How To Play And Win
by Grace (purplemud)
Summary: The way to deal with this Lucas thing is through the only way I understand: basketball.
Rating: 4 for language
Pairing: Naley and teensy bit of Brucas/Peyton
Disclaimers: Standard disclaimers apply. I don't own OTH. The world is gray place to live in. No just kiddin'. Sort of. Author's note: Thanks everyone for the wonderful reviews. I really, really appreciate it. I'm sorry about the lack of Naley moments. I gotta admit I'm not good with the romantic stuff. I'll try my best but I'm not promising anything. Anyway, this chapter is really long. I think got carried away but I hope this does not disappoint.

Chapter Twelve: Home Court Advantage

I've driven in circles all afternoon. Tree Hill is small town: drive in a straight line and you'll eventually find yourself at a dead end, gotta turn back around and around again as soon as you hit another dead end. A straight line that's really a circle. I bet even Haley wouldn't even be able to explain that.

So anyway, mom and dad had been calling like crazy. Someone must've told Dan the highlights of today's practice: Your boy Nathan, lest there be any confusion, threw an impressive air ball, could not get enough lift for his jump shots and, you're gonna love this, got demoted in an inter-squad scrimmage from captain to nobody. Guess who got the top spot?

I wouldn't be surprised if this caused another spat between my parents. Dad would be pissed about my lackluster performance. Mom would be pissed about dad being pissed at something so silly. Dad would be pissed at mom for implying that there are other things more important than basketball. And of course, this will all eventually lead to them being pissed at me. It's pretty redundant, actually. And that's just one of the many reasons why I'm not exactly looking forward to coming home.

Usually, back when things were good with Peyton, I'd end up at her place; let her take my mind off things. Not that I've been tempted to. Given the fact that we've barely spoken since the break up, I doubt it'll go over well if I end up by her doorstep explaining that I had an incredibly shitty day and I just want some sort of solace or company or anything that she might want to offer. And besides, I have a feeling that's she's bound to give me another painful monologue on what an incredible jackass I am – so, no thanks.

But this still does not explain why, after a dizzying spin around Tree Hill, I ended up pulling over at the wrong side of the tracks. It's almost like stepping into a different town. Nothing looks and feels familiar. No ridiculously large, perfectly manicured lawns, no flashy cars on the driveway either. In fact, there are more bikes haphazardly left along the grassy lot than cars parked outside. The only thing I recognize is Keith's old beat up truck, parked right in front of me, facing the Rivercourt.

Back to where it all started.

If only Lucas hadn't made that stinkin' shot. I scan the whole court, eyes darting back and forth, trying to take it all in. This is the first time I've come back here since trashing the place up and I have to admit, Lucas managed to salvage the place. Actually, it looks almost the same way it did, before the spray paint and the busted hoops.

And why is it that I am so good at wrecking things and Lucas at fixing them up?

Scowling darkly at the thought, feeling my stomach churn, I turn my attention towards the bleachers half-filled with kids that I didn't even know existed. Kids who probably go to the same school as I do and how sad is that? I sit there, gripping the steering wheel, thinking about this startling realization on how Lucas and my life seemed to have been carefully, elaborately separated. Like our parents actually had a hand at putting up an almost perfect façade: there are two different words – one for each son – there really was no need, no reason at all for us to have gotten to know each other. Except on the court and to play ball.

And well, maybe… my eyes immediately search for her.

I don't know how it's possible and it's probably just my eyes playing tricks on me, but every time I look at her, she always has that soft, glowing… radiance around her, like an aura or halo or something equally kooky sounding – but it's there alright, that light permanently attached to her – and that's how I easily spot her from amongst the river rats that Lucas likes to hang out with.

She's wearing a red sweater and that fuzzy moss-green thing she likes to calls a hat. Brooke would shudder at the mere sight of it but I think the hat makes her look so original. So… Haley.

I drink in the sight of her as she goofs off with the guys, playfully trying to swat the ball away from Lucas, who's expertly spinning it on his index finger. Lucas manages to dodge Haley's hand, but she doesn't look all that impressed and she isn't about to give up that quickly. She none too gently nudges Lucas on the side, rests her chin on his shoulder before attacking him with her fingers. Lucas jerks away from her, laughing loudly as he looses control of the ball.

