Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they belong to Janet Evanovich. I just like to play with them for a bit.

I'm a Tart lover (Merry Men! Yum!) and this is my contribution to what I'm hoping will become a more popular pairing/s in the Plum universe. I hope you enjoy!

Thank you everyone who reviewed the last chapter – I hope you like this chapter! I'm almost at the end of the fic – there are only a couple more chapters left to write. I'm sorry about the delay with this chapter; unexpected visits from relatives and a burning need to write a PhD proposal have kept me occupied.

Warning: this fic is not Babe or Cupcake.

What Comes Next?

Chapter Twelve

I snuggle into him. Everybody else can go crazy and act weird – I'm very happy right where I am at the moment...If only this was for real.

25th December – Christmas Day

Lester

Jingle Bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way...

I grip the steering wheel tighter, the palms of my hands sweating. I've never been so nervous or so excited in my whole life.

Last night I was sitting on the kitchen bench watching Aunt Skye and Beautiful finish decorating the Christmas cupcakes to take to Christmas lunch. While I was watching Beautiful – it hit me... That I am completely and absolutely in love with Stephanie Plum.

While Steph was washing the icing out of her hair, Aunt Skye cornered me, and handed me a small velvet box. "I think you'll have use of these fairly soon" and then she disappeared into her room. When I opened the box, inside were my parents' wedding rings.

Which sealed what I had already been thinking all evening – that I want to marry Stephanie Plum. For real. And be engaged for real to her as well.

Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh...

I decided last night that I would propose for real to Steph today, after we eat lunch and open the presents.

This morning we had a quiet, but very delicious Christmas Breakfast with just the three of us. I was able to put the fact out of my mind that later today, I'm going to be proposing to Steph... Again. But this time it would be for real.

I look over at Beautiful in the front passenger seat of the car. Neither Steph nor Aunt Skye can really hold a tune, but it is fun having them singing Christmas carols in the car. And it's helping to distract me from what I plan for later in the day, which is only now starting to affect me. Oh boy - everybody is going to be so shocked... Helen may even faint! I'm fairly sure that Beautiful will say yes... But even if she doesn't, at least I would have tried.

Stephanie

"Mum – lunch was fantastic. Where did you get the recipe for the honey-glazed ham?"

Mum smiled at me as I helped her clean up in the kitchen with Valerie.

"Skye gave it to me. That woman is a culinary genius."

I grin back. Oh boy – did I know that! The breakfast Aunt Skye cooked for Lester and I this morning was amazing. I rinse off the last of the dishes and stack them into the dishwasher.

When Lester and I told Mum that we were getting her a dishwasher for Christmas, fully installed before Christmas, she complained that she didn't need one. Since then, Mum has now changed her tune to, how did I live without one. Heh – it certainly makes it easier and quicker when cleaning up after so many people.

Aunt Skye appears in the kitchen doorway, "Are we all done?" Valerie nods and hangs up the dishcloth. "Terrific – it's present opening time then!" I can hear Valerie's girls cheer and race towards the lounge with Grandma Mazur following close behind.

Yay. My favourite part of Christmas. Even more so since I put so much effort into thinking about what to get for everybody this year. Hmm... I wonder what Lester ended up getting me. He took a leaf out of my book and had everything wrapped before arriving home, so I didn't even get to try and find his hiding spot... He wasn't so happy when he caught Aunt Skye and I feeling the gifts through the paper and making guesses as to what everything was though.

Lester

Ok – I'll save proposing to Beautiful until after all the presents have been opened. There's only one more to go now anyway...

Aunt Skye picks up the remaining box from underneath the tree and places it on the floor where Stephand I are sitting. I look up from the box to Aunt Skye who is wearing a cheeky grin, and I know from previous experience that the sparkle in her eyes always means she's up to mischief. Goodness knows what it could be. I just hope it isn't that deck of Tarot cards she keeps on threatening to get me every year. "You both have to open it together." I look around at everybody in the room and they're all watching Steph and I. Even the children are quiet and watching... It's actually quite unnerving and I can't help but shift my weight uncomfortably.

Steph and I undo the ribbon tied around the box together, and lift the lid.

Inside the box is a single cream envelope sitting on top of a leather bound scrapbook album. Steph picks up the envelope, opens it and pulls out what is inside. I watch as Beautiful reads what looks like an invitation. All the colour drains from her face as she looks up at me. "What is it Beautiful?"

