As capable as our med bay is for emergencies, the Tower isn't equipped with a full surgical team or an OR. Gar has his surgery at Jump General, with Cyborg taking the lead. We wait in the hall outside of the OR instead of the waiting room. No one can know the Titans are here, or that one is currently under anesthesia and vulnerable; very vulnerable. Nightwing has Bumble Bee and Speedy patrolling the city while we wait here.

I try to read a book. I don't know why I'm trying when Starfire's anxiety bounces off the walls and she keeps floating past me, back and forth, back and forth.

"Star," I give up and shut my book. "Gar's fine, Cyborg is with him."

Starfire nods, but continues to pace in the air. I sigh and attempt to read again. Out of the corner of my eye I see Nightwing lean against the wall. He refuses to sit, as if sitting down is what will lead to something catastrophic. I roll my eyes. Men.

"Raven." I glance up. Nightwing's looking at me, "I have a mission for you."

He can't be serious. I throw my book down and half-run to him. "Are Bee and Speedy okay?"

Nightwing nods, "It's about Gar. He'll need protection after this surgery, at least until we get him settled somewhere with a new alias, maybe even after. He's still got lots of enemies, even if he's out of the game now. I need someone with him to keep him safe."

I feel like a child. So I hit him. I'm surprised he doesn't block it, but I'm not prone to hitting people with my fists, so I guess he wasn't expecting it. Luckily it only lands on his chest and not his face, though that is a tempting option.

"Don't give me some petty mission as some sort of out." I glare at him, "If I want out of the game, I'll take myself out, thank you."

Starfire floats over to us, "Why are you hitting Nightwing?"

"Because he's an idiot!" I tell her before I go back over to my seat.

I force my book open and bury myself in it. I try to ignore the fact that Star and Nightwing sit next to me for the remainder of Gar's surgery.

The others take Cyborg home when Gar's in recovery. I'm the only one who stays at the hospital and waits for him to wake up. According to Cyborg, that's what Gar said he wanted before the anesthesia knocked him out. So I wait with my book. It's mid-afternoon when he wakes up, and it's not a pretty awakening.

At first he smiles at me, dazed and sleepy. Slowly he sits up. I give him some water and I update him on what Cyborg told me. No complications, and once his incisions heal, they can start PT. A few moments after he gulps down the water and the news, he starts to puke.

"Gar?" I grab the little pink bin they give you at hospitals and put it in front of him.

He throws up what little water he's had and continues to dry heave for the next couple of minutes. I wonder if I should go get a nurse. He grabs my hand and grips it tight.

Gar picks his head back up and looks at me, "Anesthesia makes me nauseous."

I know that. I was there after his first surgery, when they were making cleaner stumps, he tried puking his guts up then too. This time is worse though, I'll admit. He dry heaves a few more times before I feel okay with taking away the bin. Gar eventually leans back against the bed, wiping his mouth with a tissue. There's still a slight tremor in his body.

"Sorry about that." He apologizes, "I didn't want the others to see."

I nod and come to sit on the side of his bed. "How do you feel?"

"Dizzy, nauseous, afraid to look at my new… Attachments." He tells me honestly.

I squeeze his hand. Still fighting nausea, he closes his eyes and occasionally swallows. He strokes the back of my hand with his thumb. I decide to talk since he obviously can't.

"Dick tried to kick me off the team today." I tell him, thinking he'll find the attempt as ridiculous as I do.

Gar's eyes fly open and he lurches forward, "What?"

The sudden movement isn't a good idea, and he starts to retch again. I grab the bin in time to catch the spit that comes flying from his mouth. I wince from the violent convulsions I accidently put him through.

"I'm sorry." I say as he lays back and holds my hand again. "I probably should have started that better."

"Probably," Gar agrees, and manages to keep his eyes open this time, "So, he tried to kick you off the team? Why?"

"He didn't try to really kick me off the team, but he did try to assign me as some sort of body guard for you, as if I need some sort of excuse to leave the team. It was stupid."

Gar gulps, "Well, you can blame me for that."

"Excuse me?" I drop his hand.

Gar grunts as he tries to sit up, for a moment I worry that he'll dry heave again. He swallows before he looks me dead in the eye.

"We all know you're going to quit the team and that you're going to quit for me. I don't want you to, but I can't stop you, so I figured maybe if Nightwing made it more of an assignment than…"

"A resignation?" I finish for him in anger, "You have no right to meddle in this. I have the right to choose this for myself."

"No one's saying you don't! But Rae, you're a freaking hero, who still has her powers, who's still useful even without them! You shouldn't give that up for a guy who isn't even your boyfriend!" He gets upset again, and he clutches at his stomach.

I dutifully place the bin back in his lap, but he doesn't need it in the end. When his eyes open again, his gaze is softer, sadder.

"I just, I don't want you to lose who you are." He says miserably, "Just because I'm lost doesn't mean you have to be."

I want to tell him that he isn't lost, but that would be a lie. He's lost a lot more than his legs. I shift and lean over him to kiss his forehead. I rest my chin on the top of his head and run my fingers through his hair. His arm curls on my back and I bring my legs onto the bed with me. This is really all I can do, be close to him, and let him be lost for a little while.