Really long Chapter. My apologies if it's boring. It's more of a filler chapter but there's more to look forward to soon I promise. Please leave feedback for everything so far.. good or bad :)

Chapter 12

As I lay in bed staring at the ceiling later that night it comes crashing down on me how stupid i'd been. I just keep reliving everything that happened and picturing Imogen's face as she paused by the door before leaving, her expression a mixture of disappointment, sadness and then the pleading look for me to do something to stop her from going. But I didn't. Instead I played 'This' because that's what I had promised my fans. I'd disappointed her not just that once but time and time before that. When I got up to sign autographs and take pictures I should have taken her with me and held her on my arm, proud to show everyone that she was with me. When I went up on stage I should have left her not in the booth but in the crowd, front and centre so I could sing directly to her. The location of our date was never the issue, it was me all along. The problem was i'd been single for too long and I couldn't remember how to share my time between a girl and my fans. And the most annoying part is that we were getting on really well and I actually really liked her and by some miracle I think she liked me too, or at least until I started acting like a jerk! I roll over and punch the pillow next to me trying to release some of the anger at myself, with it only giving a moment of relief I pull it in close and hold it tight instead. Eventually I drift off to sleep swimming in my guilt.

I must of woken up at about 10am. I had that moment of bliss relaxation before the memories of last night dawned down on me. I buried my face in my pillow and let out a loud groan, still in disbelief at what an idiot i'd been. I was very aware of one thing however and that was that I had to make it up to her before our writing session on Tuesday, how though I had no idea.

After another half an hour of feeling sorry for myself I finally drag myself out of bed and head for the gym, shower and then feed myself. I stand at my kitchen bench with just a towel wrapped around my waist, toast in one hand, tea in the other as I try to motivate myself to get changed before Stuart arrives.

Today was going to be the first day in studio for recording album number 4. We were meant to have started it a couple of months ago but I hadn't felt I was ready so I put it off for another quick tour of North America instead. After my 2nd album I started playing bigger venues than I had for the first album. Instead of playing venues that held 2,000 to 5,000 people I was continually playing arenas and venues of 10,000 to 15,000 people and I hated every one of them. Headline shows were different to festivals ect, you see at an arena every single one of the 15,000 people are there for you. Every one of them have a lyric that they can relate to and that means something to them, every one of them want a special moment of my attention and it may sound silly but I feel that arenas loose that personal touch. I try to put on as much as a show as possible but really it's just me and my guitar so I feel I kind of get lost on stage somethings meaning half the people can't even see me in an arena like that. I put a stop to it as soon as I could and went back to playing smaller venues for my 3rd album in early 2016. It's meant i've had to tour a lot slower and revisit places several times to ensure everyone can get tickets but at least I feel as if i'm giving the fans more of what they want. So because of that it's now been nearly 3 years since my last album and the record company are starting to put the pressure on me to get back into the studio. The problem is i'm not ready, I wasn't really ready for the 3rd album and only just managed to pull together enough tracks for me to be proud of. The problem is i'm lacking inspiration, at the start of my career I was so young and every emotion was so fresh. I fell in love, I wrote a song. I felt lust, I wrote a song. Someone pissed me off, I wrote a song. It's all old to me now and I feel as though I'm going in circles, and I suppose I am really, constantly circling the world but not seeing anything, just going from hotel to venue to airport and back again.

I'm snapped back from my daydream by the sound of my buzzer indicating that Stuart has arrived and wants me to let him up into my apartment. Holding the top of my towel to stop it from falling down I run over to the door and buzz him in before running to my room to change. I drop my towel at the door and start rummaging through my draws to find a pair of clean boxers, I realise I really need to do some washing, that's the best thing about being on tour, someone does my washing for me. I find an old pair of boxers that are fraying slightly along the hem but are at least clean. Before I can get both feet into the leg holes of the jeans that i'd worn the day before I hear Stuart impenitently knocking on the door, 'Coming!' I yell. With my jeans still around my knees and struggling to get my right foot to come out the other end I hop and stumble on my way to the door, doing up my fly and button prior to letting Stuart in.

'Jesus kid! put a top on before opening the door next time.'

'Alright, didn't want to keep you waiting, oh and hello to you too.' I answer kind of grumpily, my mood still down, as I walk back to my bedroom to find a top. I return to the kitchen wearing an old latitude festival tee and set to leave with shoes and a hoodie. I find stuart pouring himself a tea, he looks up at me as I approach.

'So Imogen isn't here then? I hear you guys were looking pretty close at "The Bunker" last night?' Stuart says taking a long sip from from his tea.

'Er no.. wait how'd you know I was there, I didn't even tell you i'd asked her out. Did Craig call you or something?' He just gives a knowing look and grins 'Jeez Stuart, I can't do anything without you finding out can I' I grin back at him and he chuckles. 'But seriously! How'd you find out?'

'Twitter of course, #EdsMysteryGirl was the number one trend worldwide at about 10.30 last night, didn't exactly take long to figure out what was going on. There were pictures of the two of you looking pretty close.'

'Really? Yea bet I know who started that too' I sigh, thinking of the two girls showing too much skin and eyeing up Imogen as they left.

'So what happened last night then? I wasn't sure what to believe. Some people were saying that you were a loved a couple and others were saying that you both left alone pretty early?' Stuart asked trying to recall the thousands of tweets he'd seen.

'Oh, well they're both right I supposed, I stuffed up,' I admit shamefully, feeling another wave of guilt and embarrassment wash over me. 'I'll explain everything on the way to the studio ok, you can give me all of your fatherly advice.' I tell him, grabbing my wallet and house keys from the bench. Maybe the studio won't be too back today after all, anything to escape this horrible, overwhelming feeling of regret.