Again, sorry for the wait! A little warning, this chapter takes the notion of absurdly long to a whole new level. I had this chapter planned out, but some of the scenes got longer than I thought they would, and, long story short, this chapter could easily be two if it weren't for the constraints of my sort-of-outline and the lyrics of the song. Everyone that's reviewed about length has said that they like long chapters though, so I wasn't incredibly worried about cutting it. If it's too long for you let me know though, and I'll put a bit more time into editing or rearranging the next time the issue comes up.

"You're a song I can't get off my mind."

Beckett found that, now that she had all the information she needed, she was the one having trouble focusing on the case. She'd been sitting in front of the whiteboard staring uncomprehendingly at its various notes for nearly twenty minutes when Esposito was suddenly beside her. She jumped, glaring at him. "Jeez! A little warning next time?"

"Sorry. Any great insights?"

"Don't you think I'd have shared them?"

"Not necessarily."

"Well, I've got nothing."

He nodded, looking down. "Shoe cleaned up okay."

"I'm still gonna kill you if you're the one who did it."

"I told you, it was Ryan."

"And he told me it was you. But I'm gonna get one of you to crack eventually."

"And then what are you gonna do? Shoot us?"

She shrugged. "Maybe so. Don't underestimate me."

"I don't."

"What about you guys? Any new leads?"

"Not new, just following up on some old ones." He shifted uncomfortably. "We're about to head out to pick up the vic's cousin. Alibi didn't check."

She fumed. "And you're just telling me this now?"

"Yeah. And you need to go check in with Lanie, she says she's got something new for us."

"You said you didn't have any new leads."

"I don't. What Lanie's got is something else."

"I might just shoot you out of spite. This is my case. I'm going to pick up the suspect, you and Ryan can check in with Lanie."

"By yourself? Like hell you are."

"I'll grab some uniformed backup. Or one of you can come with me for all I care."

Esposito slid off the desk they'd been sitting on and squared himself to her. "Beckett, you look me in the eye and tell me you're not distracted right now. You've been staring at that damn whiteboard for twenty minutes and you haven't come up with anything we missed? Either Ryan and I are suddenly really good, or you're thinking less about what's on the board and more about a certain injured redheaded teenager and her family. You know as well as I do how dangerous it is to go out on the field if your head isn't totally in the game. You tell me. Is your head totally in the game?"

She looked at him for a long moment. She wanted desperately to tell him he was wrong, that she was concentrated and just hadn't been able to come up with anything, but between the way he was looking at her and the inconvenient fact that he was right about it being dangerous to go into the field distracted, she found that she couldn't. So she sighed. "I'll go talk to Lanie."

"What do you have for me, Lanie?" she asked as she entered the morgue. "We didn't ask you for any more tests, did we? The boys aren't doing the best job keeping me informed on this one."

"No more tests, no new information. No, nothing to do with the case, this is just the only way I can be sure you see you anymore, and I know you have some new information to catch me up on. Javi told me what happened to poor Alexis. But she's gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, she'll be just fine."

"Good. Thank God. He also told me that you spent all of yesterday at the hospital with her family?" Lanie raised her eyebrows with her trademarked sideways smile. "Last I heard you weren't even speaking with writer boy. Sounds like things are getting a little better there."

She shrugged. "He's still as ass, but at least he knows it now. We're speaking. And I do kind of feel bad for him, you know? All this stuff with Alexis? You should've seen him yesterday."

"Not his finest hour?" she asked, some sympathy in her voice, which was rare for Lanie.

"Not really. I mean, whatever he did, he doesn't deserve that. And Alexis definitely doesn't. You've met her, she's never done anything to anyone."

"I know, she's a sweetie. But she's not really what this is about, is she?"

"What what is about?"

"What we're talking about right now."

"Hey, you started this whole conversation. I don't know what we're talking about."

Lanie shook her head, frustrated. "You didn't go to that hospital for Alexis, and you certainly didn't stay there all day for her."

Beckett sighed. Lanie obviously didn't know what they were talking about either. "She asked me to, actually. Castle told me to go back to work. So yeah, I did."

"Okay, I don't care if you're admitting to me, or him, or yourself, or anyone else what you're doing or who you're doing it for."

"Then what are you trying to tell me, Lanie?"

"I was just trying to talk to you. I haven't seen you in a little while and you're always working, and I happen to have a feeling about where you're gonna be going after work for at least a couple days now."

"This ought to be good. Where am I going?"

"I'm not sayin' anything because you're just gonna jump down my throat. And I don't even know if you're plannin' in, but if I know you, it's where you're gonna end up. I'm not sure you shouldn't be there now. Not makin' a whole lotta headway on the case, from what I've heard."

