Chapter 11: Confession

Edwards' hands gently wrapped themselves around my wrists and pried my clawing fingers away from my face. I kept my head down, the tears of weakness and fear once again falling freely as Charlie's angry shouts permeated through my mind. He was so angry, though I couldn't fathom why, I would think he'd be glad to get rid of me since he hated me so much. Why couldn't he just let me go? He'd never have to see me again.

"Bella?" Edward sighed and reached out a hand, placing his index finger under my chin and applying the smallest amount of pressure. "Look at me, please." I shook my head, a small squeaking sound coming from my throat as I tried to catch my breath. Squeezing my eyes shut as tight as I could for a brief second, I opened them again and let my swollen eyes meet Edwards penetrating gaze.

"I can't…" My words hitched as I hiccuped, causing me to bring a hand to my heart. "I can't do this…anymore."

"Bella you don't ever have to go back there." Edward scooted closer to me on the floor and took both of my hands in his before giving them a soft squeeze of reassurance. I looked unseeingly at our joined hands as he spoke. "Look, a friend of mine has a cabin in the woods just outside of town—" My eyes suddenly shot to his and I inhaled a deep, calming breath.

"A cabin?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "It belonged to the guy's grandfather or something. He said he and his family never really make it out there because his dad is in a wheelchair and the terrain is rough on him. It's perfect. I can take you there…well I think I can anyway, I didn't exactly ask for fucking directions to the place. But you'll be safe there Bella, Your dad won't find you."

I offered a small, sad smile before averting my gaze to the wall just behind him. There was a black and white picture hanging just over his left shoulder, next to the bedroom door that was currently wide open to the darkened hallway. The picture was old, taken years before, and showed a little Edward staring into the lens of the camera with a huge grin on his face and holding up some sort of framed certificate in front of his chest. His pristine looking parents were bent down next to him, tiny Alice and large Emmett at their side. Their faces were all equally happy and full of pride for their son and brother. It was a beautiful picture of the family.

"You're right." I said quietly, looking at the photo across the room. "He won't find me there. Not many people even know the place exists, and Charlie definitely isn't one of the few who do. " I brought my tired gaze back to Edward's, which was now burning intensely with curiosity. He quirked an auburn eyebrow in silent question and I let out a deep sigh before leaning my head back against his bed frame and closing my eyes.

"Remember when we ate lunch together?" I asked him. "I told you how I used to hike in the woods behind the house and that there was this meadow my mom used to take me to when I was little?"

"Yeah I remember. Then you got this freaked out look on your face and quite talking." I nodded, keeping my eyes closed.

"It had been a long time since I had thought about that place, or talked about my mother with someone. I guess it just caught me off guard." I felt Edward's eyes on me, then after a moment there was a slight movement before I felt the side of the bed jostle as Edward mimicked my position and laid his head against the frame.

"Okay, so that still doesn't explain how you know about the cabin. Did you come across it while hiking or something?"

"No." I replied, opening my eyes and turning my head slightly to look at him. "There was a cabin in the meadow she used to take me to. It was so beautiful, I remember thinking that only a fairy godmother or princess could live there." Edwards' lips turned up into a brief smile at my words. "It actually belonged to a family my mother was close with, the Blacks."

Edward's brow furrowed with consideration, and we were silent for a few minutes, staring at each other until he turned away and looked up at the ceiling. I waited for him to say something, knowing there was more I had to tell him now, more he would want to know. I just hoped it would finally help him understand why I had stayed with Charlie all those years.

"So you know the Blacks well?" he asked after a few more moments of contemplative silence. His eyes didn't stray from a small crack directly above his head. "Why didn't you ever ask them for help? How could they not see what he was doing to you?" I swallowed the large lump in my throat and made my voice as steady as I could.

"I used to know them, but I don't now…not anymore."

"What does that mean?" he asked, his tone sounding clipped and slightly annoyed. Whether it was annoyance with me or with the Blacks, I couldn't tell.

"I haven't seen any of them since I was a kid, since before my mother died actually. Jacob Black and I used to play together all the time—his father Billy and my mother were very…close."

Edward ripped his gaze from the pale painted ceiling at my words and stared directly into my eyes. I wondered if he understood the meaning behind what I had just told him, the significance of the secret I had just shared.

"When you say close, you mean...like close?"

I nodded slowly and forced the bitter tasting words from my lips. "Yes. Billy and my mother were having an affair."

His eyes widened in surprise, a flash of something I couldn't quite decipher lighting behind them before dying out. He was silent again for a few moments, then reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a deep blue lighter. I watched as he pulled one of the thin sticks from the box and lit it with the small flame. His lips formed around the small tip and made a slight sucking motion as he pulled in a deep breath of the nicotine. Something warm formed in the pit of my stomach as I watched him exhale the acrid smoke and let out a quiet groan. I turned my face away quickly as I felt myself begin to blush and hoped that Edward wouldn't notice, or take it as embarrassment over my mother's actions if he did.

