Fairy Godmother Shukaku
Chapter 12: Temari's One True Love
A/N: 'Cause this fic's gone on long enough... It's outlived Twirlygigs, which was supposed to be its sister story. There'll be a short epilogue, too.
By the way, this marks my first multi-chapter ItaTem. It makes me happy to see how far this pairing has come in the fanfiction world since I started this. Even though it's still only a handful of people writing and drawing and chatting, it's still a much larger fanbase than we started out with. And it warms my little heart.
"Got to admit, it was pretty fortuitous that Gaara compiled all these books together in the pantry for us," Kankuro said as he, Temari, and Shikamaru dug through the "library" in search of the key to putting Shikamaru's plan into action.
"Yeah, I never would have guessed that we owned all these," Temari said, blowing the dust off of Practical Demonology.
"I don't understand why you own some of these," Shikamaru muttered, flipping through Dangerous Liaisons: The Political Ramifications of the Use of Otherworldly Weapons.
"It's actually pretty simple, Shika-kun," Temari said. "You see, while most parents were stocking up on 1000 Best Baby Names and Dr. Spock's Guide to Child Care, my mother and father were reading this." She tossed him her book.
Itachi hadn't apologized to anyone since he was twelve years old, and had never apologized sincerely to anyone in his life, and he didn't really know how to go about it.
So he thought he would go with the convention and take Temari some flowers.
You can't buy flowers in the desert, but Itachi didn't know that when he stepped outside to find a florist.
"I'm worried about 'Mari-chan," Shukaku said.
Gaara winced. "What about her?"
"She and Shikamaru haven't been behaving."
"What? They seem to be getting along to me."
"Exactly! They're staying friends... and I won't have the power of friendship destroying my plans. Quickly, Gaara, to the Batcave!"
"You mean the "library", right?" Gaara sighed.
"Yes. Now hurry, slave!"
Gaara growled, but he didn't like to disobey his other persona, because Shukaku had too much control over his brain chemistry and could send him on a really bad trip if provoked, so he stalked over to the pantry and threw open the door.
And received the shock of his life, because Shikamaru and Temari were making out inside.
"HA! I TOLD you so!" Shukaku exclaimed proudly. Gaara felt his heart drop to his feet and sit there, pounding erratically. He wasn't sure why it would do this. After all, Shikamaru and Temari were meant to be together, right?
"You were right, Shukaku-sama," Temari purred demurely, gently pushing Shikamaru's leg off her thigh. Gaara wasn't sure if it was her tone or the fact that she was on the bottom, but he had the sudden and disconcerting impression that this wasn't his sister.
"Thank you so much for making me and Shika-kun so happy!" she continued, jumping up and sweeping Shukaku off Gaara's head like a beloved teddy bear. She spun the sandy raccoon around. "We can never repay you for—," Suddenly, she released him, and the demon flew into a wooden cage that he and Gaara hadn't noticed earlier, being busy processing the emergence of Shikamaru and Temari as a couple.
Shikamaru brought his foot down on the cage door, swinging it into place.
"Gotcha, bitch!" Temari yelled triumphantly as the complicated symbols drawn on the bars began to glow red.
Screaming to beat Shukaku's outraged cries, Gaara sank to his knees, but Shikamaru had anticipated this, and Kankuro was prepared to step forward and support him.
"Will he be ok?" Temari asked, watching anxiously as her youngest brother cried in pain.
"The seal was loose enough... it shouldn't kill him," Shikamaru said, but he sounded uncertain.
Kankuro jiggled his brother's arm. "Hey, Gaara, are you dying?" he asked bluntly.
"N-no,"
"He's fine," Kankuro reported.
"What did you do to me?" Gaara whimpered.
"We removed Shukaku, dear," Temari said gently, kneeling next to her brothers. "You're free."
"...free?"
"Yeah, free. You can do anything you–,"
Gaara's head flopped onto his shoulder.
"-want to... like sleep," Kankuro finished wryly.