Beckett sighed before she replied, her tone clipped. "Don't get me wrong, it's great that you and Esposito are together, but you really need to stop talking about me."

"Oh, we talk about other things too."

"You really need to stop talking about me," she repeated.

"As your friend and your colleague, the only thing more I'm gonna say is you need to figure out what's distracting you and take care of it. And you can take that whatever way you please."

"Well if that's the only thing more you're going to say, then I'm going to get back to work."

"Okay, go work. But call me once in awhile, okay? Don't make me rely on Javi to tell me what's going on with my girl, and don't make me resort to makin' up stuff about work to get you in here to talk to me. Okay?"

Frustrated, she waved at Lanie as she made her way to the door.

But Lanie wasn't having that. "Kate Beckett, last I checked I was your best friend. Now, unless you wanna be on the market for a new one, I suggest you look at me and give me an answer."

She realized she was taking frustrations out on Lanie that the M.E. hadn't caused and sighed, feeling a little guilty for treating her so poorly. She faced her friend. "Sorry, Lanie. I'll call you, I swear."

Lanie smiled. "There's my girl. Okay, go on back to work. I'll talk to you soon."

As was often the case, Lanie's words echoed in her head for the rest of the day. She was right, as was Esposito. She was distracted, to the point that she was off her game, and to the point that she was being rude to Lanie. But what exactly was it that she was she distracted by? So many things, really. Castle wasn't around and she felt like he should've been. She was still mad at him. She wanted to forgive him, but she needed him to fully understand why what he did was so bad first, and she wasn't sure how she could make him understand that when she wasn't entirely sure herself. In addition to that, she felt terribly about Alexis and she wanted to know, not just assume, that the girl was doing okay, and she wanted to make sure that Castle wasn't beating himself up too much about what happened. It wasn't his fault, but he didn't seem to accept that entirely, and he needed to. And then she was annoyed and further distracted by the fact that she was distracted and wasn't making much headway on the case, which was probably the main reason she'd been so snippy with Lanie.

So every reason for her distraction pretty much involved Castle, whether directly or indirectly. What did that mean? She remembered Lanie's advice. "Take care of it."

She was in the parking lot of his building before she remembered the other part of what Lanie had said: "I happen to have a feeling about where you're gonna be going after work for at least a couple days now." She sighed, but smiled. Lanie knew her well, better than she knew herself at times. Kate hadn't known what she'd been talking about at the time, but now that she was here she knew she'd proven her friend right.

She wasn't expected, and she hoped her just showing up like this would be alright. She was a little nervous as she stood before the loft's front door. She didn't know who would answer or how she'd be greeted. She wasn't even one hundred percent sure that anyone was home, although she knew they were on point of heading back from the hospital the last time she talked to Castle, so they should've been there.

From the time she rang the bell, it took a little longer than she would've expected for the door to be answered, but finally it swung open to a very tired-looking Castle. "Kate," he greeted her, "hey. What are you doing here? Everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, Castle. Can I come in?"

"Oh, yeah, for sure. Sorry." He moved aside and ushered her through the door.

"How's Alexis?"

"Oh you know, she's…" he broke off, looking at her with the same worried expression that had been stuck in her head since the hospital. "I don't really know. I can tell she's in pain, but I can't really get her to talk to me."

"Is Martha with her now?"

"Yeah. She has a play rehearsal in…" he looked at a nearby clock, "an hour now, I guess. I'm supposed to be trying to get some sleep until then, but…" he shrugged sheepishly. "I wasn't really getting anywhere. I can't stop thinking about her. It could've been so much worse."

"But it wasn't," she told him gently.

"But it could've been." His expression was fixed, stubborn.

"But it wasn't." She could be just as stubborn as he could. Maybe more. "Have you slept at all since I left?"

He thought for a second. "No."

"Yeah, you look like it. What if I sat with Alexis for a little while? Would that help?"

"No, you don't have to do that. We're fine."

She rolled her eyes. "You're not fine. You need sleep, Castle. You'd tell me the same thing if we were in opposite positions. And I know I don't have to, but Alexis is a sweet kid and you're my friend, and I want to do what I can to help. So let me. Would it help?"

He sighed and nodded.

"You think you could sleep if I was with her?"

He nodded again. "Yeah. I trust you. Not that I don't trust my mom, but—"

She cut him off. "Okay. Show me where her room is."

"Hey sweetie, there's someone here to see you," Castle announced as he led Kate into his daughter's bedroom.

"Dad, I told you I didn't want any visitors," Alexis complained. Clearly she was less drugged than she had been the last time Beckett had seen her. If nothing else, she was more capable of creating a coherent sentence.

Beckett stepped in front of Castle before he could say anything. "I just wanted to see how you were doing, hon," she said. "If you want me to go I will, but I told your dad I'd sit with you for awhile so he could get some sleep. That okay?"