"Oh you did not just do that!" He chortles, grabbing Haley's hand and pulling her in for a hug.

Something painful clenches and unclenches inside my chest. The all too familiar feelings of resentment washes over me but this time, it's combined with something, I don't know, wistful, maybe?

I briefly wonder what if this had been my world, would I feel just as threatened if Lucas suddenly decides to take over, steal it away from me?

I think I'd probably be even more protective. Probably more selfish. Or maybe that's just who I am. And how do you fight against that? How do you try to change who you are? You just can't.

Or won't. Haley's ever present voice inside my head mumbles gently.

I pause long enough to wince before nodding my head in agreement. "Or won't." I echo back, my voice filling the stillness inside the car.

I take a deep before finally stepping out, slamming the door hard, announcing my presence and predictably enough, all conversation abruptly stops. I can feel everyone staring at me and I stare right back at them, fist tightly clenched.

I don't believe in home court advantage shit. Attitude is everything. Doesn't matter where you are, it's always how you play the game. I don't care if there are 100,000 local fans booing me, calling me names. I take my A-game everywhere I go.

Straightening up, squaring my shoulders, I purposely stride over to Lucas, stopping only to pick up the ball that had rolled away. Without warning, I threw a missile of a chest past at Lucas. He catches the ball with ease. If Lucas is surprised to actually see me here, he doesn't show it. The only greeting I get is a small nod of his head.

"Nathan."

"Lucas," I casually reply back.

The silence stretches for about a second or two before Lucas's friend, Skills or Skids, I think, I'm not sure and I really don't care either, asks: "Is there a problem here?"

I frown a little. Is there? I wouldn't really know, since this is all on Lucas. He's the one who orchestrated this little show. I mean, if he's feeling guilty for being the worst best friend, trying to make amends by asking me to come here just so I can talk to Haley, well, then, I have no problem with that.

Although, Haley might think a little differently. I can feel her eyes on me and I know for a fact that she's scowling up at me. We have a pretty solid agreement that she keeps tutoring me as long as I don't bother Lucas. And well, since technically she's not tutoring me anymore, then I get to this.

Is this bothering Lucas? I hope so.

"No, no problem." I answer, shaking my head, putting up my palms in a friendly gesture.

"What do you want Nathan?" Lucas asks not unkindly, raising his eyebrows at me. "You lost?"

"I'm not lost. I came here for Haley." I finally turn my head to where she's sitting, keeping my eyes on her, addressing only her, because it isn't like I'm asking for Lucas's permission or approval or whatever. "We need to talk."

Haley blinks up at me in surprise, opens her mouth, on the verge of saying something before snapping it shut, her teeth claiming her bottom lips. And as always, I see this all in slow motion. I can't explain it either, but I swear, everything that has got to do with Haley James's mouth, always moves in a damning, slow, sexy pace and Christ, I hope I'm not getting cross-eyed over this.

Swallowing hard, I tear my gaze off her, turning my attention back to Lucas and the rest of his friends who are all looking at each other, different shades surprise filling up their faces. Mouth looks at Chubby Kid, Chubby Kid looks at Skills/Skids and he in turns look at Lucas who glances briefly at Haley and then back to me.

I'm reminded of a tennis game I was once forced to watch. All these heads going back and forth, back and forth, follow the ridiculous little yellow ball, people. It's pretty funny actually and I would've probably appreciated it more if I wasn't feeling so goddamn exposed, waiting for Haley to do something, say anything.

I gotta tell you, I've never been put into this kind of position before. The potential humiliation factor here just shot up to way beyond high. Way beyond acceptable. And if Haley tells me no, go to hell Scott – not that I think she would, but she might – I'm certain I'm never going to live this down.

It's a pretty scary place to be in. Not being in control.

I swallow hard. The suspense is seriously fucking me up, I didn't even hear Haley say 'Okay' or 'Yes' or anything for that matter. The only thing that registers to me is that she had hopped out of her seat and is now awkwardly standing by my side.

