First off, I wanted to say thanks for all of you leaving such wonderful reviews and making this story break the 100 review mark. This has become one of my biggest projects yet and it has been fun. Just as a note, I want to tell y'all that as I was working on this chapter I read through all my past story notes I had written, and, just saying, Jim and Spock were acting like bunnies towards the end! Seriously!
Also, I was just wondering something. Humans have red blood and turn green when they feel sick. Vulcan's have green blood. Do they turn red?
Anyways, sorry for the wait. It couldn't be helped this time, especially since it was almost longer. Let's just say when your very Christian mom finds something like this written out it is not pleasant. Thankfully, I got the pages back, even if they had to be taped. So now I present to you the chapter that almost wasn't.
This is War.
Chapter Eleven: The Beating of Our Hearts.
Jim jerked awake as his bed quaked. When he opened his eyes, he saw he was alone, but the spot beside him was still warm from where Spock had slept.
He sat up and, as he put his feet on the floor, he heard gagging from the bathroom.
"Spock?" he called as he padded down the hall. He was answered by a groan. He pushed the door to the bathroom open.
Spock slumped against the wall beside the toilet. He was still completely naked, his skin pallid and damp from sweat. He reached a shaking hand up and flushed.
Jim opened the cabinet under the sink and took out a washcloth. He turned the faucet on and dampened it, all the while feeling Spock's eyes on him. He turned and knelt next to the Vulcan. He gently held his jaw and wiped the sweat and other fluids from his face.
"I told you that you'd hate yourself," Jim whispered. "Is this like a human's hangover from alcohol?"
"Yes," Spock rasped. "They are very similar."
"Alright," Jim nodded. "Do you think you're going to be sick again soon?"
"I do not believe so," Spock answered.
Jim nodded. "I'm going to take you to the couch, okay?"
Spock nodded and Jim wrapped his arms around his shoulders and under his knees. He carefully lifted him off the floor and slowly took him to the main room before settling him on the couch. Jim sat down beside him.
"Headache and nausea? Anything else?" he asked.
Spock shook his head.
"I'll be right back," Jim told him as he stood. He walked out of the room and back to his bedroom. He pulled the comforter and pillow from the bad and went back.
"The best way to deal with a hangover is to just try to sleep it off," he said as he handed Spock the pillow and covered him. "Two more things," he said as he headed into the kitchen. He soon came back. In his hands were an old coffee can and a glass of water.
"If you start to feel sick again grab the can and tell me" Jim said as he set it down next to the couch. "Drink this slowly."
Spock complied when Jim handed him the water. The couch shifted as Jim moved from his side to his foot. He pulled the Vulcan's feet into his lap. Spock took another sip as Jim wrapped a hand around one, making Spock jerk and nearly spill the water.
"What were you doing?" Spock asked, eyes wide.
Jim cocked his head to the side. "I was going to give you a massage. Why? What's wrong?"
"A Vulcan's feet are very sensitive," Spock informed him. "Though not nearly as sensitive as our hands."
"Oh," Jim blinked. "Sorry." He lay both his hands on Spock's calves.
"You were ignorant of this fact," Spock replied as he carefully placed the glass on the floor beside the can. "There is no reason to apologize." He leaned back against the couch, eyes closed.
"Your head still hurt?" Jim asked. Spock nodded in answer. "If you lay your head on my lap I'll give you a massage. And," he grinned, "I'll promise to stay away from your hands and feet for now."
Spock gingerly turned and rested his head in Jim's lap.
Jim smiled as he looked down at his poor half-Vulcan. He could see his pale profile. Jim traced the edge of a pointed ear, making Spock shiver. He cupped a hand around the back of Spock's neck and began to rub away tension. He slowly moved his hand up to his scalp and added his other hand.
He felt Spock sigh and begin to relax under his hands. The apartment was silent until a low rumble began to emanate from deep within Spock's chest. Jim blinked.
"Spock…are you purring?"
The rumble paused. "Vulcans are distantly related to terran felines as humans are related to simians."
A smile spread across Jim's face. "Don't stop on my account."