"Detective Beckett, hey," she greeted her. "Sorry. I didn't think it would be you. You can stay, but… don't you have better things to do?"

She smiled. "Don't worry about that. Nothing important."

Martha hugged her. "Kate, darling, you're just what we needed around here. Things were starting to get a little tense. Richard hasn't slept, and Alexis—"

"Gram?" Alexis warned, interrupting her.

Martha changed her tone, eliminating all traces of the sarcasm that was still obviously supposed to be there, "Alexis is in the most wonderful mood of her life. I should really be getting ready for my rehearsal, but I thought I'd let him sleep a little longer. Now that you're here though, if you don't mind—"

She nodded. "I'm fine here, as long as that's okay with Alexis. Go."

Martha nodded graciously and slipped out of the room.

"Dad?" Alexis asked, "Aren't you going, too? Sleep, remember?"

"Right." He looked to Kate, picking up a bottle of pills. "She can have one of these at seven, if you're still here." He put it down and tapped another bottle. "If the pain isn't as bad, she can have two of these. How are you feeling, sweetie?"

"Same as I was when you asked me fifteen minutes ago," Alexis growled. "Fine."

Castle sighed, but moved on. "There's food in the kitchen if she gets hungry, and help yourself to anything you want. My bedroom is two doors down on the left, come get me if you need anything."

"I'm sure we'll be fine, Castle. Get your rest."

He nodded. "Okay." He started to leave but then turned back around. "Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"How many times have I thanked you for this?"

"I… don't think you have. But I'll count this as one."

"Thank you," he told her redundantly. "There's two."

She nodded. "It's no problem."

"And how many times have I apologized?"

She blushed. "For?"

"You know what for."

She wondered if Alexis had any idea what they were talking about, but didn't look at the girl. "Once."

"I'm sorry. There's two." With that, he turned and left, closing the bedroom door behind him.

She felt the blush still on her cheeks as she turned to Alexis, but the girl thankfully didn't ask what they'd been talking about. "He's driving me crazy," she said through her teeth instead.

Beckett smiled. "I know the feeling." It occurred to her after she said it that maybe she shouldn't have. Castle was Alexis's father, after all.

But Alexis wasn't offended. Rather, she smiled. "Oh my God, I'm so glad you're here."

"I'm glad you're glad. Why's he driving you crazy?"

"He's hovering. Asking me how I am every five seconds, giving me these worried looks, and he won't leave me alone. Ever. He either has to be with me or have Gram with me all the time, even at night, to make sure I don't need anything. I mean, the doctors said to watch me a little more closely because of the concussion, but I started taking extra time in the bathroom just because it's the only time I ever get to myself. It's bad."

"Alexis, I know it might seem like a long time ago now, but your accident was only yesterday. He'll calm down. Things will go back to normal."

"Well, do you think you could maybe push him along a little? I can't deal with this for much longer."

"I doubt there's much I can do. If you haven't noticed, things have been a little… rocky between us lately."

"Believe me, I've noticed. When you guys weren't talking he was really distant. But now? I'd kill for distant."

Beckett smirked. "Never say things like that to a homicide detective."

Alexis blushed. "Oh. Right."

She laughed. "I'm kidding. I'm not going to arrest you or anything. We're just talking. Say what you want."

Alexis visibly relaxed. "Okay." She looked at the chair where Martha had been sitting before Kate came in. "You should sit down."

Kate moved the chair a little and then did. "Yeah, that's better," she said, smiling. "So, how're you really feeling? I promise I won't ask you every five minutes, or even every fifteen. As long as you give me an honest answer the first time."

But Alexis wasn't quick with a response. "Can we make a deal?" she asked instead.

Beckett was a little wary of that. She couldn't help it. "Depends on what that deal is."

"You can ask me that or any other question you want and I'll give you a completely honest answer, but then I get to ask you a question and you have to give me a completely honest answer."

Kate smiled. This sounded a lot like a slumber party game. She didn't know Alexis that well and wasn't accustomed to being especially open with people she didn't know well, but she was positive that she could handle one question. What could Alexis ask? Plus, they had to do something to pass the time. "Okay. I'm game."

"Do you want to change your question?"

"No, I stand by it. How are you really feeling?"

Alexis closed her eyes for a bit longer than the length of a blink, either thinking or somehow grimacing, Kate couldn't tell which. "Everything hurts. Literally everything. The medicine dulls it but doesn't make it go away, plus it's wearing off, and I hate the way it makes me feel. All out of it and weird. I'm taking the over the counter stuff at seven, I don't care what my dad says. The doctors said it was okay and it helps enough with the pain."

Beckett nodded. "As far as I'm concerned, that's entirely up to you. What hurts the most?"