"I'll catch up with you guys later." She announces, although I can tell that the message is really meant for Lucas who grimaces at her, looking quite worried. I watch as Haley rolls her eyes, slowly grinning at Lucas before facing me, her face flushed. "Let's take a walk." She tells me and without waiting for any response, she does a half spin and wordlessly sets off.

As soon as Haley's back is turned against us, Lucas is quick to give me a warning glare, one that silently tells me he's not above inflicting any kind of pain if I put just one toe out of the line.

I give him the smallest nod I could muster, jamming my fist inside my pockets, walking away - backwards for a few seconds, keeping my eyes on the bleachers. And when I'm quite certain he isn't going to give any signal to any of his friends to attack and kill, I slowly turn and jog towards Haley.

We walk silently for a long time, with her leading the way. I think I have an idea where we're heading and I don't know if this is all subconscious on her part but it seemed fitting to end up at our place by the docks.

I glance around, realizing that I've never been here at night. Can't really see the river, just a blanket of darkness, broken by little flashes of silver but I can still definitely hear it. I close my eyes for a few seconds, just listening, breathing in deeply. Well, this is definitely more like it. Less hostile territory.

My mind is racing for something to tell her, something to get her to look up at me with those brown eyes of her. Something to fill in the silence that has settled between us. I open my mouth and tell her the next dumbest thing that I could think of: "So I met the new tutor."

It does the trick though as Haley glances at me, arching her eyebrows. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," And then frowning, scratching my eyebrows, I ask: "Did you tell him what time practice ends?" I catch her lips curling up a little. It's enough of an answer.

She so knew I'd freak out finding the new tutor hanging outside the locker room, arms outstretched, grinning like mad Cheshire cat: "Nathan Scott, pleased to meet you, I'm your new tutor." And like a military lieutenant, he had snapped out an outlined schedule complete with target dates and deadlines.

"That was a pretty sneaky thing to do, James." I tell her, wagging a finger in front of her face.

"I thought you'd want to meet him before he starts tutoring you." She answers, innocently shrugging her shoulder and I gotta hand it to Haley, she sure knows how to pick 'em. She had obviously chosen someone she knew I couldn't easily bully. She might not want to tutor me anymore, but she cares enough to make sure that I'm still going to get good grades

"He seems…" Utterly neurotic. Maybe even psychotic. "Okay."

She gives me a quick, lightning fast glance but remained uncharacteristically quiet. Sometimes, I have a strange feeling that she can hear the not-so-nice thoughts inside my head. I give her my most innocent, little boy smile and she lets out a soft snort before shaking her head. "He's really good, Nathan."

I don't doubt it and I seriously don't care either. "That's great, Haley but I don't want him to be my tutor. I want you. I don't want anyone else."

Haley looks quite taken aback, her eyes widening, brown and warm and dark and light all at the same time. I think I might have said that a little too desparately. Backpeddaling a little, I shrug my shoulders, hoping that it looks casual enough. "Look, okay, I was an ass. I'm sorry. I'll fix my schedule. I'll deal with my dad if I have to; just tell me I don't have to switch tutors. I mean, we already have a… rapport, you know?" I grin at her, "And c'mmon, d'you really think Tutor Guy and I would actually get along fine?"

Haley doesn't say anything, just ducks her head and works her jaw, furiously chewing her bottom lips. She spent an entire second looking down at out feet before slowly meeting my eyes, her mouth set in a determined line, her chin looking more stubborn than the last time I remember. "I just don't think that it'll work out, Nathan."

"Why the hell not? It has worked out before, why is it suddenly unworkable?"

"I don't know, Nathan! I don't have all the answers, okay." She declares irritably, walking past me and plopping herself down the wooden bench. She lets out a huge sigh and in a gesture of utter frustration she pulls her hat off, twisting it in her hand.

I watch as fistful of her hair spill over to her shoulders, tumbling down, brown knots loosening, falling invitingly down her chest and her back. I can feel my throat parching up. She looks so goddamn inviting, sitting there, pouting angrily at me. I feel the sudden urge to take one giant big step towards her, reach out and touch her hair.