She blinks a couple of times, and hands the invitation to me. Oh bugger...

Grandma Mazur pokes me with a candy cane, "Well boy, read it out loud for the rest of us."

I clear my throat.

"You are invited to the wedding of Mr. Lester Santos and Ms. Stephanie Plum on 27th December. Ceremony at 11:30am, St Francis Church, Trenton. Reception directly afterwards at The Ballroom, Trenton. Please RSVP as soon as possible."

Bloody hell...

I catch Beautiful as she falls backwards into a faint, the scrapbook open in her lap. I'm lucky that I'm not fainting as well, especially the way I can barely hear anybody over the sound of my own beating heart and rushing blood. One voice managed to pierce through my silent shock...

Grandma Mazur was leaning over Steph and me. I blink and stare up at Grandma Mazur as she pokes Steph with a candy cane, "I think she really liked the present. Got so excited that she fainted."

Well – I think this is now the wrong time for my proposal. Damn.

Stephanie

I startle awake at a sharp poke in my side. Lester's arms which are wrapped around me loosen, and I turn to see Grandma Mazur slipping a candy cane into her pocket. I look back to Lester.

Ok – I have to just make sure that all of this is real...

"That was an invitation to our wedding." He nods, "Right – and it has been organised for two days time." He nods again. I look down at the scrapbook still in my lap, oh dear god...

I feel the blood rushing to my head. Oh damn. I'm fainting... again.

Lester

I gentle cradle Beautiful as she faints for the second time today. I don't blame her really. Getting an invitation to one's own wedding is a pretty big shock...

Grandma Mazur pokes Steph with the candy cane again, "She's not pregnant is she? The only people who should faint more than once a day is either those dramatic-actor types, or pregnant people." Steph's rouses again and sits up properly this time.

"No Grandma I am not pregnant. Because to be pregnant, I would need to have engaged in sex recently. "

Oh bugger. I don't think Beautiful meant to say that last part out loud. My face blushes red and everybody stares shocked at us.

I watch as Steph's eyes get bigger and she pinches herself. She definitely didn't mean to say that last part out loud.

I think it's time for us to go. Before Grandma Mazur starts to give us sex tips...

"Thank you so much for lunch Helen and Frank. It's been a wonderful Christmas – but I think Steph is still in shock over the generosity of our Christmas present." I haul myself and Beautiful onto our feet. I can see Aunt Skye putting the gifts we all received into a carry bag, and start to say goodbye to everyone.

"I knew I should have gotten Steph that little something from Naughty Pleasures – then she wouldn't have trouble getting Little Lester up." Beautiful is slowly turning from white to red.

Gulp. Yes – it is definitely time to leave...

I interrupt Albert and Valerie whispering to each other, give Valerie a hug and Albert a handshake. The gossip is already starting.

Honestly – anyone who couldn't get hard with my Beautiful in their bed would have to be blind. I have a seriously difficult time covering up how hard I am when we're in bed together...

I say a final goodbye and Merry Christmas to everyone and Beautiful does the same thing, automatically following my lead.

I can't believe they organised a whole bloody wedding... I knew I should have proposed for real to Beautiful earlier.

Stephanie

I inhale deeply once we step out of my parents' house and walk towards Lester's car.

Oh my god.

I can't believe that I said that. Now they're all going to think something is wrong withLester, or me... And I know nothing is wrong with either of us – because despite Lester's best attempts to hide his hard-ons, it isn't always successful. The amount of times I wanted to jump him over the past couple of months ranges to a minimum of four times a day.

The car is silent as Lester us drives us home. I'm happy for the silence because my head is still spinning.

I can't believe that my family and Aunt Skye organised an entire wedding for us. And paid for it. Now I know why everybody has been acting a bit odd over the last week and a half. I look down at the scrapbook I'm still holding and flick absently through the pages – it appears to be a record of all the wedding plans. Dresses, flowers, venues, menus...

Oh my god. A wedding. They think we're really engaged – we're going to have to tell everybody that we're not...

Or go through with the wedding.

But I can't expect Lester to marry me just because it's all organised.

Actually I wouldn't even want him to consider doing that...

I mean – we're only in a pretend engagement to keep Aunt Skye of his back, so of course he wouldn't want to marry me. Even if I do want all of this to be real, it isn't.

And to top it all off – I still can't believe I accidently told my family that I haven't had sex recently.