As Jim continued to knead the Vulcan's skin and muscle the purring quietly began again. It was not long before he felt Spock drop off into sleep. Jim let his hand settle on Spock's bare shoulder and tilted his head back and dozed off.
Awareness came to Spock slowly. He blinked his eyes open, feeling rested and much better than the last time he had been conscious. The room was still dim, even though it was the afternoon.
His cheek that was resting on Jim's lap was warm. Very warm. And there was a firm bulge beneath it. Spock tilted his head to the side and glanced up at his bondmate.
Jim's head was tilted back on the couch. His lips was slightly parted with the corners wet. His breathing was deep and slow from sleep.
Spock touched one of his fingertips to the bare skin of Jim's hand on his shoulder. Images and sounds of dreams flashed across his mind. The most striking of which was Jim sucking on his neck as he reached down to Spock's penis. Spock quickly removed his finger from Jim.
Jim… Spock closed his eyes in guilt. Jim obviously felt attraction for him. Yet he was controlling himself for Spock's peace of mind. Jim was a good man. And Spock was giving him what many humans would call a very large case of blue balls.
Spock realized a way to rectify this matter when he turned his head back and once again felt the burning warmth. He slowly sat up and slid to the floor.
He carefully undid Jim's zipper, striving not to wake the human. He dipped his hand beneath his boxer briefs and slowly pulled out Jim's cock. His hands trembled as he stared at the erect flesh. It had been ten years since he had done this act. Spock felt he was out of practice.
He leaned forward, tentatively licking the tip. The taste was foreign, but not unpleasant. He took a deep breath and slid his mouth down the shaft, massaging it with his tongue as he went.
Jim moaned slightly above him, still fast asleep.
Spock drew back and quickly slid down again, eliciting a small gasp. He realized Jim was quite vocal with his pleasure. He drew back once more and relaxed his throat before taking in Jim's cock all the way to the base.
Jim jerked awake with a loud gasp. His hands shot to Spock's shoulders and gripped them before relaxing and pushing Spock away.
"Spock, what are you doing?"
"Jim," Spock whispered. "You are my bondmate. I want to please you."
"I've already told you," Jim replied, still holding Spock at arm's length. "You don't owe me anything."
"I know," Spock nodded. "I want to."
Jim remained still for several minutes, staring into his mate's eyes, trying to find the truth. Finally, he spoke. "I want to do this right."
"It is," was all Spock said.
"Then come here," Jim told him. Almost instantly, Spock stood and Jim pulled him onto his lap, his slick cock tapping against Spock's bare thigh. Spock's own shaft began to show interest in their activities.
Jim's hand clasped on the back of his neck and pulled their lips together. Spock kissed him back just as hard, tongue twining with Jim's. Jim broke the kiss, panting for breath. He leant his head forward on Spock's shoulder.
"Are you sure about this?" he asked. "I can't promise I'll be able to stop for much longer."
Spock merely kissed him from the corner of his jaw down to lips. He pulled back slightly and whispered, "Please," before kissing Jim's lips once more.
Jim wrapped an arm around Spock's waist and pulled him tight against him. He pressed their lips together harder, plundering his bondmate's mouth. Their erections ground together, making them both groan. Jim pulled back and rubbed his stubbled cheeks against Spock's neck.
"Do me a favor," Jim spoke into Spock's shoulder. "Take the blanket and get in our bed. I'll be right behind you."
Spock's heart warmed when Jim designated the bed as theirs. He nodded and climbed gracefully off of Jim's lap before taking the blanket and pillow into his arms and leaving the room. Jim's eyes followed him until he disappeared. He stood and slipped himself back into his jeans before doing the button. He walked over to the wall and turned up the thermostat, smiling. He had to take care of his Spock.
He walked to the door of his bedroom. He stood in the doorway, gazing lovingly at the sight before him, so reminiscent of the night before. But this time it was right.
Jim walked the rest of the way to the bed. He sat on the edge and slipped off both his pants and boxer briefs before opening the drawer beside the bed. He took out a condom and lube and set them on top of the nightstand. Finally, he slipped under the comforter with his bondmate.