I bet it would feel as soft as it looks…

I've already taken a step towards her before I even realized it and I had to jerk my body back, lean heavily unto the railings, hoping that the sound of the water would somehow calm me down. Anchor me to my spot, before I do something really stupid. "C'mmon Haley, I swear, I'll do anything you want. Anything. I promise I'll-."

"I don't want you promising anything, Nathan." I hear her mumble and that tone of voice, kind of soft and miserable and lonely snaps something inside me.

"What, why? What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. I didn't," Haley pauses, briefly looks up at me, biting her lips, "It didn't mean anything."

Well, it sounded like she meant something and I'm going to stay here all night, if that's what it'll take until she tells me the truth. I slowly walk over to her, not wanting to startle her or anything before sitting down, my knees grazing hers. She keeps her face averted, focused somewhere past my shoulders. I have to bend a little so I can look closely at her face and that's when I notice it.

I could feel myself frowning at her appearance, not that she looks horrible or anything. In fact, she looks especially nice tonight: her face is brightened by the cold, more rosy; her lips a perfect match to the slight blush of her cheeks. I can smell the vague, soft, sweet, clean scent of her lip gloss and her perfume and her shampoo and she smells wonderful as always. Same refreshing Haley James except for the sad, lost look in her eyes, the downward curve of her lips.

She looks unhappy, that's what she looks like right now. Unbearably unhappy.

"Haley-"

"It's just not going to work out- this whole tutoring thing. We're just obviously never going to get past the fact that you hate my best friend."

I scowl at this. "Well it's not like Lucas is just bursting with love for me."

"Aren't you getting tired of all this? This – this whole…" She runs her hand against her hair, tousling it about. "Sometimes I feel like, I don't know," she shrugs her shoulder dejectedly.

"Alright, you know what, forget about it. Fine. Hand me over like I'm some used piece of… something." I crossed my arms against my chest, sulking at her.

"Don't be so dramatic, Nathan. You almost sound like Lucas."

I give her a dark look, choosing to ignore the fact that she had just said that I sound like Lucas. Clearly, Haley a little too upset to realize what she had just said. I'm not going to fault her for that, so I ask her instead, "How long have you been tutoring me?"

"What?" She scrunches up at her face, completely taken aback by the question.

"How long have you been tutoring me?" She doesn't answer right away and Jesus, I am going to look so lame after I say this, but what the hell, it's not often I get to have an answer to something that she doesn't know. Or pretends to not know. Whatever. "Officially, three weeks, four days and about thirteen hours," her eyes slowly grow impossibly bigger at how accurate that sounds. "That's how long we've known each other."

Haley chuckles a little, surprising me. "Plus the two days you stalked me, trying to get me to tutor you."

"I didn't stalk you, James."

Haley smiles wanly at me. "Really? That's not how I remember it, Scott."

I roll my eyes at her. I might have pulled the injured puppy dog eyes look to guilt talk her into tutoring me, yeah, that I'd admit but there had certainly been no stalking involved. "My point is, there are a lot of things you don't know about me."

Her brown eyes lights up just the tiniest bit, but it's a start. She's clearly finding this amusing, "Well, this I'd like to hear."

"I'm a good listener." I state this matter-of-factly, crossing my arms against my chest, daring her to contradict me. Haley is silent for a few seconds before she bursts out laughing and even if I do enjoy the sound of her laughter, it still isn't my intention. I feel my ego smarting a little. "What?" I ask her, wincing at how sullen I sounded.

"Oh! You were being serious! Sorry." It takes her a whole second to compose herself, her laughter bubbling in the surface but she swallows it down, gives me a serious look before leaning closer, "It's just that, and correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't Whitey always complain about how you never listen to anything that he has to say?"

"First of, don't let Coach hear you calling him 'Whitey'. You're gonna get detention for that. Second, you can tell whoever your source is," Lucas most probably, ass bag just can't keep his mouth shut, "that I do listen. I listen when I want to listen." I pause, staring down at her, "And lastly, I listen to you."

Haley nods her head. "Well, you should, I'm your tutor. I mean, was your tutor."

