This story is written in the first-person point of view, and sometimes switches between characters by scene or chapter. (Please do not panic; I do not repeat each scene from various points of view.) I do not label my chapters with character names, subsequently, your key is thus: Chapter titles that are short & succinct are Bella's, long witticisms are Esme's; song titles are in quotes, belonging to Edward, and Rose's are questions, finished off with an interrobang (‽).

Chapter Notes:

The most formidable team this side of the pond: cookEgawd, Blackjacklily, MunkeeRajah and Detochkina. Hells yeah. Also a shout-out to KayMarieXW for the ultimate in reader support.

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It's Frustrating When You Know All The Answers But Nobody Bothers To Ask You The Questions

I met them at the front doors of the hospital wing once I got the call from Rosalie saying that they were on their way. As Emmett and Rosalie walked in, I embraced both tightly. I couldn't resist the urge to touch them. I ran my hands up and down their arms after I hugged them both.

"Mother, what are you doing?" asked Rosalie.

"Sorry, I can't help it. I'm checking to make sure you're ok. All pieces accounted for and such."

They both looked at each other, then at me.

"We're in perfect condition, we swear it," Rosalie scoffed at my concern.

"I see that, I just ... I just have to check for myself, sorry," I said, relieved. "It's a maternal thing, I can't help it. Just do me the favor of humoring me. In any case, she's on the seventh floor. From the elevator hang a right, follow the corridor around, and it's the last room on the left ... but she's sleeping now. Peek in on her if you wish but please don't wake her; she just fell asleep about ten minutes ago."

Rosalie kissed me on the cheek, Emmett hugged me again, and they continued into the hospital.

Edward had been standing next to the car, waiting for them to leave before approaching. When he reached me I palmed his cheeks with my hands, and he bent down to accommodate my reach. I kissed his forehead, then I hugged him fervidly.

I'm impressed, I thought.

"With?" He asked.

You've had to fight your innate nature so hard lately, and it hasn't driven you insane. You're still standing. I'm very proud of you. Don't worry though, I smiled, the universe is almost done challenging you.

He looked away from me. "How can you be so certain?"

Call it mother's intuition. It may be sheer willpower. Some things just have to be. The point is just to remind you to find a little more faith, just for a while longer. It will all work out.

"And if it doesn't?" he asked.

Not an option. I smiled a weary, tired smile, but I tried to exude the last vestiges of my confidence along with it.

He stood there, silent, and I could tell he was warring with himself. He didn't have the capacity to realize it at the time, but soon he would start to condemn himself for relishing in the ferocity and savagery he conjured when he killed Victoria. I knew this not because they had told me how things went, but simply because I know our nature, and I know how hard Edward works to subvert and prevail over this part of himself—he has always thought that suppression was key to matching Carlisle's humane constitution. He was still a ways off from understanding that it was Carlisle's absolute acceptance of what we were that enabled him to deny that part of his self so often and so thoroughly. It was a lesson that, for Edward, would be learned slowly, and only when he was ready for it.

In the meantime I suspected that he did not dare imagine the possibility that he may be reunited with Bella soon, because the thought of failing might kill him. I had no doubt that if he did falter in his attempt to win her back it would very likely end with my son dead, and my own heart shattered. I tried not to focus on all that was on the line; instead I poured all my energy into the belief that everything would work out for the best. I grabbed him again and held him tightly.

"Thank you." I breathed. "Now go."

"Heavy In Your Arms"

I tried to return a faint smile. I didn't have to ask her why she was thanking me; it was typical Esme. It was for staying focused long enough to finish the job with Victoria, it was for returning home without injury, and it was for keeping my wits about me long enough to finally understand that my next task was to get off that elevator and do absolutely anything that needed to be done to convince Bella to forgive me and take me back. There was nothing I could do now but face my fate. I walked past Esme and went in.

I stood just to the right of the door to Bella's room off and on for at least three hours. It was tortuous but necessary; I had to acclimate myself to her scent again. I only left as long as needed to avoid the prying eyes and curiosity of the floor staff. Breathing became easier with each inhalation, but just as it made my tolerance better, it made my patience wane that much more. I locked my hands against the moulding around the door to keep myself from walking in, and stood there for at least another thirty minutes. I opened my eyes when I felt Esme's hand on my shoulder.

"You'll be fine. Go see her."

I took one step into the room, and it was the most insane sensation—seeing her, being this close to her—it was not far from how I imagined walking towards the presence of God would be; as if a light filled me that made me myself again. Like I had only existed in part, and I had, at that moment, started to heal into a whole. Seeing her in this state, however, stained my heavenly impression. An oxygen tube fed into her nostrils, braces and casts covered her torso and left limbs. There were cuts, bruises and stitches everywhere. None of it marred her beauty, but it did infuriate me. I tried to ignore the sharp, stabbing guilt that threatened to destroy my confidence. Once I began to take a step forward, I noticed Alice staring at me. She was hanging on to the side of the bed in a most unnatural looking way. I was instantaneously agitated; I wanted this time all to myself. A low growled escaped me.

"Um, I'd leave you two alone, but I, uh, promised."

"Promised what, Alice?"

I was sure my tone prompted a rushed response because she spoke too quickly for human ears. "I promised Bella that I wouldn't leave her until she told me to go."

In contrast, I spoke slowly and with a low pitch. "I am absolutely certain that standing directly outside this door still counts as not leaving."

A whistle came from Alice's direction along with a gesture that told me she would comply with my wishes. Good, she'd noticed my impatience then. I had absolutely no patience for any defiance from her.

"Okay then, I guess I'll be right over—"

Bella began to stir although she did not open her eyes. I cautioned Alice. "Careful, I don't want to wake her yet."

