Downstairs

Edward was trying really hard not to look into his sister's mind and hear her thoughts but it was proving very difficult as he saw the sight of his best friend practically crying her heart out in his psychic sister's arms….he knew if he was alive he would have tears sliding down his cheeks from the amount of pain that he could clearly see his best friend was in pain.

Jasper was sending wave after wave of calm and peace at Bella but the brunette's pain was proving too much for even the empath to control and after about half an hour he had to leave the house so he wouldn't lose control of his own emotions.

Rose was cuddled up in Emmett's arms as she tried to ignore the heartbreaking sobs coming from Alice's en suite…..she wasn't angry at Bella and was planning on telling the brunette just that as soon as she could…but right now she didn't plan on leaving her husband's arms…..she would not admit it to anyone but she had been terrified when she saw Emmett nearly dangling above the floor against the wall with Bella only gripping his t-shirt…..she was feeling many other things as well such as astonishment and confusion but fear almost drowned out her other emotions till her fear nearly swallowed her whole and then the helplessness came and one thing Rosalie Hale did not do was feel helpless.

Esme listened to her brunette daughter's cries and wanted nothing more than to go up there and hold her close….she wanted nothing more than to soothe her daughter's pain but knew that Alice could do much more than her just by being in the same room as Bella so she forcibly held herself in her seat.
The children had told her what had happened and her heart went out to Bella….she fussed over Emmett like any mother would do but the main portion of her thoughts had been on the brunette that had captured all their hearts with ease. Her children understood exactly where her thoughts were because theirs were on exactly the same thing. She was now counting down the minutes until Carlisle came home from work.

Emmett was sat with his wife in his tight hold….truth be told his emotions and thoughts were kind of scattered all over the place at the moment…on one hand he was confused at what had taken place one minute he was teasing his siblings and then the next moment he was being pinned against the wall by Bella!

He wouldn't admit it to anyone….not even Rose but he was shaken by the events that had just taken place….he had felt the power….the danger radiating off his little sister in waves….he could still feel the hot breath on his ear as she whispered those parting words to him…..he could still feel the malicious intent that had shook him through to his core as he had gazed into those piercing violet eyes.

Yes it was safe to say he….Emmett Cullen was pretty shaken up….not that he showed it.

"Tell us again what she said to you Emmett." Edward said breaking the silence that had settled over them for over five minutes. The childish vampire took a deep unnecessary breath before letting it out slowly as he started to speak. "She said that her time was up….for now…. and when she was free of the chains that bind her…..when she was free of this disgusting weak girl Isabella…..we will play a game one which we cannot even hope to win….she said she cannot wait to taste all of us…especially Alice…she said the game will begin soon Emmett…..sooner than you all think." Emmett repeated the words Bella had spoken to her before the chocolate eyed Bella came back to them….very confused and not knowing what had just happened.

"What did she mean chains that bind her?" Esme pondered rhetorically but Edward answered nonetheless, "I think it means Bella…..Bella is the chains that bind her…Bella is the one in control for the majority of the time but the thing inside her obviously thinks that soon Bella won't be in control….soon the thing inside her thinks that she will be in control." The bronze haired vampire explained his theory.

"We will have to speak to your father…..see if he can shed any light on this." Esme replied and was met with nods if her children's heads in agreement to her words.

Upstairs

Alice turned off the shower and within a second had a big fluffy white towel wrapped around her still shaking love which nearly swallowed her whole before lifting her into her arms and walking into their bedroom.

She deposited Bella gently onto their king sized bed before flitting to her closet and was back within moments with some sweats and a tank top that Bella had brought over for one of their sleepovers and never taken back and Alice didn't have it in her to throw the disgusting things out because they smelled like how Bella use to smell.

She helped her brunette get dressed seeing as Bella looked nearly catatonic, trying very hard to not let her eyes wander over her love's nude form. As soon as the clothes were on Bella sat back down on the bed and pulled her knees up to her chest letting her head fall onto them as tears continued to slide down her cheeks.