"It's not just because of that." Quietly, I add: "I remember everything that you say."

Haley blushes and glows, looking a little embarrassed. "You do not!"

"Oh yeah? The other week, you told me that your sister, Vivian, had gotten engaged to Eric, her high school sweetheart and a week after that you said you think it's just sick that she wants her wedding gown to be pink…"

I watch as a shade stronger than scarlet crept up her cheeks. "I hate pink."

"I know, you told me that too. And the last time you tutored me, you told me that a trihedron is a three-dimensional geometric figure formed by the intersection of three planes and-"

"Okay," Haley finally says, her full lips slightly parting in astonishment "that is kind of impressive."

"I'm built to impress." I answer smugly.

"I said kind of. Don't get too excited." The accompanying smile was brief, but warm.

I find myself grinning back at her. My usual charms doesn't always work on her and I think I'm secretly glad that she's not so susceptible to whatever glib line I might have. "See, so how 'bout you tell me what's wrong."

I wince internally as Haley immediately retreats, her hands gripping the edges of the wooden bench a little too tightly. I can see her knuckles slowly turning white. "There's nothing wrong." Haley insists, still not meeting my eyes.

I'm not about to give up that easily. I slowly swallow hard, contemplating on what to say next. Haley has always helped me, I mean, I suppose she doesn't realize it, but the hours I've spent with her as she patiently tried to explain all those stupid equations and stuff, all those times she listened to everything that I had to say – good or bad – those were the only times that I could really forget about how fucked up things really were. I guess, I just want to give her that too. I clear my throat and in a low, gentle voice, devoid of any cockiness or arrogance, I ask her: "Are you sure? You wanna talk about it?"

Haley shakes her head, pursing her lips. "Ugh, no not really."

"Why not? I can be your friend today. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity, James. I won't ask again."

"That sounds really egotistically nice, Nathan, but seriously, I'm fine."

I remember a previous conversation from a thousand memories ago: the party at our beach house, me insisting on driving her home. She was being such a girl that night. Claiming that she can walk home all by herself, like I was going to let her.

Haley must've read something in my eyes because she suddenly tilts her head to the side, trying to hide the slight blush gracing her cheeks. The gesture is becoming familiar to me. "I meant fine as in I'm totally okay. I…"

I keep my eyes locked on her, watch her resolve waver and falter and then: "I had a fight with Lucas," she blurts out and as though after having been able to say it out loud, the floodgates open up. "We're okay now." She quickly adds, "I mean, I think we are. I'm just not used to fighting with him. I just, sometimes I don't know what to do and that has never happened before. With Luke, I always know. Like I always know that I'm his best friend. That I always will be. I don't want that to change but… but what if it can't be helped?"

I open my mouth to say something, angrily snapping it shut when I couldn't think of anything. I bring my hand across my face, briefly closing my eyes.

Of course, it's about Lucas.

I'm such an idiot. I thought it might be about her grades or her parents or one of her crazy siblings and I may not exactly be the expert on those subjects but I figured I wouldn't mind listening to her rant about those things. I wasn't prepared to be the supportive friend in this whole Lucas Debacle of hers, which I have to remind myself that I had started.

Well, good going Scott. You created this mess. Congratu-fuckin'-lations. You've made Haley miserable.

Haley must have misinterpreted my silence. "And I knew you wouldn't want to talk about it, so it's okay, we don't have to."

Panicked that she might leave now, I reach out to briefly take her hands. I'm not good with being tender or gentle or anything really, but I give her hand a small squeeze, pulling her a little closer to me.

"No, no. I told you that I'll listen." Haley looks up at me, liquid brown eyes all sad and surprised and bright and hopeful and scared and nervous and every other emotion that she might be feeling, I could clearly see it. "I'm here, I'll listen." I tell her once more as she pulled her hands away from mine. Grinning slowly at her, I try to lighten up the mood. "Let's just use Chad instead of Lucas." Hey, I'm willing to compromise here.

"Chad?" She asks slowly, as though testing out the name, blinking up at me in an owlishly cute fashion.