"So when your mom and Billy brought you two up to that cabin…" he said slowly, breaking the tense quiet that had built between us. "They did it so they could screw didn't they?" I winced at his crude description and then let out a heavy sigh before closing my eyes again for moment. He wasn't wrong after all, but the whole situation was still hard for me to think about. Even after all the time that had passed. Edward must have noticed me flinch at his words because he let out a gust of smoke and immediately began to apologize for what he'd said.

"Shit, sorry. That didn't come out right, I didn't—how did she die, If you don't mind me asking?" I shook my head and waved him off.

"Don't be sorry." I told him with a careful shrug of my shoulders. "I mean you're right...I guess. Jake and I were too young to be left at home so they had to bring us with them. It's funny how we never figured it out actually. I was completely clueless until she told me she was leaving Charlie. She died in a car wreck two weeks later…on her way home from the reservation. It was one of the rare times I wasn't with her." My words hung in the air between us, charging it with some strange unseen burden, and we were quiet for a while until Edwards shifted positions and let out a low groan.

"This is really fucked up Bella." He ran his hands through his untamed hair, his lips holding onto the remaining butt of his cigarette until he had to put it out. "This whole thing. Charlie, your mom…she shouldn't have brought you with her like that." I bit at my lower lip, offered him a small smile and nodded because I fully agreed with him. In truth it was something I still hadn't completely forgiven my mother for after all those years.

"You know..." I said softly, almost a whisper even in the quiet room. "After I found out what was going on, I was so angry with her. I remember yelling horrible things to her face, saying I hated her and never wanted to see her again. It was awful. I just couldn't understand how she could to that to him…to me…to our family."

"Bella, it's perfectly normal to be angry, to hate her for what she did."

"No, it's not." I replied, turning to look at him straight on. "She was my mother Edward, regardless of what she did and the mistakes she made. Besides, that's just it. I didn't hate her, I never hated her. I was just hurt and didn't know what to do with the information she had given me. I was a child."

"Well Charlie is your father, are you telling me that you forgive him for repeatedly beating the shit out of you for no reason? That you don't hate him even just a little for everything he's done, even though he's your father?" I sucked in a deep breath and then let it out in one, shuddering release. My acceptance letter to Amherst flashed through in mind, crumpled and tossed on the floor like a piece of trash.

"No I just—that's different."

"The hell it is. Look Bella, it sucks but from what I can tell you got a dealt a shitty hand of two parents who couldn't give a crap about hurting you."

"It is different!" I insisted, suddenly feeling defensive under Edward's increasingly hard gaze and cold tone. "My mother never meant to hurt me, she loved me! She just didn't love her husband anymore."

"You need to stop defending them," He growled. "Stop seeing yourself as some pathetic piece collateral damage."

"I'm not pathetic." I whispered, my brow furrowing as I gazed down at my hands.

"Then stop acting like you are!" A sharp noise resonated through the air as my hand connected soundly with Edward's cheek, sending a slight stinging sensation through the palm and fingers of my good hand. I pulled it back immediately, my eyes widening in horror as I watched him reach up and rub at the red mark that was already starting to swell. I scooted closer to him across the floor, careful of the still fresh bruises and sore muscles littering my body.

"I—I'm so, so sorry!" Tears pricked at the corners of my sight as I reached out a hand and rested it on him shoulder. "I didn't mean…I'm so sorry Edward! I didn't mean it." He cast a sideways glance in my direction and then shot me what I was quickly coming to recognize as his signature smirk. I briefly wondered if he realized how disarmingly charming and sexy he was when he used that smile, if he often used it to get his way or set people at ease like he was now. He probably did. Lowering his hand from his reddened cheek, he ran it through his strange copper hair again, as if he didn't realize how messy and gorgeous it already was. He probably didn't.

"It's fine Bella." He replied. I cast my gaze down to my trembling fingers. "I sort of deserved it for being as ass. Besides, while it was nice to see you actually defend yourself, you kind of hit like a girl." I let out a relieved breath and laughed softly before glancing back up to his face. The faint outline of my fingers on his cheek caused the small smile to die on my lips instantly.

"You didn't deserve it Edward, no one does." Letting out a shaky breath I shook my head in disbelief.