Alice nodded while she continued to disentangle herself from Bella, who had, in the midst of her sleep, thrown both her right arm and leg over Alice. Bella stirred again. Alice had made it to the door and was standing next to me when Bella began to whimper. The volume on the EKG machine was so low it was barely audible, but I did not need it to hear the accelerating throb of her heartbeat. It was the most familiar sound in the world to me, and right now it was also the loudest sound in the room. Alice and I both watched intently, trying to pinpoint what exactly was going on. Bella's breathing quickened, and sweat started to bead on her forehead.

"Alice, could you please go find Carlisle?"

She nodded and left. Bella whimpered louder and began to make more coherent sounds.

"No ... no, no ... no ... please ..." She begged, still in her sleep.

I was hesitant to move forward; an atmosphere of stress and shock weren't exactly the circumstances in which I wanted to reunite with her, but I couldn't stand back and watch her be in such discomfort. I stopped myself when I got close enough to feel overwhelmed by the desire to touch her.

"Please ... help." She gasped.

This was killing me. She must have been having a nightmare, and what could I possibly do to save her from her subconscious?

"Edward?"

I thought she had awakened, but her eyes were still firmly shut. Suddenly, she began to scream at the top of her lungs. The screaming was peppered with breathless pleas for help, for me.

"Edward, please, come back, help me, I need your help, please, please, please ..."

In a fraction of a second I had made my way to the side of her bed, sat on the edge, and had, as carefully as possible, shifted her upper body into my arms. I wrapped myself around her as much as I could and whispered in her ear, "Bella, it's fine, it's fine, I'm here. I have you, I'm here." I kissed her forehead and the side of her face repeatedly.

Carlisle, Alice and a nurse rushed into the room. The nurse made it impossible to explain all I saw to Carlisle as fast as I could, but I still managed to speak quickly. "Sinus tachycardia, diaphoresis, hyperthermic symptoms. It seemed like it was just a nightmare at first, but—"

Alice interrupted. "She told me earlier that she has night terrors a lot."

I shut my eyes momentarily, trying to ignore the guilty thoughts that came pouring in. How else had she suffered? Carlisle looked at Alice, then at the nurse. The nurse looked at me with incredulity. He gave an instruction to the nurse in order to send her away, then walked to the other side of Bella's bed.

He looked down at me. "As gently as you can, wake her."

"Bella?" I whispered. "Bella, it's Edward. I need you to wake up, love. Please, wake up for me." I stroked her cheek.

Her heart rate began to slow, and her eyes drifted open. It took her a minute to orient herself, but once she did she recognized Carlisle, who had moved to stand directly in her line of sight, shining a light onto her eyes. Confusion blossomed all over her face. It took another few seconds for her to realize she was being cradled, but though her eyes tried to look up at me, the neck brace prevented her from adjusting enough to see me. I kept perfectly still.

"Bella, it looks like you may have had a night terror, but I need you to confirm that," asked Carlisle. "Can you tell me if you remember anything?"

"Edward!" Relief flooded her face. She grabbed on to my shirt and tried to bury herself in my chest. I was stunned by her movement; amazed that she would so willingly accept my embrace. Soon I saw that it was too good to be true; she still wasn't completely awake. It was obvious when her awareness finally dawned; she breathed my name again, but this time there were strains of shock and disbelief. She then realized that she could look down, and recognized the hands wrapped around her were mine.

She gasped so loudly she must have inhaled half the air in the room. "Edward?"

Her heart rate skyrocketed—180 beats per minute ... then 220 ... Within another second she fainted. I looked up at Carlisle. "Add situational syncope to the list."

He frowned. "Edward, perhaps a little more time will be necessary before—" Carlisle's pity was palpable.

"Yes, I see. I'll go now."

There was no point in letting him finish; I didn't want to hear him say that I had to leave her side. Her body's reaction to me was already confirming my worst fears, and I didn't need confirmation from my father, it would only make it worse. I was angry, but there was nothing I could do to express my emotions. Just being in the same room with her upset her enough to cause her to hyperventilate and faint, and as much as I wanted to lash out at something, someone, there was no one to blame but myself. A thousand questions rang through my head: Would she ever want to see me? There were so many things I needed to say to her, a hundred more that I needed to convince her of, but how was I supposed to begin when she cannot stand to be near me?

I gently lifted her just enough to get up from underneath her. I never got the chance to follow through on my intention to leave, because just as I laid her back flat against the bed, she began to regain consciousness. I was pulling away from her when she reached up and grabbed my wrist. I was a tad taken aback by the speed with which she caught me. She stared up at me, and all I could do was look longingly back down at her. A million other things went on around us, but our mutual gaze remained unbroken. There was nothing else of importance but the life I held in my embrace. I received vague impressions of activity from around me—Alice left and Carlisle readjusting Bella's oxygen flow. The nurse returning to the room with an IV of saline solution. My attention still had not waned when the nurse addressed Carlisle wearily.

"Dr. Cullen, given all that's going on, should I call her primary?"

"No, thank you, that won't be necessary. She's being transferred into my care as we speak."

"And the visitors, doctor?"

I would like to see that woman try to pull me away from this room.

"They are her family. They can stay."

The nurse nodded and left the room. Bella's heartbeat seemed louder than normal to me, a thunderous thudding, but it was steady, and I was pleased it beat at all. Once Carlisle checked her vitals one last time, he soundlessly disappeared from the room. After that, nothing existed for me but her. Filled with awe, hope, and anxiety, scared to death that at any second she might reject me, but I was certain that what shown on my face most was my desperation. Paralyzed in my fear, time stood still for me, and I remained locked in her, furrowed, disbelieving stare.

What now?