I shrug my shoulders. "Yeah, what's wrong with Chad? So you and Chad had a fight, go on."

"Nathan," Haley says in a slightly amused voice, the admonition not as convincing as she probably had planned, especially since she's actually half grinning, half softly laughing.

I throw my hands up in the air and admit defeat. "Alright, fine. So, what'd you guys fought about?"

She pauses, bites her lips and stares at me. I let out a groan and a sigh. I should have known. I remember the conversation I just had with Lucas this afternoon and really, I just feel tons better knowing that the guy could babble things like that to Haley. And there I was, thinking that we had an almost brotherly sort of conversation – well, more like argument, really, but what does Lucas do? He goes running to Haley, tattling it all. Little fucker. "Haley, I was only telling the truth, if that upsets Lucas then that's not my problem anymore."

Haley frowns up at me, her eyebrows coming together in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"The, ugh, conversation Lucas and I had this afternoon after practice," The blank look on Haley's face confirmed it. "That he obviously didn't tell you about."

"You guys talked? What did you talked about?"

I gave her a guilt-ridden smile, wincing a little, knowing just where this particular confession is going to lead. "Take a guess."

"Peyton." Haley finally tells me in a low voice, gently rubbing the bridge of nose.

I feel my own forehead creasing in confusion. "Peyton? Why would think that?"

She gives me a look that I can't quite read. "Why wouldn't I think that? It's the only thing you two have in common aside from basketball."

"You're wrong." I tell her, locking eyes with her. "We didn't talk about Peyton." In fact, now that I'm trying to remember it, the last time I had griped about Lucas stealing Peyton was… well, it had been so long ago, I can't even recall anything. My mind draws a big fat blank.

"Well, whatever," Haley says, looking away. "I'm actually kind of glad you and Lucas are talking." She snorts softly, giving me a look that isn't quite a glare, but isn't affectionate enough either. "There's hope for the two of you yet. You and Lucas probably talked more this week than he and I did and," Haley pauses, swallowing hard, "And I guess that's what upsets me the most. Not you and Lucas being okay... well, sort of okay," she ammends as I gave her a look. "It upsets me that Lucas and I have been friends since forever and suddenly I feel like everything is changing. I feel like we're growing apart. It just scares me." She gives me another glance. "And this whole tutoring-slash-hanging out, calling me, inviting me for a party, taking long walks, it isn't really helping."

"This is the first time we took a long walk together." I remind her. "And Lucas seriously needs to relax. It's not like I'm not trying to steal you away from him or anything…" I stop almost immediately, frowning as I suddenly remember something my grandma used to tell me when I was a kid.

Oh, God, I'm going to be struck dead by a lightning bolt for lying.

"I mean, I... listen, Haley-"

"It's just that he doesn't trust you and I kind of understand why. I mean, you did do all those horrible things to him."

"The hazing?" I asked incredulously, "Haley, everyone went through that. I did too when I first came into the team. We all had our fair share of having our lockers drenched and getting our clothes stolen so we'd have to end up walking around naked inside the locker room." Which was of course, by the way, Tim's bright idea, right about the time Routh came into the team.

Haley makes a face. "Euw. Okay, too much information."

"What I'm trying to say is, Coach knows everything - will eventually know everything - that's happening on the team, whether we like it or not and he isn't the kind of guy who'd let things get out of hand. If he thought that Lucas's hazing was out of line, there'll be punishment. Absolute hell to pay. I would have been yanked out of the team and probably even out of the school. Look, I don't want to sound like I'm making some lame excuse over the way I've treated Lucas. I mean, okay I guess I could've told the guys let up a little and I'm sorry I didn't but like I said, everyone went through that; we didn't just decide to harass Lucas for no reason."

Haley lets out a heavy sigh, as though indicating that this particular topic should have never been opened up in the first place. We'd never see eye to eye when it comes to Lucas and it's just going to strain whatever sort of thing we have right now. "But it does sound like you're making an excuse."

I blink at her, clenching my jaws. I feel a wave of helpless anger hitting me like a hammer blow. I have absolutely nothing to say to that. She's right. And I guess she'll never be able to forget everything that I've done and it sure looks like it isn't likely that she'll ever forgive me either.

