The next few days went by in a daze. I was an emotional wreck, refused to eat, couldn't sleep. I couldn't even breathe too heavily without choking on the squeeze constricting my chest where my heart had been. People tried to comfort me, pull me out of my shell. They shouldn't have wasted their breath. I couldn't hear anyone anyways, Rick's words echoing in my soul, taunting me day and night. "Merle's his family."

We'd never talked about what we were to each other, not really. But I'd always thought it was more than just sex, more than just a basic need to survive. I needed that man like I needed air, the aching in my chest attesting to that fact. And he'd said he loved me.

No, my mind interrupted. I'd said it to him, and he'd said "me, too." And while it was kind of the same thing in that moment, in the cold light of day when he was gone and I was left behind it wasn't even freaking close. I buried my face in my hands while I sat on a picnic table overlooking the yard as the sun set on the fourth day since he'd been gone. How could I have been so stupid?

Of COURSE it wasn't the same thing! He probably just said that out of desperation, feeling like I'd forced him into it with my confessions of deep feelings and love. God, what an idiot I was. While I was falling in love, he was just looking for an easy lay.

My stomach roiled, and I leaned over the side of the table and vomited up the little bit of oats I'd forced down earlier for dinner. He'd probably only kept our little relationship going out of some obligation since I'd saved his life before. Tears streamed down my face as I knelt in the gravel, losing the rest of my dinner. A small arm came around my shoulders to pull my hair back as my body shook. Wiping the back of my hand over my mouth, I turned with fresh tears to see Maggie pulling me in for a hug. And, for the first time in four days, I let her, leaning back into her embrace and wrapping my arms around her as I turned my face into her neck. And I sobbed.

A week had passed since Maggie had held me and let me cry, brushing my hair and patting my back as it all poured out of me in a rush. We hadn't talked much about it since, but she would squeeze my hand gently when she passed as I ate breakfast or stabbed walkers on the repaired fence line.

I retreated into myself, barely speaking, but after that night with Maggie I'd gotten control over my racing emotions and my rampant heart. If Daryl Dixon didn't want me anymore, I was going to be fine. I had to be. I had to move on.

And then the gates of the prison were opening, and suddenly he was striding through the gates with a man I'd never seen before, shouting and laughing while others went down to scream and protest their return.

"That's his brother Merle," Carol said quietly behind me where I stood near the prison entrance, heart in my throat while my chest squeezed painfully tight.

Words drifted up to us on the breeze, about them returning, them staying, something about what the Governor wanted for peace. As they turned towards us I caught those steely blue eyes staring up at me across the lawn. And when the smile broke across his face, I turned and ran.

"She took it really hard when you left her behind, Daryl. How could you do that to her?" Carol asked accusingly as he hurriedly inhaled a bowl of stew.

"What'dya mean? I'm right here ain't I?" He said harshly, frowning at her from under the fringe of his hair.

She sighed and shook her head. "Rick said you'd decided to stay, that Merle was your family and that you weren't coming back."

Daryl's frown deepened as he shifted uncomfortably. "Ain't never said all that," he mumbled, contemplating his now-empty bowl. "Jus' wanted to stay an' convince him t'come back w'me, is all."

Carol smiled sadly and reached over to squeeze his hand before getting up from the table. "What would you think, if it were reversed?" She asked softly as she turned away.

I finished arranging my clothes and the few books I'd picked up in my new cell, heart pounding out of my chest. I knew he'd go to the one we had shared first, and he'd probably try to find my new one once he realized I'd left. Well, too damn bad. He had his family now. He didn't need me anymore.

I made my way to the common room for dinner a few hours later, immediately tensing from the hostility in the room. Merle was harassing a few of the women, while Glenn and Maggie were fuming over the fact that he was allowed to roam free and join the group, just like that. I carefully kept my eyes trained down as I picked up my plate and made my way to the corner.

I felt rather than saw him enter the room, and the heat of his eyes boring into my face made my cheeks flame. I kept my eyes down as I finished my bowl. "Woah-hoh little brother! Is that the little hell-cat you were in such a rush to get back to?" Merle jeered from the corner, loud enough that I raised my startled gaze to his face.

Daryl didn't even look his way, I could still feel his eyes as they watched me from across the room. "When you get tired of Darylina, little lady, why don't ya come on over an' give big brother Merle a go," he sneered, licking his lips as my cheeks flamed and my eyes narrowed.

"Shut up, Merle," Daryl roared, shoving him hard so he fell back on the concrete.

I felt myself rise up, slamming my fists down hard enough to rattle the table as fury washed over me. "Why, Daryl? What the fuck do you care? You wouldn't give two shits if I climbed on top of him right now!" I screeched, eyes blazing as I finally met his gaze.

Merle chuckled loudly from the floor, mumbling about the "little hell-cat" as I stormed out of the common area, ignoring the wide faces I left in my wake. I could hear his heavy boots closing behind me, and before I knew it I was sprinting towards my new cell, slamming the door behind me right in his face.

He leapt back from the door with a hiss, and I heard him sigh heavily as he leaned against the frame. "Open the door, Lucy," he whispered softly.

I sucked in a shaky breath as I pushed my back against the bars and slid down to the floor. Tears streamed down my face as I buried my head in the crook of my arms resting crossed on my knees.

"Please," a tortured whisper came behind me, and I started to sob.

Suddenly the door was yanked open behind me and I stumbled back into firm arms as he scooped me up and carried me out into the hall and down to the cell we had shared together. I fought him as he shoved me inside and dumped me on the bed before slamming the door shut behind him.

"No, no, no," I sobbed, fists pushing against his chest as he gathered me into his arms and held me tightly to him. "No!" I screamed suddenly as I pushed against him hard as I could, separating us enough to see the panic in his eyes as I wildly looked around the room, at anything but him.

"NO!" I yelled again, pulling my hand back before striking it across his cheek with all I had. "You, LEFT me. You LEFT. You can't come back and scoop me up and pretend like nothing has happened. You LEFT me! You chose! And you left me here—alone!" My voice broke on the last word as I collapsed into a ball on the floor and sobbed.

I heard his feet cross the room and the sound of the door sliding open, and I raised my head to glare at the angel wings gracing his back as he stepped through the door. I sneered, suddenly, desperately wanting to hurt him as much as he hurt me. "Surprise, surprise. There you go again, Daryl Dixon. Leaving me, once again, alone."

His back tensed but his steps didn't hesitate as they strode purposefully away from me, while I curled up into a ball and sobbed.