"Yeah well, what's done is done." He replied. "No blood, no foul alright?" He got to his feet in one easy, fluid motion and looked down at me before extending his arm and offering me his hand. "Come on, let's get some ice for your face. You need to keep the swelling down. And you never ate that sandwich over there on the dresser, so I bet you're probably fucking starving right now." As if my body was somehow taking cues from him, a grumbling noise so loud it was as if some a bear was waking up from hibernation, sounded from my stomach at the mention of food. I blushed with embarrassment as he arched an eyebrow and his lips curved with amusement, though to his credit he didn't laugh. Instead he closed the space between us, wrapping his long fingers around my wrist and carefully guided me to my feet.

I looked up at him from under my lashes, powerfully aware of the of the less than three inch gap that separated us. It was as if the small void between us was alive with crackling electricity, the place where Edward still held my wrist burning as if it were on fire. His usually bright, emerald eyes were dark as they watched me, blazing with intensity as they moved from my eyes down to my lips then back again. We didn't speak, not that I could have if I wanted too. My senses were reeling with his warm scent and overwhelming closeness. The only sound was our shallow breaths as he slowly moved nearer, closing the space between us until there was almost none left. Still watching me with dusky eyes, he opened his mouth slightly as if to say something then promptly pursed his lips as yet another low growl suddenly erupted from my body. My cheeks flamed with color as he stood still for a long moment then took a step back, letting go of my skin and leaving a trail of sparks in his wake.

"Come on," His voice was tight and sounded strained to my ears "Follow me."

He walked out of the room into the darkened hallway without another word. I stared after him blankly, not quite understanding what had just happened, then inhaled a deep breath in an effort to ease the tightness in my chest and shake off the remaining embers left by Edward's touch. I hesitated just another second before following after him, walking slowly down the hall until I saw him waiting for me at the top of the staircase. I paused next to him for second, turning my head to take in my new surroundings. The inside of the house was a lot like Charlie's, the layout nearly identical though this house had more rooms. There was something about the pictures hanging neatly on the clean white walls, conveying years of memories just a few candid shots. There was something about the way the door to what I assumed was Alice's bedroom, since I could see a pile of bright clothes on the floor, hung open just slightly and allowed anyone to see inside her personal space. The two houses were so similar, but this was a home as well, with an actually family inside who loved each other. Charlie's was nothing but a façade, a show put on for the benefit of a town that couldn't care less. There was no love behind the walls of the house next door, not anymore.

"Do you need help?" Edward's quiet voice speared my thoughts and caused the increasingly familiar warmth to grow in the pit of my stomach. I offered him a small smile a shook my head as I took another step toward him.

"No, that's okay. I can do it." He nodded and gestured for me to go in front of him. I could feel his eyes on me as I cautiously made my way down the stairs, gripping the mahogany railing and trying not to remember the identical flight I had fallen down the night before. An image of Charlie's face, twisted with rage, flashed in front of my eyes and I missed the last step before the bottom landing. Edward was quick to catch me, his hard arms wrapping around my waist and pulling me back against himself to steady me. I let out a sharp hiss as intense pain shot through my ribs and lower back where it slammed hard against his stomach. Edward let go of me instantly, but his arms were still close enough to catch me again if I fell.

"Are you alright?" He asked softly from behind me, his lips at my ear. "Shit, I didn't mean to pull so hard. I wasn't thinking, I'm sorry." I blinked away the pinpricks of light that had appeared at the edges of my vision and glanced over my shoulder at him, blushing yet again and unable to look him in the eyes.

"I'm fine. Thank you for catching me."

"Bella…" His tone held an undercurrent of warning as he gazed down at me.

"Really, Edward. It hurt a little, but it's gone now." He looked unsure for a moment, as if he didn't quite believe me, but then sighed and stepped past me before offering up his hand to help me down the last stair. He smirked, his eyes suddenly dancing with mischief, and I smiled wryly at him before placing my hand in his, allowing him to guide down the last step. Strange, his moods were such a rollercoaster it was hard to keep up, but I didn't mind trying as much as I should have.

"Thank you." I told him, my feet firmly on the hardwood floor. "But I think I could have managed."

"Do you?" He asked, his eyebrow arched in question.

I nodded.

"Sciocco Bella." He murmured with a shake of his head, then without another word turned and walked toward the archway that I could see led into the kitchen. I watched his retreating form, all of a sudden feeling very stupid and as if I had failed some sort of test. After another moment of agonizing over what to do, I exhaled a heavy sigh and made my way to the kitchen. It was painted a creamy white like the rest of the house, the pristine walls setting off the dark, cherry wood cabinets in a way Charlie's lifeless blue kitchen didn't. The sizable dining table was set with red porcelain plates, ready at a moments' notice should they need to be used. An intricate floral design decorated the edges, with mustard colored mattes wearing the same pattern underneath to protect the wood. A window with a sheer crème curtain matching the walls, looked out into the backyard which was sparse on greenery but neatly manicured nonetheless.