"But maybe I do understand why you were such a jerk back then." Haley says in a soft voice, she looks up at me, twisting her mouth a little. Her eyes held a great deal of sympathy, although still shadowed by a hardened resolve holding me accountable for all my actions. "I mean, you're always under a lot pressure from your…" She stops looks up at me, her tone lowering a little, "from everyone. I know that can be real hard. And I don't think that you're a bad guy, Nathan. I mean, I thought you were. Or that you used to be."

I sit up straighter at this. "Oh, so now I'm a what kind of guy?" I raise my eyebrows at her and unfortunately, Haley doesn't answer right away, which of course, does not bode well.

I silently wait for her answer and it kind of struck me as a little odd, if not slightly alarming, how much I care about what she thinks about me. I'm probably not going to like whatever she's going to say, judging by the somewhat tormented expression on her face.

"Yeah." I mumble, answering for her. "Yeah, I guess I'm still that kind of guy who's a total jackass and is eventually going to take advantage of you. I'm sure Lucas had warned you about me." I know I am exactly that kind of guy but I just can't stand the thought of her thinking about me that way.

"You're kind of… okay. Lucas doesn't really see it yet and besides, it's like you go out of your way just to piss him off. You can't really blame him, you know." Haley tells me looking almost apologetic and despite her hopeful, encouraging smile, I must have looked something really unhappy, because she quickly reached out to pat my hand. "But you could be a real, great guy, Nathan, if you want to."

The initial burning disappoint I felt is quickly washed away by the intensity, the honesty of her gaze. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Of course and I mean, look, I haven't actually had to punch you or anything. That should count for something."

I snort out loud, shaking my head. It's surprising, how Haley says it like she believes in it and I honestly feel somewhat better. I mean, I don't know a thing about being a great guy and I know that sounds real awful and I wish I knew how to be the kind of guy that Haley thinks I could be. Kinda of like Lucas, I guess. Although, definitely minus the squinty eyed, emo-brooding attitude and that god-awful hair. And speaking of Lucas. "So, I gotta ask, is that the reason you didn't come to the party? Why you don't want to tutor me anymore? Because of Lucas?"

Haley emphatically shakes her head. "Lucas isn't the type to dictate what I should and shouldn't do. He meddles. A lot. But that's 'cause he cares. And just so you know, Luke doesn't always think or say the worst about you."

For some very strange reason, this makes me feel somewhat guilty. I mean, all these time I've been thinking that Lucas had been doing nothing but sling mud at my name every chance he could get, telling Haley or anyone who'd listen that I'm no good jock-scum, that she might as be well tutoring the devil incarnate - I mean, if I were Lucas and I was being tutored by Haley, I sure as hell would've done everything in my power for her to not tutor me.

I guess I could give Lucas the benefit of the doubt. It wouldn't really hurt and it would definitely lessen the bad blood we've been swimming on practically our whole lives. Plus, Haley and I wouldn't have to argue all that much. And as a little bonus, this would definitely piss my dad off, making peace with his sworn enemy.

At the corner of my eyes, I see Haley quietly watching me. I turn to look at her, "You know, I missed you at the party." And I can honestly say that it took a chink out of my pride to admit that to her but it was well worth it when she smiled at me, her whole face brightening. "The party really sucked."

"That bad huh?"

"And Dan was totally pissed off about the whole drinking thing." She arches her eyebrows in silent question. Wincing a little, I tell her that I kinda had a lot to drink at the party.

"Like how many?" She asks curiously.

"Like a bottle of vodka."

Haley laughs out loud. "You are such a liar."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, maybe a bottle and a half. Possibly two."

She whistles, more amused than impressed. "Drunk as a skunk."

"Pretty much. When I got home, they were getting ready to kill each other and I guess I kind of interrupted their fight, so somehow, they ended up being pissed at me. They're unbelievable." I couldn't help the angry bitter tone seeping in, remembering how the whole fight from that weekend escalated into what seemed to me like the beginning of World War Three.