They lay on their sides facing each other, unsure of how to start now that they were there. Jim tentatively put his hand on Spock's hip and, when Spock didn't object, cupped his jaw with the other before giving him a soft, sweet kiss. He drew back with a lazy smile before returning to ravish the Vulcan.
Spock had been worried that Jim would be like Stonn when they touched each other like this: harsh and cruel. But Jim was anything but those characteristics. He was both gentle and firm as he kissed from Spock's elbow to his sensitive finger tips. For the first time, and Spock's eyes nearly pricked with tears at the thought, he felt loved. Jim Kirk truly was an amazing lover.
Jim rolled them over, himself on top, but braced most of his weight on one arm and his legs, trying not to crush his lover. His other hand explored Spock's body before resting on his hip. He slowly released Spock's lips.
"Spock, is everything okay?" he asked, concerned.
"I am well,' Spock answered truthfully.
"That's not quite what I meant," Jim shook his head. "Why… Well, why aren't you moving?"
Spock blinked. "I am submissive. You know this."
"Oh, Spock,' Jim leaned down and kissed him softly. "Submissive doesn't mean passive."
Spock blinked up at his soon-to-be-lover. "What should I do?"
Jim brushed a lock of hair from Spock's face. "Whatever feels right."
Jim waited, merely stroking the side of Spock's face. Spock raised his hands from his sides and slid them over Jim's hard chest. He rested them on his shoulders and pulled the other man down into a kiss.
Jim rolled them back onto their sides, a hand trailing down to his waist. His other hand held the back of Spock's neck. He pulled him flush against his warmer body and deepened the kiss. Spock let his hands explore Jim's body. Jim released his mouth and kissed down his jaw, teeth scraping his sensitive skin.
"Jim," Spock gasped. "I need you."
Jim drew back slightly. "Patience, love," he spoke into Spock's skin. "We have the rest of our lives."
He tenderly kissed Spock's neck before shifting to be level with his chest. "Plus, I plan on driving you mad tonight," he licked a green tinged nipple, "and every night for a very, very long time."
With those words said, Jim brought his mouth back to the one hardening nipple and sucked, causing Spock to see black spots as he writhed beneath his bondmate.
"I think I like that reaction."
Spock opened his eyes, gasping. He hadn't even realized he'd shut them. Jim gazed down at him, grinning.
"I might get a complex, though," Jim said, a fingertip brushing Spock's neglected nub. "You'll make me think I'm magic in bed."
"You are," Spock rasped, making Jim laugh. He stretched up and captured Spock's lips with a quick kiss. "If you do not hasten soon, I will ejaculate before penetration."
"Well, we can't have that," Jim said with a wicked gleam in his eyes. He ducked back down, closing his lips over Spock's cock and sucked. Spock's eyes rolled back in his head as his climax rushed through him.
He slowly came back, gasping. "Why?"
Jim tilted his head; his lips covering his bondmate's. "I can wait as long as I need to."
Spock swallowed, almost overcome by emotion. He cleared his throat. "You will not have a long wait. Vulcan's have a short refractory period."
Jim's head perked up. "Seriously?" Spock nodded. "Oh, dear God!"
They waited, simply touching each other till Spock nodded, telling him he was ready. Jim turned half-way and brought back the condom and lube.
He tore the wrapper open and rolled the condom on before he popped the cap on the bottle open and poured the gel into his hand. He slicked it over his hands and turned to Spock. As he kissed Spock his fingers probed Spock's entrance.
He dipped one finger in and began curling it, stretching Spock's muscles. When he felt loose enough, Jim added a second, then third, finger. As he was about to add a fourth finger, Spock grabbed his wrist.
"Please," Spock pleaded. He ground back against Jim's hand, his dick bouncing against his stomach.
"Okay," Jim agreed huskily and removed his hand. He slicked more gel over the condom before lining up at Spock's entrance.
Jim met Spock's eyes as he slowly pushed forward, gauging the Vulcan's reactions. Once fully seated, Jim paused.
"You okay?" he rasped.
Spock, not trusting his voice, only nodded.