"Ribs," Alexis answered easily. "My leg is fine as long as I don't move it, and that's easy enough. My head hurts a little, but I can deal with that. But between the broken ribs and whatever they did to repair my spleen, if I move the whole middle part of my body at all it hurts a lot. And that's really hard to not do."

Now Beckett grimaced. "That must be awful. I can only imagine."

Alexis sighed, and then continued more quietly, "Why did this have to happen?"

"It's not fair. You're right. But you know, a lot of stuff happens that isn't fair."

"Like with your mom?"

She swallowed. She hadn't actually been thinking about that, and she hadn't expected Alexis to delve into her subconscious quite so directly, but she was Castle's daughter, so she guessed she should've. "Yeah, like that. And just… you know. A lot of what I see from day to day. So much of it isn't fair. Bad stuff happening to good people."

"What about bad stuff happening to bad people? Do you think they deserve it?"

She frowned. "I mean, I'm a cop, so yeah, I believe in justice. I believe that criminals should be put in jail. But if you're talking about karma, I'm not so sure. Why do you ask?"

"Do you believe my dad deserves to go through this? All the worrying and everything? For what he did to you?"

She faltered. "How much do you know about that?"

"More than you'd think. I try not to know much about my dad's love life, but I usually find out. She was a murder suspect, right? He dated her?"

Beckett nodded. "Yeah." If this was all Alexis knew, that was fine. If she knew more but this was all she was saying, or "dated" was some kind of a euphemism, that was also fine.

"I love my dad. I do. But he's stupid sometimes. He's a guy. He can't help it."

Beckett smiled at that, but let it fade as she got to actually answering the girl's question. "You're right about that. But do I think he deserved this? No. Absolutely not. If I thought that, do you really think I'd be here right now trying to help?"

"No," she said quietly, "I guess not." Her tone changed. "Okay, can I ask you my question now?"

Kate raised her eyebrows. "You mean you haven't yet?" She'd revealed a lot to the girl already, and while she hadn't been exactly sure which part of what Alexis had asked was the question, she was certain that some part of it was.

"Oh, well, I didn't mean for it to be. I just… I thought we were talking, and I guess I got a little carried away. Is that okay?"

She couldn't help but smile. She couldn't say no to Alexis, not when she felt so bad for her. And what was one more question? "Yeah, it's fine."

"Okay. Good." She paused, smiled a little, and started her question, obviously prepared. "What's up with you and my dad now?"

Beckett rolled her eyes. "Can't you just ask me my favorite color or something?"

"That's no fun."

"I have to be totally honest, right?"

Alexis nodded slightly, probably as much as she was able to without causing herself intense pain.

"Then I have to tell you that I don't really have any idea. Why, has he said anything?"

Alexis rolled her eyes. "Please. He hasn't said anything to me that wasn't about me since the hospital. He started to open up a little bit when he started going to the precinct again… but not a ton. I can tell you for sure that he trusts you. He was more willing to leave you with me here than he was Gram. And at the hospital? He was so much more relaxed when you were there."

"He was? Once you were awake we barely talked."

"It was just that you were there, I think. Another friendly face."

She nodded. "I get that, I guess."

"But I think it's more than that. I think it's always been more than that. I think, no, forget that, I know he really cares about you. I mean, he loves working cases and solving 'real' mysteries, but you've seen his attention span. The only reason he really still does it is you. He likes being with you, but he never really says anything about it because, like I said, he's a guy and he can be stupid, and he doesn't know if you feel the same way."

Kate blushed again. How was she supposed to address this? "It's always been… complicated," she said. The deal was for complete honesty, but she didn't think she could or should tell the teenager that yes, she did care about her father, but she didn't feel able to fully trust him. Even if it was true, it didn't seem like the right thing to say, plus it was more complicated than that. More complicated than she was able to explain, than she could make Alexis understand. Right now she was fairly sure it was more complicated even than she could understand herself.

"That's not really an answer."

She sighed and decided to settle for as much of the truth as she could give the girl. "I do care about him."

Personally, I have very mixed feelings about this chapter. One, I think it's way too long, but that's reasonably unimportant. I don't know, there are parts of it I like, and obviously I got a little too attached to parts of it to edit it violently (hence the fact that it's still REALLY long...), but I feel like there were scenes I could've written better, and places where the meaning I intended probably didn't quite come through. Maybe it's just because this chapter took me so long to write and it hasn't been long since I finshed it. I don't know. Reviews are always very much appreciated, though. Thanks so much for your time and patience, especially lately. I'll get back to consistent updating, I swear! As soon as I can chase away the writers' block gnomes that have set up camp under my bed (where I tend to do most of my writing). Anybody know a good gnome exterminator?