"Here, for your face."

I turned to see Edward standing at an open stainless steel refrigerator, holding out a blue ice-pack that had little hearts and smiley faces covering every inch of it. I smiled instinctively as I looked at the frosty little square, and then glanced quickly up at Edward before reaching out and carefully taking it in my hand.

"It's Alice's." He explained, turning his attention back to the contents of the fridge as I placed the cold pack against my right cheek. I winced at the immediate contact but after another second it began to relieve some of the throbbing and I sighed with relief. "She used to do gymnastics at our old school in New York. She was pretty good too, captain of the team actually—would come home with sprains and bruises every other day though."

"That makes sense." I told him, thinking of how gracefully Alice moved. "Her being a gymnast I mean. She practically floats when she walks. And thanks for the ice-pack, the cold really helps."

"No problem." He replied, bringing his left arm up and hanging it loosely on the top of the open refrigerator door. "She threw a fucking fit when she found out we were moving, I really thought she was going to have an aneurism. Something about ruining her chances for an athletic scholarship or some shit like that." I stared at the back of his head as his words sank in.

"Oh…she…Alice wanted an athletic scholarship?"

"Yeah, but I don't know why." Edward replied. He reached into the fridge and sniffed at the contents of a ceramic bowl before making a disgusted face and putting it back. "I mean it's not like she needs it. Alice can go to any college she wants and our parents will pay for it."

A wrinkled piece of ivory paper. A purple logo. The promise of a future that seemed out of reach. It was all too much for a teenage girl to bear alone—for me to bear alone—and in that moment I hated how cavalier he sounded about it all. Edward took for granted everything that I wanted and probably wouldn't ever get. He didn't have to worry about his future because he could do whatever he wanted and go wherever his heart desired. I would probably never get out of Forks. What would a runaway without a college degree ever amount to anyway?

"Did you ever think maybe she wanted to earn it?" I asked him, suddenly unable to keep the razor sharp tone from my voice even after all he had done for me. He turned around, his eyes wide and staring as if he thought I was crazy. Maybe I was. "Did you ever think Alice wanted to go to college based on merit and not just because she could afford it?

"Bella what—"

"Maybe she doesn't take what you're parents offer for granted, Edward. Did you ever think of that?"

"I don't know—"

"Why am I even talking to you about this?" I cried, setting the ice-pack on the tiled counter top with a wet slap that lacked any real force. "You don't understand."

"Understand what?" Edward yelled, tossing his hands in the air. "I've done nothing but try to help you Bella! So damn it, why don't you just talk to me." I stared at him, my eyes narrowed as I took in his heaving chest and disheveled hair. I groaned loudly and covered my face with my hands.

"Ugh, I know!" I cried into my palms, then lowered my under my hands under my chin and closed my eyes. "I know, Edward. I'm sorry…I know you're only trying to help me."

"So maybe now it's your turn." He said quietly, his voice not completely losing its harsh edge. "Help me understand what the hell is going on. What's wrong…I mean other than the obvious?" I let out a humorless laugh at his attempt at a joke, then opened my eyes to meet his curious, blazing gaze. For a second I considered telling him about the letter, about getting accepted to Amherst and what Charlie did to make it impossible. The words were on my lips, the tip of my tongue, but as quickly as the impulse came I pushed it down into the deepest recesses of my being. Edward already thought I was weak and in need of saving anyway, and while he may have been right, why add another item to the already long list?

"Bella?" Edward asked, waiting for me to tell him what I should. Waiting for me to ask for his help.

"There's nothing wrong." I told him with a shake of my head. "Nothing other than the obvious anyway. There is so much going on in my head right now, I just lost it for a second. I'm sorry Edward. I shouldn't take anything out on you…I'm calm now…really, I'm okay." Edward stared silently at me, barely blinking, his lips pressed into a thin line and his jaw clenched. He let out a somber laugh, shaking his head and reaching back with his hand to rub the back of his hair. When he finally turned back to the fridge a moment later I had the sudden, sinking feeling that I had just failed another test.

Authors Note: So there it is...Chapter 11...WOW...Told you all I wouldn't stop updating, no matter how long it took. I'm so sorry it took so long though guys, really! On the bright side it wasn't for nothing. I did just graduate from SDSU with all A's in my final semester so I wasn't just sitting at home twiddling my thumbs. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, some serious stuff was revealed huh? It's a little shorter than the others but only by a less than 1,000 words and if I kept the ORIGINAL ending it would have been a cliffy and I think you all would have hated me lol. MUCH THANKS goes out to Blueeyedcherry an Veraleeonwithout whom this woulda been crap lol luv ya girlies!

MUAH!

B.O.R