"Hey, are you okay?" Haley immediately asks, peering at me with worry in her brown eyes

Startled at the quiet concern in her voice, I felt myself reeling a little.

Crap.

I hadn't meant to tell her that. This isn't the kind of conversation I want to have with Haley. It's embarrassing enough that everyone knows how my father likes to control our lives and how my mom and I pretty much let him do what he wants but letting it slip that my parents are three arguments away from divorcing each other is another low.

"I'm fine." I tell her with a shrug, "I should have known better to step in into a middle of a war zone. It gets ugly." I avert my eyes, hoping she'd just drop the subject. This isn't like talking about Peyton, which even though had been personal, was already way over and done with. I can talk about Peyton and our screwy relationship; it doesn't really affect me anymore. Not this though. I don't want to look like the poor, miserable abandoned boy in her eyes. Lucas can play that role to the hilt if he wants to but I just don't that shit.

"Nathan, I didn't know." Haley says, looking somewhat obscurely hurt. Upset even.

I'm actually torn between being slightly happy at her show of concern and feeling guilty and protective at the same time. I never planed on sharing with her this burden. It's not hers to carry around with and knowing her, she'd probably do just that

"It's really okay, Haley. I mean, all things considered, it's not like I got the worst bunch: an overbearing father and an absentee mother. It's not exactly a family tragedy, right?" And besides, I add silent, I've always dealt with it on my own.

I look at her face, the worry so painfully evident in her eyes. It's just strangely comforting knowing that somehow, at least today, I didn't have to go through it all by myself. I lean towards Haley just a bit, moving my hand near hers, a silent invitation, a newfound compulsion on my part, I don't know anymore, but I'm certainly half-waiting, half-hoping that she'd placer her hands on top of mine. I can feel my skin starting to ache a little, anticipating her touch.

I watch wordlessly as Haley scooted closer, her jeans-covered knees grazing mine and I feel a hundred-something watts of electricity arcing right through me.

I look down at her, thinking how I can so easily tuck her underneath my arms and she could lay her head against my chest. God, I want to pull her closer.

It surprises me a little, this almost desperate desire to feel her, to have her so near me.

"I'm so sorry, Nathan."

I shake my head, picking her smaller hand and placing it inside mine. I close my hand around hers, squeezing gently. "Hey, it's okay. Nothing to be sorry about. I'm used to it."

"Well, you really shouldn't be." She tells me in a low voice. "I mean, they're still your parents."

"I can deal with it." I assure her, looking down at our entwined hands. I swallow hard, before looking up, meeting her gaze, "And look, I'm sorry about you and Lucas. I guess I kinda of messed that up too." The surprise registers in her face but before she can say anything I very briefly place my finger against her lips, the gesture too feather-light, too quickl, I think I might have imagined the softness of her lips against my skin. "You said you and Lucas have been friends since the Ice Age, so if it's just because of me, I'm sure you guys would work it out. It's going to be okay."

Haley smiles brightly, brilliantly at me, her brown eyes lighting up. "Well, what do you know Scott, you're not lying. You are a good listener."

I grin at her. "Told you, I'm full of surprises."

"Well, so am I."

"But I already know that."

"Okay." Haley says, taking a deep breath, nodding her head. "Okay, I'll still tutor you." Her smile is nervous, but full of promise and she's giving me that odd, funny look that's been grazing her features more and more often. That funny look makes me a little nervous. It honestly does. I'm not even certain why, I mean, I don't even know what the funny look is for but I do know that it's nothing like the rest of her facial expressions that I have somehow memorized. It's something about the way her eyes crinkle, there's almost that playful, open glint to it. Not to mention that way her lips gently – almost invitingly part. I definitely like that look on her.

"Really?"

"No I just wanted to see that bright, hopeful, happy look on your face."

Her laughter sends a flood of warmth through me. "Very funny."

"No, it suits you."

"I'm not kidding around, Haley."

"Neither am I." And then, echoing Lucas's sentiments, Haley looks up at me and in a kinder voice she says, "Please don't make me regret this, Nathan."

"I won't." I tell her gently, sincerely and I plan on keeping that promise.

-tbc-