Jim withdrew almost all the way before pushing back in. He tried different angles, searching for one spot. As Spock gasped and clung to him, Jim grinned, knowing he'd found it. He targeted that spot repeatedly. He could feel himself drawing closer to release.
"Jim," Spock moaned. "I-I'm co—"
"I know, love," Jim gasped. He wrapped his hand around Spock's cock. "Come with me."
Spock moaned as Jim jerked his hand in time with his thrusts. Only a few seconds later they both came in a rush.
Jim held Spock in his arms as they both recovered from what was most likely the most powerful orgasm either of them had ever had.
Spock got his breath back first. He gazed at Jim, amazed. Jim's cheeks flushed (from more than just physical exertion). "What?"
"That is the most I have ever enjoyed coitus," Spock said bluntly.
"That's what happens when both partners are involved," Jim told him, a thumb stroking Spock's hip. "Now, hold still."
Spock nodded and Jim carefully removed himself. He slipped the condom off and tied it before throwing it in the waste bin beside the desk.
"Do you want to lay here for a bit before we get cleaned up?" Jim asked.
"That would be acceptable," Spock agreed and lay across Jim's chest, toying with the blond hair that grew on his lover's arms.
"That tickles," Jim said, shifting under him. Spock stopped stroking and closed his eyes, content.
"I love you."
Spock shifted so that he could see Jim's face. "Are you…?"
"Being serious?" Jim asked. "Yes."
"How do you know?" Spock asked.
Jim brushed his finger across Spock's cheekbone. "I realized when Bones told me you were dying. I know we didn't, and still don't, know each other well, but it was like…destiny."
Spock stared at him. He could feel Jim's sincerity through both their physical contact and their bond, but…
"How can I convince you?" Jim asked. "A meld?"
"How…?" Spock started, surprised he knew of that particular aspect of Vulcan telepathy. Then he remembered his counterpart.
"Selek," Jim supplied anyway. "We had no time for him to fully explain the situation without it on Delta Vega."
"I apologize for marooning you on the planet," Spock said, feeling pricks of guilt.
Jim shrugged. "It worked out in the end. Besides, I was a dick when I got back."
Spock shook his head. "You did what was needed."
"Let's just say we're at an impasse and agree to disagree," Jim said, squeezing Spock in his arms quickly. "So, will you?"
Spock nodded, raising his hand to Jim's meld points. He pressed his fingertips softly to them. "My mind to your mind," he whispered. 'My thoughts to your thoughts.'
Spock opened his eyes. He seemed to be floating in space. They were stars, planets, and moons in the distance, very few fully visible.
"It is no wonder you believe you belong in space," Spock said, the noise echoing.
"Where are we?"
Spock turned to Jim, who had appeared beside him.
"The mindscape," Spock told him. Jim shrugged, not quite understanding.
"So how do we do this?" Jim asked as he took Spock's hand.
Spock fell to his knees overwhelmed, Jim right behind him. They could feel everything the other had ever felt. Every thought they had ever thought. But it was the resounding click that was still echoing that weakened Spock the most.
"Spock!" Jim yelled. "Spock, what's wrong?"
Spock turned to his panicking bondmate with dazed eyes. "T'hy'la," he breathed.
"What?" Jim asked, bewildered. "Spock, I need you to speak standard. What's wrong? How can I help?"
Spock shook his head. "Let me end the meld and I will tell you."
Jim nodded and let go. Spock closed his eyes, going back to himself.
He slowly dropped his hand, still amazed.
"Spock?"
He looked at Jim and stretched to kiss him softly. "You are my T'hy'la," he whispered.
"Your what?" Jim asked, bewildered.
"T'hy'la," Spock repeated. "There is no full translation for it in standard, but it has many meanings. Soul mate. The person who completes their mate," Spock's lips twitched up. "The person I can trust implicitly."
Jim blinked, then smiled. "It was destiny. We belong together."
And that's the end of this chapter. Two more left. Unfortunately, my school year is winding down and I have little time to work on this, especially since I can't write it during classes now. Plus I have four papers and a group project to finish before the end of the month. So the next update may take a while, but I'll try to get that done soon. Don't forget to review! Especially because this is my first posted slash sex scene!