"Oh Bella." Alice murmured as she drew her mate against her and held her tightly. "I'm a monster Ali." Bella sobbed, "No you're not….do not think like that…you are not a monster, I never want to hear you say that again! Or even think that again! Do you hear me? You are not a monster!" Alice stated passionately but saw her brunette's head shake from side to side against her knees.

"Yes I am Ali…I p…..pinned Emmett a…..against the wall…I n…..nearly hurt him…..I nearly k….killed you not too l…..long ago…..and d….don't say I wouldn't h….have cause…..w….we both k…..know that's….w…what would h….have…..happened….how c…..can you say I'm not a m….monster when I d….do these things!...I knew I was d…..different when I escaped…..but…but I didn't k…..know they had t…..turned me into a m….monster." Bella's last words came out as a whisper through her sobs.

Alice let her hand reach up and lightly tug on Bella's hair making her brunette lift her head and look at her and Alice's dead heart broke at the sight of her love's tear streaked face and puffy red eyes. "Isabella Swan you listen and you listen good! You! Are! Not! Monster! You will never be a monster! You are a kind hearted….sweet….funny….selfless….…..clumsy…..blushing…..lovely…..beautiful…..strong and intelligent girl who despite everything she has been through continues to be all those things…..monster doesn't even come close to what you are!" Alice said with so much certainty that it left Bella stunned for a moment before she shook her head.

"You may think that Ali but the evidence of what I have done…..of what I'm feeling proves different…how can a person who wants nothing more than to bite you…..who thinks about drinking from her family…..who has something inside of them clawing to get out…..something they have no control over…..not be a monster?" Bella asked stunning Alice into silence before she answered.

"So that means I'm a monster as well then." The pixie said simply making Bella's eyes widen as she shook her head venomously, "No Alice you could never be a monster." The brunette replied making Alice scoff quietly.

"When we first met I wanted nothing more than to bite you…I thought about drinking from you and on occasion Charlie as well…I have something inside of me clawing to get out….something that is in constant hunger….something that I sometimes have no control over….does that make me a monster as well?…..By your definition it does." The spiky haired vampire said softly and watched as her love's face contorted into one of conflict.

"No because you didn't bite me….you didn't drink from me….you didn't hurt Ch….Ch…..you control yourself to not hurt anyone…you don't drink from humans….you could just never be a monster Ali." Bella with a note of finality in her voice but Alice didn't miss that Bella didn't say Charlie's name and carried onto the next thing she wanted to say or the way her voice trembled slightly as she started to say her father's name but she let it go…..for now . "And neither could you be Bella." The psychic replied making Bella sigh.

"I guess we're gunna have to agree to disagree on this." The brunette said quietly as she leant her head on her pixie's shoulders and closed her eyes, letting out a deep tired sigh in the process.

"I will make you see that you're not a monster Bella and when I do I will be telling you 'I told you so' remember that." Alice said as she gave her love's body a little tug and lowered them onto their backs on their bed with Bella curled up in her pixie's arms.

They lay in silence for what seemed like forever but really it was only five minutes before Bella felt her eyes start to droop….the events of the day catching up with her. She knew she needed to apologize to Emmett and everyone else; she hadn't had the chance before what with running up the stairs and straight into the shower as soon as they had explained what had happened.

She needed to figure out what was happening to her and see if she could prevent these collapses of control from happening.

She still hadn't gotten any of her things from her home but it seemed that it would have to wait as her eyes closed fully and she felt herself relax into her vampire's hold as she drifted off into a sort of peaceful slumber.

Ok so that's the end of the chapter, what did you think?

Leave us a review and let us know.

A little bit of Alice and Bella comforting for ya : )

Now like I have said but I will say it again just to make sure everyone knows, I will not be posting now until either the 3rd or 4th of September as I am going on holiday.

A bit of sun for the writer will do wonders :D I will be planning out the next chapters in my head whilst I'm away so don't threat that I won't be doing anything :P

Coming up in the next few chapters:

Rose and Bella talk

Bella visits Charlie for the first time

Alice and Bella…..progress a little shall we say

And Bella comes face to face with another problem…..could it be a furry one?

You'll have to wait and see :P

Until next time : )