"See, a nap and a cookie when he wakes up, and he'll be like a normal boy," Temari whispered, stroking Gaara's hair. She and Kankuro had just finished tucking him into his bed, which they had always known would come in handy someday. It looked like he was going to be out cold for a long time. "And everything pretty much worked out for the best."
"Yeah... and you can get back together with your boy-toy now that he's not after Gaara, right?"
Temari began staring off into space. Her fists clenched the blanket underneath them. "It's a lot more complicated than that, Kankuro."
"What? Is he bad in bed or something?"
"Is that all you think about?" Temari snapped back irritably.
"Well, I mean, what gives? He can't have any interest in Gaara without Shukaku there, and isn't that why you broke up?"
"It's the idea that he would hurt Gaara (or you, for that matter) if he had to. It's that he expects me to side with him over you two. That his interests are more important than mine. I can't be with someone who doesn't respect you two, even if just because I love you." She gulped as if clearing a lump out of her throat and bent to kiss Gaara softly on the forehead. "I'll never abandon you. No matter what."
"Whatever. Plenty more fish in the sea, right?" Kankuro shrugged.
Shikamaru was leaning his back against the desk that didn't quite fit in the pantry. He was supposed to be watching the cage containing Shukaku, but in reality he was simply staring at the ceiling and tuning out Shukaku's requests, pleas, demands, and threats for freedom.
An odd thumping noise made it past his peripheral. He blinked, kicked at Shukaku's cage idly, and told him to behave.
The thumping came again. Shikamaru kicked. "Hey, I told you, shut up."
"HEY! Stop kicking me, you moron!" Shukaku growled. "Why don't you go answer the door like a good boy?"
Shikamaru groaned and kicked open the pantry door as much as he could without shifting his position. "TEMARI! KANKURO! Someone's at the door!" he yelled. "And while you're at it, why don't one of you come down here and watch this damn sand pile for me? I've got to take a leak like nobody's business."
Kankuro showed up a second later. "Geez, don't need to yell," he muttered, picking up a book and sitting down on the desk to read during his turn sitting Shukaku.
"Yeah, yeah," Shikamaru muttered, dashing out the door and to the nearest toilet.
Itachi had given up on finding flowers after several unsuccessful attempts to either find a florist, or explain what one was to the locals whom he was asking for directions. He was impatient to talk to Temari, and also felt that he probably wouldn't find exactly what he was looking for. So he sat down for a moment and considered what it was about flowers that made them such desirable gifts in order to find a better substitute.
When Temari opened the door, she had a box of tea bags shoved under her nose.
"What the hell?" she muttered, recoiling slightly before looking up at the visitor. "Oh... it's you."
Itachi ignored the kunai that materialized in her hand and continued to hold the tea out with both hands, as if it were an offering. "Temari, I–,"
"These aren't the droids you're fucking looking for, so move along," Temari snapped. She wanted to slam the door shut, but she thought it would be safest to keep this criminal in her sights. "And tell your little friends that—,"
Itachi reached out a hand and clamped it over her mouth, not wincing as she brought the blade in her hand against his wrist. She hadn't been joking, he realized as the blood flowed down his sleeve; she wasn't going to show him any mercy. "Look, could you just assume for one moment that I came here to apologize, not to kill you or anyone you care about?"
Temari spat at him after he withdrew his hand. "Yeah, because you're so fucking trustworthy."
"You don't have to accept my apology. You don't even have to drink the tea. I just want you to know that I'm sorry. You're right; your brothers are more important than me. I've told my superiors that the ichibi isn't in Suna, and I'm leaving town tomorrow. I'll make sure we never bother your family again."
Temari still wasn't taking the tea that he was still holding out with his good hand, rather foolishly exposing it to her kunai. It wasn't unexpected. Itachi knew already that she wasn't going to forgive him. But he wouldn't leave her worrying for her little brother. From the Akatsuki, at least, Gaara was safe.
Cautiously, he lowered the tea box and placed it on the doorstep.
"You... you really told them that? You lied to them... for us?" Temari asked.
Itachi nodded and took a step backward. This was it... "Good bye."
