Okay, this chapter was just an APRIL FOOLS JOKE so please don't take it seriously. You can even skip it if you want.
Interlude: The Plummer and the Pizza Man
o.O.o
Severus stormed out of the house, leaving even his coat behind.
Where? Where would Potter go?
Hogwarts? There were plenty of rooms there, and even the Room of Requirement would provide Potter with a bed and whatever he needed. But no, somehow it didn't feel alright. He thought harder, listing all the places in his mind: Grimmauld Place, The Burrow, Hogwarts, Privet Drive. Then suddenly, it came to him. A dark park and a short walk all those months ago.
Potter had his own flat now! Smirking, Severus turned on his heels.
A gruesome, twisting feeling in his stomach and a loud bang later he appeared just outside the building. He looked up. The light was still shining in Potter's window.
He ran inside and up the stairs, searching frantically for a door, but the numbers weren't in order. He looked and looked, going higher and higher in the building and then finally, there it was: number 42. The answer to the most important question. Potter was right beyond that door.
He knocked and the door opened, Potter shouting from inside, "Come on, hurry! I can't hold it!"
Severus frowned for a moment, but walked in.
"Oh god, it's leaking, please hurry!"
Severus quickened his steps and rushed to the kitchen. Potter was on his knees, half way under the sink, his arse perking up into the air. A great puddle of water was beneath him.
"Just what on earth had happened here?" Severus asked.
"The plumbing broke, isn't it obvious? We need to plug it."
Severus waved his wand and the pipe stopped dripping water all over Potter. "You're a wizard, Harry! Use your wand, for Merlin's sake!"
Suddenly, Potter lay onto the kitchen floor, his hand fisted around his hard cock. "I intend to." He answered with a lazy smirk, tugging on his dick up and down, while kicking down his pants. He reached to his arse and pushed a finger inside, moaning wantonly. "Something else is needing some plugging if you wouldn't mind."
"Would be my honour." Severus murmured, kneeling down in front of Potter.
Harry hooked his legs over Severus' shoulder, hair dripping wet, cock red, swollen, leaking precome. "Plug ahead," he smirked.
Severus pushed inside with one long stroke, his cock sliding in with ease. But before he could fuck Harry in earnest a voice sounded up behind him.
"Pizza delivery!"
Severus turned towards the heavy Italian accent. Half naked Ettore stood over them, hard cock hanging out of his pants, steaming pizza in his hand.
"I don't have any money," Severus said then looked down on Potter, who shook his head as well.
"Worry not, mio Severus. Then instead of the pizza, you can eat this." He dropped the pizza box on the counter and stood over Potter, facing Severus, who looked up at him. Ettore's cock, long and thick, was held out for him to have a taste.
"Do it," Harry said from below. "Let me see you suck him."
Severus finally closed his lips around the soft, almost purple head. Ettore moaned loudly, gibberish Italian flowing from his lips. Harry started fucking himself, riding Severus' cock up and down, reaching up with a hand, fingers slipping between Ettore's legs, pushing inside.
Ettore moaned, so did Harry and Severus.
o.O.o
Severus woke with a grunt, tasting something fuzzy in his mouth.
"Fucking idiot dreams…" He muttered into his pillow, as he palmed his cock through his pants. "Could have at least lasted longer…"