It was difficult for him to step away, and he knew that it would be even harder to turn around and let her out of his sight. He wished she would close the door and make things easier, but she didn't. She bent down and picked up the tea box. "That's really sticking your neck out."
Itachi shrugged. "Well, if you care about them enough to threaten an S-rank criminal, I should care enough about them to do this."
With a clatter, the bloody kunai dropped against the step and rolled into the street. She tore open the tea box and sniffed it. "This is my favorite kind."
"Yeah, I know," Itachi said, taking another step back.
Temari suddenly seemed to notice that he was retreating. Or maybe she just suddenly cared. "Are you really leaving?"
"Unless you want me to stay," Itachi shrugged again.
"Then get back here," Temari ordered. Itachi couldn't believe it. It wasn't possible that she had forgiven him. It just wasn't. His hesitation must have shown, because Temari curled a finger at him, beckoning him closer. "I've got something for you, too."
Ten minutes later, Itachi was standing in the kitchen with Shikamaru and Kankuro, watching Temari make tea. He was also had his hands full with a mid-sized cage that contained the angry and powerless Shukaku.
"This... wasn't exactly the present I was hoping for..." he whispered to himself, peering through the bars at the little sand animal inside. Shukaku tried to scratch out his eyes.
Temari thumped the top of the cage. "Be a good kitty," she ordered.
"I am not a kitty," Shukaku muttered angrily. "And this guy is going to drop me. I'm very concerned."
"Itachi is not going to drop you," Temari said gently, "He's very strong, and if you don't bite him, I'm sure that he'll take good care of you."
"Yeah, until he faints," Shukaku said. "I see him bleeding."
"Bleeding?" Temari asked, taking the cage from Itachi and setting it down on the stove. "Are you bleeding?"
Itachi was about to shake his head, when he remembered the hideous pain in his wrist and raised his arm to examine it. Blood dripped out of his already-saturated sleeve as stared at it. "Oh, yeah, I guess I am... I forgot."
"Forgot?" Kankuro and Shikamaru whispered in horror, watching a small red trail follow Itachi as Temari pulled him to the bathroom.
"So, are you going to take Shukaku back to your little friends?" Temari asked
"Quit calling them that,"
"What? They're your friends, right? They're friendly enough on the phone."
"...yeah, but..." Temari winked at him, but Itachi was focused on the bandage around his wrist. He didn't want to admit that he was shorter than a lot of the other Akatsuki. Not to someone who referred to them as his "little friends". "This is too tight."
"No it's not, not if you want the bleeding to stop. Anyway, are you taking the sand bag home with you or not?"
"Yes. I want to use him to negotiate my retirement."
"You don't get benefits with your evil organization? No pension?"
"Don't be silly... With one of the demons I've fulfilled my obligation to them, and I can spend more time... places I want to be."
"Well, when you're off exploring the world, taking long walks on tropical beaches at sunset, all that, I hope you have time to stop by and visit us. And by us I mean me. And by visit, I mean,"
Itachi's good hand pressed against her mouth. "What did you think I meant by places I want to be?"
It was Temari's turn to watch Shukaku, and he was getting very sick of her continuous dreamy sighing.
"I suddenly see why you were so against falling in love."
"This is nothing compared to what I'd be doing if I were the subservient little girlfriend you were trying to turn me into with Shikamaru," she smiled back. "So shut up and deal with it."
"What does this red-eyed freak have that Shikamaru doesn't?"
"Red eyes," Temari said.
"No, seriously."
"Shukaku-sama, you shouldn't be so angry... I mean, you set out to help me find my one true love or something cheesy like that,"
"I wanted you to be happy."
"And I am, and it's all because of you," she explained. "If you hadn't brought Shikamaru here, I never would have gone to Starbucks, and I never would have met Itachi. And if we didn't have you, Itachi would never be able to leave the Akatsuki, so I would never be able to see him again. It's really quite amazing how everything worked out." Temari kissed the top of the cage. "You're a very lovely fairy godmother."
Shukaku scuffed at the floor of his cage with a paw. "Aw, shucks, Temari. It was nothing, really."